Not a Chance
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Harry Potter, or any of the characters mentioned in this story, unless stated otherwise. Rated for some sexual content, violence and language. Any similarities to real life are purely coincidence and I will not be held responsible! Thanks!
WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SLASH (male on male)!! Ye be warned
Author's Note: So my bet lasted all of three days…LOL!! I suck… Anyhow, I am really tired so expect vaguely rubbish-like work form me. I still own Rory and Jessica. Cheers!
P.S. – there's def. Some stolen stuff from VG, it's not mine.
---------
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: Sex, Drink and…Christmas?
Sirius strode away; so angry he wanted to cry. But Blacks didn't cry. And most certainly not over such trivial matters as emotions. No, that was ludicrous.
How could Remus…? He knew… Fuck. All he wanted was to go up to his dorm, lock himself in the dorm, climb out onto the roof, and get fucking pissed. So with unseeing eyes, his brain somehow on autopilot, he stomped up to the dorm, extracted his bottle of Rosemerta's finest aged Firewhiskey, and climbed out onto the window sill, and swung up onto the little roof over the window.
It was where he went. Either there or the Astronomy Tower, but as he didn't want to completely freeze his bollocks off, he chose the roof. And after the Cushioning Charm and a few hearty swigs from his bottle, he was hardly worrying about cold or discomfort.
And when his bottle began to look in danger of vanishing completely (however did that happen?) he climbed down and back into the dormitory. James was lying on his bed, pretending to read, waiting.
"Done already?" he asked in a mock polite voice.
"I'll be done when you go to hell" Sirius replied, sitting down on his bed, downing the rest of his bottle noisily, and looking through his bedside cabinet for cigarettes. He finally found a pack from the beginning of the school year (before he was with Remus), and fished out a smoke. Lighting it with the tip of his wand, he pulled hard on it, relishing the feel of smoke hitting his lungs. God it was delicious.
"Sure thing, I'll get right on that."
"Lovely.' Sirius glowered at the wall behind James' head for several long minutes. "So Remus told you."
James sighed to himself. "No. I haven't seen him. But you never go on the roof unless something's up."
"Yeah well…"
"Does Remus know you've been drinking?" Sirius snorted at that.
"I'll be surprised if he hasn't assumed the worst." His tone was bitter. He took another long drag from the cigarette, flicking ash on the carpet.
"Go and apologize already."
Sirius glared at James for several long moments. "Ever stop and think it's not my bloody fault for once?"
"Get off it" James replied. "You're just angry. Just ask Remus to forgive you and I'm sure he will." The sound of the heavy bottle exploding on the stonework to the right of James' head had the messy-haired boy diving out of the way as shards of flying glass burst into the air. "What the fuck?" he shouted.
Sirius grinned. "Fuck off." And with that he rose, grinding the bulk of his unfinished cigarette into the bedside table, making his way to the door.
The common-room was unnaturally loud. Or maybe it was the drink. Who knew anymore? And there were people, everywhere, looking at him, and fucking Remus, sitting there, chatting away, ho-hum, with Rory fucking Macdonald. Fucking A. Fuck…he was drunk to boot.
And Jessica - ah sweet seductive Jessica - all pouty lips and breasts and batting eyelashes, looking fucking delicious. And good God she was coming onto him! But by God how he wanted her. Wanted Remus, really, but as he couldn't have him she would do. There was always someone who would do.
"So do you want to take a walk with me?" Jessica asked. And Sirius was agreeing, leading her out of the portrait hole, not noticing Remus' red-rimmed eyes watching him.
And Remus sighed, looking back at Rory, attempting to tune back into what he was saying, but all he could think was how beautiful someone could look, how fucking gorgeous they could be, when they walked out the door.
---------
It was colder than a witch's tit in January outside, which nixed the idea of the Astronomy Tower for their little rendezvous, so Jessica, instead, led Sirius down a most deserted corridor and into one of those There-For-No-Good-Reason empty classrooms. Locking the door behind them (privacy was a must at times such as these), Jessica came at Sirius like a wildcat. Teeth bumped uncomfortably together as she ravaged his mouth with her own, effectively turning Sirius off completely. There was only one tongue he wanted in his mouth, and hers wasn't it. He retaliated by forcing his own tongue into her mouth, his hands fondling her brazenly, as lipstick smeared onto his lips. Fuck. Another reason why kissing Remus was much better than kissing birds…
Then he remembered Remus was with him and, with his drink-slowed brain following along in the wake, went at Jessica with much more gusto. God, he needed another drink…
---------
Remus Lupin hated himself. More than he thought would be humanly possible, even despite the fact he was a gay werewolf. No, even then, he couldn't be more hate-able.
He watched Sirius and What's-Her-Face exit the common-room, the intention of what they were going to go do blatant; he could see the gleam of sex in Sirius' eyes. Or maybe they were just glassy 'cause he was drunk…
And then he realized how much a person could really hate them self. He followed Rory up the spiraling staircase to the dormitories, his just conveniently the floor below (never mind that Sirius had just been across the room) and allowed himself to be led inside.
Then they were on the bed, and lips and tongues were indistinguishable to one another, and hands fondled brazenly, while breathy deep moans of satisfaction slipped form parted lips. And Remus' pants were off, and all he could think of was Sirius, and how much Sirius was going to hate him, and how much Rory was not Sirius. For one, Rory was not attempting to fuck him senseless into the mattress so much as trying to be the one fucked senseless into the mattress. Remus missed the banter Sirius would come out with at such times; he had always been most vocal in bed, missed the way Sirius would stroke him just so to make him writhe in ecstasy.
And even though he was well aware of what the ramifications (Sirius would have gotten a giggle from that word) of his actions were, he went ahead and did it anyway. He plunged himself mercilessly into Rory's tight passage, right into the hilt, and fucked him like it was the last thing he would ever do alive and well. And there was no doubt in his mind he was doing it well the way Rory was panting and moaning beneath him.
Remus pumped with raw fury, pure carnal pleasure racing through his body, devouring his mind like fire. And then he was burning to death, with the shame and the humiliation and his own orgasm. But when he opened his eyes, he knew he must be alive, as his chest heaved with the exertion, cooling sweat trickling off his body.
"Oh my God…" panted Rory, lying back on the sheets. Remus couldn't look him in the eye. Fuck, he had wrecked everything. "I mean…that was my first…but…just wow." Great. His first time too.
Rory reached out and touched his shoulder. Remus flinched away. Good God, the last the he needed was care and sympathy from this boy he had just used. "Are you okay?"
"Fine" said Remus gruffly. "Look, I don't mean to…I just have…I have to go. I…" He felt the nausea rise up in him. "I have to go." It came out a hoarse whisper, and he started hurriedly pulling on his clothes, not caring about buttons being done up properly or about how he knew he must look. All he needed was to get to his bed…and the nearest toilet.
"Sorry" he barked as he rushed out, swallowing back the bile that choked him. And he didn't even make it to the common-room before he had to dash into a loo and spill the contents of his dinner in the porcelain bowl before him.
And as he sat there on the dusty stall floor, feeling sweaty and cold, tears streaking down his cheeks from the force of his nausea. He covered his face with his hands, feeling even worse. The taste of vomit was still thick in his mouth when he broke down into sobs, crushing his face into the crook of his arm. What the hell had he just done…?
---------
Sirius wasn't sure what had happened between finishing off with Jessica and getting back to the common-room, all he knew was that boobs were definitely one of the things he missed about being straight. That and he probably shouldn't have drunk his whole bottle in one go.
Then, somehow or other, he was looking up at James from a squashy armchair and James was shouting for no reason.
"Do you even care what Remus might feel like when he sees you with lipstick all over your face like you've been snogging some tart? Oh wait, you have been!"
Okay, so maybe there was a reason, it just wasn't the best one…
"James, I'm sitting right here…must you keep shouting?"
"Pads, you're being a fucking ass. So maybe Remus was at fault, fuck, you're acting like an insulted toddler!"
Sirius merely rolled his eyes.
"At least wipe the lipstick of your face" said James coldly after several long moments. Sirius obliged him, just as Remus, looking ill and weak-kneed entered.
James and Sirius gaped at him. Looking like Death had just warmed over and Death had decided to sodomize him in the broom cupboard, he sat down wearily across from them. He stared at the floor and didn't speak.
"Evening Remus" said Sirius airily.
Remus' gaze snapped up momentarily. "Evening." He resumed his inspection of the carpet.
"How goes yours then?" Remus seemed to pale.
"Shut up Padfoot" snapped James tightly.
"No, it's fine, he's free to ask what he likes. My evening is going well, thank you. I'm not feeling well, however, I'm going to go to bed. Good night Prongs…Sirius…"
"Night Mooney" said James quietly.
Sirius merely watched him go. He was then on the receiving end of one of James' punches to the chest. "Oof!"
"You're an ass." And with that, he got up and stormed off to find Lily. If she could get the facts behind all this, then she would be able to put it right…
---------
Sadly to say, Lily was not able to set things right, as both Remus and Sirius, who now barely looked or spoke to one another, remained stubbornly tight-lipped about the whole debacle.
They had reached an unspoken agreement though. Neither were really sure when it happened (whoever really knew in these situations?) but at some point, they had decided that things were irreconcilably over between them.
So, with a frigid and thick tension hanging over the Marauders, who had decided as a whole to not speak of it, the Christmas holidays were at the doorstep, and only one day of classes remained.
James was lying in bed, pondering over how to best ask Lily if she would like to come to his place over the break, when Sirius came in and fell wearily onto the bed. He had just come back from shagging some bird and felt no desire whatsoever to move. Ever again.
"You coming to my place then for the holiday?" James asked absently, as though to reassure himself of this fact.
"Nahh…"
James sat up abruptly, even Lily fluttering from his mind. "What?"
"I don't think I'm going. I'm just going to stay here, maybe pop into the flat to check things…"
"Just 'cause you don't live with me anymore-"
"I'll come round for dinner Christmas night, alright?"
"…Alright. Mum's going to be hacked off at you though…"
Sirius smirked into his quilt. "Tell her she'll just have to find someone new to coddle."
"She'll have Lily," said James dismissively. Sirius sat up at this.
"So she's coming round then?"
"Well…I haven't exactly asked her in so many words yet…" said James, lying back down.
Then Sirius was bounding up and dashing down the stairs, riding the last half way on the railing (something he had been too drunk mostly of late to do effectively) and bursting into the common-room. "Evans!" He jogged to where she sat, not even bothering to look up anymore, and threw himself down on her essay.
"Evans, go to Prongs' place for Christmas."
"What?"
"He's too shy to ask, but he wants you to go. I won't be there. Go."
"Black, what the hell are you talking about?" asked Lily, feeling as though she were talking to a St. Mungo's crazy ward patient.
Just then, James was pulling Sirius away, looking manic. "Sorry Lily…"
"Ask her!" Sirius crowed. "Ask her!"
"Fine! I will if you shut up and go!" Sirius went. "Er…a word Lily?"
"Sure…look, if you are gonna try to rope me into some prank, or try to seduce me or something-"
"No, not today love. I was actually wondering if…if you're not busy or anything…well, if you wanted to er…" he ran a tense hand through his hair. "Ifyouwantedtocometomyplaceovertheholidaysforabit?"
Lily stared blankly back. "Huh?"
"If you're not busy did you want…to come to my place…for a bit, over the break? …And…yeah."
Lily stared at him for a full minute, every second of which was agony to James, her face going slowly bright red, before nodding jerkily. "Yeah…yeah sure. Yes. That sounds lovely."
"Wha-? Oh! Yeah, okay…great…er…"
Lily laughed at his awkwardness and hugged him. "You defy words."
"Thanks?"
"…Sure."
---------
Author's Note: ooh, and the drama continues… YES!! I got this done before I thought I would! YAY ME!!! Anyhow, hope you loved it, so please, read AND review. That's it. Cheers lovelies!!!