Ok, I haven't been well this week, so bear with me. This is a sort of 'fill in' chapter. I had originally planned to leave this one out, cuz it's not very good, but the chapter after this starts in March and I couldn't exactly leave a month gap. Those who want a romantic valentines for Tonks, sorry, but no! This is to be realistic, and Valentines either sucks or is a joke to single people. Let's see what Tonks comes up with...

Edited: 27/04/11

Mixed Feelings

"Matthew James Dobbins get this thing away from ME!" screamed the unmistakable voice of Layla Simpkins, coming from the corridor outside my cubicle. I jumped up, and slid my cubicle door open to see Layla running towards Matthew, who was standing almost opposite my cubicle, talking to Dawlish. Her eyes looked murderous, and there was a tiny fairy circling her head, showering her with tiny confetti hearts. Mini Cupid! How sweet.

She ran straight up to Matthew and slapped him repeated on his left arm, with a heavy looking book. It was a book of Ministry rules, and I was intrigued that there was a book, but that's not the reason I removed it from her hands. Matthew looked at me gratefully, but I then whacked him upside the head with it.

"Ouch! What was that for?" he said, indignantly.

"You annoyed Layla. And, it looked like fun" I shrugged. I then handed the book back to Layla, Matthew cringed as if Layla was going to hit him again, but she didn't. Dawlish just muttered something that sounded like 'immature' and stalked off.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Dawlish!" I shouted after him. I couldn't resist. Both Layla and Matthew laughed heartily, before Layla turned back to Matt.

"Matt, please make this thing go away" begged Layla. Matt smirked and shook his head.

"Hey Tonks, I see you got a personalised memo of doom" Matt said, cheerfully. I held up the parchment and grinned. It was my very own memo; well, my first personal one anyway. Matt had gotten so many that he could paper his cubicle with them. "What's it say?"

"Immature behaviour is unbecoming in an Auror" I read out. He laughed loudly.

"Please Matt" begged Layla. "Make him stop".

"Oi, cupid wannabe" I said to the little fairy, which turned to glare at me. "Go pester someone else".

"Who would you like me to pester, madam?" it asked, politely, taking me by surprise. I thought about it for a moment, while Matt looked gobsmacked that it was being polite to me. I had to go for an Order meeting in about ten minutes, and Kingsley would still be in his office. It would give everybody a laugh.

"Kingsley Shacklebolt" I said, smugly, pointing at Kingsley cubicle. It flew off.

"Hey, you're meant to work for me" Matt shouted, but it ignored him and went into Kingsley's office. After a few seconds there was a girlish scream that made everyone in the department jump out of their chairs.

"NYMPHADORA TONKS!" Kingsley screamed.

"I think that's my cue to leg it" I said, conversationally. Matt and Layla snorted and pushed me towards the lifts. I sprinted up the corridor and stepped into the lift just as Kingsley burst out of his office. Luckily the lift doors closed, and it began to move before Kingsley could see me. I was just asking for trouble, especially because he would get me at the meeting. I guess I hadn't really thought it through. Still, it was pretty funny.

I sprinted through the Atrium, my cloak billowing behind me, heading for the door onto the London streets. As soon as I step out onto the street, I apparated to Grimmauld Place. Landing on the deserted street, I gave myself several seconds breathing time before jogging up the steps of no.12. I walked carefully down the hall, stumbling only once on the troll leg umbrella stand, and as I put my hand on the kitchen door, I heard the front door open from behind me. Panicking slightly, I burst through the kitchen door and slammed it behind me.

Before anyone could say anything, I sprinted over to Remus and Sirius, shouting 'hide me'. I dived in between their chairs and under the table.

"I'm not here" I whispered, frantically. They didn't have chance to reply, as the door opened and shut again.

"Where is she?" asked the deep, and slightly hysterical, voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt.

"To whom are you referring too?" Remus asked, calmly.

"I know she's here" said Kingsley; I saw his legs move up and down the room, while tiny paper hearts floated to the floor. It took me everything I had not to laugh, and give myself away. Then Kingsley stopped in front of me, on the opposite side of the table, and lifted up the cloth. I stayed still, though it was no good, I knew was busted. But he just looked straight through me, as if I wasn't there, and got back up again.

"Well, she'll have to turn up sometime" he said, annoyance present in his voice. I looked at Remus, who was tucking his wand back in his pocket, then down at my body. I nearly gasped. I was invisible, well, near enough. Trust Remus to be quick thinking, and disillusion me. I would have to repay him later.

More people starting filing in for the meeting, but I didn't reappear. I sat under the table, watching legs, and being pushed about by chairs. The one opposite me tucked in so far, I was pushed right up against Remus's legs. Not that I minded. Emmeline had come to sit beside him, and I tied the laces of her boots together. I knew it was a very childish thing to do, but I knew that it would be amusing. Then I thought better of it. I mean, I know I didn't like her, but if she stood up and tried to walk, she could hurt herself. Reluctantly, I untied her laces again.

The meeting was dull, and seemed to drag on longer than usual, but that was probably just because I was under the table. I rested my head on Remus's knee, and after a while I became aware that I was tracing patterns up and down his leg with my fingers. Remus's sharp intake of breath stopped all the talking from above the table. I realised my hand was further up his leg than I realised. Not that far, you dirty minded people, but far enough.

"Sorry" he said to the Order. "I have a slightly twinge in my leg". They began discussing other matters once more, and I hastily removed my hand from his leg. I then decided I'd try and cover up my embarrassment, which only Remus and I knew about, by poking Sirius sharply in the thigh.

"Ouch! Bugger me" he shouted, and the talking stopped again.

"Is there something you'd like to share with us, Sirius?" asked Dumbledore, and though I couldn't see him, I knew his eyes would be twinkling. I fell about under the table, in a silent fit of giggles.

"No, Albus, nothing" he said.

"Nymphadora, get out of there!" growled Mad-eye. I cringed. Damn him, and his stupid magical eye. Why did he have to call me up now? I crawled in between Sirius and Remus, and pulled myself uneasily up, using the edge of the table for support. Some of the Order members gasped, and I had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. I stood up and Remus summoned a chair for me. I took it gratefully, avoiding everybody's eyes.

"Would you care to explain why you were under the table, Miss Tonks?" asked Dumbledore, curiously. As predicted, his eyes were twinkling.

"Hiding" I muttered, looking down at my lap.

"Tonks" said the voice of Kingsley. "Get. This. Thing. Away. From. Me". I looked up to see the mini cupid was still there, and Kingsley was hardly visible through all the confetti.

"Charming. You offer a little love and he throws it back in your face" said the cupid, shaking his head.

"It's ok. Leave him alone now" I said. Cupid looked sad, and came and sat on my shoulder. I patted it lightly on the head and turned towards Dumbledore, who chuckled appreciatively.

"The meeting is over. If you missed anything while you were under there, I'm sure Remus could fill you in" said Dumbledore, before he swept from the room.

"Oh" was all I said, as people began moving about. What was the point of me getting out from under the table, it was comfy down there. Emmeline got up from her place and then fell onto the floor. I gasped, and realised I hadn't tied her shoe laces up again; I'd only untied them from each other. She turned on the floor and glared at me, as Remus helped her up off the floor.

She ran from the room, and slammed the door behind her. Guilt flooded through me, I knew what it was like to be embarrassed in front of people. I got up and followed her, without meeting anybody's eyes. The drawing room door was shut, and I went over to it, opening it hesitantly. Emmeline was standing near the fireplace, her head bowed.

"Emmeline, I'm really sorry" I said, sincerely. I heard her sigh, shakily. She turned towards me, but said nothing. "I shouldn't have done it, it was very immature of me and I hope you'll forgive me".

"It's okay Tonks, I deserved it" she muttered. "I've been awful to you, haven't I?"

I wasn't going to lie. "Yes" I said, simply. "Why?"

"I don't know, I guess I just jumped to conclusions about you" she said.

"And I did about you. I guess we both acted awful towards each other" I said, moving closer towards her. "Could we start over?" She nodded and held out her hand, I shook it and smiled. She gave a watery chuckle.

"I feel like an infant" she said, wiping her eyes. "I hardly ever cry".

"Yeah, well, you were embarrassed. I get that" I said, she gave a smile that clearly said 'I know'.

"I better get going" she said, suddenly, looking down at her watch. I walked with her to the door in silence, but it was comfortable and the awkwardness that I'd once felt, was almost gone. She opened the door, and made to leave, but turned back to me.

"Look after him, Tonks" she whispered, and then left. I shut the door behind her, I felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Maybe my Order life would be easier now. Look after him Tonks. What did she mean? Could she really be talking about...?

"That was a good thing you did" Remus said, coming up behind me. I turned towards him.

"No it wasn't. It was horrible, and I shouldn't have done it" I said.

"Oh yes, it was a bit mean, but you took responsibility and you apologised. Did Emmeline tell you why she acted so cold towards you?"

"No, Professor. And we Hufflepuffs don't push people into saying stuff...much". He laughed appreciatively, and nodded holding his arms open. He pouted at me to give him a hug, and I couldn't refuse those eyes.

I lent my head against his chest and held him tightly. It was an amazing feeling, hugging someone, and never wanting to let go. You felt warm and safe. All too soon he pulled away. I looked into his chocolate coloured eyes, his head inches away from mine. His hand came up and caressed my cheek. Mini cupid came out of the kitchen and sat back on my shoulder, chucking confetti about. I took a step away from Remus.

"I'd better be going" I said, quietly. I turned and walked towards the door, and had to fight the urge to turn back and kiss him, and damn the consequences. My heart beat rapidly against my rib cage.

"Tonks" he said, and I tried to stop myself turning around, but my body refused to listen to my head. "Happy Valentine's day" he whispered.

"Happy Valentine's day, Remus" I replied, and then hastily left, wondering what on earth was happening to me.

It was cold and dark out. The street lamps provided very little light, but I could see the road ahead. I didn't know what had made me come out tonight, just that so many confusing thoughts were fogging up my brain, and I needed air. London was creepy at night, especially when you're not in the centre of it.

I found my feet taking me in the direction of Grimmauld Place, and I didn't try to stop them. I really wanted to see Sirius. I wasn't so sure about Remus. My hand instinctively reached up to my neck, and clasped around my locket. Remus confused me, he gave me all these signals and then ...nothing. I sighed, my breath was icy. It was still technically winter, but it was so cold. I was at the corner of Grimmauld Place, and as I walked on, I could have sworn it was getting colder.

And then I saw it, hovering over a lifeless form that was lying in the middle of the pavement, opposite Grimmauld Place. My hand reached my mouth, as I looked at the body. From what I could tell it was a woman, wearing laced boots, one had fallen off.

Emmeline. "Emmeline" I screamed, running towards the Dementor. I pulled out my wand and pointed it at the Dementor but nothing but a wisp of smoke came out. Think Tonks think, think happy! But it was hopeless, she was going to die. Icy breathe on my face. My heart chilled with dread and despair. No Tonks don't give up. A woman cackled, and there was a flash of green. No, it's just a dream. What makes you happy...think!

"Expecto patronum" I roared, my meerkat jumped out of my wand and shot straight at the Dementor. It was beaten back and glided away. My meerkat stayed floating through the air around me for a couple of seconds, and then vanished. I ran over to Emmeline and put her arms around my shoulders. I then lifted her legs up and carried her up the steps of Grimmauld Place. It was safe to say she was heavy. I kicked open the door.

"SIRIUS!" I screamed, Mrs Black started screaming too, but I didn't care. "Sirius!" Three people burst out of the room in front of me. Remus, Sirius and Molly.

"Help her, please. Please, help her" I kept repeating, Molly and Sirius took Emmeline from me hastily, taking her into the drawing room. Remus stayed staring at me, my knees buckled. I realised I was shaking, but I couldn't stop. The images washed over me. Remus was kneeling beside me.

"Tonks? Tonks, can you hear me?" his voice echoed as if through a tunnel. I nodded weakly. "Tonks, come on". He tried to lift me, but I refused to move.

"There was a Dementor... its icy breath on my face...I thought she was dead...no point fighting". My words came shakily out, I felt his arms wrap around me, as I was pulled into his warm embrace. I didn't protest but clung to him like a little child, sobbing weakly.

"Shh Dora, shh. It's alright; I won't let it hurt you. You're safe now" he whispered, soothingly. I buried my face in his neck. He picked me up off the floor, and carried me into the same room that Sirius and Molly had just taken Emmeline. Emmeline was lying on the sofa, covered in blankets, having some strange liquid being poured down her neck. Her breathing became steadier. Remus sat me in the armchair by the fire, while Molly came over with a blanket and tucked it around me. Remus moved away to check on Emmeline, and I watched him go.

"You ok, dear?" Molly asked, startling me slightly.

"Yes Molly, how's Emmeline?" I replied.

"She'll be fine, it's lucky you found her when you did. Did any Muggles see you?" she asked.

"I don't think so" I said, uncertainly. I looked over at Remus, who was hitting Sirius with a pillow. Sirius had spilled some of the potion on Remus. Remus glanced over at me and when he saw me looking he smiled, before turning back to Sirius and Emmeline.

Molly sighed. "Don't worry dear, I still can't figure them out" Molly said, vaguely. She patted the blanket around my legs, and left the room. I thought about what she'd just said, it was kind of odd. Did she know? When she came back she handed me a mug of hot tea, and then went to check Emmeline. I watched the three of them closely, Molly and Sirius arguing about something I wasn't listening too, and Remus checking Emmeline's temperature.

I wanted to be wrapped in Remus's arms again, but I couldn't. I looked into the fire, thinking about the memory I chose for my Patronus. I didn't understand why the first one didn't work. It was usually the one where Hufflepuff won the match against Ravenclaw, and how happy I was. I was a beater at the time. But that memory hadn't worked.

Think about what makes me happy...

Three guesses as to what that was.

Okay, so thanks to my reviewers. I'm saying thanks here instead of at the top, but whoo! I didn't really like this chapter, but the next chapter I've been planning for ages and can't wait to start writing. Emmeline and Tonks are no longer mortal enemies, yay! I needed them to stop fighting now, I'll explain why another time. Please review XD