This chapter will be in Sam's POV

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE : Honesty

After three hours, we finally had everything we needed for the summoning spell.

Now we just had to hope it would work.

Lighting the match, I tossed it into our bowl.

At first it was just a minor blow up, some smoke, and then nothing.

But then we heard him.

"What the fuck…" Dean said, disbelievingly.

"Dean?" Castiel said, staring at him wide-eyed. Cas and I didn't expect it to work and by the look on Dean's face, neither did he.

"You got to be fucking kidding me." My brother complained, obviously not pleased.

"You left in a hurry." I said, taking a step towards him. We were in the bunker's dungeon and Dean was in the middle of a devil's trap.

"You know this," He said gesturing at the devils trap, "doesn't do anything." He casually strolled out, crossing his arms. "I was in the middle of something important."

Looking down, I could see Dean was holding the First Blade with fresh blood dripping from it.

"Yeah, looks really important." I spat, looking with disgust at the Blade.

Dean's eyes turned black and his nostrils flared. "Last time I checked slicing through Alastair was important. Not that I need your approval."

I could see a series of different emotions playing across Dean's face. They ranged from sorrow, regret, anger, smugness, and many others I couldn't name.

At least he was showing some emotion.

"So what is this, huh? You going to try and cure me? Haven't we already been around this circle Sammy?" He scoffed, shaking his head.

"Remember how it stopped working last time? We thought it was a tolerance to the stuff?" Cas asked, a smug grin crossing his face.

Dean just raised an eyebrow, waiting for the angel to continue.

"I think it was because it was working. I think you were borderline human until you got free." Castiel finished.

"So what? Are you going to cuff me again?" My brother glanced around the room. "I don't see any spare demon warded cuffs. The devils trap doesn't do shit. What exac-" He was cut off by the sound of a gunshot. "What the fuck…" Looking down at his chest, he dapped at where the bullet had gone in.

Lowering the gun, I smirked at Dean when he tried to lunge towards me, but couldn't.

"What did you fucking do?" He spat, glaring at me, eyes black.

"Insurance. I took a play from Crowley's playbook and carved a devils trap Cain tipped us off to in the bullet. Sorry Dean, guess you're stuck with us."

….

"I can't be hearing this right. You're telling me, that Dean Winchester escaped from our grasp yet again, John Winchester is dead, and Alastair as well?" Abaddon scoffed. "You really didn't want your Christmas bonus." Standing up, she stabbed the lower-class demon through the throat with an angel blade.

"Fine Sammy. You want to play tug-o-war? We'll play tug-o-war."

….

"So let me get this straight, you're bringing me out in the open because why?" Dean asked, sitting down at the kitchen table in the bunker.

"Well, we were hoping that being around things that you're human half knew will trigger something." I was making a fresh pot of coffee, my back to Dean who was firmly stuck in his spot by the bullet still lodged in his chest.

"Yeah, great memories at this table. Remember when you told me you'd let me die? Good times." Dean quipped. I knew he was just trying to find my weak point, but this time I wouldn't be sloppy enough to let him.

"That's not… That's not what I meant." I said, trying to keep my voice level.

"And what did you mean exactly then Sammy? I'm dying to know. Because that was certainly what it sounded like. 'No Dean, I wouldn't'. I can't tell you how many times I replayed that in my head, how many times it was in my nightmares." Dean said through clenched teeth.

"I'm not explaining myself to you. Not… now you anyways. Ask me again when you have your humanity back." I hissed, turning to face him.

So much for being professional about all this.

"Who says I want it back?" My brother said, his voice getting low and serious.

"What?" I had to ask, I almost didn't hear what he said and I had to be sure I heard it right.

"I don't want to be human again Sammy. Not after all I've done. You gotta know it'll kill me. All the guilt, the self-pity, I'll be downright suicidal." I could tell something was changing inside of Dean. We had already injected him three times by this point but they didn't think it had started doing anything.

Of course Dean was right.

Of course I knew he was right.

Of course I knew the risks.

But I couldn't let him live like this.

"I know the consequences Dean to getting your humanity back, but I think we can-" I started.

"If you say work through it, I swear I will kill you. There is no working through it. You really would do that to me Sam? Really?" He said, looking at me as if I was the monster.

"What about when you made the decision to put my soul back into my body? You knew the risks Dean. I could've died, hell I almost did, but you still stuck it back inside of me."

I knew it was a low blow to bring up almost five years ago. But he had to know it was the same thing.

Dean laughed bitterly. "Good argument Sam. If you haven't noticed, things are different now!" He yelled, obviously pissed he couldn't just get up and walk away.

But I could.

I didn't say another word to my brother. Instead, I sent Cas in to watch him as I made my way my bedroom for a well deserved nap.

….

TBC

I apologize that this chapter wasn't very actiony. But don't worry, next chapter will be. I'm planning on doing a reverse crypt scene. But if it'll be Sam or Castiel, I'm not sure. Let me know who you would rather it be with. I'm leaning towards Sam but we'll see. Thanks for all the great feedback!