Chapter 21: Guardian Angel
What a long night that was. Thank goodness we were almost back at the apartment. I kept glancing back at Zuko. For some reason, he didn't look so good and I became worried. We entered the apartment.
"You did the right thing nephew," Uncle Iroh said. That was when I knew something was wrong with Zuko.
"I don't feel right," Zuko said weakly. Just then, Zuko collapsed to the floor. My mind froze.
"Zuko," Uncle Iroh and I said. We both rushed over to him. I felt his head. He was burning up. I knew he needed water but at the same time I didn't want to leave his side. Uncle Iroh saw this and got up to get the water. I didn't know what to do. It was then that I realized that I was scared. Very scared. I held onto Zuko's hand. Uncle Iroh came back with the water. Uncle Iroh placed a cold rag onto Zuko's head.
A few minutes later, Zuko opened his eyes slowly. Uncle Iroh and I helped him get his clothes off, except for his shorts, and we laid him gently on the floor. I never once let go of his hand. I wanted to ask Uncle Iroh what was wrong with him but my voice wouldn't let me. I couldn't speak. It was as though someone had ripped my tongue out. All I could do was sit next to Zuko and watch. I was on the verge of tears. I didn't want to see Zuko like this, in this pain. It hurt every moment.
Zuko began to wake up again. He looked up at me and stared for a moment at my hand which was still tightly holding onto his. Then he turned his attention to Uncle Iroh. Uncle Iroh was placing another rag on his head.
"You are burning up my nephew. Stay under the blanket," Uncle Iroh said as he placed the blanket over Zuko. Zuko tried to get up but I helped Uncle Iroh lightly push him back down.
"...So thirsty," Zuko murmured. Iroh took a spoonful of water and handed it to him.
"Here, drink this," Uncle Iroh said. I watched in fear as Zuko took down the water within seconds. Then, he took the entire bucket full of water and threw it across the room. I watched him lay back down, shivering. I nearly started to cry.
The fact that Uncle Iroh wouldn't tell me what was wrong with Zuko was what scared me the most. I may sometimes act like an idiot but that doesn't mean I was one. It was like when Zito refused to tell me where my parents were when he came to get me from under the floor. Parents or guardians never told their children when something really bad was happening and I was afraid Uncle Iroh was doing the same because he didn't want me to be worried. But this only made me even more worried. Knowing that I may be watching Zuko's own demise terrified me and it caused me to hold onto Zuko's hand even tighter.
Soon, sleep began to try and overtake me but I wouldn't allow it. There was no way I could sleep now. I had not slept in days. Funny, how the reason I couldn't sleep each of those times was because of Zuko. Uncle Iroh offered to watch over Zuko while I slept but I simply shook my head at his request. I don't think I would have been able to sleep anyway. The fear that was consuming me was too much. Even Natasha could not comfort me though she stayed by my side faithfully. I occasionally glanced her way and could see that she, too, looked worried.
"You should know this is not a natural sickness. But that shouldn't stop you from enjoying tea," Uncle Iroh said. A pit formed at the bottom of my stomach at his words. Not a natural sickness...what could that mean? I held onto Zuko's hand tighter. I was surprised I hadn't broken one of his bones or something by now. Zuko took a sip of tea.
"What's happening?" Zuko asked.
"You're critical decision. What you did beneath that lake. It was in such conflict with your image of yourself that you are now at war within your own mind and body," Uncle Iroh said. What! You mean I was worried because Zuko is in conflict with himself. He wasn't going to die? Then why didn't Iroh tell me that? I relaxed a little and loosened my grip on Zuko's hand.
"What's that mean?" Zuko asked and he began to cough. I helped him lay back down.
"You are going through a metamorphosis my nephew. It will not be a pleasant experience. But when you come out of it you will the beautiful prince you were always meant to be." I watched as Zuko drifted back to sleep. He was already beautiful...at least to me.
Despite the fact that I was no longer worried, I still did not sleep. Uncle Iroh went to sleep but I didn't. I couldn't. I strained to keep my eyes opened as little Natasha curled up next to me.
I suddenly heard a scream and I jumped. It took me a few moments to realize that it was Zuko who had screamed. I then realized that I had let his hand go as he quickly sat up. Zuko began to pant as beads of sweat ran down his face. I gently put my hand on his shoulder. His skin was still warm. He looked at me and I stared into his soft eyes. I turned my gaze away from him.
"Belle...why are you doing this? After all I've said to you...after all I've done to you...why didn't you leave? Why did you stay by me?" Zuko asked. I looked back at him for a moment. Was he really that thick? I actually found myself laughing a little.
"Zuko, you really are stupid aren't you? How many times do I have to tell you?" I said and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I pressed my cheek against his. It was warm and I felt my body fill with the same warmth. "Zuko...I LOVE you...and there's nothing you can do to change my mind," and with that I gently kissed him on the cheek. I felt my heart soar as I did this, fearing that he would reject it or worse, not talk to me for a while again. But he didn't move, he didn't stir and I smiled.
"You scared me, you know," I whispered softly. I finally let go of him. He looked at me, bewildered and I was afraid that I had done too much. I felt my face grow red. I yawned, remembering how tired I was.
"You should sleep," Zuko said. By the tone of his voice, I still couldn't tell if he accepted what I had just told him or rejected it again.
"I'm not the one who needs sleep, it's you," I retorted, "now you should go back to sleep so you can get better and then I'll be able to sleep." Zuko for once obeyed me and he laid back down. I rubbed my eyes as I watched him go back to sleep.