009. Money.

'If there is any mercy in this world, somebody kill me. Right. Now.'

Iruka's mental plea to the universe remained, unfortunately, unheard and unfulfilled. He remained sitting at the Ichiraku ramen stand in the sort of condition one generally associates with running full tilt away from a pack of patrol dog-nin through miles and miles of brush… mainly because that's exactly what he'd just done.

Running for dear life, of course, builds a man's appetite, especially if said man has been chocking down nothing but ration bars for three days. So it was understandable that, after dropping off his mission report, he'd immediately made his way to Ichiraku's and demanded three large bowls that would have done Naruto proud (one with fish, one with miso, one with extra extra extra spicy curry).

Said bowls now stood on the counter before him, empty and violated. His hunger sated, the only thing left to do was pay, go home, shower, and hit the hay. But.

All of his money was gone.

Maybe he'd lost the emergency mission cash while hurtling through that rocky outcropping, or maybe he'd lost it when one of the nin-dogs had managed to rip at his vest. Iruka did not know.

He merely knew that Teuchi, the Ramen Guy, was smiling at him expectantly. He knew that, after the attacks on the village, people were tight on money in Konoha. He knew there was nothing golden and shiny in his armored vest to give to the man.

He smiled awkwardly back, rubbed at his neck, and considered his options.

He could A) jutsu away B) admit he had no money or C) pull a genjutsu on Teuchi, which would A) exhaust the last of his chakra and B) make him entirely too guilty to get the kind of rest that he desperately needed.

Option B it was, then.

"I'm sorry," Iruka began, "I- ah!"

He whipped around, kunai in hand, to face whatever the holy hell had just touched his ear.

"Yo, Iruka sensei."

Iruka blinked, blushed, and bared his teeth in something that could almost pass as a smile.

"Kakashi-sensei! How are you?" he inquired, in much the same tone one would use to say 'Go away, you dirty bastard.'

The eccentric jounin, in Iruka's opinion, was hard enough to handle at the best of times. Dealing with him in his current bedraggled, I-almost-got-eaten-by-dogs, about-to-skimp-out-on-the-Ramen-Guy state was an entirely different circle of hell.

"Oh, well enough. But I just couldn't help but notice you look a bit… stressed."

Iruka's right eye began to twitch, and he could almost hear his temple throb.

"Stressed?" he bit out, "Stressed. Yes, you could say I'm a little stressed."

Kakashi tisked, sauntered over to the ramen counter and leaned casually against it. Iruka blushed in annoyance, then blushed a bit more because blushing in front of Kakashi was embarrassing, damnit.

"That's no good. Let me see if I can help you out, ne?"

Iruka stared.

"Help me out?"

Kakashi nodded.

"With my stress?"

Kakashi nodded again, eye arcing happily.

Iruka was tired. The three day chase and the massive amount of ramen he'd just eaten was catching up to him, slamming him with the kind of exhaustion he hadn't felt since the morning after Anko's 21st birthday party.

He wanted nothing more than to take a deep breath and explain to Kakashi very explicitly just what activity he could engage in. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest, sighed in resignation, and asked the Copy Nin one final question.

"How?"

"By leaving, of course. You're obviously not in the mood for my lovely company."

Iruka blinked. That… was unexpected.

"Kakashi-sensei," said Iruka, a vague sense of guilt tugging his lips into a frown, "You don't- I mean, I didn't-"

Kakashi waved his words away with a short laugh.

"Go home and rest, Iruka," he ordered, pushing away from the ramen counter and placing a friendly arm around Iruka's shoulders. "You'll just have to pay me back," he purred, leaning entirely too close to Iruka's ear, "Sometime later, ne?"

With that, Kakashi vanished. A handful of leaves fluttered in his wake. Iruka blushed (not because of the arm or the… purring, damnit, but because of the entire thrice damned situation) and turned again to Teuchi… who was counting money that had definitely not been there a moment ago.

"T… Teuchi-san?"

"Here's your change, Iruka-kun," said Teuchi, handing him aforementioned change with a cheerful smile. "Have a nice evening!"

Iruka nodded dumbly, turned around, and walked into the cool night air. He should have been thinking about the nice, long shower he was going to take. He should have been thinking about the warm, soft bed waiting for him.

But as his feet followed the familiar path to his apartment, his mind kept circling back to Kakashi's stunt.

And how payback was really the least he could do.

Oh, hey, don't feel bad, you just injured my pride, but I can throw it all aside, and sweetheart, you know you're not half bad. -SHQ