POLL RESULTS:
I can pimp slap (blank) whenever I want!
Orihime: Nine. (She'd probably apologize to ya if you said her face hurt your hand…)
Aizen: Four.
Mayuri: Two.
Renji: Two.
Kenpatchi: Two. (Good luck!)
Keigo: One.
Byakuya: One. (Screw his pretty face up, neh? His Mafia might get ya, just be warned.)
Senna: One.
Unohana: One.
Charlotte Cuuhlhourne: One. (If "Feathers" doesn't beat ya to it first…)
Tite Kubo: One. (uhh…)
MOST UNIMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE EVER!:Wow, I'm not sure how I like this chapter… so before reading, please put on some awesome dance music and enjoy (or not…)
What can I say? I'm afraid of this chapter… for good reason…
GAMES
Foul
-Rukia—
Smiling as Orihime and Rangiku squabble gently over powdered cheese chips covered in white chocolate, Rukia leans back into Rangiku's leather couch.
It had been a while since Rukia had been able to spend time with her friends and not just her "boyfriend" that was always pestering his way into her life…
Finally, when Orihime and Rangiku had sorted out the chips in which both saw even, the questions began.
"How close are you to bringing down Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime asked, her eyes still a bit sad at his name, but she chomped down on a chip anyway.
Rukia shrugs off the question, yawning before answering dully, "I can't really tell with this one. He's different from the others…"
"Different?" Rangiku says, raising an eyebrow at her own question.
Fighting off the need to squirm at Rangiku's tone of voice, Rukia answers bored as ever.
"Yeah, different. The others seemed more desperate, like if they didn't find an 'eternal soul mate' soon, they never would."
Orihime eats another chip as Rangiku continues the interrogation.
"So is he falling for you?"
Rukia sighs at the continual probing of this relationship that would make or break her reputation.
"I can't say yet, he's too hidden. I need to know what he's trying to hide before I can make him do anything, let alone 'fall.'"
Orihime smiles at this, swallowing the chips in her mouth and whipping away the line of white chocolate on the side of her lips.
"Yeah, because Rukia never falls in love!"
Rukia falls silent and bows her head before looking Orihime in the eyes, her voice full of the harshest winter's ice and coldness.
"Correction, Orihime. Rukia never falls in love again."
And right before Orihime can respond, Rangiku squeals at her phone, apparently reading a text message from the small screen.
"Tonight only! Ladies night at Club Hueco Mundo! Ladies get in free from nine to eleven!" Rangiku practically sings, Rukia seeing the fire of flirting dance behind her friend's eyes.
"Who's in?"
Rukia sighs at Rangiku's suggestion as Orihime immediately perks up for a night of dancing.
"Come on, Ru-Ru!" The strawberry blonde pouts, now motioning for Orihime to join as Rukia's two friends beg for her to join.
Heaving a sigh, Rukia mumbles agreement as her friends run off to decorate each other for the night.
"Rukia should wear this!"
"Then you put on those shoes!"
"And I'll do your hair like that one time!"
Squeals, laughter, and Rukia knows it's going to be a long night.
-Ichigo—
"How's taking down the queen of ice?" Renji asks before throwing down the video game controller in frustration as Ishida merely pushes his glasses further up his nose.
Ichigo turns the page in the medical journal at hand, waiting for Renji's growls to calm down before answering.
"It's harder than I thought. She's not like the others-"
And before Ichigo can even finish his sentence, Renji interrupts.
"Not like the others? So what! It's not that hard! Just make her fall in love with ya!"
"Make her fall in love the same way it worked for you and her, huh?" Ishida asks Renji, who now turns onto Ishida with a confused look.
"But I didn't make her fall in love with me…" Renji says, a bit defeated.
"Exactly." Ishida says, continuing before Renji can jump down his throat with, "So why do you think it would be so easy for him?"
Ichigo smirks as Renji tries to explain himself to the smarter of the two.
"Because it's always been so easy before… and if Ichigo falls in love…"
"I don't fall in love." Ichigo snaps, now locking eyes with Renji, "I never fall in love."
Ichigo knows Renji isn't very good with change. Jumping from place to place as a foster child always had him on edge for any sort of change, and the fact that Ichigo doesn't know if he'll take Rukia down is most likely scaring the hell out of him. So, Ichigo does the only thing he can to comfort his friend, and puts on the cockiest smile he can.
"I don't fall in love, Renji. You know that as much as I do, so you better have that 50,000 yen ready for me when you see her teary eyed on campus."
Renji smiles at Ichigo's statement, but now growls again as the red head turns his attention to Ishida.
"Another rematch! There is no way you can be this good at video games when all you do is sow shitty clothes and study!"
Ichigo hears Ishida sigh as he reaches for the controller.
"If I've already played and beaten you thirteen times, how good will a fourteenth be?"
"You've been counting!" Renji howls as Ishida's character lands another punch to Renji's.
Ichigo smiles lightly at the display of stupidity as his phone vibrates from his back pocket.
Reaching into his jeans, he pulls out his phone to frown at the unknown and blocked number the text message is linked to.
Opening it anyway, Ichigo reads, 'Tonight only! Ladies night at Club Hueco Mundo! Ladies get in free from nine to eleven!'
"Hey Renji, what time is it?" Ichigo asks after hearing Renji's tantrum from losing.
"Nine fifty-five."
Ichigo mulls over the text. Ladies night would mean more people (of both male and female decent) for a club evening, let alone how funny it was to watch Renji get drunk off his ass and flirt with women and sometimes men on accident…
"Hey Renji, Ishida, we're going to a club."
"Finally!" Renji growls, putting away the gaming equipment.
"And who says I'm willing to go?" Ishida turns to Ichigo, a looks of disapproval on his face.
"Then don't!" Renji loudly interrupts Ichigo, who gives him a glare to shut up his loud friend before addressing the other.
"I know you're going." Ichigo replies smartly, standing up and stretching in Renji's living room before answering. "You're going because I know you where making a shirt that would look good under black lights. Test it out tonight."
Ichigo almost smirks at Ishida's face, thoughtful on the question of going before nodding once.
-Rukia—
'Hell. No.' Rukia thinks, mulling over her image in the long mirror, wondering out of the three girls staring back, two of them looked normal and one of them looked ridiculous.
Rangiku was dressed in some florescent pink, breast bearing shirt, her legs covered in tight leather pants and wearing black strappy stilettos.
Orihime, Rukia had deemed, was also in club appropriate wear. A yellow sequined, thigh length skirt with a simple black tank top with splatters of white as a design, and a cute pair of yellow and white low heels on her feet.
So why did she have to look like a freak?
Tight white capris pants where pared with a white, corset looking top with a sequined black, English gentlemanly looking jacket…
Great.
"Let's go!" Rangiku shouts, pulling out her car keys.
"Hell no!" Rukia cheers as well, now scowling and pointing to her reflection. "I look like a whore!"
Rangiku blinks a few times before answering.
"I fail to see the problem here…"
Rukia growls at her friend, forcing herself to unclench her fists.
"You gave me dark eye lining make up crap, screwed my hair up, and made cleavage I didn't think I even had!"
Rangiku now raises an eyebrow at her.
"We're leaving and you're coming and that's that."
Rukia sighs as Orihime cheers and leads the way out of Rangiku's place as the said owner drags Rukia outside and practically pushes her into the car.
-Ichigo—
The three boys arrive to the entrance after a ten minute walk to the destination.
Ichigo's scowl increases at the scantily dressed women giggling their way into the club as the men line up for their paid entrance.
"He's paying for me." Ichigo says casually as he heads on in, watching Ishida pull the same move as Renji yells at the two "BASTARDS!" to "GET BACK HERE AND PAY FOR YOURSELVES, DAMMIT!"
Blinding lights, deafening rap and techno music, and people too drunk to care who they're making out with wasn't Ichigo's ideal scene…
…But it was sure fun as hell to watch people make complete idiots out of themselves…
"SHOTS!" Ichigo hears Renji yelling halfway to the bar, listening to the loud redhead who was gaining on him, still yelling, "SHOTS! I NEED SOME SHOTS!"
Ichigo smiles slightly at his friend's behavior and notices Ishida had gone AWOL on them as Renji orders and three small glasses are put on the table.
"Why three? Ishida's not here…" Ichigo asks hesitantly, picking one of the small glasses up before watching Renji down one.
"Because I get two!"
Ichigo shakes his head while Renji shoots the other, now taking his own drink to his mouth.
Swallowing the drink in which could only be described as liquid shit, he glances the dance floor…
And Ichigo almost chokes on air.
Orihime, Rang-something, and a midget that kills everything happiness touches are on their way to the bar…
With this in mind, Ichigo orders another shot.
-Rukia—
A grin similar to the Cheshire cat appears on Rukia's face.
The orange hair that blazes through the sea of black could only be one person.
"Thanks sweetie, you must know I love these." Rukia says, drinking the shot down and almost laughing at the shocked and angry expression on her "boyfriend's" face.
"What the hell are you doing here?" He asks, and Rukia pulls a mock expression of hurt onto her face as Rangiku and Orihime order something fruity.
"Why honey cakes, I thought I could come here if I wanted to…" The voice of hurt wears off as Rukia now smirks at her dimwitted companion. "Or are you the over protective type?"
Rukia won't admit it, but the cocky, oh-so-knowing chuckle makes her want to slap him…
…And laugh with him.
"Over protective? Over you? Please."
"Oh really?" Rukia says, an idea coming to mind as Renji saunters over to the group, making comments of good looking ladies…
"Renji, let's dance."
Grinning at Renji, who's shocked expression turns into one of happiness lets her lead him to the dance floor and a new type of game begins.
-Ichigo—
Not knowing who to be angry with, Ichigo scowls as he tries to makes his decision.
Renji, the bastard, had given Ichigo a quick grin and thumbs up as Rukia lead him to the floor and processed to –ehm- "dance" with him.
Rukia, the damn dwarf, had offered herself as the forbidden fruit that Renji was now partaking of, as the two continued to –ehm- "dance" together.
Dance his ass! She was practically on top of him!
So, downing a couple more shots and his mind made up, Ichigo now walks over to the couple who couldn't fit a sheet of paper between them as he makes quick work in stealing Rukia away.
-Rukia—
Whiplashed from the sudden pick up, dragging, and now in the middle of the heated dance floor, Rukia now faces her kidnapper with a grin and a death glare.
"Couldn't let me have fun, eh, over protective boyfriend of mine?"
The said boy raises an eyebrow before huffing out an answer.
"Please, who said you could have fun without me? I am fun."
At this, Rukia laughs, only increasing in volume as she watches the face of the boy in front of her.
"Please! You can't be fun because you can't dance, remember?"
And now Rukia knows she screwed as Ichigo takes a step closer to her and whispers in her ear,
"Oh really now?"
-Ichigo—
He wouldn't admit it to himself and he sure as hell wouldn't admit it to her, but Rukia was looking too… nice tonight.
The make up shit she was wearing made her eyes stand out against her otherwise untouched skin, and the tight pants with the top that was…
Uhh…
Okay, so nice was an understatement.
She was hot as hell.
…So Ichigo couldn't blame himself for compulsively leaning into her and whispering, "Oh really now?"
He swears he can feel her shudder from his breath, but that could just be the fact that they were currently being jumbled around…
And so they dance…
Hesitantly at first, their bodies skimming each other as they face the other, smiling wickedly at the maliciousness of their actions before it suddenly goes into a turn for the worse as Rukia turns and presses her back against his firm chest.
And only when Ichigo realizes what she's done it's too late…
…He's enjoying himself too much to stop the now intense grinding she had lead them into…
…
What was that about a "No Dancing" rule?
-Rukia—
She doesn't know what's happened, but she can't stop herself from rubbing her body against his, front-to -front, front-to-back… hell, she'd rub him side-to-side if she had to…
Maybe it was because Rangiku had given her a bottle that she didn't know what was in it (making a mental note of never doing something that stupid again) but right now, dancing widely was the best thing in the world.
Besides… Ichigo didn't seem to mind.
-Ichigo—
Maybe it was minutes, or hours, or years of endless nights, but finally Ichigo had gotten a breather as he and Rukia sat down on an empty couch that lined the walls of the massive dance floor.
Her small fingers kept tracing invisible patterns into the palms of his hands, something that he was getting used to. Her fingernails gently scraping and almost tickling his palms as the two silently watched the constantly pulsating night club.
Not saying anything and not having to was something Ichigo was grateful for, because this night was dry humping his mind…
"Rukia! Kurosaki-kun! How are you?"
Ichigo turned his head to the overly cheery voice, otherwise known as…
"Orihime, how are you?"
"I'm fine! I just had a mango margarita with!-" and she was off, rambling about her alcoholic choices as she gently swayed on the spot…
Stealing a glance at the small raven haired girl beside him, he noticed how intensely she was watching her friend, and now started to pay attention to what she was saying…
"So I was wondering if we could do a double date sometime when Rukia breaks up with you and leaves you crying like a walrus pup and-"
"If Rukia breaks up with me, I'd love to." Ichigo says, waiting for a reaction from either girl when he swears he can hear a light growl come from somewhere…
Feeling something on his thigh, he realizes Rukia's put her leg across one of his… almost like she was marking her territory…
And Ichigo smiles at the thought he'll tell her later…
…When they're not so drunk that they'll forget it.
-Rukia—
Yes, something must have happened to her head.
Maybe her mother had been a drinker while she was in nine months of forming, or maybe she was dropped on her head as an infant, or maybe she just had too much alcohol in her system to be rational.
Because getting a piggy back ride from someone who could possibly fall over at any second was a dipshit stupid idea.
Yes, a piggy back ride from a drunken Ichigo Kurosaki was stupid, but what was even more stupid was trying to offer him one first only leading to him rebel and pick her up instead.
So laughing at the spinning world and Ichigo's staggers as he yells at her to "Shut up, midget!", she continues to taunt him before placing her forehead in between his shoulder blades and wondering where it was when she trusted him to carry her drunk ass and his own to the subway station.
Needless to say, she's as confused as Ichigo is when a police officer wakes them up at four in the morning, flashlight in hand and wondering what they were doing sleeping in a park.
Rukia checks to see that both of them are still as fully clothed as they had been the previous night as she sleepily answers the cop.
"We where stargazing."
THANKS TO:
Ashi Altair: Don't worry, Zangestu actually is pretty important to this story, so he'll be back in here sometime before the end. :)
Falconrukichi: Awh, thanks! I'm glad to give ya your daily laughter dose today! :D
Amehosi141: You can pimp slap anyone, even Senna… but why her?
.: Yes, we all miss Isshin, but he'll be back for sure!
Merisela: Haha! Kissing? Kissing is against the rules! They shall NEVA KISS! BWAHAHA!
SmOrOnPwNs: Yes, maybe Rukia is a kid porn star… we will never know… And yeay for pimp slaps!
Black Sun Upon An Ice Sky: Awh, haha! I'm glad you liked the improv, it was fun to write!
KuroKuchiki: He's bored and board and whatever else… I think I was too tired to care… sorry… but thanks for reviewing and voting!
Blissbeat: Thanks for your review!
Rukes: Yeay for an update… and yeay for your pimp slap vote!
Mikazuki Mitsukai: Haha, yes! Ichigo is now pregnant with an evil twin brother as well… I think we should all be afraid… o.O It was MAYURI'S FAULT! BLAHH!
Lemonorangevanilladrops: Holy crap, you got kicked out of class because of me? O.o Should I be sorry or honored? I'll be both. Sorry my story makes you laugh! :D And thanks for reviewing the last chapter as well! :D Good luck with your paper!
Sallythedistoryerofwords23: Haha, thanks for reviewing and voting TEAM PIMP SLAP AIZEN! Yeay!
Chappygrl: Renji is your bitch? How'd that happen and how do I get one? ;) When will they start liking each other? Never! It's against the rules! Number one says "Don't fall in love", remember? ;)
BleachOrcalover13: Awh, thanks! I'm glad it's meeting your fancy!
Agslilover: Your boyfriend… oh dear! Do tell me more about pimp slapping this boy!
Me Cake: He's not saying that it's a women's fault if a man does terrible at his job or what not, just that all literature branches from them. ;) And more about Zangestu's women hating will be revealed, don't worry. ;)
Sugardragon: I know! We need Rukia again. :( And thanks for your review and vote!
Wildflower: Awh, thanks! I'm glad my story makes ya laugh! And yes, I like stories where you SEE the relationship progress, so thanks for commenting on that. :)
DeeDubb: Pimp slap Byakuya? AwHAHAHA! Awesome! Thanks for reviewing and such! :D
Snizlefritz: Haha, wow, so that last chapter was good, neh? Wow, I think everyone liked that one… A LOT.
1290r5: Dude, because you're a guy gives you ten times more reason to pimp slap someone! You ARE the supposed pimp! And yes, I think I will make Byakuya and Isshin meet. :)
Chappy-Is-Mine: Holy cow, pimp slap enough people? I think so!
Goku's Daughter: Yes, Orihime needs to either buck up or die… I don't know if she could do anything else but those two options… so yeah… :)
Applestoapples: Haha! Well welcome to fanfiction AND to the wanna pimp slap Aizen group!
Kayleeh1994: Wow! Crying from laughing? That's an awesome unknown compliment to me! Thanks! :D
Ruriri: Wow, emo and Rukia? … It could work. :D Zangestu's "women" problem will be revealed, don't worry. :)
Anime-lover-2401: When? He is a surprise, but he will be here within a few chapters, so stay tuned and thanks for reviewing!
BlacknWhiteCheckers: Actually, I'm thinking of having Zangestu and Shirayuki meet, so yeah… :)
Billy ftw: Dude, welcome to fanfiction! And thanks for reviewing and such!
Justpink: Pure win? How is win "unpure?" Oh well, thanks for reviewing AND voting anyway!
LeyCoo: Haha! I've done that and it SUCKS because than you're looking for them for FOREVER! -.- sad day…
Youtubesam: Haha, I'm like McDonalds? I make people obese… :( …Haha! No! NO LEMONS! Wow, I think this chapter is as close as it gets… I'm not a lemony person… :/
Miss Bunnie Chan: Pyon? Mm… I must try this Pyon out sometime… Wow… ;)
Kesu25: Awh, thanks for your review! And yes, the water is warming just so it can go ice cold again! Yeay!
Eelgirl13: I try to update on time, but like today, I'm a few day/s off. :/ I mostly do it so I'll remember to update… hahahahaha… 0.o thanks for reviewing anyway!
Azraelean: Daaaang… You must have something to pimp slap Kenny and Unohana! … Maybe an insanity plea would help you against them and their BAN-FREAKIN'-KAI? Haha! Thanks for revewing!
Ricejames: Yes! Free dunkin' dounguts and the cops leave you alone? … You must have tested this strategy out before using it, neh?
_: Dude, Keigo would freakin' LET you pimp slap him if you're a female! Bwahaha!
Vreni: Pimp slap is a nicer way of saying bitch slap… basically, who'd you slap because you rule over them… and thanks for reviewing if not chapter nineteen, than twenty. :D
Cridle: Yeay for pimping guys who would kill you if it actually happened! :D
Review and subscribe please! Thanks for ALL the subscriptions, reviews and favs so far!
NEXT CHAPTER due Sunday! (Because everyone got pimp slapped and must now recover…)
Review if you want to wake up hung over after sleeping in a park with Ichigo or Rukia!
POLL QUESTION: Fill in the blank!
(blank) is my favorite chapter because of (blank)
Sorry, too tired to think of anything clever… -.-'