*Summary of last chapter:

Kagome successfully made a soul link with Sesshomaru and delved into his personal nightmare. Within his mind, she witnessed his sexual assault by human men at the age of 7. Kagome pulled Sesshomaru out of his cycle of terrible memories and broke the curse. She soothed him briefly before both succumbed to sleep. The soul link was safely closed.*

Chapter 21

Sesshomaru's eyes snapped open as he jerked to a sitting position.

"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha and Seri simultaneously exclaimed. Inuyasha's face broke into a goofy grin as Seri went about checking his vitals. "Keh! I knew you were too stubborn to die."

Sesshomaru's searching gaze settled when he found Kagome sprawled across his stomach and sitting halfway on the chair next to his bed. Memories of his experiences in the void fell into place. He grappled with the rush of emotions trigged.

Kagome had seen the one part of him he wanted to hide the most. These foul memories had been buried deep, and should have never been revisited. But it was too late. She had seen him at truly his darkest hour. And yet she had held his weak, and thoroughly defiled body. She had cleaned him and whispered sweet words until he almost felt normal again. She had offered him the warmth and comfort that even his parents had failed to give. Sesshomaru didn't know what to make of Kagome.

How was he going to face her now? Would he be able to act so impervious and proud when she knew how defective he really was? Would she still think of him as the great demon lord whose strength was unmatched? Would she still want him as alpha?

'No, that's not right,' his mind rebuked. The question burning deep within his heart wasn't 'Would she still want him as alpha?', but 'Would she still want him?' Sesshomaru's eyes widened in shock at what his mind just provided. When did he start thinking of the miko in such a fashion? Sesshomaru grit his teeth. This realization had come at the worst time. His mind was in too much turmoil.

"She's alright, just sleeping," Seri said.

"Keh, given how much energy she let out, I wouldn't be surprised if she passed out for a month," Inuyasha snorted.

Sesshomaru turned to his brother and arched a questioning brow.

"The stupid wench started building up spiritual power almost as soon as she formed that bond with you. It was starting to get outta hand. We had to evacuate the whole damn castle. It was a good thing too. Not long after, there was a huge explosion of reiki. I swear half the servants pissed their pants, and they were far away by then too," Inuyasha explained.

"When we came back to check on you, both of you guys were glowing white. Freakiest shit I've seen in awhile. I don't know what happened, but she did it," he ended with a wide smile.

"That girl is remarkable. She broke a void demon curse," Seri added. Sesshomaru's eyes widened at that. He knew there were few curses stronger than that, and even fewer people that could break them. "Kagome never gave up on you. We were going to give you a mercy killing, but she wouldn't let us."

Inuyasha chuckled. "The fiery bitch was gonna punch Seri's lights out when she mentioned it," he said appreciatively.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter. You're with us again my lord. That is most important," Seri waved off.

"Aight, let's get her to bed," Inuyasha said, moving to carry Kagome back to her room.

A chilling snarl froze the hanyou in place. His heart was racing, and he darted his eyes up to meet Sesshomaru's bleeding red ones. 'Oh shit.' Inuyasha quickly jumped back. His brother had never seriously threatened him like that. He could only gape at the raging daiyoukai.

Sesshomaru's eyes slowly faded back to gold. He was equally stunned by the instinctual response. The snarl had erupted from his throat before he could stop it. When he had seen Inuyasha approach the miko, his temper snapped like a firecracker. No one was allowed to touch the miko besides him. She was his. The possessiveness had utterly consumed him at that moment, and had his brother not stopped, he would have killed him.

Seri watched the interaction with knowing interest. "Come, Inuyasha. Let them rest," she said, pulling the dumbstruck hanyou with her out the door.

When they were out of hearing range, Sesshomaru gently repositioned Kagome onto his bed. He wondered how she would act around him when she woke up. She would definitely ask for an explanation of what she witnessed, but Sesshomaru wasn't sure if he was ready to verbalize anything. He sighed.

The relived memories had forced him to remember the pain, fear, disgust, helplessness, and abject humiliation that Time had taken so long to dull. Sesshomaru had forgotten what such torture felt like. The recurring nightmares he had of these events did not replay the physical pain. Now, the old wounds were ripped apart again, leaving him raw. Gods, how was he supposed to resume his lordly duties with the honor he so ferverently established when such vivid terrors haunted him? Sesshomaru clenched his fists and shut his eyes, trying to center his wildly fluctuating aura.

As if sensing his distress even in sleep, Kagome curled closer against his side, wrapping an arm around his waist and engulfing him with her pale azure aura. Sesshomaru opened his eyes and studied the woman that calmed him so effortlessly. The color of her aura was definitely much lighter than before, more intense. Her powers were growing.

He hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder in an awkward embrace and relaxed back onto the bed. Hopefully some sleep would alleviate the anxiety that was drowning him.

Kagome pushed through the haze of sleep to find her entire body stiff and sore. 'Yep, definitely reality,' she thought, resigned. Maybe she should sink back into the blissful darkness. 'No,' her mind pushed her. There was definitely something she was forgetting.

"Sesshomaru!" she yelled, jerking up, only to groan and fall back down.

Sesshomaru stood from the chair next to Kagome that he had been keeping vigil on for the past days and walked into her line of sight. He looked down, but remained silent. For once, he was speechless, and not silent by choice. The woman had been driving him insane, and all she had been doing was sleeping. Now that she was awake, his mind was thrown into another flurry of activity. Sesshomaru carefully kept his face blank and his eyes guarded as he leaned closer.

Kagome's gaze locked onto Sesshomaru and the memories she had so desperately tried to block broke through. Tears sprung to the surface as she pushed herself up. "Se-Sesshomaru!" she cried, tackling the immovable demon.

Sesshomaru caught the distraught woman, but was completely unprepared for her heart wrenching sobs and endless stream of tears. He hadn't anticipated her reaction to be so violent. The miko was strange, as usual. Instead of shying away from him, she embraced him with an iron grip.

"Stupid Sesshomaru, I was so worried about you," she wailed. The tears wouldn't stop.

"Hm. You have no right to admonish This Sesshomaru. Foolish miko, you faced an army alone, attempted a ridiculous feat, and slept for a week," Sesshomaru quietly chastised.

In the beginning, he had dreaded her wakening. Their relationship had been irreversibly changed, and he wasn't sure it was for the better. But after a day of watching the comatose girl, he had developed the outrageous fear that she would never wake up. The clashing desires had relentlessly torn at him. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't sleep. In fact, he couldn't even stray from the room without a gnawing restlessness forcing him back. Seven days had never been so long. The miko would surely be the death of him.

Kagome lifted her head in surprise. "A week!" she exclaimed, still hiccupping.

'How infuriating,' Sesshomaru thought as he followed the trail of wetness. She was touseled, red eyed, puffy faced, and leaking mucus from both nostrils. In a word, she was a mess. Yet, Sesshomaru could not find her disgusting. He couldn't even muster a 'mildly uninviting'. All he could think of was how beautifully innocent and endearing she was. All he could do was brush her tears away. 'Ridiculous.'

"Do not cry," he commanded, as if he could scare them off. It didn't work.

Kagome shook her head. "Let me shed the tears you will not," she said in a shuddering whisper.

Sesshomaru said nothing, but clutched her tighter. 'Foolish woman.' It was a distant past, and he was determined not to dwell on it. But this tiny woman was so pained over something that had nothing to do with her.

It was obvious her tears weren't stopping anytime soon, so Sesshomaru sat down on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard. "It is the past," he tried once again to quell the overflow of water from her dark ocean orbs.

"How?" she finally stuttered out. She wanted to know how it was possible for him to succumb to such a fate.

Sesshomaru was silent for a long time. "An heir is often a target in youkai society. One's existence is usually kept secret until he is able to properly defend himself. Three years before my birth, my sire engaged in a war with the Northern dragons. The western lands are plentiful, and dragons are greedy creatures," he began. This was the first time he ever told the story, and he fought to keep his voice steady.

"It was a vicious battle and no end or victor was in sight. Realizing this, Inu no Taisho was compelled to sire an heir. The strongest pure blooded inuyoukai demoness, Lady Mizuki, was immediately mated and I was born."

"They did not love each other?" Kagome asked, befuddled. Her parents had been deeply in love, and most couples in the village had at least some degree of affection for the other. They were spiritual beings afterall, and a forced union would have resulted in the loss of power for both parties.

"Youkai do not need to be close in order to mate. Most youkai of royal bloodlines have mates selected for them based on noble standing and strength," Sesshomaru explained. The concept of a mating for love was absolutely ludicrous. Some may develop affections after the mating, while others like his father had only a marking to show for the coupling. It did not matter as long as each could perform the duties of Lord and Lady.

Kagome's eyes saddened, but she was no longer crying. She patiently waited for Sesshomaru to continue.

"The knowledge of my existence was revealed when the Lady of the East attempted an assassination attempt on my person." Sesshomaru paused when he heard the miko gasp, confusion clearly written on her face.

"Lady Sumiko of the East was gifted with Sight. She was a renowned seer well before she was Lady of the East. It was customary for noble families to call upon her service during birthings to fortell the pup's destiny and name him appropriately. These meetings were usually held in absolute confidence. My father visited Lady Sumiko for this very purpose when I was a month old."

"Death and destruction plague his life. But should he learn the lesson of the heart, his greatness and legacy shall be unrivaled – were the seer's words," Sesshomaru recounted.

"Before my father's departure, she attempted a crazed attack on my life. It was never known why she did so. Even on her trial, she had only ranted about seeing my wretched destiny and the monster I would become," he said with bored indifference. "The Demon Council ruled her insane and ordered to have her put to death for her transgressions. My father had personally delivered the sentence. Since then, my existence had been known to all. My whereabouts were hidden, but the hunt was on."

It was disconcerting for Kagome to think that this crazed demoness who attempted to kill an innocent pup was the same one Akira had so deeply loved and reverently recalled. 'What could have possibly driven Sumiko to try and kill Sesshomaru?' she sadly thought.

"In my seventh year, Inu no Taisho had won a critical battle, and the West had a celebration. I was briefly allowed out under guard, but spirits were high, and within the distraction I was taken by the dragon demons. My life was used to threaten the West back from the edge of victory," Sesshomaru said, his tone heating in bitterness.

"At first, the dragons tried to wheedle information from me. However, I was too young and my father had been absent for most of my life. I had little to offer. They realized this after a two month interrogation and threw me to the human mercenaries they had begun to employ for menial tasks so more demon soldiers would be freed to fight." Sesshomaru abruptly stopped then. His calm façade was already cracking.

"Did the dragons also…?" Kagome tentatively asked.

"No. They are too cold blooded to understand the devastation of such perverse lust," he bit out.

"How long before your father rescued you?" Kagome hoped with all her heart it was a brief period. Everytime the image of young Sesshomaru's bound and desecrated body flashed in her mind, her stomach heaved.

"Inu no Taisho did not rescue this one," Sesshomaru quietly confessed.

Kagome's heart dropped. She turned her pleading eyes to him, as if begging to be told that he had somehow been saved from the fall from grace she had personally witnessed.

"Over a year after I had been handed to the filthy human scum, I came into my poison abilities. Dokkasou melted the enchanted binds, and I killed them." Sesshomaru recalled how he had massacred the pathetic humans, and carved a bloody path from the Northern castle to the battlefield where the war still waged. He had seen nothing but red, lost to his demon blood. His father had found him, transformed into a dog the size of a small horse and attacking anything that crossed his path.

"My father knocked me out of my rage and took me to a cave den close to the Western Citadel. No one but himself, Lady Mizuki, and Seri were allowed to come to me. Any with demon sense would have been able to smell the human filth I was saturated in. Seri tended my wounds and was escorted back. My mothe- Lady Mizuki would not come near me. The smell was too offensive to her sensitive nose. I was isolated in that den for the next decade until the stench of human male faded from my scent," Sesshomaru hurriedly finished his tale. He couldn't keep his emotions at bay much longer.

Meanwhile, Kagome had grown increasingly stiff. 'Gods, a whole year where he had been mercilessly raped…and then ten years of quarantine in a goddamn cave so no one would be privy to what happened to him. Why?' she despaired. 'What mother wouldn't comfort her broken son? How could they all ignore what happened to him, as if pretending it didn't happen would make it true…' her heart roared indignantly in her head.

"What about your father?" she asked in a deathly quiet voice.

"He ended the war by sealing Ryukotsusei. He then trained me during the dead of night, while he ruled the West during the day," Sesshomaru stated matter of factly.

"Why did they have to hide you? Why couldn't they tend to you as you rightly deserved?" she asked in frustration.

"A ruined heir is worthless and represents weakness for the entire kingdom," he answered matter-of-factly.

Kagome sobbed brokenly at his response. He told everything as if it were normal, expected. She gazed at the unreadable demon lord with pained eyes thick with remorse. He had been raised by a mother who didn't know affection, and a father who would always be lord first, and father second. Combined with a dark fortune, countless assassination attempts, and a kidnapping that stole what little childhood he had, it was no wonder Sesshomaru was so cold. And to think he had to relive the worst parts for two whole days…

Sesshomaru noticed the look. He didn't want her pity. More than anything, he would not be able to stomach the sympathy that reflected how truly weak he was. Shoving the girl off, he abruptly stood. "This Sesshomaru does not need your pity, human," he lashed out.

Kagome knew she messed up when Sesshomaru's entire being iced over and he pushed her away. "No!" she screamed, latching onto the stiff demon lord with all her might. "Please, Sesshomaru…please don't go. Please listen to me," she begged. Kagome didn't care how pathetic she sounded. She would do anything to prevent him from shutting her out because she knew this time it would be forever.

Sesshomaru stilled with the miko's weight still laid on his back and hooked around his waist.

Kagome took a shuddering breath and began. "That was not pity, Sesshomaru. I-I hurt. I hurt so much to hear what you've been through. I regret not being able to help you. I wish so badly that all those atrocious acts didn't happen, not out of pity, but because I care for you."

Sesshomaru turned to the miko at her declaration. Kagome reached up from her kneeling position on the bed and cupped his smooth cheek. "I am usually not one to hate, but my blood boils at the thought of those immoral men. Miko status be damned, I will never forgive them for what they have done, and they escape my wrath only because they are already dead. You should not have been left to deal with this trauma on your own. I don't understand how your parents could be so cold. It humbles me to know you had survived it all on your own, that you can still be who you are today," she swiftly profess her feelings.

Sesshomaru growled. "You are misled. I have killed countless men indiscriminately for over two centuries after my disgrace."

Kagome shook her head. Fate had been cruel to Sesshomaru. She couldn't fault him for the death and destruction he'd come to witness and deliver. "You were lost, and I will not blame you for their deaths. I do not like killing or senseless deaths, but you will not convince me you are anything less than magnificent and honorable."

"How can you say that when you saw me subdued and ridden like a common whore?" Sesshomaru shouted. His chest was heaving, and his eyes were tinted pink. He had long lost the honor he so desperately clings to. Everything was a façade. He was the ultimate hippocrite.

"NO!" Kagome yelled even louder. In a softer tone, she asked, "Do you not remember what I said to you in the void? Don't ever feel ashamed about the base actions others have inflicted onto you. The honor you live by now and stress so much is part of your character. It is not an act. I cannot help but think you even more honorable and strong now that I know your past. You will forever be true in my eyes right here," she said, placing her palm over his heart.

Sesshomaru's stony mask crumpled, his eyes expressing just how much her words meant to him. She gave him the comfort he had been denied for so long. She had seen his worst moments, yet could still look into his eyes and swear he was not the monster even a seer had believed him to be. She argued for his honor when even he was not sure of its existence. She didn't scorn the sullied boy he had been. Nor did she expect him to be an infallible lord. She accepted and embraced all of him as is. She was the light to his eternal darkness. "Kagome," he murmured her name tenderly. Sesshomaru vowed in that moment to never let this warmth go.

Kagome gently held him, running her fingers through his silky mane soothingly. "I'm here," she said, as if reading his thoughts. 'I'll always be here…'