Hey guys! Time to bring back the little kids again! I hope you enjoy and read and review, fav and subscribe! Thanks for all! I love you!
"Hey guys? You know what? My mom said Santa's gonna get me something called a 'Vibrator 4000, with G-spot action.' How kewl is that?" Cartman bragged, sitting at his desk in the front of the room. It was the holiday season before third grade, and the first time that I really started noticing differences between myself and my friends.
For starters, I only knew Santa from a distant relationship and through mutual friends. I still had Mister Hankey the Christmas Poo, but he only brought me one present. And my eight gifts from Hanuka kind of blew ass. I couldn't help being jealous of Cartman's vibrator, even if I had no idea what I'd do with one. I just ducked my head and tried to work my best at my addition problems, despite the conversations surrounding me.
"That's gay." Stan blurted, balancing his pencil on his eraser in as many different ways as he could. "I wrote Santa a list. I told him I wanted more action figures."
"You have enough," I murmured, deciding that I didn't like being left out of anything. Even if it was about stupid Christmas.
"What's Santa giving you, Kahl? Oh that's right, you're a dirty Jew." Cartman pointed out, and howled with laughter. My jaw clenched, but I continued to do my work silently. I didn't like being so outwardly different, and I was too young to take pride in my religion. After all, it wasn't a religious thing. All I saw was that my friends woke up to millions of presents from this jackass Santa, and I only got a few from my parents.
"What's that got to do with anything?" Stan asked, trying to stand up for me but not realizing that he was only getting me in deeper shit.
"It means Jesus and Santa don't love him." Cartman informed, chewing on his pencil.
"No it doesn't Fat Ass!" I hissed, mostly irritated because that was my biggest fear. "It means that I get a present each night for eight nights, and I light candles instead of a tree."
"Oh," Stan raised his eyebrows. "Kick ass!"
"No, he gets lame presents like trattles or Jewy candy." Cartman rolled his eyes.
"They're dreidels and they sound more kick ass than your vibrater!"
"Oh yeah? My vibrater is guaranteed to make me scream with joy! Can your Jew-toys do that?"
"Yeah it can!" I lied and threw my pencil on the desk. "Every time I play with my dreidels I scream with joy!"
"I bet you do not! I bet I can play with them all day long and never scream with joy!" Cartman challenged.
"Then go ahead and play with them!"
"No, I'll get AIDs or something." Cartman rolled his eyes again, and continued to nibble his pencil.
"Kenny, what's AIDs?" Stan asked, and Kenny muttered something that was muffled under his coat. Cartman burst out laughing again, Stan's mouth popped open and I pouted.
"My dreidels have not been up anyone's butthole Kenny! That's sick!" I slammed my hand on the desk, mad with the constant teasing.
That of course didn't silence anyone who was laughing, which was mostly Cartman but also Kenny. I felt ready to cry. I hated being the outcast of the group, and all because stupid Jesus and Santa hated me.
I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, bringing me to blush and steady my rapid breathing. "Hey, Kyle, if it makes you feel better you can put your dreidels in my butt anytime you want."
Haha, dreidels is like legos. It's just a really filthy word! Maybe I'm a total pervert... hmmm... oh well! You've got to love it! Thanks for reading! Please review and let me know what you think!