Chapter 21

There were no words to explain how terrified I felt. His eyebrows were knit together, his mouth written in a straight line. He looked exactly how he usually did when he was around newborns, but this time, he had a sort of mad twinkle in his eye, an abyss of terror. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and I felt myself shrink back into the brick wall, as far as I could go, waiting for the scary look to direct on me.

But it never did. Riley wiped the dripping wet hair out of his face and passed us, without a word. Fred must have sensed my discomfort and used his power to cover me from Riley. That, or Riley just decided to completely ignore me.

Fred turned around to look at me, once the dark haired vampire had disappeared into the cabin entrance. "Bella…"

I didn't look at him. My eyes were fastened on the doorway where I was left hanging. It was hard to choose what I'd rather have had happen: him looking at me with the fiercest hatred or being rebuffed like I never existed. A deep clench wrapped itself around my heart and squeezed, and I felt the sadness and betrayal oozing out from the cuts.

"Bella…" Fred repeated, examining my crumpling face.

What did I really expect, though? I left him out in the pouring rain, saying I wanted nothing to do with him. He had every reason to do the same to me, every reason to want to move on with his life.

Then why did I feel so betrayed?

"Bella, c'mon," Fred urged. "Did you forget all that we just talked about?"

I made a noise, a painful gasp, and I clutched the wall for support.

Oh God…

"I…can't," I managed to get out, as Fred rushed up to help me. The rain was pounding against the earth, now.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Fred demanded. "Speak- Damn it! You can't what?"

My vision seemed to blur, but no tears came. No tears could come. "Fred…" I started, gulping. "Fred… I think he hates me, Fred… I…. I can't-"

"Bella," he forced me to look at him. "He's not a good guy, he's bad. He's bad for you-"

"No!" I suddenly screeched, and I jerked myself out of Fred's grip. This truly was pathetic of me. Here I was shutting out one of my only friends left in this world, hopelessly evolved in a pit of despair, expecting Riley to run back up to me and try getting me to leave with him again. Would I really have had a different answer? What was making me feel so hopeless- so useless in this situation… and oh God, it hurt…

"I love him," I nearly sobbed, clutching the hem of Fred's shirt. "I love him so damn much…"

Fred held me silently, waiting for me to calm down. I was so thankful he wasn't pushing me away or beating me with harsh words on what a bad friend I was to Bree. It was a lost cause. My friends were all I had left, the only people I could lean and rely on… there was no more Edward, no more Charlie or Renee… no more Angela…

They all thought I was dead.

And I was, in a sense.

Fred ended up waiting until I calmed down before helping me back on my feet. "You're going to be okay?"

I nodded a couple times. "Yeah… I'm sorry, Fred. Mental breakdown."

He nodded back. "It happens."

It took some convincing, but he finally got me to get back into the cabin. All the newborns stood in some sort of half circle, listening to Riley preach about tomorrow's battle strategies. I wanted to fall apart and break down again at the sight of him, his undisturbed aloofness and almost proud exterior getting the best of me. How could he speak to them in such a carefree manner? Did he completely forget what had happened in the last few hours?

Bree was still shriveled on the ground, Gareth wrapping one small arm of his around her. She weakly looked up at us, and she accepted my embrace when I held out my hands. Riley continued speaking. "All in all, you kids have done well. You've pulled it together when I wasn't around, and you've trained hard. Our enemies won't know what hit them, and for that, you are all getting a reward tonight. You'll want your strength for tomorrow."

Many of the newborns, mainly Raoul, growled in approval. I only hugged Bree harder, flashing Fred a look of worry. A reward? What was he planning?

"Bree, Gareth," Fred knelt down, using his power to keep others from listening in. "You two are going to need to listen to me carefully. The four of us aren't going to fight tomorrow. We're going to get out of here as soon as possible and get to safety, you got it?"

"Are you kidding?" Gareth whispered in a harsh tone. "He's never going to let us! We'll get caught!"

"No, we won't," I assured, sighing. "He won't care… and even if he did, we'll have Fred's ability to help cover us."

"No," Gareth insisted, shaking his head frantically. "I am not getting torn to shreds for this. Nope. Not at all."

"We're going to get torn to shreds if we stay!" I nearly shrieked at him. "I've known the Cullens for almost three years straight- everyone in this room who raises a hand to them will be ripped to pieces, do not doubt my words for a second, kid, are you listening?" My voice came out firmer than I wanted it to, so I lowered it way down. "Sorry… it's just, we need to escape for our own safety. Please, Gareth. I don't want you to get killed. Or anyone else."

The small, blond vampire finally nodded, understandingly. "Well… how many of us are going? Just us four?"

"Just us four."

I sighed to myself. Riley…

"But…" Bree suddenly spoke, her voice still fresh with pain. "Didn't you hear him…? Riley… he said we're leaving early… tonight…"

Fred looked at us firmly. "Then we'll leave tonight."

It took all my strength to keep a neutral face. It was already nighttime- that meant I only had a few hours to….

To do what?

"Where are we going to go?" Gareth asked.

Fred turned to me. "Don't know. Bella?"

"Oh, um… well, tonight it doesn't matter. Just far away, where we can get shelter and figure out a game plan," I explained as civil as possible. "I'd say we leave the cabin with the rest of the newborns tonight, but go the opposite direction once they start heading to Forks."

The three other vampires didn't object to anything, even though with Bree it was hard to tell. She was so silent, it frightened me, but she had every reason to be upset. Fred started going off on Gareth for freaking out again, and only when they were both absorbed in their argument did Bree pull me closer. "Riley… why did he kill him?"

Her hushed voice surprised me. "Bree-"

"No, I need to know," she insisted. "Please."

I sighed. Why was she putting herself in more pain? "He… um... well, he didn't want to kill him, he was forced to. He told the creator about his knowledge of the sunlight… and well, the creator told him to get rid of Diego. And when he resisted… the creator made him make a decision on who to kill… Diego… or me…" My eyes closed with shame. It was all my fault.

Bree just looked up at me. "Why you?"

"Because…" I swallowed. "She knew he loved me."

There was no reaction. Just silence.

"So he really does love you…"

Not anymore, I wanted to correct. And not ever again.

"Do you love him?"

I helped her sit up. "We can talk about it later, Bree, here, I'll help you stand up if you need it. On three, okay?"

"Bella."

"Are you ready? Here, wait, put your hands on my shoulders-"

"Bella."

I sighed, and looked back at her.

"Why haven't you gotten him to come with us yet, then?" she demanded in a soft tone. I felt my senses running with disbelief at her question. He just killed her one and only love- and she wanted him to come with us? To safety?

"I thought you hated him," I admitted.

She sighed. "I don't know what to think of him now." Her hands fastened themselves on my shoulders, and she hauled herself up, her dreary and sad eyes regaining their intensity. "He should've killed the creator for making him choose between his best friend and his love," her voice was solemn. "But he obviously had his reasons. And it was understandable that he rather protect you than… D-Diego… but, this really isn't about Diego. How would you be able to live on, Bella, knowing that you could've saved the boy you love from death?"

I felt inwardly sick, and rightfully so. "Bree… I don't know… he doesn't look like he cares anymore. He ignored Fred and I when we were outside; when he came in. I don't think he wants me to talk to him."

"This could save his life, though!"

"I know…" my voice cracked. "But he doesn't love me, anymore."

"That's bull-crap," she snapped. "He can't just suddenly switch- you need to talk to him after he's done speaking. I'm not happy with him, but if you think he's innocent and you love him, I won't have it any other way. Talk to him!"

Sighs escaped from my lips. "I can't."

Bree didn't talk to me for the rest of the night. The only contact she gave me was expected glances throughout Riley's speech, waiting for me to talk to him. I avoided her gaze as best I could, my eyes taking turns from the floor to the most beautiful vampire in the world. He was hiding nothing from the looks of things, just talking about how successfully we'd all be tomorrow. If he was the least bit troubled at all, he was masking it incredibly well.

Why, I wanted to scream at him. Why won't you look at me?

He was trying to escape.

"Five more hours until we hit our battle field," Riley announced, wrapping up his speech. "Lets get a move on if you want to get your reward over with in time for the fight."

All the newborns were standing up now, piling out the doorway with excited growls. I stood on my toes to try and catch the back of Riley's head, but it was impossible to find. He must have already been outside, waiting to lead us in the right direction. I felt a lurch pound throughout my being, and I knew at that moment I needed to talk to him, no matter how much he resisted.

Fred, Bree, and Gareth lingered in the back, and I didn't bother waiting for them. Riley was already at the start of the line, counting all his numbers in his head. Even though I hated interrupting people when they were busy, I marched up to him and grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the newborns.

"Hey," he automatically frowned at me. "Get in the back of the line, I'm doing something here."

I recoiled, but answered back fiercely. "I need to talk to you."

"I don't have time-"

"Then make time."

He groaned, and I hated how miserable he was looking at me. Why was he doing this? "What's wrong with you?" I demanded, looking him square in the eye. "Why are you ignoring me? Are you trying to erase me from your memory, or something? Look- just because I said I couldn't love you doesn't mean I didn't want to-"

Riley made a noise, shushing me from the other newborns. He obviously didn't want them knowing what he did, and that only angered me further. I wasn't going to let him off that easily. "What- you can't let them know? You can't ruin your reputation?"

"Stop with the yelling," he groaned again. "God- damn…"

His words hurt more than he knew. "I don't understand, Riley," I choked out. "Did you just decide to start hating me once I left? Was that the only way to relive your pain?"

"What I did was stupid, and I regret saying any of it to you," he bit harshly.

I stared at him.

God, that hurt.

"You… never loved me?" I got out. "You lied to me?"

Riley turned over his shoulder, making sure none of the newborns were listening. "What does it matter what I thought? What does it matter to you, anyways? You got what you want, didn't you? You don't have to go anywhere with me, you can stay with your little friends for the rest of your life. Escape, even. Why should I care?"

"Riley…" I breathed, shaking my head. "Did you forget everything you said to me?"

"I don't see why you're bringing it up," he said disgustingly. "It obviously doesn't change a thing, now does it?"

"It can change something," I yelled back. "You're going to get yourself killed tomorrow, and Victoria knows it. She wants to get rid of you-"

"No, Victoria loves me," he said, and I stared at him in disbelief. "I was stupid to doubt her feelings for me. She truly cares for me, and I believe her. I'll do anything she tells me to do."

"Are you in denial?"

"Of what?"

"Of everything!"

Many of the newborns were staring now.

"Look at me," I commanded, and he reluctantly turned to me again. "There's something you don't know. She had a mate before you- his name was James. She loved him very much, and when my old boyfriend, Edward, killed him, she went insane to try and kill me for revenge. She's never loved you. You said yourself! Why are you turning the truth away from you now, huh?"

"No," Riley shook his head. "You're lying."

"Riley!"

"I love her!" he suddenly thundered. "So it doesn't matter what you say. I will put my life on the line for her, and if she wants me to gets slaughtered on the battle field- then, damn it- I will!"

From the corner of my eye, the newborns stared at us like we were the only entertainment in the world. Some of the girls, like Kristie, started giggling with her friends on how intense our gaze was, while Raoul frowned like he couldn't comprehend what the word 'love' meant. Fred, Bree, and Gareth stood off from the side, so I couldn't see their reactions. They were probably as bad as mine.

Riley continued, since I wasn't speaking. "And just because I was a little out of control last night, it doesn't mean I meant anything I said to you-"

Oh, make him stop talking!

"So don't take any of it so seriously-"

In one stride, I had leaned forward and kissed him.

It was more of a kiss to shut him up than anything romantic, but it was a kiss never the less. My lips captured his, his captured mine. I could hear the murmur of shock running throughout the newborn crowd, a few gasps at the sight. Riley was completely frozen. It was only after a good ten seconds that he finally loosened up, but that was when I pulled back.

His eyes were a warm red when they opened, filled with uncertainty. I could literally see all the denial and all the hatred melt away and replace with warmness and sudden light. He looked just as he did when he had confessed, and I knew then that this was the time to depart.

"You're right," I murmured. "How could I ever return the love of someone who murdered my friend?"

A pang of sadness washed through his gaze, and I angrily turned away and headed the other direction. The three newborn comrades followed my heels, and I knew Riley was watching, a tornado of feelings in the pit of his stomach. He deserved it, though. He pretty much broke my heart with his little charade, and I wanted nothing more to do with him.

Have fun dying, Riley, was my last thought.

Really exciting chapter- NEXT! Please review you guys ^^ They always make me feel all happy and make me want to update faster!