Chapter 21 "Linger"

"Do you have to, do you have to let it linger?" -- The Cranberries

Severus didn't move. He was waiting for her reaction. Once she started screaming he would know what to do, how to act, but Hermione just continued to stare at him, as if they hadn't spoken. He heard the clock ticking the seconds away. She had tasted sweet, and his treacherous body only wanted more. That would never do. It had been bad enough when he'd discovered she had saved his life, and that Lily had inhabited her body. To learn that Hermione Granger, all by herself, was quite delightful to kiss was too much for his psyche. More seconds ticked by. Clearly, Hermione wasn't going to address the situation.

"Hermione, I—" Severus was cut off when she kissed him again.

She was a bit more aggressive this time. Soon, Severus lost all thought as he pushed her against the sofa. Their kisses kept intensifying. He couldn't remember anything tasting this good, feeling this good. His fingers were tangled in her hair. He couldn't get them out. He wanted to explore her body as her hands were exploring his. Severus growled in frustration. Hermione heard him and moaned, igniting his lust all over again.

Later—Snape had no idea how much later, he just knew it was too soon—he pulled away. He wanted to yank all her clothes off and run his fingers over her bare skin. He wanted to carry her into her bed and drive her as crazy as he was now. He needed release and soon. He caught himself as he fingered the top button of her blouse. He must get his control back.

"Hermione." His voice was hoarse from kissing her. "We have to stop."

She sighed in protest. Then, shaking her head clear, she nodded. "I… I'm sorry, Severus. This is my fault. I shouldn't have… I… you're right. I guess I'm too lonely."

The words cut at Snape's heart. She had only kissed him because she didn't have Weasley. He was just a substitute of course. What had he been thinking? "I see. Well, Miss Granger, I did warn you. I'll meet you in Hogsmeade tomorrow at noon. It wouldn't do to be seen leaving Hogwarts together. Wouldn't want tongues wagging. Goodnight." Snape looked at her coolly as he untangled himself from her. He stood, turned, and headed for the door.

He heard shuffling behind him. "Severus, wait!" Hermione was tugging her shirt back into place. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was a mess. Beautiful. Snape raised his eyebrow in question.

"That wasn't what I meant!" she said breathlessly. "I didn't mean I didn't want to kiss you. Obviously I did. I just meant… oh, bugger!"

"Language, Miss Granger." Severus tutted mockingly.

Her frustration burst forth as she ran over to him and grabbed his arm. "Don't patronize me! I don't understand! You kissed me back! Don't you even like me? I thought…" She stepped away. "I'm so confused. How… how can I like you both?" she whispered.

Finally grasping the situation, Severus pulled her into an embrace. Running his hands comfortingly down her back, he whispered, "It's alright. Shh."

Severus seemed to spend a good bit of his time comforting Hermione these days. He didn't mind at all. She was a lovely armful, she was an excellent kisser, she was marvelous. "Marvelous." The word was out of his lips before he could stop it.

"What's marvelous?" Hermione met his eyes as if expecting them to mock her again.

"You." He shrugged. Might as well say the truth. "I think you're marvelous."

"I do, too." She hugged him tightly. "Think you're marvelous that is."

He led her back to the sofa and pulled her down next to him. Brushing her hair out of her face, he began to explain. "I… I'm surprised. I didn't plan… I never guessed that you…"

"Me neither. I'd been trying to convince myself that if I enjoyed the kiss it was because Lily had. I was shocked about the bathrobe… but I can't seem to forget how it made me… even the other night, I didn't wear it and I felt like I was being held." Snape quickly looked away. "You didn't… did you?" Hermione pushed his hair out of his eyes that had fallen forward as he had looked down to her face.

He nodded. "I hadn't meant to stay, but you'd seemed so… I only meant to be there a few minutes. Luckily, Minerva thought we'd stayed up all night researching. Thought my staying in your room at night was brilliant." He laughed as he closed his eyes remembering.

"So do I." Surprised, he jerked his eyes open. "Please stay with me tonight."

He clasped her hand in his. "Hermione, it's too soon to… that is… it wouldn't be right to … you're…"

She smiled. "No, Severus. Just snuggling. Nothing else… well, maybe more kisses. I do love kissing, and you're quite nice at it. But, you should know… I mean you'd find out if…" She looked away from him and whispered, "I've never… that is, I'm a…"

"Ah," Severus said, and his heart melted. For the first time in his life, he felt like being a gallant knight. "You're safe with me."

She looked back up at him and murmured softly. "I thought so."

He stood. "I'll be gone when you wake. Minerva is usually the only one awake before nine on Saturday, but all I need is Sybil to see me emerging from your chamber, and I'll never hear the end of it." He winked when Hermione wrinkled her nose.

"Supper was rather awful." She stood as well. "Do you want the shower first?"

"I'm a morning person. Or rather, I shower in the mornings precisely because I'm not a morning person."

"See you in a minute," she said nervously as she headed to the loo.

"Yes, you will," he assured her retreating form.

Hermione, sporting a cinnamon coat and jeans, seemed very anxious when Snape met her outside the Hog's Head the next day. He wasn't sure if it was because of their night together or because they would be seeing her parents after their night together or because of the fear she'd felt during her library nightmare. He surreptitiously squeezed her hand. "Library, first?"

She nodded, gave him the address, and appeared startled when he put his arm about her waist. "Side-Along Apparition, Miss Granger. You seem a bit unsettled. Wouldn't want to have you splinched," he murmured in her ear as he squeezed her tighter. She nodded again. Seconds later, they were facing the Muggle library from an alleyway.

"Are you coming too?" She glanced up at him as she nervously twisted her fingers together.

He smirked. "Would I be decked out as a Muggle otherwise?" He saw her eyes widen as she took in his appearance for the first time. He was wearing a black cashmere turtleneck jumper and a pair of dark blue jeans.

She smiled shyly. "You look quite nice as a Muggle."

"I might say the same for you. I like your hair a bit wild, sometimes." He emphasized the word leaving her no doubt as to what he meant. "But it looks quite nice pulled back as well."

"Thank you." She was now shuffling back and forth on her toes.

He tilted her chin so that she was actually looking at him. "You have no reason to be frightened. I'll be nearby. Shout if you need me, and remember, the Death Eater trials are over. They're all in Azkaban now."

Squaring her shoulders, she nodded and crossed the street. Snape followed her, dodging an oncoming Beetle. Once inside, he saw her head towards the second floor. About ten paces behind her, he wandered up the stairs as well, looking for all the world as though nothing was occupying his thoughts. An Asian Death Eater? What had she been thinking of? The description fit no one in Voldemort's ranks. Still, if they were going to put stock in the dream, it made sense to assume that there would be some obstacle to retrieve the volume.

Therefore, Snape was quite surprised when Hermione returned to the stairs, book in hand, before he'd even finished climbing them. Minutes later they were back outside in the brisk winter sunlight. "To your parents' then?" he asked.

"Yes." Hermione seemed much calmer. She was completely at ease now; it was Snape's turn to feel butterflies in his stomach. He was going to meet her parents. Thank goodness it wasn't Voldemort. At least the Grangers wouldn't be able to delve into his mind and see the images of what he'd done with their daughter last night. While they hadn't passed Hermione's boundaries, her parents would hardly have been pleased to learn their daughter was interested in a grouchy old professor. Still, images of the night before flashed across Severus's mind; it had been quite a wonderful experience. He felt a little better. In fact, had the man at Hermione's side been anyone other than Severus Snape, an onlooker would have said he was glowing.

As Hermione's house was only a few streets from the library, they had decided to walk instead of Apparate. Snape hoped to have walked out his jitters by the time they reached the front door, which in his opinion came all too quickly. He'd faced Dumbledore and Voldemort dozens of times, but he'd never met a student's parents after sleeping with said student, because he'd never slept with a student. He still hadn't—technically, but it felt far too close for Snape's peace of mind.

"Hullo, Mum!" Hermione ran into her mother's outstretched arms.

"Hullo, darling." She looked up to see Snape. "Oh, hullo. Professor Snape isn't it?"

"Yes." Snape stiffly extended his hand. He was grateful to notice that Mrs. Granger appeared a few years older than himself—five, seven?

"Come in, come in. It's quite chilly today." She gracefully ushered them inside. Snape immediately noticed the cozy surroundings of a true home. Spinner's End had always lacked such a cheerful, peaceful atmosphere. Hermione's mother gestured for him to sit in an armchair near the blazing fire.

"So what brings you here, Professor Snape?" Mrs. Granger began.

"Your daughter had a desire to see you and your husband." Snape accepted a cup of tea and a walnut biscuit. "After the accident this summer, I felt it would be prudent to accompany Hermione." Snape cringed internally. Miss Granger. Miss Granger. Not Hermione, you idiot.

"Is that really necessary?" Mrs. Granger looked alarmed.

"Constant vigilance, as Moody would say," Hermione replied with a tight smile.

"I see. Of course, we're delighted to see you, dear. Your father's at the office. Mr. Fawcett needed an emergency root canal. He should be home shortly though."

"I understand you are also a dentist, Mrs. Granger?" Snape felt the need to say something, and he thought he recalled something of the sort.

"Yes, we have an office together."

"That's quite impressive. I don't know of many couples who can work together all day and still be civil when they get home," he said, trying to make it sound more like a compliment instead of a sneer. He really couldn't imagine spending that much time with anyone, unless it was… no, he wasn't thinking about that.

"We manage quite well. We each have our own office and our own patients. There's not too much overlap. We aren't normally opened on Saturdays, but these things do happen." Mrs. Granger put a loving arm around her daughter. "So what have you been up to, dear?"

Hermione just smiled. "Severus has been helping me with my research for my book." Snape noticed her mother's reaction to her use of his first name. "He's found some excellent resources for me to use. Hogwarts library is so much more extensive!"

"Less political might be closer to the truth," Snape argued. "The Ministry has most of their more… unsavory documents under limited access. However, I think you could probably convince Kingsley to allow you entry into the files for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. In fact, if you're not careful, he might offer you a job in that department."

"Oh! That's an excellent idea!" Hermione said enthusiastically. "It might be just the thing to do after I finish the book."

"When are you coming home for the holidays, Hermione?"

"Oh, I'm not sure." Hermione glanced at Severus, trying to get him to silently communicate an answer to her. Snape felt two pairs of eyes on him, so he kept his features schooled.

"The term ends on the 18th, but there is no need to let that schedule confine you. The Headmistress is likely to allow you to stay as long as you wish. But then, Madam Pince is unlikely to let you in the library without her. She usually spends the holiday visiting her family in Wales. However, as you're no longer a student, I'm sure you could take whatever texts you wish with you." Suddenly the thought of Hogwarts without Hermione seemed quite dull.

"Would you like to go skiing then?" Mrs. Granger turned to her daughter. "We never did get to go that year, and now you won't have to study instead of enjoying the slopes. We could close the office for a few weeks and really have a holiday!"

Snape watched Hermione's face contort into several different expressions all at once. "Mum, that sounds lovely, but… I'd still want to work on my research…" Hermione looked pleadingly at Snape.

Snape wondered why the hell she was looking at him as if he could solve her dilemma. He wanted to roll his eyes, but refrained. She had no idea how much she was hurting her own case. Nineteen years of spying made him willing to bet that Mrs. Granger had picked up on their attraction. She had been watching his reactions like a hawk, and he very much doubted her vigilance had to do with his past crimes. He debated telling the truth—it would be a novel approach if nothing else. But that route had rarely been as fruitful as he would have liked.

"I'm sure that Mr. Weasley will still be here when you return, Hermione."

Mrs. Granger's face lit up as though she'd solved a puzzle. "Oh, how silly of me, dear. Of course, you'll want to be near Ginny and the Weasleys." She stroked Hermione's hand. "I do wish they'd give you visitation rights. What's wrong with St Mungo's?" Hermione only shrugged and gave every sign of being unwilling to talk about it. A little too brightly, Mrs. Granger turned to Snape. "And how does it feel to be able to hang up your hat as a spy, Professor?"

"More exhausting than I anticipated," he said smoothly.

"Yes, I imagine you had to go to as many balls and such as Hermione did." Mrs. Granger refilled his teacup.

"Once I recovered, yes. Luckily, I was able to escape to Eastern Europe for a few weeks. All that red carpet nonsense was too much!" Severus curled his lip in disgust.

"Hermione didn't think much of it either, but we kept telling her you only live once, and how often does a young girl get to go to so many dances with her boyfriend? Ron is such a sweet young man." The awkward pause following this statement was blissfully ended by a tall man opening the front door.

"Hermione! Good to see you, darling!" He swooped her up into a hug. They immediately started catching up all over again, leaving Snape with an observant mother on his hands.

She got off the sofa and moved to the vacant chair next to him. "I saw you at some of the parties this summer. We were there when the Minister announced your return."

"Hmm." Snape didn't want to play any of his cards just yet.

"I suppose that your cruelty to our daughter during her years as your student were only part of your cover?" Mrs. Granger's tone clearly indicated disbelief in her statement.

"It sounds as if you've spent quite a bit of time in the Wizarding World lately," Snape began. "I wasn't any crueler to your daughter than to any of my other students I can assure you." Perhaps a small white lie. None of his other students had been such annoying know-it-all's.

"Yes, accounts from all around haven't showered you with praise."

"That would hardly have helped me at the time." Snape sneered.

"And now?" Mrs. Granger raised an eyebrow in question.

"I don't think Hermione seems permanently scarred. Were you thinking of suing me for bad teaching methods?"

"I didn't know that wizards and witches did that," Mrs. Granger commented.

"They don't. My father was a Muggle." Snape's face stiffened at the memory.

Mrs. Granger looked again at her daughter. "That's not the kind of scar I'm worried about right now. Professor Snape, I don't know exactly what your relationship with my daughter is, but I can see she's not at all afraid of you. I can also see that she feels the need to check her responses to my questions with you.

"She may not know it, but she's developed some sort of crush on you. I noticed it this summer. I had hoped that it would subside, but I suppose that with the accident…"

She leaned towards him and spoke briskly. "Now, I'm hoping that you're the sort of decent chap that Harry and everyone else says you are. I hope you know that the age difference and your background… Hermione has spent years looking up to you. You're a mentor to her. She's so young. What I'm trying to say is…" Mrs. Granger's tone brooked no opposition. "If I find out that you have hurt her in any way, if you so much as make her cry… I don't care how powerful a wizard you are. I don't care if you're the best Legitimats or whatever it is, I will find you. I will hunt you down, and when I'm done, you'll be wishing you'd dealt with Voldemort instead."

The speech was so heartfelt, so powerful that Snape knew he should be scared. Any sane man would be. She clearly meant everything she'd said, and he had no doubt she'd deliver, but instead, all he felt was yearning. Had his mother ever cared about him that much? When she'd been just as likely to hit him as his father? Had she ever that much strength of character, had his father just beaten it out of her before he came along? With such weaklings as parents, was it any wonder that he'd turned out as he had?

Snape sat silent for a moment, just looking at Mrs. Granger before he spoke. "Hermione is very lucky to have you." It was all he could think of to say without spilling out his life story, and Severus was still a private man, but it seemed to be enough. Mrs. Granger patted his hand.

They were invited to stay for dinner, which went very well. Mr. Granger took an immediate shine to Severus, which in the professor's mind was unexplainable. It was close to eleven when they finally began the journey up the hill from Hogsmeade.

"Mum gave you the lecture didn't she?" Hermione asked without preamble.

"What lecture?" Snape feigned innocence.

"The 'I Don't Care if You're a Wizard, That's My Daughter' speech. Or did you get two?" Hermione laughed at his surprised face. "She has such an excellent sixth sense about things; I sometimes think she's a witch too."

"Quite uncanny," Severus agreed.

"Are you sufficiently scared off?" Hermione tentatively locked her fingers in his.

"We'll see" was his only reply.

Author's Notes: Merci beaucoup to Shuldham and LC! They rock my world!