Naruto's ran his hands through his blond, disheveled hair as he swallowed another shot of sake. He was sitting at his kitchen table, his legs sprawled out and his back leaning drunkenly against the back of the chair. As he slammed the clear glass onto the table, a bright pink color caught his eye. Clumsily he grabbed for the flower on the table, and held it in his hands, his eyes studying every the curve of every blade and the brightness of every petal. He had given her countless numbers of these over the last few months, and yet...nothing had changed. He still could not bring himself to face her, he could barely even look at her knowing that it was him...that he was the one who had....
Naruto threw the flower down in frustration and placed his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees, as he tugged at the light locks on his head. Kiba had been his rival, as well as his friend. They were similar in many ways, they were both quick to jump into battle and were loud and obnoxious at times, even the loyalty they had felt to Konoha...their friends was similar. Kiba had been her best friend and in an instance, he, Naruto had taken that away from her. He didn't deserve to look at her, to even be near her, but still, he couldn't just sit by and do nothing.
Reluctantly, Naruto bent down and picked the flower off the ground. He turned to the window and noted the placement of the stars, it was getting late, he should be going soon. Naruto stood up with a heavy sigh, he knew he had no right to see her, but for some reason, he couldn't leave her alone.
Naruto sauntered over to his dresser and pulled out a black hooded sweater and a pair of matching pants. Then, with the flower in hand and the hood over his face, Naruto made his way out the door, and down the dark path leading to the Hyuga household.
Carefully he crept through the sleeping compound, making sure to wait for the guards to switch shifts before venturing further inside. Naruto effortlessly passesd through the tops of the trees, passing window after window until he reached hers. He sat there perched on the branch, surrounded by darkness staring inside. He had done this hundreds of times before, but for some reason, he always hesitated before entering her perfect room, the thought of her and what he had done causing him to shake uncontrollably and the hate to spill from his eyes. After a few long minutes, Naruto took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his eyes, forcing himself inside.
Naruto cradled the flower safely in his arm as he finished pulling himself quietly through the open window. When he finished dragging his leg over, he paused for a moment inside the black room, waiting for the familiar furry creature that greeted him every night. Naruto waited for a few excrutiatingly long minutes before a daunting uneasiness overtook him. Swiftly, he moved from the window over to Hinata's large bed in a few large steps and searched for any sign of the sleeping dark haired girl against the pure white sheets covering her bed. A cold shiver ran up Naruto's back as he realized she was gone, where could she be? Where would she go?
His mind spun in a drunken haze, as his eyes frantically covered every inch of her room. As he studied the dark empty space, his fell upon the open dresser and her clothes that had been strewn all over the floor. Naruto's heart sank deep into his chest, as he fought back the strong urge to vomit, as his insides constricted tightly together.
Naruto felt the hot, wet tears running down his cheeks, as he sank to the floor in defeat. He allowed himself to completely let go, as he lay there, huddled on the floor, like a small child drinking in the scent of his broken home for comfort. He stayed there for hours, in her room, the complete weight of what happened pressing him down and breaking him a part. Finally, after three lonely hours, Naruto pushed himself off of the ground and disappeared out the window, the small magenta flower still clutched in his hand.
As he moved through the late night, he could see the small hints of light trying to break over the horizon, pushing the darkness aside. Unconsciously he picked up his pace, following the ritualistic pattern he had developed over the last few months. Thoughts tore through his mind as he tried to figure out to say, what to tell his friend when he saw him. He had a right to know, Naruto had been blind to many things in his life, but he could tell...he could see how he had through his eyes.
Naruto landed in the branch of the giant oak that covered the stony yard as a deep pink began to line the ridge of the mountain top. His heart stopped in his chest, and his breath was taken away, as he looked down at his friends grave. There she was, his pale skinned white haired angel. Naruto watched her sleep as he noted the familiar orange jacket draped across her. Instantly, the familiar pain raged through his body as his throat tightened with guilt.
After a few moments, he forced himself down from the tree, he had to do it, it was the least he could do for her now. He stalked quietly closer to the tiny girl and his heart dropped. She looked so frail, her tiny frame less full then he had remebered and her angelic face was smeared with dirt. Carefully, he bent down and gently placed the flower within the palm of her hand, his fingers enveloping hers for a second as his jaw trembled from holding back the tears.
Akamaru sleepily opened one eye, as Naruto gently swept Hinata's dark hair away from her face and stared longingly at her. Then he closed it again, ignoring the young man who visited his new home every night.
Naruto noted the rising sun in the sky and knew he should be leaving soon, but as he stared down at fragile girl in front of him, he grew more and more reluctant, the strong urge to stay by her side tugging at his heart. Right now, she reminded him so much of himself when they were growing up, no home with no place to go. Loneliness the only friend to keep you company, and he...Naruto had done this to her. Tightly he shut his eyes, too ashamed to face her. Sadly, he gathered himself up from the ground and headed back toward the tree, he had no right to be next to her, to even see her.
Suddenly, he heard the sound of a tree branch cracking in the distance and he quickly hid up in the hanging branches of the giant oak tree he had taken shelter in before.
As he hovered in the branches, spying on the spot where Hinata lay, Naruto spotted a fresh dirt print sitting next to him on the branch. Somebody had been watching him, just then a friendly head of short pink hair came into view. She was carrying something in her arms, it looked like a small basket of chrysanthemums. Naruto's heart skipped a little, in the old familiar way, as he watched his best friend head toward Kiba's grave.
From the tree, he could see Akamaru nudge Hinata awake, before Sakura found her sleeping next to Kiba's grave. Hinata hurried up and pulled Naruto's orange jacket over her arms, and twirled the pink flower between her fingers. Naruto watched as she then kneeled down next to Akamaru and petted her furry friend as she sliently whispered a prayer to Kiba. Hinata stayed in the saintly position, not daring to look up until the green eyed girl had reached her. Then he heard the two kunoichi greet each other as Hinata brought herself to her feet.
"I'm sorry, it's so early I didn't think anyone else would be here." Sakura apologized as she fiddled with the flowers in her basket.
"That's alright, it's nice to have the company." Naruto cringed at the distance in Hinata's voice. It was vastly different from the warm quietness that usually came from her lips.
"Yes, well...I...uh had hoped to visit Kiba's grave on my own, but...it's nice to see you. How have you been?" Sakura asked. Naruto heard the painful guilt lining the confident charade his old friend put up.
"Mmmm." Was all Hinata could manage as she absent mindedly petted Akamaru. The two stood there in an uncomfortable silence unsure of what to do or say to the other.
"Have you...have you seen Naruto?" Hinata wondered. Naruto's ears perked up at the question, she asked Neji the same thing. Why did she care so much? She shouldn't waste her time worrying about a bastard like him.
"No, I haven't seen him since that day. I've even tried dropping by his apartment, but his either gone or won't answer the door." Sakura told Hinata in a worried tone. "I've even tried going by the ramen shop, but he hasn't seen him either, in fact, Ayame hasn't been there either lately."
Naruto watched as Hinata shook her head, a distant look in her eyes. What was thinking?
Sakura paused for a moment, waiting for some kind of verbal response from her friend, but didn't receive any.
"You know, Tsunade is looking for him to, she has some questions about what happened that day. She told me Shikamaru doesn't think things quite add up, and he wants to talk to Naruto personally about what happened. Unforntunately, nothing I remember is accurate, so they can't really use me to figure out where Sasuke is, or how Kiba..." Sakura's voice trailed off as Naruto noticed the tears welling up in Hinata's puffy lavendar eyes.
"I-I should be going." Sakura stuttered as she qucikly bent down and covered Kiba's grave with the bundle of flowers she had been holding. Then she quickly ran through the empty graveyard and down the dirt road in a pink and black blur.
Naruto watched tentatively, as Hinata looked in shock at the place the pink haired girl had been. Her hand reached for the small locket that always hung around her neck, almost as if she were unaware of what she was doing. Curious, Naruto studied the girl intently as she reached for something in her pocket, it was so small he coudn't make it out from where he sat. Carefully, Hinata unsnapped the silver locket from her neck and opened it in the palm of her hand. Her tiny sobs carrying on the wind and catching in Naruto's ears. When she looked inside, he saw her expression change to one of surprise and then fall back into deppression. Hinata meticulously placed the small object she had removed from her pocket and placed it inside her tiny locket, then she lightly kissed the silvery necklace before clasping it safely around her neck once more, and completely breaking down.
Naruto gritted his teeth and clawed through the tree with his nails. Then, he turned and escaped through the canopy of the trees, Hinata's distraught face etched in his mind. When he reached his apartment, he slipped through the door and locked it behind him. Before relaxing, he made sure every window was locked, every door was secured and every shade was pulled down. Then he discarded his black sweater and his undershirt, as he made his way to his cupboard in search of the strongest Sake he could find. When he finally found a bottle, he took it in his left hand and picked up the shot glass he had left on the table earlier. Then, he threw himself down onto his bed and poured himself a shot as he cursed himself, for his failures, for what he did to Hinata, but most of all, what he had done to Kiba. He couldn't control the animal that raged inside of him, and until he could, he wasn't fit to be a ninja.
"Ha" He laughed out loud to himself. "I should be locked up somewhere for what I've fucking become." He mumbled bitterly as he downed a shot and poured himself another one without missing a beat.
"I'm afraid I couldn't allow that to happen." A voice came from the other side the small apartment. Naruto drunkenly scrambled to sit upright on his bed, sending the sake flying as he flung his legs wildly in the air. After he regained his composure, Naruto tried to see into the shadows of his apartment, but he couldn't make anyone out. Naruto stared at the bottle rolling around on the floor and shrugged his shoulders. "I've had way too much to drink." He said bringing the back of his hand to his forehead in a dramatic gesture.
"Yes, you have Naruto, but that doesn't make me any less real. Don't you recognize my voice?" The mysterious person asked with a hint of disappointment. Naruto just stared into the darkness of his apartment in uncomprehending confusion. "As comrades, you should be able to recognize who I am by my voice alone. I really didn't want to have to do this, but I can see I have no choice." The man sighed. Naruto just stared, as a familiar coat emerged from the shadows.
"Sh-sh-sh, Abarame?" Naruto said in disbelief. "H-How did you get in here?" He slurred as he fell back to the bed.
"It would behoove you to lock your apartment when you leave Naruto."
Naruto shrugged his shoulders and eyed the strange shinobi who had been waiting for him. Although Shino's face was covered by the black overcoat he wore, and sunglasses, Naruto could tell his cheeks were puffier and the skin around his glasses was redder, as if he had been crying.
"I can't stay here long. I...I really don't go out anymore, lately I've been a home body, not wanting to go out, not wanting to anyone." Shino mused on this last statement for a moment. "Actually, the truth is I haven't been able to bring myself to leave my house lately, and I haven't been able to see anyone. The only exception to this rule is where Hinata is concerned, and that is actually what I came here to talk to you about Naruto."
Naruto's ears twitched at the sound of Hinata's name. Why did that bug yielding guy want to talk to him about Hinata? "What about her?" Naruto asked.
"I've been watching her lately, wanting to make sure she is okay, but she seems to floundering." Shino answered.
"So, what does that have to do with me?" Naruto challenged as he swayed uneasily in his bed, the guilt burning in his soul.
"Hinata needs someone to be her friend right now, to give her the support she needs through this hard time. Normally Kiba would have been the one to do it, but since he is gone, someone needs to fill his shoes, but I-I am unable to fulfill that role, since I have required more support these days than usual." Naruto shrugged his shoulders as the fire began eating away at his insides.
"So what do you want me to do about it? I'm not Kiba." Naruto shot at Shino.
"Yes, but you do care about her and the way I see it, you are the only one who is able to give her the support she needs to get through this. Besides, I already know you've been following her around, not only have I seen you the few times I've ventured out, but my bugs that I have sent out to check on my teammate have seen you as well." Shino countered smoothly.
Naruto ran his hands through his hair and pulled roughly at the ends. He bit his bottom lip ravenously as he thought of all the pain he had caused Hinata, how could he then be the one to pick her back up, knowing that it had been him that had taken away her happiness.
"I-I can't do it." Naruto argued.
"That is not he Naruto Uzumaki I have come to know and respect. The Naruto I know would gladly do whatever he could to help out a friend in need, even give his own life to protect that person and their home." Naruto flinched at Shino's words, as they pierced him to the core.
"Y-you don't understand Shino. You think you do, but you don't." The fire rose inside Naruto, all his pent up guilt overflowing within him. "I took her home, I took her happiness, I can never give that back to her, I shouldn't even be allowed near her." Naruto roared as he threw the bottle of sake at the Abarame. Shino barely moved his head to the side, as the bottle whizzed past his face and landed in pieces on the floor.
"It is a shame you feel that way Naruto, for now you both have no place to go, and you will both fall into irreversible despair without a home to return to. If what you said was true, if you were really the one who took Hinata's friend, protector and home from her, then you should be a man and make things right, instead of sitting around and whining like a child."
"B-but, I...I don't know how to be there for her, I don't know how to truly give someone the love and support they need." Naruto confessed.
"Then you will have to learn how, Naruto. We are not always equipped to handle what is required of us, the best we can ever do is try. Please just go to Hinata, your presence alone will be enough to sooth her." Shino confided.
"How do you know that? What if it isn't? Then what am I suppose to do? I've already hurt her enough, I couldn't handle it if I did it again." Naruto yelled. "I won't do it, I can't do it."
Naruto grew more agitated as Shino calmly sighed, then he turned around and walked out the door. "I cannot make you do something you do not want to do, but you should know, Hinata loved you, before she ever realized her feelings for Kiba. If you let her down now, I'll never forgive you. I'd suggest you sleep with your eyes open." Then the door slammed shut, and the Abarame gone.
Naruto laid back down on his bed. Stupid Shino, what did he know anyway? How could he possibly understand how he was feeling? He hadn't killed a friend, and hurt someone he cared for deeply. Naruto's thoughts lingered on the words Shino said as he walked out the door. 'Hinata loved you, before she ever realized her feelings for Kiba.' 'Hinata loved you' 'Hinata loved you.' The words replayed in his mind like a broken record. Was that true, but still even she had, she would never feel that way once she realized the truth. She would hate and despise him too, besides, he couldn't help her. He couldn't even help himself, he'd never had a family, he didn't know how to deal with a situation like this.
Naruto flipped over angrily and placed his head on his hands. He lay there, in that position for some time, as he mulled over Shino's words. Eventually, he pulled under by the same mistress of sleep who had eluded for months, and for the first time in days, Naruto slept.
A/N: Due to some anonymous reviews, I have disabled the ability to send me reviews without signing in, if you want to comment on my story, I feel that I should have the chance to at least explain my thought processes and such, it's only fair. With that being said, I have found it interesting how far some people have read just to complain to me about the Kiba part of the story, apparently you found it interesting enough to read to chapter 20 of a story you don't like, fascinating. I have said this before and I'll say it again, this is not a Kibahina fanfic, I made a Naruhina fanfic with the full intention of making this come into fuition. As for Hinata liking Kiba more at the moment, Kiba just died and she has just realized that she has feelings for him, plus he was her best friend, so please, think about the story and the motives of the characters before leaving thoughtless comments, plus, if you were paying attention, you would have realized the sweater she took was Naruto's, she still needs him and cares about him, also I don't remember making fun of Naruto either. There is a lot of symbolism in my story and many themes, so if you don't understand them, please say you don't understand instead of leaving unintelligent comments. Also, I don't want people to get the impression that Hinata's feelings will magically disappear either; although I intend for Naruto to be with her in the end, they still will have a bumpy road, and neither will completely lose the feelings they hold for the other people in the story. The story I have created is more true to real life than Kishimoto's in this respect. I want people to gain something about the complexity of human nature and the way our feelings truly develop, so I will tell you now, if you want the superficial, passionate, you are the only one for me bullshit many writers give their readers on here, please go somewhere else, because my story won't be that transparent. I mean Stephanie Meyer's has already taken the market on a superficial love based around two characters who never develop and never have to really deal with any real problems, so if you're that kind of fan, please stop reading my story, it's not for you. Plus, the good stuff with Naruto and Hinata is going to get going really soon. So the choice is up to you. Oh, and as always, please review.