A/N: Thanks a lot for reviews. Today's ficlet is set just before series 2, just to help you place what's going on.

…*…

'More worryingly though, [Owen's] Tintin-phobia seems to have taken a turn for the worse.'- Captain Jack Harkness, The Torchwood Archives.

.

'All I'm saying, Owen, is that you could've told me.'

'No, Ianto, I couldn't've. It's not really the sort of the thing you go around telling people… And I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody else.'

'…'

'What, why're you looking at me like that?'

'It, uh, may be too late for me to be keeping this a secret.'

'Ianto!'

'I had to tell Gwen why exactly we failed to catch the blowfish.'

'Could you not have thought of a better reason?'

'And pass up on the chance to humiliate you?'

'Yes!'

'I'm sorry, Owen- well, not really- but if I'd told you in confidence that I had a fear of a fictional character, would you have kept it to yourself.'

'Of course.'

'Ha, liar. You'd be taking the piss out of me quicker than I could say 'Tintin'.'

'… Alright, yeah, no point in denying it. Sounds like the sort of thing you'd be scared of anyway, Teaboy. Harry Potter give you nightmares?'

'No, but you've clearly had some bad experiences with a Belgian boy Detective… Why are you scared of Tintin?'

'I'm not scared of him exactly, I just don't bloody like him.'

'You're telling me you're not scared? As soon as you saw him at that fancy dress party you were practically shitting yourself.'

'I thought I saw the blowfish.'

'Now I know you're lying because you're not scared of bipedal aquatic creatures. We've dealt with them before, like Weevils. Sure they make you wary, but you don't whip you gun out that fast on sight, particularly in a crowd of people dressed in fancy dress.'

'I'd rather admit to being frightened of the bloody blowfish than… y'know.'

'Can you even say the name, Owen?'

'Voldemort.'

'… You're so witty tonight, what with all the Harry Potter related cracks.'

'Thanks.'

'…'

'…'

'For a moment, I thought you were actually going to shoot the guy dressed as Tintin. Think he did too, and now I've got to Retcon the entire party.'

'Probably would've had to do that anyway, Ianto, there was a blowfish walking around in a slightly Victorian looking suit.'

'It was a fancy dress party. If you'd been paying attention instead of trying to kill innocent men dressed as comic characters you might have noticed that there were a number of weird costumes around.'

'Yeah, I swear a saw Barney the Dinosaur…'

'Did his child-friendly songs make your heart palpitate in fear?'

'Shut up, Ianto. I don't like Tintin, what of it?'

'It was actually quite a good costume, he even had a Snowy.'

'…'

'Was that a shudder I just saw?'

'Oh fine, for fucks sake, I'm scared of Tintin! And his little dog too!'

'…'

'Happy?'

'More… Satisfied.'

'You know what; I think it's time I shot you since you've already had your go at me, fair's fair and all.'

'You've got crap aim.'

'Says the guy who-,'

'I was aiming for your shoulder!'

'…'

'…'

'…'

'… Computers are picking something new up.'

'Space junk?'

'No… It's the blowfish, he's just nicked a sports car!'

'Ooh, and a nice one at that.'

'No time, he's heading down the Gabalfa flyover.'

'I'll drive, you call Gwen and Tosh, looks like we may need back-up.'