Chapter Twenty-one - Receiving Christine's Care

Erik woke up several hours before Christine, exploring the home of his childhood. He went to the attic first and saw his old cage-craddle which was built to stop him from wandering about the house. He went back to the main floor and explored the living room, remembering his very first meal on the main floor of the house. Erik held his forehead, rubbing his temples and wondering how his mother ever had the mind to treat him like that. Sure he wasn't the prettiest baby in the world, but he was still her son!

Erik couldn't wait til he had a plan to leave once and for all. He wanted nothing more than to leave the past behind and forget all that happened. He knew exactly where to do such a thing to - America. The New World, full of opportunities and a bright new future for anyone. The only problem was, he had to get there by water. He knew he couldn't risk seeing any familiar Frenchmen on a boat, but didn't know what else to do about it.

Erik felt a small hand press against his back and he shivered, wincing at the scars she pressed into. He gently breathed, moving her hand because he knew she had no idea about the scars and he wanted to keep it that way, "Good morning, petite ange. I thought you'd never wake up."

"Erik, I," she paused, starting at the open part of his shirt with tears brimming her eyes, "What's this?"

"Oh," he fastened the upper buttons of his shirt, "nothing you need to worry about."

She let the brimming tears roll down her cheeks, holding a hand under her nose, "I worry about you, Erik. You're very secretive and you seemed pain a lot. I just want-"

"Me to be happy?" she nodded, "That's what my mother said before I...Christine, you probably wouldn't understand my situation, considering how beautiful you are and how you will never have to deal with this. I have seen ugliness, betrayal, hatred, anger, pain, and grief rear their nasty heads in my life all the time. Never once have I ever experienced a positive emotion until I first saw you. And even then you stomped on my heart and soul. I don't know if I'm even capable of feeling happiness as long as people like you are here to take it away from me."

She bit her lip, looking down at his shoes - at the shine of the leather, "Erik, I am truly sorry for what I've done. I didn't know it would damage us."

"It didn't damage you. I just don't think you're truly sorry for what you've done. And even if you were...I don't know if I could forgive you yet."

"So," she stepped away, looking at his bare hands, "you don't love me anymore?"

"Oh, don't say that. Never say that. Christine, I'll never stop loving you, but you cut me deep. I'm still raw from heartache."

"Erik, I...I never knew you hurt that much."

"Just because I am ugly means I can't feel? I have these things before, Christine. Just leave me be."

"Erik-"

"Stop speaking my name!" he yelled in a voice so deep it made her shiver, "Just go. Before I lose my temper further."

Erik took a deep breath, wishing so much to be able to control himself for Christine. He sat beside a chair his mother used to sit in, propping his head on the arm. Erik felt her hand again lay softly on his neck and he shook hard, trying to cool down the demon inside, "Oh, Christine. Why must you torment me with your gentle touches?"

"I just," she let go, "I'm sorry. I'll leave you now."

Erik grabbed her hand, then stood up, "You shouldn't touch me with care. I'm evil, remember? I'll kill you the first chance I get."

"I don't think you're as terrible as you lead yourself on to be," she took off his mask, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, "I think all you need is the love you've never received."