Friday Night Smackdown!!!
The music of the brand new World Heavyweight Champion – John Cena – blared as Smackdown kicked off for the night. He came down to the ring to an extremely mixed reaction – with more of the crowd booing him than perhaps ever before. Cena gets into the ring and takes a mic.
Cena – "Woah Woah Woah – why all the agro guys?"
Crowd – "You tapped out, You tapped out!!!!!" Some of the crowd also start a "You screwed Punk" chant.
Cena – "Hey, now I never meant to screw nobody – and okay – I tapped out.."
The crowd cheers this last statement, before – "You screwed Punk, You screwed Punk!!"
Cena – "Okay, okay – Maybe I was a LITTLE lucky last night..."
The crowd boos this statement.
Cole – "Wow are the crowd hot tonight for our new champion!!"
JBL – "Yeah, and he deserves it too – Punk had the title won only for the referee!"
Cole – "What? Last Sunday you were saying 'tough luck' to CM Punk – why the sudden change of heart?"
JBL – "Hey! Don't go putting words in my mouth Cole!"
Cena – "Anyways – can we just move on from No Mercy? I won the title – in one of the most brutal main events in recent Smackdown history – So what if I got a little lucky? The fact is – THE CHAMP IS HERE!!!"
The crowd goes insane with a mixed reaction, followed by – "You tapped out/You screwed Punk!"
Cena – "Yadda, yadda yadda... you're really not gonna let this go, huh?"
Crowd – "You tapped out/You screwed Punk!"
Cena – "I guess not. Well to be honest that's not why I'm here... This" – Cena gestures to the TitanTron – "Is why I'm out here."
Footage shows of Shawn Michaels challenging Cena to a match at Cyber Sunday, three nights ago on ECW.
Cena – "Well, to your challenge, Mr. Michaels – I can wholeheartedly say..."
"I'm Back!!!! And Badder Than Ever..."
Eric Bischoff's music hit and he made his way to the ring, microphone in hand.
Bischoff – "Stop right there Cena – I know exactly what you're about to do – you're gonna accept the match, aren't you?"
Cena – "Well jeez, Mr. Bischoff – way to ruin the surprise.."
Bischoff – "Cena, this is not a laughing matter – As Smackdown General Manager – I urge you not to accept this challenge."
The crowd boos this request.
Cena – "What the hell, Bischoff? I thought you came back to the WWE – after I got rid of you all those months ago – with a new motto – 'Controversy Creates Cash' – right? Well, seeing as fighting the leader of the reformed NWO – the most controversial group in wrestling history – seems just a little controversial... I have to wonder – what the hell has got your panties in a twist now?"
(Laughter from the crowd)
Bischoff – "Yeah, laugh it up everyone – Cena – I don't want Smackdown involved with the NWO – while they may have been the most dominant group ever – they also caused the eventual downfall of WCW!! I don't want that kind of poison anywhere near MY show!!"
Cena – "Oh Bischoff.. you crack me up!! Weren't you like a member of the NWO?? And so what if they come near Smackdown – Our Superstars will just kick their asses right out of the building!"
Bischoff – "Cena – I'm telling you again – do not accept this challenge!! In fact, as your General Manager, I forbid you from accepting this challenge!!"
Cena – "Well, in that case – I guess I'll just leave you to it..." The crowd boos this decision.
Bischoff – "Thank you – and as a token of my gratitude – you have the night off. Call it a... scouting night, for tonight's main event is No Disqualification Fatal Four Way match – for the No. 1 Contendership for the World Heavyweight Title!! This match will feature the two men who were unsuccessful at No Mercy in the Triple Threat Match – CM Punk (the crowd roars) and Umaga – as well as Rob Van Dam – and Batista!!!!"
Cole – "Wow, JBL – What a main event!"
Bischoff extends his hand to Cena, Cena lifts the mic – "Well Bischoff, thanks for the night off – but you wanna know something else?"
Bischoff – "What, John?"
Cena – "About orders – I don't like them!!"
Cena grabs Bischoff – F-U!!!! The crowd cheers emphatically!
Cena – "Sorry to keep ya waiting Shawn – about your match – seeing as it's not a Smackdown PPV, and Bischoff has no authority over it whatsoever – I officially ACCEPT your challenge for Cyber Sunday – and may the best man win. But before I go, I'd like to extend a little challenge of my own – I hereby challenge one of the other two members of the NWO to face The Champ, John Cena – next week, here on Smackdown!!!!!!!!"
Cena's music hit and he left to a considerably better ovation than what he came down to. He posed on the stage with the World Title as Smackdown went to a break.
Commercial Break
We came back from the break to Kevin Thorn and Ariel coming to the ring. Thorn did not look happy.
Chimel – "The following contest is scheduled for one fall – and is for the United States Championship!! Introducing first – accompanied by Ariel – he is the United States Champion – Kevin Thorn!!"
Cole – "The word we're getting from backstage folks, is that Thorn doesn't even know who his opponent is tonight!"
JBL – "That explains why he isn't too happy, so – although are vampires ever happy Cole??"
"I'm The Boogeyman – And I'm coming to Get YA!!!!"
A look of utter horror appeared on the vampire's face – The Boogeyman was back!!
Cole – "Oh my god – JBL – He's Back!"
JBL – "Not this sick freak – I can't decide who is worse – the vampire or the worm eater!!"
The Boogeyman came out to his usual entrance – smashing his clock across his own head, and holding his staff with the red mist coming from it. He did his strange half – walk, half-dance to the ring, and Thorn quickly got out of the ring as Boogeyman got in. Even the ref backed up as Boogeyman continued with his writhing dance in the ring.
Thorn reluctantly got into the ring and the ref held the US Title between the two men, and rang the bell. Boogeyman again did his strange dance towards Thorn, and suddenly Thorn just shook his head and grabbed the US Title from the ref – and jumped out of the ring. He called to Ariel, and together they walked up the ramp as the referee reached a five count – SIX – SEVEN – EIGHT – NINE – TEN!!!
Chimel – "Here is your winner, by count-out – The Boogeyman!! However, still the United States Champion – Kevin Thorn!"
Thorn shook his head as Boogeyman did his strange dance again – but suddenly pointed upwards from where Thorn and Ariel were standing. Thorn looked up – and was suddenly covered by thousands of worms – to the delight of the crowd!!
The Boogeyman then danced up the ramp as a worm-covered Thorn and Ariel made a hasty retreat backstage.
Boogeyman stopped to eat worms on the stage and pose for the crowd as Smackdown went to its second break of the night.
Commercial Break
Johnny Nitro's Music hit after the break and he and Melina came to the ring in their usual fashion – minus Chris Masters this week however.
Cole – "JBL – you were at ECW on Tuesday – how does it look for Smackdown's former tag champs – and representatives at Cyber Sunday – MNM??"
JBL – "I think what this team needs is a week to cool off after what went down at No Mercy – but it looks like Nitro's in action tonight so no chance of that!!!"
Jeff Hardy's music hit next, and he came to the ring with one half of the tag team titles around his waist.
The ref rang the bell and got this match under way!
A fast paced encounter was this match, going about twelve minutes – before Masters appeared and cost Nitro the match via DQ when he nailed Hardy with the title belt – while the ref was looking. Matt came out to help his brother to the back as Masters and Nitro again argued in the ring. This time however – Nitro slapped Masters in the face and he and Melina walked out. An angry Masters and Nitro stared at each other, with Masters in the ring and Nitro on the ramp.
The next match up was the returning Paul Birchill VS Scotty Too Hotty!
This match did not go as long – with Burchill hitting the C4 on Scotty for the win in about five minutes.
After the match, Burchill got on the mic and challenged Kevin Thorn to 'be a man' and put his US Title on the line – next week on Smackdown!
Commercial Break
Cole – "Ladies and gentlemen the word we've just received is that the NWO have ACCEPTED John Cena's match request for next week on Smackdown – and it will be John Cena VS Chris Benoit of the NWO as Smackdown's Main Event next week."
JBL – "I guess this means the NWO are officially coming to Smackdown next week then... does John Cena know what he's letting himself in for??"
Chimel – "The following contest is the No Disqualification, Fatal Four Way Match – to the determine the No. 1 Contender for the World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first..."
Rob Van Dam was the first man out – and he was brandishing a steel chair. He completely ignored the fans, and disregarded his usual pre-match antics. He simply came to the ring, and silently awaited his opponents.
Next out was CM Punk – he acknowledged the huge ovation from the crowd and made his way to the ring – for Van Dam to swing a chair at him as he tried to enter the ring! Punk quickly dodged and jumped off the apron, with a confused look on his face. Van Dam beckoned him to come in the ring – Punk shrugged, grabbed a chair from ringside and got in the ring – this time Van Dam thought twice before attacking him.
Batista was next – to a huge ovation also, and he came to the ring and grabbed a baseball bat from under the ring before getting in himself.
JBL – "Van Dam is bringing his stupid ECW frame of mind into a Smackdown ring!"
Umaga was last out – on his own for some strange reason – and he charged the ring, weaponless and went straight for CM Punk!! The referee rang the bell to start the match!
Umaga charged Punk – who quickly ducked the Samoan and smashed his chair of Umaga's skull – to no effect. Punk swung the chair again – Umaga caught it – and launched Punk and the chair over the top rope to the floor!!
Screaming loudly, Umaga followed Punk to the outside – as Batista quickly dispossessed Van Dam of his chair with shot to the stomach by the baseball bat. Batista then dropped his weapon and clotheslined Van Dam to the mat!
On the outside, Umaga had ripped apart the announce table, and ripped out on of the monitors – he proceeded to crack Punk across the skull with it, busting him wide open!
Umaga climbed into the ring, monitor in hand – and delivered a shot to Batista's mid-section before cracking Van Dam in the head with it – sending Van Dam through the second rope to the floor, bleeding also. Umaga turned around, looking to nail Batista – he got caught with a huge Spinebuster!!! Batista picked up the monitor and broke it in half over the Samoan savage's head!!! Thumbs up - Thumbs Down!!
Cole – "He can't be serious – a Batista Bomb on a 350+ pounder?? No way!!"
That question was not answered as a bleeding Punk flew off the top turnbuckle with a crossbody – Batista caught him – beautiful powerslam from Batista!!! Batista gets to his feet – into a flying kick from the top rope by Van Dam!! 1 – 2 – Batista kicks out!!
Van Dam gets to his feet, and sees the Samoan lying motionless by the ropes – he grabs a chair – Rolling Thunder on the chair to Umaga!!!!!! Van Dam goes for the cover – 1 – 2 - Punk makes the save!
Van Dam and Punk are on their feet now, brawling around the ring. Punk ducks one of Van Dam's punches, and quickly nails an uranage!! 1-2-Batista drags Punk off Van Dam and throws him out of the ring!!
Batista has the chair now – Boom!! He nails the bloody Van Dam straight between the eyes – sending him through the ropes to the floor! Umaga is up – he crashes into Batista from behind and grabs the chair – Boom! – Umaga smashes the chair across Batista's face! Umaga then throws Batista into the corner, backs up and crushes Batista's head against the bottom turnbuckle with all his weight. Umaga picks up the chair again – and is hit by a shining wizard from Punk who was on the top rope!!! Umaga stumbles backwards – and falls over!! Punk quickly applies the Anaconda Vice to the Samoan – will he tap??
Umaga is refusing to give up, and screaming in agony – but he can't break the hold!! Hang on – Van Dam is back up – he leaps to the top rope – Five Star Frogsplash to Punk and Umaga!! Punk collapses and releases the hold on Umaga – both men are out!!
Van Dam is pain too – he gets to his feet and slowly makes his way to get the cover – until Batista breaks his bat in half across Van Dam's back!!! – Batista Bomb!!!!
1 – 2 – 3!!! Batista does it!!
Chimel – Here is your winner – BATISTA!!!
Batista's music plays as he flops exhaustedly from the ring – Batista is the number 1 contender for John Cena's World Heavyweight Title!!! Batista celebrates with the crowd and gestures to the other three superstars – who are out in the ring – as Smackdown goes off the air!!