In Which There's Wreckage

Albus

He was fucked. Royally, unequivocally, indisputably fucked.

Albus Severus Potter loved Alice Pomona Longbottom.

Damn it.

Not that there was anything wrong with that. She was smart, beautiful, and sharp as anything. The problem was that it was quite clear she didn't feel quite the same. Despite sleeping together nearly every night for the better part of a year, she'd made it obvious to him that she wasn't looking for anything real. This was just platonic. Or as platonic as two friends having sex could be. And they were having a lot of sex, of which Albus was proud. But it didn't make sense to him. They were together physically and emotionally. And, trying not to sound like a prat, didn't that kind of default them into being in a relationship? Wasn't that what a romance was?

Apparently, Alice didn't think so.

It appeared that Albus had missed his window. Albeit that window had been open when they were young. Al hoped that, since it'd been opened once, maybe it'd open again. But then again, maybe not.

Autumn had frozen into winter then melted again into the spring. Summer was around the corner and London was facing a heat wave. The months had gone by, and Alice seemed fine not defining whatever they were, at least not past "not-boyfriend."

Alice was over again. They were on his couch, passing a beer between them. The early summer heat had stifled them down in the pub. Albus' apartment had been cooled just like the year before, when they'd drank on his couch.

"So, Isabel's moving out tomorrow," Alice said.

Her feet rested on the coffee table, her head on his shoulder. Albus passed the warming beer back to her.

"Has Devon's replacement moved in yet?"

"Not for another week," Alice said with a sigh. "It's like a whole new chapter. I've lived with them for two and a half years."

"End of an era," Al accepted the beer from Alice.

Al shifted so his arm was on the back of the couch, displacing LB from his shoulder. She fit her head on his lap instead. Kicking her feet onto the arm rest, Alice closed her eyes. Albus watched her for a moment. She opened her eyes to find his green ones looking at her. He smiled.

"I think I might move," she said.

The smile fell a little. Panic flared in Albus' chest for a moment. He knew that they weren't together because of convenience, but if she moved, he'd no longer be a floor away. They wouldn't meet up in the bar. They'd have distance.

Another part of him didn't hate that though. Maybe it would mean they could meet outside of the apartment. Somewhere like a date. And this could turn into what he wanted it to be.

"I've been wanting to find a nicer place for a while now. 505's not cutting it," Alice said. She played with Al's hand for a moment, fitting it against her own and intertwining their fingers before letting it fall against her chest. Her hand rested on top of his.

For a brief moment, Albus considered asking her to move in with him. But it was a stupid thought he pushed away the moment after it popped into his head.

Sometimes it felt like Alice wanted the same thing he did. To be together, together. She'd cuddle with him, and laugh at him, and send him funny things she thought of during the day. She'd let him read a copy of her book. It'd been good.

Sometimes it felt like Alice might love him too.

Which hurt even more.
If he could pretend it was all in his head, it might make being with her easier. But Alice looked at him as if she didn't want to be anywhere else, touched him and caressed him and it made his heart swell. But then she'd say she was so happy to be single. Happy to not be in a committed relationship like Scorpius and Rose. Not be attached at the hip like they were. But Al and Alice were always together. They were in the same room most nights. They were at the pub or on a couch. When he wasn't at work, they'd be together. When he was, he'd be thinking of her and owling her and waiting for her. But she said she didn't want that. And Albus didn't know what to do.

And it hurt him. So much.

They sat together until the beer was empty. Then they stayed together until it was late enough that Alice's eyes began to droop.

Alice sat up, stretching. Albus kissed the back of her shoulder, exposed in her tank top. They walked together to his bedroom.

Then there were nights like this. They'd had them more frequently in the past few weeks. They'd go to one of their bedrooms together. No tongues down throats or hands roaming up backs and down legs. Just together. His arm slung around her shoulder. Her smiling up at him. Then they'd shut the door behind them, fully clothed, and get into bed. She had her side, he had his. They'd talk for a little, about their day or upcoming week. He'd kiss her forehead, she'd snuggle into his chest, and they'd go to sleep.

While Al liked the other, fumbling, loving, hot nights, he would be content with as many of these as she'd allow.

Someone was knocking on his bedroom door.

Why was someone knocking this early on a Saturday? Albus thought. There's no reason for this.

Albus mumbled something along the lines of "one second," before sitting up and exiting his warm bed. Alice groaned next to him. She peeped one eye open in question. He shrugged, before rummaging around on his floor for a t-shirt. He padded across the room, opening the door to find a paler-than-usual Scorpius.

That immediately set him on high alert.

"What?" He asked. "What's wrong."

"Mate," Scorpius said, his voice even. "There's someone in the living room for you."
Scorpius' eyes glanced back at Alice in bed. Albus turned around to see she'd sat up. It looked like she was about to get out of bed to join on him on his trek to the kitchen, but a glance at Scorpius told Al that was a bad idea. They'd been partners for years; Al could read Scorpius pretty well now. And the look he was giving said danger. Al didn't know what kind of danger, for him or for Alice or for whomever was in his flat, but it was enough for him to say to Alice: "It's fine, wait here."

Alice nodded. Albus knew her well enough to know she'd still follow, but not until he was out of ear shot.

Albus headed for the end of the hallway, where the flat widened out. He wasn't sure what to expect.

The first person he saw was Rose. She was standing in the doorway of the kitchen holding a cup of tea. She looked nervous and her smile was forced. Rose was talking to someone. Albus looked to the other end of the threshold. Meghan was standing in his living room. She wore a long skirt and white button up. Her hair was piled on top her head. She had a bundle in her hands. Albus couldn't tell what it was.

"Meghan?" He called in disbelief. Confused as to why his ex was standing in his flat this early on a weekend. "What are you- did you leave something-"

Al's questions stopped midway as soon as Meghan turned. It took half a second for Albus to realize what it was she was holding.

A baby.

Al heard a gasp behind him and knew it was Alice. He wanted to turn toward her. To hold her. To have her hold him. But he couldn't, instead he was rooted in place, looking at a baby with messy black hair and bright eyes.

Thinking he might vomit or faint, Albus grabbed the wall beside him.

"Is he- Is that-"

Any question Al wanted to ask seemed stupid. Of course, it was his. It looked just like him. And if Al's muddled brain could do any sort of math, it was about 10 months ago that he fell into Meghan's bed after his fight with Alice.

Al took a second to breath. A baby. His baby. His son, by the looks of it.

"Can I hold him?"

"If you think you can," Meghan said, a small smile on her face.

Albus thought he should be mad at Meghan. Furious she'd kept this from him for months. He wasn't sure what he would have said had she come to him in October with this, but he was angered he hadn't been given a chance to have a say. Because now he had a child and that was life altering. He was only twenty-two. But he wasn't going to abandon his child.

Meghan placed the baby boy into his arms. Al held his breath as he looked down at the small face that resembled his own.

"Hi baby," Al whispered. He held the small boy in his arms. Al's son reached a small hand outside of his tight blankets, and Al rested his finger on top of the exposed hand.

"What's his name?" he heard himself ask.

"Seamus. After my father."

"Seamus Potter, who would have thought?" Albus heard Rose mutter.

He'd forgotten that there were others in the room. For a moment it had just been him and his son. But his cousin's comment had drawn him back out. Suddenly he remembered Alice. His eye's left his sons and glanced around the room. He saw Alice actively avoid his gaze by slipping back down the hallway towards his room. If he wasn't mistaken, she'd wiped her eyes.

Albus glanced back down at Seamus. His small fist was clutching the light green blanket.

"I'll be right back, I promise," Albus said to his son, kissing his forehead lightly before handing him back to his mother.

"Can I just- give me a minute," Al glanced at Meghan for a moment, he'd have words for her later, but right now he had to focus on a woman much more important in his life.

Albus opened his door without knocking. Alice quickly turned away from him, towards the back wall. She was on her side of the bed, bent over, rummaging around on the floor. He walked up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders, she stood up straight at his touch. Her body was shaking. He wrapped his arms around the front of her, hugging her to his chest. She sobbed quietly in his arms for a few moments, before taking a succession of breaths and breaking herself free.

"I'm sorry," Alice said with shaky breath. "I should- I don't know. I can't-"

Albus didn't let her finish.

"It's ok, we'll figure it out," He placed his hands on her arms, rubbing them softly. "Hey, we'll deal with this together."

"We're not together though," She wouldn't look at him.

That stung. Albus knew that, of course he knew that. They're not-togetherness was all he thought about.

"I don't know what to say," Albus took a step back, dropping his hands. This allowed her to continue her task on the floor. Albus realized she was picking up her things, placing them into a bag. Clothing she'd left behind, a folder from work, some hair pins.

"Can we just-" he began, but she interrupted.

"We're not together, we just sleep together sometimes," Alice said, still focusing on the bedroom floor.

"We both know this is more than sex."

"Do we?" Finally, she looked up at him. "I just- I can't do this."

Alice motioned to the space between them. Albus felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He stepped forward again.

"I love-"

"Don't," She sobbed, putting out a hand stopping his movements and his words. "Please, just don't."

Her hand fell to her side, clenching and unclenching as if she was trying to control her emotions through that steady pattern.

"It doesn't matter anymore. It's too late. We both know you're going to do what's right, and that doesn't involve me," Alice spoke with finality. "I don't belong here, with you, with them."

Albus felt like he was drowning. He reached out to touch her but stopped. Alice knew him well; he'd do what was right. For Meghan, for the baby. For them.

"I-" He began.

"You're going to the right thing because that's just who you are Albus Severus Potter," She was still crying, tears pooled in her eyes, falling down her cheeks. But her voice was steady when she said, "You do what's right, for everyone but yourself."

They stood in silence for a moment.

"Everything happens for a reason," Alice continued breathlessly. "Maybe we were never supposed to be together. You broke my heart as a child. Maybe we're getting out of this before we realize I'd never fully trust you. Maybe we both need to be apart. It's not my place to ask you to stay, as much as I might want-"

Alice's face fell, unable to get the words out anymore, she buried her face in her hands.

Albus wanted to reach for her, hold her, take away this pain. But he couldn't. His heart was breaking too.

Alice pulled herself together, removing her hands from her face. Her eyes were red and puffy, her lips were shaking.

"Take care," she managed.

Alice stepped in closer to him. One of her hands rested on his arm, the other on the nape of his neck, pulling him slightly closer. Alice kissed him on the cheek. It was wet from both of their tears, her lips stayed frozen against him for a moment, she was shaking. Albus couldn't do anything but stand there. She fell back onto her heals. Her hand rested on his arm for a moment before she walked past him and out of his bedroom door.

Alice left the door open. He heard her walk into the living room.

He imagined Alice smiling softly at Meghan, cooing softly at the baby, offering her congratulations. Alice could never resist a baby. He knew she would make quick eye contact with Rose, one of her oldest friends. Rose would see the pain there. He could imagine Alice walking out the door, Rose following quickly on her heals.

Albus didn't have to imagine the door slamming behind them, he heard that loud and clear, followed quickly by the sound of a crying baby.