Title: Secret Affair

Author: Syalie

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story and made up character, all other characters belong to their respective owner. And no profit is earned through this creation.

Not Beta-ed yet, my beta reader seems bit busy, and personally I will hate it when the story I'm reading got hanged too long, so I post this so if you don't mind my lousy English, hope you will enjoy this :p

Chapter 20:

Ziva had been trying to gather her gut, find a good way and the right time to tell Tim about her past with Tony while they are preparing for their wedding that will be held on December, taking the advantage of Christmas leave. She kept on reasoning to herself that the time is not right yet, she will tell him when the time is right, and keep dragging it till it's only a month away from their wedding day.

All things mostly arranged, and Tim asked Gibbs help to handle Abby's helping hand, they appreciate the good will of everyone, specially Abby, but they want this to become something private and special for both of them and that means they want to arrange things their own.

Especially on the details like wedding gown, cake, decorations and they want a simple party only, no particular theme. Tim had difficulties explained to Abby why they don't need her help, and then he asked for Gibbs help and things solved, even though Abby still a bit not happy of that, but Ziva had asked her to become her bridesmaid and she can choose the bridesmaid's costume, and that seems to lighten her a bit.

With almost everything arranged, Tim and Ziva can breath easier now and can have some time for relax this weekend.

They cuddling on the bed as they usually do when they watch TV in their bedroom when Ziva suddenly switch the TV off. She sit facing the confused Tim and take a deep breath, try to calm her self for this moment.

"What's wrong honey? having nausea again? let's just go to doctor, you've not feeling well for a week already?" Tim ask Ziva worriedly, she looked a bit pale lately but when he asked she would only said that she's just a bit tired with the preparation and all.

"I'm ok Tim, just a bit tired" Ziva take her breath again

"And there's something I need to tell you"

"That can wait, now, I'll take you to doctor first" Tim insist

"No, Tim, I need to tell you this now, or else I might lose my gut again"

Now Tim feel curious "Ok, shot it"

"You remember when we resign and I went back to Israel?"

"Yeah, what about that?"

"Gibbs sent Tony to find me"

"Yeah, and he didn't found you and came back empty handed"

"Actually, he found me at my old house, the one I spend my childhood"

"Tony found you? but why he said he didn't ?"

"Because I told him to"

"Because you don't want to be found"

"It's ok, Ziva, we all can understand your situation that time" Tim smile at her, and that smile stab Ziva's heart

"The problem was, Tim, while Tony's there, we kind of had a relationship, and it's not just a fling, I said that I loved him and he too feel the same"

Tim feel like being stabbed in the back by those words, and it goes straight to his heart. Ziva's voice admitting she love Tony and Tony also love her echoing in his mind, he froze for what felt like a lifetime.

"And you only tell me now?" Tim says after he found his voice

"So close to our wedding? really Ziva?" there's a sadness, disappointment and anger in his voice. he massage his temple for sudden headache.

"But that all was a past, Tim, for both me and Tony" Ziva try to calm Tim

"Me and Tony had sort that out before you and me even officially date" Ziva tried to assure Tim.

"Then why you not tell me about this sooner?"

"Because I'm afraid that if I tell you, I will lose you"

"The one I want in my life is you Tim, not Tony or anyone else, and I'm so scared that if you know about my past with Tony, you will leave me"

"I can't live without you Tim"

Tim look at Ziva, her face wet with tears, he love her, with all his heart, seeing her cry like this break his heart, but what about Tony? how is Tony really felt about their upcoming wedding. Tony seems to be fine and keep his cool, but he can imagine that Tony's heart actually bleed and he still encourage Tim, he felt like he'd betrayed the man that he considered as his own brother, he had stole his love.

Tim's heart and head torn and he suddenly get up, grab his wallet and car key and head to the door. "I need some time to think" he says and head out, leaving Ziva behind, crying her heart out.

Tim wonder the street aimlessly, trying to calm his heart and clear his head, when he feel like calm enough, he pull aside, take out his phone and dial a number

"Where are you?"

"You mind if I stop by? there's something I need to talk to you"

"It's urgent, Tony, please"

"Ok, I'll be there in 10 mins"

He close his phone and drive to his destination, reach it in less than 10 minutes.

"What bring you here Probie? Shouldn't you been spending your weekend with your bride to be rather than me?" Tony tease him when he open the door for him.

Tim brush past him and head to his couch, throw himself on it. Tony realized Tim's gloomy mood and say "What's wrong Probie? You look like crab"

"You got something you want to tell me, Tony?" Tim start his question

"Come on, you are the one that call me and say that you have something to tell me" Tony ask him back in confuse

"Right, it's me who need to tell you that I'm sorry"

Tony is really confused now, why does Tim suddenly apologize to him?

"I'm sorry for stealing your loved one, Tony"

Surprised by that statement, Tony stunned for a moment

"I don't understand what are you saying Probie, are you drunk?"

"Why you never told me that you love Ziva ?"

That question caught Tony off guard, he froze for a moment

"That's all in the past, Tim"

"The one she love now is you, not me"

"I'm sorry Tony, I'm sorry for causing you so much pain and be happy above your pain"

"You don't know Tim, and I was intend to keep it that way"

"Me and Ziva were history, and we've agreed to just be friend only, like what we used to be"

"I'm so sorry Tony, if I knew that you love her before, I will.."

"You will what Tim? You will not love her?"

"Yes, no, I don't know"

"Do you love Ziva, Tim?"

"Of course, I won't married her if I don't"

"If I tell you that I love Ziva, will you still love her or you will just retreat and let me and Ziva get together?"

"I will still love her, but if she feel better with you, I'll retreat for you guys"

"You see? there's the problems, you always put other people happiness above yours"

"Once in your life, It's ok to be selfish Tim, and the one that Ziva want is you, not me, so, please, make her happy, for me too"

"Do you still love Ziva, Tony?"

"I can't live my life knowing that I've taken away your happiness"

"Ziva and me were in love, that's past tense, we don't now, not anymore"

"Will you mad at me if I date Abby, Tim?"

"No, why would I be mad at you if you date Abby?"

"You and Abby dating?"

"No, I'm just hypothetically speaking"

Tony can see Tim's brain churning right now, processing his last question

"See? now you know what I mean?

Tim look at Tony, trying to figure out Tony's real feeling.

"You sure you are ok with this?"

"I'm 1000% sure, me and Ziva are best friends now, just like you and Abby"

"Just don't make her cry, treasure her, she deserve that, if you ever make her cry, you will face my wrath" Tony tell Tim jokingly

Tim sighs, "You can punch me now because the last time I saw her when I left the apartment, she's crying, I'm such an idiot" Tim loath himself

"Then go home, tell her you are sorry for made her cry, and tell her how much you love her and will never left her what ever happen"

"Thanks Tony, this means a lot to me" Tim says when he head to the door

Tim was just head to his car when his cell ring, it's from Gibbs, he picked it up to hear Gibbs shout. "Where are you? Ziva collapsed, I'm taking her to hospital now, you better head there now" and he drive to the hospital as fast as he could.