21.
Misery loves company
At this rate, he was going to miss the ceremony. Which didn't actually sound so terrible. He'd much rather be doing anything else other than what he was doing right now; which was trying, and mostly failing, to tie a hakama.
He would have fought tooth and nail to get himself into a suit. He would have, had it not been his mother that wanted to see him in the hakama.
Ranma looked down at himself, having tied what he assumed was the final knot on the garment. Even after being washed, twenty years in storage had tattooed a permanent musky scent to the fabric his mother had purchased when he was still a baby. He felt like an old, smelly curtain. He took a moment to wipe the scowl off his face before turning around to face his mother.
Nodoka clasped her hands together, her eyes glistening with barely contained joy and possibly even tears.
"It's a perfect fit," she said, her voice oozing with pride.
Ranma looked down at himself again, twisting at the torso to try and view all the complex details of the garment. "I think I did it wrong," he muttered.
"No, no, it looks-oh, well, maybe if we just…" Nodoka hummed thoughtfully, stepping up to her son and starting to tug and pull at the cloth. Ranma looked up at the ceiling, feeling his ears burning, and wished he could shoot off into the stratosphere and never return.
"Is he still getting that thing on?"
Ranma looked over at the now-open door to his bedroom, and groaned at one of the last people on Earth he wanted to see right now.
Nabiki was leaning against the shoji door, smirking amusedly at Ranma. Ranma glared at Nabiki over his mother's head as Nabiki admired her nails nonchalantly.
"Although I suppose we'd all be waiting around even longer if we'd given you a simple necktie to wear." Nabiki quipped.
Ranma scoffed, but it came out more like a wheeze as Nodoka tightened something around his waist as tight as a corset. "Yeah, well, 'least I don't look like you did last year: like a unicorn barfed all over me." Ranma shot back.
"Now don't be so rude, Ranma," Nodoka chided lightly as she stepped away from her work, finally satisfied.
"Is everyone ready?" Soun asked, walking into the room, dressed nice for a change in dark slacks and a suit jacket. Genma followed closely behind, dressed similarly to Soun, though he hadn't bothered to tuck in his shirt.
"Yes, we're all good in here. Is Akane-chan ready?" Nodoka asked excitedly. She instantly frowned upon noticing her husband's sloppy attire. "Really, dear, at least tuck in your dress shirt…"
Genma weakly resisted as Nodoka stuffed the ends of his shirt unceremoniously down his pants with the same force she'd tied Ranma's hakama with. Genma yelped as he was jabbed by Nodoka's hands, and Ranma snickered to himself. At least he wasn't the only one suffering today.
"It's not every day your only son celebrates his Seijin no Hi," Nodoka's voice came out strained as she struggled to get the rest of the shirt under Genma's tight waistband, "And you didn't even put on a tie!"
"Oto-san, she's ready!" Kasumi called.
Nodoka released her hold on Genma's shirt, leaving it halfway tucked in as she moved around her husband. She went to the doorway so she could be one of the first to see Akane.
Kasumi entered the room first, walking over to stand near Ranma. She smiled brightly as she admired the hakama. "My, you look so handsome, Ranma-kun."
Ranma's eyes flickered away from the doorway he'd been closely watching to look at Kasumi. "Um, thanks," he mumbled, flushing.
"Oh, Akane-chan, you look so radiant!" Nodoka's excited cry made Ranma shoot his gaze back toward the doorway.
Akane was dressed in a white furisode, which upon first inspection looked incredibly plain for the usually elaborate design of the kimono worn for this occasion. Though simple, it was no less a beautiful pattern. The creamy white silk gleamed like snow, and as Akane moved the soft, delicate pink of the peony flower design cascading down the long sleeves and the skirt became visible. Her short hair was curled and adorned with small flowers and sparkly pins. Even under the layer of makeup on her face, a deep flush appeared on Akane's cheeks as everyone in the room stared at her.
Soun, to the surprise of nobody, began to cry. "Oh, Akane, my little girl...today you become a w-woman!"
Genma slapped his old friend on the shoulder. "And my boy Ranma becomes a man!"
The two wrapped their arms around the other's shoulders, laughing heartily in triumph. Nodoka was dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief as she admired Akane. Nabiki had become interested by something on her mobile phone. Kasumi watched the scene with her usual gentle smile and a small 'oh my' under her breath. Ranma's shoulders sagged as he sighed deeply.
"Nabiki-chan, let's take some photos! Do you have your camera?"
Nodoka ushered Nabiki over to stand in front of her younger sister to take some pictures. After snapping a few angles of Akane, Nabiki turned around and a flash went off in Ranma's eyes, blinding him.
"Try not to look so dumbfounded in the next one, huh, Ranma?" Nabiki sneered over her camera. Clearly payback for the 'unicorn barf' comment, Ranma noted sourly. "Let's get one with mother and son together, hmm?"
Nodoka eagerly went to Ranma's side and gleamed at the camera. Ranma managed a small smile, only because his mother's was so contagious. Then Genma joined the next picture, after Nodoka had finished tucking in the rest of his shirt. Then Nabiki turned around and took another picture of Akane next to Soun.
Nodoka grabbed Ranma by the shoulders and lead him over to Akane. "Let's get one of the darling couple!" Nodoka chimed.
She propped Ranma next to Akane, standing back and flicking his unruly bangs out of his eyes. Ranma's hair instantly fell back into place. Nodoka tsked softly, then stood back next to Nabiki, admiring the scene. Nabiki looked over her camera, raising her eyebrows.
"Wow, sis," Nabiki sneered, "You look less like you're turning twenty this year, and more like you're getting married."
Akane somehow managed to blush even darker. "Wh-what are you talking about?"
Ranma rolled his eyes. What was she playing so dumb for? It wasn't exactly subtle, but then again their families weren't exactly known for subtlety. The pairing of Ranma's traditional dark hakama with Akane's strangely unelaborate white furisode was no accident; in fact, tracking down a furisode with such a simplistic pattern would have been quite a feat. They'd gone to great lengths to make them look the part. Ranma wondered idly why they bothered to hunt down a furisode, when they were more than shameless enough to stuff Akane into a wedding kimono. They'd done it before.
Ranma wasn't silly enough to think that after four years, they'd run out of steam to keep up this stupid farce. In fact, the more time went on, the more they were fuelled. The Marriage Express was full-steam ahead, and Ranma could feel it barrelling towards him. And he was tied down to the tracks with no escape in sight.
"They're more persistent than roaches," Ranma grumbled, just loud enough for Akane to hear him, waiting for an agreeable snort from her in response.
"That's not okaa-san's old furisode you said you'd wear." Nabiki pointed out.
"No," Akane played with her hands bashfully, "I picked this one out myself."
Ranma looked at Akane, eyes wide. He couldn't believe his own ears. Their fathers had absolutely no input in the borderline-wedding-kimono Akane was wearing? Akane had willingly chosen it all on her own?
His palms began to sweat. Maybe she didn't realize, and she had simply picked out that particular furisode because she liked it and nothing more. Or, it was the complete opposite. Ranma tried not to consider the latter.
Akane looked up at him, and he finally realized he was still staring. Her eyes lit up, and her lips pulled into a tiny smile that was meant only for his eyes. Ranma wasn't sure if his heart was racing, or skipping beats. Perhaps a little of both. He looked away quickly, watching Nabiki focus the camera on them. In his peripheral he saw Akane look toward the camera too, but he didn't miss the peculiar flicker that twisted her features for just a moment.
Then Akane laced her arm through Ranma's, and he couldn't stop the little jump he gave at the unexpected contact. Ranma's shoulders went stiff, and he felt like his feet were being nailed into the floor. Trapped.
He saw the train coming at him again, the bright lights getting bigger and brighter...
Then the camera flash went off and all he could see was white, and then stars.
"You're giving me a day off?"
Ukyo nodded, smiling brightly. "Yep!"
Ranma stared at Ukyo blankly, blinking slowly. "Am I...getting in the way?" he asked.
Ukyo looked appalled. "Ranma-honey, no! You've been such a great help, and you've been working so hard lately...I just figured you'd earned it." she explained, pulling on her wide grin again.
"Okay, well...you're sure you'll be okay on your own?"
Ukyo crossed her arms, and gave her best friend a wry smirk. "Ran-chan, I was handlin' this shop all on my own for years. I think I can manage."
"Oh, right. So...I guess I can go change," Ranma said airily as he made his way over to the stairs.
Ukyo nodded eagerly. "Uh-huh. You go ahead, sugar. And don't you even think of trying to sneak into the back to help Konatsu with dishes. And if I see you trying to chop up any cabbage...well, you best just hope I don't. Under no circumstances are you to do any manual labour today!"
Ranma hovered over by the stairs, waiting for Ukyo to finish. When it appeared she was done, he nodded lightly. "Sure, no working. Day off. I'll be back in a minute."
When Ranma had disappeared up the stairs, Ukyo sighed heavily as her shoulders slumped. Suddenly her bright smile evaporated into a deep scowl that darkened her features.
The faint sound of pen scratching stopped, and Akane looked up from her mound of study notes to give Ukyo a solemn look.
"What's that going to accomplish?" she asked lowly.
"It's been a week." Ukyo bit the words out as if they tasted bitter on her tongue.
"And all he's done is work," Akane said, "So what is taking that away going to do? This job you gave him has been his best distraction. You take that away and all he's going to do is mope around here even more than he already has."
"Well, my options were already pretty thin to begin with," Ukyo snapped, "And unlike some of us, I don't just want to sit around and keep my head down doing nothing while my best friend crumbles apart."
Akane twitched. "Ukyo-"
"The hell kind of a stupid idea was that, anyway? Do nothing? And for you of all people to suggest it," Ukyo spat, "It's as if you don't-"
"Don't you tell me I don't care!" Akane's voice broke with the effort it took to stay quiet. "How could I possibly ignore it when it's happening right in front of me?"
Ukyo's face was stone, all except for her glistening blue eyes, which betrayed her emotions. "You make it look pretty easy, keepin' your nose crammed in those textbooks."
Akane gaped at Ukyo, her lips parting in shock. "I-how could-"
"You act like you know him the best," Ukyo's jaw clenched, "But you don't. Not if you think sitting there doing nothing is going to fix any of this."
"I never said it would," Akane retorted tersely, "And I've never claimed to know him best. But I know what's best for him. And that's to do this on his own."
"Well, fat lot of good that's been doing him. He won't stop working until I practically have to drag him up to bed. His nightmares have gotten worse. He's just...he's not himself. You saw him just now. He's-he's like a zombie." Tears filled Ukyo's eyes, "And you expect me to stand here and do nothing."
"You honestly think it's not killing me to see him like this just as much as you?" Akane's voice trembled, "I love him too, Ukyo. He's my family. But he needs support, and that's what we've been giving him. He doesn't need people dragging him back to Ryoga-kun by his hair, if that's only going to hurt him more. If...if Ryoga-kun is nothing else than a toxic presence in his mind right now, then I don't want to put him through that."
"But he's miserable," Ukyo whispered, "And what if he…?"
"Ukyo," Akane said firmly, "It's Ranma. He's working things out right now. I know he's struggling, but I also know that he always bounces back when he's gotten to his lowest point. And I have faith in him to do that with this, too...it's just going to take him some time." Akane sighed. "I know you care about him and I know that you're upset, and frustrated...but taking that out on me isn't going to do anyone any good. We all need to stay as positive and strong as we can."
Ukyo's shoulders drooped, and her anger subsided. "You're...yeah. You're right." Ukyo looked up at Akane sheepishly through her lashes, her eyes holding her apology.
Akane reached across the counter, and placed her hand over Ukyo's, which the other girl just realized was clenched into a tight fist on the countertop. Akane ran her thumb soothingly along Ukyo's hand, until she slowly unfurled her fingers and the colour returned to her knuckles. And spread elsewhere.
Red painted Ukyo's cheeks as she watched Akane's thumb rub her hand. Her soft fingers seemed to coax the anger and frustration out of her, it was like she could feel it being pulled out of her pores with each tickling, warm stroke. Ukyo looked up slowly at Akane, and slowly melted at the gentle smile that spread across Akane's face and made her hazel eyes flicker with light.
"Cute…"
Akane blinked. "Sorry?"
Ukyo jolted. "...Shoot! I haven't put out the shop curtain yet!"
Ukyo let out a strained laugh and took back her hand, and walked around to the other side of the grill and toward the door.
"Konatsu went out there to do that," Akane spoke up just as Ukyo went to open the door.
Ukyo paused at the door for a moment before peeking over her shoulder. "Oh?"
"She came through here while you were talking to Ranma."
"Oh," Ukyo repeated, slowly. She moved away from the door. "That's good. I guess I'll turn the grill on."
Ukyo awkwardly made her way back behind the grill, feeling Akane watching her do so. She kept her head down as she went about her work, turning knobs up as slowly as she could.
"Ukyo," Akane said.
Ukyo couldn't stop her shoulders from jumping. "Akane-chan?"
"You've been giving Konatsu the cold shoulder for a week." Akane muttered.
Ukyo looked up quickly. Okay, not what she'd been expecting. Not sure if she'd call it a relief, however.
"Sh...she's the one who's been keeping to herself," Ukyo defended, "It's not my fault she won't talk to me, or even tell me where she's going or what she's doing."
Akane sighed, and looked away. "It looks like Ranma's not the only one around here avoiding his problems."
"Excuse me?"
"Come off it already, Ukyo," Akane said gratingly, "I'm not an idiot, and I'm not blind. And what's happening between-"
Akane cut herself off when she heard the stairs creaking as Ranma made his way back into the dining area. Instead of coming over to the bar, he walked over to the door that led into the kitchen.
"Hey!" Ukyo barked, "You'd better not be going back there to work!"
"I'm going to give Konatsu some company," Ranma explained dryly.
"Nice try, sugar. Konatsu isn't even back there right now." Ukyo sneered and folded her arms in her smugness.
"Then why am I hearing running water back there?" Ranma asked, "Sounds like she's back there to me."
Ukyo's arms fell, and she blinked rapidly in confusion. "But, she…?"
"She must have let herself in from the back door after she was finished out front." Akane said.
"Oh. Right." Ukyo collected herself, "Ran-chan, don't you even try to-"
"Konatsu wouldn't let me help, anyway." Ranma said. Then he turned around and moved aside the small curtain and was gone again.
Akane instantly looked back over at Ukyo. "You see? She went to the trouble to walk around to the back of the building to get back in! She's going out of her way to not be within five feet of you. And that's not like her at all. Something is really upsetting her."
Ukyo shifted her weight from side to side as though she were uncomfortable. And she was, in a sense. "Well it's not like I can talk to her if she's avoiding me on purpose."
"You two work together and live in the close confines of a one bedroom apartment. This can't go on. You're avoiding Konatsu just as much as she's avoiding you. So be the bigger person here and talk to her."
Ukyo held her arms tightly against herself. "Look, it's not as simple as you're making it out to be. I can't talk to her when I don't even know what to say to her."
"Well you just need to-"
"No, I mean, I can't tell her what I can't...what I don't even know for myself-why I can't-" Ukyo growled in frustration as she raked her fingers through her hair. "Dammit!"
"Why you can't what?" Akane pressed, looking confused.
"Why I…" Ukyo bit her lip for a moment, considering. "Why I can't be with her."
"Because she's a girl?" Akane said. "Or, well, identifies as one, um…"
Ukyo laughed forcefully. "Uh, yeah...no, it's not that," she said, "Her being a girl isn't an issue at all."
"O-oh. Oh," Akane couldn't look Ukyo in the eye suddenly. She played with her pen absentmindedly as she spoke, "Then, is it about...her biological...uhh…"
"Konatsu says she's a girl. And I see her as a girl, no matter what." Ukyo said firmly. "Body parts don't define gender. The...the soul does, or whatever. I guess. Hell, what even is gender, anyway, right? I mean-"
"Okay so it's not an issue with her gender, or her body, or whatever," Akane broke in impatiently before Ukyo could run away on a tangent, "So then, what?"
"I just don't see her like that, okay?" Ukyo blurted, exasperated. "She's-I mean she's my family, and I love her, but I'm not in love with her. Not...not in the way...she is with me."
Ukyo looked up, her eyelids fluttering in awe at her own words. It was the first time she had said it out loud, said it to anyone, even herself. She looked at Akane, who was staring at her with a similar expression.
Ukyo mouthed to words silently to herself, then continued. "I can't return her feelings," she looked away and shook her head, smiling crookedly and laughing without humour, "But to be honest, I wish I did. I wish I could just...like her back. Things would be a hell of alot easier that way."
Akane nodded slowly. "Okay, well...seems to me you've just figured it out. There isn't really much else to say to her, just that you don't feel the same way. I know it won't be easy to do, but that will be better than...lying to yourself or...or leading her on."
Ukyo sighed. "I know. I don't want to hurt Konatsu the same way Ran-chan hurt you."
Akane looked up at Ukyo in surprise. Ukyo looked at her, her expression solemn.
"While I don't agree with it, I can understand why he did what he did," Ukyo muttered. "He took the easy way. Ran away from his problems, avoiding having that crucial conversation with you because he didn't want to see the look on your face."
Akane looked down at her hands, which squeezed the pen she held tightly.
"In fact, Ranma-honey was in the same damn boat I'm in now," Ukyo said, laughing darkly at the irony of it all. "Having a person who could be so easy to be with. And another person we can't get out of our heads…"
Akane's head flew up from staring at her pen. "Wait, what?"
Ukyo blinked in confusion at the shocked look on the other girl's face. Realization slowly dawned on her as she recalled her own words, and red spread across her cheeks within seconds.
"Ukyo, you-you've got a crush on someone?" Akane had a strange mixture of curious shock on her face. "Who is it? Do I know them?"
Ukyo rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, and she peeked over at the front door. She fought back the urge to glare when the door did not fly open like she hoped, blessing her with a customer or two who could make a good excuse to stop having this discussion.
But of course when she actually wanted the interruption, it didn't come.
"Well?" Akane goaded.
"It's-it's stupid, Akane-chan. Don't even worry over it."
"At least tell me if I know them or not!"
Ukyo rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "Yeah," she said lowly, "known 'em for years, in fact."
Akane's eyes bulged. "Is...is it…?"
Ukyo forced herself not to hold her breath. "What?"
"Shampoo?" Akane asked hushedly.
Ukyo nearly fell over. Instead, she slammed her hands down on the counter and a vein popped on her temple.
"I do not have a crush on Shampoo!"
"Excuse me?"
Ukyo and Akane looked up at the front door, where a very confused man stood, looking nervous to come in any further.
"Are you open?"
"Of course, sugar!" Ukyo beamed, jolting upright and slapping on a huge grin. "Welcome to Uuchan's!"
Ukyo refused to meet Akane's eyes while she prepared the man's order. Akane went back to her books shortly after, and soon the morning rush was filing in and taking up all of Ukyo's time. Ukyo wasn't foolish enough to think she was safe, however.
Akane did a lot more playing with her pen than writing study notes.
The ceremonies at city hall had all been dreadfully boring, and it took a lot of willpower (and sharp elbow jabs in the ribcage from Akane) to not to fall asleep standing up.
At last the speeches were over, small gifts were handed out to all the well-dressed young adults whom were twenty that year.
Once that was finally over with, the Tendo and Saotome families all travelled to a nearby shrine, where many of the other gatherers from city hall were visiting next as well. The shrine grounds were crowded as people shuffled closely together, getting fortunes told and buying good luck charms.
Even in the frosty January air, Ranma was sweating under his heavy, itchy, cumbersome hakama. All he wanted was to go home and take this damn thing off; maybe even burn it with the garbage. He didn't even bother to look at the shrine vendors that the group was now weaving through the throng to explore.
"Oh, look!" Akane exclaimed. She tugged on Ranma's sleeve to get his attention. Ranma sighed, finally looking over at the girl he assumed wanted to show him some dumb trinket she thought looked cute.
"What?"
Akane wasn't looking at the trinkets. She was pointing out across the crowd. "Look who it is!" she said excitedly.
Ranma squinted, scanning the faces for someone familiar.
Akane cupped the side of her mouth and waved vigorously with her other hand while she called across the bustling shrine grounds.
"Hey! Over here!" Akane exclaimed, "Akari! Ryoga-kun!"
Ranma finally picked out the faces from the crowd as they turned around to their names being called. Akari led Ryoga through the crowd with the hand she'd already been holding, and she waved happily at Ranma and Akane as she approached.
It was no wonder Ranma couldn't pick them out right away. Akari looked completely different in a full face of makeup, and all of her hair was pulled away from her face and in an extravagant up-do. Ryoga was dressed in a dark blue suit, and his yellow bandana was out of his hair for a change, and had been fashioned into a bow-tie. Without the familiar headband, traveller's pack and martial artist clothes, Ryoga looked like a perfectly normal civilian. Like he could have just come from some meeting at some big-rig office, or something.
Paired with Akari's yellow furisode, the two were matching. Akari linked her arm through Ryoga's, looking as content as a cat in a sunbeam.
"Hello, Ranma-kun, Akane-chan, it's so good to see you both again," Akari smiled, "It's been too long!"
Akane laughed. "Try six months too long. Ryoga-kun, it's so unlike you to not drop by the dojo at least every three months, or so."
Ryoga scratched his neck with his free arm sheepishly, looking down at his dress shoes. "S-Sorry I've not been keeping in touch. Usually I would send a postcard or something even if I can't make it back, but…"
"Ryoga's been living with me on the pig farm," Akari explained, squeezing Ryoga's arm tightly, "He's been helping to train the piglets. He's wonderful with them, such a natural!"
Ranma tried to conceal his snort by scrubbing at his nose with his sleeve. Akane gave him a dirty look regardless.
"We're so fortunate to have him there," Akari went on, looking up at Ryoga as though he were a deity.
"Speaking of fortune," Akane said, "why don't we all go and get ours?"
"Oh, yes! I'm looking forward to seeing what the world has in store for me this year." Akari's fingers clutched the sleeve of Ryoga's suit jacket, crumpling the fabric.
"Not to discredit the Gods, but seems there's more than one match made in Heaven they aren't putting together, Tendo-kun." Genma muttered to Soun from just behind Ranma.
"Right you are, Saotome-kun. But I'd rather believe it a simple case of cold feet, wouldn't you say?" Soun said back.
Ranma's eyelid twitched.
"I'm sure the Gods have done all they can do at this point. Because from my viewpoint, looks like the fish has leaped quite willingly into the boat." Soun went on. He wasn't exactly trying to keep his voice down now.
"And now all there's left to do is whack it with the proverbial ore!" Genma cackled.
The two fathers broke into uproarious laughter. Ranma folded his arms tightly across his chest, to keep from cramming the two old men ten feet deep in a rice paddy field.
"You know, Kasumi-oneechan, I think I ought to start a betting pool," Nabiki said. And Ranma could tell from the tone of her voice her words were not meant for only Kasumi's ears.
"For what, Nabiki-chan?"
"For which wedding we'll be going to first."
"Ranma, are you coming?"
Ranma's head shot up. Akane, Akari, and Ryoga were all looking at him, and turned to make their way towards the shrine. Akari had her hand clasped around Ryoga's again. Akane gave him an expectant look.
"You four go on ahead," Nodoka said, "we're going to do a little shopping."
"And we're going to find the nearest booth selling hot sake," Genma announced.
"Dear!"
"What? It's celebratory."
"We'll all catch up with you later," Kasumi said as Nodoka and Genma began to bicker.
"Come on, Ranma! I want to get over there while there's less of a crowd." Akane called.
"Alright already…" Ranma sighed, walking over to join the trio as they walked towards the shrine.
This particular shrine sold their o-mikuji from vending machines along the left wall beside the shrine. It took away the traditional ambience of the shrine, but Ranma assumed whatever fortune he'd get couldn't be too accurate, which was fine by him. Not like Gods could control the will of everyday vending machines. It was purely a silly game of chance.
The girls eagerly fished out change for the vending machines as they waited for their turn. The five machines beside the shrine were all occupied. Ranma watched the young people hurry across the grounds to seal away their fortunes, good or bad, by tying them to the pine trees.
The four walked up to the next available machine, and Akari deposited a five yen coin into the slot. The machine made a whirring sound and then a clicking thunk, then spat out a small tube of paper from the bottom slot. Akari knelt down and plucked her tiny paper from the machine, then stood aside to let Akane go next.
Akari looked over at Ranma and Ryoga while Akane deposited her change into the machine. She held the rolled up paper delicately in her hands, as though afraid she may tear it.
"I'll wait until everyone's gotten theirs, and we can all open them together." Akari said. "It'll be more fun that way!"
"It'd be more fun if they had something a little more traditional here," Ryoga said, walking up to the machine for his turn. "This is a newer shrine, but getting your 'fortune' from a machine kind of takes the vibe away from the whole thing."
"I like the ones where you shake that box until a bamboo stick comes out with your lucky number on it," Ranma found himself saying, despite himself, "then you go to that wall of little drawers and pick the one with your number on it."
"Figures you'd like the physically demanding method," he heard Ryoga say and he squatted down to pick out his paper from the machine. "Although I suppose I always enjoyed that one too when I was a kid."
Ranma's lips went crooked at the word 'kid'. Was Ryoga making fun of him? Now he remembered why he had been keeping his mouth shut today; seems he wasn't free from the snarky remarks anywhere. Although why he assumed that pigheaded dope Ryoga would be any different was a mystery to him…
"Your turn," Ryoga's voice broke him away from his wandering thoughts.
His turn to what? Insult him back? He could do that.
"Hurry up, Ranma, there's people waiting and I want to see what all our fortunes are!" Akane chided.
Ranma's eyes readjusted. Ryoga was standing over with Akari now, and all three were watching him as he stood there dumbly in front of the machine doing nothing.
"Keep your hair on, tomboy," Ranma scoffed, stepping up to the machine while he fished out some change. He dumped in a five yen coin, then squatted down and waited for the machine to shoot out the randomized paper, snatching it from the slot as soon as it was in sight and jumping back upright. Feigning nonchalance and indifference was a little harder to do when one lacked their usual cool grace, no thanks to the cumbersome effects of a particular bulky hakama. Ranma nearly tripped on the large pant-skirt as he made his way over to the others.
As they walked closer to the side of the courtyard with the pine trees, they began to unroll their papers to reveal their fortunes. They stopped just outside the cluster of pine trees to read their papers.
Akari looked up from her paper first. "What did everyone get?" she asked, looking a little fretful.
"Half-blessing," Akane read from her paper. "What about you?"
"Curse," Akari said morosely. "What's your lifestyle section look like?"
"A bit of a hodgepodge," Akane muttered, frowning at her paper while she read through again. "I got 'disputes', 'a person being waited for', and 'studies and learning'. None of those exactly relate to the other."
"Mine says 'lost articles', 'inauspicious directions', and 'illness'." Akari's eyes were wide with fear.
"Yikes," Akane bit her lip, "I'd double-knot that thing to the highest part of the tree you can reach."
Akari sighed dreadfully. "I'm sure everyone probably got much nicer fortunes than I did."
Ryoga looked sheepish. "Mine says future blessing," he mumbled, sounding rather guilty. "Hmm. And I got 'travel'-gosh, I wonder why."
Ranma scoffed again, only this time he felt his crooked lips curl upwards, just a little.
"As well as 'business dealings', and 'romantic relationships'." Ryoga finished. "Awfully random."
"What does yours say, Ranma?" Akane asked eagerly.
Ranma hadn't even bothered to unroll his paper yet. He did so and quickly scanned through the page.
"Future small blessing," he read, "And I got…'auspicious directions', 'one's wish or desire', and…what the hell?"
"How did you get 'hell' on such a good fortune?" Akane asked incredulously.
Ranma had gone very pale. "It doesn't say 'hell', it says...uh," he gulped audibly, "...'childbirth'."
The trio stared at him for a long pause, all looking equally dumbfounded. Ranma made the mistake of looking up at Akane, to see she had already turned several different shades of pink. Ranma probably looked blue or perhaps a sickly green in comparison.
"They say you could also tie good fortunes to the pine tree," Ryoga spoke up, "and I'd suggest you do so. If for no other reason other than to be sure your parents don't lay eyes on that fortune."
"I think burning it would have a more successful effect." Ranma quipped darkly.
Akane's eyes bulged. "Are you trying to get cursed for life?"
"Childbirth and curses are pretty much the same thing." Ranma said, "so it really makes no difference to me. Think I'd take any curse over that curse, too."
"Even the kinds that turn you into a girl, for instance?" Ryoga queried, hefting an eyebrow.
Ranma looked at Ryoga sardonically. "Or how's about the ones that turn ya into a p-"
"You know, the curse you've already got would be what would make things like this one happen," Ryoga poked Ranma's paper for emphasis, "so you're right, they are pretty much the same thing."
Ranma's pallid face finally filled back in with deep red colour. He gaped at Ryoga for a moment before he shook it off, looking off at nothing and sticking his nose in the air.
"Don't be stupid! For starters, that'd never happen in a million years, and some dumb piece of paper from some cheap vending machine ain't gonna magically alter my fate. Destiny isn't something that's dropped in your lap, you make it on your own!" Ranma held his paper aloft, pinched between his index and middle finger, and spun around on his heel. "Now I'm gonna decide my own fate, by finding the nearest food stand with an open flame to throw this into."
With that Ranma stormed away, hoping the speed of his stride would let some of the cool air blow against his hot face.
What in the hell was that moron talking about? What did his Jusenkyo curse and his so-called fortune have to do with each other? Judging by how red in the face Akane had gotten at the idea of bearing children, the prospect was clearly for her to be the one giving birth!
But if that were the case, wouldn't Akane have 'childbirth' on her own fortune? Ranma shook out the intrusive thoughts by physically shaking his head, to the confusion of the other shrine-goers. It was just a dumb piece of paper, it didn't mean anything! It was just a scheme for the shrine to make money. He'd said himself that it wasn't like the Gods could enforce their will on some machine. It was a completely randomized system, void of any actual spiritual certainty.
"Stupid!" Ranma spat under his breath.
"Uh, you gonna buy something, kid?"
Ranma looked up. He'd made a beeline for a yakiimo truck and was standing right in front of the vendor's window. A middle-aged man stood inside the truck, his hands pressed into the counter, watching Ranma with a stern yet curious expression.
"Two, please."
Ranma looked over to see Ryoga standing beside him. He was rubbing his hands together briskly, blowing warm breath onto his reddening fingers.
"I'm freezing in this monkey suit," Ryoga remarked.
"I hardly recognized you," Ranma murmured.
Ryoga looked over at Ranma, who kept his eyes on the yakiimo man. Ryoga looked down, and saw his bow-tie was slightly askew.
"I've been waiting for you tell me I look like a dork in this," Ryoga said, straightening the bow-tie.
Ranma shrugged. "Not a dork," he said quietly. "It's just...different, I guess."
Ryoga looked back at Ranma again, his brows raised. The sweet smell of baking yam blew through the cool air.
"Well, other than the lack of teasing from you today," Ryoga said, "You haven't changed a bit."
He saw a muscle in Ranma's cheek twitch, but Ranma still said nothing and kept his eyes forward. Ryoga stuffed his cold hands in his too-small pockets.
"In fact, I recognized you straight away." Ryoga remarked, "Picked you right out from the crowd when Akane-san called out to us."
"Because of this, I'm sure," Ranma said brusquely, gesturing to his hakama. He still refused to meet Ryoga's eye. What Ranma was lacking in the teasing department today, Ryoga was certainly making up for.
"No, because of this," Ryoga reached over and flicked Ranma's braid over his shoulder. Ranma jolted, looking down at his braid now draped across his shoulder, then looking up to meet Ryoga's eyes. Ranma remembered why he hadn't been looking at him.
He'd stare too long.
"Here you go,"
Both boys looked back to the yakiimo truck, seeing the man leaning out with two large yams, wrapped up in tinfoil and paper. Ryoga dug through his jacket pocket and Ranma went searching through his robes. Ryoga was faster, pulling out the exact change and trading with the yakiimo man. Ryoga turned towards Ranma and held out one of the yakiimo.
"I could've gotten mine," Ranma said, but he accepted the food regardless. The tinfoil was hot under his cool fingers, but it was Ryoga's fingertips just brushing his knuckles that made him jump.
"You ever wear it in a ponytail anymore?" Ryoga asked suddenly, as they started walking through the small vendor's market.
Ranma quirked up an eyebrow at the odd question. "Not really. I had to braid it to stop the effects of the Dragon Whisker. It sorta just grew on me, I guess."
"Pun intended?" Ryoga said with a smirk.
Ranma looked at Ryoga, looking extremely deadpan. "Hardy-har."
Ryoga chanced a bite of his yakiimo. It was still steaming hot, but it warmed his insides instantly, even if it did burn the roof of his mouth going down.
"Still cold?" Ranma asked.
"The layer of skin I just scorched off my palette is making me forget how cold my fingers are," Ryoga said.
Ranma snorted. He blew on the yakiimo generously before taking a careful bite.
"What's your favourite season?" Ryoga asked suddenly.
Ranma nearly bit his tongue. He swallowed roughly, before looking at Ryoga incredulously."What's with all the weird questions?"
"Figured you'd prefer to talk about something mundane, instead of destiny, or the future," Ryoga explained, "Sounds like you've been getting that more than just today."
Ranma looked away quickly. "I like summer, I guess."
"Aren't you a summer baby?" Ryoga inquired.
Ranma nodded. "Yeah, but that's not why I like summer."
"For the weather?" Ryoga tried.
"Sort of. I don't like the heat so much, but I like...hmm," Ranma stopped himself, pouting in thought. "I guess I like the idea of cooling down on a hot day. Eating watermelon. Lying out on the genkan to feel the breeze. It's even better when Kasumi is in the yard, watering the grass with the garden hose. I like the smell of it. It's the complete opposite of that smell of cement on an overcast day. Hate that smell; it's metallic and stale. But that smell of wet grass and sunshine, it's fresh an' warm...it's like summer in a single smell…"
Ranma finally realized he was rambling. He made the mistake of peeking over at Ryoga, who was staring openly at him, blinking owlishly. Ranma quickly averted his eyes, and then took a large bite out of his yakiimo to keep his mouth occupied. The hot potato singed his throat.
"I like autumn," Ryoga went on casually. "The weathers perfect, the air smells nice and crisp. And the gingko trees turn that amazing golden yellow colour...there's gingko trees at our old middle school, remember?"
"Yeah. I think I'd just enrolled around the time of year they woulda changed that colour, too." Ranma said.
"Remember when we had to sweep up all the leaves one day after school, for disrupting the class?"
Ranma barked in laughter in recollection. "Hey, yeah! They were everywhere! Took us forever to rake them all up. It made about three huge piles."
"And then after all that you leapt into one of them and sent leaves flying everywhere." Ryoga recalled.
Ranma remembered, snickering to himself at the mental image of the irate tween Ryoga glaring at him when he popped out of the leaves. "You chased me around with the rake! Then the principal caught us right after I'd tripped you into another pile."
"So then we had to redo everything, and we got penalized for horsing around so we wound up getting classroom cleaning duty the following day."
"Is that the time I clapped the erasers onto the back of your school jacket?" Ranma grinned.
"You tried doing that every time we got stuck doing cleaning duty together. That was just the time you were successful." Ryoga said.
"Come t' think of it, we always wound up gettin' put together for stuff." Ranma noted, "Even after all the times we disrupted the class, or made a mess durin' cleanin' duty, they never paired us with anyone else."
"I guess they were just glad there was finally someone they could pair with me," Ryoga said, "I missed a lot of school, so I didn't know any of my classmates very well, let alone become friends with any of them."
"Huh," Ranma hummed thoughtfully, "Guess it was like that for me, too. I enrolled so late, I didn't know anybody. An' nobody else liked the same things I did; you were the only other martial artist in that school. An' then I started walkin' home with ya and meetin' you at your house every mornin'."
Ryoga nodded. "I think the teachers knew about that, so they let the antics slide. They knew if we got split up I'd start missing classes, and your grades would take a nose-dive."
"How d'ya figure that?" Ranma asked haughtily.
"Because when we got paired to do assignments, you'd actually work. That and I tutored you in just about every subject because you just refused to listen during lectures." Ryoga said plainly. "It's funny, we always got up to trouble, and yet we brought out the best in each other."
The last few words reached Ranma deeper than the others, and he felt himself staring openly at Ryoga now, but he couldn't bring himself to look away this time. Ryoga was looking up at the sky. The cool breeze that blew through the shrine grounds made his dark brown hair flicker against his face. Ryoga's eyes were hazel, Ranma finally noticed. Just like Akane's. Unlike her eyes, Ryoga's were more on the green spectrum of hazel. It was a soft, warm, yellow-green, like the colour of sunlight hitting the backs of summer leaves.
"The moon is out," Ryoga noted, his voice pulling Ranma out of his own head.
Ranma looked up at the sky, which had turned to a pastel gray, almost lilac colour, a stark contrast to the orange sunset that had painted the clouds only minutes before. Slowly the stars were blinking into place, and the moon hung brightly amid a smattering of thin, navy blue clouds.
"Full moon," Ryoga remarked quietly as he admired the sight.
"All the crazies are out." Ranma scoffed.
"What does that make us then?" Ryoga remarked.
Ranma pressed his lips together, frowning a little. "Not as crazy. Not anymore."
"And that's a bad thing?"
"You get used to your life bein' a certain way," Ranma said. "Guess I always assumed nothin' would ever change."
"Funny. You always seemed like the kind of person who was fine with things constantly changing," Ryoga said. "You told me that you and your father were never in the same place longer than a couple months. I think that time you spent in middle school with me was the longest you spent in one place, before the Tendo Dojo."
"You'd know better than anyone how crappy it is livin' out on the road," Ranma said brusquely, "I mean sure, when you've been doin' it since you were in diapers it's just your brand of normal. But those months that I lived in your neighbourhood, it was nice. Sure I still lived in a damn cramped tent with my old man, but...doin' somethin' other than what I'd been doin' all that time, for the very first time...it was nice."
Ryoga shook his head. "You make no sense," he murmured.
Ranma looked over at Ryoga bewilderedly. "Huh?"
"Because you just told me you don't want anything to change, but then you said that change was nice." Ryoga explained, a bemused laugh in his voice. "So, which one is it? Do you want things to change, or do you want them to stay the same?"
Ranma looked up at the moon. For some reason, his heart was pounding. Then again, maybe it had been pounding this whole time.
"I don't...know," Ranma said finally.
Ryoga shrugged. "Guess there's no stopping it, even if you did know. Time keeps beating on, everything is constantly changing. The things around us, friends, ourselves. It's as inevitable as...as the phases of the moon, I suppose."
"The moon always stays the same," Ranma argued. "I mean, it stays the same shape. It just looks different based on the light. It's just perspective."
"But I'm sure the surface changes. Maybe debris hits it and creates another crater, or a man walks across it and leaves his footprints. It's never the same as it used to be. With every new thing, it alters." Ryoga supplied back.
"But no matter what, it's still just the moon." Ranma said. "It gets bigger an' smaller, it changes colour, but despite all its different cycles and phases and appearances, it's the same old moon."
"Then I guess this must be the same old world," Ryoga said. "And you're the same old you. Even when you change the way you tie your hair, or when you change into a female. Or when you turn twenty. You're still you."
The wispy purple clouds that had been covering the moon had slowly drifted, exposing the moon's full luminescence. Ranma could feel his heart beating even faster, the glowing moon and Ryoga's words stirring something within him.
And just like that, his mind was made up.
"Hey, Konatsu," Ranma greeted, as he walked into the dish pit in Ukyo's small, but well-stocked kitchen.
Konatsu paused in her vigorous scrubbing of a grill brush to look up at Ranma.
"Good morning, Ranma-sama...um, can I help you with something?" Konatsu asked gently.
Ranma shook his head. "Just thought I'd come back here an' keep you company...Uuchan gave me the day off today."
Konatsu blinked owlishly in surprise. "Oh, well...you don't have to...I mean, it's awfully boring just staying back here with me, isn't it?" Konatsu mumbled, "Wh-why don't you go sit out front with Akane-sama?"
"She's busy with her studyin'," Ranma said, "Besides, her an' Uuchan have been so chummy lately, I'm starting to feel like a third wheel, y'know?"
Konatsu went back to scrubbing the grill brush. "Yes, I know." she said.
Ranma hadn't heard Konatsu sound so terse before. He watched her back as she tossed the grill brush into the next sink of clean water, and picked out more utensils from the soapy water she was hunched over.
"Is everything okay, Konatsu?" Ranma asked, "You seem kinda low."
"I'm fine, Ranma-sama," Konatsu said weakly. She paused in her washing again, and looked over her shoulder at Ranma. "In all honesty, it's you I'm worried about."
Ranma stuffed his hands into the pocket of his red hoodie. "I'm fine," he said automatically.
Konatsu's face fell. "Oh, Ranma-sama," she said softly, "You're a much worse liar than even I am."
"I'm not lying,"
"Your eyes are bloodshot. Did you sleep at all last night, or the night before?" Konatsu asked solemnly, "I haven't been hearing you talk in your sleep since...maybe Tuesday night. But, Akane-sama told me you snore, and...I don't hear snoring, either. So, if you're not dreaming, or snoring, you aren't asleep at all."
Ranma looked away. "I...don't snore," he lied again.
"Are you forcing yourself not to fall asleep, so you won't have that nightmare anymore?"
Ranma looked back at Konatsu quickly. "How...do you know it's just the one?" Ranma forgot the fact he was supposed to lie.
Konatsu gave him a sad, knowing smile. "I get them all the time. Reoccuring dreams. I've had a reoccuring dream for many years now. Although, lately the images have shifted, warped themselves so that...it's not a dream anymore, but a nightmare. Or maybe it hasn't changed at all, and I'm the one who has changed."
Time keeps beating on, everything is constantly changing. The things around us, friends, ourselves. It's as inevitable as...as the phases of the moon, I suppose.
"Same old moon…" Ranma whispered.
Konatsu looked at him curiously. "Sorry?"
It's never the same as it used to be. With every new thing, it alters.
"What changed?" Ranma asked airily.
Konatsu looked confused. "Changed?"
"What about you changed so that...your dream became a nightmare?"
Konatsu's eyes went wide. She stared at Ranma for a long time, and Ranma watched tears fill her eyes.
"I was too late…" Konatsu whispered, the tears spilling down her cheeks now. "I waited too long...I was afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"Of ruining what was already good like it was," Konatsu wiped her tears away with her sleeve. The tears kept flowing, as her words spilled from her mouth, finally being released. "I was...I was selfish. I wanted more. I was scared...I was so scared of...of-"
"Changing," Ranma's voice was nearly mute, he practically mouthed the word silently.
"I was a coward. So I was too late. And now…" Konatsu choked on a sob. She bowed her head, then shook it fiercely. "That's why...I'm so worried about you!"
Ranma looked down at the wet floor. For a moment, the white tiles flickered, and were soaked in blood. He blinked, and it was gone.
"It's too late for me, too," Ranma said, "I already fucked things up. I was scared for a long time, too, but...then, I finally did it. I changed...everything."
"But weren't you happy?" Konatsu sniffled.
"Terrified," Ranma corrected, "Terrified of all that was changing around me, and being powerless to stop it. Terrified of the future, but...not dreading it. Not like I'd been before."
Ranma looked up at Konatsu. "Yeah. I was happy."
"Then it's not too late." Konatsu said. "Don't do what I did. Or you'll miss your chance."
"I already did."
"You haven't! There's still time for you. It's over for me because...because her eyes are for someone else. She'll never see me." Konatsu jabbed Ranma in the chest with a wet, soapy finger. "But not you. He sees you. And I'm sure he's hurting like you, misses you just as much...so you can't wait. He's alone. He's hurting…"
His mother's voice suddenly popped into his head.
He didn't sound well, I'm afraid.
"Akane-sama and Ukyo-sama haven't told you anything because they didn't want you to hurt even more," Konatsu explained, "Ukyo-sama called him the other day, and he hung up on her. Ukyo-sama also told me that Kasumi tried calling him too, and he did the same thing."
Ranma's heart jolted. His mother, and even Kasumi?
Konatsu was gripping Ranma's hoodie now, leaving wet patches in the fabric. "Forgive me, I know that none of this is any of my business, but...I tried to call him myself. That time, nobody picked up at all."
Ranma's heart was pounding now. "When was this?" he asked breathlessly.
"Three days ago," Konatsu said, her eyes filled with fret.
Ranma stared at her, his mouth slightly agape but he found himself unable to form words.
"I...I gotta go," Ranma finally stuttered out.
Konatsu nodded urgently, letting go of Ranma's sweater. Ranma spun on his heel and hurried toward the curtained door leading out into the dining room. He paused, and then looked back over his shoulder.
"Hey, Konatsu…"
"Yes?"
"Thanks for telling me."
The dining room was nearly full with the morning rush. Ranma zipped out from the kitchen and then up the stairs, two at a time. He was back down within a few minutes, now wearing sneakers, and made a beeline for the front door.
"And where are you off to?" Ukyo called.
Ranma looked around at Ukyo sheepishly. "Uh, the bath house." he fibbed.
"Oh?" Ukyo said, her eyes wide, a cheap little smile on her face. "Well, you have fun!"
Ranma nodded quickly and then was out the door like a shot. The instant he was gone, Ukyo whirled around on Akane. Akane took her gaze off the door and looked up at Ukyo as the girl slapped her hands down on the counter.
"I'm gonna kill him!" Ukyo cried.
"What for?" Akane asked calmly.
"What for? You heard what he said, didn't you?"
"I did. What about it?"
"He's going to meet up with that-that guy he hooked up with at the bath house!" Ukyo exclaimed hotly. "And I'm gonna meet him there, and beat the ever-lovin' crap outta him and that dude he banged, then drag him to Ryoga's doorstep by his hair!"
"He's not going to the bath house, Ukyo." Akane said plainly.
"But he said-"
"I know what he said. But did you see him?" Akane rested her chin in her hand, and smiled almost smugly. The hair on the back of Ukyo's neck stood up; Akane was looking a lot like Nabiki right now, and it gave her the creeps.
"What about him?" Ukyo spat out.
Akane's smug smirk broke into a pleased grin. "Well, if he is going to the bath house," she said, "then he forgot his bath bucket."
When stepping out of Uuchan's, the bath house is to the left. Ranma went right, walking stealthily but quickly past the shop, making sure Ukyo wouldn't see his shadow in the shoji screen. Once he was past the shop, he broke into a run. Ukyo's shop was just outside the Shopping Plaza, which was already bustling with early morning Saturday shoppers. He wouldn't get anywhere trying to weave through the crowds.
Ranma leapt up high, and the awed gasps of shoppers on the street below faded as he flew through the air. He landed on a shop sign jutting out from one of the buildings, then bounced on top of the roof from there. High above the busy streets now, he ran freely across the top of the building, and bounded across to the next one, then the next.
Hey, get down from there!
It wasn't like the voice hadn't invaded his thoughts countless times before, but he gasped out loud at this time. He was still in the air, in the middle of a jump between two buildings.
Stop that! Get down from there right now!
Ranma landed hard on his feet, then stumbled forward. He tripped over his feet, and fell onto his hands and knees with a grunt. He was rasping for air, sweat was already beading on his brow even in the cold air.
What the hell was he doing? What about the baby?
Ranma looked up and out across the rooftops that stretched out into the horizon.
"...The baby?" he repeated his own thoughts back to himself in confusion.
He was out of practice, so leaping across rooftops tired him out much more quickly than it normally would. He hadn't walked along another wall or fence, or leaped across buildings, since that day Ryoga had scolded him on their way to their first visit to the doctor's office.
"Gone," Ranma said aloud.
That's right. He wasn't pregnant anymore. The baby was gone.
This usually painful thought now brought a strange sense of comforting relief through him. Even though the baby was gone, he could still feel it. It wasn't a matter of it never being anything there at all, but that it had never left. It couldn't. It was a part of him.
He had changed. His body had went through many changes, but it always wound up looking the same again. Externally, he was the same as he always was. But internally, deep within him, he had changed.
Ranma placed a hand on his stomach and held it there for a time, then ran his hand up his chest to his pounding heart.
"Same old moon," Ranma said warmly, his eyes closing in a strange sense of contentment.
The baby wasn't gone, after all. It was there in a feeling. Of a family that he'd never experienced before.
He used to know what loneliness felt like, and he still did. He felt it even stronger now that he had something to truly miss.
But he was also never truly alone. Because he had a family. It was there in the undying connection he had with the child he'd never meet, and with the man he hoped desperately hadn't done something stupid.
Ranma got to his feet, and broke into a run again. With already aching legs, he leapt onto the next rooftop. His chest was burning, but he couldn't afford to stop. He couldn't wait.
It was nearly noon before he had finally made it. The closer he got, the heavier his legs became. By the time he leapt down onto the familiar street, his knees were ready to buckle with the effort it took to hold up his frame. He was sweating profusely, and practically wheezing for air. Ranma made himself walk right in front of the house before he allowed himself to bend over, resting his palms on quivering knees as he tried to find his breath.
It was almost impossible to stand. He could barely breathe. A heaviness unlike any other was weighing down his whole body, as though it begged him to fall to the ground.
Heaviness?
Despite himself, Ranma's head shot up to look at the house.
He'd felt this heaviness before. And this was not his own exhaustion he felt.
The house seemed to be shrouded in thin dome of black, depressive ki.
Heaviness.
"Oh, shit…"