HELLO MY FELLOW KLAINERS! How awesome is the box scene, huh? I love it to bits and pieces! It made my whole existence worthwhile! ;D
Also all of your reviews for the last couple of chapters made me so incredible happy! Thank you guys so much! I hope this chapter makes you happy, too.
I don't own anything except grammar mistakes and Blaine's tube of hair gel, haha, he won't get it back so soon. ;P
Enjoy! :)
Breakfast at Tiffany's
On Saturday morning Blaine woke up with a start because someone shook him by the shoulder.
"Sorry to wake you," Mike said, hovering over him. "We're supposed to be meeting the guys in an hour and I don't know how long it takes you to get ready."
"Uhm, it's alright." Blaine sat up and rubbed his eyes. He felt groggy. It had been a short night and he didn't sleep much. Yawning he got busy in the bathroom. Mike's family even had spare toothbrushes for guests. However Blaine was missing one essential thing.
"Uh, Mike, you don't have hair gel, do you?"
Mike shook his head with a grin. "Sorry, friend. You will find no gel in this house."
"Damnation," Blaine muttered under his breath, staring at his reflection. As always his hair was an untamable mess. He splashed a handful of water into it to wet it and comb it down. Leaning in the doorway Mike watched his attempts with an amused grin.
"I should let you know that we won't be able to sneak out of the house without having tea with my family first," Mike warned his friend. "I already told them that we're having breakfast at the Lima Bean so they won't be offended if you turn down my mother's breakfast. I suppose you don't want chicken feet soup to start your day with."
"Chicken feet soup?" Blaine repeated with arched eyebrows, not sure if Mike was pulling his leg.
"It's delicious but it needs getting used to." Mike shrugged. "We have weird eating habits. Tina always has excuses not to stay for dinner."
"I'll just have some tea then," Blaine said.
They kneeled down on pillows around a low table and Mike's mother served rice balls and soup and other stuff for breakfast. Blaine was introduced to Mike's father and the rest of the Chang family. Mike's sister Myoko smiled across the table at him, popping rice balls into her mouth.
Mike's grandparents were slurping their soup and nodding at Blaine welcomingly while Mike's little brother couldn't sit still and begged to be excused to go back to play some video game in his room.
Blaine was cupping the large cup of tea with both hands and blew softly over the hot sweet smelling liquid.
"What do you want to do after school, Blaine?" Mike's mother asked, sounding genuinely interested. "Have you applied to colleges already?"
"I hope to get into NYADA so I can follow my boyfriend to New York," Blaine told her. Just when he saw Mr Chang's face fall at his words Blaine noticed his slip. He shouldn't rub the fact that he was gay right under their noses.
"Ah, the arts," Mike's father now said, shaking his head with a sigh. "What is it with this generation going for the arts? Mike is no different with his desire to become a dancer. But knowing that he's very talented we let him follow his destination."
Blaine let out the breath he'd been holding. This was what he was being judged for? That he chose an arts school?
"So your boyfriend lives in New York?" Mrs Chang asked excitedly. "Ah, it's such a wonderful city. We've been there last year and went to see The Phantom Of The Opera on Broadway. It was so wonderful. But I feel for you, my dear. A distant relationship must be very hard."
"Well, uhm, he's not in New York yet. He's graduating together with Mike and then he's off to New York. I'm a junior, so I have to wait another year."
"You're a junior? Really? You look older if I may say so."
"Well, yeah, I'll be eighteen in a few months." Blaine didn't elaborate. They surely thought he was very dumb or very lazy and had failed in class.
"Our Cousin June had to repeat a year, too," Myoko chirped up. "She's been to the hospital for a long time because she's been so sick."
"I've been to the hospital for quite a long time, too."
The girl looked at him with sympathy. "Are you better now?"
Blaine gave her a nod along with a smile. "Yes, I'm much better now, thank you."
Mike and Blaine left the house together, but drove each in their own car because Blaine was meeting Kurt afterwards. When Blaine parked in front of the Lima Bean he could tell by the cars that all of the other boys were already gathered. To his surprise Finn was sitting on a bench outside. His shoulders were sagged and he looked worried and unusually serious. When Blaine approached Finn rose to meet him and the deep frown directed at Blaine was a sure sign that Blaine was in trouble.
"Hey Blaine, can I talk to you for a sec?"
The way Finn said it made Blaine's stomach churn. Finn sounded like he was doing his best to contain himself and not kill Blaine off right on the spot.
"Yeah, sure. What is it?" Blaine stayed a few feet away from him.
"What happened last night?" Finn asked, folding his arms across his chest.
Blaine's heartbeat sped up. "What do you mean?"
"Duh!" Finn rolled his eyes. "Kurt came home crying. He was supposed to spend the night at your house. Ring any bells?"
"He cried?" Of course Blaine had figured that Kurt had been upset about his stupid and irrational behavior last night, but hearing that his boyfriend had actually cried caused a sick, nauseating feeling in the pit of Blaine's stomach.
"Yes," Finn replied harshly. "I've never seen Kurt cry so hard before. I figured you must have done something to him but Kurt wouldn't tell me anything. I even brought him a glass of warm milk to have one of those lady chats he loves so much but he simply refused to tell me what was upsetting him. And then to distract himself he watched one of those old soppy girl movies that didn't really help lifting his mood either."
Finn opened his arms, shrugged and looked absolutely clueless.
"Tell me, dude, did you two have a fight or something? I know that it's not really my business and I wouldn't make such a fuss over nothing especially since Kurt isn't accusing you of anything but," Finn raised a clenched fist at Blaine and spoke very slowly and clearly, "I noticed that he has a swollen lip and if you hit him I can't guarantee for anything."
"I didn't hit him." Blaine said miserably, shaking his head. "I'd never hit him! But yes, I'm responsible for his bruised lip." He admitted quietly and ashamed.
Finn sighed deeply. "I really like you, Blaine, but I can't let you hurt my brother. I don't want you guys to fight. Kurt can take all the crap in the world but he can't take it from you, man. It's not right. Like I said I don't know what happened and he didn't say a bad word about you but I just know it was your fault that he was upset. I can't stand to see Kurt unhappy. Whatever it is you guys argued about, I want you to fix it, dude," Finn pointed a finger at him warningly. "Soon!"
Blaine just nodded eagerly because he felt like his voice would crack if he spoke.
"So yeah, that's it. That's all I wanted to say." Finn smiled again and turned from the threatening big brother back into the friendly big dog that he usually was. He gave Blaine's shoulder an affectionate knock and then motioned for him to follow him inside.
The boys had gathered around two tables in a big circle, talking and laughing and eating when Finn and Blaine joined them. Blaine had a nervous stomach and didn't order anything to eat. He just sipped his coffee and prayed for the time to pass by quickly so he could finally talk to Kurt and make things right.
"Guys, before we start on discussing our ideas for the competition there's something I want to talk to you about," Finn announced solemnly and Blaine was thinking once more that this would be much easier for Finn if he had a gavel.
"Guys, would you listen for a minute?" Finn tried again to no avail.
"Guys, it's about Kurt!"
Suddenly everyone was quiet and turned their heads to look at Finn.
"What about Kurt?" Artie asked.
"He's having a hard time lately and I wanna cheer him up," Finn explained. "So I came up with this idea..."
Finn usually wasn't the most observant guy so it took Blaine by surprise that he'd say that Kurt was having a rough time. But then again being slushied twice a week was an obvious sign that this hadn't been a great week for Kurt.
"Is this about Azimo slushying Kurt?" Puck cut in before Finn could tell them what his idea was. "'Cause I totally put salad cream into his shower gel tube. The next time he takes a shower after practice we're all gonna have a laugh."
"Well done!" Artie said and high-fived Puckerman.
"Why did Azimo do it anyway?" Blaine asked and shrugged to show that the slushy attack was incomprehensible for him. "Just for fun or what?"
"Azimo's pissed off because he thinks that it's Kurt's fault that his best buddie Karofsky transferred to another school," Finn explained.
"So what?" Blaine huffed and rolled his eyes. "I suppose no one went up and slushied Karofsky when Kurt had to leave McKinley because of him? What, Puck?" Blaine turned sharply to Puckerman who was gaping at him wide-eyed for the last couple of minutes.
"Sorry, dude," Puck blinked. "But your hair is so big! It's really distracting."
Now all of the boys turned to gaze at him.
"Holy crap!" Sam said, snickering and covering his mouth with one hand.
"Is that your real hair?" Artie cleaned his glasses to have a better look.
"I went out of gel," Blaine murmured defensively and tried to smooth down his curls with both hands. It had been a mistake to damp his hair with water because once it dried his curls got even worse. He didn't need a mirror to know that he looked ridiculous because the open-mouthed stares and impolite giggles by his fellow glee clubbers was all the confirmation he needed.
"Hey, let's get back to business, guys!" Finn raised his hands up to gain attention. "About my idea to cheer up Kurt..."
"What's with the weird tension between Rachel and Kurt for the last two days?" Puck asked, impressing everyone with his observant eye.
"That's about Rachel getting her NYADA letter on Wednesday," Sam explained and took a bite of his chocolate cookie. "Mercedes says Rachel's even more annoying than ever now that she's has it in black and white that she's amazingly talented."
Blaine listened up. "Woah, wait! Rachel's NYADA letter arrived?"
Finn nodded proudly. "Yep! Came this week. She's a finalist!"
"What about Kurt?" Blaine asked astonished. "Didn't he get a letter?"
Finn suddenly seemed very interested in the advertising on the napkin holder. "Uhm, I don't know..."
"You don't know?" Blaine asked incredulously. "How can you not know if Kurt's NYADA letter arrived?"
"Sorry but I'm not allowed to talk about it," Finn admitted in a murmur. "He'll kill me if I say anything. He's already on the edge because Rachel bugs him every day about it."
Blaine crumbled up his napkin. What was this all about? When Rachel's letter had arrived already chances were that Kurt's letter had arrived as well. Why hadn't Kurt told him about it? Why wouldn't he allow Finn to talk about it? Why the secrecy?
"Sugar joined the girls, by the way," Mike suddenly announced and made the boys's heads turn into his direction.
"Really?" The boys made big eyes. Apparently this was news to them.
"I thought Mr Schue only allowed seven people onstage," Rory pointed out, clearly baffled. "Did he change the rules?"
"Don't know," Mike shrugged. "I only know that it caused a big uproar within the group. Not all of the girls seemed to be fond of Sugar joining in the performance one week away from the competition. Apparently it messed up their rehearsal schedule."
"Good for us," Artie grinned. "When the girls are fighting each other we have better chances at beating them."
"Hey everyone!" Finn spoke up again. "Listen up! I have an idea how we can show the girls who's wearing the pants, well, sort of. At the same time we can make a point that we support Kurt and have his back and that we're not afraid to show it."
Finn let his slop-sided grin show. "Who's in for a very special impromptu performance?"
"Depends," Puckerman said, suspiciously. "What's your idea?"
The other guy's eyes grew big and bigger when Finn told them about his idea. "I know this is most likely the craziest thing we'll ever be doing as a group but I dare you to be man enough to join me in this. So, who's with me?"
They were reluctant at first but Blaine was amazed that starting with Rory all of the guys raised their hands. Of course Blaine got his hand up, too. He had to give Finn some credit for bravery because his idea was either brilliant or completely stupid. Just the thought of doing this was a weird mix of 'Hey this should be fun!' and 'God, no, you can't seriously wanna do this!' However, Blaine figured that as long as they stayed together as a group it should be more fun than scary.
Finn gave a happy drum roll with his fingers on the table. "Awesome! You all just signed up for rehearsal all day long tomorrow so we can deliver a perfect performance on Monday!"
"On Monday?" Everybody groaned.
"Yes, I already talked to Figgins yesterday," Finn explained. "I made sure we can use the assembly hall for the performance. So we gotta rehearse on Sunday."
The boys meeting lasted for almost two hours and as soon as they said their goodbye's Blaine texted Kurt.
Meeting's finally over! Where do you wanna meet up? – B
His phone buzzed with Kurt's reply only a few seconds later.
Stay right there. I'm dying for a coffee! Be with you in fifteen. – K
The next fifteen minutes proved to be the longest in Blaine's life.
He went to the men's restroom twice, fussing over his awfully curly hair and his clothes from yesterday. There was no way Kurt wouldn't notice he was wearing the same clothes from the day before. But it was too late to drive back home and change. It was also too late to drive to the nearest shop to buy some hair gel.
He would just have to step up to Kurt the way he was and hope that Kurt didn't run away screaming. Maybe if he had some gift to distract him with... Suddenly Blaine realized that he really should have gotten Kurt some kind of apology gift! At least he could have bought Kurt some flowers. Roses! But of course now it was too late to get some! With a groan he buried his face into his hands.
"Screw my life!" he murmured, banging his forehead on the table.
Well, the least he could do was get Kurt some coffee. So Blaine got in line and ordered Kurt's favorite as well as another one for himself and settled down at his table again, glancing at his watch.
Kurt was late by a couple of minutes.
Blaine drummed his fingers on the table.
Kurt was never late.
Did he keep him waiting on purpose? Sure he deserved it but Kurt wasn't cruel like that.
Did he have an accident on the way? Did he change his mind about meeting him? From his seat Blaine had a straight view to the door and he watched it impatiently. However, he couldn't see the parking lot. Somehow that made him nervous.
After a few more minutes Blaine scooped up the two cups of coffee and walked across the shop to peek out of one of the windows overviewing the parking lot.
This was the second his heart froze.
Outside there was Kurt standing next to his Navigator, his back to the coffee shop. He was talking to a tall slender guy whose nasty grin and arrogance was beaming all the way over into the Lima Bean to pierce a stab right through Blaine's stomach.
Oh God! Sebastian was talking to Kurt!
Blaine hurried outside and crossed the parking lot as fast as he could without actually running and tried not to look as panicked as he felt.
"Heeeey!" he said as he approached them, meaning to sound cheerful but his voice sounded wrong even to his own ears. "There you are, Kurt! I was already wondering..." He stopped next to his boyfriend, holding up the two coffees for dear life.
Kurt's face was stone-like and pale as he was glowering at Sebastian.
"Oh hey, Blainers!" Sebastian greeted him with a wide grin and Blaine hated how Sebastian used his mother's nickname for him. "We were just talking about you!" Sebastian said airily.
A fear crept up inside of Blaine and he searched Kurt's face for a hint of his mood or a clue of what has been said so far, but Kurt's face was expressionless which usually wasn't a good sign.
"I was just saying how much I adore all of your performances!" Sebastian elaborated and winked at Blaine. "You know, at the musical, at Sectionals, in bed..."
Blaine's gaze strayed to Kurt before he shot Sebastian a hateful glance. "You better get lost, Sebastian. Neither of us wants to hear what you've got to say."
"Ouch! Such harsh words!" Sebastian put a hand on his heart as if he was wounded. "But Kurt and I were having such a lovely little chat. N'est-ce pas?" Sebastian turned to look at Kurt again, speaking French to him, knowing very well that Blaine didn't understand one word of that language.
Kurt replied to Sebastian in French and now Blaine was trapped helplessly between their French bitch talk, both with insanely wide fake smiles and their voices sharp as Ninja swords.
Blaine wanted to tell them to stop but he couldn't. It was like watching a train wreck happening, no, worse, it was like he was dead and watching his own funeral. Whatever Sebastian was telling Kurt was his death sentence. And he couldn't even punch Sebastian in front of Kurt without knowing what was being said, it would make him look like an angry Neanderthal and he didn't want to scare Kurt away with even more violence. He had to stay calm. So he concentrated on his breathing and tried not to freak out.
Easier said than done when he felt like throwing the coffees at Sebastian and kick him right in the nuts again because there wasn't anything he could do to stop Sebastian from ruining his life.
The exchange didn't take long but far too long for Blaine's scarred little heart pounding in his chest like a frightened rabbit in a cage.
Finally Sebastian made his excuses. He smiled at Blaine and licked his lips in an alluring way. "Gotta dash but I'm sure I'll be seeing more of you another time, tiger."
Blaine couldn't reply anything to that except pull a disgusted face and silently thank the heavens above that Sebastian left.
Kurt let out a long sigh, probably having similar thoughts.
Blaine searched Kurt's face again anxiously, trying to find out how much damage was done.
"Is that for me?" Kurt took the coffee with his name written across the cup and lifted it to his lips. "Thanks, I really need something strong now."
"What did Sebastian tell you?"
"Nothing worth repeating," Kurt said, wrinkling up his nose, not looking at Blaine but gazing after Sebastian's car.
With his free hand Blaine reached out to take Kurt's hand, but at the same time Kurt raised his own free hand to fumble with his scarf. This little movement was enough to stir up Blaine's paranoia. Had Kurt anticipated his move and avoided his touch because he hated him now? Blaine snapped.
"WHAT THE HELL DID HE TELL YOU? I NEED TO KNOW!"
He yelled in sheer panic and grabbed Kurt's arm. Kurt looked at him, his eyes wide with shock, spilling some of his coffee over his hand when Blaine yanked at his arm.
"Blaine!" Blue eyes were piercing into his own, holding him in place, not letting him break eye contact. "Calm down."
Blaine took a deep breath and nodded quickly, letting Kurt's eyes steady him.
But a new wave of panic was washing over him. Oh no, he'd lost his temper again!
"Oh God, Kurt, I'm sorry," Blaine took his hand away which he realized was still clutching hard at Kurt's arm. "I... I didn't mean to yell at you." Blaine said near tears. "It's just... whatever he told you, it's not true!"
Kurt looked at him with wide searching eyes. Blaine expected him to say, 'That's it, I'm not gonna let you yell at me like that. I'm done with you.'
Instead Kurt nodded towards his Navigator and said calmly, "Get in my car."
"What?" Blaine stared at him as if he was talking in a foreign language again.
"I said get in my car," Kurt repeated and then tilted his head and added with a cute voice, "Please?"
Kurt opened the passenger side's door and waited until Blaine got in, then closed the door with a soft click and went around the hood to take his seat behind the steering wheel. Blaine thought Kurt wanted to talk in the car, safe from the prying eyes of bypassers on the street. Instead Kurt put his coffee into the cup holder and started the engine, stirring his car slowly off the parking lot. He shot Blaine a sideway's glance. "Buckle up."
Blaine put his coffee into the holder next to Kurt's to fumble with his seat belt. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see," Kurt answered mysteriously.
Blaine clasped his hands together in his lap to stop his hands from shaking. "Kurt, about last night..."
"Sshh," Kurt raised one finger to his lips. "Let's not talk about it in the car."
"Okay," Blaine agreed. However, he couldn't just sit still and silent next to Kurt, it made him feel like all those awful times when he had been in the car with his parents as a little kid and his parents just had a fight and wouldn't talk to each other. The silence would kill him. He needed to talk to Kurt, if only some light chatter.
"So what's going on in the girl's camp?" Blaine asked. "Tell me more about your fight with Sugar."
"Well, actually Rachel and Sugar were fighting at first," Kurt answered. "Sugar was accusing Rachel of not having any talent and we had to restrain Rachel from stuffing her NYADA letter down Sugar's throat." Kurt chuckled at the image. "Don't get me wrong. I like Sugar. She's got an enviable self-confidence. She's sweet and funny, but do I think she's talented? Deeply and importantly talented? No. Amusingly and superficially, yes."
Blaine squinted his eyes because he had heard that line somewhere before. Was Kurt quoting a line from a movie?
"But still she's got one big advantage." Kurt let out a sigh. "She's a girl."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Blaine chuckled. "You don't want to be a girl."
"No, 'course not but if I was at least I'd... Oh, never mind." Kurt broke off with a sigh.
"What? What did you wanna say?" Blaine prompted.
"No really, I can't." Kurt inclined his head at Blaine and pulled a face. "Competition secrets. The girls will kill me if I blurt out our decisions concerning the girls vs boys."
"But it's something you're not happy about?" Blaine guessed and he guessed right. Kurt's slight shrug and sad smile was telling enough. Kurt had been so excited about the girls versus boys competition but now something happened that clearly had crushed his spirits.
Blaine stared out of the windshield to get a clue to where they were going. After a few turns he noticed that Kurt left town and drove off towards a small hill in the woods surrounding Lima.
While they were driving Blaine took the opportunity to check out Kurt's clothes, noticing that his boyfriend had dressed up for their meeting. He wore his favorite knee-high black boots, a white skinny jeans and his creamy white burberry trenchcoat. Also a purple light scarf with a firm knot around his neck. Blaine was sure Kurt hadn't planned to go hiking with him. Yet he drove down the forest road right into the woods.
Kurt turned into a narrow road leading up the hill and Blaine wanted to point out that there was no space to avoid a crash if another car came down the same road but then he trusted Kurt to know where he was going.
"Are you going to expose of me here?" Blaine asked jokingly, not able to remain silent any longer. "Kick me out of your car and leave me in the woods to die?"
This made Kurt chuckle. "Oh darling, I'm not going to leave you! Cross my heart and kiss my elbow!"
Blaine looked at him longingly. Oh Kurt, can you repeat these words without laughing, please?
After driving up the hill for a while Kurt left the road and followed a narrow path until they reached a small clearing where Kurt parked his car. He unbuckled his belt and checked his appearance in the rearview mirror, touching the bags under his eyes with his fingertips.
"Gosh, I look like crap," Kurt sighed but added with a funny voice, "but ah well, there are certain shades of limelight that can wreck a girl's complexion." The close-mouthed giggle that followed helped easing Blaine's tension. Apparently Kurt was in a good mood despite of all the shit going on right now. However, Blaine couldn't help but cast him a puzzled look. He didn't like that Kurt was referring to himself as a girl.
Kurt took his coffee and got out of the car. Blaine followed him. However, there was nowhere to go. They were surrounded by trees and bushes and a big rock.
Kurt walked off towards the rock.
"Where are you going?"
To Blaine's utter surprise Kurt squeezed himself along the rock wall, holding a nasty branch out of the way and reaching back to offer his hand. "Follow me."
Blaine's heart skipped a beat as he took Kurt's hand. In this moment holding Kurt's hand meant everything to him.
They fought their way through a couple of more bushes, always alongside the rock and trying not to lose their coffee cups. Blaine noticed that it was an actual footpath they were following, it was just overgrown. When they finally reached another clearing Blaine was overwhelmed by the view.
They were higher up than he'd expected and in front of them was Lima and some towns beyond. With the sun shining through the trees and no sounds but the chirping of birds it was a beautiful peaceful little spot on earth. Also with the big rock in his back and the whole of Lima in front of him Blaine felt safe. This was a secret place. There was no one but the two of them and a few birds and squirrels in the trees.
Granted, the slope to their feet looked rocky and was dangerously steep but if you stayed away from the edge you had nothing to worry about.
It was windy up here but the cold air was refreshing and Blaine shifted closer until his shoulder touched Kurt's shoulder.
"You've got leaves and thistles all over you." Blaine pointed out, knowing how much Kurt hated dirt on his clothes but he didn't want to let go of Kurt's hand to help him brush it off.
Kurt just shrugged and took a long sip of his coffee, then sighed and let his gaze stray into the distance. It was beautiful up here, standing next to Kurt, hand in hand and each holding their coffees, just enjoying the view together.
"What is this place?" Blaine asked when Kurt wouldn't speak.
"This is where I go to when I need to be alone," Kurt explained. "To clear my head. To escape from reality. Or just to scream my head off." He gave Blaine's hand a little squeeze. "So if you need to do some more yelling today, you're welcome."
"I guess I've done enough yelling. Sorry about that." Blaine turned an apologetic gaze at his boyfriend. "So, really? You come here to yell at the trees?"
"I used to come here a lot, yes," Kurt admitted and his eyes strayed down the steep slope. "At the time when my dad was in a coma I was even tempted to jump."
Blaine looked at him in silent shock, knowing from the seriousness in Kurt's voice that he meant it. He followed Kurt's eyes down the hillside and imagined being so alone in the world that the fear of losing your only relative made you consider suicide, and his heart ached at the thought that his boyfriend had once felt so hopeless.
Without a word Blaine turned around and pulled Kurt into a hug.
Immediately Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's back and they held each other tight for a long time, not speaking but breathing hard and feeling each other's heartbeat.
Also, trying not to spill their coffees over one another's backs.
"Sometimes I feel like smashing mirrors, too, you know?" Kurt said with a sad smile when they parted again. "I understand that feeling."
"About last night..." Blaine started but Kurt cut him off.
"Let's sit down, okay? I feel a little weak..." Kurt swayed a little and Blaine grabbed his arm for support. "Baby, what is it? Are you gonna faint?" Blaine led his boyfriend over to a long smooth rock that was like a perfect bench up here.
"I just haven't eaten anything yet, that's all," Kurt said, sitting down and folding both hands around his coffee.
"You should never skip breakfast," Blaine said worried, although he hadn't eaten anything himself.
"I just couldn't eat anything," Kurt gave a slight shrug and tilted his head towards Blaine.
Blaine took Kurt's hand and laced their fingers together before he raised it to his mouth to kiss the back of it.
A smile appeared on Kurt's lips. "Okay, let's talk. Ladies first?" At Blaine's raised eyebrow Kurt added with a grin, "That'd be me then."
"Kurt," Blaine chided gently. "I don't like it when you refer to yourself as a girl."
"Oh, c'mon, we have established right from the start that I'd be the Sally to your Harry." Kurt winked at him. "But all right, let's get serious. You asked what Sebastian was just saying to me." Kurt looked Blaine square in the eyes and shook his head slowly. "Blaine, it doesn't matter what he said. His words can't touch us."
"But he's on a mission to tear us apart!" Blaine tried to point out the seriousness of the situation. "He tries to play us against each other."
"I know that Sebastian has a huge crush on you. He's desperate, because he's biting on granite at your end, so now he tries to weaken me." Kurt said with a one-sided shrug. "He wants to scare me away, but he won't succeed. I won't let him get to me or to us."
Blaine looked at Kurt, at this incredible wonderful strong person sitting next to him.
"Why not?" Blaine asked quietly, almost inaudibly.
"Because I love you too much to give up on you," Kurt said firmly and squeezed Blaine's hand for emphasis. "And I know you feel the same way about me. Sebastian has no chance to tear us apart."
Was it really this easy? Blaine's heart was beating painfully in his chest as he nodded to Kurt's words.
"I'm sorry I spoke in French with him, I shouldn't have done that in front of you," Kurt took another sip of his coffee. "If you want me to I'll repeat every word we said in English, but trust me, it's really not worth repeating. I didn't really listen to what he said anyway because I was too distracted by his giant horse teeth. They're huge! It's just impossible to look away!"
Kurt laughed again and Blaine felt so happy he could cry. He had expected Kurt to be jealous and angry and accusing him of cheating or whatever. But all Kurt did was making fun of Sebastian's teeth. A tear slipped down Blaine's cheek slowly and he bowed his head, feeling so relieved.
Kurt put his coffee on the ground and Blaine closed his eyes when he felt Kurt's thumb on his face, stroking the tear away, and he leaned into the touch as Kurt cupped his cheek.
"I'm so sorry about last night," Kurt said with a soft voice.
Blaine looked up, baffled. "What are you sorry for? You have nothing to be sorry for, Kurt!"
Kurt put his hand over Blaine's lips. "Ssh, honey, please hear me out."
Blaine looked down at their linked hands and nodded.
"I'm sorry I left," Kurt said, giving him a rueful smile. "I was afraid that if I stayed you'd get yourself into such a fit of rage you couldn't snap out of it anymore and hurt yourself even more than you already did."
"Hurt myself? You were afraid I'd hurt myself?" Blaine clutched the warm cup of coffee to his chest. "Weren't you scared I'd hurt you?"
"Hurt me? No," Kurt said with genuine surprise. "You wouldn't hurt me."
"I pushed you," Blaine gave him a long-suffering look.
"You didn't mean to hurt me," Kurt locked eyes with him. "Blaine, I've been shoved enough times by guys who meant to hurt me to be able to tell the difference. But to tell the truth, I didn't know how to handle you. I tried to stay calm as not to trigger you even more. It took a lot not to let my bitchy side take over."
"Kurt, it won't happen again, I promise!"
"Don't make promises you can't keep, darling." Kurt put his hand on top of their linked fingers, stroking Blaine's knuckles. "Blaine, I know there is this anger buried deep inside of you, the kind of anger you have no control over. I also know that horrible things must've happened to you in your past, things worse than my experiences with Karofsky or the occasional slushy in the face. I understand that you don't want to share these dark memories with me. With anyone."
Blaine bowed his head and chewed on his lower lip. Kurt let his fingers run along the line of Blaine's jaw, and with one finger lifting his chin, making him look up and meet his eyes. "But honey, you gotta find a way to let these emotions out and deal with them. Because I don't want something like last night to happen again."
"I don't want that either," Blaine agreed with a tiny voice.
"Good, then consider yourself warned because the next time you go all mad on me again for no reason but your own insecurities I'm gonna knock you out for your own safety." Kurt gave him a crooked grin.
Blaine smothered a laugh. "Okay, you can hit me as much as you want to. I deserve it."
"Blaine, I'm worried about you," Kurt turned serious again. "I don't want all those dark memories to eat you up from inside. I know that these kind of bad memories are impossible to forget and the more you choke them down they'll find a way back to the surface."
"I'm fine, Kurt," Blaine said automatically.
"No, you're not!" Kurt objected and gave his hand a rough little shake. "And for this downright lie I should slap you across your head."
"I'm sorry," Blaine sighed. "You're right. I'm stressed out lately. I get angry at the tiniest things."
"Please understand that I don't blame you for being angry, Blaine," Kurt said. "But I want you to find a way to heal. You need to cope with your past. Don't you think that perhaps talking about it would help? Honey, please know that you can count on me to do whatever you need me to do."
Blaine looked up again and into Kurt's concerned eyes. He loved the way Kurt always used terms of endearment when he talked to him. Before he'd met Kurt he'd never thought he was much of a pet name person.
"I thought I'd coped with my past a long time ago. But somehow... the way Sebastian's stalking me reminds me of stuff I thought I'd forgotten," Blaine finally admitted. "He's... he doesn't leave me alone no matter how often I tell him to get lost. It's not just words or harmless flirting anymore." Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand tight for support. "He's touching me, groping me and he kissed me once and when I defend myself he says it only turns him on even more." Blaine shook his head. "He's threatened to destroy our relationship if I didn't do what he asked. That's why I was so on the edge when I saw him talking to you."
"Blaine, this is a serious matter," Kurt had gone pale and his grip on Blaine's hand tightened as well. "You gotta tell anyone. He can't get away with this, he must be charged!"
"I told my dad!" Blaine replied with a bitter laugh. "I told him that Sebastian was harassing me, you know, sexually," Blaine shrugged, it was still hard saying these things out loud. "My dad said there was nothing I could do about it because Sebastian's father was a freaking rich VIP and I'd better not mess with him."
"All right, I'm going to kill him!" Kurt declared fiercely. "The next time Sebastian just looks at you I'm gonna kill him! And if your parents don't take you seriously I want you to come and live with us. I'm sure my dad and Carole would be okay with it and..."
"No, no, baby, it's all right." Blaine smiled at Kurt gratefully. How could he ever have worried that Kurt wouldn't believe him? It was an enormous relief to tell his troubles to someone who believed him and continued to stay by his side. Kurt's outrage was genuine and it made Blaine happy to know that he cared so much about him. "Thank you but there's no need for me to move in with you..."
"No, I'm serious!" Kurt exclaimed. "I don't want you to be home alone with this smirky meerkat lurking about just waiting for his chance to jump you!"
"Well, I'm going to talk to my mom about it today," Blaine said, surprising himself. But after the talk over the phone with his mother he had his hopes up that his mother's concern about him was genuine. "We talked last night and she apologized to me," he told Kurt. "She even told me to ask you to come for coffee and cup cakes today. That is, if you like."
Kurt considered the invitation and narrowed his eyes. "If you want me to come I'll come with you for emotional support. But I think it might be better if you and your mother took the opportunity to talk alone and you know, make up. I suppose there's a lot of stuff you guys should settle first without me sitting on the couch between you. If your mother wants to invite me again, however, I'd love to come another time."
"I guess you're right." Blaine nodded and sighed. "Kurt, I'm so sorry I lied to you about Sebastian and kept secrets from you. I thought I could deal with it on my own and I just wasn't ready to talk about it..."
"It's all right," Kurt assured him. "Now you know you're not alone in this. You've got me and I've got your back if you let me."
Blaine put his coffee down and latched both hands on Kurt's tightly. "So you forgive me for everything?"
"Well," Kurt smiled sadly and drew a breath. "I have my own confession to make. I kept secrets from you, too."
Blaine looked at him stunned.
Kurt licked his lips and tilted his head. "You probably have heard by now that Rachel got her NYADA letter?" He took Blaine's silence as a yes and continued. "Remember when we were on the phone the other day and I said I hadn't received my NYADA letter yet?"
Blaine nodded numbly.
Kurt sighed. "Well, I had. But I found I wasn't ready to talk about it. Because when I finally held the letter in my hands it was like reality hit me. This was it. I was holding my future in my hands. What if the letter told me I was accepted? It would mean that I would go to New York in a couple of months." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hands harder and smiled teary-eyed. "Something I've dreamed about for years suddenly was within reach and it scared me. I needed some more time to think about what I really want today, that's why I didn't tell anyone. Of course Rachel figured that I must have gotten a letter, too, and believe me, she's giving me a hard time about it."
"What does the letter say?" Blaine asked quietly, trying not to look as scared as he was. "Are you a finalist?"
Kurt held his gaze and a loving smile curled up his lips as he lifted his hand up again to tuck a stray curl of Blaine's dark hair behind his ear. "I really like your hair like this. It's so soft." Kurt let his fingers run through Blaine's curls, slowly caressing his scalp with his fingertips and Blaine was tempted to just close his eyes and lose himself into the sensation of Kurt's hand in his hair. He raised his hand and caught Kurt's to hold it.
"Just tell me," Blaine said with an encouraging smile. He didn't want Kurt to think he wouldn't support him when he left for New York. Although it would be hard, somehow they'd manage to succeed in this distant relationship challenge. "I want to know if I can look forward to receiving picture postcards from New York."
Without another word Kurt reached into the inside pocket of his coat. A second later he held a letter out for Blaine to take. The envelope was crinkled as if Kurt had carried it around and touched it a lot over the past few days.
Blaine took it carefully and looked at the sender. "It's your NYADA letter," he stated the obvious and then looked up at Kurt incredulously. "You haven't opened it yet!"
Kurt nodded firmly and kept his eyes on Blaine. "Because I don't care what it says."
"What do you mean you don't care?" Blaine exclaimed aghast and looked at Kurt as if his boyfriend had gone insane. "This is your future, Kurt! This is all you've ever dreamed of!"
Kurt took the letter back from Blaine's hands and without batting an eye he tore the envelope into pieces again and again and again.
"Kurt! Stop it! What are you doing?" Blaine took the pieces of the letter away from Kurt before he could tear at it once more.
"I'm not going to New York," Kurt said matter-of-factly.
"What? But this is your dream!"
"No, it's not." Kurt shook his head with a sweet smile on his lips. "You are my dream. I don't want to lose you, Blaine, I don't even want to risk losing you and what we have.
"Don't do this, Kurt," Blaine shook his head fiercely. "Don't give up New York just because I got all whiny about it yesterday."
"This has nothing to do with what you said to me last night," Kurt assured him. "When I got the letter I realized that going to New York would mean that I had to go there without you. And I'm not ready for that."
Kurt shrugged.
"Believe me, I've had a nightlong discussion about it with my parents and we talked about all options, you know, weighing the pros and cons, but in the end they said it was my decision and they'd have my back whatever I decide. Now, I'm a big boy, I'm strong and independent and I can definitely make it on my own. I have no doubt about that."
Kurt smiled down at their hands and rubbed small circles into the back of Blaine's good hand. "But I don't want to. The day I'm leaving for New York I want you to be with me."
"But Kurt, you're gonna lose one year!"
"What's another year in Lima?" Kurt shrugged again. "As long as it's a year that I can spend with you. That's all that matters to me. I'm gonna find me a job and save some money so we can buy fabulous new stuff for our first flat together. If I can't find a job I can always work at my dad's."
"Are you really sure about this?" Blaine looked like Kurt had grown two heads. "I don't want you to do this for me because, well, you know, you might regret it one day."
"Blaine, I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for me," Kurt said, and his eyes glistened when he repeated the words Blaine had once said to him, "because I can't stand to be apart from the person I love."
Blaine melted at the sight of that toothless smile and his eyes welled up with tears.
"You'll always come first, Blaine. I love you more than I love standing on a stage in the spotlight. I don't want a distant relationship. Whenever I need you I want you to be within reach. A phone call won't do it for me. I need a hand to hold and a look into your eyes, and not on a computer screen. I need to feel you, I need you to be right here. I can't have that when I'm in New York."
Kurt smoothed one finger over Blaine's eyebrows and got all teary-eyes himself.
"Also, when you need me, I want to be able to drive to you and see you within the hour. Whenever I try to imagine what it would be like to be so far apart from you I get all emotional."
Blaine felt an immense weight lift off his heart when the fact slowly sunk in.
Kurt would stay. He wouldn't leave.
The sheer relief brought tears to his eyes and he felt like he could finally breathe properly again. Even after he'd treated Kurt so badly and kept stuff from him he still stood by his side. How did he deserve such an amazing boyfriend?
"I love you so much," Blaine whispered, his voice heavy with gratitude.
He captured Kurt's face with both hands and kissed him. His lips tasted salty from his tears mixed with coffee.
"I love you, too," Kurt whispered against his lips and rested his forehead against Blaine's.
Blaine pushed his chin forward to meet Kurt's lips again. It was a tender kiss at first but after a moment it grew deeper, more desperate and passionate.
"We could've done this last night, you know?" Kurt teased him when he caught his breath after a while.
"I promise next time I'll use my energy only to please you," Blaine promised. "No more breaking mirrors."
Blaine traced his hand over Kurt's leg and rested it on his knee. "By the way, I really like your clothes today. Why didn't you tell me last night that you wore Finn's clothes because you'd been slushied?"
"I didn't want to upset you," Kurt replied and rolled his eyes at his own words. "Just look at us, a fine pair we are," Kurt said, trailing a hand down Blaine's chest, "keeping stuff from each other in a poor attempt not to upset each other. But Blaine, it hurts me to see you're trying to deal with problems on your own and not confide in me. We've always been honest with each other. If we now start having secrets one day we might feel like we can't tell each other anything anymore. I appreciate that you don't want to upset me but you can't stop me from worrying about you anyway so you might as well tell me what's going on."
"You're right," Blaine agreed. "No more secrets."
"No more secrets!" Kurt confirmed.
"So…" Blaine waved the torn pieces of the letter at him. "Don't you wanna know what it says?"
Kurt shook his head frantically, almost terrified.
"You gotta read it," Blaine insisted.
"No, no, no, I'm not ready for it!" Kurt hunched over and hid his face in his hands.
"You cannot not read it, Kurt," Blaine said. "You know, at least you gotta tell them that you're not going."
"Oh Gosh, alright, but hand me my purse, will you, darling?" Kurt sat up straight again, smoothing his hands over his legs. "A girl can't read that sort of thing without her lipstick."
For a second Blaine looked around in confusion because Kurt didn't bring his satchel but then it finally clicked and Blaine grinned from ear to ear because now he was certain that Kurt was quoting lines from a movie.
With trembling hands Blaine put the pieces of the letter back together. Part of him was hoping that Kurt had failed because his decision to stay - his sacrifice - would be less painful then. "Dear Mr Hummel," Blaine read in a murmur, "we're delighted to inform you... Kurt, you made it!" Blaine looked up with tears in his eyes. "You're a finalist!"
"Oh God, really?" Kurt let out a little happy squeal and launched himself into Blaine's arms. Blaine hugged him tight, feeling proud of his boyfriend and at the same time so sad and guilty.
"I'm a finalist!" Kurt let out a happy sigh.
"You can still go," Blaine said hoarsely.
"No, I made up my mind already. I'll stay." Kurt leaned back again and wiped at his eyes, he was beaming with pride. "But when I made it this year chances are pretty good that I can make it next year again, don't you think?"
Blaine nodded and took a deep breath, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by his love for his boyfriend.
"Did I tell you how divinely and utterly happy I am?" Blaine smiled cheekily at Kurt, waiting for him to get the clue.
Kurt's face lit up, instantly recognizing the words and grinned back at Blaine. "Why, I certainly hope so, Fred."
"I am not nor have I ever been Fred," Blaine knew the lines by heart.
"You know your lines very well, Mr Anderson," Kurt teased with an amused spark in his eyes.
Blaine smiled cheekily. "You've watched Breakfast at Tiffany's last night, didn't you? You already made four references to the movie in the last fifteen minutes."
"I'm impressed," Kurt smiled. "How come that you know the movie so well that you recognize quotes from it?"
"I've seen it like a hundred times together with my mom, but I never really liked it that much," Blaine admitted and when Kurt shot him an incredulous look he added, "I mean Audrey Hepburn throws her cat out of the car to abandon it! The poor cat doesn't even have a name!"
"So your mom made you sit through a movie you hate again and again?" Kurt raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"Well, not really. It's just that my mom's totally into Audrey Hepburn movies and I just liked sitting with her when she watched them. Did I ever tell you that my mom actually named our cat after the movie?"
"The only thing I like about your cat is the name," Kurt chuckled.
"You know I had thought that you and my mother would get along so well because you're into the same movies and stuff. But she never gave you a chance."
"Perhaps she's ready to do it now," Kurt offered with a reassuring smile. "Besides, she's got no other choice but to get used to me because I'm gonna stick around whether she likes it or not."
Suddenly Kurt shivered and closed his scarf more tightly around his neck. "Geez I forgot about how chilly it can get up here. Let's get back to the car."
They fought their way back along the rock and through the bushes until they reached the clearing again. This time Blaine helped Kurt brush off all the dirt from his coat and pants. Kurt laughed and batted Blaine's hand away playfully when Blaine insisted that there was particularly much dirt on Kurt's backside.
"Backseat?" Blaine asked with a hopeful raise of his eyebrows.
"Backseat it is."
They sat close to each other in the back of Kurt's car. Blaine placed his hand on Kurt's neck, caressing the warm smooth skin and trying to unknot his boyfriend's scarf. He needed to feel more of Kurt's skin.
"Wait. Tell me something about your old high school," Kurt asked, taking Blaine's hand and placing a kiss on his bruised knuckles. "Anything."
"Now?" Blaine didn't want to talk about it.
"Please. Anything."
Caught in the gaze of that earnest blue eyes Blaine gave in. He took a deep breath and searched his memories for something that wasn't too hard to tell. But none of it was easy.
"Remember when you told me about how you and Mercedes became friends and how she thought you were dating?"
Kurt rolled his eyes with an affectionate grin tugging at his lips. "Geez, the girl busted my car window, how could I ever forget that?"
"Well, in the first couple of days in high school I was pretty much a loner until I met this girl, Jenn, and we became like best friends right from the start." Blaine tilted his head and bit his lip. "One day she tried to kiss me. It turned out she had been thinking that we were dating the whole time. She was my friend so she deserved to know the truth. I told her that I was gay."
Kurt watched him with a tension that was palpable. "What happened?"
"Unfortunately, she didn't believe me," Blaine answered. "She had a very low self-esteem and thought I'd made it up as an excuse so I wouldn't have to date her and that I was a coward not to tell her what she thought was the truth. That I thought she was unattractive or something. I wish she'd busted my car window."
Blaine let out a bitter laugh. "Instead she did something worse. To pay me back for breaking her heart Jenn outed me. She told everyone at school that I was gay. Although she didn't really think that I was actually gay she wanted me to become the gay dude at school. She wanted to humiliate me and ruin my reputation. Well, she succeeded in that. She told vicious stories about me and because of that some guys started picking on me. And that's when my life in high school became hell. I tried to tell someone what was happening. But you know, the teachers just shrugged and told me that if I was gay my life was going to be miserable. Better get used to it."
Blaine looked down at their hands, so glad Kurt's hand was there for him to hold.
"Well then let's prove them all wrong," Kurt whispered close to his ear, making him shiver, "by making your life wonderful."
He cupped Blaine's face in one hand and stroked his thumb over his cheek before claiming his lips with his own. They kissed and everything else faded away. Dark memories and fears. The past became meaningless, all that mattered was the wonderful and exciting touch of Kurt's hands and lips and their bodies close together, sharing a heat and passion and love for one another that no one could ever take away from them.
Quotes from the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's:
"Do I think she's talented? Deeply and importantly talented? No. Amusingly and superficially, yes."
"Cross my heart and kiss my elbow!"
"There are certain shades of limelight that can wreck a girl's complexion."
"Hand me my purse, will you, darling? A girl can't read that sort of thing without her lipstick."
"Did I tell you how divinely and utterly happy I am?"
"I am not nor have I ever been Fred."
Next chapter:
Blaine has to deal with a furious Rachel Berry.
Rick the Stick gets into trouble.
Blaine and the ND boys give a very special impromptu performance on Monday and end up in Principal Figgins office. ;)
Also, Blaine has an appointment with Mrs Pillsbury to talk about his future. Perhaps Kurt doesn't have to stay in Lima on his behalf?
If you liked this chapter please review! :D