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Explosive Dragon


Death By Gangrenous Necrosis


In Which You Almost Feel Bad For Barty & Bets Are Made


"Who's that guy?" Ginny muttered to herself. Why was that guys on nearly every piece of merchiesise she saw.

"He's Krum! The greatest seeker in the world! How could you not know h-"

"Fred, don't you mean second greatest?" Ginny asked darkly. Her wand causally held in her hand.

"Y-yeah, my mistake." Fred stuttered. He had seen how utterly ruthless his little sister could be when pissed off. Everyone remembered what happened to Oliver Wood.


Alastor Moody. Ex-Auror, Ministry malcontent, and your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I'm here because Dumbledore asked me. End of story, goodbye, the end. Any questions?" The new Defense Agaisnt the Dark Arts introduced himself to the class.

Draco Malfoy raised his hand.

"Yes Mr. Malfoy."

"Anyone wanna take bets on how he kicks the bucket and how long it takes him to kick it, yeah? Ten galleons that he spontaneous combusts like our last one, yeah?"

If Draco Malfoy was any one but Draco Malfoy people would have thought he was joking, but since he was Draco 'The-Batshit-Insane-Pyro' Malfoy they took him seriously.

"Twenty that he gets poisoned." It was his turn to kill their professor. If Draco even thought about taking his kill...

Ron laughed like the madman he was, "Twenty that he gets sacrifed to Jashin-sama!"

"Ron!" Hermione stamped on the boy sitting next to hers foot.

You picked a scary one my minion.

"Sorry Hermione-chan." Ron winced.

"It is unYouthful to take such unYouthful bets!" Gregory leaped to his feet and struck a thumbs up pose.

"Yosh! Gregory is right!" Vincent cheered as he followed his best friend example and struck a pose."Professor Moody is to Youthful to die! If he does I will run around the lake five hundred times!"

"Vincent!" Gregory cried tears streaming from his eyes as he ran toward the other boy dressed in a green body suit.

"Gregory!" Vincent cried running towards the other boy who was totally breaking the Hogwarts dress code.

"Vincent!" Gregory cried as he enveloped the other boy in a giant man hug of Youth.

"Gregory!" As both boys hugged an image of a sunset appeared behind them.

Draco shuttered at the sight. "So no one else wants to take any bets, yeah?"


Hogwarts Drug Ring Uncovered By Reporter


That's right dear readers, a horrific drug ring exists within the very school we send our children to. It is truly shocking news, but even more shocking is that nearly the entire Hogwarts staff is involved with it. That's right folks, Albus Dumbldedore is the head of an extensive drug ring that deals in everything from morphine to oppiom. Still the worst news is yet to come: They've been selling to the students.

Proffessor Severus Snape, the head of Slytherin House and potions Professor spends his time 'cooking up crack in the dungeons' as one of my sources put it. My source also complained to me of the horrible smell it made down there. He claimed you could barely get though a potions lesson it was so bad. The Head of Ravenclaw and Charms Professor Filius Flitwick is just as bad if not worse. The former dueling champion spends his evenings selling cocaine to students after hours. It's truly a horrible how far the house of Ravenclaw has fallen. The Head of Hufflepuff Pomona Sprout is the Herblogy professor and spends her time in the greenhouses gardening. She tending to canabis, a drug commonly know as weed. A gate way drug that many a student are already using. One such heart breaking case is Draco Malfory.

"He{Draco Malfoy} used to be such a good kid. We were best friends and did everything together. Then he got addicted to the weed and changed. I'm afraid that he'll start on something strong. It horrible watching my best friend do this to himself. I just don't know what I can do to help him." Harry Potter, the fourteen year old Boy-Who-Lived cried as he told me about the trials of watching his dear friend fall apart. It is heart-wrenching to say that young Draco is not alone. Countless other students have become victims of the ring.

Not even the head of Griffiondor, Transfiguration professor and deputy headmistress is uninvolved. She been supplying the students pet cats with catnip. It seems even Poppy Pomfrey, the school nurse is supplying the students with all the morphine they could dream of. The flying couch, Rolanda Hooch always has herorine to sell and the ground keeper Rubeus Hagrid grows opium poppy out behind the school. The most shocking news of all is that Defense Against The Dark Arts Professor is Alastor Moody. The ex-auror has turned dirty and is supplying meth to the divination teacher Sybill Trelawney...


"Who put your name in the Goblet of Fire, under the name of a different school? I did." The Fake-Moody who Harry didn't know the real name of and was thus dubbed Fake-Moody monologued.

"So your the one who did that..." Harry muttered. He has been almost positive that that was Flitch. " I was starting to think that was Filtch way of getting back at me for what I did in third year."

"Who frightened off every person I thought might try to hurt you to prevent you from winning the tournament? I did." Fake-Moody monologued.

"I could have done that myself."

"Who nudged Hagrid into showing you the dragons? I did."

Kami was this guy still monologing? Harry was about fed up with all the monologuing he had had to deal with today. Wait a minute. "Hagrid was trying to show me the dragons?...That was not what I thought he was trying to do."

"Who helped you see the only way you could beat the dragon? I did."

"Now that is a lie and can you stop fucking monologuing! I'm sick of having to listen to it! First snake face then you! What's up with wizards and monologuing!" Harry ranted. He was tired of being monologued at!

That was when the Fake-Moody tried to stab him.

Yeah that didn't go so well.

"That was rude. If your going to monologue then you have to interduce yourself before you try and stab them. If your not going to interduce yourself skip the monologue and go for the kill." Harry shook his head before knocking Fake-Moody out.

Half an hour later in a different part of the castle...

"You know what this is?" Harry smirked cruelly down at his victim as he waved the tiny vile above the mans head."It's a poison of my own invention. It causes gangrene to occur rapidly. You do know what gangrene is don't you?"

Crouch refused to respond to the Boy-Who-Lived's questions instead he strained against the ropes binding him, but the lack of reaction have him away. If he had known what gangrene was he wouldn't be so calm.

"No? Well I suppose a simpleton such as yourself wouldn't. I should probably explain it to you then, now stay with me as I break it down into terms your puny little mind can understand. Gangrenous necrosis is caused by a insufficient blood supply, there isn't enough blood circulation in the body which results in cell death. The affected becomes dark, dry and sunken and eventually falls off. Usually it takes time for it to progress that far of course but not with this." Harry tilt the vile slightly, allowing a single drop to hit his prisoners right foot. "No, with this it takes less then a minute. Nasty way to go huh?"

"Mmh!" Crouch's screams of agony was muffled by his gag. The poison had burned its way through his boot to his skin. His skin began to black and shrivel rapidly spreading out from his foot.


"Remind me never to piss you off, yeah." Draco shook his head as he poked the body his professor with a stick. "Your one twisted motherfucker, yeah."

Harry rolled his eyes. "You incinerated our last professor."

"So, yeah? I didn't make it half as painful or painful as you did, yeah." Draco continued to poke the body on a stick.

"Why are you suddenly growing a heart?"

"I'm not, yeah. I'm commenting on how inhumane your kill was, yeah. I would have just burned him or blew him up, yeah." Well really Draco just wanted to piss Harry off and he had wanted to try blowing the guy up from the inside out using a bomb.

"He tried to stab me."

"Exactly, yeah!" Draco clapped. "He deserves a reward for that, yeah!"

"He turned you into a weasel."

"...Can we resurrect him and do it again, yeah? Make him suffer a little-a lot more, yeah?" Screw fire and explosions for once. That [Censored In Order To Keep T Rating] motherfucker needed to suffer!

"Want to help me hid the bodie?"

"Sure hand me the shovel, yeah." Draco held out his hand.

"You owe me twenty galleon." Harry smirked.

"Damn it yeah!"


The Fifth Hokage Hedwig

Episode 1: Righteous Female Fury


"Get back here you good for nothing pervert!" Tsunade shrieked as she flew down the hallway after her prey. "Jiraiya! When I'm through with you you'll never visit another bathroom again!"

The Toad Sage frantically hopped down the hallway. "I didn't see anything! The damn Anti-Male Wards always get in the way!" Somehow he preferred it when Tsunade just had super strength instead of flight. Now he couldn't even run away from her.


Hogwarts students paused for a moment to watch the great Snowy Owl swoop down the hallways after a toad that was running (hopping?) for dear life. None of them could under stand a word ether animal said but they could sense the snowy's bloodlust and righteous fury. That alone was enough to deter any interference. Nobody was going to get between her and the toad she was dead set on mauling


It took longer then usual to get this chapter written. I've been busy but I've found time on the bus and here and there to get my writing done. I had an unusually hard time writing Rita's article. It just didn't flow right and I didn't end up finishing it. It just wasnt coming to me. Sorry about that.

It turns out that InariTakahashi can't beta Explosive Dragon's beta due to fan fiction rules on how many storys you have to have over 6k+ words. So I'm still looking for a beta. Anyway InariTakahashi even if you can't be my beta I'm still really thankful for the offer.

I've gotten hooked on Fantasy Life again. I spent a lot of time fighting my way up to Master Tailor in order to get the Stardust Linien for my Hero Blacksmith...

Please review~

And anyone have any ideas for who Kakashi should be? I have a few ideas but I want to see if anyone can come up with anything better...I have an idea that I might bring Obito in for but if I do that I might not give ether the screen time Kakashi deserves...

Also any other great ideas for animal reincarnations?

KYR OUT~