Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

Sonea's Confession

Sonea was sitting in one of the large chairs in Akkarin's study, a warm blanket tucked around her and a hot cup of tea on the table next to her. There was a little colour in her cheeks and as far as Lorlen was concerned, she looked a hundred times better than the last time he'd seen her.

Rothen was sitting on the edge of a seat next to her and Akkarin, as promised, had left them alone, so she could tell her side of the story. She had talked about her health and they'd discussed the battle, but what Lorlen and Rothen really wanted to know was her relationship with the High Lord.

Eventually Rothen asked gently "Is what Akkarin said to Lorlen true? Do you love him?"

A little colour came and went as she smiled, "Yes, it's all true, I love Akkarin and he loves me."

Rothen looked down at his hands for a moment, then asked, "When did this all happen? Was it before you graduated?"

"Perhaps it would be easier if I explained what happened from the beginning." Sonea's gaze was direct and open. She gave every impression to her audience of not attempting to conceal anything.

"When I first moved into the Residence, it felt very strange and I was afraid of what might happen. I decided to act in a certain way, and I did! I was absolutely horrible to Akkarin, I tried to annoy him as much as I dared, I was rude, I stayed away as much as possible and when I was here, I developed a very good set of cutting remarks which I used whenever I could. Through it all, he was very patient and never really lost his temper with me, although there were times when I think he'd have liked to!"

She smiled to herself at the memories she was reliving, "After a while, I began to find myself thinking about him at odd moments. I found myself watching him, waiting for particular expressions or gestures, then I began to remember bits of dreams where Akkarin had some sort of part." She laughed softly. "I thought I was going mad. Here was this evil magician who dabbled in forbidden arts and I was wondering what he looked like under all that black silk!"

Rothen leaned forward and patted her arm, "You poor girl," he said sympathetically, "I can't imagine how alone you must have felt."

"But it was kind of exciting too," she said. "He was always so distant, so calm and I began to wonder whether he was like that inside or whether there was a passionate interior all bottled up. If there was, I wanted to be the one to release it. I had no idea what he felt, he's very good at wearing a mask and he always wore one when he was with me."

"Then one night, he came back very badly injured from fighting one of the Ichani. By the time Taken got him into the room, Akkarin was unconscious, unable to heal himself or take strength. The only thing Takan could think of was to fetch me. I didn't want to go, but I went." She closed her eyes for a moment, "He was in a terrible state, covered in blood, with huge cuts…anyway….I healed him. I began to wonder about what he did, about what I had really seen that night, all those years ago. Eventually I learned the truth."

"How did you know it was the truth?" Lorlen asked. "Akkarin is very clever and….."

"I know it was the truth," she interrupted, "I won't say how, that's not my secret, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Akkarin was keeping the Guild safe by killing the Ichani sent to Imardin."

A stubborn expression had formed on her face and Lorlen could feel her tension rise.

Rothen decided to calm things down and busied himself by replenishing the tea and passing round the small cakes, before settling down again and motioning Sonea to continue.

"I knew the truth, but I didn't know what to do. I went to my special place in the forest to think about it, but Akkarin found me and told me all about his time in Sachaka and what he'd done there. Finally, I could understand it all and I knew Akkarin was not evil, instead he was courageous and brave, choosing to risk his life to defend what he believed in. But that's not all I discovered that day."

She fell silent again, this time for several minutes. Neither Lorlen nor Rothen wanted to disturb her train of thought. Eventually, she looked up and smiled at them both.

"I discovered, quite by accident, that Akkarin was attracted to me, indeed, he had very deep feelings for me. I couldn't believe it at first, but everything I felt for him, he felt for me. I was so happy, and told him about my own feelings, but he rejected me. He said all the things you would expect about being my Guardian, about needing to protect me, and that there could never be anything between us."

"He drove me away with strong words and I went. I was angry and felt betrayed. Most of all I felt a fool for having revealed my own feelings. I went back to being a difficult Novice, treating him badly, just like before. Then, later on, he was hurt again after another battle. Takan sent for me and when I came to him, seeing him there, all bloody and in pain, I decided I would do something. And I did. After I healed him, I seduced him."

Rothen looked shocked, "You did what?"

Sonea laughed, a genuine, hearty laugh, "I'm a dwell, remember. We don't pussy-foot around like you nobles, following all the rules about proper behaviour. As I saw it, he had feelings for me, I wanted desperately to make love to him, so what was the problem? If he wouldn't make a first move, then I would. It was easier than I thought, probably because his defences were low due to his struggle with the black magician, but I succeeded that night."

"But you swore a most solemn oath, Sonea," Lorlen was shocked that the oath should have been taken lightly, but Sonea laughed again.

"You keep forgetting I'm a dwell. We know how to make an oath which says much and says nothing. I swore that Akkarin had not seduced me when I was his Novice. That was absolutely true. I was the seducer. My oath was true."

Rothen and Lorlen looked at each other, then Rothen said, "Well, I suppose that explains the oaths you both made regarding the marriage."

Sonea giggled, "Yes he swore not to force himself upon me and I swore to tell you if he did. I can assure you both that force was the last thing either of us needed to use."

Rothen and Lorlen looked at each other again. There could be no doubt, the two of them did love each other and there were no more fears that the High Lord would harm Sonea in any way.

"I'm glad to know the truth at last, Sonea. You are very much like a daughter to me and once I even hoped that you an Dorrien would make a pair, but that's all in the past now. I've been very worried about you. I'm glad to know that Akkarin has been taking proper care of you."

"Thank you Rothen, I didn't like deceiving you, but I feared you wouldn't believe me if I'd told you earlier. Akkarin has taken the very best care of me and I don't regret a single minute of being here in the Residence with him. Would you call him for me?" A look of sadness crossed her features as she remembered her loss.

Akkarin came almost as soon as the message was sent. He crossed to Sonea and bent to kiss her. Her arms went round his neck and if there were any lingering doubts in the minds of Rothen or Lorlen, they were dispelled. The expressions on the faces of the lovers proved the truth of their declaration.

Akkarin stared at his visitors, "Well, gentlemen, what now?"

Rothen cleared his throat, "Perhaps we could help you in your search for information about balefire. I feel I might be quite useful, indeed, I must help you, because it was an Alchemist who first discovered the secrets of creating balefire. I think all Alchemists have felt secretly guilty ever since."

"Purple!" Akkarin suddenly said, "Of course! That's why you wear purple."

Rothen nodded, "How did you know that? It's supposed to be one of the secrets only known to Alchemists. Hundreds of years ago, when it became obvious what a terrible thing the Alchemists had created, they were all made to swear an oath never to do anything with alchemy, which would create something so dangerous ever again. To make sure we'd never forget that oath, all Alchemists have had to wear purple, the colour of balefire."

Akkarin had a pleased expression on his face, "It's all about colour."

The others looked at him curiously, but he made a dismissive gesture. "It's nothing. Now, Sonea must rest, and I must prepare for the meeting of the Inner Council."

Lorlen recognised dismissal when he heard it, and left, taking Rothen with him.

Sonea asked, "Did you hear any of that?"

"Yes, Lorlen wore the ring." He looked at her quizzically, a crooked smile playing on his lips, "I learnt one or two things myself. Tell me more about the dreams you had about me."

Sonea shook her head, laughing, "Certainly not! You'll be even more conceited! But I will say just one thing. When I finally discovered what was under all that black silk, I was not disappointed!"