Disclaimer: If I owned the rights to Harry Potter, I could actually publish this story and make billions, as opposed to posting it nonprofitly on the internet.

In your wedding dress, to have and to hold.
Even at my best, I want to let go.

And I want to be somebody else now.
And I want to thicken my skin.
And I want to wish it all, just wish it all away again, again, again.

And I want to be somebody else.
And I want to be holding you in.
And I want to be missing you, love, missing you, love
With all that I have left to give, to give, to give.

Lily Black. Lily Evans Black. Lily Louise Black. Mrs. Black. Mrs. Sirius Black. James had repeated her new name a hundred times in every way imaginable, and still he could not make it sound right.

He was a fraud. Standing there in his dress robes, the false smile on his face, he was the biggest fraud to have ever walked the earth. Perhaps this is what Sirius had felt so many ages ago when he had secretly been seeing Lily. James had never given Sirius enough credit, not really. This was torture.

He had honestly thought he was over her. Of course, the feelings had never disappeared completely, but he had just chalked them up to some sort of residual effect born of habit. But then they had turned up engaged. They'd disappeared for a day and a half afters N.E.W.T.s and stumbled into the Marauders' carriage on the Hogwarts Express practically glowing. Seeing the smile grace her perfect mouth, the glint of the ring in her emerald eyes whenever she (frequently) looked at it, unconsciously he had thought, it should have been me.

So here he was, best man at his best friend's wedding and in love with the bride. That Comic Muse Sirius had always joked about had apparently set her sights on him now. He was disgusting.

She was beautiful. The white of the dress made her hair look redder, if that was possible. When she walked she was floating. Every fiber of his being begged him to go to her, to hold her, to plead with her to be with him. But he couldn't. It wasn't his wedding.

Then there was Sirius. Quite frankly, James couldn't blame Lily for choosing him; he was the better man. For her, at least. And he didn't hate him, either. Not at all. Tonight of all nights, when that bark of a laugh escaped his lips so easily and frequently and Lily was gazing up at him as though he were her guardian angel come to take her salvation, how could anyone hate that man? Envy him, certainly, but never hate. They were too perfect to hate.

When had they all grown up?

The wedding had been small and quickly thrown together. For crying out loud, they got married in the living room of the house Sirius had purchased in Godric's Hollow in front of barely ten people. Augusta Longbottom would have had an embolism. And now here they all were, mealing about, occasionally grabbing a piece of cake from the kitchen.

James took a masterful gulp of his firewhiskey. It was going to be a long night.

Dumbledore was admiring the crochet blanket Lily had draped across the sofa. Remus was resting his head against the wall; the full moon had been two nights before. The Tonkses and Alice had congregated in the kitchen, while Frank was busy trying to restrict the amount of alcohol Marlene was consuming. And Peter had taken to alternatingly hovering behind people while eating cake.

They stood apart from everyone, near the window. She was flushed with elation. His face was creaseless, ready at any moment to split into the widest of grins. Her hands were on his chest, his at her waist. They murmured lowly back and forth, seemingly oblivious to the gathering around them.

So that was what it was to be man and wife. It looked even better than they said. Like two people could mark out a little place in the universe just for them two. James drained his glass, only to have another instantly appear in his other hand, as if by magic. He looked down to see little Alice standing to his left.

"You should say something," she said quietly.

Perhaps it was the alcohol pounding through his veins, but for the life of him James didn't understand. "What?"

Alice looked at him pointedly. "You're the best man. You should say something, make a speech."

James stared down at her. Speech? Of course. How could he have forgotten? Why couldn't Moony have been the best man? He was nothing if not well-spoken.

Alice eyed him suspiciously, has though she had been hearing the thoughts he'd been having throughout the wedding and since. Dear Merlin, please don't let him have been that obvious. Lily didn't need to deal with this, especially not at her wedding. Alice nudged him in the ribs. "Well?"

The hand holding the glass twitched. "Now?'

She shrugged. "Why not? Nothing else is really happening."

"Um..."

Alice brought her fingers to her lips and gave a loud, shrill whistle. The rest of the party snapped their head around to look at her. Damn, marriage had turned her feisty. He'd have to mention that to Frank later.

Everyone was staring at them expectantly. Alice turned pointedly to look up at James. "Er..." Remus lifted his head from the wall to get a better look at him. "Right, so, Alice has just told me that I'm the best man." Sirius' head jerked self-righteously while Lily's mouth opened incredulously. Git. "I mean, she's just reminded me that I need to make a speech, so, er, here goes."

He cleared his throat as they all stood there, judging him. He'd never hear the end of this. "I used to think Sirius would die alone."

From the door to the kitchen, Ted choked on his Meade. His wife thumped him loudly on the back while glaring at James. Lily looked horrified. Git. Again. He wished now that he'd thought to get more firewhiskey.

"Well, no, I mean, not alone, alone. He'd always've had the Marauders. I mean, I just never thought he'd be doing this. And so soon. And first. And with Lily." He paused. Best not to tempt it. "I don't know why none of us ever saw how good they'd be together. I don't know why they didn't until about two years ago. I suppose I'm partially to blame for that.

"Look, what I'm trying to say is, we all know things with the Blacks have been kind of rough." Ted's snort morphed into a cough as Andromeda raised her hand again. "And I guess I never really thought he'd get over leaving his family. But he has, and Lily's responsible for that." He swallowed. "I'm proud of you, mate. You've made a family for yourself. You and Lily." He raised his glass. "Congratulations."

The rest of the guests mimicked him. Remus looked remarkably relieved. Dumbledore tapped his unearthly long fingers together in faint applause. James heaved a sigh and proceeded to gulp down whatever it was in his glass until he felt a slight pressure on his left foot. He turned to look down once again at Alice, whose round face was turned in a quiet smile. She tilted her glass up toward him. "Thanks for not screwing that up."

James felt his brow crinkle. "You're welcome. Never make me do that again."

"Don't let anymore of your friends get married."

"Touché."

He turned, and there they were. His gut shouted for him to turn and walk away, to get as far from them as possible. He couldn't bear it, having her so close. Not when he was feeling...

Sirius leaned forward to grip his shoulders and pull him into a brotherly hug. Knowing he had to keep his cool, James patted him on the back. Sirius pulled back.

"Thank you, James. That really meant a lot."

Lily stepped forward to press her delicate lips against James' cheek. He struggled to contain his shudder; it was as though ice trickled from her lips to his blood, freezing everything in its path as it coursed painfully through his body. His soul crumbled. She stepped back with a bright smile, her arm immediately encircling her husband. Husband.

James swallowed thickly, his throat parched. "You're welcome. Both of you. It wasn't anything."

Lily's emerald eyes sparkled at him. "Of course it was, James." His stomach dropped when she said his name

Frank popped up behind Sirius then, camera in hand. Lily twisted her torso to look around her husband (there was that word again), searching for Marlene, who was giggling on the sofa beside Dumbledore. The headmaster was watching her with passive bemusement. Single Marlene was a thing of wonder, indeed.

Frank shook the camera, reverting the bride's attention back to him. "I want to get a picture of you three before Marlene implodes and we have to take her home."

Lily smiled sympathetically. "Frank, you know she has trouble controlling herself at parties. It's just how she is."

Frank shrugged. "Yeah, well. Group up."

Lily detached herself from Sirius again as the groom tugged James forward to stand between them. He was painfully aware of his best friend's firm grasp on his shoulder. Lily's arm snaked casually around his waist as they posed. His heart fell to his shoes as heat spread through his body, infecting his flesh with the virus that was his feelings. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Frank looked up from behind the camera. "Jeez, James, you look like you're at their funeral."

Sirius gave another barking laugh as the camera flashed. As the colored spots danced before his eyes, James felt the Blacks extract themselves from him. When he could see again, they were wrapped around each other beside Frank and Alice, looking at each other with those eyes. They didn't have to say anything; they didn't even have to move. They were so in love they transcended all that.

God, why couldn't he just die?

So, yes. I posted again in less than two weeks. Shocking, isn't it? I'm sort of on a writing kick right now. For me, it's like being bipolar; I'll go through periods where I have this insatiable need to write, and then they'll be periods of time when I can't for the life of me make myself write anything down. Weird, huh? I hope my desperation to get this sucker down on paper didn't ruin it because, as you can now attest, this chapter was a doozy. The subplot with James will continue on for, I think, most of the story, but only one other chapter will not be Lily/Sirius oriented. And it may not be from James' perspective, either. I don't want to ruin it, because I don't think you'll see it coming.

The title of this chapter is Wedding Dress by Matt Nathanson. I hope ya'll's hearts jumped a little bit when you saw it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for all the reviews for the last chapter. They were lovely. Really, you've all been absolutely wonderful to me. I don't know what I've done to deserve it.

I've started the next chapter, and I'd like to have it up by the end of the month, but I make you no promises. Soon, though.

Til Next Time!