Chapter 21: A Then, a Now, and a…
"Hehe… marshmallows… I like marshmallows" Erza blinked and looked over at Salamander, his eyes were half open but glazed over and there was some drool coming out of his mouth "Been a long time since I've had marshmallows… have I said that before… maybe I meant to say it but didn't… or maybe I did say it… Dammit! Now I'm confused."
She sighed and shook her head, as her arm was almost completely consumed by the lacrima. It wasn't the time to start considering Salamander's mental state. She'd need several decades to even begin to understand that.
"Erza?" their eyes met. He had leaned his head back to look at her, his eyes taking in everything from her injuries, to her face, to her arm and shoulder being absorbed into the lacrima, a look of curiosity on his face "Whatcha doin'?" he asked casually.
"Saving you" she answered seriously, finding it amusing to say so "More importantly, I'm also saving my friends" she smiled at him "In reality you're just a fortunate passer-by."
"Oh?" he tilted his upside down head "How you doing that?"
"I'm going to enter into the lacrima and fire all of the magical energy upwards" 'It'll probably destroy me, but…' but she left that unsaid.
"Sounds risky, can your body handle all of that magic power?" he asked sounding genuinely concerned "I mean I ate a bit of it earlier for a power up, tasted foul, but the fire magic in it was pretty good and pretty strong."
"It probably can't" she answered, ignoring the questions she had about him eating the etherion crystal for now "My body... will likely be annihilated."
Their eyes met "Then…" Natsu said slowly "Stop."
Erza laughed humourlessly "I can't do that. I have to protect them, Salamander. I don't know if you can understand that, but my friends are down below, or else they're outside, either way they'll be caught up in this blast. I can't allow that to happen."
"You'll die" he said simply.
"I'll die whether I do this or not" she looked into the lacrima that was pulling her in "This tower will explode and I'll die along with my friends, or I can save my friends but still die. The choice is obvious."
"Erza…" she looked back and found tears dripping out of Salamander's eyes.
"Salama…" she began.
"Stop!" he turned over and struggled to his feet, slipped and slammed into the ground with a painful thud "Stop it Erza!"
"Why do you care Dragneel? We're enemies" "…the woman I love…" those words echoed through her head "Why?"
"BECAUSE!" Natsu roared, struggling up again, he crawled across the ground but after two paces his legs gave in and he slammed face first into the crystal. He kept struggling, even as his wounds reopened from the impact of his falls and his movements grew even more careless as wet blood made the floor slippery.
"Because…" she whispered. But what did he mean? 'Because' of what? Because she won? But as Jellal had pointed out, she hadn't, she hadn't pierced his heart, she hadn't attained victory. She had defeated him but she hadn't won. But what else could there be? Was there another reason he might say something like that? Was this all just a ploy to get her to drop her guard? But no, he wasn't the type. He loved the fight, the fist and the steel and the fury and the blood. Mental torture wasn't his idea of fun.
"Erza…" his voice was quiet as he inched closer, dragging himself on his arms, blood pouring out around and over him "Don't leave me…" he looked up at her, tears dripping down his face, pleading in his eyes "Don't leave me, Erza. I can't go through it again, I can lose it again. So please, live!"
"Salamander…" her torso had been consumed while he crawled and the crystal was pulling her deeper, her neck being dragging in. Pain wracked her body as the magic power coursed through her as she felt it all.
Natsu looked up at her with pleading, reaching out to grab her. He looked so like a child then, like a little child lost alone confused and hurt. Part of her was tempted to reach out and take his hand.
She didn't.
Erza placed a comforting smile on her face, not even sure herself why she was doing such a thing, but faced with such a raw display of emotion even she could not help but be touched, even if it was from him of all people. It was almost amusing, all that time spent hating him, and in her final moments pitying him.
Salamander's fingers hit crystal, staining it red with his own blood, Erza's face had passed beneath the surface, her eyes closed shut, that smile still on her face.
"ERZA!"
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"What is this?' she was floating, but in what Erza had no idea, just… something 'Is this the afterlife?' she wondered 'Wait, is there even an afterlife…' she frowned 'But if there isn't then what is this? ARGH! I'm having a religious crisis…' she screamed, then stopped, her face going from panicked to calm in but an instant 'But… this place is strangely soothing.'
A memory passed before her eyes, there one moment, gone the next, of Porlyusica, of her artificial eye, of Master.
'Is this the Etherion?' almost instantly she knew the answer "No… its different… warmer…' then suddenly her world shifted and changed and she was… 'I see.'
HERE LIES ERZA SCARLET.
A graveyard in the rain, mourners assembled in black, a tomb with a bouquet of flowers laid atop, and a statue behind of a knight sat upon a horse. All of them stood there, Gray, Lucy, Cana, Mira, Elfman, even Master, they all stood, in front of her grave.
'So… I really am dead' she was still floating in an endless world, but she was seeing as well, the future, the present, the past, one, all, none.
"She…" Master began, his voice choked, so unlike the usually angry Master who yelled at 'his brats' for misbehaving, secretly and not so secretly amused at their antics "Erza Scarlet, was loved by god and she loved god, and she loved all of us, her dear friends" Erza looked around at the faces around her "Her heart was bigger than the endless sky, and her sword gleamed brilliantly for the sake of those she loved. Her figure, dancing like a fairy, was more beautiful than any of nature's great vistas. Love makes people strong and it is love too that can make people weak" he sniffed.
'Master… All of you…' Why… why where they all sad? Why were they all so close to tears? Why were they all crying? WHY?
"I…" Master sniffed again "I loved her as my own daughter" his own tears started to fall "I pray that she might rest in peace…" and he could go on no further.
There was movement, figures in cloaks walked through the rain and towards the tomb "The Magic Council has voted unanimously" they spoke, the magic council, a one-eyed man standing at the forefront "One of the two newly opened seats shall be granted eternally to this woman. Erza Scarlet shall henceforth be counted amongst the Ten Wizard Saint, forever."
Erza looked around and found not one face happy, not one face anything other than heartbroken, tears were falling. Gray gritted his teeth, holding a crying Lucy while crying himself. All of them were crying, Nab, Max, Elfman, Macao, all of them… but… why?
'I did it for them' she said, tears in her own eyes 'For their futures, for their lives. So please…' she sniffed 'Please stop crying for me. This isn't the future I wanted, I just… I just wanted you all to live happily on. I'm not… I'm not someone to cry over…'
The scene shifted so fast it gave Erza vertigo, and she was no longer in a graveyard, no longer surrounded by friends, instead she was…
'Salamander… and…'
The Torched Heaven marked leered out at her, on a ripped off forearm, on the bloodied remains of a midriff, and on the thigh of a young pink haired girl upon whose stomach Salamander sat, covered in their blood.
"Natsu… why?" the girl asked.
He didn't even look at her, just grabbed a hold of her head and slammed it into the ground, hard enough to crack it and let blood pour forth.
'His allies… why would he?'
"I told you" Natsu said talking to no one "I said, I wouldn't let it happen again, haha" he laughed. Sat there, covered in his comrades blood, their corpses strewn around him, and all he did was laugh "What do I do?" he asked "Alastor, what do I do?" the red haired man had no answer, he was a corpse after all "Spitfire, what do I do? Ayano…" Natsu looked up at the sky, with his lip quivering "Ghost… what do I do? I lost it, the person… I lost that person again, Ghost, I finally found them and now…"
He blinked, and grinned, realisation appearing on his face.
"That's right… I know what to do… I always knew… I always, always knew what to do. You told me, what to do, you told me to… to… TO BURN EVERYTHING!" and flames roared forth, set to consume the world.
Erza was smothered by the flames, the heat of them licking painfully at her skin, the world around her all aflame, nothing was spared. And then something grabbed her, she was wrapped up in strong warm arms, and…
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'What… What is this?'
Corpses, ten or more of them, all still burning with brilliant golden fire, long after the people were dead. A man stood there with a brown goatee and a bald head, and even grey eyes, watching the flames. And Salamander was there as well, younger, smaller, still with that scarf wrapped around his neck, looking miserable.
The man looked at Salamander, took but a moment to decide, and set his flames towards the boy.
"Dad" a voice whined "You didn't need to kill him, he was a kid."
The bald man looked at the brown haired teenager stood next to him who shared his eyes sternly "Even a child can be a threat. We cannot risk a…" his words faded away, as his flames were consumed. The pink haired boy was eating them, gathering them up and swallowing them down like they were food.
And then the pink haired boy burped "Thanks for the food" he said in a subdued manner.
"That… THAT WAS SO COOL!" the teenager rocketed towards him, getting far too close for the pink haired boys comfort "That was awesome! How did you do that? Can I learn how to do that? YOU'RE AWESOME!"
Though she didn't know the name of the brown haired, grey eyed teenager, though she had never seen him before, though she knew nothing that would suggest it, Erza knew who he was, knew his name.
'Ghost.'
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Life flicked past her eyes, so many good memories all made bitter by time. An old man called Bwerno teaching him about fire magic, a girl called Gwyneth teasing him and being teased in turn for her growing affection for Ghost, Charmain patting him on the head and offering him a smile that was so gentle, so warm, so kind. And Ghost, of course, Ghost was almost always present, teasing, smiling, cheerful and friendly. His first night at Heaven Defiled Natsu had cried, he had cried for the father he lost. Then Ghost rolled over, snoring so loudly it was obviously fake, and 'accidently' hugged Natsu.
And Natsu let him.
And the cold came too, the screams, the begging, the cries for mercy, and fire flashed before her eyes as bodies were burned. They weren't good people, they didn't do good things. They were criminals, thieves, murders.
Natsu first kill was to protect Ghost, the burnt corpse lay before him, and a cold feeling stabbed in his chest, like an icy hand around him heart. Natsu didn't like the cold, it felt cold. Then Ghost wrapped him in his arms and the cold went away.
There were others, other lives taken, none taken easily, each time he took a life Natsu felt cold, and each time he felt cold Ghost warmed him with his words, with his smile, with a hug or with a pat on the head. Life moved on and Natsu and Ghost grew closer, an almost brotherly bond between them, Natsu was the younger brother Ghost didn't have, Ghost was the older brother Natsu now had. Life was good.
And then…
"Lullaby?" Ghost said to Charmain "I'm not sure.
"Eh, come on Ghost it'll be fun" Natsu encouraged, grinning "An evil piece of Zerefian magic, hehe, maybe I can go all out for a change."
Ghost was unconvinced, but a mischievous smirk played across his lips "I wouldn't advise it Natsu, going all out might get you arrested for public indecency, so be careful.
Natsu twitched "FUCK YOU GHOST!"
The scene flashed and she was…
"You're such an idiot Natsu" Ghost, lying on the ground, his body beaten, stabbed, broken and burned, so very burned. Burns covered half his body, his face, his friendly cheery face, now a blackened mess, a blackened mess that still managed to grin that same old grin.
"Ghost… I didn't… I…" Natsu crying, his entire soul aching, the pain he felt was too much, like his heart was being ripped out of his chest, while his stomach was dragged up his throat, while someone caved in his skull with a bat and at the same time crushed his lungs.
Erza felt it too, his pain, that agonising pain.
"Natsu… I…" Ghost looked up at him, with his even grey eyes, the perfect balance between light and dark "Burn… everything… t…" and then he was gone, a final grey flame burning in his palm.
"The Ghost Flame" he told Natsu a few days after they met, a grey flame burning in his palm, black and white mixing in the flame, and perfectly grey, it seemed almost spectral, like wasn't quite of this world "It's not very useful really, because while it burns just like a regular flame, the burning doesn't harm anything, it can't cause any damage, only pain."
'It's beautiful' Erza thought.
"It's beautiful" Natsu said, staring at it entranced. He flicked his finger through, and found that it hurt, a fire that burned him, Charmain's hadn't, Bwerno's hadn't, no one's fire had ever burned him. But he could feel pain from Ghost's, pain but no harm.
Ghost laughed "It was originally invented as a torture magic, no damage so you could burn away as you like. Still thinks it's so beautiful now?"
Back in the then Natsu bent down and ate the flame, his eyes snapped open, raging fire magic burnt forth, consuming all around him, even Ghost's body. Everything was set aflame, and unbeknownst to Natsu until much later, he entered into Dragon Force, the ultimate state of the Dragon Slayer, where they were more dragon than human.
And through it all, his rage, his fire, all of it, Natsu cried.
Agony reared through her like a barbed spear, she could feel his pain, his misery, his suffering, everything. She could feel it all, and…
"Ghost is dead" that was how Natsu told Charmain the news, blunt insensitive crude, but Natsu had little left but those things, for the thing most important to him, the thing he lived for… it was gone "I killed him" it was true, it was an accident, he never meant, he would never mean to do that, but it was undeniably true.
Charmain was silent for a long time. Then finally he spoke "You are more valuable than he."
Pain ripped at her heart again.
Natsu was so angry in that moment, he wanted to hit Charmain so much, but in the end the knowledge of how painful it must be for the older man to even think, never mind speak, those words held him back.
Death and murder came more swiftly now, more brutally, more painfully and with less guilt. He no longer felt cold as he murdered someone, in fact he felt elated. To kill was to be alive, and their pain… their pain eased his own, made him feel better.
But most of all he sought Death, he sought the end, the final end, he sought strong opponents, seeking the end he craved. Why not just let himself die? Why not just allow a lesser opponent to end him? Why? Not even Natsu knew the answer to that question. Perhaps because it wouldn't be a fitting end, perhaps because Ghost would've never wanted him to die, perhaps because suicide or anything akin to it felt too much like running away, from life, pain, misery and all the others things people want to run from.
"You monster."
"You killed her, you bastard YOU KILLED HER!"
"Please no, please spare me, please…"
"I don't wanna die!"
How many lives had he taken? How many fires had he extinguished? How many great and powerful people, pioneers and law makers, heroes and legends, had he murdered before they ever had the chance to do their great deeds that would go down in history? How many families had he broken? How many people burned to death before his eyes? How could a person do such a thing? Why would a person do such a thing?
"Natsu what happened with Ghost?"
"Leave me alone Gwyneth" Gwyneth, the girl who liked Spitfire.
"Natsu I know you you…" he hit her, the Celestial Spirit mage went for her key. He grabbed her arm, burnt the key, then burnt her.
The humanity in him was dead.
He was a monster.
More screaming, more blood, so much fire, burnt flesh and smoke, urgh the smoke. It was choking, suffocating.
It filled her lungs until she couldn't breathe, until she didn't want to breathe.
"In my moment of weakness you gave me the words I need, told me I was not a monster but a man, complete with all the flaws of a man" Alastor, shortly after the older man had joined Torched Heaven, shortly after Natsu had broken him out of the stinking prison cell he had found him in "I owe you… everything."
Natsu's response was simple "I've got enough useless shit, keep your everything."
"It might be strange since you're younger than me, but" Spitfire, speaking to him after consuming a few too many one night "I really admire you Natsu."
He had been confused, what was there to admire? But he made little comment, just sat there bored, waiting for the next job, the next kill, the next fight.
"Natsu… I… I want to thank you. I was stuck in a miserable existence, every day was so boring and so dull, it's only now that I realise that that house was suffocating. But you saved me from that, so… thank you" Ayano, thanking him with flushed red cheeks.
A few days later he went to her home and slaughtered her family.
And then everything changed.
She saw Salamander and her meeting in Hargeon, only now remembering the man she had bumped into and realising it was him. Her first fight with him came in crystal clear detail, everyone move, every drop of sweat. And then she saw what happened afterwards. He obsessed over her, there were few who survived their first meeting with him, and fewer still who remained a threat, and he craved that threat. In a few short moments she had become his entire focus, his entire life, nothing but her mattered. But he expected her to die just like the rest of them.
She didn't.
Their next fight was related in similar detail, down to the last drop of blood. And she won where all others had failed.
But she hadn't killed him.
He had a revelation in that moment, Erza could barely understand it, but he had had one, and then she had become his everything. The most important person in the world to him, the woman he loved, the one thing that made life worth living. It was her.
And then…
She blinked, her eyes slowly opening, and looked up "Natsu…"
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Gray awoke on the beach, looking around. He was still alive, and he hadn't been unconscious very long either. He found Lucy and Juvia lying entangled together in a manner he would've found most embarrassing, and rather erotic, had the situation been any different. Sho, Wally and Millianna were all piled on top of each other to his other side.
The others slowly came too as Gray forced himself to stand, looking for the tower, for the light, for Erza.
He found nothing but a fading night.
"Gray" he turned to look at the blonde girl stood next to him now, her eyes trained on the horizon, seeking what he had sought, and her heart broke when she too found nothing "Gray… Erza is…"
He gritted his teeth, forcing his tears back. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't, because Erza couldn't be dead. She was too scary, too strong, and too awesome to die. She'd come splashing towards them any minute now.
The others were awake, some were crying but Gray didn't care which. Juvia was standing a ways off, unwilling to intrude upon this moment even though Lucy was far too close to her Gray-sama, but Gray didn't notice her either.
"Natsu…" he blinked and looked around, had he just heard "NATSU!" a pink haired girl came rushing past him. Gray stumbled back. The girl reached the water before someone grabbed her, a man older than her with spiky orange hair. Gray recognised him as Spitfire after a moment, the emotions whirling in him affecting his brain.
"Ayano! Stop, just stop!" Spitfire yelled, his arms locked through Ayano's as she struggled.
"NATSU!" Ayano screamed at the top of her lungs, tears streaming down her face "NATSU!"
Lucy watched her cry and scream and struggle, she felt like doing that as well, crying, screaming, struggling. Her heart would've gone out to the pink haired girl, if it wasn't in such agony 'That girl is crying so genuinely and so honestly, over someone like him?' for all the time she had knew him Salamander had been an enemy, a strangely popular dark mage before she knew him, then an enemy and nothing more but 'But they really did care for him.'
Spitfire, he was crying as well she noted, and looking around she found the oldest of the three watching from further back, one hand limply holding his katana, his expression devoid of expression but misery was shining through all the same.
"NATSU!" Ayano screamed again, struggling against Spitfire "YOU PROMISED! YOU PROMISED WE'D GO AND SEE FIREWORKS! YOU PROMISED SO PLEASE… please… PLEASE COME BACK, NATSU!"
'Erza…' Lucy felt her own tears begin to fall, Gray too was struggling and failing to hold them back.
"NATSU!"
"Jeez, Ayano, can you be a bit quieter please."
Ayano blinked "Huh?" that voice, that voice was… that was… "NATSU!?"
They turned as one, the whole group, not just the two Fairy Tail Mages, not just the Tower of Heaven slaves, but all of them. Torched Heaven, currently between guilds, former slaves, and Fairy Tail's alike.
And there he stood, Salamander, proud, shirtless, grinning, shoeless, wounded, with the morning sun rising and casting its warm glows across his bare chest and smiling face… and carrying in his arms a red-haired woman.
"Erza!" Lucy cried out in relief.
Natsu stepped forwards and instantly Lucy recoiled, but it didn't stop him and he continued on, heading straight for Gray. Gray met his eyes as he headed forwards. Erza was conscious, awake and alive, and while she didn't seem too comfortable she wasn't complaining either, so Gray didn't try and skewer Salamander right away.
"Here" Natsu said, offering the girl in his arms to the shirtless, pantless, but still wearing boxers and shoes Gray. He looked ridiculous.
Gray carefully and unsurely took her, a bit uncertain about the current situation "I'm fine" Erza told him in that stupidly stubborn way of hers. He let her try to stand on her own as Salamander turned and walked away, she nearly collapsed so he gave her his shoulder to lean on but let her stand on her own two feet.
"Oi!" they all jumped as Natsu called loudly, he was mock glaring at three of them "Are you three coming or not?" he asked, placing his hands on his hips. He grinned "We're off, come on."
Spitfire grinned and chased after him, Ayano too beamed a bright smile, Alastor smiled a small smile, before wiping his face clean of emotion and following.
"Sala…" Erza began, but that didn't feel right, after what she had seen, after everything, calling him something so impersonal felt… wrong "Dragn…" but that too was wrong "Natsu!" he turned and looked at her, her confused face. She was unsure of what to think, what to feel, unsure of everything, but he had saved her, of that she was sure. He smiled at her, not a brutal grin, not a teasing smirk, but a kind gentle smile, then he turned his head and walked on.
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"Natsu…"
"Don't say a word" he had told her, back there, on the beach, walking steadily across the sand towards the group of people just visible in the light of the unrisen sun "Let me talk" but for a while nothing was said "All those years ago, when Ghost lay dying before me, he told me 'Burn everything…' that's what he said.. but it's not what he meant" Erza blinked "I knew" he sighed "I always knew, I just didn't want to know, cause it was so much easier to just burn everything. That was simple, a simple life" another moment passed in silence "'Burn everything that would hurt you, because to me you are the most important thing in this world. So burn and keeping burning, until you find someone you don't want to burn, until you finally find someone to love as much as I love you, until you find the person he is most important to you in this world" he smiled at her as their eyes met "I've found her…"
Okay, so this chapter is really early, its also really short, but anyway, I'm posting it as its done. If you don't like it feel free to tell me this time around, I'm in a much better mood now. Also be thankful, while I could make you all think 'Ahh, its ending again!' and am strongly tempted to do so. But I won't, instead I'll confirm another chapter and a continuation of this fic.
So enjoy yourselves, or don't, review if you want, or don't if you don't.
Toodles.
P.S: Don't expect another chapter this week (you might get lucky but don't get your hopes up), you might have to wait until the Saturday after next Saturday for the next so be warned.