Chapter 21:Pain

Thanks Amy.Lee.Rox and Tibys for your reviews Also thanks to a new reviewer, Edelin, its probably best that Celia can't kill herself, she still has many things to accomplish in her extended lifetime though her inability to escape is very sad, and this story has much more to go before I am finished with it, though without internet access I can't be sure the next time I can post, but there is always college library right? Lol.. I do not own Harry Potter characters, but I do own some of the characters of this fanfic in some way shape or form and I do own part of this computer. Keep reading and reviewing!

James Potter, age 11, opened his own letter to Hogwarts. Claire and Mark smiled in pride. Years had passed so quickly and with it passed Edward and Elizabeth. The guilt Mark felt for their deaths was immense. It was just shortly after Elizabeth's death that he had learned just how much she had done to dig up information about his biological family because she had been adopted as well. This realization had happened years before this moment, so why was it sticking in his mind on this day out of all days? This was to be a momentous day and he should be focusing on James. Claire gave him a smile and he reluctantly smiled back. What was wrong with him? He felt a chill cover his skin. Why today?

Voldemort paced. He had lost most of his human features after a murder a few years ago. His face had contorted and stayed that way. His eyes were blood red; his nose was like a snake. He had killed several children in his last murder the murder that had caused him to lose his humanity. He was hunting for someone else at the moment. His loins ached. He needed to find Celia. He hadn't been around for weeks. Hadn't slept in his bed, hadn't really taken meals, which meant he hadn't really seen Celia in a couple months at this point, which also means he hadn't had time for sexual activities either. Sure he could rape the women before he killed them, but that was no fun. They didn't have the fire he craved, nor were they part of a grander scheme. After all these years that prophecy had still instilled itself in his mind.

Celia tried to find something to do around the castle in Albania. She had taken up gardening and every hobby she could think of in the castle. Composing music was her newest thing to do with her violin that she had just started playing again a couple of years before.

Voldemort followed the sound of the violin. He found Celia in one of the empty rooms of the castle. Celia had turned it into somewhat of a music room. Really music was the only thing she could continue to do to make her feel alive. Lately the numbness had taken over, but she continued to make music and try to make herself feel alive. Celia saw Voldemort walk in and covered her mouth in terror.

"Your face," Celia said afraid to reach out for it.

Voldemort grabbed Celia. She screamed scratching him to try to fight him off.

"HOLD STILL!" he shouted at her.

Celia cried out as she felt her body tense up completely. "BE QUIET!" he shouted at her. Celia's voice was cut off. Tears streamed down her face as she was stripped naked. Voldemort then did something he had never done before. He held out his wand at Celia. Celia didn't even have the voice to gasp.

"DIFFINDO!" Voldemort shouted.

A large cut formed on Celia's thigh. . Voldemort watched the blood pour out of her wound. He stood there for a moment as the tears continued to flow down her face.

"SPEAK WOMAN," he yelled in her face.

"You, sick bastard," Celia managed to choke out. Still really unable to move she was picked up by Voldemort and positioned more acceptably on the bed. He touched the bleeding wound and she said, "Stop touching it, something as disgusting as you might infect it," she said wanting to spit in his face. It had taken a lot of work, but she had finally gathered up her courage over the years. She didn't care if she died now; she hoped he would kill her just out of anger. She really served no purpose anymore other than for the reasons of that damn prophecy.

Voldemort stared at her. He couldn't believe she still had the ability to defy him. He slapped her in the face trying to show his superiority. Celia did nothing, not even flinch. Voldemort let out a scream of rage. He continued to use the spell to cut her body in many places. Soon she was bleeding profusely with no sign of help. Could she bleed to death? She felt her cuts soon healing and she realized unless he possibly used the killing curse there was no way she could do anything but suffer at this rate.

"It's so easy to give in," Voldemort said. "Enjoy darkness, let it fill you," he said pushing himself into her body.

James felt an eerie feeling creep over him, but chose to ignore it. He worked on his potions scrolls. Sirius snuck up behind him.

"Working on scrolls, that doesn't sound like James Potter to me," Sirius said laughing.

"Well I'm not doing so well and I would like to stay in Hogwarts if you know what I mean. Hard to live up to my parent's expectations." He said finishing his last bit of the scroll and then putting it away.

"Yeah, I know what you're saying, but tonight we have more important things than scrolls." Sirius said lowering his voice and pointing out the window.

It was a little bit after Christmas break and the snow was blowing hard, but when the window stopped howling you could see that something else certainly would be, someone else. There was a full moon that night and both knew what that meant. They had been lucky to be able to help him out before they knew the secret passageways of the school, but now it was more important than ever to keep his identity concealed. Both boys rushed out of the room grabbing Peter Pettigrew on the way. Sirius had never liked Peter that much, but James insisted since Peter had told them about one of the secret passageways he had accidentally happened upon in the school. It just so happens that it happened to be the perfect passageway in this situation especially.

They ran down the hall just to run into greasy Severus Snape. He sneered at them and James took that moment to trip him as he tried to walk away. Then the group of boys continued to run down the hall leaving Severus there by himself.

The boys reached the secret passageway and helped Remus through a particularly bad night.

Celia took severe beatings night after night until eventually they stopped. She was sure whether to be worried or grateful. She looked in the mirror, still the same, as it was everyday. She looked up at the full moon and felt a warm spring breeze blow in through the window. She had looked at full moons for months it was really her only way to track time anymore. She watched the clouds glide over it and then the bright circular orb come into view once again. She picked up her violin and began composing again. She wished he would die, the wretched creature. He wasn't even human, and the more she thought about the more she began to realize that she herself wasn't human anymore either. She was ruled by one who had once been human and now she could never age, never chose her own destiny; she couldn't even die without his consent. She was a slave if nothing else, but she no longer felt human. She no longer felt the connections and bonds to her humanity. He had killed that part of her slowly and she felt a chill in her bones. How could she ever regain that? Was she too lost to be saved? She was letting that prophecy come true. She was allowing herself to be taken over and broken. Her heart was no longer pure she was bitter and alone. She felt no remorse for wishing Tom or anyone else dead. She looked in the mirror again watching the moonlight from the window pour in around her image making her green eyes glisten. She was hungry very hungry, but not for a substance such as food but for an idea. She was hungrier than ever for her freedom, yet every attempt she seemed to make led her farther away from her goal. She was getting frustrated and like a caged animal she paced almost every day in circles.

Voldemort watched his ageless companion, if you could call her that, pace around the room. She picked up her violin played a bit and then in frustration slammed down her sheets of parchment that she had been using to compose her music. She had become the animal he had hoped she would be yet he still felt her emptiness resonate through him. It felt strange because he had felt nothing for months. He had only been bloodthirsty, that was the only emotion. Of course, there was also his want for power, but that had never faded since his childhood unlike some of the other emotions he had once had. He walked past the room shaking off that brief emotion that he had had. He smiled wickedly thinking about all the horrible things he could do to her later and continued down the hall the wheels turning in his head.

Celia looked up. She thought she had heard something. She saw nothing so she put her head back down on the wooden desk letting its cool wooden texture seep into her face. She breathed out leaving a watery condensation on the wood. She traced her finger in the condensation tracing out what looked to be an infant. She was in a trance. As she felt herself coming out of the strange trance she looked down to see the horrifying picture she had drawn in the condensation. It wasn't very intricate, but she could make out a woman holding a newborn infant. The infant was limp and dead and a cloaked man was in the background face contorted in laughter, a very evil laughter that she could almost hear ringing in her ears. Why had she wanted to draw something like this? Then it hit her like a ton of a bricks. This was her memory. She was beginning to lose track of time so much that she couldn't remember some of the most important things in her life. She was worried about herself. Had she really lost herself that much? She wasn't sure how much inner strength she had left, but after that she was willing to try anything to keep herself from losing everything, the loss of her humanity meant the loss of everything her memories, whatever bit of hope she had left of escape, and of course with the loss of her humanity came the gain of something so wretched it made almost lose the small contents of her stomach. Losing her humanity was a gain for evil, a gain that she could not allow to occur. The loss of her children had been enough to rip her in half, but the thought of that happening to many woman, even oh heaven forbid, what if he had gone after someone she knew, like Hagrid or Minerva? True they probably didn't think much about her, and true she didn't usually think about them either, but the fact was they were both still alive presumably, and living their lives, starting families possibly, having careers, being in love, having the warm sunny days, the air she had longed for so many years now. She couldn't give up now, not after coming this far, but she could feel the darkness settling upon her. She knew that times were going to get harder, much harder. Still she picked up the violin and closed her eyes. She may lose all of her sanity, but she would never let him strip her of her humanity.

James came home for the summer, ready to go back. True, he hated the schoolwork and a few of the professors, but he had found a girl he was starting to like. Lily Evans paid him no attention no matter how hard he tried, still he knew one day maybe she would give him a chance. For now his main focus was being with friends. He hoped Remus would be ok this summer and Sirius too; he had been having a lot of problems with his family. James's parents had known Sirius's family a little; their dad's had been acquaintances. Unfortunately, he was shocked to hear that the Black family was dark and well lost in black magic. They were very skilled in the dark arts and very close to another family he despised the Malfoy's. James's father had also gone to school with the Abraxas Malfoy. His son, Lucius, had a thing for Sirius's older sister Narcissa who was in Lucius's year. It disturbed James and Sirius because the Malfoy family was also very dark. Still nothing could be done about it, so James kept his nose out of it, though that was certainly not in his nature. His parents had a feast waiting for him at home when he arrived and he decided to enjoy the warm house that he could come home to wishing that Sirius could have the same to look forward too.