AN: I needed this. That's literally my only excuse. What? My impulse control ran into traffic and got run over. Fight me. (At your peril, I'm fragile and you'll look like a real asshole for beating up the frail girl.)

McStaken--.- Humph. Antoine, by the time they leave Gotham, is unflappable. That tends to happen when a giant bat-monster nearly grabs your boss out of an airship for reasons unknown (vengeance? food for its monster children? Antoine has not a clue).

AndAnotherOneBitesTheDust-Haha I'm glad you're enjoying it! And yes, Jason is...mostly fine. Y'know. For him.

Truth be told, once you get past the whole 'can leave a roomful of trained soldiers moaning in pain or unconscious' thing, the Knight's not a bad guy. Seriously, he's not. Yeah, you will get the shit beat out of you if you're dumb enough to volunteer for demonstrations, but then you get to learn how to do the same thing. That, and they get mattresses-actual fucking mattresses, not the lumpy pieces of crap Antoine remembers. (Still has nightmares about those things…somebody got impaled on a spring once. Seriously, rolled over and got a spring through the stomach. Guy lived, but ow.)

Antoine loves the mattresses. If he thought he could get away with it, he'd kiss the Knight full on the…well, there's the helmet, but…the mouth-section. He'd probably really regret trying, but still. The sentiment is real.

But it's not just the mattresses, or the actual, edible meals. It's not even the did-you-learn-from-some-ancient-Ninja-clan training. It's just…Knight's a decent guy. Most of the time. There's a couple'a dates that everyone knows you avoid him on (somethin' must've happened, Antoine doesn't wanna know), and there's been one or two assholes that thought harassing some girl was a great idea (it wasn't), but by and large, you do your job, good things happen to you.

Which is why he's corralled the other guys that have been here from the get-go, when they were just a handful of guys wondering what the hell was with that helmet. They still wonder, a little (is his face burned off? Horribly mutilated? Is he Darth Vader? Who fuckin' knows.), but it doesn't really matter anymore.

"…boss is in Stress Central lately." Mark's sayin', cheek swollen with that fuckin' gum that Antoine is semi-convinced has been there for years. "More he talks to that Scarecrow guy, more worked up he gets."

Yeah, no shit. That's why they're here. The Knight's been testier than usual, more brutal than he used to be. Not like they ever get off easy, but there's been a couple times…

"What do we do, then, huh? You wanna go ask 'im what's up?"

Nobody volunteers for that one. Antoine's…pretty sure…nothing will come of it, but then again…

This Gotham job, man. This is what's done it. And they're in too deep to get out now, all paid and everything. Not that Antoine wants to get out. Exactly. Much.

(Okay, yeah, he's seen Scarecrow once, and he doesn't know if that's a mask or what, but brr.)

But still. They've never protested before, if they weren't in like sin they might be able to get out of it on that alone.

Dammit.

"Any better ideas?"

Silence, punctuated only by the SCHLOP-SCHLOP of that goddamn gum. How Mark hasn't been murdered over it is beyond Antoine. Seriously. Dude. Did your mom never tell you it was a filthy habit?

His fingers twitch with the urge to slap him upside the head, maybe make him choke on that glob of shit. But then he'd have to explain to the Knight that 'I accidentally killed my teammate'. And the guy will know. There will be no 'I don't know, he choked outta nowhere'.

"Nope."

How helpful.

"Thanks, asshole."

"Love you too, best buddy of mine." Jimmy slings an arm around his shoulders and plants a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Antoine smacks him off. "I thought we had somethin' special, man. That hurts."

Why. Why him, why this. It's times like these that makes Antoine think he should've opened a flower shop in Barcelona and just been happy with that. But noo, here he is, surrounded by idiots and preparing to invade Gotham Fuckin' City.

"Fuck off." he snaps. "Unless you turn into George Clooney, it's not gonna fly. Now seriously, c'mon, guys, somebody's gotta have ideas."

"We've been runnin' nonstop for weeks. My brain is fried."

And just like that, the light bulb appears.

In hindsight, this may not have been the greatest idea.

Or at least, they could have planned it a little better. Maybe. Y'know.

But it's too late now, and Antoine is standing outside the Knight's quarters, fist raised to knock. He doesn't want to. He doesn't know how he got roped into being the one to do this. But it's either knock, or go back to the guys in shame and never hear the end of it.

Or be dragged back here by force and held and at sniper-point until he knocks on the damn door.

Me 'n my bright ideas, he moans inwardly. Good-bye, flower shop.

"Are you going to knock or not?" comes the mechanical growl, and SHIT that thing sees through doors? Well, he knew it saw through doors, kinda, but he didn't realize the Knight had it on. Crap.

He knocks anyway and is probably imagining the amusement in the responding, "Come in."

He's only actually been inside a handful of times, and only then in emergencies. It doesn't look any different than theirs, 'cept for the tech station on the far wall. Maybe the helmet needs charging at night, like a phone?

The Knight is over there, tapping on a laptop. Uh-oh.

"Did you need something." Amusement's gone now. This could go…badly.

"Somethin's goin' on in the cafeteria that you need to come see." he says in one breath. "Sir."

"Handle it, I'm busy."

"Uh, Sir, you really need to…come…see. I mean. I uh, tried. To handle it."

There's a sigh, more tapping, and the gentle clip of the laptop being closed. Yes.

They trek across the compound to the cafeteria in silence. The Knight pushes the door open, muttering about idiots left alone, and absolutely freezes when there's a shout of "HAPPY BOSS'S DAY!"

Antoine wonders, just for a second, if he could push the man over like a short-circuited drone, palm flat in just the right spot.

Some wise-ass in the back whispers, "I think we broke him."

Somebody else smacks said wise-ass in the back of the head.

The Knight unglitches unfreezes and twists up to look at the streamers. They're not really streamers so much as they're a lot of napkins doused in food coloring and tied together, but they turned out not bad anyway.

"What."

Well. At least he's not broken.

"We, uh, didn't know when your birthday was or anything, but you've been off for weeks so me 'n the guys thought maybe this'd cheer you up and I'm really sorry for draggin' you out but-"

Antoine shuts up when the Knight holds up a hand.

"Lemme get this straight. You lot managed to hide this from me for how long?"

"'Bout a week."

More silence, and a breath through the mask that might translate to, "Oh my god." Then, "I'm impressed."

So is Antoine, to be perfectly honest.

"Thank you, sir."

There's another breath that sounds more like a laugh and a, "You're not planning a mutiny, are you?"

"No, sir."

"Is this even a day? Or did you make it up."

"It's really early, sir, but it's a day. I mean, it's in October, but seein' as we're gonna be kinda busy…"

"Mm. You, uh, you did good."

Antoine hears that for what it is-stop me from talking I have no idea what to say here HELP-and takes pity.

"We got movies, if you can spare a couple of hours…"

The Knight tilts his head in Antoine's direction.

"I think I can spare a couple of hours."

Mission accomplished.

THE END