Thank you to all of you who have reviewed and read. You are all very much appreciated … But I need some help finding some really good stories to read. I never have enough time to go through all the pages and search for any good stories. So if you guys know any good stories or authors that I Should read about please, please let me know in the review section… Thanks A lot
"Ziva are you okay?" Abby asked for the third time since Ziva stepped into Labby, she was slouched over the counter with her eyes closed waiting for Abby to finish a search on her computer.
"Abby I'm fine." Ziva mumbled annoyed into her arms not lifting her head up or opening her eyes.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Abby asked from behind her clip board.
"ABBY!" Ziva yelled throwing her head up and leaning against the counter for support.
"I'm sorry, I'm just saying you look horrible- well not horrible, horrible like bad, but horrible in a good way." Abby said trying to fix her words after Ziva gave her a death glare.
"Thanks Abby you really made me feel a lot better." Ziva said sarcastically.
"I am just trying to help" Abby explained checking her computer to see how the search was not going. The monitor had been going for well over an hour and Gibbs had sent Ziva down to check on the progress about 20 minutes ago. This case had been dragging on all week and if they could match this fingerprint then it would tie everything together.
"Well don't" Ziva snapped, not on purpose it was more of a natural reaction. Since she had been down in Labby, Abby has asked her more then once about her health. She woke up this morning feeling like crap, and she didn't need a constant reminder of it.
"You do know this is my lab right? And that I told you well over 10 minutes ago that you could go back upstairs and I'll let you know when I have something." Abby said mildly trying to contain her attitude. "If you feel as if I am bothering you then you are more then welcome to leave."
"Trust me I would rather be sleep at my desk, I just don't have the energy to move." Ziva moaned. Lifting her self completely off the counter the room looked like it was spinning. "Look I'm just tired. Didn't get much sleep last night and it's a little annoying with both you and Tony constantly asking if I am ok."
"Oh you had one of those nights?" Abby smiled at first but it soon faded away as she looked at Ziva again. "Okay don't bite my head off, but Ziva you really look terrible, are you sure you're okay?" Abby asked this time more concern then before. Walking over towards Ziva, Abby reached out and touched her.
Ziva's face was scrunched up as if she had just smelled something awful and her hands immediately flew to her mouth. "Oh Abby move please." Ziva blurted out almost knocking Abby to the ground as she ran to the nearest trash can.
Dropping her clipboard to the floor Abby rushed to Ziva's side. "Oh my gosh Ziva you are definitely not okay"
"Just…can you get me some water….water please." Ziva sat on the floor not even bothering to get up. The room was still spinning and she knew if she was to try to get up she would end right back on the floor anyways.
Abby came back soon with a glass of water and a paper towel, handing them both to Ziva. "I am going to go get Tony."
"No" Ziva yelled louder then she met. "Please don't tell Tony. He is already overly worried and would insist on me going home." Ziva reached out and grabbed Abby's arm stopping her before she could go any further.
"Because Ziva you need to go home. You're obviously sick."
"No I'm not sick I just threw up." Ziva defended herself. Gulping down the whole glass of water Ziva wiped her face and threw the paper towel in the trash can.
"There is only three reasons I can think of to why a women is throwing up. One she is SICK, two she has food poison, or three she is pregnant." So which one is it?" Abby stood back and placed her hands on her hips. Waiting for Ziva to answer.
"Can you help me up please Abby?" Ziva asked reaching her hands out in front of her.
Abby reluctantly reached out and helped her friend off the floor. "So….. Which one is it Ziva?" Abby asked still pressing for an answer.
"Abby you're over reacting. It was nothing. I'm fine" Ziva tried to laugh it off hoping Abby would let it ago, but she should have known better.
"Ziva you were just on the floor throwing up. Stanking up my Lab. If anything you're under reacting." Abby went to her cabinet and pulled out a bottle of air freshener and started spraying it all around.
"I'm not sick, I haven't even eaten today so no food poison, and I am definitely not pregnant."
"Are you sure?" Abby asked while tying up the bag of garbage.
"Am I sure about what?"
"That you're not pregnant since you're not sick and you haven't eaten today." Abby replied mocking her.
"Yes I am certain about that one."
Abby smiled a little and walked in closer to Ziva. "Well the last time I remember you being quite certain and 9months later came Noah." Abby reminded her
"Tony and I have been being careful…I think….." Ziva thought back trying to think of all the times her and Tony have had sex over the last few weeks.
"Careful Ziva? Really? What does careful mean? Please tell me you guys are using protection regularly." Abby said almost disappointed.
"Well yeah we use protection…" Ziva started to say but her words trailed off and she looked away. "Most of the time" She whispered.
"Most of the time? Ziva are you trying to get pregnant? What is wrong with you?" Abby yelled at her.
"You don't have to yell at me Abby, Things just…happen and by the time one of us realize, its to late."
"I bet you haven't seen your period in weeks. I mean come on Ziva using protection most of the time is pointless and dumb..
"Abby…." was all Ziva could say
"But you know this already, So I know the thought has crossed your mind before today." Abby said mildly and she could tell by Ziva's silence and the look on her face that she was right. "Tony might not be able to see through you yet, but I can. So which one is it Ziva?" Abby asked again.
Ziva remained quiet for a few seconds. Not knowing what to say. Abby was right on to everything. This was not the first time it has crossed her mind. Its actually been in the back of her mind for days but she always brushed it off. Not ready to face the truth.
"I don't…..I…" Ziva stumbled over her words and took a deep breathe. Her hands were beginning to shake and Abby could see in her eyes that she was scared. "I don't know if I am…pregnant…again." She finally said very low and more to the floor then to Abby.
Standing here in Labby talking about a possible pregnancy was bringing back so many terrifying memories.
"Okay will it be a bad thing if so?" Abby asked also remembering a similar conversation.
"It wont be a good thing." Ziva said and Abby could tell she was almost on the verge of tears. "I'm not ready to be a mother again, and I don't think Tony is ready to be a father yet either. I can't…..we're just now really establishing ourselves in our relationship and finding out who we are together. That is hard enough with Noah. We can not just throw another baby into the mix and expect things to work."
"Ziva you didn't think you were ready the first time and in my opinion you have been doing a kick ass job. It will take some time but Tony will get there too."
At this point Ziva could no longer hold back the tears forming in her eyes and slowly but surely they all came rolling down her face and Abby reached and grabbed a tissue for her.
"But what if he's not? What if he doesn't want a baby? Then what?" Ziva asked wiping her face with the tissue.
"Do you see the way Tony looks at Noah? That's not even his son and you wouldn't be able to tell. So just imagine how he'll be with his own kids. You doubt Tony way to much."
"I'm not doubting him. I'm just thinking logically, and looking at every possible outcome."
"You obviously wasn't thinking to logically or you wouldn't be in this situation… again"
"Abby I don't need you to constantly remind me of all the mistakes I made, it doesn't help." Ziva snapped
"I'm not trying to remind you, I'm trying to get you to learn from them. You cant keep doing the same thing over and over again and be confused with the same outcome. You can't be keep having unprotected sex and not expect to get pregnant…..But again…YOU know this already"
"Yes Abby I know." Ziva sighed placing her face in her hands. The thought of telling Tony terrified her more then the thought of finding out. "What am I going to do?"
"Ummm lets see. Talk to Tony. Talk to Tony and oh yeah TALK TO TONY."
Ziva and Abby stood there in silence for a while. Everything Abby said was working its way around in Ziva's head. She knew what she needed to do it was just a matter of how to do it. She needed to figure out how she would bring this up to Tony.
The silence on the other hand was killing Abby. She wanted to know what was going to happen next. "So what are we going to do?" Abby asked curious after giving Ziva another moment. "I can do a blood sample right here in the lab if you want" Abby offered at the same time the monitor started beeping and a suspects face and name popped up on the screen.
"Well" Ziva answered after taking a deep breath. "First I'm going to go back to my desk before Gibbs come looking for me and then I'm going to…..talk to Tony."
"So no blood?" Abby asked walking up to Ziva and placing her hand on her back
"No that is okay. Noah has his last game today so after the game I will talk to Tony and we'll go from there." Ziva said reassuringly. "But thank you Abby, thank you a lot." Abby really put some things in perspective for her and opened her eyes to a lot. She knew the up and coming road was going to be long and bumpy, and she wanted Tony by her side every step of the way.
"No problem Ziva. I cant think of a person who wants you and Tony to work more then me. So whatever you need I am here."
Ziva and Abby both smiled at the same time at each other before Ziva turned and walked out of Labby.
The walk back to her desk was slow and easy. She still felt a little light headed and but all around much better then earlier. Maybe all she needed to do was empty her stomach.
Gibbs was the only one sitting at his desk when she arrived. Tony and McGee were already sent off to go get the suspect.
Giving Ziva time sit and think about things. Maybe this time around things would be different. Tony would be there and she wouldn't have to feel so alone and lost.
She tried picturing herself pregnant again, with Tony by her side but all she saw was the lonely sad Ziva of almost six years ago. Her mind drifted back to when she first found out she was pregnant with Noah and shivers went down her back.
Ziva could still hear the party going on with no sign of ending outside of the bathroom door. She was all the way upstairs and the music and laughter of the new year coming in could be heard loud and clearly.
Her hands were sweaty and very much shaking as she sat crying on the bathroom floor terrified to look at the stick in her hand. There was an empty feeling inside of her and she honestly didn't know why she decided to wait until now at Joseph's New Years eve party to pee on the stick and see if it turns pink
She knew she was pregnant what else could explain why she was throwing up constantly and put on a little bit of weight. Her favorite foods no longer appeased her anymore, everything smelled to her leaving her with a queasy feeling.
Ziva was sitting on the bathroom floor hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
Abby had left before she decided to find out. She had invited everyone from work to Joseph's home for his big New Years Eve bash but Abby was the only one who showed. She didn't stay for long. Just long enough to show her face, say hello and slip Ziva a pregnancy test in her purse.
Ziva had told Abby she was going to find out after she got home, and that she would call her later with the news. But as the night went on the test started to burn a hole in Ziva's purse, and she had to find out. By that time Abby had already left.
She had excused herself to the bathroom well over 20 minutes ago and knew Joseph was going to come look for her soon, so she had to hurry up. But she just could not bring her self to look down at the stick and face the truth.
Its not like she had anyone to blame but herself for being in this situation. Her and Joseph haven't exactly taken all precautions. But for some reason pregnancy never crossed Ziva's mind.
The stick was tilted in her hand so that when she looked down she couldn't exactly see the results. She was holding it so tight she knew once she let it go there would be an imprint in her hand.
A slight knock at the door and her name called softly took Ziva out of her day dream, and she dropped the stick on the floor and jumped up.
"Ziva" Joseph said again this time slightly annoyed.
"I'm coming I'm just freshening my self up." Ziva said and looked down to straighten out her dress. Her breathe hitched as her eyes caught sight of the pink dot on the stick. Indicating that she was in fact pregnant.
"Well hurry up. You have been gone for almost 30 minutes. Its almost midnight." Ziva heard through the door as she leaned down and picked up the stick. Pulling it to her face to examine it closer. Tears begin to fill her eyes again and she didn't know if she was more excited or scared.
"ZIVA" Joseph yelled again this time banging on the door
"I said I was coming." Ziva snapped looking up to see herself in the mirror. She was glad that she used water proof mascara as she took in her face. Her eyes were puffy and red. Her hair was no longer bone straight, her edges were beginning to curl from her sweating.
Fixing her self up in the mirror Ziva took one more glance at the stick before placing it in her purse and opening the door.
"Are you trying to ruin this night for me?" Were the first words she was met with, as Joseph looked at her angrily.
"Oh shut up. I wasn't gone for that long." Ziva snapped back with just as animosity in her voice as his.
Joseph reached over and grabbed Ziva by the arm as she tried to walk pass him and yanked her into his chest. "Why do you insist on always being so difficult?" He asked her. His tone low and harsh as his eyes burned into hers.
"Get off of me." Ziva snapped pulling herself away from him. She hated when he got like this.
"What were you doing in there for so long? Don't tell me you're drunk already." He snarled at her
"Joseph do I look drunk to you?" Ziva asked sarcastically. "I was using the bathroom."
The two of them stared at each other waiting for the other to look away first. After a minute Joseph smiled and fixed the jacket to his suit waking towards Ziva. "Lets go sweetie, before the party finishes with out us." Placing his hand out for Ziva to place hers into he waited for her reply.
She knew from his smile that this conversation wasn't over, and that it would be brought up later. The fact that she was pregnant had totally slipped her mind and the only thing that was on her mind was making it through this night with Joseph.
Placing her hand in his she didn't smile she just looked the other way as they walked out the room to the stairs and re-entered the party.
Ziva opened her eyes to see the bullpen was full again. Everyone was seated at their respective desk busying them selves with whatever was near.
""Did Abby email up the results to the finger print search?" Ziva asked
Everyone's head popped up and looked at her strangely. Tony was the first one to speak. "Ziva we already closed the case, and handed it over to the FBI." Tony said looking from her to Gibbs.
"Yeah Ziva while you were over there day dream we were actually doing work." Gibbs told her.
"I was not day dreaming I was thinking." Ziva defended her self.
"Well you were thinking mighty hard because I don't know how you missed the FBI showing up and taking our case." McGee added
"And we are fine with that?" Ziva asked looking around.
"It's their jurisdiction, their case. Nothing left for us to do Ziver." Gibbs commented. His glasses were on and he had a newspaper in his hand.
Ziva sat back in her chair amazed. "OH" was all she said looking at the clock. It was 3:13. In about an hour she would have to go get Noah and get him ready for his last game.
"How are you feeling?" Tony asked her. He had been staring at her for awhile now and could tell her mind was else where.
Ziva shook off the nervous feeling and looked up at Tony before answering him in a low tone "I'm feeling fine why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know it just seems like there is something on your mind."
"Nothing important" Ziva said looking to Gibbs first to see if he was paying attention and then back to Tony. Her eyes met him and like always enough was said.
Tony looked down at his computer screen before he spoke again. Ziva didn't exactly tell him what was wrong but he knew they would talk about it later "Well then what time is Noah game again?"
"Its at 5:30, but he has to be at the field by 4:30." Ziva responded not looking away from him. She wanted to talk to Tony now, but knew it wasn't the place or time
"You're picking him up right?" Tony asked
Ziva just stared at him and wished he would look up. "Tony you know that I am picking him up."
"I was just making sure." Tony said as he began searching for something on his desk.
"Tony what is the matter with you?" Ziva asked a confused as to why he was acting so weird. If anything that should be her.
"Nothing." Tony finally looked up but only momentarily. "I was only trying to start a conversation. So we wouldn't just be sitting here.
Ziva and Tony looked up at each other at the same time, and Ziva smiled
"I love you." Tony mouth and Ziva's smile grew even wider. Out of the corner of her eye Ziva could see both Gibbs and McGee staring at her and Tony.
Clearing her throat loud enough for Tony to hear, Ziva looked down at her desk and she heard everyone around her chuckle.
Peeking up one more time Ziva saw Tony was still smiling at her. Butterflies filled her stomach and she officially couldn't wait to talk to Tony.