Fooling Ourselves

Chapter 21: Merry Christmas

That night, long after everyone else had gone to bed, Olivia lay awake, listening to the even breathing of the children through the baby monitor. Elliot lay beside her, his arms wrapped around her, protecting her as best he could from the evil of the world. She thought that he had long since fallen asleep so she was surprised when the silence was broken by a concerned whisper.

"Can't sleep?" he asked, lifting his hand and bringing it to rest on her cheek.

She jumped momentarily and then relaxed. She nodded sadly "Not really," she replied.

He nodded his understanding and pulled her closer "I know the feeling," he said, moving the hand that had been resting on her cheek to the back of her head.

She lifted her head from the pillow and pressed her lips to his "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?" he asked. She had already thanked him several times for setting all of this up when in fact, he couldn't take all the credit.

"Just being here," she replied, laying her head back down and snuggling as close to him as she could.

"Anytime," he smiled and pressed his lips to the top of her head as she burrowed her way deep into his chest.

She smiled as she listened to the rhythmic beating of his heart "What did I do right in my life do deserve you?" she asked quietly.

Elliot kissed the top of her head again "Too many things to count," he replied "Too many things to count."

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The weeks passed quickly, far too quickly for Olivia's liking, and soon it was Christmas Eve. Elliot, Munch and Fin along with Simon, who although he wasn't supposed to be putting any unnecessary strain on himself had tagged along anyway, had traipsed into the woods and come back with a tree. Cragen drove into town and bought a string of lights. And Olivia, Lucy and the children made paper decorations. It was the most fun Olivia could ever remember having in preparation for any holiday.

Elliot walked into the kitchen to see Maureen and Kathleen rummaging around in drawers and cabinets and Olivia, looking a little out of place, standing by an electric mixer with a cookbook open right beside it. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, making sure his two oldest children weren't looking before he kissed her. "Whatcha doing?" he asked, looking down at the title of the recipe that the book was open to.

"Freaking out," she replied, looking down into the contents of the mixer "Cookies shouldn't be this hard."

He kissed her again "You'll do fine," he reassured her.

"Thanks," she sighed as Zack banged a toy rolling pin against the kitchen table "I hope you're right."

Elliot smiled at Zack, walking over and picking him up from his high chair "Are you being helpful?" he asked, tickling the baby. Zack laughed and waved the little rolling pin around in the air in response. Elliot put him back in the highchair and returned to Olivia's side "I've gotta go," he told her "If I'm not back by dinner just save me something."

Olivia looked at him in confusion "What are you talking about?" she asked "Where are you going?"

"Downing called," he told her and the expression on her face quickly turned sour. "They think they know where Gitano is."

"You're not supposed to be working," she told him firmly, fear beginning to course through her as she remembered another man who only a little more than a month ago had told her that he was leaving to catch a criminal and had never come back. Losing Dean had hurt but if she lost Elliot, it would destroy her. She wrapped her arms around him, clutching him to her as if the mere act of letting go was too painful for her "You can't go," she whispered.

He gently took her hands in his "I'll be fine," he told her and with one last kiss, he walked out of the kitchen.

Olivia completely forgot about the cookies that she had been set on making and ran after him. She caught up with him just as he was unlocking the door to his car and she practically flung herself into his arms "You don't have to go," she pleaded with him "It doesn't matter who brings him down. Just stay," she was crying now, horrible images of shootouts gone wrong and Elliot lying dead on the pavement assaulting her mind.

He took her face in his hands and looked deep into her eyes "I want to kill him for what he did," he told her plainly.

She nodded "So do I Elliot but… it… it isn't worth losing you," she dropped her gaze "Please, tell Downing that you can't get there in time or something," she whispered.

Elliot pulled her into a tight embrace. He wanted to make Gitano pay for hurting his kids and the psychological damage he had inflicted on Olivia but as he stood there, holding her, he realized that he was only deepening that emotional wound. He reached up and stroked her hair "Downing isn't expecting me," he told her softly "It was just a courtesy call." When he had heard Downing's voice on the other end of the phone, telling him that they knew where Gitano was and that they'd have him in custody in a matter of minutes, he had wanted nothing less than the satisfaction of feeling that monster's last breath leave his body. Now he began to realize that revenge just wasn't worth all the pain he had caused her in just the last few minutes.

Olivia gave a shuddering sob, releasing all her fear and nervous energy as relief rushed over her "Thank you," she whispered as she held him and he held her.

They stood like that for some time before Olivia felt something "What the…?" she asked as she pulled back just a bit and looked around.

Elliot looked around as well "It's snowing," he observed.

Olivia smiled "It's beautiful," she whispered.

Elliot kissed her as the flakes fell around them. "Aren't you cold?" he finally asked. He noticed that she had run out of the house without a jacket.

"A little," she admitted as she rested in his arms "But it's not that bad."

"Come on," he smiled lightly at her "Let's get you inside." The two of them started to walk back inside together.

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"Are you sure?" Elliot asked for the third time as he climbed on the bed beside her "I mean you've been through a lot in the past month and I don't want to…"

"Shhhhhh," she cupped his face in her hands and placed her lips over his "Believe me when I say that I am totally sure about this.

"Really?" he asked as he fumbled with the buttons of his shirt.

She smiled and undid the buttons for him "Yeah," she said as she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and lifted her own over her head, throwing them both into the far corner of the master bedroom.

Elliot grinned widely as he laid her gently down beneath him. He slid her jeans down past her hips as her fingers worked nimbly to free him from his own pants.

Pretty soon, their clothing lay haphazardly around the room and the two of them lay tangled in a passionate heap on the bed. Hands explored and caressed places that the other had only dreamed about touching until that moment.

They had just finished and collapsed beside one another when there was a frantic knocking at the door. The two of them looked at each other out of sheer terror for a moment "Did you lock it?" Olivia asked in a whisper.

Elliot nodded as he got up and began groaping for his clothing, tossing Olivia's clothes to her as he came upon them "I wonder what's up?" he asked no one in particular.

"Hey you two," it was Cragen's voice and Olivia could feel her cheeks burning. She imagined that this was something close to what it was like to be caught with your boyfriend in your parents' bed.

They finished getting dressed and Elliot opened the door. Olivia remained on the bed, trying to hide her face and with it, the embarrassment that she couldn't seem to mask.

"Downing's here," Cragen told them.

"Why the housecall?" Elliot mused.

"He said it's about Gitano," Cragen explained and suddenly Olivia didn't care whether or not she looked embarrassed.

She shot up like a bolt of lightning "What about Gitano?" she asked hurriedly.

"He didn't say," Cragen told them "He wants to speak with both of you."

Elliot and Olivia nodded. Olivia grabbed the baby monitor and slipped it into her pocket as she followed Elliot and Cragen downstairs.

Downing sat in one of the arm chairs facing the stairs. He rose when he saw Olivia and Elliot enter. He shook both their hands before taking his seat once again. Elliot took a seat on the couch opposite him and Olivia sat on Elliot's right. Cragen, who decided that the three should be allowed to talk in private, went into the kitchen to see if there were any cookies left that hadn't been set aside for Santa Claus.

Downing cleared his throat "How are the two of you holding up?" he asked.

"Fine," Elliot answered. Both he and Olivia were on edge and eager to learn what it was that Downing had driven all this way to tell them.

"I just wanted to let you know that our plan to capture Gitano didn't go as planned," Downing told them.

Olivia nearly jumped, trying to keep her composure "What?" she asked.

Elliot dropped his arm around her shoulders and held on to her for dear life "What do you mean?" he asked, almost angrily.

Downing cleared his throat again "He was ready for us," he said sadly "We lost three good cops," he looked down, trying to keep his tears in before he looked back up at them with something close to a smile trying to form on his lips "But you don't have to worry about him ever again. He's dead."

Both Olivia and Elliot sighed "Really?" they asked at the same time. They had thought he'd been dead before but they'd been wrong.

"I saw his body myself," Downing assured "I've asked Warner to hold the body until the two of you get a chance to see it for yourselves."

Olivia relaxed slightly "No mistakes this time," she whispered.

"Leaving nothing to chance, I assure you," Downing told them both. He settled himself in the chair and cleared his throat again "The funerals for the officers who were killed are going to be next week if you'd like to be there."

Olivia picked up Elliot's hand and squeezed it tight, glad that he had decided not to go "We'll be there," she promised solemnly.

Downing stood up and looked at his watch "I've gotta get home," he told them "If I'm lucky, I can catch my kids before they fall asleep."

"Thank you for coming to tell us in person," Olivia said as she and Elliot walked him to the door.

Downing turned to her and smiled slightly "I heard you told the FBI to take a hike," he almost laughed.

"Yeah," Olivia said, looking away for a moment "I don't think I can go back there."

"So, you'll be looking for a new job soon?" he asked.

She nodded "I guess so. Are you offering Captain?" Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Elliot give her a questioning look.

Downing pulled one of his cards from his wallet "Give me a call when you're ready. I'm sure we can find something for you," he said.

Olivia's mouth dropped. She had been joking. She took the card and her gaze dropped "Thank you sir… but," she turned and looked in Elliot's direction "I'm not sure it would be appropriate considering…"

"Oh," Downing said in understanding "Give me a call anyway," he told her "I'm sure we can work something out."

"Thank you," Olivia smiled as Downing walked out into the snow. She turned to Elliot and her smile grew wider. She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around him "I just got a job offer," she beamed.

"I thought you were done chasing bad guys?" he asked a bit skeptically. He loved her and he had loved having her as his partner but he didn't think they could go back to the way things had been now that they were… he wasn't quite sure if what they were right now even had a name. Maybe by Christmas it would but…

"I'd be happy just to be a secretary," she told him. She was thrilled to be offered a chance to work anywhere near Elliot. She just needed to know he was safe and if she worked in the precinct, she would be in the loop again.

Elliot smiled "You'd better give him a call after Christmas," he told her, sliding a hand up the front of her shirt and tickling her. At that moment, the grandfather clock in the living room struck midnight. Elliot reached into his back pocket, hoping that it was still there, it was.

"Hey," Olivia smiled, kissing his lips softly "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Elliot returned the kiss before dropping to his knee in front of her and taking her left hand in his.

"Elliot," Olivia said softly. Her voice sounded so faint in her ears.

"Liv, I know this is fast. It's probably too soon and I'm sorry but I love you and I can't imagine the rest of my life without you. I've gone over this in my mind a hundred times and I can't put it off," he pulled out the small jewelry box and popped it open "Will you marry me?" he looked up at her with eyes fully of apprehension. Maybe it had been to soon to ask? But two and a half years of separation had made him realize that he never wanted to be separated from her again. His mind raced and what was no more than a few seconds seemed like hours to him.

Olivia smiled, kneeling down and wrapping her arms around him "Do you even have to ask?" she smiled as her eyes welled up.

The hallway at the top of the staircase erupted with applause. Elliot and Olivia stood up and turned the corner to see everyone, with the exception of Rose and Zack who were still sleeping soundly in the nursery, standing at the top of the stairs, clapping.

"How…?" Olivia trailed off.

"We heard that Downing was here," Munch replied.

"You've been eves dropping?" Elliot asked.

"Well… yes," Lucy began "But at first it was purely for our own piece of mind."

"But we sort of thought we'd stick around for the long run," Simon added.

Elliot looked accusingly as Simon "You told them," he said, trying not to smile.

Simon held his hands up "I told them you were going to ask. None of us knew she was gonna say yes."

"Oh yes we did," Casey grinned.

Olivia collapsed into Elliot's arms "We can kill them tomorrow," she laughed and yawned at the same time "Right now, I'm exhausted." She and Elliot walked up the stairs and pushed their way through the crowd of hugs and high fives to get back to the bedroom.

The two of them collapsed on the bed side by side. Elliot wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply "Merry Christmas," he whispered when they broke apart for air.

She smiled up at him "Best Christmas ever,"

THE END

A/N: Well, our journey has come to an end. I hope that there are no major issues with how I ended the story. I hope I have satisfied my loyal readers. Many thanks to all those who have reviewed and please, if you have time, I would love to hear what you thought of this last chapter of what was a summer long labor of love. Hugs and kisses to you all

Elliot and Olivia for eternity

Merry Shipper Christmas

Proud EO shipper

3 Kelly