Warning note: The following chapter includes heavy swearing and sexual references as part of soldier banter.
Please also note that some of the dialogue refers to the events in chapters 9 (Tusken Raiders), chapter 11 (Dewbacks, Droids and Jawas) and chapter 13 (Shame and Dishonour).
CHAPTER 21 – HARMONY
The next day, we awoke and prepared to go to the mess for our morning rations. For some reason, Yalasa and Harmony were called to see Lieutenant Denlin, so the rest of us went to the mess without them. We all sat together in the mess and spoke while we ate our rations. I sat opposite Timor in the middle of the table, while Bloor, Manadala and Davos sat to our left. Well rested from the previous day, we were all in good spirits.
"I wonder why Lieutenant Denlin asked to see Yalasa?" Asked Timor. "Perhaps he is going to demote her at last."
"I doubt it." Said Bloor. "The Lieutenant has always looked on female troopers with favour."
"I don't know why. I mean, can you believe that they made a woman a corporal?" Timor asked rhetorically. "It just doesn't make sense. Unless of course he's banging her"
I shrugged as I ate my rations. I was not generally in favour of female NCOs of course, but I was not going to openly criticise the decisions of Lieutenant Denlin. The other men muttered under their breaths, but did not say anything coherently. Realising that he was not going to get a reaction, Timor changed the focus of the discussion.
"I mean, I bet she didn't even play as a stormtrooper when she was a kid." Timor looked at each of us as he ate. "Any true loyal soldier of the Empire must have played at stormtroopers as a child. Can you imagine Yalasa playing at being a stormtrooper? "
No one answered out loud. But we all shook our heads in silence. It looked like none of us could imagine Yalasa playing at stormtroopers.
"What about Harmony? Can you imagine Harmony playing at stormtroopers when she was young?" Asked Bloor.
"I can imagine her playing as a joygirl. That's for sure." Replied Timor. We all laughed at that.
"I can certainly vouch for that." Chuckled Mandala.
"Perhaps Harmony can give Yalasa some lessons in that department." Smirked Timor. "If she hasn't done so already."
Again, we all laughed. However, although I joined in the laughter, I was not too comfortable with the conversation. I was concerned that we may say something that could be construed as disobedience or disrespect to a commanding NCO.
"Do you think that Skeen played at being a stormtrooper when he was young?" I asked, moving the conversation on what seemed to be safer ground. Now that Skeen was relieved of duty, we could safely say what we liked about him.
"Almost certainly." Answered Timor. "He probably slept with his fucking helmet on."
There were a few sniggers around the table. Bloor almost choked on his rations. I also laughed.
"Hey, Mandala. Did you play as a stormtrooper when you were a kid?" Asked Timor.
"Yeah sure." Replied Manadala. "I used to run around with a toy gun shooting rebels and traitors. It was great fun."
"What about the rest of you?"
Davos, Bloor and I nodded agreement. We had all played at stormtroopers. That was no surprise. In fact, my mother even bought me some toy stormtrooper armour and a toy blaster.
For some reason, Timor turned to me next.
"And what about you, anal-boy?" Timor asked me. "Did you play as a stormtrooper when you were young?"
"Yeah, sure." I grunted in response, not overly happy with him using my unwanted nickname.
"Yeah, I bet when anal-boy played at being a stormtrooper." Timor turned to the others. "He used to stand guard for 10 hours in silence outside his mother's closet."
The other troopers laughed. I scowled at Timor in disgust and stayed silent, not wanting to give Timor any more ammunition.
"Talking of mothers." Unfortunately, Timor continued talking to me. "Where is your new mummy, Yalasa? I haven't seen her for a while."
At that moment, Harmony entered the mess and collected her tray of rations. Yalasa was not with her.
"Oh, look. Here comes joygirl Harmony." Said Timor grinning. I was relieved that he had a new target for his unwanted attentions.
Harmony brought her tray to our table and sat near to us. It seemed she wasn't confident about sitting right beside us. She sat to my right, leaving a one chair gap between me and her.
"It's great to have you with us again, Harmony." Timor looked over at Harmony. "I haven't seen you since you were sprawled on the floor outside the Tantive. Well, apart from last night when you were sprawled in Mandala's bunk."
We all laughed at that. Harmony looked over at Timor as she slowly chewed her rations, a sly smile on her face.
"So how did you manage to get hit just before entering the combat zone, Harmony?" Timor continued his taunts. "That was a spectacular achievement. Did you get special training for that?"
Harmony continued looking over Timor with a mildly amused expression on her face.
"By the way, next time you get hit, try to lie on your front next time, Harmony." Grinned Timor. "I really had trouble hurdling your massive tits. It was like a fucking obstacle course."
We all laughed again. Of course, what Timor had said was a ridiculous exaggeration. Male and female troopers all wear the same armour. Naturally, Harmony's prone body would not be any more of an obstacle than that of a male trooper.
"Perhaps if you spent less time staring at my tits and more time serving the Emperor, you would achieve the mission objective more effectively, Timor." Harmony's response caused us all to chuckle.
Timor laughed. "It's a pity you didn't use that extra hole you received to bang all the rebels to death. With your special joygirl skills, the battle would have lasted a lot shorter and saved us a few casualties."
"Oh, Timor. From what Yalasa has told me, you are really good at banging people as well." Harmony pouted her lips at Timor and fluttered her eye lashes. "You seem to have a real talent for banging the object of your attentions more than once in a session. I wish I could have experienced that. Gosh, do you think I could, Timor?"
"Well, it wouldn't be the first time that I banged a trooper called Harmony. "
"Really?" Replied Harmony. "What was his first name?"
That caused a huge amount of hilarity among the male troopers present.
In the stormtrooper corps, male troopers tended to use their surname as personal identification in off-duty situations. Females often adopt false names which appeal to them. The name Harmony was quite popular among female troopers. It represented the determination of the trooper to bring harmony to the galaxy by enforcing the will of the Emperor and crushing his enemies. Of course, there were some male Troopers who had the surname Harmony. So it was not unheard of to have a male trooper to be called Harmony.
Female troopers used all sorts of names. Sometimes they were regular sounding surnames. Sometimes they were names of flowers or animals. I have no idea where Yalasa's name came from. I don't know if it is a surname, the name of a planet, the name of a living thing or a word for something else completely different.
"Fuck you, Harmony!" Exclaimed Timor. "I was talking about a female trooper. I tell you what. If you want to be with a real man instead of wimps like Mandala. You know where to come, babe. Timor will show you how it's done. In fact, I'll show you and Yalasa together without any problem."
Everyone laughed. Even Mandala laughed at that, obviously not taking Timor seriously. As Timor was speaking, Yalasa enter the room. Timor had his back to Yalasa so he didn't see her.
"By the way, where is Yalasa anyway? Is she still with Lieutenant Denlin?"
Yalasa was clearly in good spirits. She smiled and put her middle finger to her lips to signal silence. Then she tip-toed up to where Timor was sitting and stood silently behind him. Timor did not notice Yalasa was there. He was too busy listening to the sound of his own voice. The rest of us could hardly keep a straight face as Yalasa waited behind Timor in silence, a huge grin on her face. We waited in anticipation to see what would happen.
"What is Yalasa doing with him anyway?" Timor looked at the troopers around him, falsely believing that they were grinning at his humour. "I am sure she is …er… offering Lieutenant Denlin her thanks for giving her a promotion?"
Yalasa bent down beside Timor, her lips almost touching his ear. "And how would I give the Lieutenant my thanks, Timor?" She whispered.
"Fucking hell!" Yelped Timor, leaping up with terror. All the troopers laughed hysterically, including myself.
"Er...I was about to say that he was undoubtedly commending you on your performance in the last mission, Yalasa." Timor sat back down, clearly looking a little flustered.
"Yeah, I'm sure that's what you meant,Timor." Yalasa smiled as she sat beside him. She laid her tray on the table and started to eat her rations.
"You fucking bastards!" Timor looked around at us in disgust. "You knew she was there all the time. Is there no loyalty among fellow troopers anymore?"
"Not to you, Timor." Replied Mandala. We all laughed at that. It was good to see that Timor was the butt of the joke for a change.
"Oh, come on, Timor." Said Harmony. "Yalasa would never give sexual favours to get a promotion. But I would."
"Interesting that you are still only a trooper then, Harmony." Replied Timor.
"Oh, Timor. We all know why that is." Harmony smiled sweetly as she spoke. "It's because I don't have the right equipment. But you do, Timor. From what I heard, you should be Captain by now."
"Well, Harmony. My mentor at the academy always told me that I was officer material." Timor spoke confidently. I was not sure if Timor was being serious or just going along with Harmony's joke. "It's just a matter of time until, I rise up the ranks."
"Oh, Timor. I am sure that your mentor immediately recognised your, how shall we put it, enormous potential. "Harmony grinned at him malicious. "In fact, Yalasa told me about your massive tool. I hear it's long, hard and has a pointy end. I would love to see it?"
"Hey, what are you talking about?" Timor looked at Harmony and Yalasa suspiciously. Yalasa looked at him, desperately trying to stop herself from laughing.
"Well, it's just that I would love to see your…" Harmony made erotic circles on the table with her fingers as she spoke. "….Tusken gaffi stick."
We all burst out laughing again. Yalasa looked at Timor and barely held in a giggle. She snorted, hardly able to contain herself.
"You fucking told them all? Didn't you, you bitch? You told them about the Tusken raid?"
Yalasa nodded her head, grinning uncontrollably. She had told everyone about how Timor had been stabbed in the shoulder by a Tusken gaffi stick during the Tusken raid. Yalasa had also told everyone how she had teased him about it, comparing the gaffi stick wound to a jab from a toothpick.
"Toothpick Timor." Announced Mandala theatrically. "Purveyor or Tusken gaffi sticks and well ventilated Jawa cloaks."
That caused everyone to laugh hysterically again, except Timor of course. Yalasa giggled so uncontrollably that she had to sit with her head down on the table, her face buried in her arms. Timor just shook his head and grimaced.
As well as talking about the Tusken raid, Yalasa had also told everyone how Timor had sadistically shot a jawa several times during the raid on the Jawa sandcrawler. Thus the comment about ventilated jawa cloaks.
"You haven't told anyone else, have you?" Asked Timor.
At that moment, a few troopers from another squad passed behind Timor to take their seats in the mess. They had heard our conversation and were all smiling. They threw in a few comments as they passed him.
"Hey Timor. Do you have a tooth pick by any chance?"
"Hey Timor. I'm feeling bit warm. You wouldn't happen to have a Jawa cloak with holes in it, would you?"
"Fucking hell! Everyone in the whole damn ship knows?" Timor looked round in despair. He then glared at Yalasa. "You told everyone, you fucking bitch."
Everyone laughed again. Harmony giggled like a kowakian monkey lizard. I chucked with delight. Yalasa was still quivering with laughter, her face still buried in her arms on the table. I knew fine well how the other squads knew. Yalasa had told troopers from the other squads about Timor the previous evening. The other troopers had spread it around the stormtrooper quarters. Stories like these move fast.
After a few minutes of hilarity at Timor's expense, everyone finally stopped laughing. Probably, realising that he was not going to make much head way in taunting Yalasa and Harmony any more, Timor tried to move the conversation back to safer ground where he believed he would have an advantage. He was mistaken.
"Hey, Yalasa. We were all saying how we used to play at being stormtroopers when we were children..."
"As far as I can see, you never stopped playing at being a stormtrooper." Interjected Yalasa putting the emphasis heavily on the word 'playing'. Timor scowled as the other troopers around him laughed again.
"Yeah, very funny. Anyway, we were wondering." Timor regained his composure. "Did you play as a stormtrooper when you were young? You know, with your brothers?" It was actually Timor who was wondering. But I have to admit I was interested in Yalasa's answer.
"No, I have never played at being a stormtrooper." Replied Yalasa. "I have only ever been a real one." That answer made me grin. I heard a few chuckles from the other troopers around the table.
"Oh come on." Timor wasn't going to give up. "You must have played as a stormtrooper sometimes?"
"No. Really I didn't."
"Oh, come on. We all played as stormtrooper. "What were you doing then?"
"Oh, Timor." Yalasa fluttered her eye-lids at him, twirled her short regulation hair in her finger and spoke to Timor in the hesitant voice an innocent little girl. "I was far too busy playing with my dollies and picking pretty flowers when I was a little girl." Yalasa spoke as if she was joking. But on looking at melancholic expression on her face after she said it, I suspected there was a lot of truth in her words.
"Yeah, I can understand that." Timor said, not seeming to notice the change in Yalasa's expression. "I used to play with my cuddly toys when I was young."
We all grinned. It was difficult to imagine Timor playing with cuddly toys.
"Yeah, I used to line them up and execute them as rebel traitors." Timor made a shooting motion with his fingers. "Of course, I used to interrogate and torture them first."
"Why does that not surprise me?" Commented Yalasa dryly.
"Did you used to execute and torture your dollies, Yalasa?"
"As it happens, Timor...no. I didn't."
We all looked down and sat in awkward silence. The talk of executions had reminded us of Speeler's death during the decimation process. The mood suddenly became sombre. No one laughed. No one said anything. We just ate our rations, absorbed in our own thoughts. Only Harmony and Timor seemed to be relatively unaffected. Timor still babbled on to Harmony. She responded cautiously, glancing at us as she answered. But no one else was listening.
After we had all finished eating, Yalasa stood up and broke the silence.
"OK everyone. The Lieutenant has an announcement to make to us in Training room 5 in two hours. Ensure you are fully equipped and armed."
Two hours later, our whole platoon stood to attention in the training room fully equipped in our stormtrooper armour.
Eventually, Lieutenant Denlin entered the room accompanied by Commander Praji and Commander Jir. They looked stern faced. For a moment, I was concerned that we were to face another reprimand or punishment. But that was not the case.
This time Commander Praji stepped forward to address us. I remember the words clearly. They are words that I will never forget for the rest of my life.
"Despite your failure to capture the droids on Tatooine, Lord Vader has expressed satisfaction with your performance in recent missions. He has requested that this platoon be transferred to his command on the Death Star. You will leave for the Death Star immediately after this briefing is over."
My heart jumped with elation when I heard that. I would receive one of the greatest honours a stormtrooper could ever receive: To serve under the direct command of Lord Vader. My heart swelled with pride. I was glad I was wearing my helmet. I doubt that even my long years of conditioning would have stopped me grinning with glee when I heard the news. I was sure the other troopers felt the same.
That was the good news. Then came the bad news.
"When you are transferred to the Death Star, you will be put under the command of a new CO. Lieutenant Denlin and Sergeant-Major Andersen will not go with you."
I was sorry that we would lose Lieutenant Denlin and Sergeant-Major Andersen. I regarded them as effective and capable officers. Commander Praji continued.
"Lieutenant Denlin and Sergeant-Major Andersen will be transferred to a new posting. They will take command of a new platoon on Alderaan. I understand a few of you have volunteered to accompany him in this new posting."
That confused me. I asked myself why some of the troopers would rather go to Alderaan with Lieutenant Denlin rather than serve under Lord Vader. It was almost incomprehensible.
Commander Praji looked along our ranks and said one last thing.
"May you all serve the Empire well. In life. And in death."
IMPERIAL PSYCHOLOGICAL SECTION
REVIEW OF JOURNAL – TROOPER LC-9087
The subject suggests that Trooper NR-8306 (aka Timor) made comments that could be regarded as gross disobedience to a commanding NCO. However, Trooper RC-5342 (aka Yalasa) has requested that no reprimand should be imposed on Trooper NR-8306 (aka Timor) for these comments. In consequence, no disciplinary action will be taken.
The subject confirms that Lieutenant Denlin treats female troopers more favourably than other commanders. We have no doubt that Lieutenant Denlin and his new all-female platoon will serve the Emperor well on Alderaan.