Chapter 21: So, Who's Got A Driver's License?

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The budget is reviewed, and Cloud notices an issue.

And so goes to drastic measures in order to cut down on budget.

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It's been a while! A long while. So here you go!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective franchises. The usual.

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It had come to Cloud's attention that . . . most of the SOLDIERs had no idea how to drive.

They were spending a ton of Gil hiring drivers or the Turks got pulled out of assignments to transport SOLDIERs to missions outside of Midgar.

This had come up during the monthly meeting, which consisted of them mulling through old budgets reports to see where most of their finances were getting sucked up by.

Lazard was oddly absent from the meeting, meaning when they came across the expense labelled 'Transport' for the SOLDIER budget, Sephiroth was of no help. Lazard was the one who handled expenses, Sephiroth assigned SOLDIERs to missions based on their past accomplishments and rank.

Keith tracked Lazard down the next day and asked him why the Transport expense was so large, and Lazard broke it down for him.

The 'Transport' expense was for fuel, vehicles and drivers.

When Lazard gave a copy of an old expense report, one that was made before he submitted the final report to the budgeting department, it showed how the cost was broken down between the three variables.

Vehicles wasn't as much, the amount covering damages and the occasional rental fee if they had to use a vehicle that wasn't owned by the company.

Fuel, was understandable. Given the area the SOLDIERs had to cover, it was pretty hefty.

But what was weird, was that the drivers fee, was almost the same as the fuel cost. Sometimes even higher when Lazard let Keith go through other reports.

When they pursued the matter further, it was then that Cloud found out that the company had been hiring drivers, almost every mission that required transport, it was a hired driver at the wheel, or on the odd occasion, a Turk was driving. Which meant they got pulled out of their own missions, which cost the company further as those Turks got a bit of a bonus for doing overtime.

Sephiroth hadn't a clue as to why his SOLDIERs were using hired drivers, he didn't see it as a problem, he thought it was other Shinra staff that were transport drivers.

It was then that Omael, who had popped by for a spot of a lunch and a chat over coffee, that raised the question that solved their dilemma.

"Do the SOLDIERs know how to drive?"

Keith, who had the most interaction with the cadet instructors, besides the higher FIrst Class SOLDIERs, then realised, that there were no driving classes in the cadet program.

The cadets that entered were typically around thirteen, which meant they wouldn't typically have much driving experience at all, and those that were snapped up by the Turks were the only ones that actually got taught how to drive at all.

"Alright, that's it. We're having driving lessons. All the SOLDIERs. I don't care if we have to postpone missions, no one gets assigned anything until they can pass a basic drivers test." Cloud snarled and finished his sandwich (which was goddamn delicious) before diving for his computer to send out a company wide email.

He was already in a foul mood given the barrage of scam calls they had gotten the past few weeks, which had been dealt with the gracious help of the Turks, but that's a story for another day.

Keith was already writing up a list of employees in the company that he was certain knew how to drive, adding his two boys on the list, as he knew they had to have a full license as a requirement to be a police officer.

He vividly remembered the drive to the Costa del Sol station, and he had sort of rummaged through their wallets to find out who the heck he had gone home with that night the morning after. Plus they did drop him off at the hotel later on.

Once he had the list written up, roughly fifteen people, he went on a hunt to go confirm they actually did have current licenses.

It would be easier to give them some bonus pay to supervise instead of hiring proper instructors outside of the company, plus a lot cheaper.

By the time Cloud had sent out the mass email informing the staff of the current situation, and assigned the SOLDIERs to obtain a driver's manual, one book to each dorm to study up on, Keith had wrangled ten employees to help out.

He was sure Shiro and Lance wouldn't mind either, Lance was kind of a back seat driver and Shiro was strict as heck.

They gave the SOLDIERs a week to study up, Keith along with Cloud began to write up a basic theory test the SOLDIERs would have to sit, if they got less than 33 out of 35, they didn't pass and couldn't move onto the practical.

Shiro and Lance were more than happy to help the SOLDIERs study the drivers manual, posting the times they were available for questions as an attachment to the initial email regarding the driving issue.

They pretty much got swamped and had to borrow a lecture room, having a two hour session each day for a week, for the general questions and small quizzes to see if the information was sinking in.

By the time the real test came about, the SOLDIERs were all nervous as heck, shivering like Shiva was in their presence, Shiro and Lance giving them encouragement as they all entered the test stations.

To save paper and to prevent cheating, the test was done on computers, multiple choice questions or true and false. They had 30 minutes to complete the test, the computer labs being converted into testing stations.

Keith and his janitors had spent the whole day before setting up the computer labs into the testing stations, blocking off each computer so that one would have to physically move their chair and lean back to see the screen of the computer next to theirs, which would prevent cheating.

Each room had a supervisor, telling the testees the rules and making sure no one cheated, another employee would be watching the main monitor which would show each computer in the room, the progress and the scores. The IT department had whipped up a quick program especially for the tests, Cloud made a reminder to himself to give them a bonus and extra vacation days.

The employee watching the monitor would make a note of the time and score when a testee finished, and would pass the results along.

By the end of all the testing, roughly 70% of the SOLDIERs had passed.

A pretty decent number, Cloud then did clarify to the 30% that didn't pass (be it by a small or large margin) that they could attempt the test again in another week. During that week, they would be put back onto assignments, as those were still rolling in. If they didn't pass the test a second time, no worries, they could attempt the tests as many times as they liked.

The ones that did pass, would be able to take small supervised lessons that they had to apply for, to get to know the vehicles as well as drive them. They would be put on only local assignments, ones that could be completed in a day if they had applied for a lesson two days in advance.

Once each applicant, as they only had a limited number of vehicles and limited supervisors, felt confident in their driving, they could apply for the practical test.

No one applied for the practical test in the first week, which was expected.

The SOLDIERs were more meant for fighting on their feet, what use did they have for driving?

Some were actually quite unmotivated, until Cloud gave them an example as to why it would be beneficial to learn how to drive.

Cloud, Reno and Vincent went out to the nearest monster infested roads, the two Turks filming as Cloud showed his finesse and skill in driving, while pretty much annihilating the poor naive creatures that thought he was a fine target (given he sort of masked his overbearing presence, he was baiting them).

He attached the video to an email sent to the entire SOLDIER department, subject: This is why you should learn to drive, and the entire department imploded.

The applications for the practical test flooded in, so much that the supervisors for the test were starting to regret helping out.

Cloud gave them more vacation days and a pay rise.

He could afford it, as long as the bloody SOLDIERs could drive themselves to missions.

Naturally, the SOLDIER's had rushed in a bit too quickly, 9 out of 11 tests would end in failure, not really a hopeful result.

Cloud then made it a rule, SOLDIERs have had to attend at least 3 supervised lessons before attempting the test.

Most had only gone to one, so the lessons dragged on.

It went a little quicker when the Turks offered their assistance.

For a fee of course.

Keith and Tseng did have a discussion about who could offer up lessons, and who could apply for those lessons. It ended up being SOLDIERs who had received good comments on their lessons and had passed with a full 35/35 score could be approached if they wanted to have private lessons.

Turks who had had least 2 years of driving experience and didn't have any pending assignments could offer lessons, except for Reno.

No one wanted to think how Reno would plan his lesson.

The SOLDIERs that got offered lessons, snapped those up in an instant, but after the fourth traumatic lesson . . .

The Turks found their lessons being in demand less and less.

The few that decided to try (they had nothing to lose) actually did pretty well, passing their practical test with flying colours.

But the other SOLDIERs thought the trauma wasn't worth the result, and so kept applying and taking the lessons the normal staff supervised. Cloud just at this point transferred them over and made a new department, dedicated to driving.

Four months passed, the entire department of SOLDIER had all passed the theory test, and 30% had their learners license; which meant they could only drive cars.

Those that had been taught by Turks gained a restricted, meaning they could attempt the full license test.

If they wanted to have a motorbike license, they had to at least have a restricted before even attempting the theory test.

Genesis turned out to be a rather calm driver, but if you pissed him off he would fly into total road rage. Thankfully he wasn't allowed to carry materia in his car (yes, he bought one, in crimson red of course, what do you take him for), so there were no fire related casualties, just some minor trauma from his onslaught of yelling and general shrieking.

Angeal . . . Angeal didn't really want to drive. He was practically terrified at the idea, his reason being "This is a vehicle capable of killing someone, and you want me to drive it?" Turns out Angeal was kind of anxious in land vehicles, he preferred planes.

Cloud understood of course, so Angeal remained with a learners license.

Zack wasn't actually bad. He passed the theory test on the second try, his driving was okay, but he was jerky on the accelerator as well as the brake during his lessons.

Then Reno got involved.

While most were terrified, it turned out Reno was actually the best instructor for Zack; in no time, Zack was flying through the tests and was the first to gain a motorbike license.

Sephiroth had already had his, which puzzled most of the department until he pointed out his blood-father was a Turk.

Cloud did make him sit through the practical, to make it fair for everyone else.

Sephiroth had a shiny new full license by the end of the week.

It took another month after that to see the result, the Transport expense had decreased by over 25% and was still dropping quite rapidly.

Cloud then announced he was going to do the same with the Air and Space departments in regards to the number of pilots.

Cid took on the task quite gleefully, stealing some interested employees and taking them to Junon where they underwent several weeks of study and practice. He produced some top notch pilots, most of which picked up his potty mouth, and the costs kept decreasing.

Then Reeve became interested in the fuel issue.

Needless to say, they didn't have to worry about the Transport expense ever again.

However, the paper expense was a whole 'nother issue.

Reeve had mentioned something about recycling?

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Omake

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The practical tests had begun, and Keith ended up keeping an eye on things.

Cloud was a bit busy with finding vehicles that wouldn't raise a fuss if they got damaged, the perfect ones for beginners. There wasn't really an up to date directory on the vehicles the company had, and so he wanted to sort that out before anyone used them.

So that meant Keith, who had more than enough time on his hands, was left to deal with the over-enthusiastic idiots who wanted to look cool by getting their license so they could drive like Cloud did.

Little did they know, having a driver's license didn't automatically mean you could drive a motorbike, it only applied to cars. No one had figured that out yet though.

Well, maybe Zack, but Zack was being chased by Reno about something to do with Zack's last driving test (the last time Keith had seen him, anyway).

Right now, he was watching a rather poor attempt at driving by 2nd Class Roweign, who was far too heavy on the pedals. It hurt to watch him as the car jerked to an abrupt stop and accelerated wayyyy too fast at the turn.

"Um, so . . . he's doing bad?"

The next applicant, a 3rd Class who was one of the newest bunch of cadets that had been promoted before the company turn over, Heath Owen (if Keith recalled his name properly), asked timidly.

"Yeah, he's doing bad." There was no point in trying to sugar coat it, this guy . . . he needed more practice.

Given there was at least another ten minutes until Roweign was done, Owen tried to make small talk. The kid was probably nervous and apparently Zack may or may not have over-exaggerated some tales about Keith to the new recruits, so being alone in Keith's presence could be freaking him out.

"So . . . how did you learn how to drive?"

Keith . . . kind of froze.

*Cue Kill Bill sirens*

Keith sort of stared off into the distance, recalling the sounds of screams and crashing in his head.

"BRAKE! STEP ON THE BRAKE!"

"THE BRAKES DEAD!"

"TREE!"

Keith looked back at Owen, who was staring at him with a concerned expression on his face, almost reaching out as if to tap him on the shoulder.

"I don't remember."

His answer was rushed, tone firm and clearly screaming 'don't-ask-you-don't-want-to-know', and Owen was smart enough to leave it at that.

Roweign was done though, Keith gave Owen a clap on the shoulder and whispered "Good luck, you'll do fine, I mean, how could you do worse than him?"

Owen passed with flying colours.

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"So, when did you learn how to drive Keith?"

For the second time that day, Keith froze up, but it was Shiro who asked, so he kind of felt obligated to tell him. He had been trying to open up more lately to his boys.

"I was 12."

Shiro kind of looked alarmed at Keith's high pitch.

Lance, whom had found one advantage to his wolf mutation, perked up at scent of distress Keith was giving off.

"It did, it did not go well." Keith let out some broken laughter, trying not to crush the cup in his grasp.

"Do you, want to talk about it?" Shiro slipped onto the couch next to him, Nuka already padding over, wondering why one of his parents smelled like panic and anxiety.

"It would take an hour to explain."

"We've got time." Lance joined them on the couch, already sending out an alert to Cloud saying to not let them be bothered, as he had set up with the CEO a few weeks ago as a precautionary measure.

The last time Keith had tried to open up, they had been disturbed for a minor reason and Keith had shoved it all down and refused to talk about it again.

Keith was trying to accept that he had issues and making progress but with all the bad timing and disturbances, it was making it harder than it should be.

"Well . . . Omael and Vincent were . . . kind of worried about my . . . life skills. They knew around this point I sort of taught myself, and they had been giving me educational lessons. So Vincent got it in his head that I should learn how to drive, but the only vehicle in the town was the truck the lab team brought with them. Omael and I were pretty surprised when he returned from the supply trip from Rocket Town with a second hand truck he bought off someone, it wasn't Cid that's for sure."

Apparently what Keith remembered next made him laugh, hiding his face in Shiro's neck as he giggled.

"It, it went so bad. Vincent didn't have ice chains, he didn't even check the truck properly. The brake killed itself, and we had to literally throw ourselves out of it before we hit a tree. And he was so confident that he was a good driver!"

Keith then continued to tell them of the almost impossible things that happened while the two adult men showed him how to drive, and failed badly at it.

They were all in stitches at the end of it all, Lance filing away this as future blackmail in case they needed it.

In summary; Keith's driving lessons were basically a mixture of survival tactics and desperation, he learned by doing all the things he shouldn't be doing, scraping by with the skin of his teeth, and in the end became a pretty good driver.

Pretty much the standard Turk driving course, really.

They lost count of how many second hand vehicles they went through, thankfully Vincent shoved it under as miscellaneous expenses on the financial report.

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Vincent had no idea how, but McClain knew about the 'Canyon Incident'.

The incident that was absolute taboo between him, Keith and Omael. To never be spoken of ever again.

That had been 23 years ago, when Vincent had thought it would be a great idea to teach the 12 year old how to drive. Given the kid would have a much better future outside of Nibelheim, so learning how to drive would be a good skill to learn.

The funny thing was, he had planned to teach Keith how to drive in a completely normal way, not the Turk way. But everytime he tried, something went wrong, and it ended up being exactly like how he had been taught, but worse.

If Veld ever caught wind of what had gone on . . . may the Goddess have mercy on his soul.

He did not want to have to explain why he lost Veld's car to a Crown Lance.

Veld thought it went 'missing', Vincent never mentioned he borrowed it.

And it would remain that way.

Although now, if he did anything to piss McClain off, he had feeling the former policeman might mention something to Veld.

Hopefully he didn't do anything in future to earn that man's ire.

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A/N: So yeah, sorry about the long gap between the prior upload and this one. RL got in the way. But this chapter was influenced because I recently got my learners license, and so it bled into this.

While we were writing this chapter, something happened that basically became the reason for the next chapter.

LiulfrLokison out! :3