I do not own The Hunger Games.
Chapter 21: PlansMarus Aurelius's POV
Waking up with Brinna is the best part of the day. I knew this, of course, before I joined her in the mansion. Living with her, cements it in a way I had not anticipated. She is my partner in every sense of the word now: we eat breakfast together, eat dinner together, sleep and rise together. Every day I steep myself in my commitment to her and rise strengthened by it. I have followed through on my promise to protect Brinna by keeping my ears and eyes open. It turns out that politics is a lot like science – being smart actually just means being quiet and observant – and I am comfortable performing those duties if it keeps her safe. As Brinna becomes busier, I train alone and keep my physical resources sharp.
Brinna invites me to Capitol dinners and receptions. We become a staple at Plutarch's broadcast openings where he refers to me as the presidential consort. The title makes us both laugh once we are in private. Her attentiveness remains constant, her passion contagious. And yet, I feel her holding something back from me, becoming more distant in some regard I cannot name. Perhaps it is the feeling of expectation I sense whenever we are in public together: conversations hushed too soon, askance glances sent our way. I can feel trouble brewing on the horizon.
As for Peeta – it has been a month since he left the Capitol. Our calls have moved to three times a week, and he seems to have stabilized somewhat in terms of his attacks. The grief he feels at the loss of his family, his district, and his memories is still pervasive. Before Peeta left the Capitol, we had decided that his best strategy was to make Katniss believe he was at odds with her. He is still following through on that strategy and it appears to be working. He seems to be pushing her to do new things and break out of her crippling malaise.
Katniss called me for the first time of her own accord. I consider this a victory.
Peeta described her on a phone call as a ghost as opposed to a mutt who was ready to kill him. I am not sure what he meant by that description, but her voice certainly seems ghostlike. The first conversation with her was so full of grief that it almost seemed she was in an impenetrable bubble. I told her to try to find a new pattern in her life, to go through the motions and eventually she would find meaning again. She talked about the primroses that Peeta planted like they made her recall that her loss was not hers alone.
The most interesting thing about Katniss is how much she asks about Peeta's condition.
I finish making notes in Katniss's patient file as I wait for Brinna to finish dressing for dinner. She is running behind schedule - we are dining with Plutarch and few other supporters in a bid to raise money to extend the rail system out to District 13. I am nervous, as tonight I plan on giving her the pendant that Tigris had commissioned for me. I pace the width of our bedroom, the box heavy in my pocket.
My first thought when Brinna walks into the room is that Tigris has done it again: Brinna is in a black dress that comes just to her knees and wraps around her body, clasped with a diamond clasp at the waist. Her hair is up with long tendrils that make me want to nuzzle the back of her neck, her earrings are diamond drops. Her team has once again erased the circles under her eyes and she glows with vitality. She looks regal. She looks like moonlight and starlight.
"You look beautiful." I say, honestly. Of course, she could be wearing a sack and I would still say that.
"You should see what I have on underneath." Brinna twirls, her skirt floating around her like a cloud and then winks at me over her should.
I playfully put my hand over my heart. "Tigris will be the death of me if she keeps this up. I am not a young man."
Brinna walks up to me and straightens my neck tie. "You don't do too badly for your age." And when she looks at me and smiles, I swear I see the future in it. I see us standing on the balcony, waving at Panem after the rebuilding is done. I see a gray haired Brinna pacing a room while I sit and read in front of a fireplace, her hands flying in gestures as she engages in passionate discourse on some topic. I see us dancing at something called a Harvest Festival, Brinna's hair flying free and her smile very white in the firelight. I see flannel pajamas with cats on them for both of us as we cuddle our wrinkled old bodies together. You are my partner and I would give you all that I am.
She must see something on my face because she pats my tie one more time, drops her eyes from mine and steps away. "We mustn't be late."
Brinna and I sit on opposite ends of the dining table. Between us are Plutarch, Boron and Lilac Welkin, Mark and Chaela Whaley, Keefer Ricies, Shawnee Wallis, Hetor Olivaro, and Jillh Erwine. All of them had been instrumental in one way or another in getting Brinna elected. All were involved in some way with the rebellion. Some are on the Rebuilding Committee, but not all. Only a few have contact with Paylor detractors, Plutarch being one of them.
We talk about the weather through the cold berry soup course. Talk turns to rebuilding and activity in the districts through the pork, roasted with fennel and served with yams. Brinna brings up the train idea, talks through the necessity for it while more wine is served and a plate of cheese and fruit is brought out.
The group discusses the train idea vigorously: Boron and his sister in law are adamantly for it, passionately lobbying for the unification of Panem. Shawnee and Hetor do not see the necessity, especially for the cost. The discussion goes back and forth. Plutarch talks about what the investment would do for the morale of the country. Keefer Ricies broaches the idea of 13 contributing to cover the costs, an idea which everyone seems to love.
Brinna says thoughtfully, "What if they won't help pay for it?"
The group seems taken aback. Boron says, "We all agreed to support you when we voted you in as President. District 13 signed themselves into the union and agreed to abide with Panem's decisions. To not do so is treason."
"What are we to do, Boron? Threaten to break up the union if they do not comply? We are not children. We have come too far in too short a time to risk it." Brinna says quietly. I realize that Brinna is talking about more than transportation. She is posing the fundamental problem of dissension within the government. It is there and we all know it. How do we approach it? Do we hunt down those who disagree like the former regime? Do we allow the dissension to exist and risk it growing?
"President Paylor, with all due respect - we all agreed to bring in a new president by vote. That vote was decided and it was you. To disagree with that vote, or any decision made by this government cannot be something we can condone." Jillh Erwine says.
Brinna motions for dessert to be served. I know this to be a delay tactic so that she can gather her thoughts. When the coffee and tea has been served and each of us has a boat of custard with carmelized, spun sugar crowning it in front of us, she says, "So what is the answer? Are we saying that, if 13 has a different opinion on the matter, that we force them to comply? Do we truly believe that will grow the tenuous peace that exists?"
Chaela Whaley speaks, "The war almost decimated the personal fortunes of families like ours. We were lucky to remain largely unscathed! We must not be the only people who finance Panem's recovery. We need the districts to begin to carry their own weight, starting with 13. They have not contributed to Panem's greater good in the last seventy five years. It is time that they stop thinking only of themselves."
"They still have their nukes." Hetore says quietly. That seems to silence the group and we eat our custard quietly, tides of trivial conversation ebbing and flowing. I merely pick at my dessert, despite my love for all things sweet. The group is talking casually about military action against my home district which shocks me. I continually need to remind myself that civility is only a veneer for some people, including those in 13 and some of those here in the Capitol.
Brinna is her usual business-like self when she says, 'It sounds as if we have agreement that we need the train to run to 13. We also have agreement to finance roughly half of the project, if 13 will cover the other half. If they do not comply, we will discuss further reparations of some sort. Agreed?" The group nods or murmurs their assent. "Excellent. Then we will deal with nuclear disarmament and that 13's lack of compliance as a separate matter."
With that, we adjourn to another room where a popular musician is playing for us. I straggle behind, tired from the heavy meal and the topic. I take another sip of my tea, gazing into the amber liquid and hoping for something to soothe the ache I felt in my heart when I think of more violence.
"You didn't say very much during dinner." Lilac Welkin says, moving from her spot at the table to one closer to mine. I do not know her very well, so I simply give her a small smile. "And you didn't eat your dessert. My children would be aghast." She stares at my mostly full custard.
"Would you like it?" I motion toward the bowl. I, too, am aghast that I left it. We have nothing like the food in the Capitol in District 13. To waste such an amazing dessert would be just unheard of there.
"No, thank you. I'm so stuffed already!" She pats her stomach.
"How many children do you have?" I have seen pictures of the Welkins all over the Capitol, but I can not keep the family – and who belongs to whom – straight.
"Three. I am rebuilding Panem for them. So they never have to go through what their Grandmother went through at the hands of a corrupt government. I want to give them something better. That's why I support the Primrose President."
"And what of renewed violence? Do reparations forced on districts that do not comply fit in your dream of a better future for your children?" I do not sound bitter, which makes me proud of my control.
Lilac has the grace to look down at her hands. "I don't know where they fit, Doctor. I just know that we need to remain a united Panem, or we will be at war with one another constantly. We are better together than we could ever be apart."
I sit quietly as I do not have anything with which to argue the point.
She clears her throat, "Doctor, I know that you care about our President. I do as well. I thought I should let you know that there has been talk of a more personal action against her."
I look at her, slow recognition dawning. "You have heard it too?" She nods. "When? Where? Who?"
Lilac answers, "We do not know when or where yet. We are working on those. We believe the responsible party may be a former Snow supporter, bitter over the election. We have very limited knowledge, since it seems that there are multiple plans. We have to believe some of them are decoys."
I rub the bridge of my nose. "Would you be able to send me the specifics you have on the plans? Perhaps I can plan a counter-attack."
Lilac looks at me like I have sprouted two heads. "Are you sure that's wise? You don't have the resources to plan something like that."
I laugh a little. "That may be true. But sometimes, one man acting alone can accomplish what an army cannot."
She assesses me for a long moment. "I will have the information sent to your office."
I nod. "Excellent. Now let us see if this singer can carry a tune."
Brinna Paylor's POV
Where did Marus disappear to during the concert? I think to myself as I kick off my shoes. I thought he had stayed behind after dinner, as had Lilac. What was he doing? Come to think of it, he had been acting oddly even before dinner. The way he had stared at me, it was like he had never seen me before! All of this is especially strange given that we see each other more than we ever have before.
Not that I am complaining.
Since Marus has moved to the mansion, things between us have exceeded my expectations. He is supportive, caring passionate, attentive, and a wonderful companion. There is only one downside: Marus has not told me that he loves me. I know he does because I can feel it when he kisses me or when he holds me at night. I don't know why I want to hear the words from him when they aren't necessary to our relationship. I just want to hear them.
"You were awfully quiet during dinner." I say to him. Given the topic, I don't think I blame him. He doesn't normally talk a great deal during these sorts of dinners. I make to pull the diamond pins from my hair when I feel him reach into my hair and rub my scalp. I lean back into his warm body, all the tension flowing right out of mine. I feel him nuzzling my ear as he pulls the pins from my hair, then takes out my earrings. "Are you sure you've never lived with a woman before?"
He whispers in my ear, "I've never wanted to live with one before you." He gently turns me around to face him.
I wrap my arms around his neck, "So where did you disappear to?"
He kisses me softly. "Lilac Welkin and I discussed a few things."
"Anything interesting?" I fiddle with his tie, which he then pulls loose, undoing his top button.
"Not really. Not as interesting as me wondering what you have on underneath that dress." He winks at me.
I laugh, lighter than I've felt all night. "I guess you'll have to unwrap me to find out."
Afterward, we lay in each other's arms. My mind drifts back to the dinner conversation. "Marus, what did you think about the dinner conversation? "
He thinks for a bit. Either that or he is drifting off to sleep, so I shift a little to determine which. When I feel his arms tighten around me, I know that he is just thinking. "I think that using force against districts that do not agree with the Capitol is what started the rebellion."
I sigh. I agree with him.
"Boron means well, and he's right: it is treason. But didn't we fight for the districts to have a right to their opinions?"
"We?" I add jokingly.
I can hear the laughter in his voice when he replies, "Fine. You - you fought while I was holed up in a lab." I kiss him for playing along. I kiss him because I can, because he is here with me and because I love him. The trouble is that I agree with Marus – the districts should not have to agree with everything the Capitol dictates.
"So, what do I do? I keep thinking of ways to give the districts some flexibility. They vote already on rebuilding efforts. Some of them advise me. But none of that is consistent. Participation is not mandatory." We fall silent, thinking on the problem and just enjoying each other. "I think too many people agree with me here."
"What?" I hear Marus say sleepily.
"Everyone is passionate and they all want to be involved. But they all are rebellion supporters. Snow's former cronies won't even talk to me; they won't let me know what their agenda is. I need advisors who can see both sides and who disagree with me more than trivially."
"To lift a quote from dinner tonight, that is treason." Marus points out. I hear him sigh, "But I think it is smart. You need someone telling you some of the hard truths firsthand. You need someone to give you another viewpoint."
I nod, sleepily against his chest. Luckily I know just where to start. "Marus, would you be able to take a little time off and come to District 2 with me?" I feel him drop a kiss on top of my head.
"Of course."
I tell him I love him. It almost doesn't bother me when he doesn't answer.