Chapter 21

We all sat and thought about that for a long time. It could have been Pam being tortured to no end in that basement and she was much harder to kill and there where a million worse ways to torture her than to torture me. I was suddenly very grateful that Hallow had gotten me instead of Pam. "I am glad that Hallow's spell went wrong." I said. Eric, Bill and Quinn all hissed in surprise and anger at me. Ruby Anne looked approving, but Pam just looked shocked and confused.

"Why on earth would you say that?" Eric hissed at me. "I saw what the … witch did to you why would you be glad for it."

I looked up at him. "Oh I am not glad for what she did to me; I am glad that it wasn't Pam. They could have done much worse things to her and her body wouldn't have just given out because of the damage. She would heal and they could do it over and over again. What they did to me was bad enough but what they could have done to her …" I let my words fall off and shuddered. "I would never wish that on anyone least of all Pam." I shrugged. "I love her and it would kill me for her to have to endure something like that just the thought of them inflicting that on her hurts me."

I felt a whoosh of air beside me and I turned towards it to find Pam sitting right next to me and pulling me away from Eric into her arms. She hugged me tight for a long time never saying a word out loud. I could feel her love for me and the new tenderness that she now bore me. She pulled back let me go quickly and whooshed back to where she was sitting before as if she had never moved and said. "Why on earth would you think such of thing? I would never be so self sacrificing." She laughed and turned back to the room.

I could feel that she was uncomfortable with her display of emotion so I turned to Ruby Anne and said. "What about my power's or gifts or whatever you want to call them. What is the deal? I know that I never had them before."

"And will she still have them when she is converted?" Eric said.

"Hmm," Ruby Anne said Eric reached out and pulled me back into my little niche at his side and I snuggled up tight against him. "I think it is just a side effect. Every human has the potential to do what you are doing. I think that when she brought you over she opened up your mind and each time she brought you over she opened it up a little further. She had already established that she wanted to be able to draw on the psychic connection that you and Eric have. From what I can tell the spell she was casting the night that we ambushed them was her weaving the two of you together even tighter preparing for another round of torture that would force Eric to go there and investigate. I think that once he showed up she would have tied you even tighter to the point of where if she physically harmed you she could physically harm him.

"I would have to look at that spell a little more to be positive. It is not as important as she never finished the second part of it. She just kind of fine tuned Aude's mind to the point of no matter where you are and how far away you two are she can tune in to you, see you and hear you. It was only amplified by the side effect of her opening up Aude's other abilities that she gave to her.

"I think the reason why it is much easier for her to tune into vampire and shifter thoughts is because of that connection and that well she was dead too several times over as it turns out. Easier to tune into the different and weird when you have touched the divine and found out all of its secrets. If your culture would have believed in reincarnation I would have said that Aude, is just the reincarnated version of her former self and had been living a different life somewhere. But I checked all of that already; I wanted to make sure that she wasn't missing from a family and life somewhere. I have sources on the police force wares and shifters who feel kindly towards me and did me a favor ran her prints through the system pawed through all the missing person reports, birth records. She didn't exist before Hallow brought her back."

Quinn laughed. "I heard about that. I heard about you asking about some mystery woman and all the hours that the community poured into locating her."

Ruby Anne just nodded. "That is how I figured out that your culture didn't believe in reincarnation. It was actually quite fascinating." Eric scowled at her. "In a morbid sort of way, I mean really how often to you get to find out about a culture that was completely wiped off the map almost a thousand years ago." Eric glared again. "Anyways," she said uncomfortably. "as far as if she will have her powers when she is converted, your guess is as good as mine. I know nothing about the conversion process or if part of your special abilities are tied into potential that you already had in your human lives. So I guess you will just have to wait and see."

This only left the big bad thing that I really wanted to avoid and apparently so did everyone else. I sighed closed my eyes. "The dreams." I began hesitantly. "They are going to kill me eventually." I made it a statement and not a question.

"Yes." Ruby Anne said.

Everyone sat very still; I felt hot tears slowly slide down my cheeks. Eric broke first. "I will not let that happen. I will turn you tonight if you are vampire you will be able to endure much more and get through until they are done."

"Maybe." Ruby Anne said. "Maybe not."

Eric whirled on her. "What do you mean woman?" he demanded.

"They are physic scars. When you told me what was happening I looked at Aude's sprit for lack of a better term, and they are embedded there very deep. I think that the conversion would not make a difference. With as violently as her body is reacting to them I think all it would do is buy her some time. There is something not quite right about it. That is all I can say without looking into it further."

Eric was trembling in his fear and anger at Ruby Anne's words. "You think," he hissed angrily. "YOU THINK!"

I squeezed his thigh and said. "Eric it is not her fault." He stiffened but he shut his mouth and bit his lip he knew I was right and he did not want to upset me. I braced myself and asked. "How long?" I looked at my hand placed on Eric's thigh.

"It is not sure." Ruby Anne started.

"Tell her." Quinn growled. I felt Bill get up cross the room and stand behind me placing his hands on my shoulders Pam was at my side holding my other hand.

Ruby Anne sighed. "Six days at least. If it follows the pattern you gave me no more than nine days maybe twelve at the most depending on how quickly the violence on your physical body increases. Tonight should be them raising you no physical injury, then your ummm time with Mark, and finally your eventual death at their hands. It is all very dependent on how long they drew things out and how long they had you all together. Even if Eric converted you I don't think it would make much difference. It might prolong things for a month.

"The damage is coming from the inside. Even being a vampire cannot protect you from that. It would just make it harder to kill you. You might survive it if you were converted but I am positive that it is on a loop of some kind you would have to endure that every day for eternity. Your physical body might and that is a big might survive but I doubt that your mental state would survive much more than six months. The attacks are increasing in intensity you would have to endure more and more. Even the best of us could not endure that continues level of torture for long."

"I will change her then now give us some time to figure out how to fix it." Eric said shakily.

"Why would you want to subject her to that months and months of torture and pain just because you are selfish? This would not be happening if she had just listened to me and never graced your doorway. Her coming to you triggered it somehow. I see it clear as a bell, a glowing red seed planted deep within her. Your love sprouted that seed." Ruby Anne spit the words angrily at Eric.

Eric was on his feet and across the room. He loomed over Ruby Anne and roared with anger at her. "Eric." I said quietly. "Enough, what's done is done." He trembled his rage was palpable. "I would not want to endure that for the rest of my life and she is right why would you want me to?"

Eric turned and stared at me like I had just slapped him. "Pam." I said. "Take him for some fresh air please so that I can talk to Ruby Anne more." She nodded once at me and went to Eric gently grabbing his arm to lead him from the room. I could feel Eric's hurt that I wanted him to leave. I smiled at him. "I do not want you to leave husband, I need you to go though, calm yourself so that you can think more clearly. I will be fine. William and Quinn will watch over me. JAG älska du. (I love you)"

He pulled away from Pam crossed the room to me bent forward took my face in both his big strong hands and kissed me fiercely. His fangs had been out in his rage so they bruised and cut my lips. I wanted to pull away but I knew he needed this and I needed to be strong for him. He pulled away finally and said. "And I you wife."

"I know." I smiled weakly at him. "Go, calm yourself."

He pulled away from me gently and let Pam lead him out the front door. I waited until I knew he would be far enough to be unable to hear me and I buried my face in my hands and cried.