Disclaimer : I don't own it.

Dear Diary,

You know, I think it only just set in that I'm changing. I mean, I heard the words as they were spoken, but it never really sank in until now. Even as I struggled to ignore the ever increasing pain in my head, all I could think about was the fact...I was loosing myself. Or so it felt. I wouldn't be human anymore, soon. I...am honestly beyond not believing any of this, though if it all turned out to be some insane coma dream, I think I'd lose my mind. What I really had trouble believing was not only am I actually here, with the Autobots, but I am actually turning into one.

My hands looked human. Five fingers, or rather, four fingers and a thumb for those sticklers out there. They were coated with skin, bent at every joint just like they should have been able to. My wrist didn't work any different. In fact, nothing in my body seemed to work any different...well, except my stomach. That's just yet another thing I need to adapt to. I've had no appetite since coming here. This must really be taking a toll.

I keep expecting to lose my mind. To just...snap. Go insane. Looney.

I'm in every girl's -and most men's- fantasy. I'm living with giant alien robots who turn into kickass cars. I'm part of a top secret military facility with aliens. My guardian is the Sunstreaker, complete with snooty attitude and gorgeous alternate form. And to top it all off, I'm turning into one of them! Wait...did that mean I'd end up in some romance with one of them? I mean, soon I won't even be able to mate with a human, let alone get romantically involved.

And worst of all, there are only a few Autobots to chose from. Optimus was rumored to have Elita-One, her whereabouts and living status currently unknown. Ironhide -that hardass dumbaft- had Chromia, who as far as I know is alive and well and on her way to Earth. Bumblebee was a sweety, but would he even transfer over to a comparable age? I mean, he was what they'd call a 'teen' right? Millenia old or not, he was still so very young in their eyes. Not to mention, what about fanfictions with Arcee as his mate? Speculation of course, but still... That left... As far as I knew for the bots on Earth and the bots coming... Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Jolt, The Chevy twins...

Ok, the last ones aren't really an option, as the shudders running through my body proove.

Let's not even get into Ratchet...

Ok, seriously bad thoughts. Time to move on.

What is with this migraine?

-Bella

Ow, ow, double ow, triple-ok, that's enough. Sitting up, I inhaled sharply, my eyes clenched shut. The agony was frightening. I know I'd taken something for the pain, but it wasn't doing jack squat for my headache. If nothing, this had to be the worst migraine in history, but I was still wary about going to Ratchet about it.

Said bot was sitting curled up in his make shift medical bay, knees drawn to his chest, back pressed against the corner, and head drooping. His optics were dark, and almost all the sounds but for a quiet hum had left his body.

I winced again as another throb ran through my body, both out of pain and out of a combination of fear and guilt. Fear, because the absolute last thing I needed was Ratchet throwing a hissy fit over a headache, and guilt because I'd have to wake him up in order to tell him about it.

I stared at him a long moment, and even through my pain, I couldn't help but question the last time he'd honestly recharged through the night. Flopping back down on the bed, I began to rub at my temples, trying oh so hard to sooth away at least some of the pain.

There was no way of telling what time it was right about now. My purse with my cell phone was all the way across the room, and apparently Ratchet didn't see fit to have any clocks in here. I suppose with internal clocks it made it sort of moot point, but still... Humans don't have internal clocks.. Well, uh, ok, not the kind that tell time, anyways.

Shaking my head, I don't really know how long I was sitting there, thinking, but I'd had enough. As wary as I was about incurring Ratchet's wrath, I was in serious pain and needed to do something about it.I sat up, looking around. It was dark out, the only thing I could make out in the small window; probably the middle of the night. Glancing back up at Ratchet, I grimaced, before sliding off my little military cot, and stumbling with a groan.

It seemed that was all that was needed.

Ratchet jerked with a surprisingly loud clank of metal on cement, and his optics lit brightly, quickly. Startled, I just sat on the ground before sliding into a laying position, blinking up at him. It didn't last long though, and I hissed sharply, rubbing at my temples again.

"Isabella, are you in pain?"

"No." I grunted and hissed. "I thought I'd sit on the floor with my cheek pressed to the filthy linoleum for the hell of it. It's surprisingly fun!" I growled a little at him, before whimpering and pressing the heel of one hand to my head.

He seemed to ignore my catty comment. I felt the tell tale tingle and frowned, clenching my teeth together against the pain. "Hm." The ground shook, and I heard him move. "Scans show the radiation is currently concentrated within your cerebral-"

"Head, Ratchet." I slid over on my side. Pressing my cheek to the cool floor, I closed my eyes, now digging my heels of my palms into my head. "It's...easier just to say 'head'. And yeah, I kinda noticed." I couldn't really tell if my voice was extra loud, or if that was just the migraine settling in. Either way, ow!

There was a hint of a groan, and it sounded annoyed. "It appears this may yet be another 'attack'."

"I sure as hell hope not. The last thing I want is to go back to that weird desert." And it was true, too. Every time I went there, something beyond funky happened to me. Most people might be happy with that kind of attention, but not me. I just wanted to be left alone. Plus...Jazz had yet to be repaired enough to wake up. "I took pain meds, but it didn't work." Way to state the obvious, dumbass.

"I don't suppose it would, now would it? Not with what's happening to your body. However, I don't feel comfortable giving you anything strong. I have no idea how it will effect your body." I braved a glance up, thankful it was still dark in the room. His bright blue optics were hovering over me now. "Why are you lying on the floor?"

"The floor's cool."

"Be that as it may, I don't see what is so interesting about it. That is rather unsanitary-"

"Tell me about it. Who knows who you've stepped on recently." I grinned and giggled, groaning in pain a little when he paused, actually checking his foot pads, before shaking his head. "Not that kind of 'cool', Ratchet. It's pleasantly chilled." Then I frowned, before almost crawling to a new spot. "Or, it was." There was a flash in my peripheral and I once again glanced up, my mind more focused on the pain in my head, than the man before me. "Oh, hey mini-Ratchet."

He crouched, a frown on his holographic face. I wondered, briefly, if they came to Earth with holographic bodies? Or if that was something they figured out in seconds of arrival. They hadn't been here long, and I'd already seen Sunstreaker's, Optimus' and Ratchet's holographic forms. Forms none of them used at all in the movie, that I was aware of.

"You are in pain."

I couldn't tell if the statement was just a statement, or a question, so I just remained quiet and nodded, whimpering as another powerful ache ran through my head. The tingle followed suit, and the whimper turned into an admittedly weak growl. Now I had an almost painful itchy feeling in my head, rather than just painful. I could have smacked Ratchet, if I didn't already know it'd hurt me worse than him.

"This is odd. It doesn't seem to be progressing."

It feels like it's progressing to me. I thought, rubbing at my temples, while rolling over to a new, cool patch on the floor. The pain seemed to have settled at a really intense state, and there was an almost unbearable pressure behind my eyes that had me furrowing my eyebrows almost instinctively.

"This does not sit well with me."

"Imagine how I feel!" The words were out before I'd had a chance to attempt to think them through, and I grimaced both in pain, and the venom behind them. "I'm sorry. It just...hurts. A lot. Is there anything you can do? I mean, I'll take the freakin' risk with pain meds. Seriously! I feel like the pain itself is gonna kill me!"

"Now you are just being over dramatic." However, I could hear him moving, and soon, I felt my arm being grabbed. "If this is what you really want-" He didn't even finish, before I felt a small, sharp prick in my arm. If it wasn't for the pain in my head, I might have recoiled. Needles weren't exactly my cup of tea, thank you very much. "You should feel some effect within moments."

No sooner did he speak the words, then I felt a rush of cool releif soar through me. It was a little embarrassing to admit, but I actually sighed in relief, sagging back into a boneless mess on the floor as the pain dulled incredibly. It didn't disappear completely, but I actually felt like I might just like through it all.

"Oh my God, thank you so much!" I didn't even try to move, feeling the numbness roll over my body with the lack of pain. I could have asked about the sudden feeling like I was just too damn tired to move, but I knew well enough that most incredibly strong pain killers also came with a sedative. I just lay there, perfectly content to remain sprawled out on the hard floor for the rest of the night.

However, there was a sigh, and I jolted a little, one eye popping open of it's own accord, as I felt something lightly prodding at my side. "Wha-?" I gazed up at the bright blue optics, watching as they seemed to dance back and forth before me. Damn! He used the really good shit! Hopefully it wasn't morphine though. The last thing I needed was to wake up as a giant alien robot with hives.

The fingers curled around me, slipping underneath me and picking me up. I'll probably laugh tomorrow about the sudden raggedy Anne feeling that ran through me as I hung limply from his hand, but for now I just ignored it as he lifted me up, depositing me back on the cot behind me once more.

I think I thanked him. I'm not sure. I don't really remember if I said anything or not, or if it was even intelligable. The room spun and swayed, and I watched Ratchet's optics shimmy in front of me for a moment, before just closing my eyes.

(Normal POV)

He watched as the femme seemed to slip peacefully into unconsciousness. He'd given her the strongest Earth pain killers he dared, and was amazed it actually worked. Especially considering the cause of the headache was literally alien in nature, and not the normal causes that medication was made for.

He frowned, watching as she recharged seemingly peacefully. Her spark-rate had slowed to what humans deemed normal for during their recharge hours, and her breathing was deep and even. He could still see the way her eyebrows furrowed now and then, and he knew she was still in pain.

Venting, he made a mental report, before pinging it over the communications line to await Optimus' onlining so he could read it. Then he sat down. It was awkward to sit with his legs crossed, they really weren't built for that position, but he remained where he was, watching as she recharged and scanning her every thirty Earth minutes.

It took him a few hours to realize that the progress was slow going in her cerebral cortex. The radiation was spreading, slowly encompassing her entire skull radius, but it was moving. He could also tell that nanites seemed to be forming in her mind, those spreading rapidly, and very slowly and almost painstakingly, they were transforming her. First to change over his vigilant watch was her skull plating. It was already basically a shell of Cybertronian steel around her sensitive brain, but it seemed to transform even more. It began to thicken, forming retractable plates much as any Cybertronian would have, as well as typical sensor nodes.

Next was her brain itself. It was beyond even his processor capabilities to understand how she was living through all this, but he began a nearly continuous scan as segment after segment of her brain was being over run with nanites. There was no real transformation there, just yet. They just seemed to be working, but even as he 'watched', miniscule amounts of Cybertronian metals were appearing under or around them, on the brain itself.

More than once, he ended up on his feet, cursing every ancient Cybertronian Prime he knew, her 'heart' shuddering and skipping beats. It stopped a few times, calling for him to jump and quickly work to restart it. The last time, he nearly gave up when her heart refused to beat again, when his last attempt got it started. It had taken almost two minutes though, and he feared some kind of permanent damage from it. That would come later, however. Right now, she was still changing.

His spark was shaking with the strain of what he was facing. He was a strong bot, but he was an old bot, and this kind of strain was really wearing on him. Venting deeply, he shuttered his optics, listening to her heart beat unsteadily, and reading the constant scans as her mind setting worked overtime.

Then he realized that it was spreading quickly. What was taking several Earth hours to encompass her skull in it's entirety, was now moving much more quickly, working it's way down to her human heart. This is where he tensed. The brain was incredibly important yes, but it was the heart, like their Cybertronian sparks, that drove the human body.

He leaned over her, breathing deeply. He could see the sweat on her pale face, which was now screwed up in even more pain than before. Gritting his dental plates, he hissed a little. 'Ratchet to Prime, we have a situation.' The larger bot could always go back to recharge after, but this was important. Optimus needed to be made aware of it.

There was a moment of tense silence, Ratchet's optics scanning over her body again and again. It hit him then that, her skin had paled considerably. She was tanned, like Mikeala Banes, but as she changed, her skin seemed to lighten into a rather fair tone. Whether her skin tone was changing under strain and pain, or it was just a part of the transformation, he had no way of knowing. Her face was beaded with sweat, and his scans kept him informed as her heart changed.

The rest of her organs had only begun basic changing. The shells just beginning to form as Cybertronian version, or in the case of some of these organs, they began to shrink and shrivel. That progress was even slower than that of the radiation changing her skull plating, however. Ratchet was also more than aware as her blood, which had remained tainted with energon since her exposure, had begun to thicken, slowing it's progress through her veins.

His dentals creaked ominously with the pressure of his gritting, even as he got to work. He was about to comm Optimus again when the sluggish reply was finally sent.

'I received the file attachment. Her transformation has started?' The tone was weary, and his medical side immediately stiffened, noting it.

He roughly shoved that aside however, as it was him who woke the Prime up. 'Her transformation is processing much more aggressively than I am comfortable with-Slag!' Even as he spoke, her heart gave one last pump and stopped. He lurched forward, reaching out with his fingers transformed into pincers to grab the human defibrilator, when he paused cold. A fresh scan had come back, and he sat there, frozen solid, shock causing his systems to nearly stall.

Sure, he knew it would eventually happen, with her transforming, but he'd never expected it to just...be there. How had he missed it before? Had he missed it, or was it somehow shielded through her changing?

'Ratchet?'

He stared down at the femme, repeatedly reading over his scans, optics wide with the shock he was feeling. Impossible. He scanned her again, carefully around her still heart, noting it was shrinking and seemed to be eating away at itself. I'd have noticed. I've been scanning her carefully, I'd have noticed! Why was the energy centered in her cranium when the main change seemed to be happening within her chest cavity?

'Ratchet?'

He could have sagged in on himself as he fell back, suddenly understanding all too well how the femme felt when her pain was lessened. He stared down at her, no longer concerned, even as her heart slowly shrank down until it hit her new heart, curling around it and burning away into nothing, the rest of her organs seemingly unaffected, so far. All along. He shook his head. 'I believe I have found her shard of the Allspark.' His exrays showed the jagged shard, covered with a round shell emitting a purely Cybertronian energy signature.

He quickly collected his scans from his processor and filed them all into a data burst, sending it Optimus' way, before leaning down again. This time, his frown was of a different concern, and he opened a side panel on his own body, staring down at the clear, glowing blue-green tubes.

It's necessary. She already had a spark, so he had to try. The way her blood was now beginning to thin, the actual blood slowly evaporating into thin air, the energon was not enough to make it through her system. There was no telling how she'd react to his energon, but he didn't have a choice.

Selecting a cable, he quickly worked to hook up an intravenus directly over her spark, and inserted a needle into one of the tiny ports in her spark, through her skin and muscle. She flinched ever so slightly, but otherwise remained still, however her spark pulse wildly and he stopped until he was certain it was safe to proceed.

He hook up the other end to his own system, feeding a very miniscule amount of energon directly into her spark, and the energy nearly jumped right off his scanners. Encouraged, he fed a little more, watching warily, raptly, as it began to flow through her body.

It seemed to irritate her veins after a few moments, however, and his frown deepened, as he pulled away. It would eat away at her veins if he kept up the transfer, he needed to dilute it. He unhooked his energon lines from her body and seemed to contemplate the issue at hand.

'You've found it?' Optimus took so long to react, his reaction actually startled Ratchet. 'Where?'

Getting an idea, Ratchet reached over to a small freezer filled with different bags of human blood. He selected one compatible and opened one end, feeding his energon into it, before he hooked the other end up to her own body. Even as the blood in the bag turned an odd purple, he monitored her vital signs. 'Within her body. It seems the reason the Allspark radiation and the energon has reacted as it did, is because the shard had somehow imbedded itself deep within her human heart, feeding off her, and transforming in the process.'

'I see. And how is she doing?'

'Pit if I know! This is all new to me!' His irritation was getting the better of him. If it had been something purely Cybertronian, anything purely Cybertronian... Or purely human for that matter... He'd had millenia to work on his knowledge of Cybertronian mechanis and anatomy, perfecting his works. He'd had weeks to 'google' and 'research' everything he could possibly need to know abou humans, but this? Something of both species? He had no idea where to begin treating.

'I don't see this sort of transformation every day. I am doing all I can to keep her online, but...' He vented as her spark hummed dangerously once again, before settling down. 'I need to account for multiple possibilities. Her body is rejecting her human blood, yet isn't ready for pure energon. Her organs are slowly shrinking and their processes appearing to slow, yet there is no telling how her body will react to their sudden loss.'

There was silence on the other end of the link, and a sound outside the door caught Ratchet's attention. He raised the level of his scan, and turned it on the wall, x-raying it and spotting the Ferrari on the other side, seeming to shift on it's wheels ever so slightly.

There in itself would be another issue. How would Sunstreaker treat his charge, knowing she was no longer human? Would he be more accepting, or less?

'I have faith in your abilities, Ratchet. If anyone can save her, it is you, my friend.'

The confidence did little to reassure him, however, and he was fairly certain it was tangible through the link. Even he was aware of how tense he was. Instead of replying, he sent what gratitude he felt, before silencing his comm, watching over her as the blood and energon mix began to enter her system.

There was only one way to know for sure if this would work. Time would tell.

Written : Aug 8, 2010

Hope you like it.

R+R Please

Thank you

Tenshi