Chapter 21: Sleeping Dogs Stir (Part I)

For the first time in Hank's life, someone else shifted right beside him in bed. The strands of blonde hair in the messy aftermath of a contouring bob peeking just underneath the covers quickly reminded him of where he was and what he had done. Morning had come, and the walls of Cathy's bedroom reflected a turquoise glow from outside.

Hank reached for her shoulder; for five tenuous, indecisive seconds, his hand hovered a centimeter away. He sat up instead, mattress springs squeaked in protest as he carefully moved. The air felt fresher on his exposed figure once he was standing. He scavenged for the rest of his muggy clothes, each article haphazardly strewn around the room.

After thoroughly searching the floor, he found the last sock right under the bed. As he reached for the errant article, his fingers brushed against hard plastic.

It was the container, filled with those forbidden crumpled papers.

Cathy had successfully distracted him from the peculiar box, but there it was again. Hank found that last night's events had strengthened his unwelcome curiosity.

Hank glanced at the top of the mattress, where Cathy lay so quietly, even her breathing was inaudible. He looked back at the container, slowly lifting the top off as if it might hold a bomb. A slow pull later, the contents were exposed in all their glory. He opened one of the bent parchments, half-expecting a name and a confession to come with it.

He certainly wasn't expecting the word "WHORE," written in large bold letters.

He placed the piece of paper back inside the box, picking up another.

"Murderer-loving bitch," it read, in different sloppy handwriting and ink.

Without realizing it, Hank began trading one scrap of wrinkled hate mail for another, each time more noisily than the last. Based on the penmanship, each paper looked to be from a different sender..

"BURN IN HELL," a third said.

"LEAVE NEVADA."

"DIE, YOU CUNT."

From one hand, the last letter slipped out and onto the floor beside him. The other balled up into a fist.

"Why are you looking through my stuff?"

Cathy's voice roused him and he looked up at her. She was sitting upright, one hand holding her blanket against her chest. There was a sternness to her look he had only seen twice before; once at Club M and the other from last night.

Hank stared back at her, unwavering. "How long has this been going on?"

Cathy's grip on her blanket tightened, creasing the fabric. "That's none of your business."

"I'm pretty sure it is."

"How?"

Hank raised the second piece of paper towards her. "'Murderer-loving bitch' is a pretty specific insult."

"Why are you looking through my stuff?" she repeated, her voice slightly louder.

"I was wondering if you had some past lovers bothering you." Hank crossed his arms. "Now are you going to answer my question or not?"

"So you are jealous!"

"I would much rather prefer jealousy over what I'm feeling right now, in all honesty."

Cathy looked away. "It's been going on ever since the article I first wrote about you guys."

"What?"

She drew back slightly at the venom underlining his tone. "Nothing's happened yet, so you don't have to worry."

"Did you go to the police?"

"No."

Hank cocked his head to the side. "Are you serious?"

"I didn't want to interfere what you guys had going for you," she protested. "If I got in the way of how you were cleaning up the gangs, I'd never be able to forgive myself."

Hank looked at the wall, as if hoping it could understand his exasperation. "And how am I supposed to feel if you get yourself killed?"

She went quiet. Hank rubbed at the nape of his neck with a hand.

"What about the paper you're working for? What are they doing about this?"

Cathy still didn't say a word.

"Catherine."

"I quit," Cathy said. "I didn't want to jeopardize anyone else working at the company. It was the safest option for everyone involved."

"Fuck." Hank stood up, feeling her eyes follow him as he leaned against the wall. "I knew this was going to happen."

"It was my choice."

"To do what? Ruin yourself?"

"To do the right thing!" Cathy was almost yelling now. "You need to do big things if you want to make big changes. You of all people should know that."

Hank glared at her. "If that's a pass at my track record, let me make it clear that I was roped into all that shit. Including these vigilante escapades."

"Well, I chose to do what I'm doing. And anything bad that comes from it is my fault, because it's my choice. Not yours."

They stared at each other, Cathy defiant against Hank's glare. After a few seconds, Hank looked away. Inevitably, the container filled with messy letters caught his attention again.

"Why would you store your hate mail?"

"I use it to motivate myself as much as fan mail… which I don't get much of, granted." Just as her expression softened, it steeled back up. "When you're faced with hatred, you can either let it dissuade you, or you can use it as a fuel to become a stronger person."

"You're going to burn yourself," Hank murmured.

He closed the box, and silence separated them again.

"I never really went into a relationship, by the way." Cathy shrugged. "There were a few guys who seemed interested, but I just couldn't do it. There was so much going on and I didn't want to drag anyone down with me."

"So you decided to date a mass murderer instead?"

"Geez, it's almost like you're trying to get me to break up with you."

Hank said nothing. Cathy's smile faded.

"You… weren't actually trying to, right?"

"I had good reasons. And still do," Hank said, turning away. "You wanted to know more about me, right?"

Cathy sat straighter. "Yes."

He stared at the room's sole window. The morning's bright light was now pouring in, casting shadows of the droplets still stuck on the glass from last night's storm.

"I grew up an orphan. Most people didn't want kids in the piss-poor parts of Nevada, and the orphanage was big enough for anyone that did and regretted it."

"You mean the local orphanage?" Cathy interrupted. "The abandoned one near that high school?"

Hank nodded as he sat down. "That one. Despite the times, Julia, the woman who ran the place, did her best to take care of everyone. All I thought she was was my caretaker, until the day I met my father in a prison cell."

"What was he like?" Cathy asked quietly.

"Darren Wimbleton was a piece of shit drug and arms dealer, more run-down than the orphanage," Hank said, eyes strained. "Our warm reunion consisted of him telling me he killed my mother because she didn't want to abort their unplanned pregnancy. Then, he tried to make a run for it and took a bullet to the head. And a little while after that, the orphanage burned down."

"Wait- huh?!"

"Sheriff wanted me dead." Hank put on his other sock. "The kids and the other caretakers were safe, but Julia died. A guy from the Anti-AAHW said they had a way to bring her back. They proved it. All I had to do was sign my life away to make it happen."

Cathy's face paled. "What do you mean by, 'bring her back?'"

Hank looked at her before promptly shaking his head. "Forget it."

"No, it's just that... Deimos did mention something about your magical bosses."

"I'm going to smash that kid's head into a wall." Hank's fist tightened again. "Yeah. 'The Higher Powers,' as they pretentiously called themselves. They were having some sort of family feud with The Auditor. I don't understand it myself and I don't see any reason to. All you need to know is, as stupid as it sounds, they resurrected Julia if I fought the War. So I did. Sorry I'm not much of a storyteller."

"I mean, well..." Cathy trailed off. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

Hank shrugged. "Might as well."

"What's it like to… come back?"

Hank looked at her. "That's worse than asking me what it was like to kill someone."

"I'm just worried too, okay?"

A moment of silence, similar to their first talk on the park bench, held. Hank looked back at the ground.

"Imagine you're under a nice, warm blanket, on a morning dead in the middle of winter. Then, some asshole decides to yank you off your bed and pour freezing-cold water all over you. Now, multiply that sensation by a hundred."

Cathy remained quiet. Hank stood back up.

"Catherine. The point is, you've involved yourself with someone who can destroy everything you have without lifting a finger." He pulled out his phone from his jeans, pressing down on the power button. "The sooner you get over this ridiculous fantasy-"

"Hank."

He turned to Cathy last time. She stared back at him, her eyes reflecting sadness and brimming confidence.

"I love you."

The words to answer her couldn't reach Hank's lips. Involuntarily, he looked back down at his phone, fiddling with the unresponsive power button some more.

"Shit," he muttered.

"Is your phone dead?" she asked.

"Yeah," Hank replied. "I need to call those two idiots before they start pestering me with questions."

"Oh!" Cathy's face lit up. "Why not use the cellphone I gave you?"

Hank pocketed his useless device. "Honestly, I think I should just head back and pretend like nothing happened. Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine. I don't think anyone's been after me since I stopped publishing articles."

"I meant your job."

"I can manage."

His stare said he wasn't reassured. Cathy sighed.

"Look, if anything happens, I'll call you, okay?" She put on the most genuine smile she could muster. "You can even set up that phone on your way back so we're always connected."

"Alright. Screaming out the window works too. I know you have the lungs for it, judging from last night."

Hank felt a pillow bop the back of his head. He looked at Cathy, who was already armed with another case.

"LEAVE!" she hissed, face red.

With a grin, he walked out just as second pillow hit the wall behind him. Cathy laughed once he was gone, not noticing her tears until they trickled off her chin.

"Deimos?" Sanford asked.

"Mhm," Deimos replied, sitting on the couch with his back turned from his partner.

"How long have you been sitting there for?"

The hacker looked up from his phone. Bones cracked in his neck as he turned to look at Sanford with bloodshot eyes.

"Oh, not very long."

"Right." Sanford groaned as he stretched his arms behind his back. "You shouldn't be losing sleep like that. Hank'll be fine. I'm sure-"

"He won, Sanford."

"Huh?"

"He got laid." Deimos stared blankly in front of him. "Hank lost his virginity before I did. Fucking... Hank. I knew from the moment the clock struck midnight and he didn't come back."

"Should have known it'd be over something stupid," Sanford muttered. He scratched the back of his head before raising his voice to a normal level. "Look, maybe he slept alone at a hotel or something, I don't know man. Last night's storm was pretty nasty."

"No, you don't understand!" Deimos grabbed at Sanford's shoulders. "I sensed it in the air! It hit me like a prophecy from God! Like... Morse Code Intercourse! Conception Perception! Sex Hex! Coitus-!"

"Honestly, Deimos. Is there really anything wrong with being a virgin at 22?"

"AHH!"

As if he was just stabbed in the back by a knife, Deimos collapsed, grabbing at Sanford's ankles from the ground.

Sanford rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. Look at it this way, I'm a virgin too. We're on the same boat."

"THE GAYEST KIND OF BOAT!"

"I'm gonna knee your nose, you little-"

A click from the front door interrupted Sanford. Deimos shot up to his feet just as Hank stepped into the house.

"So," Sanford broke the silence, "Where have you been?"

"As flattered as I am for you caring so much, you're my maid, not my mother," Hank deflected.

"Well, don't flatter yourself. I was only worried you ended up committing assault and ruining all our hard work. Frankly, you being gone made my life easier," Sanford pointed to his partner. "Him, on the other hand…"

"HANK!" Deimos lunged forward, grabbing at Hank's shoulders. "Did you do it?! Did you really do it?!"

"Do what?" Hank replied in monotone.

"HER!"

"No. Now step aside." Hank brushed Deimos's hands off as he walked past him. "I need to take a shower-"

"LIAR!" Deimos fell back down to the ground on his chest, grabbing at Hank's ankles. "I know that aura! That's the aura of a boy becoming a man! I can practically smell the pheromones on you!"

"Deimos, if you don't let go right now, I'm actually going to smash your head into a wall."

"NO! NOT UNTIL YOU ADMIT IT!" Deimos held his grip as Hank tried pushing him by the head with the sole of one foot. "ADMIT IT, YOU LIA-!"

A small, silver square fluttered from Hank's back pocket and onto the floor. Deimos let go of Hank's legs and scrambled for the piece of garbage on the ground.

"No…" Deimos whispered as he slowly raised it. "NO."

The opened packet slipped from his hands as he fell on all fours. "NOOOOOOOO!"

Sanford picked it up as Deimos continued hollering in the background. He jutted out his lower lip, giving Hank an approving nod.

"Well," Sanford began, "it's nice to know you're playing it safe."

"That's not mine," Hank said.

"Then who used it? Her?"

"Yes."

"This is for males."

"I am aware."

Sanford lowered his glasses. "I hope you're just really bad at lying on the spot, or you didn't get my joke."

"You choose."

Deimos stopped yelling, taking deep breaths between heaves. "Once I got laid, I had a whole spreadsheet of roasts I was gonna use on your virgin ass too. It's all worthless now, damn it..."

"Are you done?" Hank asked.

"How was it?!" Deimos grabbed at Hank's sides with inhuman speed and force. "What positions did you take?! Doggystyle?! Reverse cowgirl?! Or did you go for missionary?!"

Sanford sniggered, causing Hank to turn around. Deimos pulled Hank in until their faces were only a few centimeters separated.

"LOOK AT ME!" Fire burned in the hacker's bloodshot eyes as he spoke in rapid-fire, breathing heavily. "TELL ME WHAT EVERY FOLLICLE OF HAIR ON YOUR BODY WAS DOING LAST NIGH-!"

In one swift motion, Hank grabbed Deimos's hair and smashed the techie's face into the wall on his right.

"I see the 'wall slam' technique's made a reappearance," Sanford said as he watched Deimos slide down to the ground.

"That special lesson wasn't just for his twisted attitude. Kid's been running his mouth way too much." Hank turned to Sanford. "You feel like contributing in a similar fashion?"

"... I'd rather not break any more walls in the house. Because I know I'm the one who's gonna end up fixing them."

"Good call," Hank spoke just as a generic ringtone emanated from his pocket. He pulled out the cellphone Cathy gifted him. "Speaking of which…"

"Is that a new phone?" Sanford asked.

"Cathy's present. And yes, I already know I have one." Hank activated his phone with the touchscreen, pressing it against his ear. "Who is this?"

"Hey, Hank!"

"Catherine?"

"Yep! I'm calling because you left your wallet at my place."

Hank felt for his pockets, grimacing. "Shit."

"See? I told you." Cathy's voice paused on the line. "Wait. By any chance, Sanford and Deimos aren't listening in on this, are they?"

"They already know, Catherine."

The wince that escaped her lips made the blush on her face palpable. "But… it's only been like, an hour."

"You slipped a condom packet into my pocket."

Another pause. Now, Hank could hear her sulk.

"Sorry."

"It's fine. Listen, I'll be back for my wallet later. We can talk more then."

"Okay. And Hank?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

She hung up the call. Hank looked up to see Sanford's smirk return.

"Must've been some good sex, huh?"

"Keep talking like that and you'll end up like Deimos."

"Alright, alright. But for the record, you're supposed to tell a girl you love her back, when she says that."

"The day you'll hear me say those words to Catherine is the day we die."

Sanford's pocket was now vibrating.

"Is she calling you now?" Hank asked.

"No," Sanford replied as he read the caller ID to himself. "It's Augustus."

"Augustus? What the hell does he-?"

Sanford brought his phone to his ear, while raising a hand to silence Hank. "Hello? Yeah, this is Sanford. Yeah, Deimos was busy being… unconscious to answer your calls. Don't ask."

Hank crossed his arms. "Put it on speakerphone and tell him-"

"Shh! I know!" Sanford hushed as he covered the phone's mic with a hand. "Just give me a second."

As Hank felt an eye involuntarily twitch, Sanford returned to his call.

"Look, Augustus. As much as we appreciate your enthusiasm and support, we're not interested in any more deals, especially while the police are too busy to work with us. That being said, we're going to-"

The few seconds of more unintelligible gibberish that came from the other end of the call paused Sanford. It also proved to be enough to make his eyes widen.

"What? What's he saying?" Hank asked.

Sanford handed him the phone, face slightly pale. "I think you should talk to him."

Hank's glare became narrow-eyed. He snatched the phone out of his hand.

"Augustus," Hank said quietly.

"Hello, Hank. Any interesting developments in your life?"

"I don't know what you told Sanford, but the bottom line is that we're through. Understand?"

"Now, now, there's no need to turn to a heart-shattering breakup just yet. I personally believe you should hear what I have to say first, considering how closely it affects your social circle."

Hank snorted mirthlessly. "And what could you possibly know that would change my mind?"

"Did you know that the police chief's daughter has gone missing?"

Hank went quiet. He looked at Sanford, face still drained of color, before turning back to his call.

"Why would that matter to us?"

"Don't play dumb, Hank. I know the Chief gives you the names of the gangs I feed you information on. You paused... I was right on the money, wasn't I?"

"How would you know?"

"It's quite simple, really. Chief Harley hasn't made a public appearance for quite a while. Coincidentally, this window of time is also the same one where you three haven't shown up to Langstone's."

"No." Hank's voice grew stern. "I'm asking why would you know whether or not his daughter was kidnapped."

"My influence reaches far beyond the realm of Dead Nevada, Hank. A single slip-up was all I needed to know who was responsible for the kidnapping. Now, if my hunch is true, you don't have a lot of time before something drastic happens to her… if it hasn't happened already. Consider yourselves grateful that I contacted you all so early in the day."

Hank could hear the grin on his face. His grip on the phone tightened.

"We'll be there in an hour."

"Wonderful. As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you."

Augustus' voice was gone, a dial tone in its stead. Hank tossed the phone back to Sanford, an almost exhausted look on his face as he did so.

"What do you think?" Sanford asked.

"I think I want to put a round through his head. Preferably something big," Hank said. "As much as I'd hate to admit it, his explanation covers why Harley's been awfully quiet."

"So you think he's telling the truth?"

"There's no way to know. But if this is some sort of prank, he's not going to do it again after I'm through with him." Hank looked down at Deimos's quiet form. "Is he dead again?"

"Nah. His skull's thick enough to take that hit." Sanford nudged Deimos's side with his foot. "Out like a rock, though."

"Then grab the cash and get ready. We're meeting Augustus in an hour."

"And what about Rockmos over here?"

With a single hand, Hank hoisted Deimos by his shirt and tossed the techie onto the couch.

"Position..." the hacker groaned after he landed on the furniture.

"There," Hank said. "He'll wake up before we're heading out. Otherwise, he's going to be Dedmos."

"M'kay. Anything else Augustus mentioned worth noting?"

"He also said he loves ya. Must've been some good sex, huh, Sanford?"

"Eat shit."

(Original) A/N: Not bad. I needed this chapter though, to fill in the blanks from Chapter 20. Also, I made this today only because IT'S MADNESS DAY BABY! WOOHOO!

For those of you who don't know what Madness Day is, you need to get your Madness Combat-Facts in order. Madness Day takes place every September the 22nd, where users submit their Madness related games, fan-art, and ultra-epic, non-canon Madness Combat movies. Best of all, Krinkels uploads his annual Madness Combat episodes on Newgrounds every Madness Day, and I'm also expecting some updates on his game (which is in the featured games' list on Newgrounds's homepage) Madness: Project Nexus.

So far, it's 9:30 for me, and I'm still waiting anxiously for Krinkels's epic continuation of the cliffhanger he left all of us off with in Madness Combat 10. I'm a bit disappointed I still can't find anything from him, but I bet it will be coming soon! Like, maybe 2 or 3 days later at most. But no worries. It's incredibly, INCREDBILY, hard to make a Madness Combat movie out of Adobe Flash, so I ain't bitchin'. Ah well. At least I got to update on the only holiday Madness Combat celebrates.

Well, that's all folks. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Kagami, thanks for inspiring me to continue today, and I'm satisfied with how this story is going so far. I am currently thinking about your crossover idea, and I am a Naruto fan as well, so things can go as planned. So far, I'm thinking about doing it when Naruto's still 12 and not in Shippuden (since I have more knowledge of the Naruto before Shippuden than after because of all the new episodes still running). But not right now. Gotta focus on this first. And then, let's go.

Also, Invader, thanks for reviewing again! I'm not upset at all, and I appreciate it that you came back again! Thanks to you too dude, and happy Madness Day to both of ya!

You guys, and I mean all of you, are the best crowd any fanfiction-writer can have, and I hope you all enjoy this piece! I'm putting all the effort I can here, and I'm always watching on whether or not people like this so far, so keep showing your colors! You guys are awesome!

Later, and check out Newgrounds for your healthy dosage of Ultra-Violence via Madness Combat. Happy Madness Day!

~Spirit9871

(New) A/N: As short as this chapter originally was, the original was pretty much illegible. I basically worked the whole thing from the ground up; it was the only possible treatment I could do in this case. Massive changes have been made here and I'm sure anyone who's followed the original knows this for a fact.

Let's get to those now, shall we?

Changelog:

1 - Chapter title changed from "Surprises and Broken Secrets" to "Sleeping Dogs Stir." Less on-the-nose and shorter (shorter titles usually tend to have more impact)

2 - Hank and Cathy's conversations vastly changed. The original seemed to miss massive opportunities I'm glad I'm able to put in now.

3 - Deimos is more mortified and envious (to a somewhat creepy degree) rather than joking about Hank getting to fourth base, while Hank is a lot less flustered. It just makes more sense that way (being 14 sucked when it came to writing relationships…)

4 - Morse Code Intercourse. I'm proud enough of that one to leave it as its own point.

5 - Rockmos and Dedmos. Nothing like forcing Madness 2019 memes into your fanfics.

6 - Grammatical errors removed.

7 - Narration and dialogue improved.

8 - Diction enhanced.

9 - The universe is a better place.

Changelog done. Now to address the elephants in the room.

First and most importantly, MADNESS 11. Yes, I did indeed watch it and I have to say, I have never been screaming harder my entire life for something Madness-related. The combat was incredible and the animation did not disappoint for sure. Nobody in their right mind is going to say Madness 11 was a boring installment; six years later, and Krinkels did deliver. My favorite part was the riot shield combat with Sanford and the mini Trickys. The choreography was fantastic and believable (or at least, as believable as Madness Combat animations can get).

I will say however, I am a bit bummed out that Madness 11 seemed to have a continuity error with normality no longer being restored. As deathdefier (one of my readers and a good friend I'm working with) put it, normality no longer being restored kinda defeats Jebus's sacrifice in Madness 8. Might be wrong though; maybe there's a reason for the lighting bolts to suddenly stop after Tricky was absorbed? Dunno.

Point is (and I'll probably repeat this in the next Author's Note of Hank's Legacy), Madness Combat 11's story can be integrated into the fanon we've set up here. However, I'm not sure if I can say the same beyond Madness 11; I doubt I'm willing to wait another half-decade for the next installment, but let's hope we won't have to go down the dreaded "Alternate Universe" path.

On that note, if you want some more Madness Combat readings, go read deathdefier's "Tale of Two Hanks" and Dark Madness Dragon's "Return Tripping"! Yes, both stories are canon with my storyline, and the former even takes place a little after Final Salvation's last chapter! You can easily find the stories under my Favorites on my profile (or you know, just look it up like any other normal human being)! Leave them some faves, follows, and reviews too while you're at it; I've edited their stories with them and I can safely say they worked hard and deserve a lot of love!

And that's basically it. Beyond that, I'm back in college and I'm planning on getting my Bachelor's by the end of this year. I'll still be around, no worries. Turns out college isn't as bad as I thought it'd be on my schedule (can't say the same for Alias though, considering he's in Ivy League).

Hope you guys enjoyed this rewritten installment of Final Salvation! It's currently Saturday, February 9th, 2019 at 2:04 PM as I'm about to hand off this chapter to my editors to review.

Thanks for reading! See you next time! :D

~Spirit