"Just Desserts"
Helga Pataki, Arnold decided, would be his undoing. He had underestimated the girl at every turn, and now that the stakes were increasing, she had him wrapped up like a Christmas present. And Helga was the wrapping. Being fawned over by this girl was an experience like no other. As she lazily twirled errant strands of his hair around her finger, all the while embellishing their Vegas wedding to Miriam and Olga, Arnold's thoughts flashed to a time long ago, when he had briefly pretended to be Helga's boyfriend in order to make a sweet girl named Lila jealous. Lila was a name that Arnold hadn't given much thought to in years. He dimly remembered being completely infatuated with her, but she never seemed to be interested in being anything more than friends. Being Helga's boyfriend, even as an act, wasn't quite as unappealing as he had first imagined. If anything, he did learn that Helga knew how to play the part of a girl with the rest of him, at least, when it suited her. Still, it was strange of her to have offered to help him out when he never even had anything nice to say about him. She did it willingly, and almost seemed to enjoy it, even if it was only for a few days.
Mentally, Arnold continued to wonder what was eating the girl. She wasn't incapable of normal human relationships. But it was as though she never wanted to be looked at in that way. The older she got, the more she hid herself. In junior high and high school, the old gang began pairing off, as always happened. Over the years, partners were sometimes switched, but Helga refused to even dance. He never knew her very well after sixth grade, but he wasn't even certain if she's ever had a boyfriend of her own. She was always by herself. Yet here she sat, being overly affectionate, clinging to him and having an animated discussion about the wonders of marriage they were still discovering each day.
"Dessert's on!" Bob bellowed, returning from the kitchen with pieces of cake that had been cut crookedly, and crudely scooped ice cream. He maneuvered around the table, slapping plates down in a hurry to get to his own.
"About time, dad, I'm wasting away here!" Helga moaned, grabbing her plate and shoveling a big bite of dessert into her mouth. Suddenly, Arnold began to remember he hadn't noticed Helga's "charms" when they were in school.
Bob grunted, then gave the newlyweds an annoyed look. "Hey, hey! Break it up you two! There's no hanky panky at the dinner table!"
"It's just a little cuddling, dad." Helga spat the title back at her father. "We have a little more class than you."
"Eat your dessert!" Bob roared.
"Whatever!" Helga scoffed.
"B, please, can we just eat in peace?" Miriam groaned.
"Well excuse me for not wanting to watch our daughter wrap herself all around this joker. It's bad enough just knowing what they do together at night, I don't need a constant reminder."
Helga slammed her fist down on the table, bringing all eyes in the room onto her. Bob looked at her as though daring her to say something, but she remained silent. That would be exactly what he wanted, and she made it a habit never to play games by Bob's rules.
"Yeah, that's what I thought." Bob snorted, returning to his dinner. Helga flexed her fingers back and forth several times, a fury in her eyes that desperately needed an outlet.
"I don't have to justify myself to you, Bob." Helga pushed her dessert away.
Bob shook his head, as though savoring the moment. "Ho, ho, you think you're so smart, don't you missy? You know damn well I would never have let you marry such an unambitious nothing, so you made sure I never got any input."
"You're goddamned right I did! You have some nerve! After what you tried to pull with Olga, did you think I would ever let you dictate the terms of my happiness?"
"I am your father, you ungrateful wretch."
"That's enough!" Arnold yelled, standing up.
"Stay out of this, kid."
"No! I'm not going to sit here and do nothing! That's my wife you're talking to! And I say that she doesn't have to listen to any of it!"
"Hey, I spawned the brat, I helped bring her into this world, and I demand respect!"
"Yeah, well, I guess maybe if you acted like a person deserving of it, you would get it." Arnold folded his arms across his chest.
"Those are big words coming from a shrimp like you." Bob said thoughtfully, scratching his chin. "Fine then. You know what, kid? She's your problem now, and you're welcome to her."
"She's not a problem, Mr. Pataki. You're the only problem I can see here. Come on Helga, let's go home."
Helga was pressed back completely in her chair, her eyes spread out like saucers. Arnold had just defended her. Her! Helga G. Pataki. No, that wasn't right. She was Helga P. Short. Arnold had said so. That's my wife you're talking to! The words played over and over in her head. Oh, Arnold, finally. For how many years have I longed for you to defend me, to shelter me, to turn your warm and caring actions upon me. Have you finally begun to see me as I've always wished? Has your heart finally been moved by the countless declarations of love I have whispered to you from my bedroom window in the still of the night? Have my prayers at last come to fruition; my grief turned to joy? Can you finally see that I am the girl who can love you like no other, who will stay by your side day and night, never wavering, never doubting? Do you, at long last, know that I love you?
Helga heard Arnold call her name, and she responded. She was his to command, had always been his since the first time they had met. "Yes, Arnold?" She asked in a voice full of worship and admiration. Arnold, slayer of Bob.
"We're leaving now." Arnold beckoned to her.
Helga stood up, a dreamy expression on her face as she watched Bob sitting in shock. She took Arnold's outstretched hand and clasped it lovingly, stepping around the table to stand at her husband's side, more love in her eyes now than in the past fifteen years combined.
"You walk out that door, don't come back." Bob growled. Helga ignored him.
Arnold stopped for a moment and turned to the two women who were staying behind. "Mrs. Pataki, Olga, you will always be welcome in our home." Arnold then walked into the hall and out the front door, taking an ecstatic Helga with him.
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After they had gotten a block down the road, Helga glomped her husband. "Arnold, that was brilliant! You really put Bob in his place! I've been waiting to do that for years!"
"I just couldn't stand the way he was talking to you." Arnold sighed. "You are my wife, and, well, I can't let someone talk about my wife that way. Even if I didn't pick you."
"Thanks Arnold."
"Don't mention it. I was just doing my duty."
"I'd say that you went beyond."
"What about your family?"
"Who, those crazies?" Helga laughed. "I wouldn't worry about it. Miriam and Olga will make Bob feel like dirt and he'll make a grudging apology when he can't take it anymore. He's not really all that mad at me, or even you. He's just gets like this whenever he comes face to face with how much of my life he's missed out on. He gets guilty and thinks he has to somehow make it up to me. He never gets that it's a little late for that."
"I'm sorry, Helga."
"Don't be, it's not your fault. Come on, let's go out somewhere and grab a burger."
"But we just ate dinner!" Arnold started.
"Yeah, I know, but trust me. After that, I've worked up an appetite."
Arnold smiled at her, and the began walking in the direction of downtown. "Whatever you say, Helga."
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Hello, Strangers! By Ginger Foutley
I'm just going to come right out and say it. It's not easy being a girl. In fact, I'm not sure if I ever got a hang of the whole thing completely. Ironically, it's not really anyone's fault. But I never really figured out the social structure. Or more accurately, I never really learned how to successfully navigate the female social structure without compromising my integrity.
I don't know why this is, but women seem to have trouble getting along with each other. I never saw it this way with guys. And I'm not trying to put anyone down. But guys seem to have the whole friendship thing worked out to a science. There's just certain, unspoken things that guys don't do to each other. If someone does, that's usually the end of the friendship. But with girls, things are usually more dramatic. Guys don't hang out with other guys they don't like. Most women I know, myself included, aren't quite so heartless, and we will engage ourselves with people we might outright dislike. So then what happens when things go south? We end up having a fight, not wanting to be friends anymore. But then we will anyway. From what I've learned, it's that men don't forgive and don't forget. Women forgive, but don't forget. Maybe we just like the drama, but it's true. I've gotten into some really nasty situations with people I consider to be my best friends. And maybe we could put things together again later. . .but it wasn't quite the same. Does this make us any more evolved?
Does anyone know why we're like this? Is it some kind of innate thing we can't control? Is it locked into our gender? I just don't know. I like to think that I'm better than that. I don't really consider myself one of those bra burning feminists, but the differences between men and women never seemed to be such a big deal to me. Sure, we're different. Women are better than men at lots of stuff. And there's some things that men just do better. It's not a contest, it's just, well, maybe it's like that for a reason. Maybe it's because together we make a complete species, a complete bond. I've always had that feeling when I'm in love, that this is the person who will fill in my gaps, who will complete me. I've been with different guys in my life, no two of them the same. And each one made me feel, well, different. I don't know how many times I've truly been in love. I've had plenty of crushes, yes. But love is so much better. . .and sometimes, so much worse.
There are times when I've really been worried about being in love. I didn't feel safe or warm or reassured. I felt naked and exposed, insecure about things lasting. And sometimes. . .too often, really, I was right. I'm still not sure why Darren and I put each other through everything that we did when we were younger. We were friends, good friends. But as usually happens between boys and girls at that difficult age, we agreed to throw that away in favor of something greater. And it was. To this day, even if I knew everything that would happen between us in the future, especially with my friends, well, I wouldn't change things. I would return his initial feelings. Willingly, and without any resistance. And it saddens me to know that we put each other through so much high school crap. We didn't keep our promises. We had wandering eyes and gave into our weaknesses. Even after everything we gave up for what we thought was love. No, that's not right. It was love, even then. We were just too stupid and immature to give it a real chance. But if we had to make mistakes, I'm glad it was then. Life is a learning process, right? And that's exactly what it was for us.
Eventually, we learned to get our stuff together. But it didn't happen overnight. Sometimes it takes a few tries to get things right. You have to push yourself, dedicate yourself. Set goals and work towards them. And I decided that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life being bitter about the stupid an immature things that we did to each other in high school. I read once that true love doesn't keep a slop bucket lying around. You know what I mean. Ammunition. Keeping track of everything your significant other did that was wrong or stupid and then throwing it back in their face when you have a fight. When you really love someone, you do forgive and forget. You don't keep score. And that's the kind of relationship that I'm slowly putting together. Being in love isn't easy, let me tell you. It can be pretty exciting, but it can really cost you if you aren't careful. Too often, when love is new, we give ourselves to it completely, and we don't see the things that we should. Only too late do we realize that we thought was love is really just a crush, an infatuation, or worst of all, lust. And it's just so easy to delude ourselves over these types of things. When it comes to romance, most of us have a nasty habit of only seeing what we want to see. And that's understandable. When you really like someone, you tend to overlook their faults. And if they care for you in the same way, they'll overlook yours as well. But that's also how incompatible couples that can't make it also get started. And sometimes you have to go through that. Love, like life, is a learning process. How many people can honestly say that they've only been in love once. People over the age of twenty. Not many, and I don't doubt that some of them would be lying. Maybe that's a little harsh, but I hate to see people make decisions that they shouldn't based purely on love.
Does that make me a hypocrite? I'm the one who threw away a friendship with a great guy so I could be his girlfriend instead. It might not have been the wisest thing I could've done in life. Truthfully, it ended up buying us just as much pain as it did happiness. And yet, as I stated, if I had it to do all over again, I would. What can I say, love does crazy things to me. I guess Darren does some pretty crazy things to me too. He has this really clever thing he does with my feet when I'm feeling down and, well, maybe I'll just leave that one to your imagination.
Now I'm not even sure if I'm making sense anymore. But that doesn't surprise me. If love were supposed to make sense, then I think all the romance would be taken out of it. Talk about defeating the whole purpose. Maybe it's meant to drive us crazy. Maybe we weren't intended to have any control over it. We're just supposed to follow our instinct, follow our heart, and give into the feeling, whatever may come. This is who we are as a species, and who am I to dispute that? I certainly know that I'd never want to be accused of trying to hold up the whole process. I consider myself to be a romantic at heart. I believe in love. I have to believe. Because with all the mistakes that I've made as a person, that we've all made as a society, I just have to believe that things can be better. That we're all fundamentally good. And if we aren't able to love, then what hope is there for us?
Do you love someone? Then go tell them right now. If you've always been afraid to tell someone how you feel, then you should go tell them. You'll only make yourself a better person for it. Believe in love. It's real, and it's waiting for you.
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"So that's it?" Sid asked as he walked down the lamplight street with Nadine, the two of them licking ice cream cones. Fortunately, at this time of year, Slaussen's kept its doors open until 1AM, being something of a hangout for teenagers on the weekend. Some parents grumbled about giving their kids an excuse to stay out so late, but it was also true that having a decent place to hang out probably kept them out of trouble.
"We weren't that serious, Sid." Nadine rolled her eyes. "I mean, Arnold and I really liked each other, but I don't think it was love."
"Do you miss him?" Sid asked.
"Sometimes." Nadine twiddled her fingers. "Often." She admitted after a moment.
"But why did you break up with him?"
"I had to."
"Nadine?" Sid asked, growing concerned. "I don't know why you say that, but it sounds like it might be something you haven't completely dealt with. If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to."
"But that's the problem, Sid. I want to tell you."
Sid reached out, putting a hand on her shoulder, but she recoiled from his touch, and he quickly took it away. "I'm sorry." Sid muttered. "I don't know what I should do."
"You're not the one that should be sorry, I am." Nadine's voice increased in pitch. She sounded very upset.
"You don't have to be sorry, Nadine. Sometimes stuff just hurts."
Nadine gripped Sid's free hand with her own. "If I don't tell someone, I'm going to go crazy!"
"Then tell me. I'll listen. I swear it."
"Okay, here goes. Sid?" Nadine asked.
"Yeah?"
"What's the worst thing that can happen to a woman?"
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"What's the worst thing that can happen to a woman?" Lois Dave asked. "Marrying someone who ends up giving you two first names."
"Mom, I'm serious!" Ginger pleaded, settling down backwards into a chair. "Come on, I need an honest opinion here. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? I mean, that you can talk about."
"Well, most people that know me would say that it's Carl, but I always felt that the worst thing that's gone down in my life is that I was never able to spend as much time with you kids as I wanted to."
"Really."
"Yeah. It's not easy being a single mother, Ging."
"I know. I mean, I don't know first-hand, but I can imagine. We must've put you through a lot."
"More than you remember, I bet. But that's a part of life. When you have kids, you take on certain responsibilities. Being a parent is a full time job. Being a single parent and a hospital nurse, oy, don't get me started!"
"How did you do it, Mom?" Ginger asked, picking up a piping hot mug of tea and cupping it with her palms.
"I don't know, I just did. It wasn't something that I had to get through, y'know. I wanted to do it. So what brings on all the questions?"
"I don't know, I guess maybe I've been thinking of becoming a parent myself lately." Ginger met her mother's gaze, and backpedaled a bit. "Not that I have to start thinking about it or anything, I'm not even married yet! It's just, you know, now that I'm in my twenties and all."
"Oh come on, Ginger, your biological clock couldn't have that short of a fuse."
"No, it's not like that. It's just. . .Darren and I are trying to plan ahead. If we have kids, that's a big step. I don't want us to both go into this whole marriage thing with different ideas about we want from this."
"Mmm, now that is a good thing." Lois commented. "Sometimes I wish your father and I had looked farther ahead."
"You didn't agree on how many kids you wanted?"
"No, not that. We just kind of let you and your brother happen when we were ready. Don't worry, neither of you were a surprise. Jonas and I never really fought over you two. We just had different expectations on what a marriage was. You be careful yourself." Darren's a great guy, no question there. But you make sure that you both understand each other's needs before you go through with it. Marriage is one compromise after another."
"So I've heard." Ginger giggled.
"Oh you have, have you? From who?"
"Dr. Dave." Ginger laughed outright. Lois scowled at her daughter for a moment before chuckling herself. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to come out the way it sounded. I just asked him for a little advice. I even asked Dad, but he did tell me he wasn't great at the whole marriage thing. At least he was honest."
"Look, Ging, I know what you're thinking. Just because I failed at my first marriage doesn't mean that you will too. That's part of being a parent. I raised you to be smarter, and not to make some of the same mistakes I did. You don't think that I just raised you with a bunch of rules because I liked making you frustrated, did you?"
"Well, the thought did cross my mind a few times mom. You really made stuff tough on me sometimes, especially in junior high."
"Oh really?"
"Yes!"
"Like how." Lois crossed her arms.
"I didn't want to shave my legs so I could be in a kickline, you know. I was just tired of wearing jeans and long dresses all the time!" Ginger protested.
"And I didn't want to worry about you cutting yourself. Or growing up too fast."
"I would've had you supervise me. I was so happy when I reached high school and you finally gave in."
"Yeah, well, sooner or later, they all grow up. Besides, you had a steady boyfriend then, we didn't want him to know about your little problem."
"Well, thanks for at least taking pity on me then."
"Hey, I'm not heartless." Lois shrugged. "Anyway, Ging, what you need to remember is that I always struggled to do what I thought was best for you. I know I wasn't perfect, no parent is. I just tried to remember back when I was a kid. I promised myself I would never do the stuff that made me resent my own parents unless absolutely necessary, and I think I did a pretty good job with that. Now that you're older, you can be honest with yourself. If there was something you felt I really dropped the ball on, then you'll know that's a mistake you won't make with your own children. Does that help at all?"
"A little." Ginger explained, sipping her tea, steam from the mug dissipating into the air. "So what's it like being married?
"Couldn't describe it, Ging. But once you're there, you tell me."
"Sounds like a plan, Mom." Ginger lightly clacked her mug against her mother's, taking a longer sip. She wondered how much would really change in eleven months. For love, she knew too well, always begot change.
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Helga Pataki sat beneath the shade of an aged walnut tree, gnawing on the end of a worn pink pen as she contemplated her thoughts. Another of her poetry books was nearing completion, and she had to be certain that each installment was an improvement over the last. But lately, words were escaping her. She didn't even know what to say, what to think. How was it that she was thinking about him now more than she ever had as a child? "Arnold, you stupid football head!" Helga muttered, kicking her left heel into the ground. "Why couldn't you just keep holding me? Why do you always have to push for more? Ugh!" She couldn't take it. She hated this. She was just blaming him, and for what? It wasn't his fault that she was an idiot. He was only trying to build a normal relationship with her, wasn't he? But that was just the problem. She wasn't capable of that kind of love. She wasn't able to bring herself to love someone that fully. At least, not openly. She could unbind her heart only when she was certain no one else was around to see it.
But she had opened up to him, hadn't she? She had told him the truth about the marriage. She had told him about what she went through at home. She had revealed the fact that her love for him had been growing for over fifteen years. Wasn't that enough?
No, of course not. How could she have been so naïve? Because you're a fool to the end, Helga. She thought bitterly. As usual, you've managed to sacrifice the few good things in your life to feed your worst parts. It was mind boggling. Why did she keep doing these things to herself? What the hell is missing with me? She cried, throwing the book onto the ground. Why can't I just enjoy the good things? Because I've stopped allowing myself to feel them. "Criminey, what the hell is missing with me!" Helga yelled, causing a flock of nearby birds to take flight. She clenched her left hand, digging her nails into her palms. She couldn't bear to think of him, it only brought back unpleasant memories of the terrible things they had said to each other. Things were hopeless, that's all there was to it. Her entire life, every time she had tried to help her and Arnold grow closer, something always came along to mess it up. How could I have thought that this would be any kind of exception? How indeed. Love had a habit of making a fool out of her. And she was always so eager, so willing to be that fool. She would endure it time and again, if there was any chance of her desires becoming reality. The definition of insanity could be said to be doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If that was indeed the case, then Helga considered herself to be completely out of her mind. And she didn't want to be sane.
Feeling inspired, she opened her book again and began to write furiously. Arnold, my reluctant lover, how can I begin to right the wrongs we have trespassed against each other. Be still, my heart and soul, and listen to the words I dare not speak. . .
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"We were in love." Arnold nodded, taking a very distraught Rhonda into his arms. "We are in love, that isn't what has changed. But let's be honest with ourselves. We aren't in the same place that we were when as a couple. Things have changed, for both of us."
"Those aren't necessarily changes for the better." Rhonda countered. "I am not the same person now that I was when I was with you. I like myself more when we're together. I like the person you helped me to become!"
"I like her too." Arnold smiled. "But you don't have to change just because we're not together. You should be the person you like for yourself, not for me."
"Don't talk as though our relationship is ending!" Rhonda cried.
"I never said it was." Arnold shook his head. "But the more we talk, the more obvious it's becoming to me that Helga and I have unfinished business."
"I know that." Rhonda whispered, cupping his face in her hands. "God, I know it. But Arnold, just because you're not finished with her doesn't mean that she isn't finished with you."
"And I know that." Arnold looked into Rhonda's glassy eyes, seeing tears, pain, loneliness.
"Do you even know if you could live with her, Arnold? I won't sit here and run her down. That's not going to help me. But be reasonable. You've already been married to her. It ended badly."
"But it didn't have to. It was my fault. I didn't give her what she needed."
"What was that?"
"A reason to stay."
"Was any reason needed?"
"Yes." Arnold insisted. "She didn't just need me to love her, she needed me to validate her."
"Did you?" Rhonda asked.
"She asked me to. Physically, emotionally. But I was too angry. I was so wrapped up in my own feelings that I couldn't even see hers. I betrayed the uneasy peace that the two of us had worked so hard to create. And I knew what I was doing. I was just so hurt, I wanted to hurt her back."
"If there's one thing human beings have excelled at as a species, it's hurting one another." Rhonda nodded, beginning to get a much fuller perspective on the unending mystery that was Helga Pataki. "And when we were kids, Helga sure personified that. Why would you even be attracted to her after everything she put you through?"
"Because it's not the same as when we were kids." Arnold insisted. "She's not the same girl that she was then."
"She's exactly the same!" Rhonda yelled.
"No she isn't! Not if you really know her. She isn't that mean."
"That's not what I've heard from Gerald."
Arnold was taken aback, not wanting to think about his best friend, a position he wasn't even sure the young man still held. "Yeah, well, Gerald and I aren't exactly on speaking terms right now."
"He was only trying to save you the pain, Arnold. Helga can't be reasoned with, you know that." Rhonda tried to soften her beloved, stroking his cheek with her thumb.
"I don't believe that, Rhonda. As bad as she can be, she's real. She loves me."
"And now you love her back."
"It's not just that, it's, well, when we were together, and we weren't fighting, when we could just talk, or just sit quietly, well then it felt right. The way we fit into each other's arms felt natural."
"That's an image I really can't get my mind to conjure up."
"You might not think it," Arnold admitted, "but Helga can be really sweet and affectionate."
"You're right, I don't think it." Rhonda retorted.
"Hey, trust me on this one. Come on, I'm the one that fell for her, right? And you know me, I don't go in for the cold fish types."
"Well if she is warm to you, it certainly doesn't show to the rest of us."
"Yeah, I know. Helga doesn't really like to let people see her softer side. But it's there, you've got to trust me on that one. And it's good, really good."
"So, I'm almost afraid to ask, but. . .where does this leave us?" Rhonda asked. "You love her more, don't you?"
"It's not like that." Arnold shook his head. "I just. . .love her different. Different doesn't have to mean more or less."
"But it usually does. Sooner or later, one of us is going to lose you. And you're making me certain that it's me who will be left behind."
"Don't talk like that, Rhonda. It isn't over yet. You know that I love you. I will always love you."
"They're just words." Rhonda wept.
"No they aren't! Rhonda, how can you think I would ever forget how we found each other when we were alone? How we saved each other from that loneliness? How we completed each other? I would never forget that. I love you, Rhonda, come what may. And even if you're right, even if my heart tells me that in the end, it's Helga I need to be with, well, you'll still always have a place in my heart. I can't promise you that it will be the biggest piece, or even the best piece, but it sure as hell will be your piece. I swear that nothing can ever change that. Nothing can ever take away what we've had together!"
Arnold was panting, feeling emotionally exhausted, out of breath. Rhonda did not answer him, only stared at his eyes, as though measuring his worth. "It's not over between us, Rhonda." He whispered.
What are you letting him do to you, sweetheart? Rhonda thought to herself as she stared into his beautiful green eyes. Be strong. Make a clean break. Let him go. If he really loves you, then he'll come back to you. But she couldn't. Tears streamed down her face. Letting go of him is the one thing I might never be able to do. She kissed him, softly. Delicate lips barely touching his own. It was as though she were kissing him for the first time. Shy and tentative, uncertain. It was the most innocent kiss she had ever shared, and in a manner, her best. Arnold followed her lead, gently taking her arms at the elbow, lowering them from his face. His hands sought her own, and he clutched them tightly, interlocking their fingers.
Rhonda pulled herself away, her eyes full or fears. "Please don't love me anymore, Arnold. You know that you belong with her."
"Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can live with them."
"You know what I mean." Rhonda squeezed their hands tighter. "I love you, Arnold. I will always love you. But only a fool can't acknowledge when a battle is lost. She took you from me."
"Then take me back!" Arnold pleaded.
She looked at him, saw the passion in his eyes, the plea for a second chance. Let him go, Rhonda. "No." She whispered.
"Rhonda. . ."
"God help me, I can't let you go. I can't let you go, Arnold." She cried.
"Then don't."
"Take me." Rhonda said with more courage than she felt.
"What?" Arnold's eyes went wide.
"Take me. I'm not a fool, Arnold. If Helga comes back to you, I can't win. I know that. And I accept it. But if you truly love me the way that you say you do, then give me something that she can't take."
"But, Rhonda, I don't want to take advantage of you." Arnold shook his head. "Under the circumstances, I don't feel that it would be right."
"Yes, it is." Rhonda explained. "I know you haven't been with her, you told me so yourself. I'm still a virgin myself. At least we can give each other that part of ourselves. Even if you stay with her, she can't take this away from me. If you meant what you said, then this way a part of us will always be in each other."
"Are you sure this is what you really want?" Arnold asked hesitantly, still not convinced.
"I want this more than anything. I want us to share what we should have so long ago." Rhonda pressed herself against him.
"But this could ruin you! I know how your world works. No one wants a trophy wife who isn't a virgin."
"I will never be anyone's trophy wife, Arnold. If I must marry another, it will be someone of my own choosing, not my parents. I don't care if they cut me off. My life, and my body belong to me and those I choose to share them with. No one else."
"But Rhonda-"
"Shush." Rhonda silenced him with a kiss, a bit less fragile than the last one. "It's my decision. Besides, you owe me, after all this time. Now, I insist that you take me to your room and make love to me." Rhonda purred, playing with his hair, coiling the strands on his forehead between her middle and index fingers. "What do you say to that?"
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Author's Notes
So, here we are again. This was another good, solid chapter. Everything went the way I wanted it to. I was feeling good this week. I have a new job starting today, the government approved my unemployment compensation and released my checks, and last night I went to see "The Weather Man," which is just a phenomenal film. Yeah, life is good. Now, I just need to keep up this level of writing every week. My pre-reader predicts this chapter will hit the record for reviews. I really don't know about that, but there's no way of knowing.
Before I get into any of last week's reviews, I want to take the time to talk about the Hey Arnold Fanfiction Awards that Jarel Kortan (author of the photograph) is trying to put together. I feel this is very important, as it allows the whole community to come together and make it known what they feel is the best work. This contest would have a plethora of categories to keep it from being a situation where one story takes everything, and I'm in full support of that. He's still hammering out the details, but I strongly urge you to send him a quick e-mail about what you're looking for. I'm hoping that he'll come up with a complete category listing soon so that a nomination process can begin. Remember, this is for everyone, not just the authors. Every vote will be counted when we get there. So again, please, visit his profile page and send him an e-mail. If you can spare a wee bit of time, offer to help him. Let's keep Hey Arnold alive and popular here at FFN!
Okay, let's get to some of these reviews. Now, I am going to do the best job possible, but please don't be upset if I don't go on at great lengths. I don't want to make the notes as long as the story! I didn't answer these in any particular order. Here we go…
Kitsunedream, yet another new reviewer. Welcome aboard! I'm glad to see you've been following the story all along. Helga did appear in the story once before, on the roof of a building, waving at a traffic copter. I forget which chapter, and I'm just too lazy to look right now. Sorry! I've written Helga here as someone who knows she's in a bind. She's trying to take a look at herself and decide if going back to Arnold is the right thing to do. She is self-conscious, she knows that she is not beautiful or attractive, and she's aware of it. It really bothers her. And that only aggravates her more, because she believes that her womanhood is based on more than looks, so it shouldn't upset her, and yet it does. I'm sorry that you once had to vie for the affections of someone against another woman. I've really never been one for that. I'm glad that you arrived at the conclusion that you did. It's the right one. Arnold is always thoughtful to a fault, and I wanted that to show in his relationships with women other than Helga. Arnold and Rhonda's relationship is built partly on passion, but also need. They were both very alone when they got together, each seeing something in the other they had never seen when they were younger. They were very good together, but eventually, Rhonda broke up with him to keep her parents happy. Rhonda never fell out of love with Arnold. Arnold still cares for her deeply, but his subsequent relationship with Helga has deeply complicated matters. Only time will tell how the scales tip. Arnold and Nadine—I'll reveal why Nadine broke up with him in the next chapter. That's going to be huge, and given what I already did with Arnold & Rhonda this chapter, I didn't want to do too much all at once. Keep reading! Nadine's relationship with Arnold was sweet, but something happened to change it forever. You'll soon know. You're very astute about these things, your observations are wonderful! You really nailed what this story is all about, and I hope that you'll continue on the journey. The discovery of what love is, what it means to love, and how we relate to one another is the whole point. You're very perceptive! Arnold and Helga do go together very well, they can fit. But as I mentioned, just because you love someone doesn't mean you can live with them. Whether they end up together or not will depend upon the decisions they make. I don't feel that you're dictating my story, I feel you're presenting some very valid thoughts. And I hope that all of this helps to smash through your own writer's block. It can be very difficult, I know. I hope that you'll review again soon!
What happened J.A.M, you were number two this week after all! You've got to get up earlier in the morning! I tried to bring Olga into focus a bit last week. Helga isn't going to be telling Olga off, her sister just isn't giving her much of a hard time at the moment. Regarding Ginger's column from last week, I don't have trouble with my VCR, except that I have 3, and usually manage to forget one. For the record, Daylight Savings Time is supposed to have a major change in 2007, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. What happened between Arnold and Helga will be revealed in the end. I wrote it many months ago. It's a huge ten page scene, and it's some of my absolute best work, IMO. Keep reading. Yes, Lor is in the story now, so there is crossover with The Weekenders. Moreover, it's a crossover combining elements of my fanfic "Awakening" and "Time Capsule," written by Didjargo and myself. It's not that you can't follow without reading those, just everything will tie together if you read them all. Will Arnold give in? Keep reading! "Ceremony Of Innocence" is a big undertaking for me as a one-shot. I'm a little nervous about it. But I'm committed to it now. I don't know when I'll pause this story to write that one, some time in December. I'll let you know. I'll save the Ginger poll stuff for last.
DarthRoden, glad to see my story excites you so. Keep reading man, it'll only get better!
Roxynomekop, I'm glad to hear that my last chapter enchanted you. I hope this one did just as much. I try to put something in it for everyone, and also to keep the story moving. I am recovered from the lackluster chapter 19, mercifully. Keep those stars in your eyes!
Glad to have you back, ahhelga. I know we don't get to talk much. I feel that the story has now progressed enough to support a present-tense Helga. Also, it's kind of unfair that everyone is talking about her but she's only in it through flashbacks. The poor girl deserves a chance to defend herself. Slowly, the story of what happened with her and Arnold will unfold. You're not the first person to mention the Courtney scenes. Writing for her character is really enjoyable, because she's just so different. I like the process of turning her into a real person. I adore her voice, and I'm trying to show that she's doing her best to keep things together. But she's only human. She needs help. I'm glad that you liked Helga's writing. I tried to show things from her side, make her unsure of herself, as she should be, after things got messed up with Arnold. Lor MacQuarrie is lifted from "The Weekenders," so I guess she's not related to the ones that you know, but it is something of a freaky coincidence. Thanks for telling me I'm so talented. And I know, I write like a girl. What can I say? Women fascinate me. It probably all ties into the fact that I need a good woman! Thanks for voting in the Ginger poll!
Hello again, Samantha. I'm glad to see that you've kept coming back! So, you read all of "The Sweet Hereafter" and didn't leave a review? Naughty! The upcoming "Ceremony Of Innocence" follows that and "Say You Will," so I'm glad you're caught up. Here's hoping that it will astound you. You sure hit on the point of my putting the Ginger columns in this story to begin with! They're there just as much for me as they are for you. They put Arnold and Helga's problems into perspective. But they also break up the drama by giving both of us a breather. Some of this stuff is as difficult to write as it is for you all to read, trust me. I will continue to update IG until the break, and I'll try to end with a good cliffhanger. It's also likely that I'll put up some kind of trailer for the next parts of the story during the hiatus. Footage from the earlier trailers that haven't appeared in the story yet will, I assure you. We're far from done! Good luck with your studies, thanks for voting, and may you find your long-lost work ethic!
Acosta perez jose Ramiro, nice observation about Olga, Arnold, and Helga. Overall, Helga has trouble relating to people, which is really the underlying issue. Glad you like the columns as well. I feel they really make the story stand out as something new, fresh, and exciting. Dodie's roll in the story is largely support for Courtney, and Courtney plays a huge part in the ending. As for Miranda, you don't think I've forgotten about her, do you? The role of Miss Killgallen will come in time. Interesting what you said about Arnold and Rhonda. As a Christian, I don't believe in sex before marriage either, but I'm writing this story to be realistic. I don't really want to tackle those kind of issues. As I lamented over politics, I like to keep them, as well as religion, out of entertainment. Sex does factor into this story, but as I'm sure you can see, it's about the emotions rather than the physical actions. Oh, and I plugged the fanfic awards, so let's see what happens!
Monster #43, a first time reviewer! Welcome! I'm glad that you enjoy the stuff I do with Ginger. I can assure you that the overall stories will come together in the end, which is where the relevance comes in. The actual Ginger storyline is minimal. Expect her to do a lot of angsting about getting married. The rest of the stuff will be about Courtney trying to find Helga, which is where these characters really connect to the main story. Did that help? It's hard to explain things without spoiling everything! I'm sorry that you didn't like Helga's point of view. She's just feeling down on herself right now because of what happened with Arnold. She's lost some self-confidence. Right now, she's trying to find herself. She's also looking for something to blame, which is why she's complaining about sex. She has trouble with being intimate with people, physically and emotionally, and she knows it's ruining her life.
Rhfntc, thanks for your vote. See below for my conclusions on that! I fully agree, Ginger really makes this story. I just wanted to do something that no one else has done before, and I felt that the characters from that show were perfect—ATBG, like HA, is about people being people. I'm glad that you appreciate my take on Helga's own writing. She is so much different than Ginger, so I had to make sure that came across. More Arnold and Helga interaction will be here, don't worry. They're the main characters! Ditto for Arnold and Rhonda, I have to keep fleshing out their relationship. Rhonda is one of the absolute most important characters. As you can see from this chapter, she's not taking any prisoners when it comes to fixing things with Arnold! Kiss that writer's block goodbye!
Laurel, thanks for coming back again. Another person who loves Ginger. I can no longer imagine where this story would be without her! You describe her so well, too! It seems that you're really identifying with Helga. I'm sorry if you're having a tough time in real life, but I do hope that being able to identify with Helga is helping you with your own struggles. I feel that it's important to explain who Helga is otherwise the audience can't ever feel like they know her. Rhonda's plan will bit her in the ass? I don't know, it might. The outcome depends just as much on her as it does on Arnold. Helga does maintain a tight hold on Arnold and always will, but that's because Helga and Arnold bonded in an extraordinary manner before things fell through. However, Arnold and Rhonda have a deep past, and they also have a connection that hasn't faded over time. Rhonda's case is not hopeless. However, it is probably not unfair to say that the quest for Arnold's heart is Helga's to lose. Arnold has no choice but to hurt one of them eventually. But both women left him, so it's more a case of which one he won't take back. I hope you come back next week!
Okay, I think that covers everyone. Man, that was a lot. I'm tired. As for Ginger, I think it's safe to say that the results of the poll overwhelmingly state that people would like to see more of her, so to that end, I worked in a small part with her in this chapter. I hope that you all like it. I decided to include Helga again as well.
Now, it's time for me to relax and take a little downtime. Let me know what you all think! I'll see you next week! Until then, send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:
Lord Malachite
11/14/05
3:37AM, EST
E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer(at)yahoo(dot)com
AIM: Asukaphile26