Chapter 21

On Wednesday morning when Harry came down the spiral staircase, Ron waited with Hermione next to the notice board in the Gryffindor common room.  The redhead had his arms folded and a very angry expression on his face.

"Why didn't tell us you were taken off the team?"  Ron raged.  "What are we going to do?  We play Slytherin Saturday."

Harry sighed. He had expected this.  "I'm sorry but it wasn't my idea.  Ginny can use my Firebolt so she'll have an advantage over Malfoy.  You did all right without me last year."  He tried to sound like it wasn't a big issue but Ron wasn't accepting it.

"We had three experienced chaser last year!" Ron ranted.  "Why were you banned?  It has something to do with your fight with Dumbledore doesn't it?"  He glared at Harry.  "Why don't you give it up?  He's never going to…" Ron stopped and glanced at Hermione with guarded look.

"I don't want to talk about my problem with Dumbledore."  Harry said calmly. 

"Well, I do."  Hermione said hotly.  "We're your friends Harry, we have a right to know what's going on.  Because this anger you have toward Dumbledore doesn't make sense to me.  I mean he's made mistakes not telling you about the prophecy sooner. But Harry, you need to learn Occlumency.  Especially after what happened…." She broke off with a scared look but then steeled herself.  "Especially after what happened Sunday."

Harry gazed at Hermione's concerned face and Ron's annoyed one for a long time.  Considering his response carefully he said.  "My anger isn't about not being told what was in the prophecy, Hermione.  Actually, I can understand how hard it was for Dumbledore to tell me about the prophecy."  Harry shook his head slightly. "Who would want to tell a kid something like that and I can understand the misery he went through each time he didn't tell me."

"But then why are you so angry with him?"  Hermione ask again.  "Because I don't understand."

"I don't think you would really understand not having lived it.  It's hard for Dumbledore to understand."  He dropped his gaze to the floor and sighed.

Hermione touched Harry's arm to make him look at her.  "Harry, haven't I been your friend long enough to deserve an explanation?"

"Yes, you have Hermione."  Harry swallowed hard.  "Sit down and I'll try to explain."

Hermione took a seat in the corner away from the notice board. Ron sat down next to her and took her hand on the table in his. Harry sat across from the pair but he stared at the tabletop.  With a sigh Harry began.  "Hermione, when Snape gave me Occlumency lessons, he brought back a lot of memories I had forgot or suppressed.  Memories with the Dursleys and what my life was really like living with them."  Harry found this extremely difficult. "With physical and mental abuse no child should be subject to go though." 

"What has that got to do with Dumbledore?"  Hermione asked quietly.

"It was his responsibility to figure out what to do with me after my parents died.  He is the one who place me with them.  He knew how I was treated and yet he did nothing."  Harry's teeth clenched at the thought. 

 "But it was for your protection from Voldemort."  The moment Hermione said this she knew it wasn't the thing to say.

"Who protected me from the Dursleys?"  Harry's eyes flared as he looked up at her. He took a deep breath and controlled his voice.  "Hermione, you really don't know what I went through with the Dursleys."  His eyes softened and he added.  "And I really don't think you want to know."  A lump came to his throat and he looked down again. 

"I would, if you want to tell me."  Hermione reached a hand out to Harry's.  "Maybe I should know."

Harry sniffed trying to think of something that wouldn't be too horrible. "Hermione, do you remember being hugged by your family when you were scared or scraped your knee?"

"Of course."  Hermione said quickly.

 "I don't.  Not once.  Every fright, bruise and cut I went through all by myself.   Ron's Mom gave me the first hug of comfort I ever had, in the hospital wing after Cedric had died."  He blinked to keep the tears back.  "Before I came to Hogwarts the number of days I spent locked into the cupboard under the stairs probably equaled the number I spent outside of it." 

"I can see it's been hard Harry."  Hermione started carefully.  "But you did survive and that's the important thing."

"I didn't want to go into gory details but I guess I'll have to."  Harry rubbed his eyes.  "Right, I was about seven and I was playing in the back garden, by myself. I found this long dead tree branch and pretended to fly around on it."  He bit his lip for a moment then continued.  "When Uncle Vernon saw me from the kitchen window.  He dragged me inside and beat me so hard I thought I was going to die."  Harry looked up at Hermione's horrified face.  "And the sad thing was Hermione, I wanted to. In my cupboard afterward, with my arm broken I just lay in pain hoping this was it, that I could finally leave the Dursleys."

"He broke your arm?"  Hermione's hand was on her mouth and tears shone in her eyes. "How did he get away with something like that?  The hospital surely would have reported something like that to the authorities."

"I didn't have to go to the hospital.  The magic inside of me evidently healed it over night.  So no one knew about the break.  Or the beating."  Harry snorted.  "But Dumbledore knew.  He could have stopped it, Hermione."

"I had no idea it was that bad Harry."  Hermione sniffed. For a long time no one said anything.  Hermione had reflective look and said tentatively.  "Here's a thought Harry.  If you had a different childhood you would be the person you are today.  You would be different.  Maybe what you went through has helped you deal with other things." 

"You mean having pain in my childhood has helped me deal with the pain in my scar?"  Harry said looking at her intently.

"Yes, something like that."  Hermione nodded.

"The end justifies the means?"  Harry asked with an arched eyebrow.

Slowly Hermione shook her head.  "No it doesn't.  You're right Harry.  No child should go through stuff…abuse like that.  But the past can't be changed.  What do you want Dumbledore to do?" she asked.

"To at least admit it was the wrong place to put me."  Harry's voice held a bit of the anger he had for the headmaster.  "To be as horrified as you at what a child had to go through."  His eyes flamed again. "To be treated like a person who is important and not just because of some stupid prophesy."

"I think that is reasonable to ask.  But refusing Occlumency Harry.  What if..."  Hermione said worriedly.  "What if Voldemort tries to possess you again?" 

"I will admit Hermione.  I am as concerned about that as you."  Harry nodded.  "But in being Dumbledore's puppet I have very few things to negotiate with." He gazed over at Ron who hadn't said a word through the whole conversation. The stunned expression on his face didn't need words.   "All right Ron?"

"All right."  Ron returned.  "We'll beat Slytherin just for you." He grimly announced.

"Good because Slytherin hasn't beaten Gryffindor since we've been at school.  And I to hate break a winning streak."  Harry sighed.  "We better get to breakfast."  

"Thanks for telling me Harry."  Hermione said as they stood up to leave.  "I know it was very hard for you."  Harry nodded at her and they left for the great hall.

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Transfiguration had its ups and downs that day.  Harry's first few attempts to conjure multiple buttons at once went awry; summoning a swarm of bees instead and sending the class in to a slight panic, which gave Malfoy a chance to rag on Harry. But by the end of class Harry eventually managed to produce six perfect buttons at one time.   Letting Harry smirk at Malfoy's try to conjure a single chair.

As the class ended Professor McGonagall called to Harry.  "Potter a word if you please."  Hermione and Ron gave Harry a glance and he shrugged and went over to the Professor's desk.

"Sit down Potter."  McGonagall retreated behind her desk and folded her hands in front of her, looking very stern.  "I have informed from Professor Dumbledore you are banned from quidditch because you refuse to learn Occlumency." Harry sighed and nodded. 

"I don't know why or what problem you have with Professor Dumbledore."  McGonagall held out her hand to keep him from interrupting. "And I really don't care Potter.  That is between the two of you as far as I am concern." 

"Everybody else thinks I'm being to hard on the Headmaster, Professor."  Harry snorted. 

"Professor Dumbledore is quite capable of handling a disagreement on his own with no help from me.  Personally, well."  She cleared her throat. "I won't take sides on this.  It is, as I said, up to the two of you to work out." The Professor adjusted her glasses.

"On the other hand, I am Deputy Headmistress and Head of Gryffindor house and have the other students' well-being to insure."  McGonagall took a breath.  "I must really insist you take part in your Occlumency lessons Potter.  It is imperative you learn how to block your mind from you-know-who, especially after what happened on Sunday.  Surely you must see this?" 

"Yes, Professor, I understand the need to control."  Harry said carefully.  "My life has been controlled since Voldemort put this scar on me."  McGonagall winced slightly at the dark wizard's name but watched Harry closely as he considered her request. "You have always been up front with me and I respect your opinion."  He sighed and rubbed his chin thinking.  "I'll learn Occlumency on two conditions.   First, I want to learn Legilimency along with Occlumency." 

"I see no problem with that request."  McGonagall nodded.  "Makes perfect sense actually."

Harry drew a deep breath. "Secondly, I don't want the Headmaster teaching me."  Harry could barely keep eye contact with his teacher. Her gaze was so intense he felt like a hole was being burned into him.

"Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape are the only two wizards in this school skilled enough to teach the Occlumency you need.  Which is beyond the basic understanding of occlumency that most of the teachers here at Hogwarts have accomplished."  McGonagall told him.  "I do not know if Professor Snape would agree to teach you again, considering what happened last year." 

"I'm not the wild about lessons with him either."  Harry sighed in resignation. "But if he will agree."  It cost Harry every bit of effort to say the words.  "I will take lessons from him." 

"I see."  Professor McGonagall said surprised.  "Well, I can ask him.  But I can promise you nothing until I speak with Professor Snape."

Harry swallowed trying not to think too much about Snape.  "Tell him I keep my nose out of the pensive.   And."  Harry met McGonagall's eyes.  "You might tell him, I won't be the easy mark he had last year."

Her eyes glittered in amusement.  "That just might peek his interest Potter.  Very well.  I'll let you know what he says.  You may go on to Charms."  McGonagall said then added.  "Thank you for listening to me Potter."

"I do try to listen to reasonable people, Professor."  Harry said as he left the classroom.

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In charms on every desk, Professor Flitwick had placed a long bone from some sort of creature.   "Repairing bones is more difficult than healing wounds."  As he spoke he waved a slender bone in the air.  "We cannot of course have volunteers break bones just to heal them.  So we will try the repairing charm with the bit of skeleton I have placed before you."  The little wizard then bent the bone and it broke. Professor placed the bone on his desk, took out his wand and said.  "Osis Sanitas." The bone seemed to melt back together.  The class clapped.  "Thank you.  You may now try."

A horrible cracking noise resounded around the classroom as the students broke the bone in front of them.  The class worked all period but only Hermione managed to fuse any part of the bone together. 

"Do not be discouraged.  It is a very difficult spell."  Flitwick told them as they brought the pieces of bones to his desk at the end of the class.  Most wizards or witches will differ to let a trained medi wizard or healer repair a broken bone even if they can do the spell themselves.  But it is a good spell to know if a healer is not available."

Harry, Ron and Hermione headed for lunch.  As Hermione spooned stew into bowls for the three of them Harry noticed she seemed distracted.  "What's up?"  He asked as she handed him a second bowl of stew. 

"Oh, nothing."  When Harry still stared at her, Hermione just shook her head and laughed.  "I am just wondering how is it you are so good at Transfiguration all of sudden."  Hermione shrugged.

"You mean you don't like being second best at something you were once the best."  Ron snorted then froze when he realized it wasn't something you said to your girl friend. "Sorry Hermione, I didn't mean it the way it sounded."  He stuttered.

"I know what you mean Ron."  Hermione rolled her eyes and gazed at him sitting beside her.  "And you did mean it like that.  But you needn't worry I can take a joke."  She looked back at Harry.  "But it is quite amazing.  Don't you think?"

"What's amazing?"  Neville had just sat down beside Harry.  He filled a bowl with stew and grabbed some rolls from a basket.  Hermione told Neville about Harry's sudden prowess in Transfiguration.  Neville smiled slyly.  "Well, it's not all that surprising Hermione, considering his scrofungulus infection this summer."

"What do you mean?  And how did you know about that?"  Harry asked turning to look at Neville.

"I know because I went to St Mungos to visit my parents.  The whole hospital was talking about how sick you were. I went down to try to see you but of course they wouldn't let me."  Neville told them between bites of stew and roll.  "But I did speak to Healer Davis about the types of treatments you were receiving.  A few of the potions had ingredients that could have either damaged or enhanced your mental capacities."

"But wouldn't Professor McGonagall have known?  She seems as shocked as anyone."  Ron asked.

"Not with the potions the healer tried."  Neville glanced at Harry.  "You were so ill Healer Davis didn't have much hope for your recovery. I was really afraid for you, Harry." He said sadly. "I expected to go in any day to hear you had died."  Neville shook himself out of his glumness to continue.  "Anyway, most of the medications were experimental because the regular treatments weren't working."  He paused to take drink of pumpkin juice.  "I went back almost every day to see what new treatment he was trying."

"What ingredient could cause such a tremendous jump in ability?"  Hermione asked frowning.  "I find it hard to believe it would affect him that much."

"Well, benzoin awakens higher mindedness as does horehound and galangal.  I think he used eyebright too."  Neville considered.  "I know he used many herbs with protective and strengthening actions."

"But still, Neville, Harry's ability is too much of a jump for a plant to have influence it."  Hermione insisted.

"For one plant, I would agree Hermione.  But Harry was treated for three weeks.  With many different plants in mixtures even Healer Davis wasn't sure would cure or kill him."  Neville said gravely.  "You were that sick, Harry and the Healers were that desperate."  Hermione still looked skeptical so he added. "Combine that with a very rare strain of scrofungulus, which by the way came from the most unlikely place of Burkina Faso," Neville shrugged raising his eyebrows.  "Anything could happen.  I'm glad it was for the good and not for the bad."

"Cheers Neville."  Harry said thoughtfully.  For some reason it just hit him how really sick he had been last summer.  Then he thought of something.  "You know I remember Healer Davis always asking me if I felt any different.  Neville, are there any other parts of me these potions could have affected?"

Neville's round face went pink and he looked down at his stew and stirred it with his spoon.  "I know he used dragon blood and it can…" The color on his face deepened.  "Umm increase your virility, strength and passion."  He said quickly and took a mouthful of stew.

Ron snickered then sobered quickly.  He gave Harry a critical look but didn't say anything.  Harry could guess Ron was thinking about Ginny and him, in the wood together, alone.   Even though his face burned from embarrassment Harry said. "Well, that's not so bad.  Might come in handy." 

Hermione pretended not to have noticed the way the conversation had gone.  "But what was a strain of scrofungulus from Burkina Faso doing on Harry's mom's letters?"  She asked frowning.  "That is odd."

"Nobody seemed to know how the letters could have became contaminated with it."  Neville said shrugging.  "It's just one of those things you'll probably never find out."  He finished his stew and pulled a helping of pudding toward him.

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Defense Against the Dark Arts class began with its usually set of calisthenics then a run around the castle.  Harry, Ron and Malfoy usually ran at the front of the group when the order came for the sprint to the stone steps of the castle.  Ron and Malfoy were both taller than him and had longer legs but Harry always managed to out sprint them. He assumed his experience running away from Dudley and his gang gave him an edge.

After the physical workout Malahide introduced two new spells.  "Tutela Quidam protects a person you specify from minor and some major curses.    Fervefacio Abiego will cause a wave of heat to be sent from your wand.  Done correctly it can melt the flesh right off your enemy." 

The class broke up into groups of three with Harry ending up with Malfoy and Neville.  The object of the lesson was for one to cast the protection spell and the other to cast a minor curse to see if the protection was affective.  Malfoy gritted is teeth as he cast the new spell on Neville.  Evidently the Slytherin was too leery of Malahide to try anything bad.  Harry cast a jelly-legs jinx on Neville and Malfoy's protection spell held for only a moment before Neville was staggering around on wiggling legs.   

"Not quite there Malfoy." Harry said as he cast the counter spell to stop Neville dancing.  "Try again."  Harry had too much on his mind so as long as Malfoy didn't cause any problems he wouldn't.   Malfoy glared at him but recast the spell with more force.  The curse Harry cast at Neville was deflected.  "Seemed to work that time.  Neville want to try me?" 

Neville nodded and concentrating hard said.  "Tutela Quidam." 

As Malfoy raised his wand to cast a curse toward him, Harry saw a flash of anger in the blonde's gray eyes.  "Fervefacio Abiego."  He shouted.   A wave of heat scorched the hair from Harry's face.  An outcry from Neville brought Malahide to their side before Harry could curse Malfoy.

"Hospital Potter."  Malahide ordered with his eyes on Malfoy.  "Malfoy.  Get out and don't come back. I told you before I will not tolerate petty quarrels in my units." Malfoy eyed the professor with great loathing but without a word headed toward the lockers. 

Feeling his face burning Harry walked quickly to the infirmary.  He looked around for Madam Pomfrey and found her in the office off the ward. 

"You again?" It seemed to have become her normal greeting for Harry. The nurse ushered him to sit on a bed.  She examined his burned face.  "Not to worry, I'll be able to heal this straight away.  Mainly just a surface wound."  Madam Pomfrey bustled away then brought back a familiar orange paste.  She slathered it over Harry's face; he found the paste soothing to the burn.

"Sit there a bit while the salve works."  The nurse studied him for a moment.  "You've gotten taller" He nodded wondering about her intent stare. "I am glad you are completely recovered from your summer illness."  Madam Pomfrey finally said.

"Oh, that."  Harry thought it strange the illness had been brought up twice in the same day.  He told her what Neville had said at lunch about his treatments. "Could the potions have affected me that much?"

The nurse thought for a long time and slowly began to nod.  "I think I'll have to agree with Mr. Longbottom.   The medications certainly could affect your abilities in many ways.  Hopefully all to the good."  Madam Pomfrey said.       

When Harry was healed he headed to the Transfiguration classroom for his animagus training. As he arrived the door opened and students began to emerge.  A very pretty girl with long black hair exited then stopped and stared at Harry.  Cho Chang stood looking at him while her classmates bumped into her as they squeezed past to leave the room.  She took another step closer.

"Hi Harry."  Cho said quietly.

"Hi," Harry nodded.  He wasn't sure of his feeling toward Cho but he would be happy just being on speaking terms.

"I heard about your illness this summer."  Cho seemed very sad.  "I was really scared."

That blasted sickness, how many times was he going to hear about it today. "Ah right.  I'm fine really."  Harry searched his mind to find something to say.  "Uh, how was your summer?"  

"Oh fine.  We went to France on Holiday."  Cho smiled. "It was great."

"Sounds like it would be fun."  Harry was beginning to feel this was way too much work; thinking up things to talk about to Cho.

"Well, I better go.  See you around Harry." Cho waved and headed off down the hall.

"See ya."  Harry watched her go, trying to decided how he felt about Cho.  He liked her but couldn't see the two of them getting together again.  He sighed and went into the empty classroom. 

"Potter, Good afternoon."  Professor McGonagall said as he came over to her desk.  She was piling scrolls into a large tartan canvas bag.

"Hi, Professor.   Did you speak to him?"  Harry couldn't say his name.

"Yes, I spoke with Professor Snape."  McGonagall sighed.  "And Professor Snape said he would consider it and get back with me."

 "When?"  Harry asked frowning.

"When do you think?"  Professor McGonagall's eyebrows arched and she sat down in her chair.

"He's going to wait until after Gryffindor plays Slytherin."  Harry said angrily slamming his book bag to the floor.  "That…" 

"Careful Potter, he is a teacher here."  Professor McGonagall's nostrils flared.  "What else would he do?"  She stared at Harry and suggested quietly.  "You could take one Occlumency class with the Headmaster, couldn't you?"  

Closing his eyes, Harry sighed.  Leave it to Snape to hold out for the quidditch match.  "I suppose.  I can't stand the thought of Slytherin winning against Gryffindor.  No sense cutting off my nose to spite my face."  When Harry opened his eyes to give McGonagall a wry smile he saw a stunned expression.

"I don't know what to say Potter.  I thought you were bullheaded enough to refuse."  McGonagall almost laughed.  "Well good.   I will inform Professor Dumbledore of your decision."

"Now for your animagus training.  How goes it?"  McGonagall listened intently as Harry came clean about his unscheduled flight outside of the castle. 

"I didn't mean to Professor.  It just kind of happened."  Harry waited for a lecture as he finished the story.

"Not bad Potter, Not bad at all."  When she saw the surprise in his face McGonagall said.  "You handled the situation with a cool head.  You did exactly what you should have.  Well, maybe you should have come down the stair but I understand why you chose not to." 

"You're not angry?"  The words sort of slipped out of Harry.

"For trying your wings?  I should think not."  McGonagall seemed insulted.  "The euphoria you felt, the wanting to fly higher and farther, was the phoenix dominating your thoughts.  You must work on controlling those instinctual tendencies without suppressing the natural abilities of your animagus form."  

"Oh," Harry felt amazed McGonagall understood all he had felt.  "What now?" 

"First you will practice transforming, holding it for a specific amount of time and then returning to your human self."  McGonagall told him returning his widening smile in her eyes.

In his phoenix form Harry practiced flying around the classroom and landing until the professor would tell him to change back.  He learned quickly not to be perched on the back of a chair when turning back into human Harry.  When the lesson was over McGonagall putt a hand on Harry's shoulder.  "How do you feel?  Tired?"

"A little but not overly so."   Harry considered.  "It's the greatest thing I've ever done."  He added smiling. "Even better than Quidditch."

"That is saying something.  However, you can't catch the snitch as a phoenix."  McGonagall paused for a moment then shook her head.  "At least I'm pretty sure you can't.  Off you go Potter, I've got things to do."

"Thanks Professor McGonagall."  Harry started to leave but turned and gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.  "Thanks so much."  Harry disappeared out the door leaving a very bewildered McGonagall behind him.