I could hardly get used to the looks they were continuously giving me. The sailors, or what was left of them, at least, would give me dirty looks every time I passed them on the deck. Even after three weeks of being on this god-forsaken ship, during which around half of the sailors had died of a variety of causes (I was happy for my oranges, yet felt incredibly bad about not being able to help the rest of the sailors – they would not accept fruit from a woman), they had still not gotten used to a woman being so openly in view on their ship. Demetri and Felix had tried to keep me confined to the cabin, but I quickly made it clear to them I would lose my mind if I had to be locked away the entire day. After a heated discussion of around half an hour, I flatly told them I would break out if I had to and asked whether they preferred the scenario of me being accompanied by them or the scenario in which I break out and risk stumbling upon some not so friendly sailors. With a roll of his eyes, a grumbling of how my etiquette was extremely lacking and a threat of him killing me as soon as he had the chance, Demetri had caved. Felix had only been highly amused the entire time. Although he too, believed me to be lacking in most social skills, he had come to accept it and merely found it entertaining, which further fueled Demetri's annoyance.
So, all of that led to us currently standing on the deck of the ship, me staring into the deep darkness of the ocean, wondering how many creatures lay hidden. How many of those had mankind not discovered yet? During this time, undoubtedly many more, yet so much still remained to be discovered in my time as well. If we ever get the chance for it. After all, the earth was changing rapidly due to mankind's inconsiderate behaviour: politicians denying climate changes, companies continuing to extract oil, mass over-consumption of meat. We were going to lead ourselves to our own doom.
Though I suppose that wasn't a current issue.
Climate change would not be a problem for many years.
"You are not considering jumping overboard, are you, Evelyn?" Felix snapped me out of my musings and I glanced sideways. His eyes sparked with amusement, yet his voice told me he was half serious.
"Taking into account her clear lack of intelligence, she just might." Demetri spoke, still sour of having lost the argument that allowed me on the deck of the ship. In order to distract myself from all that was happening, I had resorted to taunting Demetri every chance I got, so that is what I did this time as well. Stupidly, some might say, considering Demetri obviously outranked Felix and he had already made it abundantly clear that he strongly disliked me. I had very little to lose, so I ignored my rational side, instead pinching his cheek.
"Next argument we have, Dem, I will let you win out of the kindness of my heart." He narrowed his eyes at my nickname for him, before slapping away my hand. He grumbled, but I knew he was not furious: his slap had been forceful, true, but not as strong as it could have been. Somewhere, I believed he might actually started to like me to a certain extent. Maybe I was growing on him. "And don't worry, Felix, if I ever decide to jump overboard, I will give you fair warning in advance."
He smiled back at me, and I stared down once more, captivated by the ocean.
"I've always been fascinated by the water. All life needs it to survive. It is calm and soothing, yet beautifully cruel, deadly and harsh during storms." I spoke without meaning to, folding my arms in front of me. The wind blew the hair from my face.
"A bit of an odd fascination to have, yet I suppose it is not your oddest characteristic." Felix smirked.
"My brother found it odd as well." I smiled sadly, remembering a time, long ago, when our parents had taken us to the beach for the weekend. I had loved it. Oliver not so much. "He feared the water, refusing to go near it. He was convinced a shark was going to jump out and eat him." I chuckled, his face almost solidifying in front of me. Our parents had tried everything - and failed miserably - in trying to coax him into the water: treats, play. I, being the mean 9 year old I was, had simply filled a bucket with sea water and dropped it unceremoniously over his head. When I told Felix as much, he burst out laughing.
"So you never have been a proper lady." I shrugged.
"He dared to go into the water up to his knees after that." I smiled, "He resorted to ignoring me for three days straight, however, until I apologized."
"Where is your brother now?" Felix asked. The question was innocent enough, yet I froze completely, his bloodied face flashing in front of my eyes. I could almost hear his trembling voice, begging me to run. I clenched my eyes shut, swallowing back the sadness that was wallowing deep inside of me. Even Demetri seemed to catch onto my sudden change of mood.
"Did he finally shun you from the family, realizing that you were worthless and a whore?" His voice cut through me and the sadness came back in full force. I opened my eyes, blinking back the tears, before moving away from the deck and back to the cabin. Luckily, the wounds were healing quite well, having become a mere nuisance when I was walking around. Thus, I made my way to the cabin I shared with Demetri and Felix and sat down on the incredibly uncomfortable bed.
Images of his death kept flashing before my eyes and nothing I did, made them go away. I couldn't help but feel it was my fault. He died trying to protect me. I hugged my knees close to me, leaning against the wooden wall and burying my face in my arms. Finally, I allowed the tears to spill. I don't know how long I sat there for, my body shaking with violent sobs, tears streaming down my face. For the first time, I actually grieved for the brother I lost. I had always appreciated him. I had loved him. For a very long time, he was all I had and vice versa.
"I did not think you could show any emotion besides scorn and amusement." Demetri appeared in front of me and I visibly froze, shocked by his sudden appearance. I snorted, refusing to look up at him, instead I rested my cheek on my arm and focused on the side of the cabin.
"Sometimes it is easier to hide behind happiness and sarcasm, rather than to address the sadness inside." From the corner of my eye, I saw him consider those words, before something on his face changed and he sat down beside me.
"I do apologize for having caused you this much turmoil, Evelyn." I looked to the right, taking in his perfect appearance.
"Felix convinced you to come down here?" He smirked before shaking his head.
"Regardless of whether you believe me or not, I do find your presence mildly entertaining and I did not wish to see you so upset."
"It wasn't your fault." I wiped the tears from my face, realizing how pathetic I must look right now. "I think it was bound to happen sometime." I had been refusing to acknowledge the grief for weeks now, always pushing it to the back of my mind and now it finally spilled over.
"Why would you say that?" For a few seconds, I pondered on whether I should tell him, before coming to the conclusion that it did not matter.
"They killed him. The villagers. Right before they took me to be burned at the stake." I left out the small detail that he probably would have died regardless, due to him being stabbed by the other men. Something akin to sympathy crossed Demetri's eyes before he nodded.
"He is in a better place." He offered and I smiled a sad smile, appreciating he was at least trying to make me feel better. Next, he offered me his handkerchief in a very old-fashioned gesture, which made me laugh through my tears.
"I'm no damsel in distress." I snorted, finally able to push back the tears. He smiled.
"Believe me, I have come to realize that." Still, I took the piece of cloth and wiped away the remainder of my tears. "We should arrive by tomorrow, do try to get some sleep." He stood up, smiled once more, before leaving the room.