All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edward's steady fingers held the small glass vial carefully as he pulled the plunger, drawing the clear liquid into the syringe. My mouth had gone dry and I swallowed, my heart rate increased a little as a thin sheen of sweat covered the back of my neck.

"Are you alright?" Concerned eyes stared at me over the top of the vial. He'd obviously picked up on the cues from my body.

"I just ... don't like needles," I said and a look of pure disbelief crossed his features. His eyes narrowed.

"After what happened today, considering what's going to happen soon, this is what makes you break out in a sweat?"

He held the syringe up and I instinctively drew back, wrinkling my nose.

"I didn't say it made sense."

A corner of his mouth turned up, just hinting at a smile. He capped the needle and laid the syringe and the vial on the towel on top of my old dresser and came to sit on the bed opposite me. He crossed his legs beneath him, pushed his hair out of his eyes and picked up my hand. His thumb grazed over my rings, sliding them around my finger and he studied these little movements carefully as he spoke.

"Bella, this afternoon you were hit in the chest by a psychotic werewolf while another werewolf tried to rip his throat out. You were thrown into a wall hard enough to break the plaster and crack your skull on the bricks underneath and yet ... ."

"I know," I cut him off. "But I didn't have time to be scared this afternoon. It was too fast and I was too busy trying to make sure Abbey was safe."

Edward nodded, his head still bowed as his fingers continued to turn my rings.

"And after that everything was just ... bizarre ... and then kind of good."

His head snapped up.

"Good? Good? Bella, he's killed you ... that's why we're here, doing this right now!" He stopped and bit his lip, looking down again. He took a deep, steadying breath but his voice still shook when he spoke again. "It wasn't supposed to be this way."

I put my free hand against his cheek. Neither of us said anything but he looked towards my window and I was pretty sure he was remembering the first time he climbed through it. I crawled into his lap and wrapped my arms around him, tight.

"It will be alright, Edward. I promise."

We'd been in my old room at Charlie's for about twenty minutes now, the sky was changing colour, heading towards twilight. The mood was strange and kept shifting. There was always love, it was almost tangible, but it was mingled with traces of sorrow, humour, anger, regret, even relief. And a lot of nerves. I sighed as Edward and I held each other and I thought back over the day.

My decision to be changed was made the second that a giant wolf fixed his gaze on my daughter and tried to kill me to get to her.

I was a danger magnet and Abbey was being dragged into that magnetic pull now. I couldn't allow that. She needed a mother who could protect her properly, not put her at risk.

My decision was made. I had to change - soon. I just didn't think it would be this soon.

I didn't think it would be today.

Suddenly I had an overwhelming urge to get everything out.

"Edward, I want to write it all down. Do we have time for me to do that?" My stomach knotted at the last words and suddenly I was talking fast. "I ... I feel like I have to get this day out of me. There's good stuff I want to remember and other stuff I don't want to take with me ... I want to get it all out." I was breathing a little fast and he eyed me carefully for a moment before smiling softly.

"Where will I find paper?" Uncurling himself gracefully from around my body he climbed off the bed and stood, looking around the room.

"I think there's still some stuff in the desk drawers."

He looked through the drawers and in the middle one found an old notepad and pen. He brought them back to me but something on the paper distracted him and his eyes tightened and a small smirk formed on his lips.

"What?" I asked.

"Can I keep this top sheet?"

I was suspicious and my eyes narrowed as I looked at him. "I don't know. Why?"

Edward sat on the bed, very carefully, and showed me.

Doodles.

I'd obviously been scribbling at some stage, long ago, and in amongst a mess of spirals, shapes and swirls that filled the page, was a small heart with Edward written in it. I was blushing as he kissed my hair. I remembered writing it now - it wasn't long after we'd come back from Italy. It was probably the only 'girly' moment of my life and of course he had to find it.

"May I have it?"

I nodded. "I'm surprised you could see it amongst all the scribble," I joked.

"Vampire vision, remember?" He smiled as he ripped the sheet off with a flourish, folded it and put it in his back pocket.

I took the pad from him and chewed on the end of the pen.

"Um, I don't know where to start now. There's so much that happened."

His mood shifted again, the quiet smiles disappeared and he frowned. He laid down on the pillow and folded his hands behind his head while I sat cross-legged beside him.

"Tell me what happened," he said.

"You know what happened."

"I know, but sometimes, if you say the words out loud it helps get the thoughts clear in your mind and you're better able to write them down. Just start anywhere."

I took a deep breath.

"Okay, Zeke knocked me into the wall and then Jake jumped him. Charlie pulled me out of the way and somehow dragged me and Sue up the stairs while he was still holding Abbey. Um, then the wolves were fighting, they crashed into the new flatscreen and Zeke got a big piece of glass in his eye and he ran off howling with Jake behind him. I think the glass was still in him." I shuddered a little and stopped for breath. Edward's hand was resting on my leg, stroking, watching me carefully.

"And I felt really angry. So angry, like, like I wanted to rip Zeke's head off." I could feel it washing over me again. My chest was tight and my fists were clenched. The pain in my head was getting worse. "And if Jake hadn't been there, I think I might have tried."

Edward lifted my fist and kissed it, but he didn't speak. His action, though, had a calming effect and the tightness faded and my hands relaxed.

I took a couple more breaths.

"Then after that, basically, I guess Charlie discovered the existence of werewolves. And then he worked out that you and your family are vampires. You arrived and completely lost it and smashed up Charlie's living room. I asked you to change me so I could keep Abbey safe and you agreed. Jake came back and told us that Zeke was being taken away for good and was probably blind in one eye. You lost it again. Abbey ate mashed banana and Alice had a vision of me dying from a brain haemorrhage if I left Charlie's house."

I was out of breath.

"And now, Charlie's off with your family while they explain more things to him. Then he'll go stay with Sue while we stay here. You're going to inject me with morphine soon and then you'll bite me and turn me into a vampire." I paused for breath. "It's been a big day."

Edward reached up and gently pulled me down onto his chest. His face was unreadable, his eyes were closed.

"It has been a very big day, love." He kissed my hair. "Did it help? Saying it out loud?"

I sat up and reached for my pad and pen.

"Yep, I think so." And I began to write.

Not surprisingly, Charlie's first reaction after the wolves ran off was to ask What the hell just happened here?

More surprising were his next words. So I guess those old Quileute legends of Billy's aren't just crazy stories. Turned out he was familiar with the legends - he and Billy had laughed and made fun of them when they were boys. But that wasn't wasn't all he remembered.

I had told Alice I would be visiting Charlie, so when my future disappeared from her visions she panicked and turned up unexpectedly with Carlisle to check on me. With the Quileute legends fresh in his mind I realised Charlie was watching them with new eyes and I felt it when things clicked into place for him. Their golden eyes, the inhuman grace, the touch of Alice's hand on his forearm. Charlie looked at her icy fingers on his skin then looked into her eyes. He'd gasped and whispered ... Cold Ones.

So while Carlisle checked me over in the living room and explained that I had mild concussion, bruised ribs and suggested I get a head scan, Alice and Sue, with Abbey, took Charlie into the kitchen to explain different things and make him a cup of hot, sweet tea.

"I still can't believe he accepted it as well as he did." I put down the pen and shook my hand, flexing my fingers.

Edward shrugged. "Remember how well you accepted it?" He reached over and began massaging my hand.

"Yes, but I'd seen you move at super human speed and stop a van with your bare hands. He hadn't seen that. Plus I was in love with you."

He smirked and actually looked a little smug. "I know, but Charlie's not a fool. He's always wondered about my skin and eyes, the way I move ... and the fact he's only twice seen me eat anything." My hair was falling over my eyes as I looked down at him and he reached up to tuck it back behind my ear. "You can only be on a special diet for so long."

I smiled and touched his hand where it stayed, gently making circles on the skin behind my ear.

"I guess it helped that he'd just seen two werewolves explode in front of him." I said. "Vampires weren't too big a jump after that."

"There is that, but I think a lot of it came down to how well he's come to know us. He realised we weren't dangerous. And also, he trusts your judgement."

A smile spread across my face. "Really?"

Edward nodded. "He does. Very much." He picked up the pen while I was smiling to myself. "Although he briefly thought of killing me when he saw me this afternoon. Not seriously, just idle, reflex action sort of thoughts ... any father would have them in the same situation." A knowing smile crossed his lips and I chuckled. "Would you like me to take over?" He sat up against the pillows and held up the pen. "If your hand is tired you could dictate to me."

"Take a letter, Mr Cullen," I smirked and he rolled his eyes as he picked up the pad.

"Alright, I'm ready," he said. "Keep talking."

Edward had been called. Esme and Rosalie, too.

Sue and Rosalie had started cleaning up the mess in the hall while Esme, Alice and Carlisle sat with Charlie, Abbey and me. Sue seemed surprised and relieved that so far, no-one showed her any ill-feeling about what happened. We all knew it wasn't her fault, but she was dreading Edward's return.

And Edward arrived not long after. We heard Emmett's jeep pull up and before the engine was cut Edward had run in, swept me and Abbey into his arms and clung to us. Then he lifted Abbey from me and held her up, looking at her with relief, before hugging her to him.

"Dah!" She was excited to see him and they rubbed noses.

Then, not worrying that we had an audience or that he was holding our daughter, he put his hand on my cheek and kissed me fiercely. My head span a little and I heard Emmett clear his throat before Edward's lips left mine. He rested his forehead gently against mine while Abbey grabbed at the collar of his shirt.

"You're safe," he whispered. "You're both safe."

"Yes," I stroked the back of his neck and I knew that Carlisle was quickly running over my injuries in his head for Edward's benefit.

He sighed. "How could this happen? They were supposed to be keeping a close watch on him." He looked to Sue but it was Carlisle who spoke.

"No-one knew Bella and Abbey were going to be here, Edward."

Edward looked at Abbey again, his thumb stroking her chubby cheek, and I knew what he was thinking. A wolf tried to kill her, we could have lost her today.

He shook his head angrily. "That's not the point. We shouldn't have to check schedules with wolves! If Bella goes to the Thriftway, or into Port Angeles, or to visit her father does she have to check Zeke's plans first?" He ran a hand roughly through his hair. "This means they're at risk every time they leave home without one of us."

I could see the fury building. I glanced at Esme and she understood, too.

"Let me take Abbey, Edward, while you talk about this with Bella. Charlie, Sue, would you like to help me find Abbey something to eat?" She gave them a pointed look and they all left the living room together.

And then Edward lost it.

"We did everything they asked! Everything! We stayed away, we obeyed the terms of the treaty!"

He was shouting as he paced, pulling his hands through his hair.

"Carlisle, you treated their injuries. I repeatedly trusted them with the most important thing in my world!" He held out a shaking hand towards me while he looked at his father. "I stood by and watched my pregnant wife parade in front of them just so they'd know I wasn't killing her!" Hand still extended, his long fingers curled into a fist and without looking, smashed it through the old flatscreen that still hung half off the wall. There was an explosion of glass as the screen dissolved onto the floor in a shower of black and silver.

Jasper was frowning hard and if he was trying to calm the mood it wasn't working. I thought I saw Rosalie roll her eyes.

"Edward, son ... ," Carlisle tried to soothe but right then Edward was beyond soothing. He hadn't finished yet.

"I didn't cross their fu... , their treaty line and Lord knows the number of times I struggled with that ... how close I came, but I didn't. I kept our end of the agreement. But not any more." He was shaking his head as he made a dismissive gesture with his hands. "Not any more."

There was a second's peace as he stood at the end of the room, eyes black, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.

"So what happens with the treaty now?" Emmett looked from Edward to Carlisle.

"The treaty was broken when a wolf tried to kill my wife and my daughter!"

Edward's voice was a roar and his eyes were dangerous as he slammed his open hand against the door frame. The wood buckled and splintered, the plaster around it cracked and broke as the wall shook. I gasped and his gaze shifted to meet mine. The hard, angry lines of his face fell and he crossed the room in two steps and pulled me to him again.

"I"m sorry, love, I'm sorry."

And I knew the sorry wasn't just for scaring me. It was for what had happened and it was because the protection of his wife and daughter had fallen to Jacob instead of him.

I stopped talking and looked over Edward's shoulder, feeling a little wary.

"Are you writing exactly what I say?"

"Mostly," he said. "I'm taking out the um's."

"Oh, good. I thought you might edit this part."

He shook his head. "No editing."

I'd wondered if this part of the story might have brought a fresh round of anger, but so far he seemed fine, which surprised me.

"You're okay with my interpretation of things?" I was wondering about the last lines in particular and he answered simply.

"It's all true. I was distraught and I'm sorry for the way I acted but, unfortunately, I can't change it."

He was looking down at the page, not at me, and I rested my head against his shoulder andstroked his neck.

"I love you," I said and he leant his head against mine."How come Jasper didn't do his thing while you were ... you know, like this." I pointed at the page.

"He did do his thing."

"It didn't work, then."

"No, it worked."

"Oh ... I don't get it."

He looked up from the pad and I could see the regret in his eyes. "Poor Charlie's lucky he still has a house." He gave me an apologetic half smile.

"Oh. You were really angry, then."

"Mm hm. Understatement, Bella." He looked back down and started doodling in the corner of the page.

"But you're not now."

"Oh, yes I am. But not like before. I'm handling it, now." He shot me a smile and I smiled back. "As I said, I can't change things and my priority is you and Abbey." He leant in and nudged me with his nose, bringing his lips to mine. He kissed me slowly then whispered. "You and Abbey are my life."

Then he pulled back, took a deep breath and smiled. "So, what's next, Bella?" He raised the pencil over the page and I grinned.

"Mashed bananas."

And Edward groaned.

After Edward's display he apologised to Charlie and assured my Dad that all the damage would be taken care of. He apologised to Sue as well, letting her know he didn't hold her responsible for what happened with Zeke. Then everyone discreetly moved into the kitchen so Edward and I could have some alone time.

We curled up on the sofa. My body tucked in tight against his. My arms went around him and my head rested against his chest. His hands stroked my arms, my face, they played softly in my hair. We held each other like that, just being together, breathing each other in.

"How's the head?" he asked.

"Sore. But I was lucky, I'm surprised it wasn't a lot worse."

"Carlisle thinks you should have a scan."

"I know. I'll go when everything's settled down a bit here. Maybe tomorrow."

"You're not going to argue?"

"No."

He squeezed me gently and kissed my cheek.

The sounds of our family floated through from the kitchen - a murmur of voices. I knew Edward could hear every word and even though I couldn't, I knew they were discussing what should happen next. They were waiting to hear from La Push.

I knew what I wanted to happen next and that was when I told Edward I wanted to change. I started listing the reasons before he could argue with me, ticking them off on my fingers; Abbey's safety, the whole danger magnet thing, the Volturi checking on me ... and then Edward stopped me. He wrapped his fingers around mine and kissed them. His eyes were gentle.

"Yes. I'll change you."

"Really?" He wasn't going to argue with me?

"I promised, remember? I'll change you whenever you want me to, no questions, no discussion."

And then I hugged him hard and a pain shot through my head. I rubbed my bump and his eyebrows came together in concern.

"Are you alright, love?" His fingers grazed softly over my bump.

"Sore head. How long until you can change me?"

He considered for a moment. "Well, after I've sorted out things in La Push, we'll put around an Edward and Bella leave to go to college story ... that will work for this time of year. You'll want to say goodbye to people, but Charlie won't be such an issue now. We still have the house in Alaska so the location is no problem. I'd say ... two weeks." He smiled but I was still stuck back on the first thing he said.

"What do you mean about La Push?"

Something flickered through his eyes, I wasn't sure what it was. There was a moment of silence before he spoke.

"Bella, I won't let this go. I will fix this."

I was on alert now and moved out of his arms to sit up. Edward sat up too and I shifted so I could see his face. "What are you going to do, exactly?"

He didn't answer me straight away but his eyes darkened slightly as he stared into mine and I had a pretty good idea the fate that awaited Zeke. "He won't be a threat again."

And suddenly I was scared.

"No, Edward, please, can't we wait and see what Sam decides? You know he won't tolerate this and Jake won't either. Sue's already said he'll probably be sent away. He'll stop phasing then, he won't be a problem." I was trying to keep the fear out of my voice.

"Bella, he almost killed you and Abbey." Oh no, the deadly calm voice.

"I know, Edward, and I don't want him to get away with it either, believe me. But more than that I don't want to risk losing you. If you go down there to get him you know they won't just let you walk in and ... well, if things went too far, they would kill you."

I was breathless now, desperate to stop him doing something stupid.

Edward's eyes softened and a smile hinted at his lips. "They can't kill me, love."

"They killed Laurent." I whimpered.

His eyes tightened then and his lips thinned.

"Please, Edward."

He was quiet for a while and he was chewing his lip as he stared at me. He was struggling, I knew that. So I said straight out what I was thinking.

"Edward, is it about revenge, or keeping us safe? Because soon we won't even be here, we'll be in Alaska and in two weeks I'll be like you and Abbey will never be vulnerable again."

The struggle peaked. His head fell back on his shoulders, he closed his eyes and exhaled sharply.

"Alright. I'll wait to see what Sam decides."

"Promise?"

He hesitated slightly but then dropped his face back to look at me.

"I promise I'll wait and see what Sam decides."

I nodded, recognising the qualification in that sentence and understanding what he meant. At that moment I knew it was the best I was going to get.

"Thank you, Edward."

I hugged him, resting my head back on his chest as his arms went around me again and he eased us back down onto the cushions. We stayed that way for a while, both of us calming, and then we heard Abbey grizzle from the kitchen.

Instantly, our moods shifted, everything else falling into the background.

"I'll go. You're supposed to be resting."

Edward smiled as he got up and left the room, returning a moment later with our daughter in one arm and a bowl of mashed banana and a toweling cloth in the other.

"Someone's hungry." Edward pulled up the footstool and sat opposite me. I took Abbey and sat her on my lap while Edward scooped up some of the banana onto the spoon. He touched it softly to her lips and she opened wide, gulping it down. He smiled and the energy in the room shifted again.

We needed this. This simple, domestic routine brought us back to ourselves. And while it emphasised how much we almost lost, it also showed us just how much we had.

"Open the cave, here comes the bat," he said, spiralling the spoon towards her as she giggled.

"What happened to here comes the aeroplane?"

"Everyone does the aeroplane, Bella," he smirked.

I rubbed my hand over Abbey's hair as Edward gently scraped some escaped banana from her chin and re-fed it to her. Suddenly I just wanted to be home, in our cottage, all the drama behind us.

"Edward, when she's eaten and we've cleaned up in here ... ," I glanced at the broken glass and plaster pieces scattered everywhere. "Can we go home? Charlie could come with us and stay until the house is fixed."

He smiled and nodded. "Sounds good."

"Dah!" Abbey grabbed for the spoon but Edward was too quick for her. She grizzled and waved her hand towards him.

"You want the spoon?" He wiped the excess banana off on the edge of the bowl and handed the spoon to her. She gurgled happily, waving it in her fist, then she quickly plunged it into the bowl, jerking it back up and spattering mashed banana all over Edward's face. He wrinkled up his nose, grinning, and Abbey giggled. Then she leaned forward on my lap, reaching out the spoon to him as he wiped his face clean on the toweling cloth.

"Dah!"

She wanted to feed him. This was her brand new game and I'd eaten my fair share of dribbly mashed apple that morning while Edward was hunting. I bit my lip, trying to stop the giggle that was begging to come out. Edward looked down at the mushy, brownish-yellow goop on the dribble covered spoon. His lips twisted and I wondered what he was going to do.

"Dah!" She leaned a little further forward. "Dah!" And Edward sighed, grinned at her and bent his head lower. He looked comical as he raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth and Abbey jabbed the food inside. He swallowed quickly and plastered a smile on his face.

"Mm, yum! Thank you."

Abbey giggled and my laugh finally broke free. Edward looked at me and narrowed his eyes, but he laughed, too.

"I'll remember this when we're in Alaska, love. You won't laugh, then."

He was no doubt right, Abbey would try to feed me again, but the laughter felt good right now, so I kept going. He grinned along with me.

Then surprisingly Edward sucked some more banana off his thumb and when I started to comment he quickly stuck the spoon in my mouth.

He grinned again and stood up, ducking out of the way before I could flick more mashed banana at him.

"Just wait till I'm stronger than you, Edward. Two weeks, just two weeks!"

We were both smiling as Edward finished writing.

"That's a memory I definitely want to keep. How did it taste?"

"Revolting and slimy."

"You say that about all human food."

"Because it's true. All human food is revolting and slimy."

"And yet you cook for me."

"Because I love you and I don't have to eat it."

Fair point.

"But you'd let Abbey feed you again, wouldn't you?"

"Yes."

My smile got wider. "You're a good dad, Edward."

He turned to me and his eyes were soft.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Then he flipped over to a new page and sat, pencil poised.

"I guess the next bit is Alice's vision," he sighed.

We'd been wiping ourselves clean of mashed banana when Edward's head snapped up towards the living room door. Alice stood there, eyes glazed over, clearly mid-vision. Her face wasn't just pale, it was ashen. Carlisle and Rosalie were with her, their faces worried.

I turned to Edward and his face matched Alice's.

"Edward?" I stepped towards him and Rosalie came forward and took Abbey from me.

"Let me take her for a bit," she said gently.

"Why, what is it?"

I turned back to Edward but he didn't speak, he just wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my hair.

"Alice?" I looked up at her, scared, needing to understand. Finally she answered me and her voice was flat. "I see you collapsed on the floor of the cottage. You're ... dead."

I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

"Why? When?" I mouthed the words, incapable of sound.

"I ... I don't know. Soon, tomorrow I think."

"No." It was the only thing I could think to say. "No."

Edward guided me over to the sofa. We sat down and he held my hands. I wanted to see his eyes but he was looking down, chewing his lip.

"It will be your head injury," Carlisle said suddenly, coming to sit beside us and looking into my eyes, looking for signs of ... something. "This can happen, people think they're alright and then a day or two later they suffer a brain hemorrhage or a blood clot. Alice, do you see anything if we take her to the hospital?" Carlisle had grabbed his bag now and was shining his torch in my eyes.

Alice crossed her legs and dropped gracefully to the floor with her eyes closed. It was the longest few seconds of my life. I wasn't breathing and I didn't dare think. Everything was suspended while I waited for Alice's next words. I knew they wouldn't be good when Edward groaned again and his head fell onto my shoulder.

"She dies during surgery for a brain hemorrhage."

There was silence then. No-one moved. Edward had stopped breathing.

I could hear Rosalie singing to Abbey, Emmett was talking to Charlie and Sue about football, obviously distracting them. Jasper appeared behind Alice and I felt a wave of calm wash over me, but my fear and panic were fighting it.

"What if I change her here, now?" Edward's voice shook and I could feel his lips trembling against the skin of my neck. His hands on my arms were shaking.

Alice zoned out again and Emmett's voice seemed far away and distant. The pounding in my head grew with my stress and I tried to stay calm.

Then Alice smiled and the air came out of Edward in a rush.

"Thank God," he murmured against me.

"That works," Alice smiled and a collective sigh of relief went around the room. "But it has to be here, today."

I sat motionless, relieved that I wasn't going to 'die', but trying to register that my change was about to happen right now.

"Why? It doesn't make sense." I wasn't asking anyone in particular but Carlisle answered.

"It's likely that a car journey would be enough to set something off," he murmured. He stood and started giving instructions while Edward held onto me like a lifeline. And then everything was activity.

I tried not to cry as I hugged Abbey and said goodbye. I was standing, Edward's arm was around my waist, and I kissed her cheek and she blew bubbles which dribbled onto my shirt. She rested her hand on my cheek and grinned.

"Mah!"

"I love you, too, Abbey. Mummy loves you too. I'll see you soon."

I blew a raspberry on her cheek to make her giggle and then Rosalie and Emmett hugged me before they took her home.

I wasn't sure what Carlisle explained to Charlie but he came in next.

"I'm not sure I understand everything that's going on yet, but Carlisle says I won't see you for a while, Bells."

I nodded, trying to smile in a relaxed, casual way. I was quite sure it wasn't working.

"But this is necessary, right? You'll be okay?"

I nodded and the tears slipped down my cheeks.

"I'll be fine," I choked out.

He nodded. "Emmett says it's just like going off to college. I'll see you at Christmas, or next summer?" He hugged me and I could feel the love he always had trouble saying. "Or whenever I can."

I nodded again as he held me.

"I know there's more I have to find out, but if you're with the Cullens I know you'll be alright."

His words meant everything and I threw my arms around him, which was kind of difficult because Edward still had his arm around me.

"I'll talk to you real soon, Dad. I'll call you and I'll see you as soon as I can."

"I know." He and Sue left with Esme. She'd take them back to the Cullen place and Charlie would learn more about what was happening. Poor Charlie. It was a big day for him too and I was glad everyone was so inclusive of Sue, for his sake. I was glad he had someone.

Jasper and Alice stayed with us and Carlisle rushed home to bring back morphine. He and Edward had a quick discussion about dosage and administration, hoping the drug would stop or reduce the pain of the transformation. I hoped it would keep me quiet and not alert the neighbours to anything out of the ordinary.

Then, everything was as much in place as it could be ... and Edward took my hand.

"Where would you like to do this?" his smile was sad. "Your old room?"

I nodded. "It seems right somehow, doesn't it."

He stroked my cheek with our joined fingers. "I guess it does."

He was leaning down to kiss me but suddenly he let go of my hand. Jake had come into the living room and in a lightning fast move Edward spun away from me, grabbed Jake by the throat and slammed him against the wall. Plaster fell from the ceiling.

"You brought him into her father's house," he hissed and Jake didn't protest Edward's words or actions.

"Edward, please." I tugged on his arm. "I'd be dead already if it wasn't for Jake."

"Edward," Carlisle's voice held a warning. Jasper was nearby, ready to do ... something, but I didn't feel him using his gift. Maybe he thought it was fair to let Edward have this.

There was a tense few seconds and then Edward released his grip. Jake rubbed at his neck.

"I'm so sorry, Bella, Edward." Jake's story came out in a rush. "I didn't know you'd be here. And he'd been getting so much better at controlling himself. But we still kept watch on him, he was never left alone, we made sure. Today was my turn with him ... I just, it was only going to take twenty minutes. I didn't know you'd be here."

I could hear the desperation in his voice. "I'm so sorry." Tears were starting in his eyes and I hugged him. "But you're all okay, right?"

"Abbey's fine," I said, not commenting on my own situation. Not yet.

"Where is Zeke now?" Edward asked and I wondered if Jake picked up the menace lurking under the surface of his tone.

"He's on his way to Canada with Jared and Paul." Jake stepped out of my hug. "He has family there, he won't be coming back."

I was watching Edward carefully. He was staring hard at Jacob and Jake was obviously uncomfortable under the scrutiny. I would have been, too - Edward's eyes were blazing.

"And we don't think he'll be able to phase again. The wound in his eye should've healed by now and it hasn't ... it's going to be blind." He shrugged. "Sam's wondering now if eyes are like the weak point of the werewolf."

"The Achilles heel," Edward smirked.

Jake nodded. "Something like that."

"Why will that effect his phasing?" Carlisle was interested.

"The gene won't work if there's any type of weakness. That's why we're made to heal so fast. Except the eyes, I guess." Jake shrugged again.

I looked at Edward, wondering, hoping, this would be enough for him. It was for me.

He took a breath and was focused on my hand which he held in his now.

"Jacob, Zeke's attack has meant Bella will need to be changed now, today," he said quietly.

Jake rocked back a little on his heels, as if distancing himself from what Edward was saying. His eyes became slits and he folded his arms across his chest as Edward continued.

"She's bleeding into her brain. If I don't change her she'll die." There was the slightest waver in his voice and I squeezed his hand.

Jake looked like he'd been hit. His expression changed from wary to horrified.

"I, Bella?"

I nodded. "It's true, Jake. From when I got pushed into the wall."

He shook his head slowly as he looked at me, then he rubbed his hands over his face. A second later he turned and smashed his fist into the wall, leaving a hole nearly as big as the one in the hall.

"My sentiments exactly," Edward said quietly, then he took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "Jacob, your actions today mean I have the opportunity to save Bella, and I will still have my wife and daughter ... and I thank you for that." His voice was firm and sincere and Jake was his shaking his head. "But as my wife has effectively been killed by one of your own, the treaty no longer stands and there will be no repercussions for what I do here tonight." No room for argument.

Jake nodded and tears were shining in his eyes again. "Sam already agreed to lift the treaty. He was coming to see you all tonight." He whispered, his anguished eyes still on me though he spoke to Edward.

"There's no need," Edward said brusquely. "Although he and Billy might want to speak to Charlie and explain some things to him."

Jake nodded. "Yeah, they will."

Then Edward's face changed and he moved closer to Jacob, insisting on his attention. He spoke quietly and a shiver went through me at the menace his voice held.

"But you can let Sam know that if Zeke ever comes back to La Push, if I ever come across him anywhere, I'll remind him what happened and I will show no mercy."

Jake stared at Edward for a moment and then he nodded.

"I'll let Sam know."

Jacob left after that. There was another hug, a promise that he'd visit me if he could stomach the smell, and then he was gone. I kissed Alice, Japser and Carlisle and then Edward carried me upstairs. It was time.

"I guess that's everything," I said and Edward put the pad and pen down on the bedside table.

"Do you feel better?" He was pulling his fingers very gently through my hair as I lay next to him now, tucked in against his side.
"I think so. It's like I've let the bad stuff go. I might take the memories with me, but not the feelings. Do you know what I mean?"

I looked up at him and could see that he did. Of course he did, he'd been through it himself, but it took him nearly a hundred years to get rid of his bad feelings.

"I know exactly what you mean," he said, kissing the top of my head. "But I want to know how are you feeling about me changing you like this?"

I laughed a little. "I don't know. I was shocked before when Alice had her vision but now it feels a bit like first night nerves or something. Like it's something I've been wanting and working towards and now suddenly it's here and even though I want it, I'm nervous." I paused and thought a little more. "But I'm excited, too." I looked up into his eyes. "What about you?"

He pushed his head back into the pillow and sighed as he closed his eyes. "How do I feel?" he said and then chuckled. "It's complicated."

"Tell me."

"Well, I think at first I was so angry about what happened that it clouded anything else. But now, I'm pushing that aside and I'm focusing on here and now."

"You're not dwelling?"

"I'm not dwelling. Not at the moment, anyway. No doubt it will come at some stage. I'll probably wallow, too." He winked at me and I laughed. "But I'll deal with it then."

My heart swelled for him. He'd come so far in the past year.

"But what I'm thinking now is ... you were right before when you said in some ways it's all good. Zeke is out of the picture and as much as revenge would be satisfying and sweet and would soothe my primal urges, you're right, there's no need for it." He shifted a little and I had the feeling he was still working on that one a bit. "You had already decided you were ready to be changed so the choice wasn't taken entirely out of your hands. And Charlie knows about us, about everything, so you don't have to cut him out of your life."

He wound some strands of my hair around his finger and kissed it.

"So, in answer to your question, how do I feel ... I'm nervous, I'm very anxious about causing you any pain, but I'm also ... ," he paused and took a deep breath. "I'm also hopeful and happy and excited because very soon I'll have you to myself forever. Does that sound possessive?"

"Yes, but I don't mind." He smiled and lowered his face to kiss me. Then he nuzzled me gently with his nose.

"What are you thinking now?" he asked softly.

"It was so hard, saying goodbye to Abbey."

Edward shifted, propping himself up on his elbow and stroking my face.

"She'll remember you, love. And you'll remember her."

He'd known exactly where my thoughts had gone.

"But I'll look different."

He shrugged. "Probably. But she'll see past that. You'll still be you. She'll know you by your touch, by the love in your voice, the way you say her name, how you play with her." He nudged me with his shoulder. "The way you sing her the Wombles song and get the words wrong."

"I don't get the words wrong!"

He chuckled and I made a mental note to check the lyrics on the internet sometime. Exactly how much would he know about Wombles, anyway?

We lay there for a while as the sky got darker. His arms wound around me holding me close to him. He touched his bare foot to mine, nudging it playfully. I nudged back. he nudged again then ran his big toe slowly along the sole of my foot. I giggled and looked down to watch.

Instead of being slightly shorter, Edward's second toes were the same length as his big toes - I'd never really noticed that before.

"Were your toes like that when you were human?"

"Like what?" he lifted his head from where it lay on my chest now.

"Your second toes are as long as your big toes."

"Er, I don't know. Probably."

"So it didn't get fixed when you changed?"

"Fixed? I didn't know they were a problem." He sat up now, scowling at his toes as he wriggled them back and forth.

"No, they're not. I just thought any ... imperfections, were fixed."

"Are you saying I have imperfect toes?" He was pretending to be hurt and I laughed as his mouth kept twitching, trying to hide his smile.

"They're not as perfect as mine, see." I wriggled my toes, too.

But he didn't look. Instead he kissed me. "None of me is as perfect as you, love." Then he laughed at his corniness.

But a thought occurred to me.

"Will I still have this?" I pointed at James' scar on my wrist and Edward frowned a little.

"Yes. It will be less noticeable though."

"I thought the venom healed scars and wounds."

"From natural occurrences, yes. But vampire venom leaves permanent scars. I still have mine from when Carlisle changed me."

I wanted to see!

"Where? I've never noticed."

"You won't notice, human eyes can't detect them and they're only barely visible to other vampires. Jasper has lots of scars, you'll probably be a bit surprised when you see him."

"From his days with Maria?"

Edward nodded, his fingers moving on my wrist, tracing over the crescent shape with the jagged edge.

"So I'll have marks where you bite me?"

"Yes. But I'll be very neat, I promise." He gave an awkward smile and then he sighed and looked towards the window. The moon was shining and suddenly he tensed a little. Not a lot, just enough that I was aware.

"I think we should probably start the morphine now, love." His voice was low.

"Already?"

He swallowed. "I can hear a change in your blood flow. I think the bleeding has increased."

Instinctively, I touched my head. "I didn't feel anything."

His fingers gently covered mine. "You won't, not yet. And if we do this right, you won't get a chance to." He bent to kiss my forehead.

I nodded as my stomach clenched. This was what I wanted, but I was still nervous.

"Er, I wonder ... ," he looked towards the dresser. "Do you have anything here you could change into? Something more comfortable?" We both knew it was probably a futile gesture, but he was going to do everything he could to try and make this better.

"Top drawer. They're the clothes Alice wouldn't let me bring with me."

He smirked as he opened the drawer and pulled out my old t-shirt and the sweatpants with the holes in them. He held them up.

"You were wearing this the first night I came here." He was smiling but his voice was sad. His mood had shifted again.

"It will be alright, Edward." I grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"I know," he sighed. "I just ... I don't want to hurt you, but I know I will."

I pulled him down onto the bed with me and held his face in my hands while I looked him straight in the eye.

"I have no illusions, Edward. The morphine might work, it might not. If it doesn't, it's going to hurt both of us. But this is what I want ... even if it hurts, even without the brain thing." I put as much conviction into my voice as I could. "This is what I want. And I trust you." He studied me for a moment and I hoped he could see the trust in my eyes. I could see the love in his. He swallowed.

"It's what I want, too."

He helped me change my clothes, carefully pulling the t-shirt over my head, sliding the sweat pants up my legs. Then I laid down on the bed.

"Do you want to get under the covers?" he asked.

"Not yet."

He nodded and then picked up the syringe from the top of the dresser. I noticed his hand shook slightly. He took a quick breath and his lips moved slightly and I wondered if he was giving himself a pep talk. His hand steadied and he came to sit beside me.

I put the knuckle of my left index finger in my mouth and turned my head towards the window, eyes screwed shut.

"Are you alright, Bella?"

"Mm hm."

I couldn't see him but I heard him take a deep breath. "Um, your jugular would probably be the best place to inject this but ... ,"

I stopped him right there.

"Not in my neck. Not there ... I don't think I could handle a needle in the neck."

"As I thought," he nodded and I knew the irony of it didn't escape him. "Inside of the elbow, then?"

"Better." I turned my head towards the window again and put my knuckle back between my teeth.

I felt his fingers running over the inside of my arm.

"I'm just going to ... ,"

I pulled my finger out of my mouth. "Don't tell me, just do it."

I chewed on my knuckle again. There was pressure and then a sting which only lasted a second but the pressure continued for a little longer. Then I felt him pressing down as he pulled the needle out of my arm.

"All done," he said quietly and I turned back to look. He was sticking a band aid over the puncture and that made me smile.

He disposed of the syringe and then sat down on the bed.

"How long until it takes effect?"

He pulled his hand through his hair. "A little while." He brought his knees up under his chin, arms wrapped around his legs. He was watching me carefully.

"What will happen?"

"You'll feel relaxed, maybe drowsy. The pain in your head will go away."

"And then you'll bite me?"

He reached out to me and pulled me into his lap. I nestled against him, breathing him in and he let out a heavy sigh. "When you're ready, yes. And I won't leave you. I'll be here every moment, I'll talk to you about all the things we've done, who you are, things you've told me from before we met. I won't let you forget anything."

I snuggled deeper against him.

"What about Abbey. She shouldn't go three days without either of us." My heart was twisting just at the thought of it.

"I know, love. I'll ask Rosalie or Esme will bring her two or three times a day and they'll sit with you while I spend some time with her. But even so, I'll just be downstairs."

I nodded. That seemed okay.

"And when I wake up I'll be thirsty?"

"Yes."

"And you'll take me hunting?"

"Yes."

"But you won't let me see Abbey?"

"No."

I nodded, understanding, but he knew me too well.

"Bella, love, it's just until we're sure. We can assume her blood won't effect you, but as a newborn we don't want to assume too much. I don't think either of us would risk her that way."

"No, of course not. It's just ... how long before you'll let me see her?"

"We'll try after your first hunt."

We were quiet and I could feel the morphine was taking effect. The pain in my head was fading. Edward held one of my hands and his other was playing in my hair. It felt good and I closed my eyes as my body was becoming more relaxed and I sank deeper into his lap. His fingers pulled gently through the strands, twisting them around his fingers.

"Will Carlisle stay downstairs the whole time?"

"He'll come and go but he'll be here part of every day and night." His fingers moved to my jaw, stroking softly there. "They'll all take shifts, so someone will be downstairs all the time."

"What for?"

"In case we need anything."

"Moral support for you?"

He smiled. "That too."

His fingers trailed down to my neck and pushed my hair back over my shoulder, tucking it behind my ear, carefully.

My eyes shot open.

"What?" he asked, slowly drawing back his hand and looking wary.

"Nothing, just ... you moved my hair out of the way. You're getting me ready aren't you?" He was silent for a moment before he answered.

"Yes."

Then he looked a little sheepish. "Actually, it's more that I'm getting myself ready."

I cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Well, my body and my mind are so attuned to not biting you, I'm giving myself permission to let the venom flow freely." He reached up very hesitantly, eyebrow raised in question, and at my nod he stroked his fingers over my neck again, slightly firmer this time, letting them rest on the pounding pulse of my jugular. His eyes fluttered closed and I saw the movement in his throat as he swallowed. Once, twice, three times.

"No performance anxiety, then?" I teased.

He swallowed a fourth time and dropped his hand. He smiled as he opened his eyes. "I don't think you'll ever have to worry about that, Bella," he said smoothly.

My mouth dropped open. He was teasing me back! At a time like this Edward was teasing me back! I grinned. I was so proud of my vampire.

He looked into my eyes and I could see the love there, but now there was something else.

"Edward, are you starting to wallow?"

His beautiful face creased up in a grimace. "Just a bit."

"Are you going to tell me about it?

He sighed. "Yes", but he didn't say anything else. I waited. Then it came out in a rush.

"What happened today means you get to keep Charlie, and I'm glad for that, but I still wish your change was completely on your terms. I know that you had alreay made your decision, but it should have been a time, a day of your choosing, not because ... ," He paused and studied his hand on my leg.

"Edward?"

"I would have tried to make it special for you."

Oh, Edward. I shook my head.

"Don't do that," he was instantly worried and quickly stilled me with his hands.

"Sorry, forgot. But Edward, I'm actually glad it's happening like this."

His eyebrows came together in a frown. "You're glad you're dying of a brain haemorrhage?"

"Sort of, yes."

The eybrows went up. "This should be good. Go on."

I took a breath.

"I think, if you just changed me because I asked you to, even though we both want this, some little part of you, in some dark, tiny corner tucked away somewhere, would always feel like you'd taken my life. And in that little corner you'd always feel a bit guilty and selfish. But this way, if you don't change me I'll die ... so in fact you're saving my life, Edward. There'll be no need for corners." He'd had enough guilt - there would be no more.

He stared at me for a moment as if he hadn't understood what I'd said. Then he bowed his head.

"No corners," he whispered. He held me tight and I stroked his arm.

"But I'm curious, now, how would you have made it special?."

He chuckled lightly and tilted his head to one side.

"Well, I would have cooked for you ... your favourite food."

"Mm, what would you cook?"

"Um, mushroom ravioli?" He sounded uncertain.

"Good choice, Edward." Now he smiled.

"And I would have made love to you."

"Always good."

I ran my fingers through his hair as he bowed his head slightly.

"And I would have played for you if you wanted. Guitar or piano. Or both." Then his eyes widened and he seemed excited. He shifted me and started to get off the bed. "Actually, I can still do that. Jasper or Alice could go home and get ... ,"

I grabbed his hand and pulled him back..

"Edward, apart from the mushroom ravioli, we can still do those things after I'm changed."

For a moment he looked hurt and I wondered if I shouldn't have stopped him. But then the smile was back on his face and he climbed back onto the bed, pulling me into his lap again. "I know." And he kissed me.

"I mean, I will still want to do those things, won't I?" I was thinking mainly of the love making and I think he understood.

"You will, but maybe not at first. Your main focus will be your thirst, as you know. But the other desires will resurface. How long, I don't know. Everyone's different."

I dropped my gaze. There was a question I wanted to ask but suddenly I felt shy. My blush, however, ratted me out.

He lifted my chin with gentle fingers and my eyes met his.

"What will sex be like?"

The corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk. "I don't know. I've never had sex with a vampire."

I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean."

He lifted my hand and kissed it.

"Well, I won't have to hold back anymore. Physically, I will be able to give myself to you completely, all of me."

My heart skipped a bit. "You mean there's more?" I couldn't imagine it, but the thought was exciting.

"Lots more," he whispered, still looking at my hand. "And I'll be able to take you in all the ways I've imagined, all the places I've thought about ... if you're willing, of course." I was pretty sure I would be. And then he ducked his head lower and he could have been blushing. "And it will be primal and raw ... and incredible."

A shiver ran through me and he was shy as he kissed my forehead and that made him all the more adorable and I thought my heart might burst.

He ran his lips from my forehead down to kiss my temple, my cheek. He shifted us easily so we were both lying down, our legs tangled, bodies as close together as we could get them. His lips moved to my mine. A long, slow kiss, soft and sweet. His hands were gentle on my back and in my hair. My hands rested against his chest.

"I love you," he whispered and his lips moved to my chin, my jaw. "I will always love you." He rolled me smoothly onto my back. He kept his arms around me as his lips grazed my neck. My heart was pounding. Excitement, anticipation, nervousness. This was it.

"Is this it?"

"Yes, it is."

My heart jumped. I'd been waiting two and a half years.

"Okay." I tried to calm my breathing and screwed my eyes shut.

"Are you ready, love?" I could feel his breath on my skin.

"Yeah, are you?"

"I am, yes."

I swallowed, eyes still shut. All was still and silent as I waited for him to start but I was surprised when I heard his soft voice again.

"Bella, please look at me, love. Open your eyes."

I did. His were staring straight into mine. They were darker now, almost black.

"I'm a selfish man, Bella." His voice cracked slightly. "I want to be your last human memory."

Our gaze held and the love there was so powerful, so strong, I could feel it flowing between us. But the morphine was really taking hold and my eyelids were getting heavy. Slowly they were closing but Edward held our gaze until the last and just before they finally shut I saw his lips move as he mouthed one word ...

forever.

In the darkness I felt his lips on mine, then they glided along my jaw and down to my throat. His wet tongue swirled over the pulse there. He placed a kiss, soft and tender, then another swirl of his tongue and then, for the very first time, I felt his teeth.

They grazed lightly over my skin, smooth and hard as he lifted my hand and gripped it.

"Hold on," he whispered against the throb in my throat. I held on, my fingers curling through his.

"I love you, Edward. And thank you."

His fingers tightened slightly around mine. His lips pressed against my pulse point in one more kiss and then Edward's teeth sliced through my skin.

Searing, scalding pain.

Pain that wracked my body, making me arch off the bed. Pain that made me sob and snarl until my throat was raw.

Pain that defied morphine - the drug only served to make my muscles too heavy to thrash, and my lungs too heavy to scream.

I could track the venom as it burned through my body and I wanted to die.

But through the pain there was the voice.

The voice was always there, sometimes it changed, became lighter, softer, but mostly it was the same. Velvet, soothing, I couldn't always understand the words but as it spoke I would see things ... people, places, events. Sometimes the voice sang. Sometimes there was music. I came to depend on the voice, I clung to it like a life line. Without the voice I wouldn't survive this.

And then, perhaps a thousand years later, or it might have been a moment, the pain picked up. The burn intensified and I pleaded with the voice to kill me. The voice said no. I begged but the voice still said no. And then the voice told me I was nearly there, it was almost over. And there was a racing in my chest, something pounding fast and hard. And the burn was running to it, speeding towards the pounding and I knew when the two collided it would be the end - because nothing would survive that.

An almighty thump that rocked my body ... and everything stopped. The pain faded away. There was a flutter in my chest. On and off, the space between them getting longer, the sensation becoming weaker, until finally there was one single flutter, then one more, then nothing. My eyes opened and I took a breath.

"Help me!"

The fire was back, contained in my throat, and it was unbearable. Some part of my brain was telling me to control it, to master it, another part would killfor relief.

I sat up, gasping, my hands clutching my neck, the burn so strong it obliterated everything else - sight, sound, smell. And then something was at my lips, something hard and smooth. It seemed familiar, but wrong. A cup?

"Drink!" It was the voice and I drank.

And oh, the relief. The liquid flowed through my mouth and down my throat. Salty, sweet, thick and warm. I gulped and swallowed, but I could feel the supply was ending, it was a trickle now and I sucked desperately, angrily. The cup was snatched away but immediately a new one replaced it. I didn't need to be told this time and when it was gone there was another, then another and another. Finally, I'd drunk enough to soothe the burn, to ease it so it was just a vague sensation that could be ignored.

"Thank you," I gasped and for the first time I took in my surroundings.

And I was overwhelmed.

I could see every crack in the ceiling, every brush stroke in the paint. Every splinter in the wooden window sill. I heard a toilet flush somewhere. Further away someone was talking to a pet bird. I heard seed spill into the cage.

The room was familiar. Things started to settle into place. This was my room, and memories started stirring. I tried to grab at them as they slowly began to sharpen and form.

And the scents and smells. Dozens of them, assaulting me, begging for attention.

I tried to sift through them, connect them with memories that flooded my brain. Some scents were faint, faded and I knew their meaning was insignificant - washing powder, shampoo, wood polish. I made the connections.

There was something familiar, and beautiful, which stirred more memories. And there was something dangerous I couldn't place. And there was another scent, something that tickled slightly at the dull burn in my throat, but still left it manageable. I was trying to place it, but I was distracted.

The voice.

So beautiful, it took my attention from everything else. The voice was everything. It was beauty, it was music, it was life, it was love. It said just one word.

My name.

"Bella."

Edward.

He was sitting on the end of the bed.

So beautiful.

I'd never really seen him before. Not like this. And I understood - my human eyes were not capable of seeing his real beauty, my human ears not capable of hearing the music that was his true voice, and my human heart had not been capable of holding so much love, because the love that coursed through my new body now when I looked at him would have been too much for a human heart to bear.

Images and memories overwhelmed me and some started to settle into place, like pieces of a puzzle.

Edward was a vampire and now, so was I.

So that meant what I just drank must have been ...

"Bella?"

He wasn't smiling. His face was weary and drawn, his eyes were wary and frightened.

Edward had suffered. And I knew why. While I'd been burning, so had he.

He reached out a tentative hand, eyes pleading.

"Bella?" he said my name again. "Bella, it's Edward, love."

I smiled. "I know," I said in a voice that wasn't mine and he smiled at my shock.

I reached out to meet his hand and his face relaxed a little. The tortured look faded away.

"You're Edward, I'm Bella. And Abbey's our daughter, is she alright?" My mind was jumping all over the place, noting everything about my surroundings while I sifted through memories and assessed Edward's mood. He was prone to moods, I remembered that.

"She's fine," he was smiling. "She's at home with Rosalie and Esme. Can you tell me what you remember about her?" His voice was cautious now, almost nervous but he needn't have worried, the image was strong.

"She has hair like yours and she's beautiful. And I love her." There was no fuzziness about that. That feeling was burned into my soul.

He gave a broken laugh, a mixture of relief, disbelief and joy. The lines of his face softened. He pulled a hand through his hair.

"What else do you remember?" he asked.

I took a second to process. "I remember our familes, the Cullens, and my Dad's Charlie, my Mom is Renee. We live in Forks and a psycho werewolf tried to kill Abbey and I got in the way." There was more but I was summarising.

"And you're wearing your Snoopy t-shirt." The visual cue served to put many of the puzzle pieces together. "I bought it for you, it's just for us."

"Yes," He was unbelievably happy and that made me happy.

Our fingers were touching, linking with each others slowly now.

"You're warm," I said.

"So are you," he smiled.

"You gave me blood to drink." A pile of empty thermos flasks littered the floor beside the bed. Their sides buckled and bent.

Edward nodded. "We realised while you were changing that this house was full of Charlie's scent. Your thirst would be so much worse, waking up surrounded by that and there are humans in the houses around here ... it would have been very difficult getting you away without you ... I didn't want to make things any harder for you."

I squeezed his hand and the action felt familiar. I squeezed again.

"How do you feel, now?" he asked.

"It's still there, but dull, like I can ignore it."

He seemed relieved to hear that.

"So what did I drink?"

He gave me a half smile and it shot through me like an arrow. Hundreds more memories went flying through my mind and if I'd had a beating heart it would have been beating out of my chest. I almost didn't register what he said.

"It was a deer. Emmett drained it for you. How did it taste?"

I shrugged. "Not bad. I still want to try a mountain lion, though. It's your favourite, right?"

His mouth dropped open a little. "You remembered that," he whispered.

I nodded. "It's weird. I still feel like me, and I have lots of memories, some are really clear but others are fuzzy. And everything's jumping around in my brain. It's like I've woken up from a really long, heavy sleep ... I know who I am and everything's there, I just have to put it together."

"It will seem that way for a while. He smiled at me but seemed surprised.

"What? Is that bad? Should I be doing better?"

"No! No, I'm amazed you're doing as well as you are." He sighed. "I was worried that at first we might have to get to know each other again."

I raised my eyebrows, giving him what I hoped was an are you serious face. Ihad the feeling I'd done that before.

"I didn't really believe that would be the case," he said and he inched a little closer.

"Things are falling into place," I said. "You talked to me while I was changing. And sang. And read." I noticed a guitar against the wall and copies of Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice on the bedside table. "We bought the guitar in Seattle and the books are my favourites. Wuthering Heights is new because I read the old one to death."

"Yes," His thumbswere stroking tentatively over my fingers and his scent was intoxicating. And suddenly, I wanted him.

"I love you," I said and the look in his eyes was overwhelming.

"I love you, Bella," he sighed and I thought his voice might break. His fingers gripped mine now, hard. "I love you."

More images and memories floated through my mind and settled into place and suddenly, more than anything, I wanted him to hold me. I wanted to curl up in his lap like I knew I used to. I moved nearer and reached my arms around him, bringing myself closer but not realising my new strength. He fell off the bed backwards with me sprawled on top of him.

And he was laughing, now.

"Careful, love," he said as I gasped out a shocked sorry, but his smile was pure radiance. "I think we almost crashed through Charlie's floor." But he made no attempt to move. Instead he lifted a hand and smiling, pushed my hair back as he stared into my eyes. The love there was deep and endless and though my heart didn't beat, I could still feel other familiar sensations. The muscles in my abdomen clenched, I felt my throat tighten and my chest too.

Everything was coming back.

I brought my lips down to his, kissing him. I was trying to be gentle but as he wound his hands in my hair and held my face against his, I couldn't hold back. Our lips moved together urgently and there were tongues and nips and nibbles and no-one had to be careful any more. When at last I pulled back, just so I could look at him again, he was grinning and there was disbelief in his features.

"What?" I asked.

"I just didn't think you'd want me like this, not yet."

Ah, I remembered the conversation.

"I will always want you." Then I ducked my head. "But I've really been missing out, haven't I?"

"We both have," he said. "But not anymore."

Could his smile be any more smug?

He lifted his head as he pulled mine back down and kissed me again. More memories and thoughts swirled through my mind, some clearer than others, some only part of something else, but slowly sharpening and coming together.

"Can you read my mind?" I asked suddenly.

"No," his smile was wistful as he stroked my head. "Nothing. But I almost think I prefer it that way."

"Should we get off the floor?"

He looked a little surprised but then agreed and I realised I was jumping from thought to thought again. He'd told me it would be like this in the beginning.

I stood up and reached out a hand to him, but as I did something on my wrist caught my eye.

A faint, silver crescent, barely noticeable, but there, on my skin. I touched it with the finger of my other hand, feeling how smooth my skin was.

I'd always had a scar ... the memory was foggy, James. I didn't want that to sharpen, I let it go again.

"My scar's different. This one's larger, but neater."

"That's mine," Edward said softly. He stood and with his hand on my waist, brought me over gently to the bed. We sat down.

"I bit over the old one, that's why it's a bit bigger, but there's nothing of James left now." He looked at me, clearly wondering how much I remembered.

I smiled. "Thank you."

I looked at my other wrist where there was another, smaller crescent. My fingers went to my neck.

"Yes, there too," he said. "And your ankles, the insides of your elbows and thighs. They won't be noticed by human eyes and they're faint to vampire ones."

His hand was stroking gently over mine.

I looked at him and somehow, though my mind was closed to him, he knew what I was thinking. In a heartbreakingly graceful move he turned his head slowly over his left shoulder and tilted it down slightly. I knelt up on my knees and came closer. His eyes, like his face were cast down, and in this pose he was so beautiful, his long lashes dusting shadows on his cheeks. I tore my eyes away from his face, it was an effort, and looked at his neck. It's beautiful lines, the strong jaw. He was so still, waiting patiently as I studied him. Slowly I pushed his hair out of the way and there on his skin was a silver crescent, like the ones on my wrist. I touched it, softly, tenderly, running my finger along it. And then, I leant in and kissed it.

He turned back to me slowly, eyes wide with surprise. I smiled, then wondered if I'd just committed some breach of vampire etiquette. I sat back on my heels.

"Sorry, was that wrong?"

"No. No, that wasn't wrong," he smiled and reached out to touch my face.

And then suddenly I was off the bed and crouching by the wall. There was movement downstairs and some deep instinct awoke in me - self preservation.

"It's alright, love." Edward was standing again, hands up, eyes and voice cautious. "It's Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Emmett."

I straightened before I even thought it.

"They were here all the time?"

"In different combinations ... everyone has been. They wanted to be in here when you woke, but I insisted they wait downstairs. I wanted it to just be us."

I smiled. That sounded right.

"It was just us when Abbey was born." I said.

He smiled and nodded. "Yes, it was."

A car, showers, a bean bag. And then I gasped as I remembered Edward's face as he delivered our daughter and held her for the first time. And we hadn't thought we'd have her, vampires weren't supposed to have children. And then more memories, further back.

I'd wanted him, he'd been reluctant. In the end ... my eyes narrowed as I grasped at the memory fluttering through my mind. I caught it and held on, letting it sharpen and solidify.

The meadow.

"You made love to me the first time in the meadow."

A soft smile started on Edward's lips that grew until he was beaming. But then a voice floated up from downstairs. It was familiar - Emmett.

"Whoa, it was outside, in the open! I always thought the deed was done here. Go, Edward!"

There was a whack, stone hitting stone.

"She can hear you now." Alice.

I ducked my head.

"I guess that secret's out," I said softly, embarrassed. I felt like I should be blushing, I even waited for the heat, but it didn't come. But the feelings were still there.

Edward shrugged a shoulder, his half smile in place. He almost seemed pleased with himself. He reached out his hand and I took it. Slowly, he pulled me to him, gauging my response. He discovered that I didn't mind.

Then my mind jumped back to our daughter.

"When can I see Abbey?"

"After you've hunted properly."

"Will you take me now?" I asked and then as he smirked I realised the double meaning of my words. "Hunting, I mean hunting."

"I know," he smiled and stroked my cheekbones with his thumbs as he held my face. "I'll take you hunting now."

Then he became a little more serious. "Love, when I open the door, you're senses will be flooded with Charlie's scent, and even the scent of werewolf."

Oh, of course. The danger scent that had been nagging me. It was werewolf.

He dropped his hands from my face and rested them on my hips.

"You'll probably have a strong reaction, you might ... ," he was searching, I could see and I wanted to make it easier for him. A phrase came to me from before.

"I might go vamp?"

He let out a breath and nodded. "You might go vamp. Hopefully the blood you drank will be enough to get you through, but it might be a struggle to get you a safe distance into the woods." He looked down at his feet. "We don't want to be rough, Bella, but ... ."

He seemed worried. I rested my head against his chest. Ah yes, I'd been here before. I liked it here.

"I understand, Edward. You'll do what you need to."

He nodded but he seemed a little tense. He turned us so we were facing the door, his arm was clamped firmly around my waist.

"Oh," he said suddenly and dropped his arm. He moved over to a backpack in the corner and I watched him, completely baffled. He held up a hand, indicating for me to wait and I watched as he reached into the bag and brought out a dark blue shirt. He pulled Snoopy off over his head and quickly slid his arms into the sleeves of the shirt. He balled the t-shirt up and put it into the bag.

"Snoopy doesn't hunt," he winked at me and that little action brought a huge grin to my face.

"We'll save him for later," I winked back and then laughed at the shocked expression on his face. Then the shock softened and he bent down to kiss me gently.

"Are you ready?" he asked as he pulled back again.

I nodded. "Yes."

"We're ready," he said, only slightly louder than normal volume. I took a deep breath as I heard footsteps come up the stairs. I didn't need the air but I found the action calming, somehow.

Edward reached for the handle and opened the door.