After hearing everything, Bobby still had trouble with the fact that Dean and Sam didn't realize they weren't with the real Bobby for days.

Dean felt embarrassed. "We – had things on our minds."

Sam shot Dean a look, but thankfully said nothing. Nothing about Dean and Castiel's relationship had come up in the rehash, and Dean wasn't sure how he was going to explain that to Bobby.

"Well, from now on, no more nonsense about not keeping in touch with me. I was this close," and he held his thumb and forefinger almost together, "from leaving this place and calling you guys. I don't know, but I think Castiel might have put some mojo on me along with his dream, because it convinced me to stay."

Bobby told them about his time there at the Abbey. The nuns had been very nice when he showed up. He explained to them that he wasn't sure why, but he was told in a dream he needed to come here. They didn't think that was odd, and had him help out with certain chores and join in on their meditation practices, while offering him the retreat cabin. Bobby read several books from their library to help pass the time, the nuns didn't have television or other recreation.

"And soon as we're outta here, I'm popping open a cold one. I've gone two weeks without a beer!"

Everyone had a chuckle over that. Even Castiel cracked a small smile. Bobby told them about the books he'd read – that the Buddhists believe in karma and reincarnation and basically wanted to become enlightened to benefit all sentient beings.

"Benefit them, how?" Dean asked.

"By helping them all eliminate their suffering."

"Even Lucifer? They want to eliminate his suffering?"

"Uh, yes, I guess so, but I'm not sure they'd see Lucifer the same way we do. Anyway, not that I've bought all their ideas and am ready to take them home in a basket – but it did get me to thinking some, of a strategy for Lucifer."

"Yeah?" Sam said. They had already told Bobby that they were looking to him for help on what to do next.

"This even reminds me a little bit about what your Vicewren told you," Bobby said. "Almost mirrors it, in a weird way. But I thought of this before you guys showed up. I think we need to find out more about what Lucifer was like before he fell. When he was still an angel. I'm thinking Castiel might know some things," he nodded to him, "And I think I know of a couple of people who actually saved some ancient lore on the topic. And don't worry, these people aren't dabbling in the black arts. I'm not leading you all into Lucifer's lair," Bobby gave a reassuring look to Dean.

It was getting late, and Bobby told the men that they'd better talk to the nuns about accommodations before they went to sleep. Bobby told them there was another retreat cabin, just like this one.

"Sounds good," Dean said. "I'm staying in this cabin with Bobby. Sam and Cas, you two are together tonight."

"You still don't believe me," Castiel said to Dean.

"We'll discuss it more later. See you."

Castiel didn't seem to flinch, but Sam gave Dean a peering look. Then they turned around to leave.

After Sam and Castiel left, Bobby said, "You really don't think he's Lucifer, do you?"

"I don't know what to think anymore," Dean said. "I'm not so sure anymore that it is Castiel. But maybe it's just my paranoia talking."

"I doubt anyone but Castiel could be given' you those looks he's always giving you. Like you're the only person in the goddamn world. And just now, he looked so hurt when you said he had to take off with Sam. Is he used to hanging out with you all the time?"

"He did? I didn't see him looking hurt, I saw him looking neutral! It was really bothering me, and was one of the big reasons I wasn't sure about him."

"Oh, he was a more than a little disconcerted that you didn't believe him. You really couldn't see that? And the look in his eyes today, I felt like I was intruding on a private conversation! It was like he was trying to reach out to you the whole time. I didn't think much about it at first, figured you were so used to his puppy-dog eyes that you didn't think about it twice."

"Maybe Lucifer's cast a spell on me, to get me to not trust Cas. To mess with me."

"It's possible. I wonder though, why he didn't choose Sam to deceive you with, rather than Castiel? It's not like he's an angel anymore. I'm not knocking him or anything, but it seems to me it would be more strategic to hit you where your heart is."

Dean looked down. Damn, Bobby was smart. "Good point," Dean said. "But Cas isn't meaningless to me, you know? We've been through a few scrapes together."

Bobby nodded an acknowledgement and they both were ready to dive into their beds, as late as it was. Dean spoke out loud before he realized what he was saying. "I guess maybe it's good for us to sleep apart for once."

"Oh yeah? Why? Crowded motel rooms have you two bickering a lot?"

"No, not exactly. I'll explain in the morning. Goodnight, Bobby."

Dean crawled into bed and tucked the plaid flannel blanket over his shoulder. He remembered the time he thought Bobby had caught Dean with Castiel in his arms. Back then, Dean didn't feel as embarrassed as he thought he would be.

But now, he felt unsettled about whether or not Castiel was really himself, and some embarrassment was gripping him. And Dean was back to square one on needing to clue Bobby in about Dean and Castiel being an item. Well, on the bright side, Dean thought, Bobby wasn't going to have to catch them together in his bed.

If this was really Castiel. It bothered Dean that he felt so suspicious and untrusting of him right now. Maybe all it was was that Lucifer had put a spell on Dean.

God. Just a couple nights ago, Dean was saying to himself that no-way, no-how was Lucifer going to get in the way of Dean sleeping in Castiel's arms. Yet apparently, he succeeded.

Dean wanted to stop feeling like a damn yo-yo. First, he decides that he won't sleep with Castiel tonight because he needs to guard himself against Lucifer's tricks. Now he felt like that same action means he did fall for Lucifer's tricks. Dammit! He willed himself to stop worrying about it for now, and to get some sleep.

--

Sam and Castiel were brought to an identical cabin, and they bedded down immediately. In the dark, Castiel asked, "Sam, do you believe me? I'm really sorry I didn't tell both of you about Bobby. But please understand, I've been an angel for millennia's. It's in my normal frame of thinking to see the bigger picture when it comes to actions being taken."

"Yes, I believe you. I'm finding it a little bit strange that Dean is so suspicious of you, especially after that 'love talk' of yours the other night."

Castiel sighed a little. "This is to be expected – Lucifer will try in many ways to get us to lose ground. And I apologize for the 'love talk' in front of you, I suppose that was inconsiderate of us…"

"Eh, don't worry about it. It was weird, but it's not like you two have any real privacy. Well, maybe if Bobby's hanging around with us often, we can rent two rooms. Me and Bobby in one, and you and Dean in the other."

"Perhaps. If Dean trusts me later. I miss him tonight, but I am more disturbed about what Lucifer could have done to make Dean so suspicious of me. It could blossom into something much worse than what it is now."

"Maybe Dean's just being cautious," Sam said. "We did get the wool pulled over our eyes by that Bobby-wannabe."

"Yes. Perhaps that is all it is. Goodnight, Sam."

Castiel lay quietly in his bed, feeling a mixture of faith and fear – it was a rather incompatible concoction, like water and oil. The feelings kept themselves separate, and Castiel felt split into two. He felt some faith that things could turn out okay, that Dean would trust him again. And they would all be a team to help Dean stop Lucifer.

He also felt a cold, gripping fear in his stomach that Dean's mistrust would get worse and worse and separate Castiel from Dean, and impair his judgment, making him less capable of defeating Lucifer. He remembered the two times Dean had walked away angry, talking as if he'd never speak to Castiel again. He couldn't bear it – and that's when he still had his grace to act as a shield against emotional pain. The pain had still hit him, sharp, a stab in the stomach, heaviness to his chest. And then Dean had spoken to him again rather quickly, hadn't stayed mad, so he never had to deal with Dean being at odds with him for very long. He wasn't sure his heart would know how to navigate such a thing if Lucifer got between them, or even Dean just being Dean got between them.

He decided he would deal with that when he got there, and not a moment before. He wasn't going to let Lucifer jerk his chain. He calmed down by reassuring himself there was reason to have faith. Things were going remarkably well, they'd escaped Lucifer once, they could do it again.

He did notice though how much he missed Dean's wanting to look over him every night, to make sure he fell asleep. Dean had taken the stance of an archetypical angel, in that respect.

Castiel had noticed that Dean hadn't mentioned the word 'love' when Castiel had told Dean he loved him, but thought nothing of it at all. Dean wasn't verbal about feelings, it was Dean's way for his actions to speak for him. So Castiel missed Dean's nurturing nature even more, but told himself this would pass.

--

Dean woke up and reflexively squeezed his arms in anticipation of holding Castiel closer to him, and then realized he wasn't there. Instead of Castiel's divinely handsome face, Dean was looking smack at the red plaid blanket that felt rough and itchy against his face. These nuns don't use fabric softener, Dean thought.

Dean pushed the blanket away from his face and sat up. Bobby was still asleep. Dean stepped outside to stretch his legs and get a breath of fresh air. Something about that little cabin made it smell and taste musty every time he took a breath.

Outside, it smelled like it had just rained, and moisture was visible on the grass, but unbelievably, Dean could see a large patch of blue sky above him. There was a huge clearing of mowed lawn before him, and beyond that, the glistening snow-capped peaks of the mountains. Dean wondered if he was supposed to start spinning around and singing like Julie Andrews.

Dean heard the door moving behind him and spun around. Bobby was stepping out, squinting at the sunlight.

"Has it been sunny like this the whole time you've been here?" Dean asked.

"Most of the time. Sometimes it rains. Why?"

Dean explained that all over the United States the weather had been overcast ever since Lucifer broke free.

"Huh. Maybe what Castiel says about this place is true. Say Dean, what were you going to tell me this morning? About you and Castiel having troubles sleeping in the same room or something?"

Here goes, Dean thought with a lurch in his stomach. He wondered how much explaining it would take. If Castiel had been in a female vessel, Dean could have said some ridiculously sexist comment about some fetching body part of hers, and had a chuckle with Bobby about what a catch she was, and let it go.

Dean felt like cutting to the chase was the best approach. No need to make it more painful by elongating the process.

"Well, actually, Bobby, we're not having troubles sleeping in the same room. We've been sleeping in the same bed. And -uh- liking it."

Bobby looked at him funny and stepped back. "You're kidding, right?"

But Bobby could see how nervous and embarrassed Dean looked. "You're not kidding. Wow. Wait a minute. Are you really Dean?"

"Yeah, this is really me, Bobby! Sam asked me the same thing when he found out. To be honest, I have trouble figuring out how this happened to me in the first place. It just sort of happened. Me and Cas, that is."

"Hey, hey, hey, simmer down, boy. I believe you. It's just some surprising news." Bobby said. His eyes softened. "I bet it took a lot of guts to tell me that. Especially for you, Dean."

Dean smiled a little. "Yeah, it did. So, you're not going to give me a hard time?"

"Not with you looking like you did just now, like you just bared your goddamned soul – oops I shouldn'ta said it that way – anyways, not when you laid your heart out like that. I'm not cruel."

"The other Bobby was. He was kinda snide about it…" Dean looked down thoughtfully, then said, "Castiel knew it wasn't you, and he's the one who stopped us from doing the ritual in Lucifer's bed. Or Vicewren's bed. I thought at the time he was incredibly perceptive and wanted to give him props for being so level-headed at the time, but now I'm feeling angry, because he had forehand knowledge, and knew it wasn't you to begin with!"

"Uh – what ritual in Lucifer's bed? You didn't tell me about this last night."

Dean looked back at the memory of last night, and realized that he had quickly gone over the part where Castiel realized Bobby wasn't Bobby and got them to get out of the house. Dean rushed through it and got to the part where they were all at Father O'Brian's place before slowing down his speaking pace. He'd purposely been vague – very vague.

So he filled Bobby in on the rest, even the horror of the killer erections, which got a rip-roaring laugh out of Bobby. "So Lucifer gave you a killer dose of Viagra, huh?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Lucifer's probably going to turn the whole world into some really nasty porn flick. Ugh. I still don't like the thought of sex right now."

"Can I tell you something Dean?" Bobby said.

"Yeah, of course! I've just told you some of the most embarrassing stuff in my whole life!"

"I had a suspicion that maybe that was going on, between you and Castiel, but was sure afraid to ask. Then when you told me, it was still kinda shocking. But don't be embarrassed, boy. If there's anything I know about you Dean, it's that when someone makes their way into your heart, you're going to be real good to them. That matters a whole lot more to me than who it is."

"Uh, thanks." Dean cleared his throat and tapped his feet, anxious to change the subject. "I really hope that Castiel is Castiel. Now I feel sorta bad about last night."

"That's part of the reason I wondered if you and Castiel could be together, that if he put a spell on you, he was hitting you where your heart was. In fact, I might have something we can look up at home about exactly what he used." He scratched his head. "This sounds familiar, somehow."