Chapter 21

Take a Chance on Me

"Can't we just go back in and switch them?" Coulson asked as the two scientists continued pouring over data.

"NO!" They chorused.

"We aren't even sure Daisy is still in there. There is no way to contact her or to find out if she is even conscious of this…predicament." Fitz shook his head in frustration.

"There is no way to guarantee either of their safety. We don't know what it might do to Skye if Daisy isn't there on the other side." Jemma fretted. She gauged the look on Coulson's face and elected not to share her concerns about what might happen to Daisy as well. He already looked like someone who had lost much too much. Coulson sacrificed everything for the agency…for them and now they were almost ready to ask him to sacrifice the daughter he had only just found. How could life be so cruel to a man who gave so much? She just shook her head and squeezed the back of his hand.

Coulson smiled back but knew there was much both scientists were not saying.

"I have to run a few simulations. I don't know if sending her back will help or make things even worse. Look at what's happened already." Fitz spoke more to himself than to the others. Why hadn't Daisy told him about Skye? Why hadn't she mentioned that she hadn't assumed that avatar completely? Perhaps it was a lie. Perhaps she did not really trust him as much as she led him to believe. After all he had done to her in that damn Hellwork of AIDA's, how could she even look at him? It ate at him constantly. What if somehow that demonic evil part of him did this on purpose? What if it were still trying to take over his consciousness? Skye had escaped the framework he created to help Daisy and her parents. What if The Doctor had done the same? What if that monstrosity was lurking in his essence without his knowledge? It wanted to kill Jemma. It would have if Radcliffe hadn't…

Fitz stopped, suddenly feeling very nauseous. He rose from his seat in front of the monitors and keyboards and turned slowly, facing Jemma. The look on her face was of concern…fear…perhaps dread or blame…blaming him for this catastrophe. She stepped toward him, with that look…that same look she had after Ward…that look that said she would fix it if she could but…maybe would do nothing to take away this unending guilt…this pain that stood like a bloody barrier between him and everyone he had ever loved…especially his Jemma, his once sweet Jemma. He knew he did not deserve her.

She reached for him. That small white hand ready to guide and support him in whatever he did would light on his arm or his shoulder and instill in him all the courage he needed to continue, but he was no longer worthy. Fitz pulled back as fear and insecurity flooded through him like a raging fire. He knew he would be sick if she touched him…if she didn't. He'd betrayed her with a thing that was not even human, not even inhuman. His stomach lurched. He backed toward the door, staring wide-eyed at both Jemma and Coulson, almost tripping over his own feet as he went. He turned and raced out nearly colliding with May who quickly stepped aside.

Jemma moved to follow her partner. Coulson grabbed her wrist and shook his head.

"What the hell was that?" May growled as she walked into the room.

Jemma fought to contain her tears. She was trying…trying to understand, trying to put things back or just to make it through each day until they could. She loved Fitz with all her heart but could not help him to forgive himself for things he never really did. It was all a sick, made up program that lived only in a crazed android's mind. She knew Fitz would never be that monster she'd met in the Framework. He was sweet and loving, brave and loyal to his friends. He would share only bits and pieces the life he lived in the insane world AIDA had created. He spent many nights pacing in their small room or walking the debris filled halls of the once sturdy base trying to outrun the nightmares that haunted him. If she could she would climb inside his mind and delete all the memories that lurked in those dark places. As it was, he paced and she wept and neither got much sleep. They went through the motions of life during the day, working and doing their jobs because that is what Coulson needed…what May needed and what Daisy needed, but in private they were as broken as the hovel in which they all resided.

"He's a bit frustrated." Jemma answered in a shaky voice that did not convince the specialist. May merely raised an eyebrow and turned to Coulson.

The man shook his head and let out a soft breath. "Fitz has been through his data. He isn't sure what we can do to reverse this. He isn't even sure we can."

May glared at him and the young woman standing beside him. "He needs to pull himself together and put his mind to it. As I recall you once told both of them never to tell you something was impossible."

"There's no way to look into the program. We don't know if Daisy is there?" Jemma spoke softly.

"Not there? Where the hell is she?" May demanded, losing what was left of her temper but remaining her stoic self.

Coulson stood and stepped in front of his partner, ready to console her or hold her back. "They aren't sure May. It's possible we've…we've lost her." He spoke so softly it was almost impossible to hear.

"I never said that sir." Jemma quickly informed them.

The man looked into May's eyes, seeing the hurt form…seeing her push it away just a quickly. "You didn't have to, Jemma." He spoke to the scientist, as he reached for May's hand but she pulled away and walked to the wall of monitors still blinking with the strings of code.

"Then we go in and find her." She spoke through her teeth and turned to Simmons. "Send me in, now. I'll find her."

"I can't do that May." Simmons explained. "Fitz disabled the program after Daisy's solo dive into it. He didn't want it to happen a second time. Right now he's running another diagnostic searching for any trace of Daisy's code, the problem is that since they are essentially the same person the codes are also the same. He seems to think that a slight glitch appears at varying intervals, but there is no way to track them. We don't even know what causes them." Jemma sounded just as defeated as Fitz had earlier.

May grabbed the young woman's shoulder and spun her around. "We did not come all this way just to give up. You get your ass out there and find Fitz. Tell him to pull it together and get back here then the two of you put your genius brains together and work this out."

Jemma looked at her almost ready to tell her to just stuff it, but a part of her knew May was right. They had to work this out.

"NOW!" May barked and the scientist hurried from the room. She took short breaths to calm herself, bringing her heart rate down and stilling the anger that threatened to take over. Her back was to Coulson. She could not face him…not right now. She just could not look into that face and see that hurt, that need to comfort her pain, the pain she was fighting so hard to suppress. One look and it would fall apart, the wall would crumble and all the loss would crush her. Melinda May would not allow that to happen. She would not give in to emotion, not now when her daughter needed her to be strong. She felt more than heard him take a step toward her.

"Don't," she warned, stiffening at his approach.

"May," he stopped and spoke softly. "We're going to get her back. This isn't over. I don't want to believe we've lost her. I don't want to believe that possibility." He took a tentative step, then a second and laid his hand on May's shoulder. He felt the tension melt from her as it diminished under his touch. She shook with the emotion she struggled to maintain.

"We had a second chance," May spoke slowly, controlling every word. "And we screwed up again…this wasn't meant to be. Fate is trying to knock sense into us, but we keep just keep fighting it and our child pays the price. How much more can we hurt her?" She turned and spoke to her partner, ignoring the tears that filled her eyes but would not fall.

Coulson shook his head and attempted a small smile as he reached for her hand. Surprised that she allowed him to take it, he held on for a moment and stared before continuing. "Fate brought her back to us, May. Fate put her in that van in that ally a few years back and fate had me bring her here. It all boils down to fate, May. Not the kind of fate that takes things away, but the one that puts things back the way they should have been in the first place. We've come very close to losing her May, you know that, but every time, every single time fate brought her back…back to us, May."

May shook her head, not ready to trust her voice.

"Right now it seems we've got both our little girl and our Daisy, sort of an odd paradox." He almost laughed, but stopped himself at the snarl on May's face.

"And if Fitz can't fix this? Do you think that's how Daisy wants to live? Do you think she wants to be a ten year old in a woman's body? Do you think Skye is happy? And damn it Phil, what about her powers? How do we explain that to her?" May pulled her hand from his and paced across the room then back.

"Fitz is positive that her powers are dormant, that she would not have them as a child." Coulson explained. "She hasn't shown any ability, even when she was histerical."

"So here she has the mind of a child and there, hopefully, she is physically a child. Her powers…abilities are where? Somewhere lost in all those strings of numbers?" She nodded toward the computer screens. "And if Fitz does manage to straighten this mess out, can he guarantee she'll get that back?" She paused for a moment but knew he had no answer. "And how do we explain that to our Daisy? How do we help her when she realizes she's lost herself…lost who she was meant to be?"

xx

Jemma tapped lightly on the bunk door before opening it. She stood in the doorway and scanned the small, neatly kept space but found no sign that Fitz had been there. She pulled the door closed and stood against it in the dimly lit hallway. There was a time when she knew all of Fitz's hideaways, the places he went to think or to sort out those thoughts. All of those places were gone, turned to gravel by the explosion that rocked the base and began the episode that saved them all. She almost laughed at the irony. They needed total destruction to save them from destroying each other. It was ridiculous.

Jemma looked to the left. People who run away from home will more than likely go left. It was a weird fact, but one she remembered from some trivia game they used to play. 'Right,' she thought to herself. 'Like we even have a home to run from.' The hall was blocked by chunks of rubble. Fitz could not go left even if he wanted to run away. He wouldn't go to the lab. He'd know she'd look there first. Mack's garage and workshop were completely obliterated forcing him and Yoyo to seek a temporary home outside the base. It worked for them as they too tried to put their lives back together.

Mack needed time to mourn for the daughter he had lost. He still refused to share the story of the real Hope and how she had lost her very short life in this reality. It gave the strong man too much pain. He'd taken his bike and Yoyo and gone to his parent's home. He was spending time with his brother, letting the young man get to know Elena. She'd contacted them once telling them he had taken her to the place where Hope rested and he'd broken down in despair. But they were talking and sharing and making plans to do something in Hope's name, to keep her alive in that way…to help others because that's what they did. She smiled knowing the couple was on their way to healing.

The young woman made her way down the hallway, checking Daisy's bunk and a few empty rooms with no luck in finding Fitz. Jemma knew the passage to the lower levels had been cleared and the cell where they had kept Ward for all those months was surprisingly intact, unaffected by the explosion. She pushed open the door and peered down the stairs into the darkness, listening for any sound that might alert her to Fitz's presence. She heard nothing but the soft clicks and pops that old buildings that have survived major explosions will make. She stepped back into the hall and attempted to pull the door closed but it caught on something and she could not move it. She gave up and moved down the hall toward what was once the agents' locker room.

A soft sound coming from the common lavatory stopped her. Jemma moved to the door and put her ear close to it. She listened to the sounds for a few seconds before tapping lightly. "Fitz? Fitz, are you alright?" She waited, giving him time to answer. The sounds from inside stopped as if flicked off by a switch.

"Go away, Jemma. Just go away." Fitz's voice was shaky. It reminded her of when he had first begun speaking after his coma…when he was unsure and afraid.

"I can't do that, Fitz." She spoke to the door. "I won't." Jemma pushed against the door, expecting him to resist but easily opened it. She stepped inside finding her partner sitting on the floor with his back to the wall. He was pale…almost ashen. A sheen of perspiration covered his face, his hair damp on his forehead. She recognized the signs. She knew he had been vomiting. He refused to look up at her, so she sat down beside him.

For a few moments they sat in silence, almost ignoring each other's presence. Jemma folded her hands on her lap and crossed her feet at the ankles. "Do you remember our very first week at the academy?" She couldn't help the smile the memory brought. Fitz looked away, refusing to respond. "We were all given lab partners and you were put with that Carl Mordred. You said he was the reincarnation of the son of King Arthur." She laughed a small laugh. "He undermined everything you did and tried to make you feel less than what you were. I found you in the loo, just like you are now. All sweaty and pallid, thinking you should just pack up and leave. Do you remember that Fitz? Do you?" She bumped him with her shoulder.

"That was a long time ago, Simmons. We were children. We knew no better." He mumbled still looking away.

"You're right, Fitz, we were children and we've come a very long way since then. We've grown and changed and learned there are things much worse than failing an exam or an incomplete assignment." Jemma grew serious again. "We've come through a lot, Fitz, and we've survived it all. We've come through terrible things, all of us have, things we never could have imagined back then…when we were just children."

"And how many of those terrible things were because of me…because of the things I created?" Fitz spoke more to himself than to Jemma.

"Fitz, great men create great things all the time. They cannot be responsible for those who misuse their ideas or develop destruction out of those things. If that was the case there would be no new ideas or inventions or creations of any kind. You know that."

"I know that I created the devil herself and she was determined to destroy this world…and…and…I was more than willing to help her do it." His voice rose to a squeaky pitch as tears streamed down his face. "I almost killed Daisy, Jemma." He looked directly at her for the first time. "I had her beaten and tortured until she could barely stand. I would have killed her in a heartbeat and thought nothing of it. I would have…I would have pulled that trigger Jemma. I would have k-killed you as well. I can't fix this. I can't. I don't even know who I am anymore."

It was the first time he had spoken of anything that happened inside the Framework and for a moment Jemma was stunned. She knew he would have killed her there and she was willing to die. She would rather die than live without him or live with the fact that he hated her. Life was not worth living without Fitz by her side. She did not know what he had done to Daisy. She felt her skin crawl at the fact, but now was not the time or place to pursue it.

"That wasn't you, Fitz. That was something AIDA created for her own pleasure. She turned you into that version of you. You were not responsible." She reasoned for the countless time.

"It was me, Simmons. I was totally aware of what I was doing and knew I had choices but I did nothing to stop it. I wanted to do as she wished. I wanted to please her. I wanted my father's approval and I would have done anything to get either." He spit out his comments with acid-like venom. Jemma could hear the vehemence in his voice.

Jemma turned toward the man next to her and took his face in her hands. "Look at me, Fitz!" She demanded. "LOOK AT ME!" She shook his head just a bit but spoke with authority despite the tears that now streamed over her cheeks. "That was NOT you. That man that made your life possible never gave you a thing and you owe him nothing. AIDA stopped you from being the kind, wonderful, sweet man that you are because she took me away from you, because she knew that together we are unstoppable, that you need ME and I need YOU. I need you Fitz. I need you just as much as you need me. Daisy said that the one thing she believed through all the insanity we have been through was that you and I belong together and that we do not stop here. Not here on this bathroom floor, or here in this base full of rubble and debris or here in that room full of processors…not here and not now." She stared into his eyes until he closed them and squeezed out his own tears. Her hands slid down his cheeks, across his chest and back to her own lap.

Jemma's voice became soft and low. "No matter what you think you've done, you are still the man I love and I cannot go on without you, Fitz. I just can't." She let her head drop back against the wall, closed her eyes and let the sob that she had tried to quell, escape her chest.

His hand wrapped around both of hers, squeezing lightly at first then holding firmly and tugging her toward him. She allowed herself to be pulled to rest on his shoulder then sobbed harder as his arms encircled her. She felt his cheek against her forehead. It was the closest they had been since…since they returned from that nightmare. They stayed that way for a long time simply sharing the closeness.

"We have to help Daisy." Jemma broke the silence, speaking softly into Fitz's chest. She felt him nod. "May is threatening to enter the program on her own."

"I am pretty sure we have no worries about that." Fitz almost laughed. She felt the small rumble in his chest. He pulled his arms back, stood then reached down to help her up as well. "It's very late. Even if we could solve this now, we all need some rest. I am sure both versions of our Daisy or Skye or whoever we have right now is asleep, as she should be. There's little we can do." He shook his head as he rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand.

It was such a small gesture, yet it meant so much that it made Jemma's breath catch. "I don't think May is going be very happy with that." Jemma shook her head but kept her eyes on the motion of Fitz's thumb.

"She won't have much of a choice then will she?" Fitz posed as he wrapped his hand around hers and started for the door. "We'll have to appeal to her as a mother and do what's best for Daisy."

"Skye," Jemma corrected as they exited the lavatory.

"Both of them," Fitz agreed.

xx

Coulson and May stood inside the room where Skye slept. The girl had become agitated, tossing and turning in her sleep. Both agents noticed it on the monitor and hurried to comfort the girl locked in Daisy's body. May had beat Coulson to the room, quickly opening the door with her palm on the sensor pad and hurrying to the bedside. She sat on the edge of the mattress and gently rubbed the girl's back, shushing her quietly. Skye calmed immediately, hugging the little stuffed dog tightly. She snuggled down into the pillow as May tucked the blankets up to her chin and brushed the hair from her face.

"You would have been a wonderful mother." Coulson remarked without looking at his partner.

"You can tell by watching one small incident?" May raised an eyebrow.

"No," he smiled, ignoring the pain that immediately woke in his head. "I've seen you in action. You are a wonderful mother. You know just when to be soft and when to take a firm hand. You love her and she knows it. That's important for kids, to know someone thinks they are the most important thing in the world. That's how you make her feel." He grinned at the slight flush that faded over her cheeks.

"I think your projecting, Phil. You're the one who makes her feel like royalty, all that coddling and fussing and eternal spoiling." Melinda shook her head.

"I do not spoil her." Phil protested with a grin. "I just give her a little more free rein than you do."

Melinda laughed through her nose and shook her head. "We would have been good together," she looked at the surprise in his eyes, "the three of us," she added and he let out a soft sigh.

"She needed both of us, Mel, both of us together." He spoke to May but looked at Skye sleeping peacefully. "Don't you feel that…when you're there?" He hedged. The pain in his head throbbed to the point it brought unspent tears to his eyes.

"I do," she admitted. "In there…where things are…are different than here, where it's a little simpler and where we know it isn't real so we can let down our guard." May spoke as if she were talking to herself, letting her thoughts just roll. She too watched her grown, but still so young, child sleep.

Phil let his thoughts wander. In the Fitzwork he did let his guard down. He had no problem telling this woman how much he loved her. He held her and kissed her, laughed with her and wrapped his arms around her in the bed they shared. They held each other and shared their passion in the way he wished he could do here. He wished it could be the same here. Why didn't he have the courage to tell her? He had very little doubt that she felt the same, yet something held him back. It was the something that would change everything if they took that fateful step.

"We've been dancing around this for a long time Coulson." May suddenly turned to face him, tired of all they'd been through and weary with all they had yet to accomplish. They'd been together for all these years, teasing each other…testing each other. Hell, they had a child together and she needed them. Every time she stepped into that damn computer program she saw how much that little girl needed the parents they would have been, needed to be even now. Daisy was grown. She was strong and confident but she still needed that root of stability. She needed to see for herself that her parents cared as much about each other as they did about her. May knew he loved her, damn it she loved him too. That screwball Garret even saw it, saying she'd follow him to the grave and she would without question or pause. What the hell was holding them back? Was it some wild power-play as they dared each other to make the first move?

Coulson smiled through the pain he knew she could see. "Maybe they just haven't been playing the right music," he suggested.

May closed her eyes and shook her head. She used anger to hide emotion and he threw out stupid jokes to mask his. They made quite a pair. "I think it's about time we find it, don't you?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

Coulson smiled back. "I've got some old forty-fives in my bunk. If only we had a turntable we might just find something we both like."

May folded her arms and looked at him for a moment. "Seriously, you have forty-fives…and no turntable? What's the point?"

"I actually salvaged them from my old office when Mace came on board. I thought the turntable would be safe there." He shrugged his shoulders. "Who knew that robo-you would blow up our base in order to save us from robo-me?"

"Huh," May grunted. "Maybe Fitz can rig something up to play them. Wouldn't want to let all those good old fashioned love songs go to waste, would we?"

He smiled with one side of his face. "No, no we wouldn't. It's a big step, you know, listening to all that music…together."

May shook her head and turned down her mouth. "Really? I think we've already taken that step, sans the music. Maybe this time we'll have a slow dance rather than all that rock and roll." She smiled slyly.

"We could sample both…just to be sure," He grinned.

May stopped, listening to the voice in her comm. "Fitz is back," she said quickly and stepped toward the door. Coulson let out a slow breath and followed.

xx

Fitz stood in front of his collection of processors ready to defend his position. "There is little we can do now," he began. "It is late. We all need sleep in order to tackle this properly." He turned to the monitor and tapped a few keys bringing up a swirl of code. "This is Skye, the Skye we have next door. Her code differs from Daisy's in a slight bend in one of the zeros that appears at irregular intervals." He looked over his shoulder at the couple staring at the screen. "I've never seen anything like it but I have been able to track it and match it to Daisy." He tapped a few more keys. "This is Daisy's code." He let it run across the screen for several seconds then tapped the monitor. "Here and here, see the slight bend in the zero, in the opposite direction. I believe that is where they intersect or overlap or connect or whatever they do in order to exist as two separate entities."

"So, all you have to do is correct it." May observed.

Fitz stared at her for a beat, realizing this was not her forte. "No, no Agent May, that would not be wise. Should I do such a thing I could delete one or both of them, in the least I may alter their conscious minds and wipe their memories clean. Tampering with the code is not wise."

"Then why are you showing us this?" May growled, clearly disgusted with the situation.

"Because this string of code shows that Skye is sleeping and if Daisy exists in the program the she too is asleep. I've slowed down the time code in the program so it runs almost parallel to our own. It may help me locate Daisy's consciousness and send Skye back to where she switched places."

"When Daisy tried to contact Radcliffe in the Framework she kept sending him yoyos. She put them everywhere she found his code. He understood and made a connection. He could not speak to us, but we sent him messages he could understand. It's how we got Mack and Elena out of the program before AIDA ended all of them." Jemma explained.

"Then you can do the same with Daisy." Coulson stated, feeling encouraged.

"Daisy knew where Radcliffe was and that he would respond to her unorthodox message. I'm not sure of that with Daisy." He tapped a few keys and the system went black. The soft hum in the room slowly dissipated. Before May could react Fitz held up a hand. "I've put the system to sleep. Something we should all do."

May opened her mouth then shut it as Coulson stepped to her side. "He's right. We've been at this for almost twenty-four hours with no rest. Fatigue, sleep deprivation causes errors, errors we cannot afford. We all get some rest and meet back here in eight hours…no, make that next door. We can have breakfast together before we get started."

Fitz nodded as he retrieved a tablet and held a hand out toward the door. Simmons stepped that way, followed by Coulson and May. Fitz exited as well, pulling the door shut and locking it with the password on his tablet then pressing his palm to the locking pad until it turned red. It would only open for him. He would not take anymore chances.

Simmons waited and gave a slight nod to the older couple as she and Fitz headed for the bunk they shared.

"I think I'll grab a blanket and find a spot in with Skye. She might wake up and I know she is a little freaked out by the room." Coulson smiled weakly.

May nodded slowly. "There's a couple of cots in the med bay. I'll get them. You get the blankets and pillows. We wouldn't want our girl waking up and not knowing where we were, would we?" She smiled at him.

Coulson smiled as she walked away. They'd spend tonight as a family, together.

The pain in his head lessened.