Notes:
Sorry for the delay!
Thank you all, as always, for reading and for all your comments!
The Queen's Hall had little changed since Ashara Dayne last set foot inside the room. The light of the high hung candelabras shone off of the silver mirrors on the ceiling, illuminating the room in a warm glow. She and Prince Oberyn were not the first to arrive. A small number of guests were milling around the room, talking with one another.
No one announced their entrance, but the servant at the door told them that the King had yet to arrive. The Princess Arianne noticed their arrival first. She excused herself from the man with whom she was laughing and walked to them, her red gown fluttering as she moved.
"Uncle, Lady Ashara," Arianne said, her tone warning. "I am uncertain that your presence here is proper this evening, my lady."
"She is the eldest daughter of one of our most noble Houses," Oberyn replied quickly. "And her son has saved the King's life."
Arianne narrowed her eyes at Oberyn. "Did you tell her that the Hand of the King and his wife are in attendance?"
Ashara scarcely caught the smirk on Oberyn's lips when she felt herself grow cold. She took a step back, but was met by an arm holding her at the small of her back. "You knew?"
"Of course I knew," he replied.
"Why didn't you tell me," Ashara hissed.
"You didn't ask. Nor did you considered that the Hand would obviously attend the welcome dinner for the future Queen." He dismissed Arianne's protests by greeting her with a kiss before continuing. "No one will speak a word about her presence. The King may praise her for Jon saving his life."
"And Lord and Lady Stark and Lady Ashara will be subject to many inquiring looks," Arianne rebutted, visibly displeased.
"I am accustomed to withering glances, my lady," Ashara said with forced calm. "I assure you, none shall find cause to gossip tonight."
Oberyn grunted a laugh, but said nothing further.
Arianne glared for a moment longer before she shook her head, her many curls swaying at the movement, and turned to the room. Ashara's eyes followed the Princess for a few moments before wandering to the crowd. She knew many of the attendees, mainly nobles from Dorne. Arianne was now speaking with her brother and a dark haired man Ashara didn't know. Her eyes fell upon a different dark haired man dressed in dark blue who stood beside a red-haired woman in a dark green gown, they were facing away, speaking to nobles Ashara vaguely knew as being from the Reach and Stormlands.
She knew at once who stood there. She turned, driven by some instinct to flee, but was met by Oberyn standing firmly in her way. She looked to him, pleading. "Let me leave, before anyone sees."
"But where would the fun be in that, my dear? I loathe this place and this company. You can distract me and help me live up to my brother's expectations."
She bit her tongue, hard. She was trapped, between duty and her past. "Then get this over with and introduce us," she hissed.
He smiled then, and she hated him for it. Did he see her as nothing more than entertainment? No, she knew that was unfair. He was grieving and needed the distraction, though it was at her expense. She did need to speak to Ned again, she had just preferred to wait.
Oberyn took her gently by the arm and walked toward the pair Ashara had noticed. One of the men facing them saw their approach, Alesander Staedmon was his name, the Lord of Broad Arch in the Stormlands.
"Prince Oberyn Martell," he announced. "Who is this enchanting beauty beside you?"
The guests he was speaking with turned to face them. She saw Ned's face as he recognized her, first blank, then utterly shocked, before he could reign himself into a more neutral expression. When she saw his wife's face it was froze in some pallid, indescribable, emotion between pain and anger.
She could feel Oberyn's smile without seeing his face. "Lord Staedmon, this is Lady Ashara Dayne, of Starfall."
Lord Staedmon's face turned remarkably blank. He knew her reputation, it would seem. "A pleasure, Lady Ashara," he said, kissing her hand in welcome.
"I believe you know, Lord Eddard Stark, the Hand of the King," Oberyn continued.
Ned was frozen, his gaze lingering on her for longer than was socially polite. Then he reached for her hand and kissed it. "Lady Ashara," he muttered in welcome.
"Lord Stark," she said stiffly. When he released her hand, she curtsied to his wife. "Lady Stark."
Lady Stark's greeting was polite, proper. Ashara managed to look at her eyes and saw only a cold mask of formality. "Lady Ashara."
Silence hung between them, thick and uncomfortable. The group with whom Lord and Lady Stark had been speaking slowly moved themselves away, though some stayed within earshot.
Lady Catelyn was the one to break the silence. "My daughters spoke very kindly of you and of Dorne. Thank you for caring so well for them in our absence."
For a moment, Ashara was struck speechless by Lady Stark's politeness. "It was an honor to care for them. Your daughters are both very lovely and were a pleasure to get to know. Though my sister Allyria, Lady Cerin Dondarrion, and Prince Doran Martell were their hosts and your lord husband gave the girls to the care of their… to my daughter Alysanne."
Lady Stark's smile thinned, still polite, though she was clearly unhappy. "Yes, they were telling me of their adventures in the south and they spoke well of your children. I must thank you for their gowns, they are lovely."
"The generosity of Dorne is a pleasure to offer everyone. The girls languished in the heat of Dorne, and were only aided only by the coolness of our waters and clothes."
Ned finally managed to speak. "Even so, you have our thanks."
"You know that I would care well for any of your children, my lord." She spoke evenly, trying to keep her tone neutral.
Oberyn snickered briefly at her words, but she paid him no mind, focusing rather on Ned. His hair showed streaks of grey, and lines weathered his face. He was older, but so was she. "Have you had a pleasant time with my eldest sons? I have not yet seen Jon since my return."
"Yes," he replied, a slight smile warming his expression. "You have raised them well."
"Thank you, though I do wish they could have known you better over the years."
She heard a sharp breath from more than one person, but met Ned's eyes. He stiffened, as did his wife beside him. His voice was cold when he replied. "My duties kept me in the North until I was asked to be Hand of the King."
She couldn't help but laugh bitterly. "Yes Ned, duties to your people, your wife, and her children. Yet my children have no need of a father it seems." She saw his color rise, and found that she little cared for any excuse he might offer.
"This isn't the place for such a conversation," he growled.
"Indeed," she replied. "I assume we will have many days hence where we may discuss such matters." She turned to Oberyn, smiling with spiteful fervor. "Oberyn, I do believe that you have yet to introduce me to so many in this room."
He was smiling wickedly at her, proud. "Indeed, if you will excuse us, Lord and Lady Stark? It is improper for us to occupy all of your time."
Ned glared at Oberyn. "You may take your leave."
"I thank you for your time, Lord and Lady Stark," Ashara replied.
"Enjoy the feast," Catelyn said, her tone neutral.
He guided her from them, his hands warm against her waist. "You're trembling," he murmured in her ear.
"What did you expect," she hissed.
"I was uncertain, but what I saw was delightful."
"So glad that I could amuse you," she mocked. "Never again use me for your sport."
"I merely introduced you, the rest is your unresolved anger toward him."
She turned to him, they were far enough away from others that they would not be overheard. "No more tonight," she asked softly. "I do not wish to think upon it."
He kissed her brow. "I shall antagonize you no more this day."
Catelyn Stark watched Ashara Dayne walk into the crowd, Prince Oberyn Martell at her side. Much of the fear and anxiety which had built within her at the idea of meeting this woman receded. Ashara Dayne was fair to look upon, to be sure, but she seemed rather changeable, flighty. As Catelyn's shock faded, she began to see the woman with indifference.
She looked to Ned and felt herself grow cold as she followed his eyes. He was still watching her, that woman with violet eyes, black hair, and a melodic voice. She had no word of comfort for him nor any word of reproach. In this matter, she left him to his own counsel. However, given that they were leaders at a feast to welcome the future Queen, they needed to move from spectacle to sociability with haste.
"My Lord," she said. "Shall we speak to more of the guests?"
He looked to her, distance in his eyes. "It is our duty," he said dully.
He took her by the arm and they proceeded to speak with more of the guests. She could feel a change in the room, eyes would shift from him to Lady Ashara. The room knew and whispered, eager to gossip about love affairs imagined or real, past or present.
Half an hour passed before the herald announced the arrival of the King. Catelyn and Ned made their way to the front of the room, near the three Martells, Ser Garlan Tyrell, and Lady Ashara who was still beside Prince Oberyn. All dipped their knees in welcome to the King. When all arose again, he walked directly to Princess Arianne, and bent to kiss her. First on her hand in the Andal fashion and then both of her cheeks in the Dornish fashion.
"Princess Arianne," he said. "I must beg your forgiveness for my absence when you arrived here today. I pray that you will not hold such an oversight against me."
She smiled up at him, for more than a foot separated their heights. "Most assuredly, Your Grace. The business of the realms is of paramount importance."
"You are as bright and lovely as I recall, my lady," he replied.
"Truly? You seemed terribly disinterested as I recall."
"We were young," he laughed. "I hope that I can amend your opinions of me."
"I have no doubts that you will." She was smiling broadly, though without any sincerity. She turned aside to her brother. "Please, allow me to introduce my brother, Prince Quentyn." Prince Quentyn Martell and King Renly Baratheon clasped hands and greeted one another.
Arianne turned next to Lady Ashara. "May I also introduce you to Lady Ashara Dayne, my principal lady in waiting and mother to Jon Sand who serves in your personal guard."
Catelyn could see the recognition pass through Renly's eyes as they flickered from Ashara to Ned to herself before returning to Ashara. He kissed her hand in greeting. "Your son is a credit to you, Lady Ashara."
"Thank you, Your Grace."
"You have four children, correct?"
Catelyn could feel herself stiffen at the King's question, this was not the place to discuss bastards. Lady Ashara smiled, fondness in her features. "Yes, Alysanne, Jon, Arthur, and Lucas. They have all come to King's Landing with me so that we may attend Princess Arianne."
"That is splendid. I look forward to meeting the rest."
"It would be an honor, my King," she replied.
"Well then, I believe that it is well past time to eat. Come, sit beside Prince Oberyn at our table."
Ashara's eyes widened in surprise. "I would be honored, Your Grace."
Catelyn breathed deep, forcing herself to remain civil. She did not wish to spend the evening at the same table as Ned's former lover, though it would seem that she had no choice in the matter. They walked together to the head table. The King and his future Queen sat together at the head of the table. Her brother to her right her while Ser Garlan Tyrell sat to the King's left. Prince Oberyn and Lady Ashara sat beside Princess Arianne and Prince Quentyn while Catelyn and Ned sat beside Ser Garlan. Catelyn's brother Edmure took the seat to her right, for which she was thankful.
They spoke on matters of little importance throughout the first course. Catelyn was glad of the meaningless conversation, she was able to ignore the woman who was seated across the table from her for the majority of the meal. As the evening progressed, the conversation changed.
"Ser Garlan," Lady Ashara began, "We heard of the loss of your brother Ser Loras some months ago, you have my condolences."
"Thank you, Lady Ashara," he replied. "It is a terrible thing to lose one so beloved."
"Indeed," she said. "Losing a brother or any loved one is a difficult thing."
"My brother died doing one of the things he loved well, fighting for the good of all people."
The King smiled tightly, adding his own thoughts into the conversation. "Ser Loras was a good man, and a skilled swordsman. He will be missed, just as dearly as all others whom we have lost or will lose." He forced a lighter expression, and changed the subject. "Lady Ashara, as I contemplate talented swordsmen, I am reminded that your brother Ser Arthur was one of the best swords that Westeros has ever seen. If Jon continues to perform as well as he has been, he may very well grow to be as legendary as his uncle."
Catelyn saw Ashara look to Ned briefly before she turned her gaze to the King. "Thank you, Your Grace," she replied, emotion thick in her voice. "I believe that my brother could think of no greater praise for Jon, if he were here with us."
Catelyn felt Ned stiffen beside her as Ashara spoke, and she saw Ser Barristan Selmy shift uncomfortably behind the King at Ashara's words. She wondered what it was in Ashara's words that provoked such discomfort in the two men. She knew that Ned was involved in the battle which saw the death of Ser Arthur Dayne, but she knew nothing else of that fight. Ned never spoke of the war, and truth be told, she had little desire to learn more details of those dark days.
Renly raised his glass and his voice. "Let us all drink to those who have fallen in battle, brave souls who bled and died so that our futures will be secure."
Catelyn and all the dinner guests raised their cups and drank in honor of the departed. As they drank, some at the table said names of people who Catelyn could only assume were friends and family who had died in the war. When that was finished, another guest suggested that they drink to King Renly and Princess Arianne. The suggestion was agreed to with cheering from most of the guests.
When the cheers quieted and the flagons refilled, Prince Oberyn looked amongst those closest and then to the King. "Shall we drink to the battles to come, Your Grace?"
With a wry smile, Renly sipped his wine. "The war may yet cease. Lord Balon Greyjoy has submitted, and his son shall sit on my council as an advisor. Only my brother remains outside the peace of the realms."
Ser Andrew Estermont spoke up from further down the table. "And shall Stannis finally bend the knee?"
"Bend the knee," Lord Yohn Royce laughed. "Stannis Baratheon will never bend, not even when he's lost."
Renly seemed pensive while his lords jested. When they quieted, he spoke softly. "No, my brother shall not bend, he has ever been a stubborn fool. I have, however, sent a final plea for reason. If refuses to submit, the fleet will launch for Dragonstone shortly after the wedding and coronation. Ser Garlan has already offered to lead the fleet, to which I have heartily agreed."
His words were met with shouts of approval, but Catelyn noticed that some of their responses were tepid. Everyone in the room may have sworn themselves to Renly Baratheon's kingship, but putting a third-born son ahead of a second-born son was not a precedent that anyone preferred. Issues of succession could arise in any number of Houses due to this, and wars could come from second sons or bastard sons claiming the inheritance which wasn't theirs. Still, Catelyn smiled and applauded with the rest of the crowd.
Hours passed during the feast. Uncomfortable hours where Ned could feel the tension of his wife radiating from her body. Ned himself had no notion of what he felt seated beside Cat and across from Ashara. Truly there were no words to articulate everything which seeing both women at once evoked within him.
Overall, the dinner passed unremarkably. Other than a several uncomfortable glances and a few off-colored comments from Prince Oberyn, they dined in peace. Renly and Arianne by the end of the meal were laughing together easily, a good sign for the future of Westeros.
When the meal was at an end, Renly stood with his betrothed. "My lords and ladies, Princess Arianne and I shall now retire for the evening. Please, enjoy the rest of the evening and the bounty of this feast." Everyone stood and bowed to them as they made their way from the table and out of the room. They were quite a sight to behold standing side by side, as the top of her head didn't quite reach his shoulders.
Shortly after they left, Catelyn turned to him. "I believe that I shall retire for the evening, my lord."
"Would you like me to escort you back to our rooms?"
She forced a small smile. "You do not have to; stay and enjoy the feast if you will."
Edmure spoke up from Catelyn's side. "I shall escort Cat back to the Tower of the Hand if you wish to remain."
"I would be grateful for that Edmure," Ned replied. "There are some here with whom I wish to speak this evening." His wife's brother gazed at him unhappily, which Ned chose to ignore. Instead, he looked to his wife. "I will come to you later if you wish."
The distance in her eyes began to fade and she softened a little at his words. "I would like that Ned."
He reached for her hand, and squeezed it as he kissed her softly. He watched her as she left the feast with Edmure. They were not the only ones to leave at that time, many in the room left for the evening. Ned moved to find the lords with whom he wished to speak, and they spoke on many matters. However, even as he talked to others in the room, he could see Ashara as she stood beside Oberyn. Her words of rebuke still rang in his head, and he knew that he needed to speak with her.
Eventually, he walked to where Ashara and Oberyn stood talking with Garlan Tyrell and Quentyn Martell. He greeted them all, and after a few moments he looked to Ashara. "Lady Ashara, may we speak?"
She looked hesitant at first, but seeing the grin on Oberyn's face, she agreed. "Of course, my lord. If my lords will excuse me?"
"Of course, my lady," they said.
She stepped away from them, glaring briefly at Oberyn as she moved to stand beside Ned. They walked away from the crowds, toward the large porch which ran along one side of the Queen's Hall.
"They are watching us," she said as they walked.
"I assume that they will do so for as long as you and I live within the castle."
"As do I. Your wife retired for the evening?"
"She did; she was tired."
"Mmm I agree with that sentiment. I am exhausted."
"I can escort you back to your rooms if you would like."
She laughed. "Oh Ned, I think it is far too soon for me to be seen alone with you. Not even a day here and already my presence creates gossip, we should discourage that don't you agree?"
"Of course," he startled; he hadn't considered how such an offer could be misconstrued. "I was only concerned for your well-being."
She smiled at him, gently touching his arm. "You are ever the noble gentleman Ned."
They walked outside, onto the porch where the air was cooler. They were alone, though still within view of the other guests. "You seem less angry with me than earlier."
"I have never been angry with you Ned, only upset in matters regarding the children."
He considered her words with some skepticism but did not press the issue. "I find myself agreeing with your words earlier. The more time I spend with the boys, the more I find myself wishing that I had sent for them."
"I always thought you would. Why didn't you?"
It was easier, he thought. It was easier to avoid the issue altogether. "For Catelyn," he said. "For a simpler life." Her jaw clenched and she drew her arms around herself. "I am sorry Asha, for everything I have done to you and the children."
She took a few steps forward, looking out across the parapet. He walked to stand beside her, but said nothing, waiting for her to speak. "What have you done to me Ned? Have you done anything where I had no choice?"
"I left you alone to raise our children."
"I was hardly alone," she replied. "Allyria and Marissa, the nurses and stewards, Lord Beric, and Oberyn... I was well supported in my endeavours. My children lacked for nothing except you."
"And you lacked a husband."
"An old conversation, which I believe we had when last we spoke face to face. I may not have known what the consequences would be when I met you, what is it now... eighteen years ago, more or less? But I know now that having Alys saved my life. I would have fought to stay beside Elia to the bitter end if I had not been sent away, and I would have died beside her. Nothing will sway me from that belief, not ever." She spoke passionately, though he could hear the sorrow in her voice. "And beside all that, I am not entirely alone, you know of Oberyn and I."
"I do, though you seem rather at odds with him this evening."
She looked back toward the hall, her eyes narrowed. "He is... fond of uncomfortable situations, such as our reunion. If anything, his daughter's death has only made him testier."
"Still, I wish that you could have had more. I know you dreamed of a different life."
She shook her head, her expression dark. "Did you wish to speak with me about your regrets regarding me? I truly do not wish to have that conversation... preferably ever."
He breathed deep and slow, feeling a stab of regret again for all he had done. "No, I wanted to speak to you about Jon."
His statement seemed to spark some fear within her. "What about Jon?"
"Did you know that he is to be knighted?"
Visibly relieved, she smiled. "Yes, Arthur told me. I am very proud of him, and all that he has gained for himself."
"Did Arthur tell you that Jon has been granted land by the King?"
Her eyes widened, surprised. "No, no he must have been waiting for Jon to surprise me with that news. That's wonderful."
"We were looking over the deeds to the land today. The King may have said that the grant is small, but there are some who name themselves lord with smaller holdings. There is an iron mine in the holdings, farmland, timberlands, and river access. When Jon is knighted within the next few weeks the lands will be officially signed over to him, with you as manager of his incomes until he comes of age in a few months."
Her eyes shimmered with tears. "That's, that's wonderful."
"There is more, the revenues from the lands are around five thousand dragons per year."
She stared at him, winded, before she found her balance against the parapet. "That's enormous."
"As I said, his yearly revenues will be higher than some lesser lords."
"Who all knows of this?"
"That Jon is to be knighted for his valor in battle is well known. That Jon will be granted something for saving the King's life is also known. However, Jon and I were only made aware of the amount of his incomes today. The King sees it as a small gift."
"Five thousand dragons per year is hardly a small gift."
"It is for Renly Baratheon, even before he became king."
She closed her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief. "It's more than that Ned, this income, this land, is safety, a place to call home should Edric choose to remove us from Starfall when he comes of age." She paused, her excitement replaced by fear. "But Ned if he... if anyone learns the truth..."
"No one can, not ever. Even now with him so favored by the King." He studied her thoughtfully, recalling her letter. "In your letter you mentioned having a conversation with Alys about Jon. Does she know?"
"Please Ned, don't ask me to answer that, not here, not now."
He ran a hand through his hair, and realized the truth. "Why? Why did you tell her?"
"Why? Because my sons were at war, in danger of death and she asked questions for which I had no answers… and I broke. Now please, let the matter rest, she will say nothing of it."
"How can you be so certain?"
"Because, unlike you, I know our daughter," she snapped.
He turned from her, shaking his head. "And do you know how it is for her to hold a secret from the ones she loves most? You and I have held such secrets and know the weight of them. You know what it feels like to hold that within you, having it eat at you. Do you know her enough to believe that she won't tell Jon?"
Aghast, she stared at him. "I... I don't know."
"I will speak with her tomorrow." His response was grave, but a soft smile slowly emerged, easing the hardness of his face. "I would like to meet with all of them tomorrow."
She smiled back, still rather fretful. "I think that is a wonderful idea Ned." She yawned, resting against the wall again. "All of our talking has wearied me further." She gazed distastefully back toward the banquet hall.
"Please, if you are not angry with me, allow me to escort you back. From what you have said, Oberyn might seek to fray your mood more this evening if he is your escort."
Yawning again, she nodded in agreement. "He would try to infuriate me if he walked me to my rooms, and our being out here alone for so long likely already has tongues wagging." She smirked at him. "Let them talk, for they shall find no basis to their rumors."
She turned resolutely and walked with him from the balcony, back into the hall, and then out of the hall toward the entry of Maegor's Holdfast. They spoke little until they were walking through the courtyards which led to their respective chambers. She was the one to break the longest lull in their conversation.
"Do you remember that statue," she asked as they walked along the serpentine steps.
He turned to see the statue to which she was referring, and laughed lightly at the sight. The knight stood tall and proud, with one hand upon a spear and the other hand... missing. "I have been living here for nearly a year and yet somehow I have scarcely noticed it. Yes, I do remember. I don't think that anyone else knows why Prince Baelor Breakspear's hand is broken, or that the pieces lie hidden in the bushes."
She giggled. "Serves me right for trying to walk along the edge of the wall."
"The Prince broke your fall splendidly."
"And I broke his hand splendidly." Laughing, she shook her head. "I don't think that I ever told Elia or even Arthur."
"Why were you walking along the wall to begin with? I don't believe I ever learned the answer to that question."
"I believe that I was trying to attract your attention."
It had worked. That was the day Ned and Ashara had truly begun speaking, so many years past. He bowed his head solemnly, and let the matter drop, choosing to walk quietly again. Becoming reacquainted with Ashara seemed to be a battle between avoiding pain and anger. She didn't seem to mind the silence, and seemed more at ease beside him. As they walked, she would occasionally lean into him, exhaustion clear in every movement she made. He didn't mind her closeness, though he was wary of being too close with her, it wasn't a wise idea.
Eventually, they arrived at the doors to the Maidenvault. He released her arm, which he had been holding throughout most of their walk. "I can make it to my rooms from here," she said with a heavy yawn. "Thank you, for your company. You mentioned wanting to see the children tomorrow?"
"For the midday meal," he replied. "I will send a messenger in the morning. Sleep well my lady."
"And you Ned." He expected her to turn and enter the building; instead she embraced him and kissed his cheek quickly. "Sleep well."
When she was inside the building, he turned and walked toward the Tower of the Hand. He entered the tower, exhausted from the day. Then he walked up the long, winding stairs toward the upper rooms. He came to Catelyn's door and turned to door handle, finding the chamber unlocked, he entered. To his surprise, she was still awake. She was seated at the head of the bed, reading a book by candlelight.
"You're still awake."
She looked up at him, a wan smile on her lips. "I couldn't sleep."
He walked to her, and sat beside her on the bed. "I'm sorry." It seemed to be an evening of apologies. "I did need to speak with the lords at the feast, we discussed that earlier today."
She laid aside her book. "I know, it is not the lords whose presence so disturbs my thoughts." He reached for her, holding her small, cold hands with his own. "You watched her most of the evening. I... Ned I cannot endure this again."
He squeezed her hands. "I love you, my sweet Cat. While I cannot change the past, I can continue to work toward the future which we are building together. I was startled to see Lady Ashara so soon after her arrival, and spent much of the evening thinking upon many matters about which she and I needed to speak. I did speak with her, and it was not a particularly pleasant experience for either of us, given her anger at my not seeing the children since they were very young."
She pulled her hands from him. "What did she expect? That you would leave Winterfell to visit them?"
"She expected that I would send for them." Her lips pressed tight together at his response. "I never did send for them, and I will not lie and say that I am glad of that decision. I regret never having sent for them. I will be introducing the children to one another formally tomorrow and I will allow Ashara's children to visit this tower whenever they desire. I will no longer allow the children to be kept from me."
"As you will my lord." She looked away from him, withdrawn.
"Cat..."
"What more should I say Ned? I know that I have no voice in these matters."
Stricken, he couldn't speak for some time. "Have I ever given you cause to believe that you have no say in our lives? I admit that I have made many poor and thoughtless choices, but I have tried to do what is best for you and our children. However, I also have four children apart from you for whom I am responsible, and I must think of them."
"I know," she said quietly.
He held out his arms to her. "Please my love, let me hold you."
Slowly, she moved and settled against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, breathing her scent and holding her close. "I am sorry, for all the pain I have caused you. I know that you fear what her children might do, but if they grow close to one another, it will be for the better and not the worse."
"It's not her children I fear," she murmured against his chest. "It's you." She looked up at him, pained. "You have forsaken our marriage vows for her more than once. How can I not fear that you will again?"
He raised a hand and gently cupped her cheek. "I have given you no reason to trust me regarding her. However, I will not allow myself to be in compromising situations with her. I know that she and I will have to have many conversations with one another, but you will always know when I am meeting with her. And wherever she and I speak will be public. I will hide nothing from you, just as I will tell you that I walked her to the doors of the Maidenvault tonight while we spoke. I will not dishonor you again."
She was quiet for a long time before she yawned, utterly spent. "We should sleep." He looked to her, uncertain if she wanted him to stay or go. "Stay with me," she said gently. "I don't think that I will sleep if you leave."
He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "I will always be here when you need me."