So this was quicker right!? First, apologies – I accidentally deleted chapter 20 and then reposted it right away so if you got 2 notifications that is my fault. Sorry!
As always thanks for the reviews, favs and follows – so appreciate the encouragement. Thanks to the guest who pointed out the misspelling of Georgiana's name. Not sure what the sigh in your post was meant to communicate but I do appreciate the correction! I am happy to receive constructive criticism; it helps me be a better writer. Something as simple as a misspelling or as complicated as a plot hole - please let me know if you see one! Like I think I changed Darcy's eye color from blue to brown possibly. So, that's not good. Not that Darcy's eyes are the plot . . or are they? I also realized that I have been occasionally spelling Lizzy with an "ie" while Ms. Austen used a "y" (5 minutes after I drafted this note a helpful reviewer pointed this very thing out – I love you guys, this is exactly the kind of help I need because 9x out of 10 I am not coming up with this on my own!). I will go back and correct eventually but for now will just try and do the right thing going forward. Hope you enjoy!
"It is of course very important to have the approval of your big sister." Jane said with a smile. "And, Lizzy while I believe your worries are completely unfounded, you know there is a simple way to determine the truth of the matter."
"And that is?" Elizabeth asked, eager for a solution.
"Speak with him, Lizzy." Jane said with a laugh at her normally perceptive sister's inability to see such an obvious answer.
Elizabeth agreed with Jane, after thinking about it all night, that a talk with Mr. Darcy was the only way to proceed. Even a day of the kind of uncertainty his words and Lady Eleanor's presence had caused was enough to convince her that she would rather know her fate than continue to live with all of the what ifs her rather fertile imagination seemed capable of creating. However, in this case resolve proved insufficient. Jane's arrival marked a significant change in Elizabeth's daily routine. She no longer had a standing arrangement to see Georgiana each day. In addition, the demands of shopping for Jane's wedding clothes and entertaining the Bingley family took up much of their time. Consequently, a week after her resolution had been formed Elizabeth still had not encountered Mr. Darcy.
"A morning at home, whatever shall we do with ourselves." Mrs. Gardiner exclaimed as she took up her needlework and sat down with her nieces in the parlor.
"Oh, Aunt I am sorry if you have been fatigued or inconvenienced by all of the activity surrounding my presence. I do wish mother's list regarding my wardrobe was not so long." Jane said with genuine concern.
"My dear, you must know I am teasing. I have enjoyed every moment of your time here." Madeline said with a fond smile.
"Perhaps not every moment." Elizabeth said with a smile of her own, thinking of dinner the previous evening. Caroline Bingley had been especially imperious attempting to show off her own superior manners and education by endeavoring to make the Gardiners feel and look inferior which of course only did the reverse. By the time Miss Bingley and the Hearsts left Elizabeth, the Gardiners and even poor Jane were wishing they had never come at all. Mr. Bingley went so far as to apologize to the entire family.
"Charles assured me he will speak to her." Jane said quietly.
"And did he impart this information during your rather lengthy and private leave taking?" Elizabeth asked.
Jane blushed and laughed clearly willing to be teased away from thoughts of her increasingly unpleasant soon to be sisters.
"Yes it was." She answered boldly, but quickly ducked her head at the raised brow of her aunt. The three ladies were still laughing when callers were announced.
"Miss Georgiana Darcy, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy and Lady Eleanor Fischer." Mrs. Ferris, the plump and congenial housekeeper announced as she bustled off with their outerwear.
Although struck with a myriad of emotions as a result of the three guests now making their way into her aunt's parlor Elizabeth felt herself equal to the task, which fell to her, of making the necessary introductions. Once this office was performed and the appropriate delight was declared the parties undertook to find seats which would allow them to become better acquainted. Georgiana announced that she would sit by Miss Bennet as she was wild to hear about the shopping she had done since her arrival and to anticipate their planned excursion to Georgiana's own modiste the following week. With a meaningful look at Darcy Lady Eleanor took a seat by Mrs. Gardiner. This left that gentleman and Elizabeth, who looked at one another for a long moment before the former indicated a pair of chairs quite apart from the others and asked Elizabeth to join him. She did. All the while assuring herself she would not shrink from the task she set for herself earlier in the week.
Initially they spoke of the weather, it had been particularly warm for that time of year. Then of their mutual acquaintances. The colonel was well, but had been called to his regiment in the south, they expected him to return for the holidays. The holidays, these too were canvassed. Jane and Elizabeth would return to Longbourn, Darcy and Georgiana would stay and celebrate with their family in town. Finally, Elizabeth summoned her courage and resolved to broach the subject. She had just determined to make a declaration rather than ask a question when Mrs. Ferris entered the room and declared herself in possession of an express from Longbourn for Mrs. Gardiner.
Elizabeth was seized with dread. An express likely brought ill news. She rose from her seat, looking at her aunt with concern. Madeline waved her hand at the room and spoke with an air of calmness.
"Please do not concern yourselves. It is from my sister, Mrs. Bennet who might consider a cold enough of an emergency to warrant an express. If you will excuse me." With a pointed look at her nieces, which they knew meant to entertain their guests, she left the room. Jane, unable to do anything, but comply with her aunt's unspoken command began a conversation with Lady Eleanor. Georgiana had risen and she now came to Elizabeth's side. Knowing her friend wanted to offer comfort in the event it was needed Elizabeth gave her a smile of reassurance and thanks. Mr. Darcy rose and allowed his sister to sit beside Elizabeth. Moments later Mrs. Gardiner reentered with an exasperated look on her normally serene countenance.
"As I know you are all trying very hard not to appear as if you are quite anxious I will relieve you at once. I am sure Jane and Elizabeth will not mind my sharing the contents of this particular letter." She said. "It seems their younger sister Mary is engaged to be married to their cousin Mr. Collins."
Everyone immediately expressed their delight and congratulations. It was Lady Eleanor, the person least familiar with the disposition of Mrs. Bennet and therefore unable to guess, who posed the question a few moments later.
"Is there a reason this news was sent via express, which was as likely as not to cause alarm?" she asked. "Perhaps, your mother simply wished to pass on the good news as quickly as possible?"
Mrs. Gardiner smiled at this. "No, Mrs. Bennet did have urgent business in mind." She offered.
"I did not mean to pry." Lady Eleanor said quickly.
"Of course not, dear. We would not have thought it." Mrs. Gardiner assured her.
"I believe I can guess what business my mother deemed sufficiently urgent to warrant an express." Elizabeth said. "I only wonder at my father allowing it."
"Do not keep us in suspense, Lizzy!" Georgiana demanded and Elizabeth had to laugh at her friend. How far the shy girl had come since the first days of their acquaintance.
"Wedding clothes." Jane and Elizabeth said together.
"Indeed," Mrs. Gardiner confirmed. "She writes to ensure we procure the necessities on Mary's behalf as she is to married from Longbourn within the month and does not wish to be troubled by it. Of course your mother insists she be outfitted properly and so she needed to be sure we received the letter in time to place orders that you might return with them next week."
"An absolute necessity." Elizabeth said. They all laughed.
Georgiana was eager to catch her friend up on all she had missed for the past week and soon the two were deep in conversation on books read and visits had. Elizabeth noted that while at first Darcy seemed to attend everything they were saying he soon drifted to the other side of the room where her aunt and Lady Eleanor had resumed their conversation which now included Jane.
"I am only hoping the wedding will take place within the year." Georgiana was saying. Elizabeth realized she had allowed herself to be distracted by Darcy and Lady Eleanor.
"My apologies, Georgiana." She said. "Of what were you speaking?"
"Of Lady Eleanor joining our family." She said with a broad smile. "It has not yet been announced but William said I could tell you and I was anxious to share my joy. I am so happy for them."
Elizabeth nodded and attempted some sound of assent to show Georgiana she was listening and conceal the fact that this news had just shattered her heart. It was no use however; she could feel her control slipping in a mere moment. Mumbling an excuse about needing air she escaped quietly and quickly out the nearest door.
The small garden behind the Gardiner's home had been brought to life by her aunt's love of flowers and trees. It had one small path and a cozy bench under a sizable oak. One of its best features was that it abutted the park giving it the feel of a large open space even while it still had places where Elizabeth felt she could hide away when she needed to be alone. As she did now. Tucking herself onto the bench under the oak, its long branches shielding her from view of the house, she placed her face in her hands.
"It is my fault."
"I do not know to what you refer, but I cannot imagine that to be the case." Came a beloved, yet now very unwelcome voice.
"Mr. Darcy." Elizabeth said, rising quickly. Of course he had followed her here. Now that she considered it she wondered why she ever thought he might not. Her distress was obvious and regardless of all else she knew he cared for her.
"You are unwell." It was both a statement and a question. "When I asked Georgie what had precipitated your departure Jane insisted I come talk to you and explain. I must confess I don't entirely understand, but she said I must be very clear."
They stood facing one another, assessing, waiting. Elizabeth took a steadying breath and answered.
"I confess that I would like some clarity and honesty from you, Mr. Darcy." She began. "I am finding the revelations of today difficult to understand . . . difficult to . . .bear."
"Elizabeth I would do anything to alleviate your distress," he said reaching a hand out to her, but she pulled back and he did not press. "Perhaps we might begin by being clear on what those revelations are." He said his brow creasing.
"What those revelations are!" she burst out, both hands in the air. "You just said Georgiana told you of what we spoke. You know. You know I know. And yet you affect astonishment that I am caught off guard. That I am confused. That I am . . hurt."
Her words were forceful, angry. Until the last, which was pressed from her lips most unwillingly. It came out softly, gently. She looked down as she said it and a tear slipped down her cheek.
"Elizabeth." Darcy said reaching out and although it made no sense to accept comfort from the very person who caused her pain Elizabeth allowed herself to be drawn into his arms. For the first and last time, she allowed it. It felt marvelous to have his strength surround her, just for a moment. "Please help me understand, my love. I cannot bear to see you hurting."
After a moment he moved back slightly, though keeping her within his embrace, and asked again, "please, Elizabeth will you tell me why the prospect of Stephen marrying Lady Eleanor has you so upset? Is it because things between us are so unsettled? Have I again done something to offend you? I am sorry if this is the case. I will . ..
What ever else Darcy said was lost on Elizabeth as she struggled to understand the beginning of his speech. Lady Eleanor and the Colonel! Replaying what Georgiana had said and the interactions between Lady Eleanor and Darcy . . . it all fit and Elizabeth felt a deep sense of shame for having doubted him, but this was nothing to the joy she felt at having been wrong. When she emerged from these reflections Darcy had finished speaking and was regarding her with concern and apprehension.
"I am sorry." She said sincerely, laying her head once again on his chest then looking up confessed, "I misunderstood, Georgiana spoke only of her joining the family and a wedding."
She watched as understanding dawned in Darcy's bright blue eyes. Then saw relieved comprehension turn to wounded anger.
"Elizabeth, how could you." He sounded genuinely hurt. Then quickly he added, "of course I have given you very little reason to trust me."
"No, no it was not that." Elizabeth rushed to explain. "I thought I had waited too long. That you, believing me indifferent, had turned to a lady you had long known and held in high esteem. I thought it was too soon after all that had passed between us, but I did not blame you. I only wished I had told you earlier."
"Told me what?" He asked when she did not continue, his eyes alight with hope and the same longing she had only glimpsed that day on the road to Longbourn that now seemed so long ago. Elizabeth felt all the import of the moment. She knew she held their future in her hands and she was not at all afraid anymore.
"Could we sit?" she asked indicating the bench. When Darcy had seated himself she joined him and looked at him for a long moment before she began. It was incredible to her that this man loved her and that despite all their missteps and misunderstandings they had arrived here at last.
"Fitzwilliam," she began, taking his hands in hers. "Your friendship showed me what it meant to have someone listen, understand and challenge me in ways I had never thought possible. I never knew that I would enjoy and even look forward to be disagreed with and proven wrong with such regularity." She smiled.
"I can hardly think of an instance where I prevailed in our arguments, but I will not stop you here to belabor the point as I am more than anxious for you to continue." Darcy said and Elizabeth felt some guilt at hearing the tension in his voice alongside the humor.
"As I told in you in the garden at Longbourn," he looked down at these words, but she pulled at his hands and he met her eyes again. "As I told you, I assured myself friendship was all I sought, but before I even knew what I had done I was in love with you and there was nothing I could do about it. We will not canvass that discussion anymore, you know the hurt it caused me, but it was also part of the journey that led us here so I cannot now regret it. In the park your words filled me with hope, but I was also scared and so I hesitated. As more time went by and I did not see you I found myself missing you terribly. Missing my friend. I wanted to be near you just to know that you were well, to talk to you about the book I was reading, to argue with you about the debate in parliament – I knew we would disagree – to show you a feather I found in the park and to hear what you had been doing. In short, I wanted to share with you everything that was significant and insignificant in your life and mine. Not just today and tomorrow but for the rest of our lives." She stopped and smiled sheepishly. "I realize have skipped over something you may consider important. I love you, Fitzwilliam Darcy, deeply and irrevocably and my answer is yes."
"Yes?" He repeated cautiously. "As this has been a day of misunderstandings could we be absolutely certain as to question you are answering?"
"Yes I will marry you." She said with brilliant smile. "If you are still interested in such an arrangement."
"If I am still . . . "Darcy sputtered. "Elizabeth, are you in earnest? You are certain?"
"Do you wish to change my mind?" She challenged.
"No, indeed I do not." He declared. "I only want to be sure you are truly certain this is what you want. I am what you want. Elizabeth, I failed you from the first with my arrogance my selfishness . . ."
"And I failed you at the second with my unwillingness to trust and fearfulness." She countered. "Neither of us performed perfectly during this very unusual courtship. But none of that matters now. What matters is that we are here, now. What matters is where we will be tomorrow."
"You are a very wise woman." Darcy said softly taking his hands from hers and placing them on either side of her face. "My dearest, loveliest, Elizabeth." His lips brushed hers gently and although she found the sensation pleasing it was not enough. She reached her arms around his neck drawing him closer and deepened the kiss. If the sound this elicited was any indication Darcy had no objection.
Several minutes later Darcy drew back, but only far enough to place his forehead on hers. When his breathing had returned to something close to normal he said, "Elizabeth, we should return to the house."
"If that is your wish." She said with an impish smile making no move to separate herself from him.
"It is not my wish, but you can only trust me so far, my love when you look at me like that." He smiled and kissed her quickly. Standing, he offered Elizabeth his hand and helped her rise.
"You are to be my husband and I cannot trust you?" She said sounding shocked.
"When I am your husband you needn't worry." He said with a raised brow. Then tucking her arm in his and pulling her close to his side they walked together toward the house.