Killian.

This past two days in Boston had been tolerable just because he's been really busy. He's been working from New York for a while now, Will was the only one he talked to those months he was away, so to find a way to keep working from afar again was not difficult. But he needs to get everything back in order. He left someone to manage the New York office, but he'll have to travel there once in a while. He left everything ready to work from Storybrooke with a laptop and a WiFi connection. He prefers to travel to Boston and New York once in a while than visiting Storybrooke once in a while, so that's it.

Milah kept on calling, he will answer one of these days, when he's settled and he has time for it. What they had could barely be called a relationship. She was more like her drinking buddy with benefits. There were no dates, there were no relationship responsibilities, there were no promises made. He decided to leave so he left, he didn't owe her an explanation, and to be honest he could try, his gentlemanly ways pulled him to it, but he knows it was going to be futile. She doesn't want explanations, she wants him back in New York to have him available to her again. She will find someone else to keep her entertained soon enough.

He's coming back home, and that's wherever Emma and Henry are. His friends are interested in knowing if he is going to try to get Emma back, but his priority is his relationship with Henry, Emma and him are better just as friends right now, where they can't hurt each other, and they can't hurt Henry. What they need to figure out right now is how does he fit in their lives as a parent figure for Henry.

The sun was setting when he got into town, a beautiful view from his bedroom at Granny's. The driver helped him get his suitcases up to his room, and left back to Boston. He took a bath to get rid of all the stress of the day before going to Emma's loft. He felt nervous when he was standing in front of the door, he could tell to himself and others that he is not here for a romantic relationship with Emma, but the truth is he doesn't believe there's any other kind of relationship he is really interested in having with her. He knocked and waited. Soon Emma opened the door, and when she saw him a smile spread on her lips.

"You are really back" she said looking surprised.

"Did you doubt me for a minute?"

"I just…I thought you were going to be back earlier…"

"Sorry to keep you waiting…It's been a crazy couple of days" and he noticed as a pretty blush covered her cheeks

"Come in" she said and he took a step inside, walking past her and the scent of wild flowers and vanilla enveloped him and warmed his chest. How did he live without it for so long?

Henry was crawling on the middle of the loft, but at the sight of him, the baby made a joyful noise and started his way towards him, he kneeled waiting for him with a smile and grabbed him from the floor as soon as the baby reached him "Woaw, you are really fast" he said laughing while hugging the baby "You must keep your mom on her toes" he said looking into the baby's face.

"I live in terror for the day he stars walking. I'm pretty sure he'll try running first" Emma joked, and when he gave a look at her, he noticed she was cleaning her eyes from unshed tears. She turned around quickly and made her way to the kitchen.

"Everything ok?" he knows Emma, she looks happy, at least on the surface, but there's sadness in her eyes, she may be able to hide it from everyone else but not from him.

"Do you want something? Water, Cocoa?" she asked facing him and avoiding his question, holding the fridge handle with one hand, and a fresh new smile on her face.

"I would like to taste your cocoa again if you don't mind" he said scratching behind his ear. He couldn't waste this opportunity, he's embracing any taste of the past that he can get.

"Sure, I want some too. You can put Henry on the floor, I let him crawl around for a while every evening, just keep an eye or two on him" she joked, but he took the warning very seriously, as much as he would love to watch every move Emma makes, he wouldn't risk Henry's safety. He noticed a corner packed with toys and a colorful carpet and sat Henry in the middle of everything, he sat down with him. The location was perfect, because he could keep an eye on both of them. Probably Emma put the toys here for that reason to keep an eye on the lad.

The baby started handing him everything he owns, showing it to him probably. And this was the most fun he had in a long while.

He caught Emma's eyes again, and even when she had a sweet little smile, her eyes told other story. She looked at her watch "What about we give Henry a bath and get him ready for bed, and let the cocoa for after that?" she said turning off the stove.

"You are the captain of this vessel, lass" he joked and her smile looked genuine this time.

"Very well, sailor. Keep him occupied while I get everything ready In the bathroom. Henry started crawling around, and he followed with his eyes, his body ready to jump to his feet at any moment if needed. The baby crawled to the stroller and was trying to get something from it pulling it to him from one end, he noticed it was the octopus he gave him a couple days ago. He walked to it and helped him, when he handed the stuffed animal to him, Henry gave it back to him.

"Are you giving it back already?" he asked amused.

"He loves that thing, he must really like you if he is sharing it with you. He doesn't even let me hold it for long" he looked up and Emma was staring at them leaning on the bathroom's door frame "Bring him here. Now it's a good time to train you on bathing duty"

"Are you sure about that?" he asked while pulling the kid from the floor, it was challenging with one and a half hand but not impossible. And to hold Henry was getting easier with practice.

"If you are serious about babysitting, then this is an opportunity we should take. You need to start your training right away" she said walking into the bathroom.

Emma was giving orders and watching, helping him when he struggled and pointing easier ways to do things. She told him how terrified she was the first time she gave him a bath, he was so tiny and she was scared he would slip from her hand and drown, and how she was always imagining the worst case scenario with everything new she had to do with the baby. He listened intently to every story, but paying attention to every move he made with the baby. Thankfully Henry is not as small as he was in Emma's stories, it really sounded terrifying.

He felt a deep regret for not being there, for being weak, drowning in alcohol and misery, not helping Emma before because he was feeling sorry for himself; busy making the stupid mistake of going back to Milah's arms. What the fuck was he thinking?

"Everything ok, there? You look really upset with the floor" he looked up, and she was right he lost himself in his thoughts staring at the floor while she was drying the baby with a towel.

"I'm fine, love. I was thinking about how much I missed" he said and she gave him that little pretty smile, and he knows she understands.

"Don't worry, you are here now for the fun stuff. There's still walking, and first words, and running around, and asking too many questions…There's a lot to pick from" he smiled feeling better imagining being there for those ones "Don't look so happy, there are some dreadful too, he's not teething yet, but that'll be soon and from what I hear it will be awful" she walked past him getting out of the bathroom, and he followed her. She pointed where the baby's clothes were, and diapers, and everything he would need for Henry.

After putting the first diaper he's put on a baby on his life, and dressing the baby, very slowly, grateful that Emma and Henry were really patient with him; Emma got back to the kitchen to make the hot cocoa, he walked around with Henry in his arms sucking on a bottle of formula. Emma was staring at them "You are going to spoiled him, I help him with it on his crib, I don't think I can hold him that long, he's gotten heavy"

"Luckily I'm strong enough" he said with a smile. Henry went out like a light after drinking the bottle, snuggled into Killian's chest, and to be honest he didn't want to put him down; but Henry would be more comfortable on his crib, so he did.

Emma called for him from the couch, the loft wasn't too big so they could easily watch Henry from afar, but not wake him up with their conversation. So he approached her, she calls to him like a siren, he is helpless when she speaks his name.

Emma.

Two days since he left, she was nervous, there was no hiding it. Even Graham noticed. Killian said he'll be back in a couple of days, well is day two already and there is no sign of him.

She calmed herself down mid morning meditating that if he was coming today it was going to be after noon at least. So she waited, biting her nails, typing over and over the same thing on her computer, not succeeding at doing it right. She was more anxious than when he came back over the weekend for the first time after a long time of not seeing him, because she wasn't expecting much back then, she thought he wouldn't talk to her more than he needed to. But that was not the case, now she is full of hope. She is not a fan of "hoping" but she hopes they could mend things, that in time they will be able to start all over again, do things properly now.

By the end of the day she was disappointed, she wanted to text him, to ask him when was he coming back, but she didn't feel like she should ask, they are not there yet. He'll come when he comes.

"Well kid, I really thought we were seeing your dad today. But it seems is not going to happen" she said to the baby after they entered their home and closed the door "I'm so glad you don't understand yet, because I would hate to see you as disappointed as I feel…Maybe if we sent him a picture" she put Henry on the couch and took her phone out from her jeans. But the baby was not having any of it, he wanted to go to the floor and play with his toys. No picture was good enough to send, so she quit. She just sat there on the floor, watching Henry play with his things, feeling sad.

Eventually she relaxed, she ended up lying on the floor, with Henry placing toys on her stomach. Time went by when a knock on the door startled her. Her heart was trying to jump out of her chest. She got up, checked on Henry and took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. She opened the door and there he was, then she remembered he always does what he says he will, she should have been more patient.

That precious moment when Henry recognized Killian and crawled towards him as fast as he's little limbs allowed him it was the most beautiful thing she's witnessed. And the way Killian grabbed him from the floor and hugged him was too much, she was about to cry of happiness, but soon she remembered why this was happening now and like this. Killian was supposed to be there, but she left. She turned around and she tried to hide the sadness that over took her.

She felt guilty, and she didn't want to ruin the evening with her feelings, she ruined enough already. She is not sure what is a family supposed to feel but she guesses is close to this, spending and evening playing with your kid, then giving him a bath together, watching his father give a bottle and put him to sleep. It was the most amazing evening she'd ever had.

She made the hot cocoa she promised him earlier and called him to join her at the living area. Henry was sleeping already, so maybe, they could talk a bit without the baby acting as a buffer.

"He is so beautiful, I think I could watch him sleep for hours" he said and sat down next to her on the couch. Taking his phone out of his pocket and placing it on the coffee table, then grabbing his cup of cocoa.

"I know what you mean, I think I've done that" she admitted giggling "when he was smaller, I think I watched him for hours" he smiled keeping his eyes on the crib that was sitting across the loft. "It's a shame you couldn't meet him when he was born. He was so tiny, but so much hair on his head" she giggled again with the memory.

"I have to confess, love. I did meet him the day he was born". He said sounding serious, she was about to sip her cup of cocoa and she stopped half way…Wait, what?

"You did? How? Where?" she inquired trying to make sense to what he just confessed.

"I went to the hospital…Did you really think I could stay away?" she couldn't think of an answer "I saw him through the glass of the babies ward. Tink showed him to me, no one else saw me"

"I waited for you" she admitted almost in a whisper. He looked surprised.

"What do you mean?" he asked putting his cup on the coffee table and turning around on his seat to face her.

"That night, I was so sure you were coming, and I waited for you. But you never showed up" her eyes filling with tears, remembering how hopeless she felt back then, how lost and lonely she still feels. He frowned, concerned in his eyes.

"What have we done to each other?" he contemplated. And with that question the first tear traveled down her face. He reached out to clean it with the back of his hand "I'm here now, I love Henry as if he was my own, Swan. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here for the two of you, whatever you need" but what if what she needs is him? She wishes she could ask him exactly what she needs right now, she needs him to stay the night, to sleep with her, for him to hold her hand all night long, for him to be there when she opens her eyes. Should she ask? Should she say what was on her mind since the moment she saw him again. When she left him, she asked him to look for her when he finds again the man she fell in love with, has he found him? Because if this is the Killian she fell in love with or the Killian she left behind, she doesn't care anymore, they are both the same person, and she loves him. But before she complicates anything with her feelings she needs to reassure him about Henry.

"I've got to admit that doing all of this parenting by myself is empowering, it is a lot and I can do it. But I can admit that I will appreciate the help, and I'm so happy that Henry has you. He is not your blood, but I won't insult you by saying he is not your responsibility, because I know you. You were with me since day one, since the day I found out he was coming, you held my hair when I threw up, you went out in the middle of the night for any craving I had, you bought almost everything Henry owns and I wish he could sleep in the beautiful crib you bought for him. I was never going to speak to Henry about Neal, but I've been talking to him about you since the day he was born, and I'm so happy you are back into his life, and that you want to be in it" tears were running freely now down her face, her speech became a passionate one, and Killian looked surprised, he wasn't expecting such a speech for sure. Then he smiled.

"I'm sorry it took me so long, love" he said with a smile and Emma laugh while cleaning her tears "come here" he said before pulling her to him and hugging her tight "You look too sad, Swan. Cheer up" he said caressing her hair and she melted in his embrace, closing her eyes enjoying every second of it. Then his phone started ringing "ignore it" he said. But she looked at it, it was really close to her and the screen said 'Her'.

"It's her" she announced out loud. A cold shiver ran through her body, and every sensation and emotion she was having one second ago was gone.

"What?" he said separating his body from hers turning towards the phone to grab it. Of course he has a 'Her', anyone would be lucky to have him, she is the only one crazy enough to let him go. She feels numb, this is why she's been sad all day long, things were too good to be truth. He canceled the call and turned the phone off "that's not important" then he turned around to look at her, and she tried to look ok with this situation, failing of course because Killian looked worried or something she couldn't really name.

"It's ok if you need to take that call….I…I'm…"

"It's not what you think" he said frowning.

"You don't have to explain"

"I know, but it is not what you think" he repeated. So she went for it.

"So the person who is calling you is not someone you've been seeing these past months? Because that's what it seems like, and it's ok, we are not together, we have not been together for a while" she lied, because it is not ok, it is never going to be ok, but who is she to say something, she left him. He looked at her straight in the eyes, but he said nothing, and she understood she hit the mark. And her mind conjured an image of Killian walking around town with some woman and Henry, this is a nightmare. He passed a hand over his face.

"I'm not seeing her anymore" that was his choice of words. So he isn't seeing her anymore, but he was.

"You don't have to explain" she said but she wanted an explanation, she wanted to know who this person is, how long they were together, how long it took him to find someone else after they broke up, if he is not with this woman why is she calling, why did they break up, does she knows he has a son with her, a son that has not his blood, but is his nonetheless. Who is her? How does she looks like, did he love her, does she loves him. So many questions ran through her mind so fast that it was giving her a headache.

Killian grabbed his cup back and took a big sip from it. She just looked at him, she has considered that he might have met someone, that he has a girlfriend, anyone would be lucky to have him, but it was a shock nonetheless. The little tiny bit of intimacy they were having a minute ago was gone and there was no getting back, not tonight.

After a few minutes of silence, and after he drank the rest of the content of his cup he said "Maybe I should go"

"Right…Are you staying at Granny's?" she asked him trying to sound casual, while they were walking towards the door.

"For now, tomorrow I'll start looking for a place" he said, the easiness of the whole evening was gone.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow" she said opening the door. He stood there looking at her, unmoving.

After a few seconds he walked out and turned around when he was outside "I missed you" he said and she took a deep breath lost I his eyes.

"I missed you too, good night" she replied then closed the door and leaned back into it. Now she couldn't take away from her mind this faceless woman who was most likely calling him to get him back. Who wouldn't? Not everyone makes the same mistakes she does. She should have gone back to that apartment when she had a chance, now she is not so sure she does.