Sorry this is late!

A/N: The Codex entries are completely made up by me. It's to compensate for the fact that I'm running out of Chants of Light. ^_^

A Templar has no Father other than the Maker.

He has no Mother other than Blessed Andraste.

The Order is his sisters, his brothers, his children, his nieces and nephews.

The Order is his family, held together by bonds of duty and faith, stronger than blood.

-Codex of the Templar Knights of Andraste

Garrett's eyes snapped open and he bolted upright, his hand outstretched, grasping for something that was no longer there.

"Garrett!" Hands grappled for him, pressing him gently down against the bed. "Don't sit up."

He glanced over to see Bethany's worried eyes. "Beth?"

A sob escaped her lips, and she covered her mouth with the back of her hand. "Oh, Garrett…" She threw her arms around him and squeezed tightly. "I'm so… I'm so sorry."

For such a slender woman, Bethany really knew how to crush the air out of someone when she hugged them. Garrett awkwardly patted her back. "It's all right, Beth. I just—"

Memory slammed into him, and the words lodged in his throat, choking him.

"Anders…" Garrett breathed.

"He didn't make it, Garrett. He and Justice… I'm so sorry." Bethany's tears slipped off her face and onto Garrett's neck, soaking into the bandage on this throat.

Garrett's eyes became wild, and his hands shook on Bethany's back. "He's not dead…" he gasped out. "He's not dead," he said louder, and with more conviction.

Bethany pulled back just far enough to meet Garrett's eyes. "We found Justice's—Kristoff's—body. Anders had been with him and… They were only supposed to scout and come right back. They were supposed to come right back to the great hall."

With his head throbbing, Garrett shook his head in denial. "No… No!" He none too gently pried Bethany's arms from around him, and then swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "He's not dead… He's not dead!" Garrett balled his hands up into fists and pressed them into his closed eyes. "Oh, Maker, help me. He's not—"

Bethany crouched down to the floor in front of him. She grabbed his arms by the wrists and pulled his fists away, forcing him to look at her. "It's all right, Brother. You don't have to go through this alone."

"You don't understand," Garrett whispered fiercely. "I saw him, Beth. He's not dead. He's…" He couldn't make himself say it out loud. It was as if by doing so it would become true, and Garrett would be unable to snatch the words back. "He's…" What did he say? That Anders was gone? That he was only partially there? That he had done something in his reckless impulsiveness that might not ever be undone?

It was too much and Garrett began sobbing, averting his eyes from Bethany. "He's…" He swallowed several times, forcing the tears back. No more secrets from his sister. No more lies and half-truths. "Justice is in Anders now," he said in a rush. "Anders is still in there—somewhere. But he… But they… They left, Beth. He left me…"

He could feel how Bethany's hands twitched in surprise on his wrists. "What?" The words were scarcely more than a breath.

Garrett looked up and met her stunned eyes. "I need help. I don't know what to do."

Kirkwall, six months later

This was never how he had pictured seeing his brother and mother for the first time in years. Garrett shifted from one foot to another and pulled down the tabard of the Grey Wardens, straightening it and dusting it off. He heard a giggle next to him and he looked at Bethany on his right.

"Don't be nervous, Garrett. They'll just be happy to see us both." She gave him a warm smile and knocked on the door of the Hawke Estate.

Estate… Maker, look how far Carver had come since the days of running from one remote village to the next, never knowing how they were going to earn their living.

After Garrett had convinced Bethany that he hadn't lost his mind from grief, she had run out of the room to fetch Aedan. Telling Aedan what had happened had been one of the hardest things Garrett had ever had to do in his life. So had been informing his commander that he was going to leave the Wardens and go looking for Anders as soon as he was well.

Aedan's face had set deeper and deeper into grim lines, his arms crossed over his chest as he had listened to Garrett. When Garrett had finished, his body drained, and his emotions purged, Aedan had just nodded once and told him to go and find Anders—to bring him back.

The relief had had tears pricking the backs of Garrett's eyes again, and he had blinked rapidly in order to prevent them from falling. Aedan had told Garrett that when he was ready, that he would have anything he needed to find Anders. Anders was a Warden, the same as Garrett, and when one of their own was in trouble, they didn't abandon them to their fate.

Aedan had snarled the last through clenched teeth, and Garrett knew he was remembering the cemetery outside of Denerim, that he was thinking of the bodies that they still had to bury at the Vigil.

It had taken Garrett months to track Anders down. Garrett didn't know if Justice was helping him, or if Anders had decided that not only was he good at escaping, but he was good at hiding as well.

But Garrett was also good at something—tracking down apostates that didn't want to be found.

He had tracked Anders as far as Highever, but no further. When he had reported that to Aedan, the commander had told Garrett to turn his ass back around, and to take with him a letter for the Lord of Highever.

The Lord of Highever had taken one look at the letter, and then had given Garrett the use of soldiers to aid in his search for Anders—no questions asked.

It had taken them a week to discover that Anders had been seen boarding a ship for Kirkwall.

Kirkwall…

Garrett had little hope that Anders would still be in the city by the time he got there, but he would have some allies in his search. At least, he would if he brought Bethany with him. Once she had heard where Anders had gone, she had insisted that he bring her along. At first, he had tried to dissuade her from it—who knows how long he would be gone, how long it would take him to search—but she would hear none of it.

Not even when Garrett had pointed out that she would be leaving Nate behind.

He knew that had been a cruel thing to do, but he had to be sure that she knew what she was getting into. Garrett wasn't going to stop until Anders was found again, he wasn't going to stop until he was once more himself. His rash thoughts about killing Anders, would always haunt Garrett. How could he blame him for leaving?

But still, Anders should have trusted the Wardens, he should have trusted Garrett. That he hadn't, hurt in ways that Garrett hadn't thought possible.

How much of that was Anders, and how much was Justice?

The door opened, and a dwarf with his blond beard in neat braids stood on the threshold. "Can I help you, Mes—" His eyes widened. "Lady Bethany! It's me, Bodahn. Do you remember me? Oh, your brother will be so happy to see you." He took a step back. "Come in!"

Bethany smiled and moved inside, Garrett behind her. "This is amazing," she breathed. She walked out of the entryway and into a large, open room, with a blazing fireplace. "Maker… To think Carver and Mother are living in this!"

There was a nervous clearing of the throat behind them, and both Garrett and Bethany turned around to face Bodahn. The dwarf clasped his hands behind his back and averted his eyes. "I thought… That's right, you wouldn't have gotten the letter yet. Your mother… Your mother is dead."

"So you killed him then?" Garrett asked for what had to be the twelfth time.

Carver leaned back in his seat in the kitchen and took another long sip of his ale. "He's not coming back from what I did to him. He won't hurt another woman again."

Bethany turned red, puffy eyes on Carver. "I wish we could have been here. I wish—"

"But you weren't," Carver said harshly. He cleared his throat. "Sorry… I've gone over and over what I could have done differently, but… but I was driving myself crazy." He drained the last of his ale and slammed the empty tankard down on the unfinished, wood table. The kitchen was large, but there was a great fire roaring merrily, sending light into every corner of the room, warming them.

Garrett didn't feel warm.

"I'd heard that it was bad in Kirkwall. News of blood mages running rampant has even reached Denerim." He and Bethany exchanged a quick glance. No matter how much Garrett wanted to not keep secrets, there were some things that weren't his to tell. Bethany knew, but what could they safely tell Carver without breaching Warden secrets?

Bethany took the decision out of his hands.

"Is what we've heard about the Templars here true?"

Carver eyed them both. "What have you heard?"

Bethany launched into what Garrett had found out in Denerim, with a few interruptions from Garrett for clarification. "Is it true the Templars are running things here?" Bethany asked again when she had finished.

Taking a deep breath, Carver let it out slowly. "Things are bad in Kirkwall. The Templars have a stranglehold on the mages, and everyone in Kirkwall. The people here see blood mages around every corner, and frankly, they aren't wrong to be so paranoid. The Knight-Commander has…" he paused as he searched for the right word, "become erratic, fanatical." He waved a hand in frustration. "The mages have started some sort of underground resistance, lending fuel to the fire. The city is a powder keg, and it's only going to take the smallest spark for it to go off."

Garrett latched onto something that Carver had said. "Underground mage resistance… How long has this been going on?"

"Several months," Carver answered, solidifying Garrett's suspicions.

Bethany's eyes shot over to Garrett. "You don't think…"

"I do," Garrett said through gritted teeth. "You didn't hear the things they said, Beth. If he's here, he'll be with them."

The Hanged Man wasn't the sort of place that Garrett Hawke would have ever entered voluntarily. And really, he wasn't doing so now. His boots stuck to the scarred wooden floor with each step he took. Round tables were scattered around haphazardly, with no pretense towards any order. No one gave them more than a second glance when they came through the door. He and Bethany were wearing the armor of the Grey Wardens, and not even that was any cause for a single raised eyebrow.

Yeah… Not really the best place.

He, Carver and Bethany had stayed up late the night before, catching up and explaining why Garrett and Bethany were in Kirkwall. Carver had known immediately who they had needed to talk to in order to find out if Anders was still in the city.

It was strange. While Carver had not exactly mellowed, he had grown up since Garrett had seen him last. He carried himself differently, as if he had finally decided that he didn't have to live in his siblings' shadows anymore. Oh, he could still be opinionated, and there had been times in the twenty-four hours since he and Garrett had finally come together again, that Garrett wanted to strangle his little brother, but there was no real malice in the feeling. Maybe that's what Carver had need all along, was a chance to shine without Bethany or Garrett around, for him to see that he could do great things.

Garrett wrinkled his nose as a drunk weaved over to him, and belched in his face before moving on.

Of course, Carver did have friends that frequented the Hanged Man, so maybe he hadn't changed completely.

Carver led them up short stairs, and walked right through an open door without knocking. Several people sat around a large table, playing cards. At its head sat a beardless dwarf, ensconced in an overly elaborate chair.

He glanced up when they entered, Carver shutting the door behind them. "Sunshine!" Several pairs of eyes shot over to the Hawke siblings.

"Varric!" Bethany hurried over to the dwarf and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so glad to see you!"

There were several happy cries of, "Bethany," and chairs scraped along the floor as people got to their feet to surround Garrett's sister.

Well, almost everyone.

An elf with strange markings on his throat and chin, and a shock of white hair stayed in his seat. But his intense, green eyes tracked Bethany as she hugged each person in turn.

Garrett stayed in the background as his brother moved passed him. These were the people responsible for keeping Carver and Bethany alive when Garrett couldn't. No matter who they were, or the things they might have done in the past, Garrett could never judge them. There was a loud crash from the other side of the door as two people began fighting.

Of course, he could judge where they lived all he wanted.

"Who… is this?" Garrett glanced over to see a woman with dark skin, and showing a respectable—respectable?—amount of cleavage, eyeing him. Her thick, gold jewelry winked in the firelight as she strode over.

"That's Garrett," Carver said. "My older brother." He gave Garrett a small smile, and he returned it. The two of them had started the road of hashing out their various problems with each other through their letters, and had continued it last night. They had come a long way from the days when Carver had resented Garrett for his interference in his life, and Garrett's inability to see Carver as anything other than his little brother. In days past, Carver never would have introduced Garrett to his friends with pride like he was now.

Isabela did a slow circuit around Garrett, clicking her tongue. "My, my… If I had known your brother looked like this, I would have gone to visit my friends at the Vigil sooner."

That's right, she knew Aedan and Zevran. Garrett's eyebrows shot up. "I uh…"

"Sorry, Izzy," Bethany said. "My brother doesn't swing that way."

"Maker, Bethany!" Garrett groaned and covered his eyes with his gauntleted hand. "Did they really need to know that?"

"If you do not wish for Isabela to press her advances, then yes," the elf said. His accent was strange, and Garrett lowered his hand from his eyes to look at him. The elf stared at him unblinking.

"You take the fun out of everything, Fenris," Isabela pouted. She retook her seat, and slung her arm over the back.

Carver nodded at the elf. "That's Fenris." He pointed at each person in turn. "Merrill, Aveline, Sebastian, Isabela, and finally Varric, the dwarf that knows all there is to know in Kirkwall."

Garrett gave each person a small nod of acknowledgement. "Everything?" he asked.

"If I don't know it, then I can find out easily enough," Varric said. He looked at Carver out of the corner of his eyes. "What's going on? Not that I don't like my praises to be sung."

"We're looking for someone, Carver said you might be able to help," Garrett explained.

"Who's looking?" Varric asked shrewdly. "You or the Wardens?"

"Both," Garrett said honestly. "I'm looking for a Warden that might have come through Kirkwall a few months ago from Highever." He paused. "He's also a mage."

"An apostate?" Sebastian said. "Kirkwall is no place for apostates, not anymore."

Garrett narrowed his eyes on the handsome man. "Prince Vael?"

"No longer prince," Sebastian said. "And you might be better off going to check the Gallows first."

"I can't." Garrett curled his hands in frustration. "Too risky." It was more than too risky. He had severed all ties with the order, but there was still a chance that they would jump at the opportunity to capture him, just to piss Aedan off. He had to stay as far away from the Templars as he could. Granted, coming to Kirkwall was flirting with disaster, but what choice did he have?

"But weren't you a Templar once?" Aveline asked in a no-nonsense way. "I remember Bethany and Carver talking about you."

"Once, but not anymore. I'm a Warden now. I doubt that the Templars will speak to me."

"Wait!" Bethany exclaimed. "Is Knight-Captain Cullen still here?"

Cullen? Maker, Garrett had forgotten. If there was a small chance that Cullen still held their friendship in any regard, then he might be able to get information from him.

"I don't know, Sunshine," Varric drawled. "He's second in the city only to Meredith. I could poke around and see what I find. Meanwhile, why don't you tell me about this apostate Warden of yours? Finding mages in the city is easy. Finding a specific one that might not want to be found is a little harder."

"I just need to know if he's still here first," Garrett said. "Let's worry about the rest later."

Because that's what it came down to, wasn't it-worrying about the rest later. Finding Anders was all that mattered right now.