Transcendence

by TwilightMomofTwo

Edward realized in NM that he couldn't live without Bella. Forces previously unleashed are again threatening Bella's life. He must do everything he can to keep her safe - from the menace lurking in the shadows, and himself. This is Eclipse expanded. EPOV. On Hiatus, will not be finished.

21. Penitence

Author's Note: As before, due to the nature of this fan fiction, conversations and dialogue from 'Eclipse' for which both Edward and Bella are present together, or for which Edward is eavesdropping, have been faithfully incorporated into this story. All other dialogue, conversations and events are made up. Edward's thoughts are my own, though they are naturally based on the Twilight Saga.

This 21st chapter is called "Penitence". Bella traps Edward into agreeing to stay with her during the fight. I wrote about her dreams and their subsequent conversation, and then Edward (my muse) decided this would be a good time to have his long overdue talk with Jasper.

In the end, it became mammooth - over 30 pages, nearly 24K words, which explains the unusual length between updates. Sorry about that.

A HUGE THANK YOU to all who have read and reviewed the fruits of my labor of love. Please do continue to show me the love.

Please remember that this story is rated M for a reason. If you have sensitive eyes that don't deal well with the occasional cuss word or a little bit of lemonade, this story is not for you.

Disclaimer: This is Fan Fiction, people! The fabulous Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight, and I am not she. I'm just living her stories, vicariously through Edward's eyes. All the time. Day and night.

"Give me all of your dreams, and let me go along on your way."

Meatloaf – Heaven can wait

21. Penitence

Daybreak.

I was carrying Bella in my arms as I ran with her through the forest under the pale light of the breaking dawn, feeling certain that she was too exhausted to keep her grip around me for our usual running style.

We had said a quick good-bye to my family and Jacob Black. After our conversation about my plans for Bella during the newborn fight, he had shifted back to wolf and left with his two friends, though not before promising to be back the next night for another round of practice.

My tentative feeling of comradeship hadn't lasted very long when his thoughts turned to longing, and he remembered the feel of Bella's body in his arms while had carried her earlier. The image shifted, and he relived the moment he had forced his mouth on her lips. My jealousy had raged, and it had taken quite a bit of control to keep my possessive growls from erupting. But I had managed. Barely.

For Bella.

Everything I did these days, every thought I had – it was all for Bella. I could deny her nothing, and I knew it. I was just glad that she did not have that insight, or I'd be in serious trouble. Though lately, I had seen glimpses that seemed to point towards a subconscious knowledge – it was like she knew my pressure points, for lack of a better word. When she had threatened me with calling her furry friend, were I to leave her at home for the practice – that had been one of the indications that perhaps she was on the verge of realizing just what kind of power she had over me.

God help me.

While I had initially felt thoroughly sucker-punched by her threat, I had seen the flash of self-disgust on her face when she'd said it. She had known full well what mentioning the stinking dog would do to me, and she had felt guilty for bringing him up. She was usually so selfless, so hellbent on putting everyone else's needs first, so averse to hurting the people she loved, that I was quite astounded at her, for having played me the way she did.

On the other hand, after I had gotten over my initial reaction of fury and hurt, it had also been somewhat refreshing to see her put herself first, no matter the method. I found that I actually rather liked this ruthless part of her, as it matched my own. She should give more priority to her own needs, voicing them to me, and I would gladly meet them. I wondered if she would provide more opportunities such as this one. Perhaps there was a way to encourage that. It would certainly be easier for me to give her what she needed, what she asked for, than having to guess at it and then failing because I couldn't read her as well as I thought.

Bella was fast asleep even before we reached her house, as I had expected. I jumped up to her open window, and carefully climbed into her room, mindful not to bump her body against the frame. As I stood in her room, I was facing a small dilemma – did I want to wake her up to change into her night clothes, should I attempt to remove the jeans and shirt myself, and be faced with her undergarments and exposed to more bare, creamy, soft skin than I could possibly handle or ever deserve to see, or should I let her sleep in what she was already wearing?

I quickly decided that waking her was out of the equation – she was so deeply asleep, it felt like blasphemy to disturb this glorious angel in her slumber. That left option two and three. The gentleman in me argued that it would be an utter outrage to remove the clothing of a lady without her permission, while my more sensible side pointed out that she would likely be rather uncomfortable in the fairly tight jeans and too warm flannel shirt.

The carnal monster licked its lips, sensing possible debauchery while agreeing with my sensible side, and performed a test-rattle on his cage. The reinforced steel bars held which made him none too happy.

Too damn bad. Go back to your corner, pervert.

In the end, I settled for a happy medium. I took off her shoes and socks, ignored the jeans completely, and very, very carefully opened two shirt buttons, averting my eyes from what lay beneath, and sniffed carefully.

Ah, cotton.

Fortunately for me, she was wearing a simple v-necked t-shirt underneath, so her skin was no more exposed than usual. Except for possibly her elegant throat, which was beautifully elongated by the cutout on the shirt, but I was long past that particular temptation. Though the fire flared when I inhaled her scent, saw her blood pulsing underneath the translucent skin, bloodlust was no longer a concern. No matter how thirsty I was, her precious blood would never tempt me again.

The intensity of the burning thirst in my throat, the fire that raked through me whenever her scent filled my nostrils, had been transcended by a very different kind of lust of unparalleled intensity – that of a man for the woman he loves with his whole heart. Something I had never felt before, not until the moment I met Bella. It filled me completely, it was burned into every cell of my body, and it was barely containable. Each moment I spend with her, I had to remind myself that her human fragility, comparable to silk stretched over a soap bubble, was requiring the most concentrated effort whenever I touched her, so as not to break her. Never would I be able to lose control – not whilst she was human. Once she was changed, however – I grimaced at the thought. For purely selfish reasons, for wanting her so badly, I could hardly wait to make her mine forever, in every sense of the word; I was unable to rein in my anticipation for that day to come.

If only I could be sure it wouldn't cost her what it had cost me; if only I was as convinced as Carlisle that we did not lose our souls in the fiery pain of the transformation. Either way, it was too late for me – monstrous murderers such as I were not welcome in heaven, no matter how I conducted myself for the rest of my existence. But to risk hers, her beautiful, kind, innocent soul – it would be the most selfish thing I'd ever do. With Bella, I had gotten a taste of paradise, and it had made me a glutton for more. If I could be with her until the end of time, I would not need heaven. And even if that wish should be granted, it would not be enough time spent in her presence.

Selfish, always so selfish.

With a sigh, I gently ran a cold fingertip along the edges of the shirt, and watched the goosebumps appear in its wake, the texture of her skin tingling under the pad of my finger. It did look so very enticing, the soft skin so luminescent, and for a moment, I thought about licking her exposed skin, tasting her, from the point of the 'V' at her breastbone to the hollow of her throat. I instantly chastised myself for having such disgraceful and disrespectful thoughts, and fought the sudden desire back into its confines.

Grateful that I would not be compromising her virtue, I slowly peeled the flannel shirt off of her before putting her underneath the covers and settling next to her. I pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her into my arms, burying my nose in her hair, ignoring the flames in the back of my throat, and the venom that threatened to flood my mouth. Her luscious fragrance engulfed me. I inhaled a deep, unnecessary, and simultaneously vital, breath.

"I love you, Bella, so much. Good night, my sweet girl."

Bella slept through it all. I hoped she wouldn't question my motives in the morning. Or afternoon, as I didn't think she'd be waking any time soon.

The practice session had gone fairly well – the wolves had been relatively collected and learned a thing or two from Jasper's demonstrations. They had also begun to trust us a little more – at least up to the point where they were no longer hovering on the verge of an immediate attack. Especially Esme – some of them had looked at her fighting against Jasper, and felt protective of her. It had been quite an experience for all of the wolves. Perhaps, after the newborn fight, we would have an opportunity to form a stronger alliance, and, though it seemed utterly fantastical, perhaps Carlisle would be able to renegotiate the treaty; gain their permission to change Bella.

Change Bella? What are you saying? Do you want her to change?

No, of course not!

Well... maybe.

Okay, fine. Yes, I do.

I shook my head. I was losing my mind. Arguing with myself got me nowhere.

Focus! Treaty. Carlisle.

No, I didn't think it possible. Their whole existence was rooted in protecting human life, and Bella's change, though her choice, would seem to them as if she were going to die. They would never allow it. As Bella had relayed herself, the dog had even told her so – that he'd rather she be dead than change into one of us. The flea-ridden mongrel had obviously forgotten that it had been his interference which had necessitated the one thing I hadn't wanted for her – if he'd just handed the phone to Bella, as would have been appropriate considering he'd been in her house, when I called from Rio to confirm Rosalie's bombshell, I wouldn't have run off to Italy like an utter fool in my misguided attempt to end my own existence, and the Volturi wouldn't know about Bella's knowledge of us, and therefore she wouldn't feel so pressured into going through with the transformation.

Hmm. Not a bad thought – perhaps I can use that against him next time he tries to obnoxiously lay claim to her.

I shook my head again. Even I didn't buy my convoluted reasoning. The blame for that debacle had to be laid at my doorstep, plain and simple – if I hadn't so foolishly left Bella in the first place, if I hadn't been so ridiculously arrogant, none of this would have happened. Still – for a moment, it felt quite good to lay part of the blame at his rather large, furry feet.

At the same time, I felt guilty for thinking that way. Though I continued to be apprehensive about leaving Bella with one of their still unexperienced pack mates, Jacob Black had after all come up with an acceptable plan to keep Bella safe, which had been quite a surprise considering his more recent, imbecile behavior, and I should feel grateful, not jealous. I simply couldn't help myself – I hated his role in this whole scenario, hated his friendship with Bella, hated his place in her life. I could let him fight for us, with us even, but the role of her protector and caretaker should be mine, and mine alone.

My mind drifted off, cursing against the vicious hag of fate that continued to throw obstacles into our path. My burning thirst I had conquered, pushed it into the darkest, deepest pits of my being, never to be let out again, but that had only been the first obstacle. Then came the sadistic James, and his little hunting game, which had almost resulted in her death. Next Jasper lost control at a single drop of blood. I wondered for a second if my own flaring thirst at seeing and smelling that small drop had hit him and exacerbated his reaction to it, but it was fleeting, something I would need to consider at another time. Perhaps that might also explain why his control was so much better around her lately. I filed the thought away in one of the deep recesses of my mind, to be revisited at at a later time.

Either way, even after we had left, Bella had still been in grave peril, first from Laurent, who met his own deserved demise at the teeth of the wolves, and then Victoria. Two of the wicked trio were dead and would never haunt us again, and with a little luck, I'd be taking care of the last of their evil triumvirate very soon.

I longed for peace, for quiet, for a time of tranquility where Bella and I would not have to face any more dangers or lame-brained puppies, intent on tearing us apart, and instead could be allowed to just revel in our love, experience new things together and become closer than we'd ever been. What other obstacles did we have to overcome before we could reach our happily-ever-after? Was that even a possibility? Would there be yet another roadblock in the future, trying to derail us and our love for each other?

I had no answers.

I took a deep breath to clear my mind. There were more important things to take care of, to plan for.

I needed to come up with a strategy to get Bella to my house for the weekend, first for the night to Friday, and then to lay the false trail to the clearing and hide her Friday night. We knew the approximate time frame for the arrival of the newborns, but that could still change quickly, and I wanted to take Bella to the hiding spot the night before. My family would go hunting Thursday night and would not return until we were ready to lay the trap. That meant that there was an opportunity for me to spend some time, a whole night, and half a day, alone with Bella in my house. Just her and me. Alone.

I needed some time with her, even if it would be just for a few hours. Everything had been so stressful lately, and we never had time to ourselves, to talk, to hold each other, to just be. I felt ashamed to admit even only to myself how much I needed her, needed to touch her, kiss her, hold her in my arms, though I had to keep my more deviant desires under control. Even my misbehaving manhood would not be allowed to gain the upper hand, though lately it seemed it had developed a mind of its own.

It didn't matter. The lustful monster had been tightly locked up, the boundaries were firmly in place.

I decided that I would ask Alice for help with the arrangements for Bella to spend the nights. If anyone could convince Charlie to give his permission, it would be Alice. He was putty in her hands, as she had put it quite succinctly, ever since she had taken care of Bella while my love had been in a cast after the incident in Phoenix.

Shortly thereafter, Charlie's breathing became shallower and I knew he was waking up. After he used the facilities, his thoughts shifted to Bella, and I had plenty of time to hide in the closet while he peeked into her room. Once he saw her sleeping in the bed, he chuckled at her prone form, muttered a sentence about partying too hard, and closed the door again. A fraction of a second later, I was back in bed with Bella, and heard him amble down the stairs for his morning coffee.

Just a few more weeks. Summer will be over soon.

At least, that was what I told myself. After the summer, we'd be in Dartmouth. Together. No more dropping her off with her distrusting father. Finally, we'd be on our own, going to college, living together in the same house, sharing a bedroom, sharing our lives.

To say I was looking forward to that time would have been an understatement.

The sleeptalking began soon after Charlie left for work. "Edward... love you... need... Edward... "

I chuckled – she had no filter when she spoke in her sleep, didn't edit her words. It was the closest I could come to reading her mind. And my name passed through her luscious lips often, and each time, it warmed my frozen heart.

She was silent again. I pulled out my cell phone to call Alice.

"Alice," I said when she picked up. "Have you all made it home yet?"

"Carlisle and Esme went ahead, but we're still out here. Emmett and Jasper are still going at it – you know how Emmett is... he isn't quite over being shown up so he's been trying to adjust his style... it's not going too well, but I guess he's getting there. Jasper has already outmaneuvered him again about a hundred times... "

She giggled as I laughed.

"Rosalie is snarling at Emmett from the sidelines. She wants to go home and shower, get the stench out, she said. I think she's overreacting just a bit. I mean, those dogs do stink a lot, but it's not too bad now that they've left. She's just fed up with Emmett, I think and it's making her... Oops, I think she heard that. Sorry, Rose!" Alice called out to our sister, and giggled again. I could hear Rosalie's hiss of outrage through the phone.

I laughed again. "Don't make her mad. Listen, Alice – I was wondering if you could do something for me. I'd like Bella to..."

"Yes, yes... spend a long weekend, have a sleepover," the little pixie interrupted me. "I saw when you decided. I'll arrange for it as soon as possible. Charlie won't be a problem. Will you tell Bella your plan beforehand?"

"I was actually hoping to wait until you've gotten permission from Charlie before I tell her about it."

"Your funeral pyre," Alice quipped.

"What do you mean?" I demanded hotly.

"Well, I'm sure you remember last time you made that decision for her and kidnapped her, don't you?"

"Yes, I remember," I growled into the phone, "but unlike last time, I now have Bella's explicit permission to kidnap her any time I want to. She said so herself."

So there, you annoying little psychic. Didn't know that, did you?

I felt rather smug when Alice was silent for a few of Bella's heartbeats.

"Oh, well, in that case," she said when she found her voice again, "I guess there's no problem."

"I don't believe there will be," I retorted, making my voice more confident than I actually felt. "I think she'll be rather pleased when she finds out. Just make sure Charlie believes I'll be gone the whole weekend. I don't think he'd allow it otherwise."

"Gee, Edward – I figured that out all by myself." With that, she hung up.

I sighed and put the phone away. I often wondered how someone so diminutive could possibly be to enormously aggravating.

"No... wait... wait... Jasper... too fast." Bella was moving next to me, restless, her hand gripping my shirt, and the heat of her skin on my stone chest was electrifying.

I was a little puzzled, though, at first. What was Jasper doing in her dream, I wondered. The mumbled words didn't make a lot of sense, but then I thought back to her disastrous eighteenth birthday. In that context – could she be dreaming of that day? Before the guilt could overwhelm me, she spoke again.

"Trees... can't see... too many... where... Edward... " Her hand clenched on my shirt, and she moved her head back and forth where it lay in the crook of my arm. The dream seemed to frighten her. Bella's heartbeat was racing and her breathing had become faster.

Now the guilt really did overwhelm me. She was dreaming of that horrid afternoon, when I had so foolishly left her. My heart constricted with the anguish of having caused her so much pain, with my terrible lies, my callous disregard of her feelings, making a unilateral decision for the both of us. No matter how my frozen heart had shattered at leaving her, no matter how I had grieved and wailed at this bitter fate during my time without her, the wounds I had inflicted upon her were much, much worse. I would never be able to make it up to her, but I would spend the rest of my existence trying.

"Bella, I'm here, I'm here, my love. I'll never leave again," I desperately whispered to soothe her.

"Nooo... must help... be there... clearing... damn trees... too dark... "

Oh. Perhaps she wasn't dreaming what I thought she was dreaming. This latest snippet didn't match at all with my assumption. I felt a little bit better, though the guilt didn't completely evaporate. I did not think it ever would.

It seemed that Jasper's inappropriate suggestion had taken root in her subconscious, like I had feared it would.

Damn him for bringing that up.

I briefly wondered when Alice would call me with reports of a vision of Bella running towards the clearing. Surely, she would see as soon as Bella made a conscious decision.

"Third wife... help... Edward... monsters... "

I had no idea what that was supposed to mean. A third wife? Whose wife? This was utterly bizarre.

"Edward." Her eyes snapped open, searching, her hand tugging on my shirt.

"Sweetheart, what is it? I'm right here."

"'kay," she mumbled and the pale, lavender lids closed over her chocolate orbs again, long, dark lashes fluttering against her cheeks. So beautiful. So extraordinarily beautiful.

I pulled her closer against me as her breathing became deep again. She was silent for a while, but after about an hour, the dreams seemingly continued.

Abruptly, she was thrashing against me. "Nooo... ," she nearly yelled. "Wait... Edward... need to find Edward... stop... "

I tried to soothe her by rubbing her arm. "Shh, Bella, my love, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here."

It didn't help. Her hand gripped my shirt so hard, I heard the seams groan under the strength of her tug.

"Jasper, wait... I want to go... find Edward... so dark... trees... "

The picture became clearer – this appeared to be the same, or at least a similar dream as the one she'd had earlier. I sighed and kept talking to her, reassuring her that all was well, gently rubbing her arm with my hand. The dreams continued in much the same fashion. Occasionally, her eyes would snap open, she'd look at me as if in a panic, and then fall back asleep. The talking continued in much the same fashion.

Bella had been asleep for nearly ten hours, and for most of that time, was restlessly moving in my arms. An hour and fourteen minutes before she woke, her small form finally relaxed a little and her dreams seemed to change into something more pleasant.

Much more pleasant.

"Mmm, Edward... " she moaned with her head pressed against my side. The vibration of the moan sent electric sparks directly to my groin, and my manhood twitched as if shocked to life. I braced myself for the onslaught of my raging lust for her. Bella's leg darted out from under the cover and wedged in between my own, as she pulled herself ever closer.

"Yes... Edward... hmm... kiss me... "

I smiled and bent my head down to kiss her nose.

"Is it a nice dream now, Bella?" I whispered before I realized it, and as she had sometimes before, Bella answered me in her sleep.

"Mmm, yes... more... need more... Edward... want you..."

Sweet heaven.

I could taste the sudden, musky scent of her arousal in the air, and I breathed it in greedily, as my pants became tight, and I had to fight my growing erection. The beast rattled his chains, but I would not give in.

You can't make me.

"Oh, sweetheart, how I wish I could give you what you're asking for... how I wish I could touch you and make love to you with abandon." I was whispering before I noticed what I was doing, but then I didn't have it in me to stop. I lusted for her, and she was deeply asleep, dreaming of me, and this was one way it would be safe, as long as I could keep my depraved urges under control, and my hands to myself. My left hand, without direction from my brain, adjusted my painfully throbbing member in the confines of my pants.

Bella ground her heated center into my leg, rubbing against me, creating friction which ignited a fire I was barely able to withstand. A long, soft moan escaped her lips.

"Edward..."

Holy shit.

I closed my eyes, and allowed myself to fantasize about touching her, kissing her, tasting her in places that were forbidden to me until she became my wife. The images quickly became too much. The intensity of my feelings were starting to overwhelm me, tearing and pulling on my tenuous grip on what I knew was the right thing to do. I desperately tried to hang on to my last shreds of self-control, before I did something incredibly stupid.

"Dream of something else, please. That, or wake up... " I mumbled, wishing I could give her what she wanted, wishing I could make love to her while she was still human. After we were wed, of course. I'd marry her tomorrow if that's what she wanted. I was weak, greedy and nearly out of my mind with need for her.

Bella rubbed herself against my leg, and my raging desire for her, fed by the heat and dampness I could feel emanating from her womanly center, became utterly unbearable. Hearing her breathless moan of pleasure made me nearly lose my mind. There was no longer any doubt in my mind that Bella's subconscious wanted exactly what the perverted deviant inside me desired.

Oh, holy mother of God... move, Edward, move...

I quickly extricated myself from her and sat in her rocking chair, to metaphorically catch my breath, and didn't notice for a moment that I was stroking myself through my pants.

I wish this was her hot little hand.

Stop that, you despicable pervert.

The wooden armrests creaked and protested under my fingers as I grabbed them hastily, and I had to ease up on my grip before pulverizing the wood. Bella made a mewling noise in her sleep when she subconsciously realized I'd left the bed, but the dream carried on, and it took every ounce of restraint I had not to join her again in that soft haven, surround and sheath myself within her, and make her dream the reality.

A reality I wanted to dream about, but even if I could, a dream it would remain. For her and for me. I had nearly crashed and burned more times than I cared to count, and I dared not add another by giving in to the desires that she had set loose.

Not until she's changed. After she marries me.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I could not quite decide which, Bella's breathing became shallower after a final gasp of her pleasure, the kind that I had to deny her again and again, and I knew she was getting close to waking up.

Another thirty-two long minutes passed until she finally woke.

Bella's eyelids fluttered, long, dark lashes brushed against her cheeks once more, and she yawned daintily. Stretching her nimble limbs, pale, bare arms over her head, her gorgeous, slim legs outlined under the covers, toes curling, her back arching up, exposing the soft swell of her breasts where the covers had slipped down – a view so sensual and erotic, it made my breath hitch in my throat – her hands began to search for the cold body she expected next to her.

"Edward?" My name tumbled from her lips. I was out of the chair and next to her instantly, lacing my fingers with hers.

"Are you really awake this time?" I whispered.

"Mmm," she sighed, and her hot breath washed over me. "Have there been a lot of false alarms?"

"You've been very restless," I answered honestly, "talking all day."

"All day?" Bella blinked in disbelief and her gaze turned towards the window, and the cloud-covered skies.

"You had a long night," I reminded her, suppressing a quiet chuckle. "You'd earned a day in bed."

She sat up too quickly, and swayed for a moment. My hand went to her lower back, trying to steady her.

"Wow," she exclaimed. I heard a small gurgle from her stomach.

"Hungry?" I asked her with a smile. "Would you like breakfast in bed?" My mind flashed rapidly through the contents of the refrigerator and cupboards in the kitchen below. Due to my egregious lack of cooking ability, all I would be able to offer her was cold cereal with milk, or an equally cold, cardboard-looking Pop-tart. Neither was a healthy choice, or so I had been led to believe.

I promised myself that when this whole newborn situation was over, and the threat on her life removed, I would immerse myself in some more of the cooking shows on the Food Network channel, Emmett and his affinity for sports shows be damned.

Bella was human, and as her boyfriend and future husband, if she would but agree to marry me, I should know how to take care of all her human needs – shouldn't I? I chastised myself for not having done so sooner. Again, I was failing her by not meeting my responsibility as her caretaker.

Bella was unaware of my internal musings, and groaned, "I'll get it."

She stretched again, and I was fascinated by the way she innocently arched her back, which in turn put the gentle swell of her mounds into my immediate focus. Again. I inhaled sharply, but she thankfully didn't notice.

"I need to get up and move around," she said when she was done stretching, and I could breathe normally again.

I gently moved the covers back, and she slowly climbed out of bed, grabbing the proffered flannel shirt from my hand. She did not question her current state of dishabille, nor did she ask who had removed her shoes and socks. Or the shirt. I knew not whether she assumed she had done so herself, or if she didn't want to ask for fear of embarrassing herself, or me.

I held her hand tightly in mine, as we walked down the stairs together, watching her intently, wondering if she would tell me about her dreams – at least the one in which she seemed to be chasing Jasper, running through the forest. I was a little concerned that Alice hadn't called yet to warn me, but in a way, I was glad for it. It likely meant that Bella had not yet decided on a course of action, and was only subconsciously disagreeing with my plans to keep her away from the fight.

I silently ranted against Jasper once more, whose brilliant military mind had planted this seed in her brain. If only he had kept his idea to himself, this errant thought, as he had derided it, after my murderous glare caught his eye, and my sudden fury brushed against him.

Down in the kitchen, Bella opened a package of those nasty-looking Pop-tarts, and stuck them in the toaster. She must have glimpsed herself in the shiny chrome of the appliance because she suddenly exclaimed, "Ugh, I'm a mess."

She had never looked more beautiful.

"It was a long night," I reminded her gently yet again, unable to keep the chastisement out of my voice. "You should have stayed here and slept."

And not seen the wolves, and not fraternized with that rotten mongrel, and not have his disgusting tongue lick your face, and not hear Jasper's stupid suggestion. Alas, she went, because I could deny her nothing, not even when it was clearly to her detriment.

"Right! And missed everything," Bella retorted. "You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I'm part of the family now."

A smile broke out on my face at her words, and I wondered if she was getting closer to finally accepting my proposal, botched as it had been. "I could probably get used to that idea," I told her, knowing that it would be the culmination of my heart's desire to have her carry the family name Carlisle had bestowed upon me so long ago. I was proud to be a Cullen, and would be prouder still when Bella's last name finally matched mine.

When her breakfast was ready, she sat down at the table, and I used the chair across from her. As she lifted the now hot cardboard to her lips, I registered the silver bracelet dangling from her wrist, a tiny, carved wolf its lone adornment. Anger flared at the visual reminder of the mutt's place in her life, jealousy sparked a new fire, that slowly burned to infernal proportions. With much effort, I doused the flames, by putting the truth of my epiphany firmly at the forefront of my mind.

"May I?" I asked her permission while slowly reaching for the charm the stinking animal had carved for her.

Bella swallowed the food in her mouth before answering. "Um, sure."

I saw fleeting expressions on her face as I balanced the wooden charm in my palm. Her heart skipped a beat, and it coincided with a flash of fear on her features, and a fraction of a second later, her breathing restarted. I wondered what she was afraid of. Did she think I would destroy this symbol of their friendship? The thought alone brought back the fire, and I was appalled that she would think me so callous.

Guilty embarrassment crossed her features shortly thereafter, and it seemed that while I had guessed right at her thoughts, she was also aware that I had noticed. I kept my face smooth, and did not allow my eyes to show anything but love for her, thinking of Alice's words, encouraging me to tell Bella how I felt.

Perhaps I should use this opportunity to obtain an answer to one of my more pressing question – why was I not allowed to buy her anything, why were presents from me forbidden. It had long irked me that everyone was able to give her whatever they wanted – except for me. I had not forgotten the conniption fit she had thrown on her eighteenth birthday, and even before, adamant about not receiving any gifts. She didn't even want it mentioned that it was her birthday that day, and I had grudgingly given in, my sole gift to her a CD of my compositions, starting with her lullaby.

I started gently with a simple statement of fact. "Jacob Black can give you presents."

She looked at me, searching my eyes, and I struggled to keep my expression smooth. The bracelet itself actually presented me with an opportunity to give her one of the few things I had inherited from my human parents, something I'd been wanting to gift her with for a long time. I'd been hesitant, because it would have required a necklace, which she would likely refuse, I knew that, but the diamond heart could just as easily be put on that bracelet. Now all I had to do was persuade her to wear it. Perhaps I could guilt her into accepting it. Unwittingly, she played right into my hands with her answer to my question.

"You've given me presents," she said with a small shrug of her shoulders, as if that were justification enough. "You know I like the homemade kind."

As long as it didn't cost any money, was the insinuation. I wondered if she realized that the bracelet wasn't homemade, and that Jacob had purchased it for her, cheap though as it was. Either way – it was now or never, as I pursed my lips to pretend I was thinking about my next move. "How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable?"

"What do you mean?"

"This bracelet," I said, tracing the silver links with my fingers, twitching towards the wooden symbol he had bestowed upon her, wanting to crush it, knowing I couldn't. "You'll be wearing this a lot?" I finished my question.

Bella shrugged dismissively but I was not fooled.

"Because you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings," I said suggestively.

"Sure, I guess so," she agreed half-heartedly, and I could almost taste victory on my tongue.

"Don't you think it's fair, then," I asked her, turning her hand to face up, and slowly ran a finger along the blue veins in her wrist, feeling her thumping pulse under the pad of my finger, "if I have a little representation?"

"Representation?" she repeated with a questioning look.

"A charm – something to keep me on your mind," I said, keeping my voice even.

"You're in every thought I have," Bella assured me quickly. "I don't need reminders."

I wondered if it had escaped her notice that she had yet to answer the actual question. Perhaps I needed to be clearer. "If I gave you something, would you wear it?"

I felt utterly ridiculous at having to ask – I had wanted to shower her with gifts, but she wouldn't hear of it. I thought back to the cell phone and how she had taken that simple gesture and thrown it in my face.

"A hand-me-down?" Bella asked for clarification. The look on her face gave her away. I smiled widely.

"Yes, something I've had for a while."

"Whatever makes you happy," Bella said with a small shrug but I saw the flash of contrition, then relief on her face.

I simply didn't understand the processes of her silent mind. While I certainly hadn't expected a more enthusiastic answer, her response to the dog's gift had been much more heartfelt. Suddenly, I was tired of the games. I just wanted some answers.

"Have you noticed the inequality?" I asked her, unable to keep the pain at this injustice out of my voice. "Because I certainly have."

"What inequality?"

Did she truly not know? My eyes narrowed as the bitter jealousy bubbled out of me. "Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn't. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That's utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?"

Her expression was calm, despite my outburst, and it puzzled me. What explanation would she give me? What were the workings of her silent mind that could possibly make sense of this grievous disparity?

"Easy," she shrugged dismissively. "You're more important than everyone else. And you've given me you. That's already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance."

What? That was utterly absurd. She had it completely backwards. It was I, the atrocious monster, who did not deserve her, an angel so pure and kind and gentle – not the other way around. She did get one thing right, though – I was hers, completely, eternally. But she deserved so much better. I rolled my eyes at her.

"The way you regard me is ludicrous."

Bella kept chewing on her Pop-tart and watched me, a serene look on her face. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I checked the screen and wondered if this was the call I had been anticipating ever since Bella's dreams, as I flipped it open.

"What is it, Alice?"

"You can start by asking Bella what the hell she's thinking, planning to put herself in danger," Alice snapped immediately. "You won't like hearing this, Edward. Bella has no intention of staying put where you are planning to hide her. I saw her stumbling through the forest, looking for you. I told her last night that I would warn you if her plans became any more defined."

Bella's heartbeat sped up and she averted her eyes. A flash of guilt crossed her lovely features, and I sighed. Yes, this was the call I'd been expecting. Alice kept talking.

"And by the way, don't blame Jasper for this. She had this ridiculous idea long before he made his ill-advised suggestion last night. I've been getting glimpses of something like this for a week, but it is much clearer now. You can't allow her to do this." I sighed again. Bella wouldn't look at me, and she was suddenly nervously twitching in her chair.

"You need to tell her, Edward. I still have not seen who's behind this, and if that person makes a snap decision to go searching for her, even if her trail is obscured by the mutt, we may not have enough time to get to her. You know I won't be able to see her since you'll be leaving her with one of those dogs. "

This prompted another sigh. While I'd be connected to Seth via the doggy telepathy, Alice would not be able to see ahead. But Seth was strong, though inexperienced. I'd thought about that last night, and I wasn't quite as happy with the plan as I perhaps should have been.

"I guessed as much," I told Alice when she took a breath. "She was talking in her sleep." Bella's eyes had snapped up at me, when I said that, and I looked at her firmly, my brow cocked. She flushed crimson. My little sister was not quite finished.

"There is some good news – their number is down to nineteen. Seems like one of them got into a fight with another, and... well, you can imagine how that ended. But back to Bella. As I said – if she goes through with her little plan, she won't make it to the clearing, and simply get lost in the forest. You must dissuade her, you hear me?"

"I'll take care of it," I promised her, shutting the phone and glaring at the glorious creature in front of me. The one who'd risk her own life out of selflessness. I was in awe of her foolish bravery, and asked myself again how I could ever deserve this glorious woman.

No matter – it was not going to happen. I would not let it happen.

"Is there something you'd like to talk to me about?" I asked her pointedly. Bella dropped her eyes to my chin, and pursed her lips. She seemed to be deliberating what to say. I waited, impatiently tapping my foot.

"I like Jasper's idea," she said defiantly.

I groaned. Of course, she did. Absolutely no sense of self-preservation.

"I want to help. I have to do something," she contended hotly.

"It wouldn't help to have you in danger," I bit back, trying to keep my voice as even as I could manage in light of her stubbornness. She did not falter; instead she threw another argument at me.

"Jasper thinks it would. This is his area of expertise." Her face was serene again, she calmly gazed at me, while I glowered back at her, silently cursing my brother's asinine thought, and the resulting obstinacy I was now fighting against.

Before I had a chance to reply, Bella's facial expression changed. She narrowed her eyes and her brows furrowed as she spat out a threat.

Again.

"You can't keep me away. I'm not going to hide out in the forest while you all take risks for me."

Alice's vision danced in front of my eyes – Bella lost in the wilderness, staring wildly into the shadows of the trees, not knowing which direction to take, searching blindly for the clearing. I fought back a smile, when it dawned on me that Bella's stubborn disregard for her own safety was born out of guilt and fear for us. The urge to smile vanished as I shared my sister's prediction with her, my voice cool and even, willing her mentally to see reason.

"Alice doesn't see you in the clearing, Bella. She sees you stumbling around lost in the woods. You won't be able to find us; you'll just make it more time consuming for me to find you afterward."

I could see how she struggled to erase the obstinacy from her expression and compose her face. Her voice was polite, a slight smile playing around those kissable lips, as she pointed out the inherent flaw of my argument, one that I didn't see until she brought it up.

"That's because Alice didn't factor in Seth Clearwater. If she had, of course, she wouldn't have been able to see anything at all. But it sounds like Seth wants to be there as much as I do. It shouldn't be too hard to persuade him to show me the way."

Anger bubbled inside me. She was testing my patience now, and my temper flared. I took a deep breath to collect myself. Shouting at her served no purpose, and would only make her angry in turn. Or send her running from the room, neither of which I considered the desired outcome of this discussion.

"That might have worked," I said, acknowledging the brilliance of her thought processes, and her near triumph at outmaneuvering me. "If you hadn't told me. Now I'll just ask Sam to give Seth certain orders. Much as he might want to, Seth won't be able to ignore that kind of injunction."

As the Alpha wolf, Sam's voice took on a different timbre when he gave a specific command, one that I had clearly heard last night. Though Paul had been itching for a fight, the alpha command had not allowed him to move. The wolves usually followed Sam's lead naturally, but if one decided to go against the grain, the alpha voice gave them no option but to obey. Bella's face fell momentarily at hearing my counterpoint. She seemingly did not know about that – the mutt apparently had not told her about that aspect of the pack dynamics.

Or had he, and she just hadn't considered it yet? Her next words made me question just what pack secrets the rotten dog had let her in on. If she knew more than she'd let on, I would be rapidly losing ground, and likely end up having to shackle her to the rock surface of her hiding place. She was smiling sweetly at me, and tried in vain to hide the emotions I could clearly see flickering in her expressive eyes, as she threw another challenge at me.

"But why would Sam give those orders? If I tell him how it would help for me to be there? I'll bet Sam would rather do me a favor than you."

Anger surged and composure fled from the advancing fire. I struggled to quench the flames, inhaling deeply, letting her fragrance calm my fury.

The only thing that matters is keeping Bella safe.

This definitive truth helped me regain my composure. I decided to test how much knowledge she truly had, and if the mongrel had told her that he, despite his youth, was only one step below the alpha position in the pack. I knew that I could count on him to give that particular order to Seth, even if, and that was a big if, as I was fairly certain that Sam would be more concerned about Bella's safety than she imagined, he refused to give that command. Jacob Black would not want Bella in danger, of that I was certain – he had clearly been enraged with Jasper's remark last night.

"Maybe you're right," I said evenly and delivered what I hoped to be the final blow to this discussion, effectively ending her ill-advised quest. "But I'm sure Jacob would be only too eager to give those same orders."

Bella's face scrunched up in a frown. "Jacob?"

She didn't know. I was elated at having won this argument, and smiled beatifically. "Jacob is his second in command. Did he never tell you that? His orders have to be followed, too."

Worry lines appeared on Bella's forehead, and she seemed stumped. I used this momentary advantage and distracted her by telling her about the pack dynamics, my voice smooth and soothing. I'd had time to sort through all the thoughts my mind had picked up last night, while I had watched Bella sleep in my arms. Everything I'd absorbed with the part of my brain I had dedicated to the task was stored in the deep crevices of my vampire mind, and I had flipped through the various trains of thought repeatedly, trying to get a better understanding of all of them. It had been more entertaining than All My Children, that long-running series that Esme watched nearly religiously.

"I got a fascinating look into the pack's mind last night. It was better than a soap opera. I had no idea how complex the dynamic is with such a large pack. The pull of the individual against the plural psyche... Absolutely fascinating."

Bella glared at me. She knew me so well, and fully understood that I was attempting to distract her. Her eyes narrowed, a crease appeared between her brows, and if the situation hadn't been so dire, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from ravishing her luscious, pursed lips. Part of me wanted to kiss her so badly, and I nearly leaned down, but I also knew that I had to keep distracting her to get this idea out of her head. I had captured so much last night – so many things none of them had meant for me to hear, each unable to truly hide their thoughts. They all knew I could read their minds, but in their immaturity, they had simply not been experienced enough to clear their minds.

And a large part of me wanted to share as much as I could, just for sharing's sake.

"Jacob's been keeping a lot of secrets." I grinned when she didn't answer and continued to glare at me. She was utterly magnificent – so unafraid, so brave, risking the ire of a vampire. I gave her a moment, to see if she would answer, but she was not forthcoming. I continued my tale.

"For instance, did you notice the smaller gray wolf there last night?"

Bella nodded once, stiffly, grudgingly. I chuckled at her response. "They take all of their legends so seriously. It turns out there are things that none of their stories prepared them for."

She sighed, giving in. "Okay, I'll bite. What are you talking about?"

I smiled at the small victory. "They always accepted without question that it was only the direct grandsons of the original wolf who had the power to transform."

Bella's eyes flickered with interest. "So someone changed who wasn't a direct descendant?"

"No. She's a direct descendant, all right."

Bella blinked and her eyes became round. "She?"

I moved in for the kill. Nodding, I said,"She knows you. Her name is Leah Clearwater."

The response was instantaneous. "Leah's a werewolf?" she shrieked. "What? For how long? Why didn't Jacob tell me?"

She seemed really upset by this revelation so I hastened to answer, and to my dismay, ended up defending the mongrel's sorry hide, without meaning to.

"There are things he wasn't allowed to share – their numbers, for instance. Like I said before, when Sam gives an order, the pack simply isn't able to ignore it. Jacob was very careful to think of other things when he was near me. Of course, after last night that's all out the window."

"I can't believe it," Bella exclaimed, seemingly in shock. "Leah Clearwater!"

She fell silent after that, but I could almost see the wheels churning in her mind, and wished for the millionth time I could simply hear her like I could hear everyone else. As usual, I needed to know what she was thinking about, and was about to open my mouth to ask her, when she spoke again.

"Poor Leah," she whispered.

Poor Leah? Bella was so wrong about that girl. Leah Clearwater's thoughts had been vicious, harpy-like even. Granted, losing her boyfriend to her cousin Emily due to this insane imprinting compulsion had been a terrible blow to the young girl, but she was handling it very badly.

Really, Edward? How would you handle losing Bella and having to hear about her happiness every day?

The nagging voice in the back of my mind reminded me that I wouldn't fare any better, that the pain and anguish would be utterly unbearable, but what little sympathy I'd had for Leah when I realized what had happened to her, how she felt heartbroken and betrayed by something that Sam had been completely unable to control, had been wiped away by her inner bitterness. She absolutely hated being a wolf, hated having to listen to everyone's thoughts, hated having her own shame and heartache laid bare for all them of them to hear. And every day, she acted upon that hatred with extraordinary malice, causing everyone pain in the process, especially Sam.

He suffered most because he had gone back on each and every promise he had made to Leah, starting with having to keep his wolf transformation secret, scared to be around her for fear of hurting her, and then the center of his universe had shifted upon meeting Emily. It wasn't like falling in love, at least not in the conventional sense – he was under a compulsion, a magic spell, like something out of my favorite Shakespeare play. He'd become whatever Emily needed him to be, and once that had been clear to me, I was no longer repulsed by the thought that one of them had imprinted on a two-year old. Quil Ateara's thoughts of the little girl had not been that of a man for the woman he loves – no, oddly enough, he thought of her protectively, like an older brother would. I supposed as Claire grew up, that would change. Either way, that little girl was his whole world.

Nothing mattered but her. Nothing was more important. I completely understood that sentiment.

And to make things even stranger in that aspect, their legends had called it a rare occurrence, but there were already three wolves in the pack that had imprinted. Apparently, this was something that happened after their first change. I'd seen in the flea-ridden dog's pea-sized mind that he had tried to force himself to imprint on Bella once she had figured out his secret, but from what I had seen so far, it was not something that could be forced. And since it didn't happen, I also knew that Bella was not meant for him.

Not that I didn't know that before – she was mine, after all. For life. For eternity.

Really? Eternity?

What are you saying, Edward?

Shit.

I shook my head slightly to get the unwelcome thought out of my mind and returned to my musings about that vicious harpy. I had certainly not appreciated Leah's internal comments when she silently called Bella a leech lover, and the derision of my sweet girl was echoed by some of the other dogs. I was still very angry about that.

I snorted in disgust at the whole lot of them. "She's making life exceedingly unpleasant for the rest of them. I'm not sure she deserves your sympathy."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

"It's hard enough for them, having to share all their thoughts," I explained carefully. "Most of them try to cooperate, make it easier. When even one member is deliberately malicious, it's painful for everyone."

"She has reason enough," Bella mumbled in defense of that harpy.

"Oh, I know," I told her earnestly. "The imprinting compulsion is one of the strangest things I've ever witnessed in my life, and I've seen some strange things." Anything Emmett wore in the seventies came unbidden. I shook my head to clear the hideous images from my mind, and suppressed a groan at the memories.

"The way Sam is tied to his Emily is impossible to describe – or I should say her Sam. Sam really had no choice. It reminds me of A Midsummer Night's Dream with all the chaos caused by the fairies' love spells... like magic." I smiled at Bella. The distraction tactic was working so well, and here was another opportunity to tell her how very much I loved her. "It's very nearly as strong as the way I feel about you."

"Poor Leah," Bella repeated. "But what do you mean, malicious?"

"She's constantly bringing up things they'd rather not think of," I told her, thinking back on the cruel punches the girl had thrown. "For example, Embry."

Surprise flitted across Bella's face. "What's with Embry?"

I suppressed a chuckle. "His mother moved down from the Makah reservation seventeen years ago, when she was pregnant with him. She's not Quileute. Everyone assumed she'd left his father behind with the Makahs. But then he joined the pack."

"So?"

"So the prime candidates for his father are Quil Ateara Sr., Joshua Uley, or Billy Black, all of them married at that point, of course."

Bella gasped, "No!" I chuckled and continued my tale, the distraction working like a charm.

"Now Sam, Jacob, and Quil all wonder which of them has a half-brother. They'd all like to think it's Sam, since his father was never much of a father. But the doubt is always there. Jacob's never been able to ask Billy about that."

I was grinning now – the whole situation was so ridiculously sordid, the result of a torrid affair, and completely awkward because it had become a pink elephant for them – something no one wanted to even think about.

Enter Leah Clearwater.

"Wow," Bella exclaimed, "how did you get so much in one night?"

"The pack mind is mesmerizing," I told her excitedly. "All thinking together and then separately at the same time. There's so much to read!" I could hardly wait to spend more time recapturing the information, dissecting it more deeply and finding out as much as I possibly could about their lives, and the inner workings of the pack. I wished I could have had more time with them – I had only seen the tip of the iceberg last night.

Bella laughed at my regretful expression. "The pack is fascinating," she said, agreeing with me. "Almost as fascinating as you are when you're trying to distract me."

Crap!

My face became instantly smooth, not giving anything away. I didn't respond.

Bella leaned forward. "I have to be in that clearing, Edward."

No fucking way in hell!

Only over my smoldering pile of ashes would that happen.

"No," I replied, my tone final.

Bella's eyes dropped to the table and she was silent for a moment. When she spoke again, her voice was a whisper, and she wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Okay, look, Edward – here's the thing... I've already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are. And I can't stand it if you leave me again."

I inhaled sharply, and the anguish of my guilt overwhelmed me. This was my fault. I had done this to her, I had broken her heart, broken her spirit, and made her feel so abandoned that she could not trust me not to leave her again. Her voice sounded guilty for bringing up the pain of our needless separation, my ridiculous flight from my destiny and hers, and I was overcome by an urgent need to comfort her, explain to her that I would always be hers. I no longer had a choice in the matter – I knew, had known, that I could not survive without her.

I hadn't realized that she was still in so much pain, that her heart had not healed completely. I hadn't realized that she was still afraid that I would leave her once more. I hadn't realized that my assurances to the contrary had not been clear or sufficient enough.

Did you expect it to be so easy? You almost killed her, Edward, you stupid, arrogant ass.

The nagging voice in the back of my mind only strengthened my guilt, and it just wouldn't stop.

Bella was still staring at the wooden kitchen table, the remainder of her breakfast forgotten. I wrapped my arms around her, gently stroking her face, her arms, her back, carefully pressing her against me, inhaling the sweet perfume of her scent.

Oh, my sweet girl, my only love. I couldn't leave you even if I wanted to. And I don't – I don't ever want to be without you again.

"You know it's not like that, Bella," I murmured into her ear, wanting, needing, to reassure her. "I won't be far, and it will be over quickly."

How's that supposed to reassure her? You'd still be gone, for however long it takes.

Well, yes, I argued with myself, but it won't be for very long at all, and it would give me such satisfaction to destroy anyone who's ever threatened her. How better to protect her?

"I can't stand it," she whispered again, her voice anguished. "Not knowing whether or not you'll come back. How do I live through that, no matter how quickly it's over?"

I sighed. My attempts are reassuring her were working about as well as my previous attempts at distraction.

Not at all.
Despite initial failure, I tried again. "It's going to be easy, Bella. There's no reason for your fears."

That's just what she needed to hear – that she's unreasonable. Nice going.

"None at all?" Bella timidly asked for confirmation, and I breathed easier.

"None," I replied in a firm tone.

"And everybody will be fine?" she continued, her voice a little stronger, and I suppressed a relieved sigh. She was breathing shallowly, but seemed to finally buy into my argument, however her eyes were still not meeting mine.

"Everyone," I promised fiercely.

"So there's no way at all that I need to be in the clearing?" Her tone of voice was puzzling – almost as if she was challenging me, but that couldn't be, could it? She was finally agreeing with me – that with the wolves' help, we'd have no problem at all. Of course, she didn't need to be in the clearing. I decided to share another piece of information with her, hoping that would make her feel better.

"Of course not. Alice just told me that they're down to nineteen. We'll be able to handle it easily." I smiled at her, but her downcast eyes did not see it.

"That's right," she said, and I knew I had convinced her. "You said it was so easy that someone could sit out. Did you really mean that?"

"Yes," I simply said, with a slight shrug. Hadn't I promised her that I wouldn't lie to her again? Perhaps she needed a reminder of that but before I could say the words she stunned me into silence.

"So easy that you could sit out?" she challenged me.

Fuck.

I was screwed, and I knew it. She had me trapped in my own words and I hadn't seen it coming. I couldn't speak for a long moment as the repercussions of my stupidity slapped me in the face and hit me in the gut. She had outsmarted me. The silence became deafening. I struggled to smooth out my expression, to hide my emotions as she lifted her head to me. Perhaps there still was a chance to defray this situation. I wanted to fight the newborns nearly as much as Emmett did. I wanted to bring my strength and speed to bear, rip their miserable heads off, laugh in their faces as they died at my hands, punished for coming after Bella.

As her eyes finally looked at mine, I recognized the expression on her face. Guilt, anguish, terror. She was deathly afraid of losing me, and it matched the horror in my own albeit frozen heart.

I watched her chest rise as she took a deep breath, snapping my eyes to her mouth as her lips moved with her final challenge.

"So it's either one way or the other. Either there is more danger than you want me to know about, in which case it would be right for me to be there, to do what I can to help. Or... it's going to be so easy that they'll get by without you. Which way is it?"

The irony of this was not lost on me. I hadn't been lying when I'd told her it would be easy to take care of the newborns with the help of the wolves, but I hadn't pictured myself not fighting with my family. I didn't have a doubt that they would be just fine doing this without me. Certainly I'd have to talk to Jasper, make some changes to the plan, perhaps, if they were to not have my mind-reading ability to help guide them, but I wasn't terribly worried about them getting hurt, nor the wolves. We were a family of strong fighters. Jasper had experience, Emmett had strength, Rosalie was ferociously protective of all of us, including Bella as I had found out, Alice had her visions to help her evade any direct attack, and even Carlisle, pacifistic to the extreme, would fight to the death if the situation called for it.

I just didn't want to sit on the sidelines. I wanted to fight for Bella; destroy any threat to her life – it was my right, my duty. I was certain she'd do the same for me if our roles were reversed.

I had to make certain that she knew what she was truly requesting, and wondered what was going on in her mind that had made her set this inescapable trap.

"You ask me to let them fight without my help?" I kept my voice even, quiet.

"Yes," Bella answered, still unable to look at me, trying to keep her voice just as even, but I heard the self-loathing she had to be feeling inside. "Or to let me be there. Either way, so long as we're together."

She knew. She knew what she was asking for, and I was certain that she also anticipated what I would decide.

Bella being in the clearing was out of the question. If I allowed that and something happened to her during the fight, it would shatter me. Kill me.

I had no choice.

I took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, pondering how I could alleviate her unwarranted guilt. I moved my hands to either side of face and stared into her eyes, searching deep within the chocolate pools. I saw how wretched she felt. For Bella, who was usually so selfless, always putting others first, to make such a monumental request, to making her own needs a priority, was utterly uncharacteristic. I saw the guilt she felt for asking this of me, but deep down in her beautiful eyes, I saw the shame, and more importantly, the agonizing pain she had hidden away from me for so long. I felt the rippling fissure in my unbeating heart. The one that carried my immense guilt until the end of time. It would never mend, never heal. It was my eternal punishment for the pain Bella felt.

I had caused that pain.

The fear, the anguish, the needless agony she was feeling now; it was all rooted in my insipidly arrogant decision to leave her, overreacting to Jasper's mistake and loss of control, loathing the monster within me, not wanting Bella to be exposed to the dangers of my world. From the moment I had met her, fallen in love with her, I'd been trying to find the strength to leave her, and the episode on her birthday had pushed me over that edge.

Seven months of anguished separation had taught me that neither of us was capable of living without the other. The burning agony of having caused her so much pain must have flashed across my face because her eyes widened minutely, as I pulled out the phone to call my sister.

Whatever Bella needs. She's all that matters.

I'd be missing a damn good fight, an opportunity when I'd be able to let loose my anger and get some of the pent-up frustration out of my system. Never mind exposing myself to quite a lot of ribbing, dished out by none other than Emmett. I could already hear his comments in my head. It would not be pleasant.

Fuck.

You brought this on yourself, you idiot. Put the blame where it belongs.

Double fuck!

I released a sigh of resignation and acceptance. This would be just another part of my eternal penitence for having nearly broken the only girl I would ever love.

"Alice," I said when she picked up, "could you come babysit Bella for a bit?"

Bella's eyes tightened when she heard the hated term, and I raised one eyebrow at her.

"Sure, Edward... but why?"

"I need to speak with Jasper," I explained evasively. By the time, Alice got here, she'd probably already seen what I had decided and told the family.

"I'll be right over." She hung up and I put the phone back into my pocket.

The guilt and pain not yet dissipated from Bella's eyes as I gazed back into them. I fought not to get lost in them, to keep a clear head when she spoke.

"I'm sorry." Her voice sounded so anguished, it nearly broke my frozen heart.

"Don't apologize," I said, and forced a small smile on my face. "Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need... " I shrugged dismissively. "You are my first priority."

"I didn't mean it that way – like you have to choose me over your family."

Sweet, silly girl. That wasn't what she had asked of me. I hurried to assure her, to try to alleviate this needless guilt she was feeling.

"I know that. Besides, that's not what you asked. You gave me two alternatives that you could live with, and I chose the one that I could live with. That's how compromise is supposed to work." I smiled at her gently and let the love I felt for her shine out of my eyes.

She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against my chest. "Thank you," she whispered.

I put my arms around her and pulled her against me. "Anytime," I told her, kissing the top of her head. "Anything."

Whatever she needed, I'd do it. I allowed myself to enjoy a long moment of peace, with Bella's cheek pressed against me, my arms surrounding her, and relished the fire of pure, unadulterated love that her simple, willing touch ignited inside me.

At least now, I knew the reasons for her strange dreams today – it all made sense now. Except for one thing.

"Who's the third wife?"

"Huh?" Bella replied.

"You were mumbling something about 'the third wife' last night," I explained. "The rest made a little sense," especially in light of the most recent conversation we'd had, "but you lost me there."

She kept her face pressed to my shirt when she answered, which made me suspicious immediately. "Oh. Um, yeah. That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night." She shrugged a little, but her voice sounded like she was uncomfortable that I had brought it up. "I guess it stuck with me."

I leaned back a bit so I could look at her face, cocking my head to the side. The lie of omission was clear on her face.

Right. I wasn't buying a word of what she'd just told me. There had to be some significance to that story, and I would find out. Even if I had to asked the stinking dog about it.

Alice danced into the kitchen, before I could press Bella further. The expression on her face was not pleased, and I wasn't pleased because Bella couldn't see that Alice wasn't mad because I was not going to fight – she was mad because she knew I'd be a bit temperamental for while, unhappy to have to let this opportunity slip through my fingers.

"If you know what's good for you, grumpy pants, you won't take it out on any of us."

"Hello, Alice," I said without looking, ignoring her mental comment about my decision.

I tilted Bella's head back to kiss her. "I'll be back later tonight," I promised, "I'll go work this out with the others, rearrange things."

"Okay." Bella leaned into my embrace once more, and pressed her lips against mine.

"Get a room."

I glared at my sister.

"There's not much to arrange," Alice said, with a smirk. "I already told them. Emmett is pleased."

The mental picture of that exchange made me sigh. "Of course he is."

With one last hungry look at Bella, I walked out of the kitchen through the backdoor.

"Charlie will be home soon. I'll get Bella to take a shower, and then I'll arrange for the sleepover permission. No need to thank me."

"Annoying little pixie," I muttered under my breath as I crossed the back lawn towards the forest. She heard me, of course, and sent me on my way with a picture of her tongue stuck out at me.

Nice.

I broke into a full run and was at the house in minutes. Emmett and Jasper were mock-fighting on the front lawn. I heard Rosalie in the garage, Carlisle in his office, and Esme watching TV in the living room.

"Hey, Edward," Emmett shouted, grinning when he saw me approach. "No newborn ripping for you, I hear. Too bad. I guess I'll just take care of your share. You are so whipped, my brother."

"Shut up," I growled at him angrily. "You don't even know what you're talking about."

"What got your knickers in a knot?"

"It would have been just fine, if that one," I pointed at Jasper, "hadn't planted that stupid idea in her head. What the hell were you thinking when you brought that up?"

"Easy, man," Jasper held up his hands.

"This is your fault, damn it. Next time, keep your big mouth shut."

"Well, pardon me for breathing." Jasper was getting angry, and my own fury only made his anger stronger.

"Oh, damn it all," I said, and sat down on the front step and buried my face in my hands. I was being unfair and I knew it.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I shouldn't take this out on you. I'm a little peeved about missing the fighting, and I shouldn't be. Bella's safety is more important."

Jasper strolled over to the porch, with Emmett a few steps behind him.

"So – basically, you're pissed because you can't fight with us?" he clarified.

"Yes," I freely admitted.

Emmett laughed. "Told ya – you're whipped, man."

"How did she manage to get you to agree to stay with her?" Jasper wanted to know.

"She gave me a choice – either be in the clearing with us, or be with me in the hiding place. Either way, as long as we weren't separated during the fight. She said she couldn't stand it if I left her again. She is terrified of losing me, thinking that I could leave again." I laughed, once, harshly. "As if I could. As if I wasn't just as terrified to lose her."

Jasper felt the desperation radiating through me, and tried to ease it with a wave of calming serenity. "Edward, you made the right choice," he said quietly. "Sure, it would be a little easier if we had you there, with the mind reading and all, but we can manage just fine without you. And to be honest, the plan you cooked up last night with our neighborhood pup, having an inexperienced boy watching over her, didn't quite sit right with me. She'll be safer with you – you know that."

Rosalie had walked out of the garage and sat down next to me. "He's right, Edward. You need to keep her safe. If anything happens to her – something you would have been able to prevent if you'd just stayed with her, how would you handle that? How would we handle your reaction? Never mind the ass-kicking you'd get from me." She smiled a little, and Emmett's eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

"Oh, and don't worry too much about Emmett," she leaned down towards me, "I'll keep his ass in line."

"What the hell??" he sputtered. I nearly laughed at the disbelief on Emmett's face.

"Who are you, and what have you done with my wife?" he demanded heatedly.

"Nothing to worry about, dear," Rosalie smiled enigmatically. "Come help me do the last tune-up?"

She got up and, with a flick of her hips, turned towards the garage. Emmett sauntered after her like the good husband he was.

"Damn, I'm just as whipped as he is."

I laughed once, and Jasper watched Emmett waltz into the garage.

"What's so funny?"

I just shook my head and mouthed, "Nothing."

I grumbled under my breath about the unfairness of it all, having to sit out, knowing that Rosalie and Jasper were right. I could protect Bella much more efficiently if she stayed with me, out of the way, far removed from the newborn army. Not having to rely on an immature pup. I felt marginally better when I thought about spending time with her alone.

Jasper looked at me, smirking. "Feel better now? Don't worry, Edward. You can help me tonight, if you like. I'm assuming you'll both be there?"

"Most likely," I nodded, "I don't think I'll be able to keep her away."

"We'll do some different groupings, teach them how to handle more than one coming at them. Trust me – if I'm not worrying, neither should you."

"She's really grown on me, Edward. It'll be a fine day when she joins our family."

I growled at him, but he was not swayed.

"You got someone extraordinary here. Don't fuck it up. I still owe that girl for forgiving me so easily."

I knew what he was referring to. "Jasper," I warned him. "Don't! The fault for that is all mine."

"Oh, be done already, Edward. Seriously, do you get off on loathing yourself? You may wanna try a different method, but suit yourself. I just don't wanna feel it anymore."

"I'm sorry," I said, raising my eyes to him. "I know I'm not being fair. This just really sucks."

Jasper laughed. "Oh, so what, you don't get to fight. Big deal. Isn't her sanity worth it?"

"Of course it is," I said indignantly. "Why do you think I'm agreeing to her request?"

"I figured as much. You're doing the right thing. We can handle the newborns without you – you know that. Is that what's pissing you off? That you're not needed?"

"I suppose... I don't know. I think it's primarily because I'm utterly shocked that Bella laid this trap for me so perfectly, and I never saw it coming."

Jasper laughed again. "What? Edward outsmarted by a human? A girl, at that?"

"Enough with the jokes at my expense," I snapped. "Sorry. Seriously, she totally blindsided me. I didn't think she had it in her. I suppose I'm a little surprised that she can be so ruthless."

"She's female, Edward. That's something they're born with," he winked at me.

"No," I shook my head. "It's more than that. I think this might be the first really selfish thing she's done since I met her. And she's feeling terribly guilty about it, I could tell. Not that she has anything to feel guilty about – certainly not for asking me to stay with her. I had no idea that she was still hurting so badly, that her heart wasn't healed yet... it staggered me. I feel like a complete fool for not realizing it sooner. I mean, it was like that in the beginning, when I... we... first returned. I guess I thought that by now, she'd believe that I would never, could never leave her again."

Jasper looked at me sympathetically. "To be honest, Edward, I don't think that'll ever go away completely – that feeling that you might abandon her again. Not for a few years, anyway. She trusts you implicitly – any idiot can see that, and she loves you as deeply as you love her... you know, I can tell that without question, but you've hurt her... we all did. God, I am so damn sorry I lost my cool that night. It was one fucking drop of blood, and I completely lost my mind. All I could see was that red, glistening liquid spilling from her finger. If it hadn't been for you, I'd have bit her, killed her."

He cast his eyes down at the ground. "I'm so, so sorry, Edward."

I saw an opportunity to ease his mind.

"Stop," I said. "It's done, it's over, and you know I've forgiven you. Besides, it wasn't your fault that you snapped."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he scoffed. "You didn't seem to have any problem not lunging at her, and she's your fucking singer. You sucked out that sadist's venom, you drank from her, and you were able to stop." I could tell he was quickly spiraling into another round of unnecessary guilt.

"Yes," I agreed calmly, "but I'm also irrevocably in love with her. I know that I can't live without her – though, stupidly enough, for a little while, I thought I could, that I had to. Jasper, what I'm trying to tell you is this... my bloodlust flared just the same at that moment she got that papercut. So did Esme's and Emmett's and Rosalie's – even Alice, I'm certain. We are usually very careful not to get exposed to fresh human blood. You know that. The only one who's really immune is Carlisle. Don't you think it's possible that your own bloodlust was exacerbated in that moment by what we were all feeling?"

He stared at me in disbelief. "What are you saying?"

"Remember when we were in Phoenix?" I continued, not waiting for him to nod. "You were in a car with her, in a small, confined space for hours, driving down there. You stayed with her in a hotel room for two days. You killed James in the ballet studio, while Bella lay bleeding from numerous wounds on the floor. There was a lot of blood. Did your bloodlust overwhelm you then? Sure, you left when he was dead and it became to much – but you left. You walked right past her and didn't lunge at her." It was a little difficult to breathe at that moment, as the horrendous images of Bella's broken body floated to the surface. It had been one of the worst moments of my existence.

"No," he murmured, still in shock, and recoiling slightly from the sudden anguish that he absorbed from me. I struggled to get my emotions back under control.

"You see, Jasper? This was not all your fault. In that split second, you absorbed our emotions and it made your own stronger. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about this sooner, but the thought just came to me this morning," I finished.

"I don't really know what to say, Edward," he said slowly. "You present a good argument, but I've always been the weakest link. None of the others lunged at her. None of you struggle like I do to keep the thirst in check."

"That is true," I agreed carefully. "But none of us had the upbringing you did. You haven't had a lapse in how long?"

"Thirty-seven years."

"You see my point?"

"I suppose I do. But I still struggle around humans, though oddly enough, not so much with Bella anymore."

"Yes, I have seen that in your thoughts, though I don't fully understand why that has changed so much." I could see the intention forming in his mind, and I fell silent as I realized he wanted to really explain himself to me.

"Walk with me for a moment, if you don't mind. I'd rather not have an audience."

We ran together into the forest, out of earshot of our family. Jasper sat down on a fallen tree, while I leaned my back against a nearby boulder. I appreciated his trust and listened carefully as he began.

"Well, as you will remember, in the beginning I was exceptionally angry with you, especially when you saved her from being crushed by that idiot's van, and then your horrifically rude behavior towards my old friends. Well, you know – you were there. I spent those few days with Peter and Charlotte, and Peter told me, for the very first time, that he actually fell in love with Charlotte while she was still human, though only barely, and it got me thinking. Rosalie found Emmett the same way, as Carlisle found Esme. I knew their stories, how they met, but it had never occurred to me that this could be a pattern, a natural occurrence. Alice was already an immortal when we first met. Without meaning to, I began to question if this was a possibility – that vampires could fall in love with a human, and while it was a staggering thought, I began to look at your inexplicable fixation with Bella in a different light. Of course, Emmett and Esme, and even Charlotte had all been at the brink of death, and Bella certainly wasn't, so I couldn't be sure that this was the same scenario. But I thought it was interesting, at the very least. Needless to say, I hid my thoughts from you – I was still very angry with how you had treated my friends, which clouded my ability to think rationally about this, and I was also making contingency plans in case Bella found out what we were. I saw the inevitability of that happening, when Alice shared her vision with me, so I wasn't quite as shocked as Rosalie that day we realized that Bella knew. But I wasn't sure that she could be trusted to keep the secret. I still considered her a huge risk to all of us, a chance that the Volturi would find out that a human knew about us, and that their punishment would descend on us all. I was afraid – not for myself, but for Alice. And I felt rage towards you for exposing us all. I really, really wanted to hurt you at that time, but I refrained because of Alice. She convinced me to wait it out." He smirked before continuing.

"Then you brought Bella home just a few days later, after she had figured out what monsters we actually were, and Alice insisted that I meet her, telling me again what good friends they would become, and I could feel the longing that emanated from my wife, to have a girlfriend, a confidante outside of our relationship. You of all people know that whatever decision I make is based on Alice's needs. I can only assume that you're the same with Bella." He looked at me, and I nodded in affirmation, before he lowered his eyes to the ground.

"Oddly enough, Bella wasn't afraid. There she was, in a room with seven vampires, and I didn't feel any fear from her. Sure, she was nervous but I quickly realized that it wasn't based on what we were. I will never forget the ease with which you touched her, having her sit on your lap, and the extraordinary happiness that radiated from you both. I knew I'd never felt that from you, not in the many years since Alice and I joined the family. You were never really happy before, Edward, but here was this little human girl, and you were radiant with your elation and pure joy. I was flabbergasted, to say the least. I felt your thirst, of course, when you lowered your head to her neck, but you overrode the feeling instantly. It made no sense to me. I couldn't understand how you were able to refrain from biting her, your singer of all people, how you were able to touch her without breaking her, and how she could enjoy being in your arms. I could feel the depth of the love you had for her, and I could feel that same depth from her. I nearly dismissed it. She was a human, and could not possibly be feeling the intensity of our vampire emotions." He paused and his voice was quiet when he finally continued. "It was comparable to what I feel from Alice."

I simply nodded, unable to speak. I remembered that day so clearly, and how elated I had been to have Bella know everything about me, about us. But just as Jasper had, I too had dismissed the notion that Bella's feelings for me matched those of my own for her.

Jasper continued. "That same day, that night, the nomads came, and then we were whisking Bella away, running from that sadistic swine, but I regarded my behavior in Phoenix as a fluke, in a way. It was something I did for Alice.... ," he trailed off for a moment, remembering how his wife had begged him, telling him that she wanted Bella in her life, and that he needed to do whatever it took to save her. He remembered softening towards Bella during that time, knowing how her presence in my life affected me, how I was happier than he'd ever seen me. There was a glimpse of a conversation he had with Bella in that hotel room in Phoenix, something he'd never told me.

"Our only fear is losing you." The memory was fleeting and he quickly moved on to the next image.

He'd gotten a glimpse of her personality by then, her selflessness, her goodness, her devotion to me, and it had made him question his earlier aversion to her.

When we all returned to Forks, with Bella in a cast, and more bruises on her body than I cared to count, he had resumed keeping his distance due to his thirst, and been careful not to get close to her again. At my request. I hadn't trusted him to control himself, and I hadn't wanted him exposed to the temptation. Bella and Jasper had spent little time in each other's presence, their relationship distant and a little awkward. He reflected on his emotions changing towards Bella during the summer leading up to her eighteenth birthday, how he'd felt more comfortable in her presence, though still cautious, and how he'd slowly started to accept her as my mate. I suppressed a grimace at that thought – he'd realized the significance of my truly falling in love with Bella long before I had.

It was baffling to see that he had managed to keep all of this private, never thinking of it when I was around. There was something that was nagging me in the back of my mind – a fleeting thought of something that Jasper had said.

And then it hit me – just like I had acclimated myself to Bella's scent over time, perhaps I should have extended that same opportunity to Jasper. If he'd been around her more, and had been exposed to Bella's fragrance more often, who was to say that he would have snapped on her birthday?

I'd never thought about that. Could more exposure have changed his reaction to that little drop of blood? Could that horrible aftermath with all its far-reaching consequences have been avoided? Had his failure at controlling himself been my fault by not allowing him to get acclimated to Bella?

I didn't get a chance to think about it further as the images of her birthday party flooded his mind, and I inhaled sharply, before they turned into pictures of the desolate vampire that had insisted on giving up his only love so she could have a long, happy, human life, and made his family suffer along with him. My throat constricted, and I was unable to breathe when I saw the image, my dead heart broken, a shadow of myself, knowing I would spend eternity without Bella. I struggled to contain the anguish within myself but failed miserably.

Jasper looked straight at me with a grimace. "Ouch, Edward. Please, let me continue – this is hard enough as it is for me, to tell you all this. You know I don't share much of myself with anyone except Alice, and I often resent your ability because it intrudes on my privacy."

I nodded. "Yes, and I really am grateful that you are so honest and open right now. You know I try to stay out as much as I can."

Jasper smiled slightly. "You do, and I appreciate it. So, anyway – initially, I was horribly ashamed for what I did that night – I still am. Then it grew to anger – you were hurting us all, especially my wife, and I didn't understand why you wouldn't just turn Bella, make her one of us, claim her for your own, as you know she is. I still don't understand that, really. She's your mate, after all. I couldn't comprehend how you could simply give her up, but I was too ashamed to argue with you, to stand next to Alice and tell you that you were making a tremendous mistake." He shook his head as he heard the rumbled growl in my chest. Jasper held up his hands.

"Stop – I really don't want to know your asinine reasoning, because it likely will never make sense to me, and you know as well as I do that by now it's a done deal, thank God. I would vote the same way again, if need be. This is her choice, and you need to let her make it. Look... " he ran a hand through his hair, "I have felt the enormity of your pain, Edward – I felt your despair and desolation when you made us all leave here, and the intensity of it matched what I imagine I would feel if I ever lost Alice. It was staggering. The love between the two of you is palpable – I can tell that even without my extra ability. She braved the Volturi to save your sorry ass, for crying out loud. Do you have any idea how panicked I was when Alice ran off to Italy, with Bella, to stop you from killing yourself? How close I came to following them, only relenting when Alice assured me it would be fine? That she would come home to me? " His glare was fierce. As this appeared to be a rhetorical question, I didn't think he expected an answer so I didn't respond. He inhaled deeply, and lowered his gaze again.

"Of course, now I know she was lying, and I know why. All I could see though that she was running after you. I was so mad at you for pulling that stupid stunt. Then you all came home, and here we are, preparing to go to battle with a newborn army, once again trying to keep Bella safe. And I'll do it gladly, Edward, any day of the week, whatever is necessary. She's your mate, she's family now. I feel so much more comfortable around her. As I said, Bella's grown on me. I'm actually quite fond of her. Alice loves her to pieces, and hurting Bella in any way would hurt Alice, and I just can't let that happen. Never mind what it would do to you and the rest of the family." He looked up and shrugged.

That had been the longest speech Jasper had made, in the five decades I'd known him. I was speechless for a moment, simply staring at him, and he smirked at me.

"What?"

I found my voice. "First of all – thank you for fighting for Bella. I would never have asked, but I want you to know that I really appreciate how you, and everyone else, has jumped in and prepared to do whatever it takes to keep her safe. Secondly, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, Jasper. I won't explain my reasons for wanting to keep Bella human, but I will tell you this – I have started to question myself on that. I still think it would be a monstrously selfish thing to do, to ask her to give up her mortality, her humanity, her soul for me, but I've also realized that I can't live without her. And I don't want to. I can finally admit out loud that I want her for the rest of time. So, perhaps it is inevitable. She certainly is hellbent on going through with her choice, and I can see that it will happen, whenever she's ready. Just not now – not while she's in danger."

"Damn, Edward – that is the first time you've ever alluded to not being averse to her change. Have you finally gotten over your ludicrous fear for her soul?" He was astonished.

I smirked. "Yes, well, perhaps not entirely, but I'm getting there – your lovely wife had a lot to do with it. Has she told you how she laid into me yesterday?"

"I'm glad she did." I noticed that he hadn't actually answered my question, but his mind did not show any conversation between the two of them about that, so I let it go.

"She was quite convincing," I grinned a little. "I've been considering this for a while, though. Ever since the vote, I suppose. Ever since our return." I took a deep breath. "And what you've just told me certainly explains why you no longer struggle so much around Bella."

His return smile was teasing. "Yeah, I've had some time to think it through. Couple of months... "

"Look, Jasper, I know you joined the family because of Alice, and you and Emmett are closer than you and I, and you've put up with a lot from me over the years." I smirked at him. "You still are. Anyway, please know that I'm not blaming you for what happened, and neither is Bella. But I can see that you're still blaming yourself, and I don't think you should. If anyone's to blame, it's me. The situation could have been handled in many different ways, but I overreacted completely. Not that it's anything out of the ordinary," I added with another smirk.

"Yeah, Edward, you definitely need to work on that, man. Give me some relief. I think I've earned it." He grinned freely and winked at me. "Though, I'm no better if it concerns Alice. Shall we head back?"

"Let's," I agreed. "And Jasper – thanks. Really. Thank you for sharing that with me."

"It was a long time coming."

I completely agreed and nodded. "Yes, it was. Come on, then, my brother." We raced back towards the house and fell into a walk as we reached the back lawn.

"I'm going to head inside to change. Alice is with Bella, and I need to get back over there. What time are you meeting tonight?"

"Ten," he answered. "I guess I'll see you then?"

"Wouldn't miss it. Let me know if you need my help with anything."

"Sure thing." He turned towards the garage, thinking to take the Ducati for a spin. Before he got there, he turned around. "Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks." He radiated contentment, and the wave hit me square in the chest.

I smiled. "You're welcome. I should have talked to you sooner."

"So should I." He turned towards the garage again.

I walked through the back door. Esme rose from the couch to greet me and enveloped me in a hug.

"Edward," she said, smiling and looking up at me. "Did you finally talk to Jasper?"

"It was long overdue, Esme," I told her.

"I know it was, my boy. And I'm so glad you two finally talked about what happened. He's been blaming himself for so long."

In her mind, I saw the conversations Carlisle had attempted with Jasper about the same subject, but he'd been brushed off by an angry and shamed man. I felt wretched when I saw the images of Jasper fleeing into the woods, to be by himself, to wrestle with his guilt.

"Thank you, Edward," she simply said and raised herself up to kiss my cheek.

Esme released me and went to the stairs to find Carlisle, lithely bounding up the stairs, her mind full of joy that another of the difficult talks was out of the way. It staggered me just a little to see how a long overdue conversation could so easily heal the bonds in my family, those that had nearly shattered the previous fall, and I berated myself that I hadn't done this sooner, as I followed Esme up the stairs and continued to my room.

Arrogant ass.

Yes, I know, thank you.

I quickly discarded the clothes I was wearing into the hamper, and pulled clean khakis and a blue shirt from my closet before taking the stairs two at a time on my way back down. I walked into the garage, flinging my key ring around my finger, and found Emmett and Rosalie finishing up on the Mercedes. Jasper and the motorcycle were long gone.

Emmett grinned at me, and Rosalie winked.

Rosalie winked? I'm toast.

"What?" I asked. "What's funny?"

"Still making amends, I see," Rosalie thought.

"Did he tell you... ?" I broke off.

"No, but it doesn't take a genius such as yourself to figure out what you two talked about. He came in here, grinning like a kid on Christmas morning, got on his bike and peeled out."

"Yes, well... " Now I felt embarrassed.

Emmett came over and slapped me on the back. Hard. I winced. "Is it my turn now?"

"Your turn for what?"

"For you to gain my forgiveness, bro. Seems like you've gone through the whole family, except for me. Should I be upset that you haven't talked to me yet? Would it help if I cried a little?" His amusement was so evident on his face, I didn't even need to read his thoughts. Besides, Emmett never thought anything he wouldn't say out loud, unless it was specifically designed to make me skip right out of his head. During those moments, he would use naked images of himself and Rose. Not something I wanted to see. Ever.

I stared at him. "Very funny, Emmett."

"Oh, c'mon, I'm hurt. You know, I think I figured out why Rose is suddenly nice to you."
"What?" My eyes flew to her face. "Did you... ?"

She shook her head just a little. "Are you nuts? Do you really think I would tell that lovable, big oaf what we talked about? You'd never hear the end of it... come to think of it, perhaps I should... "

"Rosalie," I warned, "that is a double-edged sword."

She just grinned. "Relax. For once, Emmett put two and two together and came up with four."

"Don't worry, Edward," Emmett laughed boisterously. "I'm not stupid. I heard you talk to Carlisle, and to Esme. I know Rosalie met up with you a few days ago. Alice met you yesterday morning. Now you just came back from running off with Jasper, who walked in here like he's been handed the gift of his lifetime. So unless you have some really perverted stuff going on, the only thing I can think of is that you've finally decided to apologize to us, for being so fucking stupid last fall." He wiggled his eyebrows. "So, spill. Is there something you'd like to say to me?"

"Er...," I fumbled, having no idea how to respond to that.

"What's the matter, Edward? Has that stick up your ass rendered you unable to form a coherent sentence?" He grinned at me.

Oh, what the hell...

"It would appear that way," I admitted with a small grin.

Emmett laughed again. "That's a first, I think. For me, at least. Come on, then. Let me hear it."

This was apparently not my day. No, this was definitely a day for penitence. I decided to just suck it up and give him what he deserved. "I'm sorry, Emmett. I'm sorry I was such an arrogant bastard last fall, I'm sorry I made you all leave, I'm sorry to have hurt you with my actions. Please forgive me?"

I looked at him with a sheepish grin.

His smile lit up his face. "'bout time, my brother. 'bout fucking time." His fist formed, his arm swung out, and though I could read the intent, I let him smash his hand into my biceps and fought the urge to flinch.

Fuck. That hurt.

"Okay. 's all good." He was impressed that I hadn't avoided the punch. "Good thing that won't leave a bruise. Go on, then, I can see you're itching to get back to Bella. Now, listen – you protect her this weekend, you hear me? I'm rather partial to having her around."

"I'll do my best," I promised, and rushed to the Volvo. "See you later," I shouted over my shoulder before jumping into the car and driving out of the garage.

I actually felt freed, in a way. Freed because I'd had a chance to talk to everyone in my family, make amends for my stupidity and callous disregard of their feelings when I demanded we all leave. In that aspect, I was actually a lucky guy. My family loved me, despite of what I had done over the years, and especially despite my arrogance, and they all loved Bella for loving me. Even Rosalie had come around.

When I drove up to Bella's house, Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway, so I parked by the curb and quickly walked up to the front door, knocking as usual. I heard two beating hearts and two minds but only one person inside had both. Charlie was in a fairly happy mood, primarily because Alice had wrapped him around her little finger. He loved when she visited, and similar to my predicament with Bella, he could deny Alice nothing.

"I got it all set up, Edward," Alice trilled in her mind. "As far as Charlie knows, you will all be on a camping trip, and Bella will be alone with me this weekend, starting tomorrow night. You can thank me later. Oh, and Bella doesn't know that you're the one kidnapping her. I didn't get a chance to tell her." She quickly replayed the conversation in her head so I could be prepared for whatever Bella's suspicious father might throw my way in an attempt to trip me up.

A few quick footsteps, and the door opened to reveal the most beautiful face in the world. "Hello, my love," I said softly before pulling her into my arms. "Did you miss me?"

She leaned into my chest, and I deeply inhaled her incomparable fragrance. "Don't you know?" she whispered. I chuckled.

"I suppose I do," I said, smiling happily, and kissed her temple. "I missed you, too. Are you finished with dinner?"

She took my hand and pulled me inside. "Yes, all done. Come in."

We walked into the kitchen, hand in hand, and Charlie registered our clasped fingers. His mood changed instantly, but he felt, because Alice was also there, that he needed to be a little more courteous than usual.

"Evening, Edward," he said, and cringed internally. I suppressed a grin and returned his greeting.

"Good evening, Charlie."

"So, you're heading out to the wilderness this weekend?" he asked, wondering if this was all a ploy, and if I'd stumble over my answer.

"Yes, sir, we are. Carlisle's taking off some time at the hospital, and we're leaving early in the morning. Alice has chosen to remain behind to indulge her addiction for shopping," I added with a teasing look at my sister.

He was appeased by my answer. "Well, have a nice trip."

"Thank you, Charlie."

Having said his piece, he heaved himself out of the kitchen chair and ambled into the living room. "Gonna go watch the game, Bells," he said over his shoulder. "You kids can join, if you want."

"I want to clean up from dinner first, Dad. Maybe in a little while."

"Sure."

Bella washed, I dried, and Alice put things away. We spent those few minutes in companionable silence – well, not entirely silent, as Alice's mind was focused on seeing any more possible scenarios, and trying to figure out who was behind the newborn army.

"I just can't see it, Edward," she sighed internally. "It's driving me absolutely crazy."

"It's okay, Alice," I whispered. "Don't fret. It'll be fine."

"What did Jasper say when you talked to him?" She gave me a visual of our talking spot in the woods. I hissed under my breath. Was there nothing secret? I reminded myself that this was her husband, and that she probably had a right to know. So – if he wanted to tell her, that was fine with me. "It looked like he was quite happy afterwards."

"Later, Alice," I said too quickly for Bella to understand.

Bella stared at us. "What? Did you see anything more?"

"No," Alice said lightly. "I just wanted to know what Jasper said, what new strategies they discussed."

"Oh," Bella said and pulled the plug out sink to let the dirty dish water drain. She turned to me and smiled. "Well, looks like we're done here. Thanks for helping. Do you want to go to the living room and watch TV with Charlie?"

Her father's ears perked up when he heard his name, and I continued our little charade.

"Not tonight, sweetheart. I want to get home early, since we're leaving early in the morning." I winked at her, and she smiled, understanding what I was saying. But just to be sure, I told her anyway, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"I'll be waiting in your room, my love."

Bella giggled quietly. "Okay," she said, loud enough for Charlie to hear. "Let me walk you to the door."

Both Alice and I stuck our head into the living room to wish Charlie a good night. "Night," he grunted when I spoke, but when Alice said, "Good night, Charlie," he smiled and replied in a much nicer fashion.

"Bye, Alice. Sleep tight."

Fat chance.

When we got to the door, Alice went ahead to the car. I turned to Bella, took her face gently into my hands and kissed her sweet lips. "Don't make me wait too long," I murmured. And for good measure, I kissed her again.

"Good night, sweetheart," I said for Charlie's benefit. "I will see you on Sunday. Have fun with Alice."

"Bye," she replied and raised herself to her toes to kiss me once more. With a sigh, I released her and turned towards my car. Bella went inside and closed the door behind her.

"Edward," Alice grinned. "Do you want me to drive the Volvo home?"

I grinned back at her. "How did you know?"

"Female intuition," she deadpanned, and I laughed.

"Thanks for taking care of lying to Charlie," I said.

"No problem. Though it took a moment, and a few times stepping on her toes, to get her to realize what I was doing. She can be a little dense sometimes."

"Hey, be nice," I growled. "She still very tired. She had a long night last night, and I don't think tonight will be any different."

"Yeah, I know," Alice sighed. "She's stubborn to a fault."

I laughed. "That must be a female thing," I teased her. "I know someone else who's just as stubborn."

She had the good grace to grin. "That is our prerogative," she retorted with a wink. "Come on, let's go."

We got into the car and drove to the end of Bella's street, where I got out and Alice moved to the driver's seat.

She had to add one last jab. "I can see that you won't tell me about your conversation with Jazz. That's fine. I'll just ask him." I also received her usual tongue-sticking-out-at-me gesture, but that didn't sway me. If she wanted to know about my private conversation with her husband, she'd have to get it out of him. I wasn't going to tell. I smiled widely.

"See you later, Edward," she huffed, but I was already running back to Bella.

I silently climbed into her bedroom and stretched out on the narrow, single bed. She was still downstairs, talking to Charlie. I watched her through his eyes, breathing deeply to fill my nostrils with her scent.

"I'm going to bed, Dad," she told Charlie, and I grinned.

"You can't be tired," he protested, silently adding, "You slept all day."

"A little," Bella replied, her heart starting to beat faster at the lie.

"No wonder you like to skip the parties," he muttered. "It takes you so long to recover."

Thankfully, he had no idea that she'd been out all night, in the middle of the Olympic National Forest, spending time with seven vampires and ten overgrown mutts.

"Yeah," Bella mumbled. "G'night." She turned, and I lost the visual. I heard her trudge up the stairs, and shortly thereafter, her bedroom door opened and she slipped inside. I threw her a smile, and she rewarded me with one of her own.

God, how I love her.

I opened my arms for her and she joined me on the bed, snuggling against me. "What time are we meeting with the wolves?" she asked quietly.

"In an hour," I responded after throwing a quick glance at her alarm clock.

"That's good," she said evenly. "Jake and his friends need to get some sleep."

She was so misguided sometimes. "They don't need as much as you do," I reminded her. Something in my voice must have set her off, because she immediately changed the subject. I wondered if she thought I would try to dissuade her from joining us tonight. She didn't know that I had no such intention, fully anticipating that she would fight me tooth and nail if I even brought it up. I had learned my lesson from the previous night, and I was certainly not deluding myself into thinking that I could possibly convince her to do something she absolutely did not want to do. At least not without resorting to devious measures, and that would just make her mad at me.

"Did Alice tell you that she's kidnapping me again?" she asked me, and her voice sounded baleful.

I grinned happily. It seemed Bella truly didn't know that I would be doing the kidnapping this time. "Actually, she's not."

She raised her head to stare at me, and confusion washed over her glorious features. I laughed lightly at the befuddled expression on her face.

"I'm the only one who has permission to hold you hostage, remember? Alice is going hunting with the rest of them." And I would stay behind, missing the fight. I sighed.

No. It didn't matter. Bella would always come first, her needs more important than anything else. So what if I missed out on a good brawl – she was worth it any day.

"I guess I don't need to do that now," I added, with just a little regret in my voice.

Her eyes widened. "You're kidnapping me?" I simply nodded in response. She was silent, gazing at me with those deep, chocolate-brown orbs, and I felt myself getting lost in the depth of her gaze. I realized after a moment, that she had yet to react to my revelation, and I became concerned when she did not speak.

Crap. You idiot. How presumptuous can you be? What made you think she'd want to spend the night alone with you?

"Is that alright?" I asked anxiously.

Please say yes.

"Well... sure, except for one thing."

What thing? Oh, God – have I messed up again? Why couldn't I just hear her thoughts? What thing?

"What thing?" I blurted out, staring at her worriedly. A smile tucked at the corner of her lip.

"Why didn't Alice tell Charlie you were leaving tonight?" The small grin had widened to a full smile that lit up her beautiful face and put a twinkle in her eyes.

Oh.

I was flooded with relief. A small laugh escaped my lips, and I leaned forward to claim her mouth for a kiss.

"I didn't think of that when I asked Alice to arrange for it," I answered honestly. "There probably wouldn't have been enough time to plan it that way, not without arousing Charlie's suspicion.
I lowered my voice and whispered seductively. "But I will tell you this – I am very much looking forward to spending time alone with you. Just you and me." I pulled her closer against me, almost a little too roughly. Bella inhaled sharply, and I smiled, bringing my head in closer proximity to hers, gazing into her beautiful eyes, locking them to mine.

Our lips met slowly, gently moving together. Bella's arms wrapped around my neck, my hands snaked to her waist, and I pulled her flush on top of me. She melted against me, and our kiss deepened. When she needed to breathe I moved my mouth to her neck, gently kissing the hollow under her ear, her lobe, nuzzling my nose against the pulsing artery that held the tantalizing fluid representing her humanity. I wanted to languidly run my tongue up her pale throat to taste her, but settled for close-mouthed kisses instead, gently pressing my lips to her jaw, her chin, and ending in another kiss on those plump lips that made me forget what I was, and roused the human man inside me.

Her heartbeat skipped, then sped up, her breaths became faster; little pants of air that pushed her scent into my mouth, where I could taste her essence on my tongue, and it stoked the fire in my throat. Her breathing turned to small mewls when I moved my lips back to the side of her head, laying a trail of kisses to her ear, and flicked the tip of my tongue over her earlobe. Bella closed her eyes, her long, dark lashes brushing against her cheekbones.

"Edward," she moaned softly, burying her small hands into the hair at the nape of my neck, turning her head slightly to kiss my cheek, my chin and every spot on my face she could possibly reach. My own eyes fluttered closed, and I moved my mouth back to those luscious, full lips, kissing her passionately. Her mouth opened just a little and she pushed her fiery tongue against my bottom lip, and my own mouth fell slightly open; the tip of my tongue met hers. Electricity shot to the juncture between my legs, and my manhood twitched as if shocked.

I knew I should stop this from progressing but couldn't find the will. The fragrance of her arousal filled the air and floated into my nostrils, bringing on a thick haze that engulfed my mind.

Trying to fight the fog, I noticed that my hands had moved from her waist without my permission; one roaming across her back, slipping underneath her shirt to touch the bare skin, the other firmly wrapped in her long tresses, securing her lips to mine. Her hips no longer immobile, she began to wiggle them back and forth, rubbing her pubic bone across my disobedient and delighted manhood. I felt fluids rushing to my groin, pooling in my member. Her moving pelvis created the most delicious friction, and suddenly my pants were too tight.

My eyes flew open. I could not allow her to feel the hardness of my length against her – that would be utterly outrageous, considering I was a gentleman, and I certainly didn't want to give her the impression that I was some sort of villainous monster who lusted after her gorgeous body.

Which, of course, I did.

Badly.

My century-old moral code was knocking on the window, trying to find a way to fly out.

The carnal beast rattled at the cage door, licking its lips in anticipation, snarling at me to take what I, and it, wanted so desperately. To take Bella, and claim her as mine, give myself to her, find my own personal heaven sheathed inside her. The repressed monster gave a hard pull on the chains, but they held, and I growled at the sex fiend, willing it to move back into its assigned corner.

I moved my hands back to her waist to still her movements, and tore my mouth from hers. We were both breathing harder than usual. Her heart was racing, pumping frantically. She looked dazed.

"Bella," I whispered, struggling to catch my unnecessary breath. "We have to stop." I slid her warm body off me and rolled us both, until we were lying on our sides, facing each other. The depth of her eyes drew me back in, and I cradled her against me.

"I don't want to stop," she muttered, glaring at me. I chuckled at the familiar response, and answered truthfully.

"I don't either, sweetheart, but we have to get to the clearing. It's time to go."

It didn't take me long to get us there, but we were still the last to arrive. It was nearly a full moon, and Rainier field was softly lit by the light of the distant moon, shining through thin, hazy clouds. If it weren't for the reason we were here, it would have been a very romantic setting. Carlisle and Esme were standing off to the side, holding hands, deeply connected in quiet, loving communication, and I let them have the privacy they deserved.

Alice was chatting with Rosalie, while they were both lounging on the ground, and Emmett was mock-fighting with Jasper. Both of them were laughing. There was a chorus of mental recognition from the four of them, as I stepped out of the trees, Bella slung on my back.

The mutt and his two friends sat in wolf form at the edges of the clearing, spaced apart to be able to watch the action from different angles. All three of them looked up as we approached, and he-who-must-be-neutered threw me a glare.

"Why did you bring her? Why couldn't you let her sleep? Stupid bloodsucker."

Did the fleabag not know that Bella insisted on coming here with me? That she absolutely refused to be left behind?

A quick sweep of their minds showed anticipation, revulsion, burning noses from our scent, interest, admiration – their thoughts were all over the place. The remaining pack had stayed at the reservation – with their connected minds, they hadn't seen the need to all join us again. Sam had sent only Jacob Black and the two others, even though Jacob had offered to go alone.

"Where are the rest of the wolves?" Bella asked.

"They don't all need to be here. One would do the job, but Sam didn't trust us enough to just send Jacob, though Jacob was willing. Quil and Embry are his usual... I guess you could call them his wingmen."

"Jacob trusts you," she stated simply.

I nodded once. "He trusts us not to try to kill him. That's about it, though."

"You got that right, leech."

I did not appreciate his intrusion on my private conversation with Bella and threw him a quick glare.

"Oooh, scary."

I suppressed a sigh, and decided to ignore him. Bella squeezed my hand. "Are you participating tonight?" she asked, sounding hesitant, fearful.

"I'll help Jasper when he needs it. He wants to try some unequal groupings, teach them how to deal with multiple attackers." I shrugged. Bella's heartbeat sped up, and I quickly glanced at her face. The guilt was evident. Did she regret asking me to stay with her? Would she change her mind at the last minute?

Jasper looked at me questioningly. "What's with the sudden guilt? Is she still hung up on asking you to stay with her?"

I nodded. That was the most likely reason. I kept watching Bella's face and saw her eyes wander from my family to the wolves, ending on the filthy mutt. His mind registered the look, and his mouth fell open in another doggy smile. His thoughts were happy all of a sudden. He was thinking of the way she had felt in his arms the previous night during our test to obscure her scent trail, and the sudden jealousy erupted inside me. He was remembering her soft body in his strong arms and spun off into a fantasy starring Bella and himself in a compromising situation, until the mental whines of his two friends interrupted his vile musings.

"Ew, Jake, cut it out. That's just gross."

"Come on, man. Nobody wants to see that."

Both assessment were entirely accurate, in my humble opinion.

He must have noticed that Bella's return smile wasn't quite as genuine, which made him get up and trot over to where we were standing.

"Jacob," I greeted him. He ignored me completely, rude as always, and sat down in front of Bella, cocking his head, studying her face.

"What's the matter with you?" A small whine accompanied the thought.

I was about to translate, when Bella spoke. "I'm fine. Just worried, you know."

"That's really stupid. What's there to be worried about?" He kept staring at her, as though she could hear him.

"You gonna translate, bloodsucker?" he muttered impatiently inside his head.

"He wants to know why," I murmured. There was no way I would use the same words he'd thought. That was no way to talk to a lady. He clearly did not have proper manners. Perhaps he needed a lesson or two. His rudeness was grinding on my nerves.

The overgrown pup growled at my words, annoyed that I hadn't repeated his words. I fought a smile.

"What?" Bella asked, looking at me.

"He thinks my translation leaves something to be desired. What he actually thought was, 'That's really stupid. What is there to be worried about?' I edited, because I thought it was rude."

The corners of Bella's lips moved upwards, but she didn't smile. "There's plenty to be worried about. Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt."

All three wolves barked a laugh.

"Edward, I need your help for a moment, would you mind?" Jasper called silently.

I sighed, knowing I had offered him my assistance, reluctant to leave Bella alone with the mutt. "Jasper wants help. You'll be okay without a translator?" I looked at her, expecting her to ask me to stay.

"I'll manage," she replied.

I felt dismissed and stared at her for a long moment, fighting the jealousy that the dog's thoughts ignited, wondering if she was telling me the truth, or if she was acting out of guilt. I studied her face, and tried to find the answer in the deep lakes of her eyes. She seemed comfortable enough around her furry friend, and I certainly hoped that he wouldn't try anything inappropriate while surrounded by seven vampires.

"Yeah, go on, leech. You heard her," he sneered. I gritted my teeth at the insult as I turned and quickly made my way to Jasper. I kept an eye on Bella, and listened to their conversation. I had no shame, not when it came to her.

She sat down on the cold, hard ground, and I hissed in displeasure as I saw the shivers that ran down her spine. The dog wanted to get closer to watch, but looked back at her after taking a step towards where we were standing. He actually whined from indecision, torn between wanting to get closer to the action on the field, and using this chance to be close to Bella. If I hadn't been so jealous, it might have been funny.

"Go on without me," Bella said to him. "I don't want to watch."

That was odd – I wondered why she'd come with me. And then it dawned on me – she knew I wouldn't leave her home alone, unprotected. She knew that one of us would have to stay behind to watch over her, and it seemed likely in that moment that she was forgoing sleep to give us every opportunity to learn as much as possible to prepare for the upcoming battle. Again, I was awed by her selflessness.

The mutt had decided to stay by her side, noticing that she was uncomfortable, and laid down beside her with a rumbled sigh.

"I'll stay. Quil, Embry – make sure you catch everything you can when that bloodsucker begins his instructions."

They evidently agreed, and despite Bella's protest to the contrary, encouraging him to go head, he put his head on his oversized paws. When she shivered again, he scooted closer to warm her. The fire of jealousy burned inside me. He was providing for her in a way that I could not, and it made me feel useless.

"You with me, Edward?" Jasper asked. "Come on, focus. I wouldn't have called you over here if I didn't need you."

"Sorry, I was distracted," I replied. Rosalie snickered. Carlisle and Esme both suppressed a smile. Alice laughed. Emmett guffawed.

I felt like a fool.

"No kidding," Jasper smirked. "Shall we? I want you and Emmett to come at me from two sides, straight on, slowly though, so I can give you instructions how to fight off more than one at a time. Okay, guys, you see what I'm doing here? Don't let them come at you from the front, stay out of the way, don't let them get their strength to bear against you. Twist, turn, step – whatever you need to do to avoid getting crushed."

He continued his instructions, and I tried to focus, I really did, but my mind kept wandering off to check on Bella. She was leaning against his side now, pulling her fingers through his fur. He was humming contentedly, enjoying the feel of her against him. I snarled under my breath.

"Edward, control yourself," Alice hissed silently. "We gain nothing by antagonizing them, and you know he'll enjoy seeing you jealous."

Damn little pixie was right, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't want her touching him, nor did I approve of his close proximity to her. Whether he was in his furry form or not, I didn't want any part of him touching her.

I dedicated a portion of my mind to keep track of their conversation while Jasper kept changing the groupings, showing us how to evade a frontal attack. "The newborns will not be capable of anything but a direct attack. They won't be cunning – at least not to the extent a mature vampire could be... "

"You know, I never had a dog," Bella said, sounding wistful. "I always wanted one, but Renée's allergic."
The mutt laughed in response, his body shaking.

"Aren't you worried about Saturday at all?"

"Don't be stupid, Bella." He turned his head and rolled his eyes. It was such a human gesture, and felt out of place on such a horse-sized dog.

"I wish I could feel that positive," she told him, and it clarified to me that despite my assurances she was still very worried about one or more of us getting hurt. The pup leaned his large head against her leg, and I instinctively growled.

"Edward!" Alice hissed again. "Focus! She's fine."

Easier said than done. Bella reminded him of the plan, of him carrying her to the hiding spot, and that it might be a long hike for him, again proving that she didn't quite understand the capabilities of the wolves. He would have no problem at all carrying her, no matter how far. And it was only about nine miles. The wolves were strong. Thankfully so, in this particular situation.

He barked a laugh. Bella leaned closer to him, resting her head against his neck. They no longer spoke, but he had resumed his contented humming, and I hated him for it. I begrudged him his warmth, his ability to warm her, and I wished my skin were not so freezing, so I might be able to warm her myself.

Bella stared at the moon, the look on her face pensive. I wished I could know what she was thinking. In order to distract myself, I returned my attention to Jasper's instruction, and focused on helping my family as best as I could to be ready for battle.

A/N: What say you? Click on that green button to let me know. Reviews make me giddy!