Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. They have been borrowed for entertainment purposes only without any commercial gain.

Beware of strong use adult language.

Note: Once again, thank you to my faithful reviewers, friends, fans and readers at large...you make all this wonderful. To Stephanie, thank you for your great words. Please send me a note with your email address so I can thank you directly. To loopy...te amo.

Mine

Chapter 21

Allegro Ma Non Troppo

When the door closed, Kim let out a loud breath. Tears trickled down from the edges of her pristine blue eyes and a nagging sense of pressure inside her chest made it hard for the blonde to breath. She raised herself and sat at the edge of the mattress staring at the carpet.

'So…that's that…' she thought after a long while and rising to her feet she picked up her jacket and left the room. Once down in the elegant lobby, Kim heard the warm sounds coming from the bar and decided a drink was in order. A minute later she found herself sitting in the ample bar surrounded by the caressing notes of Etta James singing, "At Last". 'At Last', Kim thought. 'At last, what?' she sighed, rubbing the tip of her fingers on her right temple.

Abby opened the back door of her home at about 8:30 that night. The house was quiet and dark, except for the distant rumbling of the TV upstairs and a table lamp that Kerry had left on in the living room.

At least she knew that Kerry was alright; when she asked her supervisor, the not-so affable woman had only answered "No, Dr. Weaver did not mention any emergencies but you're needed home Miss Lockhart, that's all…"

Shedding her coat and leaving her bag at the entrance, Abby took her sneakers off and slowly, climbed the stairs.

When she entered their bedroom, she found Kerry lying in bed asleep. Her reading glasses perched on the tip of her nose and a copy of "Angels and Demons" on her lap, Kerry looked like a college student exhausted by the long hours of studying. Abby approached her lover in silence. Kneeling by the side of the bed, she took the book away and placed it on the night table but the motion, gentle as it was, was enough to awaken the sleeping redhead. "Sweetie…"

Abby smiled gently, in earnest. "Are you okay..?" -asked the student noticing the pinkish hue of her lover's eyes.

Kerry extended her arms forward and Abby leaned to land on Kerry's chest. For a minute or so, the couple relished in the comfort they provided for each other. When the older woman broke the embrace and Abby raised her eyes, she knew; Kerry had something to tell her.

Hours later, Abigail was sitting by the window, watching the lights of the city as they tingled in the distance. Sipping some tea, Abigail felt strange. Kerry had finally explained what had happened; the drinks and the conversation that never really took place, the lunch date, and the hotel room, everything. Nothing had happened, Abby realized, not only because Kerry had said so but also because she knew Kerry would not be the kind of person to lie about such matters. Kerry had been honest about what had occurred; she had spoken about the kiss at the restaurant and the kissing session in Kim's room. Abby was at peace with that albeit a little jealous; it was hard for her to imagine Kerry kissing someone else. She swallowed another sip of her hot tea and sighed, rubbing her thigh as she always did when she had a lot in her mind.

While a part of her was at peace with Kerry's confession, something inside her chest did not feel right for the young student. Something was off.

After they talked, they had gone to bed and had made love. And it was not the fact that they had made love that threw Abby off, was the quality of their lovemaking that had left the young student unbalanced. It had started normal enough but suddenly Kerry had taken an almost rough approach which Abby found erotic but peculiar at the same time. For one, Kerry was everything but rough during sex; if anything, the redhead exuded tenderness and control. For another, even the technique had been different. Because of her hip, seldom if ever, Kerry lay on top of Abby. This time and without any previous indication, the redhead had drawn both of their orgasms in such atypical fashion.

And the intensity…it had troubled Abby.

It had been almost as if Kerry wanted to grab on to something that was just outside her reach. Once Kerry climaxed in a choked, painful moan, Abby -still feeling the aftershocks of her own intense orgasm- hugged her lover close, feeling the older woman cry in short sobs. Minutes later after some caresses, long tender kisses and a few reassuring words, Kerry had rolled over to her side and had fallen asleep, her face finally showing some resemblance of peace.

It had been just so out of character for the normally gentle and tender Kerry Weaver. Not that Abigail was complaining; if anything, the change had fueled her passion during their lovemaking. But it had left the young woman with a feeling of uncertainty and doubt right on the pit of her stomach; a feeling she had never felt since she had been with the tender redhead.

She sighed, deeply. Raising her brown eyes, she gazed at the lights on the shore of the lake. Pale rays of sun had started to peak over the horizon. Another day would soon be upon them.

Sipping one more time, Abigail silently pray the new day would bring again, peace.

In her boxer shorts and sleeveless T-shirt, Kim roamed her hotel room. Debating whether she should go back or try to see the redhead one more time, the slender woman paced in front of the TV, not really watching it. She finally grabbed the control and shut it off smiling at the new found silence.

She wanted to see Kerry one more time. She understood the situation and no longer hoping for reconciliation, Kim was angling now for a shot at friendship; a chance to keep that wonderful and fascinating redhead, somehow in her life and its days. But Kerry had looked so pissed and hurt the day before that Kim doubted she even had a chance at that.

A soft knock on the door brought her out of her ruminations. "Kerry" whispered the blonde as she opened the door.

"I…hi…" –mumbled the redhead.

"Come in, please…"

Limping slowly, the older woman walked inside Kim's hotel room.

Abby changed into a fresh pair of scrubs and yawned. She was hungry, she realized and taking advantage of the 15 minutes she still had left before her shift officially was to resume, the brunette headed downstairs to the hospital cafeteria.

Humming an old Dire Straits' song, her eyes roamed over the doughnuts and the rest of the baked goods. She picked a couple of bagels, some cream cheese, a few slices of smoked salmon, two apples and two cups of coffee. Packing everything in a paper bag, the brunette headed for her lover's office on the 8th floor.

"She's not in Abby, sorry…"

Abigail turned her head at the sound of her name and realized that Christina was talking to her. "Excuse me..?"

"Good morning Abby…-said the young assistant with a smile-…she's not in…"

Abby stared at the woman in disbelief, "she's not..?"

"Nope, she came in early this morning, did some paperwork and left…"

"To go where..?" -Asked Abby, still puzzled.

"Oh…where was she going again? Uh…hold on…let me check…right, she was going to the Marriott, for a breakfast meeting…"

Abby suddenly felt stupid carrying the brown paper bag with food for the redhead. "Oh, okay…uh…"

"Would you like me to give her a message when she comes back…?"

"Uh…no…it was nothing important Chris…thank you, anyway…"

Abby walked in a dazed, not quite believing what was going on. When she arrived at the elevators, she dumped the bag into the trash bin and hit the call button several times. "Come on you fucking shit…" hissed the brunette, as she charged again at the elevators doors. "Come on!"

Ranking her fingers through her hair, Abby took the stairs. Once she got down to the lounge, she opened her locker and got her jacket out. Storming out of the building, the young woman flipped open her cell phone and called Neela.

"Just tell her something, whatever, that I'm sick or something…"

"But Abby…"

"Please Neela…"

"Is Kerry alright…?"

Abby paused. "Yeah…she's alright…" was her only answer.

Ten minutes later, Abby walked down the stairs from the EL and stared at the main entrance of the Marriott hotel in downtown. Now that she was there, she wasn't quite sure about what to do. Glancing around, the brunette walked a few steps and bought a pack of cigarettes at the news stand. Nervously, she opened the pack, lit up a cigarette and inhaled deeply; she hadn't had a cigarette in over six months.

A little more relaxed now; Abby finished her cigarette and ventured inside the hotel lobby.

Her original intention was to sit down and wait around until Kerry showed up. But she didn't have to wait long. In passing, she thought she caught a glimpse of red to the right of the room and turning, she located her lover, sitting with Kim, in a table at the hotel restaurant.

Abby furrowed her brow several times. Blinking, she struggled to make sense of the image in front of her. There, by a cozy table in the corner was Kerry, her lover, smiling at her ex-lover, Kimberly Legaspi.

Abby shook her head and focused again. This time her eyes registered the two women getting up and hugging tightly, as they exchanged smiles and what appeared to be, soft words of affection.

In hindsight Abby would have admitted that what she had seen was in itself, not so questionable. It was just two women, hugging. She would have admitted too that she knew what had taken place the day before. However, none of that knowledge really made any difference at that moment when she decided to approach the table.

"Abby?" -asked a wide eyed Kerry at the sight of her agitated lover.

Kim turned around to meet the brown eyes that seem to bore on her skin.

Abigail stood there, unable to articulate a single word. Her chest started to heave, constricted as it was by the rampant emotions she had been feeling in the past hour. Her eyes left Kim's blues and fixed on Kerry's greens. From somewhere, from a small, dark spot inside her aching soul, the young student found a thread of a voice.

"Why..?"

Whatever Kerry answered in explanation or defense was lost to the brunette. She would remember later that she could hear a muffled noise of mangled words but something inside her brain prevented her from making any sense of them. After a few moments Abigail decided she had had enough. She turned around to leave and felt Kerry's hand on her arm.

"Don't touch me…" -whispered the younger woman under her breath.

"But honey…" -insisted the older woman. Yanking her arm from Kerry's hold, Abby turned around and violently snapped, "Don't touch me Kerry!"

Finally free, Abby left the restaurant and walked onto the street, where she was welcomed by the bright sun.

Abby's eyes stared at the water. The salty breeze carried a vague aroma of coconut and seafood. She inhaled deeply as she watched the waves in their relenting albeit soft, pounding by the shore.

"Are you going to tell me what happened Abby?"

"Mom…I really don't want to talk about it…"

"Aaabbyyy…"

"Mom, I said I really don't want to talk about it…"

"Okay but you know, eventually, you will have to…"

Abby sighed and nodded at her mother's comment. Yes, she knew that at some point she would have to face reality.

"I'm going out to do some grocery shopping. You wanna come with me?"

Abby declined, silently. She really didn't even want to talk, much less move. Maggie leaned forward and kissed her daughter on the forehead; immediately after she left.

The young student sighed and turned to watch the water.

Kerry had not been able to sleep. Sitting in her bed by the phone, she had not been able to will herself to get some rest. At five in the morning the redhead had gotten out to bed realizing that staying in was a futile attempt. She took a shower, got dressed and left for the hospital.

By 10 o'clock that morning, after leaving a dozen or so of messages in her lover's cell phone, the mighty doctor had to realize the sad truth that wherever Abby was, she didn't want to be contacted. Standing by the window in her office, Kerry sighed deeply. Much too tired and distressed to really get any work done, she called Kim.

"And you haven't heard anything from her, at all..?

"No, I haven't…"

"Uh…I really don't know what to say Ker…I'm sorry…"

The redhead heard the way her ex-lover had called her but declined to make any comments about it. If she was honest to herself, that little endearment in Kim's choice of words felt strangely soothing. She closed her eyes and for a moment, she let herself remember that there had been a time in the past where Kim had been the one person Kerry could turn to for comfort and peace.

"Kerry…"

"Yes…" –whispered the redhead to the phone.

"I'm supposed to leave tonight…" –Kim paused, breathing deeply- "Do you want me to stay a bit longer?"

In the midst of her pain, Kerry managed a shy smile. She knew that Kim would say something like that at some point during the conversation. Buying some time, Kerry breathed in deeply, weighing the implications of her answer.

"Take me with you…" -answered the weary redhead.

"Okay…"

Abby placed the phone on the receiver and slumped again on the bed. Taking the remote she started flipping channels aimlessly.

At some point during the day she realized that she needed to at least call the hospital to arrange a leave of absence or a short break or some sort of arrangement. After talking to Neela who advised her about taking the unpaid leave, she had called her rotation's supervisor and had arranged for the time off.

She had also called Kerry. Knowing that she would probably find her in her office, Abby chose to call Kerry's cell fully aware that she would get the voice mail. Leaving a brief message saying she would not be coming back in the next few days, she also asked Kerry not to make any attempts to contact her.

And after that she had finally allowed herself to feel.

Maggie had been there to listen. She had suspected that this unannounced visit from her only daughter had been the result of some breakdown in her relationship with Kerry. Silently Maggie had listened, not really saying much.

Maggie had never been quite convinced about the relationship her daughter had decided to establish with the older woman. Despite of really liking Kerry as a person, she had never fully understood the choice her daughter had made. And it wasn't even the fact that it was a relationship with a woman that troubled Maggie. It was simply that she never quite understood how their personalities would match, how would they complement each other enough to make each other happy.

Sadly, perhaps she had been right.

At around 9:30 that evening, Kerry found herself boarding a JetBlue flight that would take her and Kim to San Francisco. Kim had asked Kerry to arrange for some days off at the hospital and to go home to pack. "I'll take care of the rest Ker…" had whispered the blonde, "It'll be okay… don't you worry about anything, okay..?"

Kerry had nodded and had done exactly what her ex-lover had requested of her. At some point though, she paused to check her cell phone messages and found Abby's message.

And for the first time in the last 24 hours, Kerry Weaver, sat down and cried.

(End of Chapter 21)