Before You Know It

by Mikki Warner

AU Story! In this universe Invader Zim really is just a TV show. This is the story of how Invader Zim came to be, through Zim's life. Starting with his birth and carries on with family drama and humor as well as tragedy and precious moments. Pairings: ZIMxTak, RedxOC, TennxPurple, plus more. Rated: K-M

21. Recovery

To an anonymous reviewer whom calls there self, FF. Yes, hello, hi. How are you? Are you good? Great. First of all, I want you to know this isn't a letter of hate, but rather a letter of opinion. Thank you for your review (I'll just get that out if the way first). You were in fact kind when you wrote it, however, I feel as though I must address something. A few things, actually. First of all, the Mpreg. I'm sorry if it makes you squeamish. (Quite frankly, I don't care.) But let us not forget our seahorse friends. Not only them but the pipefish and sea dragons too. Each of those species reproduce by male pregnancy. And let us not forget that it was Cosmo who was pregnant with Poof in one of the season finales of Fairly Odd Parents. In short, what I'm trying to say is, there WILL be more male pregnancies (as well as female). If you don't like it, go ahead and skip over it. I won't blame you. But you will be missing a lot.

Second, the swearing. Please, faithful reader, keep in mind that this fic is indeed rated T-M. You must expect some vulgar language and sketchy scenes. I'm sorry if you don't like it. It's okay that you don't. I completely understand. But, Hun, this is my story. This is how the characters express themselves. Swearing and crudeness is a fact of life. I know, it sucks, but that's the way the world is.

Third point. Sex in the story. Yes, I have an understanding that some of you may not like it. Some of you may like it. Like I said before, I'm neutral to it. And there isn't even a lot of sex in this story. Leslie and Red only did it twice in this story. (Well, more than twice, but I only wrote about it two times... So far.) People, sex is how we all got here (may not have been through male pregnancy, but still ;) Did you guys know that sex is a gift from God? Used to be treated as a gift for married couples? That's part of the reason why I write in a little erotica. The other reason is because that's what this fandom wants. Some of the more 'crazy' fangirls/boys feed off that smut. They love it. And it's all part of my business to give the readers what they want. Make sense? It should.

Fourth thing. I'm glad that this story reminds you of a diary, though it is not written as such. I write in this way so that I can capture the point of view of everyone in the story. It's also an effective way to show the time gone by without creating confusion. Also, this story is in fact, not a diary. I'm just saying.

Fifth. The majority of Irkens are Jewish or of Jewish variants. (My headcanon, I suppose.) Tak is some sort of Catholic I think, I dunno. The point is, I know you don't like it when ZIM and Tak are all laying all over each other getting a little carried away. But they love each other. So can you blame them for being a little naughty? I couldn't. ZIM isn't always a good little Messianic Jewish boy and Tak isn't always a perfect Anglican or Catholic girl. Besides, ZaTr fans eat that stuff up!

In a nutshell! Here's what I'm trying to say, my dear,

Please don't let what you'd call 'flaws' in my story put you down. Ignore those 'flaws' and carry on! Not everything in this story is entirely sick or vulgar. There's plenty of family fun, drama, and comedy in here too!

Thank you for your kind cooperation, anonymous reviewer! And I'm glad you spoke your opinion! If you have anymore complaints or comments to share with me, go ahead and shoot me another review. Or if you decide to be a little braver, maybe you can send a PM my way. Don't be shy! I know you're probably a user here that was just a bit nervous to speak up. And that's fine! I understand!

Anyway . . . Yeah, guys. Let's see what became of last chapter's ordeal.

---

I'm floating. Why am I floating? . . . And it's warm. Pleasantly warm. That's weird. I wasn't warm just a . . . Wait. How long has it been since I fell asleep?

ZIM looked around and saw nothing. He reached out and felt nothing. He was in a void of naught. A black abyss with no end. He found himself unable to move his legs.

What dream is this? I feel so peaceful. I don't feel any discomfort. At all . . .

It was then ZIM realized he was holding his breath. He exhaled but didn't feel it was necessary. So he continued to not breathe.

Where am I?

He was blinded by a light from above. He squinted and looked up. The light gave him a calm sensation that coursed through every fiber of his being. ZIM saw a silhouette descending from the light. When the figure got closer he did not see it's face, a light engulfed it. But it was wearing robes, he knew that. A pure white robe with a blue sash wrapped it's body. A serene, sweet and feminine voice spoke to him. A voice that reminded ZIM of his sister's.

"It's not yet your time, my child."

ZIM's eyes widened. The next thing he knew, he was falling. He tried to scream but found no breath. And then, he hit reality.

...

"Get the AED! Someone call EMS!" A stage hand shouted orders. "He needs a shock! Get the fucking AED!" Dib couldn't believe it. What was going on? ZIM wasn't breathing and he had no pulse. Was he dead?

"Let's get Red! He used to be a lifeguard!" Timmy shouted. Dib nodded running out of the café with him. They met Red and Purple in the lounge just outside the cafeteria. "Red! Your brother is dead!" Timmy shouted, hysterically. Red tilted his head. Dib growled and smacked the brown-haired boy hard.

"Zeiden needs your help." Dib said as calmly as possible. He was scared, but he mustn't opt to panic.

"What's wrong?" Red questioned, not fully understanding why he was needed.

"Your little brother, you know, Zeiden? He just went into cardiac arrest!" Dib shouted. Red was shocked.

"Where is he?" The Irken stood up. Purple stood beside him as Dib hurriedly brought them back to ZIM. Red pushed the people gathering around to get to ZIM. Purple followed suit. Red fell to his knees next to ZIM. "Where is the AED?" Red yelled. He leaned over ZIM and nearly ripped the shirt off his little brother, exposing his bare chest to the public. Red immediately started to do fifteen compressions on ZIM's chest.

"Someone is getting it." A man reported.

"What is happening?" A few people in the startled crowd asked. No one had an answer. This was a highly unusual case the small Irken had. Even for ZIM.

"Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen." Red bent down and tilted ZIM's head back, opening his mouth just a enough. Red pressed his own mouth over the young one's and gave him two ventilations. He then went back to fifteen more compressions. "It shouldn't take this fucking long to get me the AED!" Red was panicking and furious. Someone finally rushed to him with the pack. Red let out a shaky breath opening the AED and taking out the pads. He pressed one pad over ZIM's right side of his chest the other went on ZIM's left side over his ribs. "Stand clear! Analyzing." Red ordered. Toons and humans backed off watching in wonder as Red professionally worked on his brother. A flashing red light blinked on a button on the AED. Red bit his lip allowing a tear to escape from his eye. "I'm sorry, bud." Red whispered. "Preparing to shock." He then pressed the button. A sudden jolt of electricity coursed through ZIM's small body. The boy's frame jumped a bit from the shock. Purple then took over to continue CPR. He gave the compressions and the ventilations over and over again. "Preparing to deliver another shock." Red warned. He pressed the button again. ZIM's body jumped from the shock. Purple gave the compressions once more. He was about to lower himself to do the rescue breathing when ZIM arched his back and gasped for air wildly, thrashing slightly.

"Mom . . ." He heaved, breathlessly.

"Zeiden! Thank God!" Red threw his arms around ZIM. The spectators all sighed with relief. "Fuckin' EMS is late! Where are they?" Red pushed ZIM back down to lay. He was still gasping for air. Purple dug through ZIM's pants pocket and pulled out his inhaler. He put the thing in ZIM's mouth and told him to inhale. ZIM coughed again. A droplet of sweat fell from his forehead. And then, he started to cry.

Later

ZIM warily eyed the I.V. stuck in his arm. He hated needles! He hated them so much! Zee stuck him with it. She felt that ZIM would be more comfortable being home than at the hospital, so after spending three hours in the E.R. to ensure his stability, they released him. The Irken boy let out a long aggravated breath. He really wanted to blow off some steam. Why was his body so . . . defective?

There it was. The 'D' word no Irken wanted to be called. And he just mentally called himself that. But it was true. His body was, in a way, physically useless it seemed. ZIM heard the door to his room open. Dib's head poked in.

"Zeiden?" Dib entered his room. ZIM looked at his close friend. Dib stood in his spot just staring at the Irken. Suddenly Dib pouted and ran to ZIM. He wrapped his friend up in a tight hug. "You scared me! You scared me so much I was actually praying! I'm not religious but I knew you are and it seems to help for you and . . . I'm just so glad you're okay." Dib finished. ZIM hugged back with only one arm that was not stuck with the I.V. "What happened?"

"A severe asthma attack. I was ignoring my early symptoms and was dumb enough to not tell anyone." ZIM said. He looked at his lap. Dib nodded. He reached into his pants pocket and pulled something out and gave it to ZIM.

"Here." ZIM took the object from Dib. It was a 'Get Well Soon' card. He opened it. He was surprised to see that practically everyone from the studio had signed it. How they managed to get all their names on that small card was beyond him.

"Tell them thank you, Dill." ZIM said. "And that I'll be seeing them tomorrow." Dib nodded.

"Can I ask you a question?" ZIM gave Dib a curt nod. "Why did you let Chester and Timmy say those things about you?"

"I let immature things like that go. It doesn't bother me as much as it should." ZIM said.

"What's it like?"

"What's what like? Getting insulted?" ZIM asked.

"What's it like to have those seizures and attacks? They're scary to me so I'm assuming they're terrifying to you." Dib said. ZIM said nothing for awhile. Just contemplating on his answer.

"It is. It starts with the feeling of impending death, I feel cold, I start to sweat, I get a metallic taste in my mouth." ZIM said. "During the seizure . . . I feel hopeless. Everyone else feels hopeless too because they can't do anything. They have to let the seizure take it's course." ZIM shuddered remembering all his previous seizures. "This time . . . this time was weird. I had a dream. I had like . . . an out of body experience."

"ZIM, you went into cardiac arrest. You probably did have an out of body experience." ZIM bowed his head. Dib sighed. ZIM was silent again.

"It's hard to breath. I can't control my shaking . . . You have a right to be scared when something like that happens to someone. It's petrifying." Dib put a comforting hand on ZIM's shoulder. His friend looked close to tears. For the first time ever Dib could see something in ZIM's eyes he's never seen before. Weakness, sorrow, and grief. Dib figured it would probably be best if he left the Irken alone for the time being.

"I have to get going. My dad is waiting for me." Dib said. "I think your sister needs to take that empty I.V. out too." Dib gave ZIM one last hug then left the room.

"Thanks, Dillon." The human boy just smiled back. As soon as he left ZIM's siblings came into the room. Zee removed the needle from ZIM's arm. Red picked the boy up and set him on his lap. "Guys . . . I'm sick of it." ZIM said. Red frowned.

"Sick of what?" ZIM finally lost it. All the stress, pain, hurt, and anxiety that built up inside him. He let it all go. He balled, pressing his face in Red's shoulder. The older Irken looked down at him with compassion, rubbing the boy's back reassuringly.

"Everything! The constant medications! I'm always on drugs! The constant rehab! My hypotension! My epilepsy! My asthma! My ADD! My allergies! My idiocy! I can't take it anymore!" ZIM took in a sharp breath, looking at his brother and sisters. "I'm a hinderance to you guys and the people around me! I've been nothing but a curse since the day I got here and-and . . . I'm a fucking defect!" His sisters' eyes went wide. Red scowled.

"That is enough!" Red snapped. He grabbed ZIM's chin and forced him to look at him in the eye. "Don't you call yourself that ever again!"

"You guys don't know what it's like. You don't have my medical conditions! You don't know!" ZIM cried. "You guys don't know . . ."

"We may not know what it's like to have what you have, ZIM, but that does not mean it doesn't hurt us to see you like this." Tenn said.

"I'm tired if it. I hate living this way. My diet and meds and all the precautions I have to take! It's just too much." ZIM whined. "Trust me, I'd be better off dead."

"Don't you say crazy shit like that." Red growled. ZIM pushed away from him and stood in front of his brother and sisters getting angrier by the second.

"You guys don't understand! I can't take it anymore! I need relief from this fuckin' hell! I don't need someone or something else to kill me! I can do it myself!" ZIM shouted.

"ZIM, you are not suicidal!" Zee said.

"You wanna bet? I'll fuckin' take my life tonight! You don't think I have it in me? It's easy! All I need is a rope!" ZIM wailed. "I'll do it! I'll do it without hesitation!"

"Zeiden, knock it off! Your life isn't all that bad!" Red tried talking sense into ZIM. No such luck. ZIM was having a mental breakdown and was inconsolable.

"Easy for you to say! You're not defective like your little brother! I shouldn't even be alive!" Red knelt by his brother and grabbed ZIM's wrists and forced the boy closer to him. Red glared into ZIM's eyes.

"If you weren't supposed to be alive don't you think Yahweh would've taken your life already? You have a purpose, ZIM. Everyone has a purpose." Red hissed. Tears streamed down ZIM's face.

"Don't you get it?" ZIM asked, shaking his head. "Earlier today Yahweh was taking me." The words haunted Red. Zeiden wasn't exactly the smartest kid but he was wise. He always knew what to say as a retort or comeback to anything anyone says.

"But I saved you. He obviously wanted me to save you."

"How can you know? You can't! You foiled his plan. I was supposed to die today! You fuckin' idiot! I was supposed to die!" ZIM screeched trying to pull away from the vice-like grip. Red winced at the bellows of ZIM. "He was about to take all my pain away! He was about to give me a new perfect life and you stopped him! I needed to die!" ZIM crossed the line. He was simply out of his mind now. And in desperate times, desperate measures are indeed called for. Red regretfully pulled back a clenched fist and slammed it into the younger's temple. ZIM's head snapped back. Red caught him as the little one sunk to the ground, only half conscious in a wild daze. Tenn and Zee gasped from behind him.

"Red!"

"It needed to be done!" He shouted. "You heard him! Don't tell me he wasn't going crazy! It was for his own good!" Red's hands were shaking out of control at what he just did. "Forgive me, Zei-Zei." The younger Irken moaned. Tenn came to ZIM's side and picked him up and rested him on his bed. "We can't let our guard down." Red said. "In his current mental state, he very well may try to kill himself. He may not be alone." ZIM whined, coming to.

"Y-you punched me."

That Night

Defect, defect, defect.

ZIM lay awake. That word rang in his antenna. Defect. He was a defect. A good for nothing defect! Defects don't deserve to live! They're a menace! They're troublesome!

ZIM was trapped between his brother and sister-in-law. If he tried to crawl out, he'd wake them up. Well, maybe Red would stay asleep. He hasn't been getting much rest lately. Leslie, on the other hand, was a light sleeper. They didn't trust him sleeping alone. They thought that ZIM deserved to live. ZIM almost laughed out loud.

"Idiots." He whispered to himself. "They don't understand."

The pressure was eating away at ZIM. Earlier that day when ZIM was in cardiac arrest, he discovered that he must die. He was bothersome. The last thing his siblings needed was a bothersome boy to ruin their lives. Their perfect, healthy lives. All the bad decisions he's made in the past, all the episodes he endured, everything stupid he's said and done. It all came flooding back to him.

"I'm a defect."

How dare they deny that. How dare they.

April 14, 2001

"Good morning, Nickelodeon Studios. I'm Zeiden Macale bringing you you're morning announcements." ZIM said, less than enthusiastic. It wasn't like him. He was always so cheery. Spongebob listened to ZIM make the morning call. He was concerned. ZIM was known for being constantly ecstatic. Of course, Spongebob was a witness to what happened the day before. It was a scary time. "Unfortunately, I'm alive and well from yesterday's incident. Sorry about that. Someone insisted on saving my life." Spongebob narrowed his eyes at the boy.

"Zeiden." He warned.

"The Nicktoons mock elections are coming up on June five. Go to the front office to pick up the mock votes and fill it out before June one." ZIM sighed flipping through the notes. "Here's on today's menu; they're serving Italian food and the salad bar will be open. Maybe I'll get lucky and I'll choke on lettuce or something-" The yellow sponge ripped the phone away from ZIM.

"Sorry about that folks! Uhh . . . We will not be having any announcements for this morning. That is all." Spongebob hung up the phone and glared at ZIM. "What gives?"

"What? I just don't want to live anymore, that's all." ZIM shrugged. Spongebob couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could the Irken be so nonchalant about something so serious?

"No wonder your brother wanted me to keep a close eye on you. Your talking crazy!"

"I'm not crazy! If I am then that'll just be another one on my list of conditions I have and then I'll definitely kill myself."

"ZIM . . . Your brother told me what went on yesterday between you and him. Let me tell you something, your life is worth more than you think. You mean a lot to people. They don't care if you have problems-"

"Well I do! I hate not being able to breath! I hate not being able to be alone! To eat whatever I want! To do what I want! No one understands me!"

"Because you've gone mad." Spongebob said, soothingly. "Zeiden, you're not staying here today. I won't allow it. You need rehabilitation and you're not gonna get it here."

"You can't tell me what to do. I have a show to film." ZIM was about to leave when Spongebob grabbed his arm. "Let me go!" ZIM demanded.

"Absolutely not. I'm bringing you home. You've snapped." Spongebob said. ZIM grunted trying to pry away from the man that was only a foot taller.

"Come on! Let me go!" ZIM was able to rip his wrist away from his friend. The Irken then bolted the other way. Spongebob sighed, following him but not running. As soon as he turned the corner Spongebob saw a supply closet door slam shut.

"Zeiden, this is ridiculous. Come out now." Spongebob begged. He tried the door knob but found that ZIM had locked it. "Ugh, ya know, I'm pretty tight with the custodians here. They'll give me a key."

"Robert?" Came the muffled voice from behind the door.

"Yeah, bud?"

"I'm not your concern."

"Oh but you are. Trust me." Spongebob said. "I told your brother I'd watch you today . . . What are you doing in there, ZIM?"

"Waiting till you leave . . ." The sponge sighed.

"I've dealt with many stubborn kids in my past but you, you're by far the most persistent. But I can out wait you." Spongebob heard a groan come from the other side of the door, followed by shuffling. ZIM cracked open the door to peak at his adult friend.

"You don't know me." ZIM hissed. "No one gets me. What I have to suffer through. I take eight different medications everyday for different things. I have to eat gross food at a certain time. I'm not allowed to be alone, ever. I have to go through five tests just to play one sport. I'm a broken body. I'm small, weak, and without my meds I'd have been dead a long time ago."

"You're just a sickly child, Zeiden. You're not worthless." Spongebob reached a hand through the door and grabbed the front of ZIM's shirt and pulled him out from behind the door. "Come on. I'll bring you home."

"Why are you defying me? I'd think I'd know about myself better than you."

"I know, ZIM. But . . . Hold on. Let me show you something." Spongebob brought ZIM to the cafeteria where a few workers and stars were having breakfast. Spongebob stopped in one of the door ways with ZIM. They stood there for a second until someone noticed them.

"Hey! Zeiden!" It was Reggie Rocket.

"We missed you, dude!" That time it was that Arnold kid from his show.

"You scared us all!" A member from ZIM's show exclaimed. Quite a few people came up to greet him.

"You see? You may have more medical problems than all these guys combined but they still love you. You mean a lot to these guys, Zeiden. I know it's hard but you need to pull through." ZIM didn't know what to think.

On one hand he was just flat out tired of all his problems. On the other, he knew his friends would help him through it. He was torn.

"We got you something, ZIM." A few more Nicktoons gathered around him. Eliza was speaking to him. He looked up at her the the people surrounding him. Eliza nodded to Otto Rocket. He pulled something from behind his back. It was a full-faced dirt bike helmet. ZIM cocked a brow.

"Umm . . . I have like five of those." ZIM said.

"It's not so much to helmet as it is the symbolism of the helmet." Otto said.

". . . What?"

"We realize that you faint a lot and well . . . We don't always catch you all the time. This is kind of our way of saying, 'Be careful'." Arnold stated. ZIM went quiet as the other kids anxiously waited for his response. The Irken gave them a small smile.

"Thanks you guys." ZIM looked at the helmet. "Here." He handed the helmet back to Otto.

"It's for you, Zeiden. Please. You need it. It only costed us a few bucks each to get it." Otto insisted.

"Well at least now I won't get a concussion from riding my dirt bike any time soon." ZIM tucked the helmet under his arm.

"Lets get you home, Zimmy. I can still tell you're a bit stressed." Spongebob put a hand on ZIM's back and led him to his car. ZIM took the passengers seat and sat quietly. "You just need to take a few days off. You have way too many things going on. You have any school work you need to catch up on?" ZIM nodded.

"I'm failing all my classes." ZIM muttered.

"Like actually failing or just not doing well?"

"I have an F in trigonometry. An F in geophysics. I have an C in world history and C plus in linguistics . . . and an A in acoustics."

"See? Those are all your core classes and you're not failing all of them."

"I compared my grades to my friends'. They all seem to be straight A students."

"Well . . . With someone like you, ZIM, you don't need brains. You have talent. Lots of it." Spongebob said.

"I'm going to drop out of school." ZIM muttered.

"Your brother would never allow that."

"I don't care what he says." ZIM said. The rest of the ride was quiet. Spongebob finally pulled into ZIM's driveway when sudden realization hit him. "I didn't know you had your license." Spongebob chuckled.

"A lot of people didn't know. I've gotten it when I turned nineteen. The running gag that my character is a terrible driver in the show was based off me in real life. I failed my drivers test five times. Failed my written eight times." Spongebob looked at his steering wheel. "How about you?"

"Passed when I was ten. First try. My family has always been good with any kind of motorized vehicle." ZIM said. "The only problem when I took my test that could of failed me was my height. Couldn't see over the steering wheel." Spongebob smiled.

"Well if that's the only problem, I'd think you're in good condition."

"Huh. That's an overstatement." ZIM muttered. Spongebob's smile disappeared.

"You get some rest. Get your mind off things." ZIM nodded exiting the car. "I'll see you around, Zeiden." ZIM didn't say anything. He closed the door and walked into his beach house without a second glance. ZIM wasn't shocked to see that Red and Leslie were home.

"Hey. You left Gaz at the studio?" Red asked.

"Yeah. She's fine." ZIM mumbled. Leslie and Red shared a look. The Irken man then looked at the table. "ZIM, we should talk."

"What's to talk about?"

"About . . . you and the things you've been saying. They scare me. And I want to be ensured you're fine." Red said.

"Well I am fine so stop worrying. For once in my life just . . . stop." ZIM wouldn't make eye contact. His gaze was glued to the kitchen's hardwood floor.

"Sit."

"I have things to do and a song to look over-"

"Sit!" ZIM glared at Red. He had a stern look on his face.

"You hit me."

"I had to. You were speaking way out of line. It was necessary."

"When is child abuse necessary?" ZIM questioned, his features dark.

"What I did was called, 'sedation', and trust me, it was very necessary. Now I'm going to tell you once more, sit."

"Or what?" ZIM asked, pushing his luck. When he saw Red raise from his chair a bit ZIM took a seat across from him. Red relaxed once more.

"Your niece is going to have spina bifida occulta and a few mental disabilities." Red started. ZIM perked his antenna a bit.

"Refresh me on what that is."

"Zeiden, she may never walk like you do." Leslie cut in. "You can walk without canes or a wheelchair." ZIM lowered his antenna. He knew where this was going. "She'll never be able to play baseball. She won't be able to kick a soccer ball. She won't be able to run, jump and play like you can. She'll have to get everywhere via wheelchair or slowly waddling. That is if she even makes it to the age where she could walk."

"You have a lot of medical conditions, ZIM. But you'll always be able to do something she can't." Red said. ZIM pouted, feeling like a jerk all of a sudden. "You're more blessed than you think." ZIM closed his eyes, bowing his head.

"I'm sorry." ZIM whispered. "I . . . I need to go."

"Whatever you think you have to do, forget it. You're not to be alone." Red said. ZIM frowned.

"Don't you trust me?" Red gave his brother a hard look.

"After what you said yesterday. No. I don't trust you by yourself." Red said. ZIM groaned, rubbing his arm. "C'mere." ZIM stood from his chair and approached Red.

"What?" The boy asked. Red pulled ZIM into his lap.

"I have a question for you."

"Okay." ZIM said. Red looked to Leslie. She smiled.

"Would you like to be in the delivery room when she is born?" ZIM went quiet. Deep in thought.

"Is Purple?"

"He doesn't know yet."

"Well then, add me to that waiting list. I have to think about it." Red nodded, kissing ZIM's head.

"You look tired, Zei. So am I." Red said. Leslie rose up from her chair, picking ZIM up and giving him a tight squeeze.

"Why don't you two get some rest then? Supper will be ready when you wake up."

April 17, 2001

ZIM yawned looking out the window of first class to the clouds. He was flying across the country to New York. He'd gotten a few days off from the studio for the drafting into the New York Bronx little league baseball team. He'd only stay there for two days then he'd have to go back to L.A. He looked to Purple beside him.

"What state did they say we were flying over?" ZIM asked. He was still in a sour mood from the incident that happened awhile ago, but he was slowly recovering from his mental breakdown. Purple was busy typing things into his laptop.

"We just crossed the boarder from Ohio. We're in Pennsylvania now. We'll be in New York shortly." Purple said, not really paying attention. "You excited? Today will be the day you sign that contract if you think you're really committed."

"I need to get a physical exam first." ZIM said. "Tomorrow we're having a team meeting . . . and yes, I'm excited."

"Do you think you'll like New York?" Purple asked.

"I don't know. In L.A. they have chicks in bikinis and short-shorts. Who knows what they have in N.Y.C." Purple rolled his eyes.

"ZIM, you have a girlfriend. You shouldn't be looking at other women."

"Tak's not here now. What she doesn't know, won't hurt her." ZIM said. "Besides, who was it that was hitting on the flight attendant just a minute ago?"

"I wasn't hitting on her!" ZIM crossed his arms then started to mock him.

"Hey good lookin'. How are you this fine afternoon?" ZIM repeated what his OBFAM said earlier. "You're an engaged man! You're such a hypocrite." Purple scoffed.

"Whatever. You know I'm a ladies man." ZIM snorted at his comment.

"Riiight." ZIM drawled.

"Attention passengers, we will be landing at LaGaurdia Airport in an hour." One of the attendants said over the intercom. ZIM leaned back in his chair. An hour didn't seem too long now that he's been sitting on the jet for nearly the whole day. ZIM relaxed his jaw and closed his eyes . . .

"ZIM, wake up. We're here." ZIM cracked open an eye and saw Purple hovering over him. The plane has landed and the passengers were starting to file out. ZIM shook the sleepiness out and stood up trudging out of the aircraft. They went into the airport to retrieve their luggage then to search for their ride. They hired a chauffeur to bring them to places since they didn't know the city too well. "Look for a man in a suit holding a Kinley sign."

"Why is a cab driver well dressed?" ZIM asked.

"Who said we're taking a cab?" Purple smirked finally finding the man. He was wearing a pressed, dry-cleaned suit and he was leaning up against silver A1 Luxury Limousine. ZIM scowled.

"We better have more passengers in there than just us." ZIM growled. Purple chuckled.

"It's just us. If you're gonna visit the fabulous New York city, you must travel in style." Purple walked to the man and shook his hand. ZIM rolled his eyes. He didn't want to look like some sort of celebrity . . . even though he was one. It didn't matter. He just hoped the other boys at the baseball meeting don't see him roll up in the Hummer-like stretch limo.

Meanwhile

Red threw down the paper ZIM received in the mail in disgust. "Sick humans! How dare they write something like that!" Leslie peaked over Red's shoulder.

"What is it? Don't you get weird fan mail all the time?"

"Yes but this is one of ZIM's first fan mails sent in by a human." Red grumbled, shaking slightly. "This fifteen year old girl wrote a short story about ZIM and thought he'd might like to read it." Leslie picked up the paper Red threw down.

"Let me see it." Leslie skimmed through the typed words. Her eyes narrowing. She scowled deeply. "What the hell? Does this girl think ZIM getting raped is sexy? How horrifying!"

"I swear to God if he gets another story about him getting raped in the mail I'm going to take our family and leave earth and never come back. The human race is twisted and disgusting."

"Hey, I resent that comment." Leslie snapped.

"Not all humans . . . Just a few."

"I have a feeling this story is just gonna be the beginning of many, however. I just hope the stories don't come to life. He's gotten fan mail before where girls and guys claim they want to get intimate with ZIM. It makes me paranoid and angry." Red said.

"They just . . . I dunno. They just find him attractive, I guess. Maybe Dib got a few inappropriate fan mail already too."

"The show just begun." Red hissed. "I'm sure there's gonna be lots more of mail like this."

"Just don't worry about it now, Hun. You have enough things on your mind." Leslie kissed his temple running a hand over his big, rounded belly. "Who knows. These people are probably so jacked up in the head that they think rape is okay but male pregnancy is just wrong." Red frowned.

"But . . . Male pregnancy is a fact of Irken life."

"I know it is, sweetie." Leslie kissed him again. "Just be calm, alright? I can't have you on edge."

"I just can't trust anyone in this world, can I?" Red asked. Leslie shook her head. "And ZIM is in New York right now. Full of strange, murderous, filthy humans. And rapists and pedophiles and-"

"Peder will kick anyone's sorry ass, that dares touch ZIM. He is stronger than you after all, and you're pretty strong so that's saying a lot."

"He is not stronger than me!" Red defended himself.

"Honey, he whooped your ass in wrestling more than five times." Leslie pointed out.

"Well . . . I demand a re-match . . . as soon as I have the smeet. Then you'll see who's stronger!"

"I'm leaning heavily towards Purple." Leslie said, smugly. She grinned when she saw her husband start to get irritated. "It's fine, Red. He's stronger, you have more flexibility."

"Meh." Red grunted. He started to rub his inner thighs. "My God, I'm so sore."

"Just one more month, babe." Leslie said. Red sucked in some air through his mouth then moaned.

"I need new maternity clothes. Will you go to Irk for me and get some? Last time I went there I had several people ask if they could feel my stomach. It was kind of creepy."

"Nah. How about for the next month you just wear oversized T-shirts?"

"They don't flatter my shapely body."

"Red, you're pregnant." Leslie said.

"Fine. I'll go shirtless. They don't really require that out in public just so you know." Red groaned. "Shit, man. Contractions."

"They hurt?"

"They're starting to intensify, that's for damn sure." Red grunted. Leslie walked behind his chair and rubbed his shoulders.

"What do you think about C-section?"

"No." Red said, simply. "That's not happening. I don't want to get cut open."

"Red, our daughter has spina bifida. It's encouraged that you have a C-section done." Leslie pointed out.

"I'd rather have the episiotomy done." Red shuddered. "Actually . . . I don't want any of it done. I don't want this child."

"Well you're gonna have to suck it up."

"Les, this child wasn't planned!"

"I know she wasn't. But here she is." Leslie moved her hand down to his stomach. "In your tummy." Leslie pressed her lips to his abdomen.

"Hey, my lips are up here." Red said. Leslie chuckled, raising her head and kissing her husband. He pulled the woman onto his lap, forcing her to straddle his wide hips. Leslie cupped his face with her hands. Red smiled through the kiss, wrapping his arms around her. He snuck one hand up her shirt and snaked it's way to her breasts.

"Red, no." Leslie said, pulling away. "You're gonna get horny and I'm going to decline and you're gonna be whiny for the rest of the day."

"But . . . We haven't done it in months!" Red complained. Leslie sighed.

"See? I told you you'd be whiny."

"I'm noooot."

"Every time you talk, Red, you keep contradicting yourself." Leslie sighed. "Let's just . . . take this to the bedroom." She caved. Red's eyes lit up.

"Really?" He asked, hopefully.

"Yes." Leslie grunted. Red nearly shook with happiness. He stood up and led her to their room.

"Let's go!"

April 18, 2001

"Gentlemen, after a long night of discussion, the coaches and I finally found out your starting positions. If you don't like the results, keep it to yourself. We observed you boys yesterday and we believe what we picked out is for the best." The head coach, Jonathan, had said. ZIM leaned back in his chair by the conference table his teammates were surrounding. The Irken glanced at all the boys. There was thirteen in all. A small team, but very elite. "I have also prepared the batting line up for the first game. The line up is based off of the MLB's lineup, so our first batter would be the fastest base runner. Jacob, you're the first as well as the center outfielder."

"Yes, Coach." The preppy boy said. ZIM rolled his eyes. Most of the boys on the team were kiss up, city slickers always trying to impress everyone.

"The second batter is the best bunter. Quay, you'll be batting second and your position is first." The coach looked at his list on a clipboard. "The third in the line up is the best overall hitter and base runner. I gave that spot to Zeiden. Zeiden you are starting catcher, back up pitcher." ZIM cocked a brow at being the primary catcher but decided to go with it. Catchers were normally small in stature. At least the other boys knew who the best batter was by far. ZIM tuned out for the rest of what the coach said. He knew that the fourth batter is the power hitter and that the fifth is the second best power hitter. Then the batters six through nine were the ones who could definitely improve their hitting skills. "Zeiden." ZIM snapped out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" He asked. All the boys were staring at him. Coach Jonathan was probably calling him for awhile.

"May I talk to you in private?" ZIM nodded. "Good, Coach Jeff will take over the meeting boys. I'm gonna talk to ZIM here." The head coach escorted ZIM out of the conference room and into a small office next door to it. He sat ZIM down on a chair in front of a desk then he himself took a seat in an office chair behind the desk.

"What's up Coach?" ZIM asked. The man was smiling from ear to ear. "Uhh . . ."

"I want you to be team captain." The coach said quickly. "This level of little league baseball usually has a team captain. You stick out, you're a good player, and you have pep and spunk."

"Thank you?" ZIM said, not really knowing what else to say.

"Will you take the spot?"

"As team captain?"

"Yes."

"Er, won't the other boys get jealous? I mean, I'm pretty short compared to them and I don't want to get beaten up for just being higher ranked than them."

"If anyone even threatens you, I'll kick them off the team. Send them home and replace them." Coach Jonathan said. "What do you say?"

"Well . . ." ZIM thought for a moment. "What types of liabilities do I have and what's my level of authority?"

"It's good to have a peer as a team leader. It teaches kids to work better together."

"I'm the leader?" ZIM asked.

"Yes. You'd be the organizer, you enforce positive thinking, you step up when needed, you recognize skills and abilities of your teammates. Team captain isn't a chore, it's an honor. Keep peace between teammates, and mentor them when they need it."

"And my authority?"

"We have three coaches. The head coach, the fielding coach, and the batting coach. You'd be below the coaches but above the teammates. So what do you say?"

"Uhh . . . Alright. I'll give it a try. I feel as if I must warn you however that I'm not really in the best of moods lately." The coach shrugged it off.

"I heard about your near death experience earlier this week." He said. "I'd love for you to recoup before anything else, take as much time as you need, Zeiden. Your wellbeing is more important than team captain." ZIM bowed his head, feeling awful for being so down on everything lately.

"Okay."

"Good. Don't let this team captain position get to your head, though. I can easily remove you from power." Coach Jonathan said. ZIM nodded.

"I'll treat it well." ZIM forced a smile at the man.

"Good. I believe that's all for now. I understand that you are currently living in Perth, Australia-"

"I'm actually temporarily residing in L.A. for my show."

"Still, either way it's thousands of miles away and the conditioning and practice is here in New York. I know you're busy so I'm gonna let you go back to L.A. while the rest of the boys stay here for practice. I'm gonna send you back to Los Angeles with a personal trainer so you can get your practice hours in. The first game is in two weeks. It's an away game held on neutral ground. Ironically, it's in Los Angeles." ZIM nodded again.

"Who are we playing?" ZIM asked.

"Wyoming."

"Oh . . . Red will love that." ZIM snickered. "Okay, so who's my trainer?" The head coach smirked.

"I'm sure you're familiar with her."

"Her?" ZIM questioned. He could feel his heart beat accelerate. ZIM had a funny feeling he already knew who, 'her' was. "Her who?"

"Samantha Coi."

April 20, 2001

"I can't believe what you guys were saying about him . . . When he was sitting right next to you!"

"Hey! We feel bad enough as it is about it! You don't need to make it worse, Brainiac!" The four boys sat in Timmy's dressing room all discussing what happened to their extraterrestrial friend just days ago. Timmy sighed. "I'll admit, I was being a jerk. I shouldn't have made fun of him. I had no idea in doing that it would've caused his blood pressure to rise dramatically." Dib looked at the carpet in the room.

"ZIM's brother told me that . . . he's been having suicidal thoughts. It scares me guys. That's why ZIM hasn't been here, lately."

"I thought it was because he was in New York." Chester said.

"Well that, and the fact that ZIM may need to go to rehab. Possibly even a mental hospital!"

"A psycho ward? For real? That's a bit much, isn't it?" Timmy asked.

"A bit much? It's a bit much for sending someone to the crazy house for wanting to kill themselves? Correct me if I'm wrong but I think that it may be necessary. If ZIM is at the ward, there's no way he can hurt himself there." Dib said. "Red wants us to come over later today for some group therapy. He's hoping ZIM seeing his friends will make him feel better." Timmy bit his lip.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. I mean . . . I was being awful to him that day. I don't think ZIM will even want to see me."

"ZIM is too forgiving, Tim. In fact, I don't even think he was mad in the first place." A.J. said.

"A.J.'s right. I talked to him a few hours after he'd left the hospital. He wasn't mad. Just upset at himself. He wants to be able to live a healthy life but he can't." Dib said. "I often envy him for the things he does. It's weird because he doesn't seem to know why people envy him. All because of his illnesses."

"Well . . . How are we getting to him? We can't exactly walk thirty minutes away to Santa Monica." Chester asked.

"Tak and Gaz are here. Tak is bringing us." Dib said. "Guys, we have to be as supportive as possible. No jokes, no puns. No anything that'd make ZIM feel worse about himself than he already does. We're trying to save his life here." The boys stayed silent for some time. Eventually Dib spoke up once more. "A few days ago, once I left ZIM's house, Red told me he snapped and went berserk with self hatred and anger. And then just this morning when ZIM got home from N.Y. he had another mental breakdown. I don't know how long it'll take for ZIM to start feeling better. It's up to us to help in any way possible. He is our friend after all."

"Dib is right. Let's all be mature for once, huh?" A.J. said. The boys nodded in agreement.

"We'll meet Tak and Gaz in the west lounge at four. Be prepared. I don't know how emotional this will get." Dib warned. "And it very well could get ugly too."

Later

ZIM shook his head at what he was watching on his room's T.V. The Irken media was going ballistic over ZIM's near death experience. Every Irken news channel he changed to, late night talk shows, and even a few stand up comedians were all covering ZIM's accident just days earlier. He could do nothing but sulk as one after another reporter talked about how ZIM was technically 'dead' for half a minute. Everyone on Irk knew he was a defect. His body didn't work the way it should have.

ZIM's grip on the remote tightened when he changed to a comedian talking about ZIM's incident and exaggerating the story to make it more 'funny'. "Fuckin' asshole." ZIM muttered to himself. Did no one know that ZIM was hurting? That he wanted relief? No. They obviously didn't. ZIM heard the door to his room open.

"Zeiden,"

"I want to be alone, Red."

"Well, I'm sorry to say this but, you won't be able to be alone for the next hour or so." Red walked in and snatched the remote from ZIM and turned off the T.V. "I told you not to watch the news." His older brother said, sternly. Red grabbed ZIM's hand and pulled him off his bed. ZIM yanked his hand away. Red sighed. "Zeiden . . . I don't want to worry about you more than I already have to. Please, come down to the den and let's talk. All your friends are here and-"

"Who?" Red gazed down at the stubborn child.

"Dib, A.J., Chester, Timmy, a few others." ZIM's head snapped up.

"They're not my friends!" ZIM snapped. "If they were they'd never of had made fun of my disabilities! They probably would have danced over my grave if you'd of let me die that day!" ZIM ran a hand over his antenna, smoothing it over his head in frustration. "Timmy makes fun, Chester laughs along with him, and Dib and A.J. do nothing but ignore it! If I killed myself right now they wouldn't care! Timmy and Chester would just continue to joke and laugh!" ZIM started to hyperventilate. Red took ZIM's inhaler off his dresser and handed it to the boy. ZIM shook his head. "I'm . . . not using . . . that damn thing." ZIM gasped. Red's brow furrowed. He forcefully pushed the end into ZIM's mouth and pressed the button to spray the medicine in. ZIM coughed, trying to resist it.

"ZIM, they're here because they do care. Now please just . . ." Red bit his bottom lip hard, bowing his head. "You're scaring me." Red whimpered. ZIM tilted his head. Red looked back up to his brother. His eyes half lidded. Tears started to form in the corners. "I want you to be happy again." ZIM adverted his eyes.

"Fine, I'll go talk to them."

"ZIM, this isn't just talking. It's therapy." ZIM scowled.

"Therapy? I don't need therapy, Red!" ZIM snarled. "I'm not crazy!"

"I never said you were-" Red cut himself off. "Come on. Let's go down now." Red stood and took ZIM's hand and led him out. They descended the stairs. ZIM looked at the family room full of people. All his family members that lived with him, his friends Red had mentioned and Jalokia, Mevlo, and Skoodge. ZIM glared bitterly.

"Damn, it's as if someone died . . . Or should have died." ZIM heard Red sigh heavily. Once at the bottom Red told ZIM to take a seat. The boy frowned feeling that this was just going to be a cheesy support group meeting. ZIM flopped, moodily down on the couch in between Leslie and Purple. He crossed his arms. That's when he noticed someone he never seen before. The stranger Irken was holding a clipboard and taking notes on ZIM's current behavior. "You hired a therapist?" ZIM growled at Red. Red didn't say anything. He allowed the man to take over.

"Zeiden, my name is Dr. Al Chany. I bet you know why everyone is here today." The Irken's voice was extremely calm and gentle. ZIM just scoffed.

"Because they don't think a defect like me deserves to die." ZIM mumbled. The Irkens in the room went as still as death at the 'D' word mentioned. The doctor cleared his throat.

"Why do you think you're a . . . defect, ZIM?" ZIM sat up straight, clawing the couch underneath him.

"How can I not? My body doesn't work! It's totaled!" ZIM shouted. He was already on the brink of going nuts. "Do people try to fix a totaled voot? No! They take it to the scrap yard!"

"Why do you compare yourself to a cruiser?" Chany asked.

"It's an analogy, dumbass." The doctor just nodded slowly. He then looked at the people sitting around.

"I want to go around in a circle and have every one of you guys say something about ZIM that you think doesn't make him a broken voot or better yet, say something about him that makes him so special or what you love about him." The doctor looked to Red. "Let's start with his guardian." Red looked at his lap, pondering on something to say that would hopefully move ZIM in an emotional way. He then gazed up and looked ZIM in the eye.

"I see a lot of our mom inside of you, Zeiden." Red said. ZIM's hard glare softened a bit. The boy knew that even mentioning their mom was hard for the oldest Macale sibling. He rarely spoke of her and when he did, he usually got incredibly emotional.

"Mom . . ." ZIM whispered, remembering the dream he had about her. He wasn't entirely sure if it was even a dream, though. Next to Red was Tenn.

"You're our silly, smeet brother." She smiled, warmly.

"You're a 'go-getter' with lots of enthusiasm." Zee added.

"You're incredibly talented." Jalokia said.

"You're so understanding." Mevlo chimed. Timmy was next. ZIM leaned forward anticipating what the boy had to say. ZIM wasn't even sure if Timmy would take this meeting seriously. The boy wasn't making eye contact with anyone. Moments of silence passed waiting for Timmy.

"As much as I hate to admit this . . . You're way better at baseball than I could ever be." Timmy grinned. ZIM cracked a smile.

"You make a great leader." A.J. said.

"A wonderful role model." Chester piped up. ZIM's eyes shifted to Dib. His face was buried in his hands. He was breathing heavily.

"A great friend." The boy whined, his voice muffled by his hands. "One of my closest." Dib looked up at ZIM with tears streaking down his face. "One of my only friends. If you leave now, I would be lonely again, Zeiden. I need you." ZIM's jaw went agape slightly. Dib was upset. Very upset that one of his only friends wanted to leave him behind. ZIM felt awful and even a little swayed. Tak was next to him. She out a hand on his back.

"I love that we have such a fantastic relationship. And I love how you can get along with anyone." She said. Purple cleared his throat, putting an arm around ZIM.

"You're the little brother I've always wanted." He said.

"You're so funny and adorable." Leslie cooed.

"You include everyone. You make sure no one is left behind." Gaz said.

"You don't let fame and fortune get to your head like any other celebrity diva. You're down to earth and I love that about you." After Skoodge they were back to the doctor.

"What do you have to say about that, ZIM?" He asked. ZIM sucked in as much air as his lungs could hold.

"I-I . . . I don't want to hurt you guys." ZIM said. He then regretfully added, "But I also don't want to be hurting anymore."

The Next Day

"Don't do this to me! You'll just be making it worse!" ZIM screeched, holding on to Red's pant legs for dear life.

"Zeiden, please." Red hushed him. "You need this, it's only for the weekend. It'll do you good . . . I promise."

"I don't want to be here! They can't help me! No one can! Please, Red!" Red crouched to ZIM's height, holding the boys upper arms, making him look him in the eye.

"This is for your own good." He hissed. "I want you to be happy again, ZIM."

"I won't find happiness in this hellhole!" ZIM yelled. He wrapped his arms around Red's neck. "I want to go home! I don't want to be here! I'm not crazy!"

"ZIM, I know you're not crazy." Red embraced the boy back. "You're not crazy, you just need help. That's why I brought you to this hospital."

"You brought me to a psych ward!" ZIM shouted. "You're throwing me away with the loonies!" Red shook his head. A male nurse approached them.

"Dr. Macale, visiting hours are done now. We'll take good care of ZIM up until you come back on Sunday." Red nodded. He looked at ZIM.

"I'm leaving now, ZIM. Please behave, don't do anything to hurt yourself." Red said. ZIM latched onto Red again.

"I'm not staying here! I'm not! I'm not crazy!" Red tried to pry ZIM off. "No! I'm not gonna stay here!" Red looked pleadingly over to the two male nurses watching. They nodded and walked over to assist. They forcefully pulled ZIM away from Red. ZIM started to cry and scream curses in all the languages he knew. Red stood up again and observed the nurses handle his kid brother.

"Red! Don't let them take me!" ZIM kicked and thrashed in his manual restraints. The nurses held him without a sweat. "Reeed! Please! I can't stay here! I can't! Please! Don't let them take me away!" ZIM swiftly kicked one of the nurses in the shin. He grunted but his grip did not loosen even a bit. The other nurse physically picked the fretting boy up and bear hugged him to prevent him from lashing out again. A lump started to develop in Red's throat at the sickening sight before him. Never before had he thought he'd have to see his brother getting dragged away by two men wearing white. It made him ill almost. Red's head echoed with ZIM's cries for help as he was being carried out. He shuddered.

"I'm sorry, ZIM." He muttered. "I'm so sorry."

April 22, 2001

ZIM stared off into space at the plain white wall above him. He's been like that for the last few hours now. Staring to the point of hurting his eyes. But he was in deep thought. How could his brother just dump him off at a place like this? With a bunch of crazies! He wasn't crazy! He just wanted to be perfect in heaven!

He spent the night here and hated it. Screams of other patients kept him up at night. Red was over exaggerating the whole situation. He didn't need to be put in a mental hospital, wearing white pajama-like pants and a plain white T-shirt with no shoes. Only crazy people wore those outfits. And ZIM was not crazy! Just . . . angry and sad.

"Zeiden? Have you finished your food yet?" ZIM heard the voice but did not bother to give the owner the courtesy of eye contact.

"I'm not eating that shit." ZIM grumbled. The door to his room cell opened and three different people walked in. A doctor and two nurses.

"ZIM, you know if you refuse to eat, we're obligated to force feed you." ZIM groaned. "Listen, we've forced you to do enough things in the past twelve hours. Will you please just do something willingly for us just this once?" The doctor asked. ZIM said nothing. An entire minute silence passed.

"I want to go home." ZIM whined.

"We know you do, but you need help first, Zeiden." The doctor said. "Eat and then we'll take you to a one-on-one therapy session." The doctor turned to one of the nurses and told her to watch ZIM eat the food. She nodded and walked further into the room and sat on ZIM's bed. She pointed to the plate of food on the night stand by ZIM's temporary bed.

"Eat up, then you can see the doctor." She said. ZIM shot her a glare. "You cannot starve yourself here, so don't even try."

"I don't plan on leaving this world by malnutrition." ZIM mumbled. "Though if I don't eat I may have a seizure." The nurse thrusted the plate into ZIM's hands.

"Eat. Now." ZIM stared down at the plate. Nothing more than a piece of toast and a slice of ham.

"Wow. A feast fit for a king." ZIM said, sarcastically. He picked up the toast and bit into it, lips curling down in distaste. "It makes me nervous when people watch me eat."

"Well I'm afraid you have no choice in what you want." ZIM was getting irritated. Red would be getting an antenna-full for making ZIM endure this treatment.

"Can I make a phone call before I see the doctor?"

"You only get one phone call your whole visit here. Are you sure you want to use it now?" ZIM nodded. The two let a moment of quiet pass.

"Very well." The nurse waited till he ate everything before leading him down the hall of the hospital. ZIM looked at the rooms they passed. Every now and then he'd be able to see one of the patients occupying that room, either laughing hysterically or staring off into space. The two reached the end of the hall. The nurse scanned her badge to allow herself access out of the patient hall. She brought ZIM to a phone on the far wall. ZIM stood before the phone just pondering on what he was going to say to his 'loving' brother.

ZIM picked up the phone off the receiver and dialed Red's cell number in hopes he had it with him wherever he was. Probably at the studio updating the cast and crew of his current condition. The phone rung three times until Red finally picked up.

"Yes?" Came ZIM's older brother's voice. Anger washed over ZIM at how nonchalant he sounded.

"I want to go home." ZIM stated. There was a pause on the other end.

"ZIM?"

"Yes, ZIM! Who else would it be?" ZIM growled. Red went quiet again.

"ZIM, it's just one more night. You can last one more night. And please, just try to heal-"

"I'm not sick, you idiot! I'm not hurt! I'm most certainly not crazy! Why can't you understand that? I want to go home! This place just makes me want to kill myself even more!" ZIM roared. He knew he startled a few members of the faculty at his outburst but he was infuriated. He did not deserve this. Red sighed.

"Zeiden, I'm going to hang up now."

"No you're not! You're going to talk to me!" ZIM shouted.

"I love you, child. Please be good."

"Red, don't hang up! Don't do it! I need to-" ZIM heard the dial tone before he could finish his sentence. This made ZIM get even angrier, if that was even possible. The little Irken felt his tiny body shake from fury. His fists clenching and unclenching. "Fuck it!" ZIM ripped the phone and it's cord out of the dock. In a fit of anger, ZIM threw the phone across the room then swung his arm out punched the brick wall . . . hard. He felt the bones in his hand pop and crunch as his knuckles made contact with the cinderblock wall but the pain was overseen by rage.

The nurse with ZIM frantically called for security to get ZIM and place him in his room again until he calmed down. All the while ZIM was blinded by pure hatred toward the situation, his brother, and himself. He kicked the phone booth, watching it topple to the ground. Taking deep breaths, ZIM threw himself on the ground, curling up in fetal position. He started to sob. "Fuck. Fuck. I'm in trouble. Fuck." He whimpered. The now scared ZIM heard foot steps running in his direction making him cry louder in fear of what they'll do to him. He felt strong arms grab him and hoist him in the air. "Don't let them take me! Red, I'll behave! Don't let them take me!" ZIM cried out. "Reeeed!"

The security ignored ZIM's screams of protest and continued down the hall. When they got to his room they gently set ZIM down on his bed to let him know that they would not hurt him. As soon as ZIM was released, he went back into his curled position. "I want my brother. I want Red." ZIM sobbed. One of the guards put a hand on ZIM's head.

"It's okay, kid. Your brother will be here tomorrow to get you. Right now, the doctor will come see you." He said. And with that note he left the room with the other guards. ZIM laid on the bed, shoulders shuddering from every breath he took. If any one of his siblings saw him in this state, they'd wrap him up in a nice big hug, hold him close, kiss his head and tell him everything was alright. But his siblings weren't there right now. They dropped him off at this ward because they didn't want him. He knew it! He knew he was a hinderance to them! They didn't want him. They didn't want his broken body. No one did.

Later

"And why do you think your siblings hate you?" ZIM gave the doctor a cruel look.

"They brought me here." ZIM muttered. "They don't want a defective living with them." The doctor nodded, jotting down notes.

"Tell me, on the day that you had your out of body experience, did you see anyone?" ZIM didn't say anything for a long time. He dreamt that he saw his mother. But how could he have dreamed of her when he's never seen her before. Red didn't keep pictures of her anywhere. And all the pictures they had of her were back at the ranch where Red, Zee, and Tenn grew up. Besides, her face was covered by a bright light.

"A lady."

"What did she look like?" Another moment of silence. He saw her athletic yet petite body build, not her face. Her voice was familiar.

"Like my sister and I, but older." ZIM said.

"Did she say anything to you?" ZIM racked his brain for the information.

"She said something . . . I . . . I don't remember what exactly."

"Well, just tell me what you think she said."

"She said . . . It's not your time, my child."

"Is there any possibilities that the lady you saw was maybe your deceased mother?" The doctor asked. ZIM craned his head to the side, away from the doctor.

"I think it was my mum." ZIM admitted. The doctor leaned forward.

"ZIM, why do you think she said what she said?" ZIM turned his attention back to the doctor.

"I-I don't know." ZIM whispered.

"Because you still have a purpose here. You're not done here. Your life wasn't supposed to be over. You're religious, right?"

"I am." He answered.

"Have you ever considered the fact that this might be God's way of challenging you, child? Giving you that near death experience so you can learn something from it. You mayn't know what it is he wanted you to learn just yet, but you will. You just have to over come this challenge. He didn't want you dead, Zeiden, he wanted you to open your eyes and believe. His challenge that you're struggling right now with, is a test of faith. Faith for him, your friends, your family, and faith in yourself." ZIM bowed his head. "You need to realize, that he kept you alive for a reason. You're going to make a difference in this universe, ZIM. You're going to change the universe."

April 23, 2001

"ZIM, please talk to me." No answer. Red sighed, exasperatedly. "The doctor said you have came a little ways. He'd still like to talk more with you to see you get back to you normal self, but I must say, I'm glad you progressed a bit." Red waited to see if ZIM would talk to him. He did not say a thing since the phone call ZIM made yesterday. "ZIM, speak to me."

"You scared me." ZIM's voice was airy and quiet. Red's antenna perked up. "When you dropped me off there. I was scared. I didn't want to be there and I didn't know if you were coming back because I'm so defective-"

"Stop!" Red snapped. ZIM looked at Red, his eyes were still on the road ahead of them. "Just . . . stop. I can't stand it when you think you're defective. You're not! Even if you were, I'd love you anyway." Red pulled into their driveway. "I want nothing more from you, ZIM, than to just see you happy." Red turned off the truck and unbuckled ZIM from his seat, pulling the boy over to him. "Your friends miss you. They love you. We all love you. And you're the best damn thing that's ever happened to me, even if you came around when mom died. I'll admit, I was a little suicidal too when that happened, but then I realized that Yahweh was testing me." ZIM froze. "And I overcame that adversity and grew up to be mature and responsible. That's what he wanted from me. I was such an awful kid growing up always getting in trouble and lipping off, he gave me the challenge to raise you and it changed me for the better." ZIM rested his head on his brother's chest.

"That . . . makes sense." ZIM whispered. He looked up to Red with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I never meant to scare you. I just wanted not be a problem anymore." Red shook his head, kissing the boy between the eyes.

"Zeiden, you were never a problem."

April 25, 2001

"I apologize for any scares that I made you guys endure. You didn't deserve it and I was out of control. I was just so grieve stricken that I could have died that day and I didn't know how to handle it."

"It's alright, ZIM. We understand. And we're glad you're fine now. I mean, it's been nearly a whole two weeks without seeing you smile! I started to feel depressed myself." Dib said.

"Yes, well. Thanks to my depression, our show is behind schedule. We got to get back on track." ZIM said. His friends sat and stared at him for while.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to throw yourself back into your work so soon, ZIM? I mean, you still have time to recoup." A.J. told him. ZIM shook his head.

"It's been two weeks. I'll be fine." ZIM walked out of the lounge, asking Dib to follow him to talk in private. "So I couldn't help but think about you. Ever since you said that you were lonely before I came along." Dib lowered his head, rubbing his arm in shame.

"It's true. I wish I could be as outgoing and easygoing as you, but I'm not. I'm just not and I hate it. Everyone expects me to have a lot of friends because I hang out with you but that's false. It's just you, Tim, A.J., and Chester. The rest a acquaintances." ZIM opened the door to his dressing room.

"I'm sorry, D." ZIM said. "But I must say, you're quite the ladies man here. You have tons of girls throwing themselves at you everyday." Dib shuddered.

"Yeah. And I don't like it." Dib mumbled. ZIM chuckled.

"Ahh yes. I sometimes forget that you're still at the, 'girls have cooties' stage." Dib just grunted in reply. He gave ZIM a big grin.

"I'm glad you're better. You seem to be a repellant against cooties. That's why I stick around you at the studio dances." ZIM snorted.

"Nah! I'm not a cooties repellant. I'm immune. Hell, I have to be. Tak and I kiss a least once an hour everyday." Dib laughed.

"Yes, and I'm sure she missed kissing you over the weekend. What did she say once you got back?"

"She told me she misses me and we snuggled . . . for an entire hour. I got so bored but I couldn't tell her that. She'd get upset." ZIM said. He then looked at the clock. "We should get changed. I'll see you on set in ten minutes." Dib nodded and headed off to his own dressing room.

April 27, 2001

"Okay people, let's try to get this in one shot." Steve Russell said. "Can someone please fix Dib's hair?" ZIM uncrossed his legs from his chair with his name on it and turned to Dib.

"So how's baseball treating you?"

"The first practice was pretty vigorous." Dib said, allowing hair stylist to work on his do.

"Best get used to that." ZIM said. "They'll only get tougher."

"Thank god, it's the last day of filming, right?" Dib asked.

"Yes! I can't stand Keef! He's so . . . happy, if you know what I mean." ZIM said. Dib furrowed a brow.

"Yeah, I know what you mean . . . Can I ask you a question?" Dib crossed his arms. ZIM nodded.

"Shoot, mate."

"Why are you so homophobic?" This question caught ZIM off guard.

"I'm not homophobic!" ZIM defended himself. "Keef and I just have a difference in opinion."

"But you still hate homosexuals."

"I do not!"

"You hate Keef!"

"Because he's annoying! I don't hate gays, I don't fear gays. I love mankind equally. I just believe homosexuality is wrong. That's how I was brought up."

"Why?"

"The Torah says it's to'evah, an abomination. Marriage is between man and woman." ZIM stated. Dib looked like he was getting angry. "Listen, I know you're not religious, but I am so you need to respect my stance on this and I will yours."

"Whatever, ZIM." Dib grumbled looking down at his lap. ZIM felt like he touched a nerve.

"What's wrong, D?"

"Nothing."

"That's bull shit. Tell me."

"Zeiden, my dad is bisexual and I have several gay cousins too." Dib told ZIM. The Irken shrugged.

"So?"

"So . . . You should apologize for calling them abominations."

"I didn't call them abominations. Those were the words of the Torah. It's Yahweh's words not mine. And he wasn't talking about the people themselves, but rather their acts."

"Well Yahweh doesn't exist so you should stop wasting your time on worshipping a false god and join the real world." ZIM was hurt by the words Dib had said to him but he wouldn't let him know that.

"Where do you think you go after death, Dillon?"

"No where. Once you're dead, you're dead. There is no afterlife in some holy place. It's all made up propaganda to get fools like you to believe in stupid stuff like that so you can feel better about yourself." Dib muttered. ZIM scowled.

"I thought you were mature and respectful of other people's beliefs, Dillon. Guess I was wrong." ZIM got out of his chair to avoid another hurtful conversation. ZIM's mind was reeling. Dib never talked so offensively before. Maybe something was wrong with him. Maybe he was sad and confused and just needed to blow off some steam. Either way, disrespecting ZIM's opinion was uncalled for. The Irken groaned. He'd talk to his friend later about it. Now he just had to bare another day with the stupid ginger.

Later

Dib heard a knock at his dressing rooms door. Before he could welcome his guest in, the door opened and whoever it was decided to barge in and make themselves at home.

"What do you want, Zeiden?" Dib hissed, sitting on his couch. The Irken had a stern look on his face. ZIM plopped down on the couch.

"Let's talk." The green-skinned boy said, seriously. "I know us, as friends, well enough to understand that the conversation we had earlier was supposed to happen." Dib raised a brow. ZIM's facial features went from dark to prideful. "Congratulations to us! We made it to the second stage of friendship! We just had out first fight!" ZIM hugged the shocked boy tightly. "But you need to tell me, what's bothering you. You don't say out of line things unless you're truly upset about something." Dib frowned.

"Well . . . First of all, I'm sorry. What I said was definitely inappropriate. Second, I've been miserable lately. I'm having people come up to me and do some crazy things that only you can do. They think we're alike but we're not. I'm just . . . sick of being your shadow. You're multitalented and I'm not talented."

"Tell those people who think you are lesser than me to back the fuck off. I don't care if you can't do a backflip or hit a home run. You don't deserve to be treated as a loser."

"People just have such high expectations for me though. Like I'm you in a human form." Dib said.

"Like I said, tell them to fuck off. You're a whole hell of a lot smarter than me. You're better looking-"

"Oh shut up, Zeiden. I seen your concert. You had girls throwing their panties at you and screaming your name over and over again. I could never amount to you. I don't have crazy fans-"

"You don't want crazy fans."

"I'm not a multimillionaire."

"Don't talk about my wealth. You know I hate that."

"But-"

"Dillon, just stop comparing yourself to me. Trust me. I'm not all that great. Talent doesn't make a difference in this world. Intelligent people, like you, do. You could friggin' . . . find the cure to . . . guh . . . Um . . . HIV."

"There is no cure to AIDS, Zeiden." Dib stated.

"You see? You're smarter than me." ZIM said.

"Well . . . I feel like we had this conversation before." Dib said.

"Because we did, and you still don't seemed convinced."

"I just don't want to get looked down upon anymore." Dib sighed.

"Don't let people look down on you then." ZIM said. "Be yourself and people will realize that you have a total different personality from me." Dib nodded. "Better?"

"Yeah, I guess." Dib said. A knock was heard coming from Dib's door. "Will you get that?" Dib asked. "I have to gather my things, my dad is picking me up soon." ZIM nodded walking to the door and opening it. Tak was standing outside the door.

"Well, how is ya, mate?" ZIM greeted her with a kiss on the cheek.

"I was looking for you. I searched your room but couldn't find you."

"I've been here. What do you need?" ZIM asked.

"Red told me to tell you that we're not going to Australia until the smeet is born." ZIM groaned.

"But I hate L.A."

"Is New York any better?"

"Kind of . . . Not really. They're both cities." ZIM muttered. He turned to Dib. "I'm gonna leave, Dillon. Remember what I told ya, mate." The human boy nodded.

"I'll see you around, Zeiden." The Irken couple waved a goodbye and left the room, making their ways down the hall into the lobby and out the front door.

"The camera crew is at home again." Tak reported.

"Oh yeah? What are they filming this time?"

"They're just bothering Purple with a bunch of hockey questions and Red with rodeo questions. They want to ask you about baseball." Tak said.

"Of course they do." ZIM sighed.

April 28, 2001

Finally the second episode was about to broadcast on T.V. They were a bit behind schedule, mostly because of ZIM's temporary clinical depression and Dib's sprained wrist during the filming of NanoZIM. But now that they were done with that episode they could get new material. And best of all, ZIM didn't have to deal with Keef anymore.

"Damn it!" ZIM jumped at the loud curse nearly dropping his phone in the process. He turned in his seat in the basement den to the stairs. Red was walking, painfully down the steps. The man was cringing and panting.

"Uhh . . . Do you need help?" ZIM asked.

"No, no. Just got God damn contractions."

"Yeah well . . . You're entering the last month of pregnancy. It's gonna be hell for you."

"Oh you just wait till you get pregnant, bud!" Red wobbled to the coffee bar to make himself a drink.

"Who said I was the one getting pregnant?" ZIM asked. "Tak is perfectly capable of baring smeets too."

"Who said you were marrying, Tak?" Red raised a brow. ZIM opened his mouth to respond then closed it again when nothing came to him. "Your other croc is dead. Go dispose of the body." ZIM grunted.

"Nah, I'll let Handbag eat him. I'm getting sick of going the the store every fricken week and ordering fifty pounds of fish meat."

"ZIM, that's gross. Besides, the other croc died of infection. If she eats her brother, she's gonna die too." The Irken boy moaned.

"Fine. But I'm doing it grudgingly." ZIM said.

"I don't care what kind of emotion you have when you do it. Just do it." Red said. ZIM let out an exasperated breath. ZIM was just about to leave when he heard his brother groan then curse again.

"Red, you don't seem well."

"I am fine. I need to-" He cut himself off when a massive headache overcame him. "Aspirin."

"Been having migraines?"

"Horrible ones. I can't sleep, I'm always hungry. I'm nauseous. I'm sore. I'm irritable. My wife doesn't seem to love me."

"Red, I'm sorry to say this but," ZIM switched his voice to sound like a doctor from some sort of cheesy soap opera. "I'm diagnosing you with a severe case of pregnant brain. It's only temporary. I'm sure it'll go away in a month."

"Oh doctor. Is there anything I can do to make my symptoms less unbearable?" Red asked, playing along as the patient.

"I'm sorry, son." ZIM put a hand on Red's shoulder. "There is nothing I can do. You're just gonna have to wait it out." Red smiled at his brother.

"I can try."

"I guess there is one medication I could prescribe you with." ZIM said, thoughtfully.

"Oh really? What is that?" Red asked. ZIM stretched out his arms and wrapped them around Red, giving him a big hug.

"The medicine of love!" ZIM chirped. Red put a hand over his heart.

"Oh I feel so much better! Thank you doctor! You're the best!" Red returned the hug to his little brother, kissing his antenna. The two laughed together. "Ahhh . . . We are dorks."

"We arrrre." ZIM drawled in agreement.

May 5, 2001

It was very nostalgic to be working with her again. He missed practicing with her but it was a bit awkward considering that her and Purple broke up months ago. After he was done running the laps at the high school Tenn worked at, their conditioning for the day would be done and he'd take her home back to his house. That's when Purple will tell her the news that he was engaged.

"Alright. You ready, Zimmy?" ZIM's trainer asked.

"Ready, Sam." The Irken said. "I'm glad you'll be helping me for awhile. I couldn't train in New York because I have a contract here. This is very convenient this way."

"It is, isn't it?" Sam said. "I kind of missed L.A."

"But you missed me mostly, right?" ZIM asked. Sam smiled warmly down at him and ruffled his antenna as the two made their way to their cars.

"Of course, bud." ZIM opened his truck door and hopped in.

"Just follow me. I don't live too far from here." ZIM told her. Sam gave him a thumbs up. In no time at all they made it back home. ZIM got out of his truck and escorted Sam into his home.

"Say, Uh, ZIM . . ."

"Yes?"

"How are Peder and Tenn doing?" ZIM froze. He didn't know what to say.

"Ehhh . . . I'll let Purple answer that. Peder! Peder, C'mere!" ZIM shouted up to the bed rooms. A thud was heard coming from up stairs.

"What do you want?" Came Purple's voice.

"Get over here!" ZIM practically screeched. Moments later Purple descended from the steps. He stopped midway down when he saw Sam. He was thinking about turning around and heading back up. But he didn't want to be rude, did he?

"Hello . . . Sam." He welcomed her, climbing down the rest of the way. ZIM winked at him and headed up to the second level. Purple sat on the sofa with Sam. "How has life been treating you?"

"Good, good. You?" She asked.

"Fine. Things have been fine." He responded, not meeting her eye. "Uh, there is something I should tell you, I guess . . . Since you're here and all."

"Yeah me too." Sam admitted.

"Okay then. You go first." Purple said.

"No, no. You go ahead."

"Nah, I insist. Ladies always are first."

"I don't know if I should say it."

"Just go ahead and speak your mind. You always used to." Purple said.

"But this seems a bit . . . crazy." Sam said, fidgeting badly.

"I don't care. I live with a house full of crazies. I'm used to it."

"I'm not sure."

"Just say it-" Purple was stopped short by Sam pressing her lips to his. His eyes widened and his heart pounded hard.

"I love you." Sam blurted out when she released him. Purple was taken aback.

"S-Sam . . . I-I, we can't . . . Huh?" Purple was dumbfounded. Maybe he should of said what he needed to say before her.

"Remember why I left you? Because I didn't want you to face future heartbreak when I die and you stay alive? I was just being unselfish but . . . When I left to go back home I missed you so much and . . . I truly do love you." Purple's face flushed.

"Samantha, we can't do this." He whispered. "I'm sorry but-" Sam put a finger to his lips, quieting him.

"I just want you back." She said. "I want you." Sam leaned in for another kiss but Purple pulled back.

"Sam, no. You don't understand. I'm engaged." Purple said. Sam stopped, sitting back in disbelief.

"You . . . You're marrying Tenn?" Purple nodded.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I should of told you." The man said. Sam put a hand over her mouth.

"I'm sorry I kissed you. I shouldn't have done that. I-" Sam bit her lip. "I got to go." She stood up bolting to the door.

"Samantha wait. You don't have to leave so quick. I understand why you're upset!" The front door slammed shut and she was gone. The man groaned. "Shit. That was awkward."

May 15, 2001

Red bit his lip to prevent any profanities from slipping past his tongue. It felt so weird and Leslie's hand were cold. His face was flushed from his current awkward state. At least their bedroom door was locked. Red gasped when he felt some tugging on his lower half. Maybe getting this perineal massage wasn't worth it.

"Ehm, are we almost done?" Red asked, staring at the ceiling trying to concentrate on the lights instead of the sensation in his groin. His legs were bent upward and open. He wasn't wearing anything below his waist. Leslie peaked over the blanket that covered his nude lower section.

"Honey, we just started." She said, calmly. Red sighed, not taking his eyes off the ceiling. "Does it hurt?" Red nodded. "I'm sorry, babe. Let me just stretch you out a little further then we can be done." Red shivered when her cold hands went back to touching him. Minutes passed with absolute silence lingering in the air. When Leslie did try to talk to her husband however he would usually just respond with a grunt. The woman finally spoke again. "You can relax now, Hun. I'm done." She said, wiping her hands on her pants. Red sigh with relief and closed his legs.

"Thank God." He said. "My legs were numbing." Leslie smiled, helping him sit up.

"I'll go get your pants." Leslie said. "And since you've been such a good boy this time, I'll let you cuddle with me for a few minutes." Red's eyes lit up.

"Really?" He asked. His wife nodded. "Aw yay!" He watched her as she moved from the bed to the floor and picked up Red's maternity jeans from Irk. He took them from her and quickly slipped them on not bothering with underwear. He jumped back on the bed next to Leslie and laid himself over her lap, belly up as if he were a kitten. Leslie absentmindedly started to fiddle with his antenna.

"Think of any names for her yet?" Leslie asked.

"No. I want it to be Irken though." Red said. "Or a hybrid name of earthen and Irken. That'll be unique."

"Mmkay. That sounds good to me." Leslie looked out their window. "It's been a long few months hasn't it?" Red nodded.

"Especially since you won't let me drink or smoke." Red pouted.

"Don't you dare get started on that, Red Macale." Leslie scowled. Red closed his mouth. His brow furrowed when he had a weird feeling in his stomach.

"She's kicking again. She likes to kick me. Tell her to stop kicking me." Red whined. Leslie chuckled, leaning over his stomach.

"Hey, baby girl. Are you restless?" Leslie whispered.

"Don't be nice to her! She's kicking me!" Leslie covered Red's mouth with her hand.

"Shhh, we're having mother/daughter bonding time."

"Immf fiff hmm." Red tried to say from behind her hand.

"What?" Leslie picked up her hand.

"I'm still here so technically it's mother/daughter plus daddy bonding time. So hah!" Leslie rolled her eyes then whispered to her husband's stomach again.

"Kick your da again." Leslie said. Red huffed.

"What are you teaching our daughter. Some role model you are." Red snickered at Leslie's unamused face.

"You think you're so funny and cute." She said.

"I don't think that . . . It's true and everyone knows it." Red said.

"Oh! By the way . . ." Leslie reached to her nightstand to her purse. "Sandy gave this to me yesterday. It's your check from the rodeo. Got lost in the mail." Leslie handed the paper to Red. He looked at the white envelope inspecting it carefully. He opened it and looked at his total income.

"Hoo, five grand for those two nights." Red said. "What charity should I donate this to?"

"Put it towards feeding starving children or something, I dunno . . . You're not thinking of riding again are you?" When Red didn't answer, she knew what he was thinking. "I told you before that you're not. Now that we're having a daughter you're definitely not." Red glared at Leslie, sitting up. He remained quiet. "And don't you even think about sneaking out like last time. I'll install a damn tracker chip in you just so I can hunt you down and drag your sorry ass back home." Red's eyes softened.

"You . . . You sound exactly like my mum." Red said. "She was quite protective of me and my sisters."

"Well . . . I guess since she's not here anymore someone needs to tell you 'no'. Apparently that's my job now." Leslie said. "I'm serious though. No way in hell are you getting on another bull. I don't care for how long you've been doing it. You went a decade without riding after ZIM was born. I think you can last the rest of your life time."

"Meh, the only reason I went so long with out riding was because I was busy with school, ZIM, the girls, my mom's passing, my dad's MIA, and all that fun shit." Red said. He looked back to Leslie. "I've had a rather eventful life."

"I know you have." Leslie said. "Some events were a little frightening for you considering that you have night terrors often."

"Those night terrors are based off-"

"Horrible memories, Red." Leslie finished for him. "I once heard you whimpering, 'You gotta stay, ma' one night. You woke up crying, remember?" Red bowed his head. His mind was fuzzy.

"It's just . . . So many accomplishments and failures and heartbreak."

"What would you say your biggest accomplishment was?" Leslie asked. Red looked her straight in the eye. A serious look on his face.

"Getting married."

May 26, 2001

"Okay, we're just gonna do a quick rehearsal. Uhh . . . We need someone to pretend to be Gir and two other's to be robomom and dad." Jhonen said. The young man looked amongst the cast and even the crew. He pointed at Dib. "Pretend to be Gir." His finger moved to Red and Purple next. "And you two are ZIM's parents. We'll use you guys for practice until we animate them in later." ZIM smiled at Dib as he approached him.

"Ya best get yer crazy on, mate!" ZIM said, bumping his hip into Dib's. The boy rubbed his arm.

"Mm yeah. I should." Dib said.

"Alright, since everyone is here we are starting on page six." Every cast member started to flip through their scripts. "Start from where ZIM introduces his 'parents' to Miss. Bitters." ZIM scanned the page to the correct spot then looked behind him to Red and Purple. The elderly woman stood before him.

"Err 'kay." ZIM mumbled. He cleared his throat. "These are my parents. I love them with all my heart." The old woman look at Purple portraying to be dad and Red as mom. Purple gave her a wide smile whereas Red tilted his head to the side in confusion. "I must have punch now!" ZIM announced walking off. He saunters off with his brothers following behind him.

"I think we make a cute couple!" Purple exclaimed to Red as they walked off. Miss. Bitters growled and said her next line. ZIM walked to a table they had set up to be the pretend punch table. Dib was standing by it.

"Hello, ZIM." Dib sneered. ZIM narrowed his eyes not turning to the boy.

"Dib." ZIM hissed back.

"Oo, tension."

"Peder, shut up." ZIM said.

"Dad, there's someone I want you to meet. This is ZIM. You know, the alien?" Dib's dad looked down at ZIM intrigued.

"And what country is the little, green boy from?" Mr. Baker asked.

"Wait, wait! Don't tell him, ZIM!" Purple interrupted. "It's Greenland! Right? No! Austria!"

"Australia!" Red chirped. "I know this . . . I know this, I know this because, um, because he's my brovver." Red said as if he were a toddler trying to tell a story.

"Oooh! I was close!" Purple said mimicking the tone.

"You two, stow it!" ZIM snapped. The two Irken men went quiet then looked at each other.

"That wasn't very kind." Purple whispered.

"Not very at all." Red agreed. "You're not . . . in our club anymore, ZIM. You're a meanie."

"What club?" ZIM asked.

"The club of . . ."

"Brohood!" Purple said, finishing for Red.

"We never had a club-"

"We do now. And you were never apart of it and never will be." Red said.

"But you just said I was out of the club-"

"ZIM, you are now a member of our club." Purple said. ZIM cocked a brow. "And now you're not. Dillon, would you like to join our club of Brohood?" The boy was speechless. He didn't know what to say.

"Just ignore them, D. One has a serious case of pregnant brain the other is just stupid." ZIM said.

"Hey, ZIM said you have a pregnant brain!" Red told Purple.

"And you just indirectly called yourself stupid." Purple pointed out. Red scratched his head in thought.

". . . When?"

"Will you two please get back on track?" Jhonen asked, exasperatedly.

"Right then, carry on." Purple said to the others.

"Mr. Baker could you repeat you line?"

"Of course." Dib's father said. "And what country is the little, green boy from?"

"Yes, yes, that's fascinating." ZIM said, not really paying attention. He then bolted off in another direction. He came up to a boy by the name of Billy Slunchy. "Sooo, what's goin' on?"

"My mom won't shut up about me. It's really embarrassing." The boy said, angrily. His older brother Mongo looked at him.

"At least she's not showing the pictures." He said. The mother of the two reached into her purse and grabbed a wallet.

"Oh, and you've just got to see these pictures!" She said to Red and Purple. The woman started to show them to Red. "Now here's Billy cryin' for getting kicked off the soccer team for cryin' too much." The boy started to fake crying. Red snorted.

"Hah! Wuss." Red said. "I never cried in soccer. Not even when I broke my freakin' ankle . . . Actually, I do think I started crying then." The mother looked at Red with a raised eyebrow. "Wha- Oh! Um . . . Grass stains sure are tough to get out of those soccer uniforms."

"Sports aren't everything. I'm sure your boy will find something he's good at." Purple said. "Daw, who am I kidding? Sports are everything! Your boy needs to play hockey."

"Stick to the script." ZIM growled. "Geez! Sometimes I feel like I'm babysitting you two dumbasses."

"Aww. He's so rude today. It's hurting my feelings." Purple said.

"Amish shun. He'll start crying sooner or later." Red said.

"No! No one is shunning everyone. Let's get this rehearsal over with now." Jhonen groaned. "Please?"

"Mr. Vasquez we should break for lunch soon anyway. We got a late start." A stage hand said.

"Guh, damn it. I really wanted to run the whole thing through. Uh, okay, break for lunch. You might want to get there before Red eats everything in sight." Jhonen said.

"I'm not fat!"

"And when you're done come back and we'll go through the next script." Jhonen said ignoring Red's statement. "Be back in an hour." The cast and crew broke up and went off to do their own thing.

"We're going out for dinner, D. Wanna join?" ZIM asked.

"With who?"

"Red, Peder, Gaz and I."

"Oh, sure. I'll go. Timmy, Chester and A.J.'s cast already had lunch. I don't want to eat alone." Dib said. "Let me get some money from my dad first."

"Forget about it. I'll pay." ZIM grabbed Dib's wrist and pulled him along following his brothers and Gaz.

"Why is he coming?" Gaz asked, pointing at Dib.

"I invited him. Problem?" ZIM crossed his arms, looking at her. Gaz frowned but said nothing more. The five walked out to Red's Avalanche having Purple drive, Red in the passengers seat, Gaz sitting in between the two men and Dib and ZIM chilling in the back. "Where're we goin'?"

"Benihana Japanese Steakhouse. The one we live by." Purple said.

"That sounds like yum." ZIM said.

"That's a five star restaurant." Dib informed. ZIM leaned back in his seat.

"What can we say? We're classy bogans."

"Hah! There is no such thing. I'd prefer to call us country folk . . . with a small tinge of bogan." Red said. He looked to Purple. "And you're just a Canadian idiot." Purple pouted.

"Offensive."

"Get over it."

"You're being a jerk too. You're out if the club."

"Nuh Uh! I founded the club! You're out!" Red snapped. ZIM rolled his eyes as the two men got into a playful argument.

"Cletus! You're always yelling at me!" Purple yelled at Red in a poor southern American accent.

"That's because you're a fool, Jennifer!" Red shouted back, mocking the accent too.

"Cletus! That was rude!"

"Shut up! I'm a god!"

"Cleeeetuuuusss!"

"Guys, shut up!" ZIM screamed from the backseat. The two older Irkens went quiet, looking at each other. An awkward silence lingered for a long moment.

"Cletus, your little brother sure is snarky today." Purple said after awhile. Dib was stifling his laughter as ZIM rolled his eyes.

"I live with that everyday, Dib. Everyday."

May 29, 2001

(Explicit Detail Warning)

"Alright guys, we're doing the same thing today. Let's run through the Parent Teacher Night script then we'll break, then move on to the next script." Jhonen told his cast. "And here's an idea. Maybe if we don't goof off this time we can go home sooner? Huh? How about that?" The cast stared at him blankly. "Just get into your spots." The actors and actresses immediately took the set and positioned themselves as what was written on their script outlines. Red and Purple would be the parents again as well as Dib being Gir.

ZIM sat on the chair of his desk in the classroom setting and waited to start. Soon Miss. Bitters rattled off her lines and ZIM acted bored until he was instructed to get on the edge of his seat and pretend to be anxious for school to get out. Once the 'bell' rung he sighed with relief and hopped out of his chair and was about to walk out with the other kids.

"Don't forget that tonight is parent-teacher night. Everyone is required to bring their parents to the cafeteria." Miss. Bitters snarled at the students. ZIM stopped dead in his tracks and whirled around to face her.

"I never agreed to attend this parent-teacher night." ZIM challenged.

"Yes you did." Miss. Bitters said.

"No. You lie! You liiiieee!" ZIM screamed. "Ehm. I don't like that line. Hurts my throat."

"Then don't speak so hoarsely." Steve said.

"I can't help it. I have allergies." ZIM said.

"Okay just . . . Go from your line. Skip the video portion and go right to your next line, ZIM." ZIM scanned his paper.

"Why would you tape that?" ZIM asked.

"Putting up a lot of fight for something as simple as parent-teacher night, Zim. I bet he doesn't even know what parents are!" Dib sneered getting in ZIM's face. The Irken looked as if he were reminiscing.

"Of course I do . . . sorta." ZIM said, sadly.

"Getting raised by your brother doesn't count as parents." Dib pointed out. ZIM scowled.

"You're just a jerk today." ZIM crossed his arms.

"Boys, script!" Steve snapped the boys back into what they were supposed to be doing.

"Oh yeah!" ZIM said. "Of course I dooo."

"Actually, ZIM, I want to start-" Steve stopped mid sentence to look at the other two Irkens on set. Purple seemed to be rubbing Red's back trying to comfort the man as much as possible. He was doubled over in pain with a flustered expression. "Red, you don't look so good. We can have someone else act as robomom if you want to go home." Steve said. Red shook his head.

"No, no. I'm fine. Just really bad contractions."

"Aren't you due any day now?" Steve questioned.

"Yes."

"You should probably sit." Purple said to his best friend. "You look flushed." Red sighed heavily.

"I know I do. The contractions have been getting bad lately. Especially since this morning." Red said. Zee pursed her lips tightly.

"Where are your contractions, Red?" Zee asked. She and Tenn went to the set that morning just in case Red needed them.

"Umm . . ."

"Just tell me."

"My . . . cervix." Red admitted. Zee's eyes widened. She looked to her sister who had the same reaction.

"Red, you're in labor." Everyone on set went deathly quiet. All heads turned to them.

"I-I know." Red said.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Tenn asked. Red said nothing. "How long?"

"My water broke this morning at five."

"That was nearly ten hours ago!" Zee screeched. "We have to get you checked in to the hospital!" Red bit his lip, cringing in immense pain.

"Just call, Leslie." He whined, nearly falling to his knees. His only support was Purple holding on to him.

"Male Irken labors only last for ten hours! What were you thinking? Did you want to have the smeet here?" Purple asked.

"Of course not! I just . . . didn't want to draw attention to myself."

"Well you're definitely drawing attention right now." Purple said. Red suddenly cried out in pain holding his pelvis.

"God, it hurts!"

"What do we do?" Steve asked.

"Get the studio nurse. Red is in the final stage of labor. He can't be transported to the hospital anymore otherwise he runs the risk of having the smeet in traffic." Zee said. "Tenn, did you call Leslie?" Tenn nodded. "Good. Someone get us towels! We need towels." A stagehand immediately did just that.

"Can we get some privacy here?" ZIM asked the curious crowd. The cast and crew all looked to one another then slowly filed out of the room so only Red his siblings, Purple and a few female stagehands were on the scene.

"Leslie was already on her way here. She should arrive in three minutes." Tenn said. "ZIM will you go meet her outside?" The young boy nodded and hurried out of the soundstage. When he left he noticed tons of toons from lots of different shows already flocking to the scene just outside the exit of the soundstage.

"What's going on, ZIM?" The sea star, Patrick, asked.

"My brother is having his smeet here. I need to go get Leslie."

"Is he alright?" Debbie Thornberry concerned.

"He's fine-" ZIM was cut off by a scream of pain on the other side of the door. "Ya know . . . It's birth and all. He's gonna be in a bit of pain." ZIM dashed away from the crowd and to the parking lot. Just as he burst through the exit door Leslie was getting out of her car. She ran to the building.

"Where is he? He didn't have her yet, did he?" ZIM shook his head.

"No. He doesn't even have his pants off yet." Leslie sighed with relief. "Follow me." ZIM led her down the halls to soundstage five. Now practically everyone from the studio was crunching up by the door. ZIM and Leslie had to push their way through the dense crowd to get back in. ZIM caught a glimpse of Dib, Timmy, Chester, and A.J. The four all gave ZIM a thumbs up. He smiled at them in return before going back into the stage.

When the two got into the room they found Red with several others near the right wall. Red was leaning up against the wall panting hard as the studio nurse rid him of his pants and boxers. His face burned bright red from the humiliation of the thought of being naked from the waist down in front of so many people. The man looked to Leslie with teary eyes.

"Leslie . . ." He whimpered then went into a flying rage. "Get over here!" His wife rushed to his side.

"Why didn't you tell me you went into labor?" She asked.

"Don't ask me questions! Just make this pain end!" Red yelled. The nurse finished tugging off his pants and underwear. She quickly threw a towel under his legs so there was no big mess to clean.

"Okay get him away from the wall." She instructed. Leslie helped Red painfully scoot across the floor till they were at least two yards away for more room. Leslie went behind Red and got on her knees sitting on her feet. She told Red to lean his back on her lap as he got ready for what was next. ZIM got on Red's left side smiling warmly at his brother, holding his hand.

"Lookin' good there, Red."

"Sh-shut up." Red panted. Tenn got on the other side of her brother, mirroring ZIM's actions by taking Red's right hand into her own. The nurse was at the foot of Red, inspecting his lower region.

"Les, would you like a mirror down here so you can see the baby come out?" She asked. Leslie shook her head.

"I can see it from here." She said, unbuttoning Red's shirt, so he could be cool.

"Alright then, Purple and Zee if you would please pick up Red's legs and spread them far apart." The Zee did just that, Purple was a little more hesitant. Picking his legs up by wrapping on arm around his thigh the other supporting the heel of his small, bare feet. "Great. Red, honey, you're already dilated at eight centimeters. Two more centimeters and you'll be ready to get that baby out."

"Smeet." Leslie corrected, putting her hands on her husband's cheeks and looking down in love. Red gritted his teeth. He gasped when he felt a finger touch him where the smeet would be exiting. The nurse pushed into him and pulled down.

"I need you to push, Red. Can you push for me? Right where my finger is?" The nurse asked. Red shook his head, trying to catch his breath again. His contraction came back and he had a nasty urge to suddenly push. A few tears slipped from his eyes.

"Gah! I don't want to do this! Make it stop!" He cried.

"Push, babe. You need to be fully dilated." Leslie said.

"I'm not ready!"

"Push, Red!"

"It hurts!"

"Push!" Red finally complied. He sucked in his breath, held it and gave one tremendous push grunting as he did so. His eyes weld themselves shut.

"Great! You're at ten centimeters! Now just breath right now. Breath and relax." The nurse instructed. Red took several shallow, shaky breaths. "Good, good, now . . . Push!" Red growled.

"Bitch, I'll push when I want to!" He shouted. "Oh my God! Leslie! You did this to me!" Red clenched his hands hard making Tenn and ZIM who were still holding his hands wince in pain.

"Damn it, Red! Push!" Leslie scowled.

"I don't react well with pressure!" Red took in a deep breath biting his lip as he grunted and pushed as hard as he could. Leslie could feel him shaking hard. Sweat started to pool over his body.

"Awesome! She's crowning! Keep pushing!" The nurse said, keeping her gaze between his legs. Leslie took a peak too in order to see her baby. Even though it was slightly disturbing to look at, she couldn't help but smile as the tiny antenna started to poke out of her father's womb.

"Ugh, noooo! Please! Make it stop!" Red cried. Leslie kissed him repeatedly to calm him as much as possible.

"Only you can make it stop! Just push that smeet out! Come on! You can do it!"

"I can't!" Red sobbed. "It hurts!" He wailed in agony. "Augh! Shit! Shit! It fuckin' burns!" Red pushed again. Leslie's gaze traveled from her husband's nether regions to Purple who started to look woozy.

"Pur, hang in there-" Before she could finish the Irken holding one of her husband's legs up, collapsed backwards.

"Coward!" Red screeched, his leg dropping with his friend. Another female stagehand took the now downed Purple's place and held his leg up instead. Red grunted pushing again, he screamed out from the horrible pain.

"The head is out. Give me three more massive pushes!" The nurse chirped.

"You're way to peppy! You're not allowed to be happy when I'm in pain!" Red yelled at her, angrily. He braced himself as he prepared to force the child out of him again. He clenched every single muscle in his body till he couldn't push no more. He exhaled deeply, trying to relax.

"Yes! Yes! The shoulders are out! Two more pushes! This is the easy part!" Red was now determined to get it done with. He braced himself then pushed. The smeet was half way out now. He waited for a moment before giving his grand finale push. His shouts and screams of pain were replaced by the sound of a squealing newborn. Red sighed loudly, slumping back against Leslie, crying hard. His scrunched his face up in both relief and soreness. His body still quivered from the excitement. Leslie let out a nervous chuckle.

"Oh shit." He looked down at his stomach. "No more tummy! . . . Too bad. I was getting really good at balancing stuff on it." Leslie couldn't help but laugh, in mostly joy. The nurse had the bundle of smeet wrapped up in one of the towels. Zee was cleaning Red. "How'd I do?" He slurred, exhaustedly.

"You were amazing, Hun." Leslie chuckled. She leaned down and pressed her lips to his. "Simply amazing." The nurse inched her way to the proud couple. She offered the bundle to Red. His eyes soften as he reached for it. He took the smeet, swaddled in the towel, cradling her in his arm. He raised the towel from over her face and started to ball with joy at what he saw.

Beautiful, big, cobalt colored eyes like her mother. Dark brownish-red, fuzzy baby hair on her head along with two tiny sharply kinked, curled antenna. Her skin was a pale-green color.

"Wow." Red said. He then started to laugh. "Hey! Hey guys! Look what I made!" ZIM peaked over Red's shoulder to see her. ZIM beamed at the sight of his new niece.

"Can I . . . name her?" ZIM wondered. "Taniqua Macale Strud. It rolls off the tongue. I like it-"

"We're not naming our smeet, Taniqua." Leslie said, putting a blanket over Red's lower half to cover his private area. "Besides, Red and I already decided. Her name is Sapphira. Sapphira Lynn. It's an Irken-Israeli name so she fits with both human and Irken race. She really meets to her name's standards with those big, blue eyes."

"Sapphira? . . . Sounds exotic. Wasn't she a lady in the Bible who died randomly for sinning along with her husband?" ZIM asked.

"Yes . . . We still like the name, though." Red said, not taking his eyes off his daughter. "It means, jewel, ya know?" Tenn and Zee crowded around him too.

"A lovely and elegant name. Something tells me Les picked it out." Tenn said. Leslie smiled and nodded.

"Red wanted to name her 'Mini-Red'. I couldn't let that happen." Leslie chuckled. She then looked at Purple, who was now sitting up right. The studio nurse checking him out to see if he was alright.

"Couldn't handle the sight of my vagina?" Red asked. Purple was deathly pale. He gazed at Red then at the smeet and gagged, turning around and dry heaving. Red rolled his eyes. "What a great uncle you are."

"While you wait for the ambo, why don't we let the others see her?" Zee suggested. Red grinned.

"Sure." He said.

"We're gonna move you to the couch first. Okay, sweets?" Leslie said. He nodded, snuggling the smeet to his face. She was sleeping peacefully. He handed his smeet to Leslie then was helped up by Purple and Zee. They put him on the couch that they pushed closer to him so he didn't have to walk. They made sure a towel was wrapped around his bare bottom. He sat on the sofa, very sore yet.

"Uuhhh. I feel so light." He said, tiredly. Leslie sat next to Red, giving Sapphira back to him. ZIM smiled then walked to the door where the crowd was waiting. He opened the double doors with a wide grin.

"You guys may see her now if you wish." ZIM announced. The toons and workers of the studio all beamed entering the room. ZIM spotted Gaz. She was actually smiling! The purple-haired girl ran up to ZIM and hugged him tightly. "Congratulations! You're now a big sister!" Gaz laughed, happily. ZIM brought her to her mom so she could see her little sister. Gaz looked down at the face of the smeet.

"She's gorgeous, mom." Gaz said to Leslie. She sat on her mother's lap. ZIM took a spot on the couch as well. A line formed for all the people to give their congrats to the couple before going on their merry way. It wasn't long before the ambulance would arrive and whisk both Red and Sapphira away to the hospital to do any necessary tests. Before they left however, Red leaned over to his beloved wife and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you, Les." He whispered.

"For what, sweetie?"

"For preventing me from making a big mistake." Leslie kissed him back.

"No problem, Red." She said. "I love you."

"I love you too, babe."

May 31, 2001

"Red has been sleeping all day. Can you go wake him? He'll never get to sleep tonight." Leslie asked ZIM. The boy nodded.

"I'll be right back, Dib." ZIM said to his friend before leaving the table and going upstairs to his brother's room. ZIM opened the door to the room, peaking inside. Red was finally catching up on some much needed rest. ZIM made his way to the edge of the bed and saw Red sleeping soundly. Sapphira was cuddled up along side him. ZIM put a hand on Red's shoulder. The man cracked open an eye. "Les said you should wake up. It's two in the after noon." ZIM pointed out. Red yawned looking from his brother to his newborn daughter.

"I'll be down in a few minutes. Will you take Saph and feed her?" ZIM nodded picking up the smeet and cradling her in his arms. "Careful with her." ZIM left the room, carrying his niece down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Aww, How's my lovely baby today?" Leslie cooed when she saw Sapphira.

"I'm great!" ZIM chirped. Leslie rolled her eyes taking the smeet from him.

"I'll feed her. You and Dib can continue to play or whatever." ZIM sat again by the table.

"She sure is cute." Dib said about Sapphira. ZIM nodded.

"Just like her uncle."

"You are so full of yourself." Dib said, never taking his eyes off the newborn. "Did she have her surgery?"

"She did. Her spina bifida is mild but she still runs the risk of not being able to walk. They also found out she may have mental disabilities. But they can't diagnose her until she's old enough to be tested." Leslie said. "The doctors said she's not in good health. Red was right when he said the smeet would be sickly." ZIM's antenna wilted.

"Also like her uncle." He muttered. Leslie nuzzled her daughter lovingly.

"Is Red coming down?"

"Yeah, in a few minutes." ZIM said.

"How is Red doing?" Dib asked.

"He's a bit sore between the legs, but his back doesn't hurt anymore." Leslie said. "Soon he'll be able to work out and shed the pounds he's gained off." She put a bottle full of formula into the microwave to nuke it.

"May I hold her?" Dib asked. Leslie smiled at the boy.

"Sure." Leslie carefully put the smeet into Dib's arms. The boy's face lit up as he looked at the sleeping child's face. As soon as she was safely in Dib's arms, Sapphira opened her eyes. Dib was scared for a moment that she would start crying now that she wasn't by her father's side. To his surprise she made no sound. The smeet made a tiny squeaking noise, reaching her tiny hands up to Dib's face. The boy looked at Leslie.

"If you ever need a babysitter, I'm always free." He said, jokingly. Leslie chuckled.

"Thanks for the offer, Dillon." Leslie said. Red entered the kitchen wearing only solid, dark blue pajama pants. He looked groggy as he sat by the table. "You hungry, sweetie?" Red shook his head.

"This is the first time in awhile when I didn't have weird cravings." Red looked at Sapphira in Dib's arms. "You stinker, you were very premature." The infant made a gurgling noise, reaching for her dad. "No, I don't want to hold you." The smeet insisted, whining until she got her way. "Nope. Not gonna hold you." Sapphira started to tear up.

"Red, don't be an ass." Leslie scowled. Red grinned and took the balling smeet. Her crying soon resorted to nothing but soft breathing.

"I've been curious. How is Sapphira alike and different from humans?" Dib asked.

"She has mostly Irken genes as we found out. She'll have acute hearing and sense of smell like her father. Her tongue is like an Irken's. Her skin is more green than white. Like all Irkens she doesn't have a need to excrete herself. No need for diapers and changing her." Leslie said.

"And the infamous potty training that you told me all about." Red mumbled.

"She won't sweat and she won't have any natural body odor also like the Irkens."

"Irkens don't emit any odor?" Dib asked. "Is that why I can never smell ZIM after workouts?"

"Why are you smelling me?" ZIM asked in shock.

"Well it's not that . . . Like you're always complaining that you can smell us-"

"Freak."

"Obviously she doesn't have ears or a nose but she does have a pale-ish skin tone and chestnut-red-colored, wavy hair. She got that from her mommy." Leslie said proudly.

"Hopefully she doesn't develop her mom's weight." Red snickered. Leslie narrowed her eyes at him.

"Stop being an asshole!" Leslie shouted. "I'm not fat! I'm just . . . overweight." Leslie crossed her arms glaring at Red.

"I never called you fat. You have some chub and that's cute." Red said with a sly smile. Leslie growled getting ready to slap him. "Don't hit me! I'm armed!" Red put Sapphira in front of him to protect him.

"Don't use our daughter as a shield!" Leslie yelled. ZIM and Dib watched amused as the couple bickered.

"I love watching them fight." ZIM whispered to Dib.

"Me too." He agreed. Red grunted when Leslie laid a good smack to the back of his head.

"Ow! Shit!" Red rubbed the back of his head. Sapphira eyes went wide looking at Red. "Saph, she hurt daddy." Red pouted, pretending to cry. Sapphira immediately started to sob. Squealing with sadness for her 'hurt' father. Red chuckled.

"Ugh. You are such a moron." Leslie said. She thrust the bottle full of formula in Red's hand. "Feed her. Test it first." Red squished the milk on his wrist to check the temperature then stuck the nipple of the bottle into the smeet's mouth.

"Whoa! Does she have teeth already?" Dib asked.

"Irkens are born with a full set of teeth." ZIM stated as if it were an obvious fact.

"I did not know that."

"There's a lot of things you don't know, Dib." ZIM said.

"I guess so." He mumbled. Red stood from his seat holding the smeet and walking across the kitchen to his wife. He handed Sapphira to Leslie.

"I need to do something." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been doing nothing but laying around for the past few months. I need to go somewhere and do stuff." Red said.

"Oh no." Leslie warned. "No, no, no. You just had a smeet. You're not supposed to be up and about. You just birthed two days ago."

"I'm not gonna do anything strenuous. My crotch stills hurts. I'm just gonna drive somewhere, then walk around, then drive again . . . or something just as exciting." Red muttered. "Oh! Maybe I could go clubbin'! I haven't drank in awhile."

"Just stay home. You're on bed rest." Leslie said. "You can start working out again in a few weeks." Red frowned. He pointed to his stomach.

"Look at this!" He said. "I'm still fat! I have this massive pudge right in my midsection! That's not sexy!" Leslie's eyes wandered to his torso.

"Red, I can barely see the remaining fat. Look," Leslie her finger on his ribs. "You still have your four pack abs. That's sexy." Red wrinkled his nose in disgust of himself.

"I used to have a six pack." He growled. Red pointed an accusing finger at Sapphira. "You! You ruined daddy's body! Now I have to get surgery done to remove the stretch marks you've given me and I have to work out until I get my six pack again." The infant chortled, cutely, reaching for her dad. "Daaaw! I can't stay mad at you!" Red took his smeet back from Leslie. "I wov chuuu soooo muuuuch!" He drawled, pressing his face to his daughter's. Leslie rolled her eyes.

"Most bipolar father I've ever seen."

June 2, 2001

"Augh! It feels so good to be home!" ZIM exclaimed, barging through the door of their Western Australia home. "I hated L.A.!" The camera crew for the reality T.V. show followed him in. ZIM turned to speak to them in Irken. "I'm not showing you guys around so you go ahead and wander the house yourself." ZIM told the crew. "Don't let me catch you leaving with any of our belongings though."

"Don't worry about it. If anyone takes anything their fired." Kugar said.

"Thank you." ZIM noticed Red holding Sapphira walking into the den.

"Speaking of our belongings, this will all be out of this house by the next semester. We're movin'." Red told him.

"You can't be serious." ZIM groaned. "Why?"

"Too close to the city. So we're movin' closer to the rellies in Kununurra. We're gonna build a new home quarter of a mile away from the ranch I grew up on." Red said.

"But we're already buildin' a new home on Irk." ZIM said.

"I want to go back to where I use to live." Red shrugged. "Besides, nana, papa and the lot haven't seen Saph yet."

"Ugh! Moving sounds like work!" ZIM complained.

"Thought you'd be more stoked about this. I can hire people to do the work, ya lil whiner. But you do not get a say in where we live." ZIM crossed his arms. The camera crew was capturing their whole conversation on tape. Of course they'd need a translation because they were speaking English.

A shrill cry was heard coming from the room over. Red sighed. Leslie came into the living room with the smeet.

"She hates me." Leslie said, passing the smeet over to her husband. "It's like you two have a connection or something." Red pressed his forehead to his daughter's.

"Father's intuitive." He said. "If we're not connected after she's spent six months living in my spooch by now, then we have a problem here." The smeets crying ceased quickly when Red whispered to her in Irken, foreheads still touching. "Hush, child. Daddy's here. Shh, shh. Good girl." Red kissed her cheek. Her big cyan eyes looking up at him. Red smiled down at her with love. Red put two fingers on her pale green cheek. ZIM narrowed his eyes at the man.

"What a softie." The boy got up to leave for the outside. He exited the house with two cameramen following after him. ZIM sat in the front stoop enjoying the day. Looking around him, out to the desert-like land in front of their house. The Irken started to hum to himself a song that he's been working on recently.

"You're lucky to live on such a beautiful planet." One man said.

"I am. But ya know, Irk is just as, if not more, beautiful than earth." ZIM said. He felt something crawl over his foot. Not bothering to look, he reached down to swat whatever it was away, thinking it was only a gecko.

"Master Macale, you have a creature sniffing you out." The same man said. ZIM looked down when the scaly 'creature' started to coil itself around ZIM's ankle. The boy gasped in horror at the sight.

"Oh my Yahweh! A snake! A big mothafuckin' snake!" ZIM kicked the reptile off then ran into the house. Moments later he came back out with a sledge hammer from the garage. "Die bitch!" ZIM slammed the heavy end of the hammer down on the head of the snake, making it's skull burst and it's insides spilling out. The snake was killed instantly, but the body continued to thrash widely. "Gah!" ZIM brought the hammer down on the animal again. This time severing the spine. The snake stopped moving finally. ZIM released a shaky breath, staring at what he had just done. A minute passed. His heart still beating rapidly from the scare. "Those things make me wanna cry. They're everywhere." ZIM turned around after a few more seconds and noticed everyone who resided with him was staring at him as if he were some mad man. ZIM pointed a thumb at the bloody mess behind him. "Snake."

Next Morning

"Zeiden," ZIM cracked open an eye. Tak was hovering over him.

"Takayla, it's four A.M. What could you possibly want?" ZIM asked.

"I want to know how you remain asleep with all this racket." Tak said. "Just listen to them. So loud." ZIM sat up in his bed, perking his antenna. All he heard was the kookaburra.

"The kookaburra is always happy." ZIM smiled. "Constantly laughing. I love the sound. It actually helps me sleep." ZIM laid back again. "Lay by me." ZIM said. Tak hopped in his bed and took a spot next to him, resting her head on his pillow. "As their mornings are full of laughter, mine are full of restful sleep." ZIM said, closing his eyes. His antenna soaking in the sound of the bird. "This sound used to annoy me. But then I've been living in the city with sirens and gunfire. I really missed waking up to this in the morning."

"Hmm." Tak thought. "Guess it's things like this that makes you enjoy the little things in life." ZIM nodded. Tak grinned, leaning over ZIM to kiss him. "Zeiden,"

"Yeah?" ZIM asked, paying full attention to whatever she had to say. She only ever used his full name when she wanted to say something important.

"I love you so much." She said. "I think we've been dating long enough for me to realize that." ZIM opened his eyes to look into her's. He wondered where she was going with this. "We're both of age to marry. You just had your Bar Mitzvah so now in Irken-Messianic Jewish law you're a man." ZIM's heart skipped a beat. Was she proposing to him? "I know that neither of our higher authorities will let us marry yet but . . . I need to marry you." ZIM was shocked. Both flattered and unsure.

"T-Takayla, I-I don't know what to say. It's . . . I'm thirteen." ZIM stopped for a moment to collect his thoughts.

"Irk used to wed couples as young as ten."

"That was a century ago." ZIM stated. "Things have changed since then." Tak looked like she could burst into tears. He knew that it took her a lot of guts to say that. There was just no way he could break her heart. Not now. ZIM had to pull himself together. There was honestly no other girl he'd rather date or kiss than Tak. Just the thought of kissing another girl didn't feel right to him. But he was so young. They were so young. Why did she insist on marrying now? Did she have a trust issues with him? That if she didn't marry him now that he may leave her? ZIM had to admit. She had a good point. If that was her point in wanting to wed. "I . . . I will marry you." ZIM said accepting the proposal. He couldn't believe what he had just committed to. He really should have thought more about it. Maybe it didn't matter. Maybe Tak meant to propose to him now but they'd get married years in the future.

"Thank you, Zeiden." Tak whispered to him. "Thank you so much." Tak crawled over him. She cupped his face with her hands and kissed him deeply.

"Why, Tak?" He asked, separating from the kiss. "Why so young?"

"I don't know. Our relationship . . . It just feels so right. As if we were predestined to be together. Words cannot express how I've always felt towards you. Every time we fight and make up it seems like we realize more and more how much we complete each other. I felt as if . . . maybe if we officially tied the knot that last empty void in our lives will be filled." ZIM looked at her violet eyes, mesmerized at her words.

"Maybe you're right." He said. It still felt weird to commit at such a young age. In today's society marrying this young was just . . . something Hindus seemed to do. ZIM put a hand behind her head and pulled her back down to his lips for yet another loving kiss. "This must stay secret, Takayla. If anyone finds out, specifically my brother, they will not let us be alone."

"I understand, ZIM. It can be private. And when we feel like we're ready to tell them we can have another wedding for the family and friends to renew our vows." ZIM nodded.

"I . . . I hope we know what we're getting ourselves into." Tak rested her forehead on his.

"We're in love, ZIM. It's as simple as that."

June 5, 2001

ZIM groaned face down in his pillow when he heard his room's door open. Footsteps approached his bed then a weight made the edge of the bed sink down slightly. ZIM's muscles tensed when the intruders hand rest on him and slipped a hand up his shirt and rubbed his lower back.

"I had to sneak in here. Red told me that you were grounded for the rest of the day." Came Tak's voice. ZIM grunted in response. "What happened? What did you do?"

"I . . . Uh . . . swore at him. Called him an asshole." ZIM told her.

"Why? What'd he do to piss you off?"

"We just got into a stupid argument about my health."

"I see." She drawled. "You've been having more issues lately with asthma or your epilepsy?" ZIM sucked in his breath.

"I had an absent seizure just two hours ago." ZIM said. "Then Red told me to take some sort of injected medication which I refused. I hate needles."

"Aww, sweetie." Tak cooed. "And that's when you started fighting?"

"No. We started fighting when he forcefully jabbed me with the syringe. Damn, idiot. It hurt." ZIM mumbled.

"He's doing it for your own good." Tak said.

"Yes, well, when we get married I'll thank the lord he can't force me into anything anymore." ZIM said.

"Yes. Then it'll be my job." Tak said. "'Cuz when we get married, I'll be in charge." ZIM furrowed his brows. Tak just smirked.

"Let's face it, ZIM. With all your medical conditions, you're not even allowed to be independent. You'll always need a guardian."

"Huh! You act as if you own my ass."

"Because I do, Zeiden." Tak said, confidently. "You're all mine and I don't have to share with anyone once we get hitched."

"I thought I already was all yours." ZIM pulled down the neck of his shirt to reveal several hickies scattered about his skin. "These love bites prove it, no?" Tak smiled. She pressed her face into his neck, nuzzling it lovingly.

"Gotta make sure everyone knows what those marks on your neck and chest mean." Tak whispered. Her warm breath in his cool neck gave him chills. A shiver crawled up his spine. "This one is fading." She pointed to a dull, light green bite on his collarbone. She licked it with her tongue then closed her mouth around the skin and sucked it hard enough to re-break the blood vessels there. ZIM moaned at the feeling. Goosebumps covering his skin. Tak pulled away and admired her work on her boyfriend. "Perfect." ZIM grinned, leaning forward and giving her lips a quick kiss.

"You should go now. Before Red knows you're in here." Tak kissed his cheek.

"Alright, babe." She said. "I'll be back for you, though."

June 6, 2001

"We're going to Kununurra today to visit the family." Red reported to his siblings. "We're flying. It should only take like three hours."

"Why are we going there?" Tenn asked.

"We're gonna scope the area for any land up for sale by the ranch we used to live on. If we find property that's suitable for us we'll purchase it and build a new home."

"Is this home gonna be permanent? Because you seem to like to move a lot." Leslie asked.

"Yeah, I think we'll have a permanent home there." Red said. "We're going back to where we started, isn't that exciting?" He asked his siblings.

"It sure is." Tenn said. Zim scoffed.

"Speak for yourself. I started in Darwin."

"You only started there because dad was deployed from Darwin two weeks earlier." Zee said.

"Either way, I still started in Darwin." ZIM said. "When are we leaving and why did you give us such a late notice?"

"We're leaving in an hour in a single engine aircraft. We're only staying there for two nights." Red said.

"Can't we keep this home? We just built it." ZIM said. "And they don't have very good surfing in Kununurra."

"Is that all you think about whenever we move somewhere new? Is the surfing good? What about, is this a safe community? Or is the crime rate low?" Zee asked. ZIM shrugged.

"I like surfing." ZIM said. "And I like having a home on the beach front."

"There is a huge area by the sea that's up for sale. It's only about ten minutes away from town. And it's very private." Red said. "I was figuring on searching there first. If it's no good for building we'll have a home next to the ranch." ZIM pouted. "Get over it, Z. We already have beach houses in Los Angeles, Mears, and soon to have one on Irk as well."

"But- we always- I . . . Awww!" ZIM whined, knowing he lost.

"Besides, there are massive amounts of box jellyfish in those waters up there." Red pointed out.

"So? There's Great Whites here and you still let me surf!"

"And there's saltwater crocs there."

"I have a pet croc." ZIM pointed out.

"Sea urchins, sharp coral, crown of thorns starfish, tiger sharks, blue ringed octopus, stingrays, barracudas, eels, spiny pufferfish, and worst of all, ZIM, sea snakes."

ZIM shuddered at the mention of them. He's come into contact with one while wakeboarding one day. He lost his grip on the handle of the wakeboard rope so he was floating until Red made his way back around with the speed boat. However, as he was waiting a curious sea snake seemed to coil itself around ZIM's exposed torso. This of course threw him into frenzy of panic. Thank God he wasn't bitten. Their venom tends to be more toxic than land snakes. In fact, looking back on it now, ZIM was extremely lucky considering he was thrashing trying to get the snake off.

"Well . . . If my hero Steve Irwin isn't afraid any of those creatures, why should I be?"

"Because you're a wimp compared to Steve." Red said. ZIM frowned as his family around chuckled and agreed with Red.

"Okay if you guys are going to be mean to me then I'm not giving you the pleasantry of joining you on your traveling to Kanunurra."

Five hours Later

"Stop scowling, ZIM. You know you're not allowed to be left home alone." Red said, handing a duffel bag to ZIM who was waiting outside the single engine plane, arms crossed. Tyson was beside ZIM nudging his master as if pleading him to scratch his ears. They forced ZIM to go visit with the family. Now they were in Kanunurra and just about to take off to the ranch as soon as they got all their luggage loaded into their rental vehicles.

"You called me a wimp." ZIM pouted. Red rolled his eyes.

"You're such a smeet."

"I'm not a smeet!" ZIM stomped his foot. Red's eyes widened.

"Did I just see a small temper tantrum?" Red chuckled as ZIM went into a hissy fit, ranting about how rude Red could be to him. "Okay, even you got to admit that you're acting like a smeet." ZIM's face twisted in anger. Tak came up from behind ZIM and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Come with me to the car before you blow." Tak said, pulling him away from his brother. She practically shoved ZIM into the vehicle the slid in after him. ZIM's dog also jumped in staying on the floor of the car. "You moody today?"

"No! I'm fine!" ZIM snapped. Tak furrowed her brows.

"Don't yell at me like that, Zeiden Macale." She warned. ZIM's antenna slicked back from both irritation and mild fright of Tak's harsh tone.

"Sorry." ZIM mumbled. Tak put an arm around him.

"It's fine, babe." Tak pulled him closer to her. She let him lay his head on her shoulder. Gaz opened the other door to the back of the car and got in sitting next to ZIM. She wrinkled her nose briefly then turned her head away from the couple.

"Of course I have to be in the same car as the two love birds." She muttered. "Don't do any funny stuff while I'm back here with you two. I'm not in the mood to throw up right now."

Later

Red stepped out of the car he was driving and was welcomed by his extended family who all stopped what they were doing to greet him and the rest of the family. Red smiled when his nana gave him a warm hug. He bent down so he could be level with her.

"Red! How's my little dju?" She asked.

"I'm great, nana. How's the ranch holding up?" He asked.

"As successful as ever." Nana pointed out in the distance to all the fields and barns, milking parlors, animals, and huge, mansion-like, houses they owned. "Look at all our stockmen. We hired a few from the neighboring aboriginal clan. They really needed the jobs." Red nodded. The whole area brought back memories from his childhood. This massive hundred acre ranch was known world wide for being one of the wealthiest meat and dairy producing ranches in the world.

Red snapped out of his thoughts of nostalgia when he heard squealing coming inside the car. 'Shit!' He thought to himself. Red eyed his nana as she approached the car and peered inside. Her dark red eyes focussing on what was making the noise inside the car.

"Red, you have a smeet in your car." Nana opened the car door and unbuckled the smeet from her booster seat. The old Irken observed the smeet for a long moment. "Who is this, dju?" Red bit his lip. He totally forgot about telling his nana or the rest of his family. He knew that they never kept up with Irken news let alone Earthen news so they couldn't find out through the media.

"Ehm . . . Ummm . . . that's my daughter." He whispered, cowardly. Nana raised a brow, frowning at Red.

"Adopted?"

". . . Conceived."

"You birthed a smeet?" Nana's voice raised. Red looked down at his feet ashamed that he never told them. "Oh, you bloody dolt! Why if yer mother were here she'd be reeling yer ass out right in front of us all!" Nana switched her attention to the smeet in her arms. The aunts and uncles and a few cousins gathered around to see Sapphira. Leslie nudged Red hard in the side.

"You never told them you were pregnant?" Leslie hissed. Red pouted.

"I forgot to, okay?"

"How could you forget? God, your nana is right! You are a dolt!" Leslie huffed.

"Les, dear, she's got your eyes!" The elder woman exclaimed excitedly. "What's this little one's name? She's my first great grandchild and I don't even know her name yet!"

"Her name is Sapphira Lynn." Red said.

"How old is she?"

"Eight days. I birthed her at the studio." Red said. A few of his relatives gasped at the news.

"My goodness." One of his aunts muttered. "No drugs? Shit, I couldn't do that." Red shrugged.

"Huh! Back in my day, we would birth our smeets in the fields we were working and drop them off at the end of the rows!" One older aunt said.

"Let's not forget the time when I had Dural in the kitchen. No drugs." An uncle added as if trying ti prove his toughness. Red rolled his eyes, turning to ZIM.

"Our family is nuts." ZIM mumbled. Red nodded.

"Why don't you go place your stuff in the house I grew up in." Red said. ZIM didn't say anything. He slung his bag over his shoulder and carried it to one of the two story homes that all lined up side-by-side, Tyson following him in. Since the ranch was a family business all of the entire extended family lived next to each other on a huge lot right in front of the barns and fences and pastures. ZIM walked up the driveway of a tan, bricked, coastal-styled home. He threw the luggage in the grand room looking about him as he did so. Red told him that their cousin Dural and his wife has been the only one living in his old house. Despite the largeness of the house, this home only had four rooms. There wasn't gonna be enough rooms which meant Red would probably have Tenn and Zee stay at one of their other aunts and uncles homes next door.

ZIM made his way over to the edge of the grand room to look out to the backyard, what he saw was a simple courtyard but beyond that was a wide open, grassy, pasture full of bovine of all kinds. ZIM smirked. He loved cows. They were toward the top of his list of favorite animals. Tyson barked loudly at the animals outside. ZIM suddenly got an idea. He looked mischievously out the window to the cattle grazing in the fields. Quietly as possible, ZIM snuck over to the slider door and opened it, exiting the house to go out to the pasture. He walked some distance till he reached the fence then got on his stomach and army crawled under it to get to the other side.

"Come on, Ty." ZIM called to his dog. The Samoyed mimicked ZIM's actions and crawled under the barbed fence too. ZIM looked at the cows. They were pretty far out in the field but he'd catch one eventually. ZIM picked up his pace to the hoard of cows. There had to be fifty cows all crowded in one area of the field. ZIM found that odd considering that the whole field was available. Of course, cows did only travel in a heard. As the boy got closer he was able to scan the densest part of the bovine and find the one particular animal he was looking for. "Ah hah! Found him!" ZIM grinned, completely fearless of the beast pushing it's way from the center to the edge of the heard. A snotty golden ring hung from it's nose. The creature snorted, very territorial. It stepped closer to ZIM. The short boy stayed his ground, unfazed by the bulls challenge.

Tyson yipped at the beast. ZIM hushed his dog. The Irken kept eye contact with the animal for a long time. Waiting for the perfect opportune moment.

"Today . . . I become . . . a bull rider." With that said ZIM lunged at the animal faster than it could react. With one swift, fluid moment ZIM grabbed one of it's horns and swung himself up on the back of the bull. The massive animal stood still, barely effected by ZIM's bold move. "Wow, this is . . . easy . . . Red made it look so hard." ZIM felt the bull shift and start to walk. The cows followed him. ZIM decided to ride the bull until he figured out where it was going. He was getting closer to one of the barns. It was feeding time. The bull was getting some grain to eat. ZIM caught a glimpse of a few of his cousins and siblings at the edge of the fence walking to the same barn the bull ZIM was on was heading to. "Damn!" ZIM chirped. If they saw him on the bull they'd flip! ZIM was about to slip off but it was too late.

"Zeiden Macale Junior!" ZIM cursed mentally. He swallowed a lump in his throat, trying to play it cool.

"Yeah, what's up, bro?" ZIM gave Red a slight wave. His brother looked ticked.

"Get off that bull before you fall!" Red yelled.

"Better than getting bucked off!" ZIM retorted. Not a good thing to say. Red's features darkened further. The man climbed over the iron gate of the fenced in area and stalked toward the bull ZIM was on. The bull saw Red coming and started to walk the other way. Before the bull got a chance to dash away, Red snatched ZIM off it's back. "I don't see why I can't bull ride-Oof!" Red slung ZIM over his shoulder, keeping a firm grip around his little brother's knees. "You said it was dangerous. What I know from the experience I had just now, it wasn't dangerous at all. It was like riding a horse-Ouch!" ZIM cut himself off when a sharp, spank was delivered to his rear. "Okay! I'm sorry! Geez."

"I can't trust you alone, ever, can I?" Red grumbled, mostly to himself.

"Don't get what the big rip is. The bull didn't even try anything."

"Bulls are spontaneous, Zeiden. It could have bucked you off and pulverized you at any given moment." Red warned. "Trust me . . ." The older brother plopped ZIM down in the other side of the electric fence once they got to it. After ZIM was out of the pasture Red himself squeezed between the top and bottom wire.

"Red, since you're here why don't you and your friend go and fix the fence at the northern pasture. A heifer broke loose of it one day and has never been repaired." Nana told her grandson. Red groaned. He just got there and she was already putting him to work. Just like the old days.

"Nana, I just got here and that pasture is quarter a mile away-"

"You can take Maya and Dural's horses." Nana told him. "Has Purple ever ridden a horse?" Red turned his head to his right to the horse barn and saw what appeared to be Purple talking to a Clydesdale. Red's Papa was behind him watching Purple with an amused expression on his face.

"He's really good with animals." Red finally answered. Nana nodded.

"Go fix it." Nana grabbed ZIM's hand in her's. "I'll take care of this little anklebiter." ZIM gave his grandma a cheeky smile then walked away with her. Red sighed turning his attention back to the stalls. The man made his way to where his friend and Papa was.

"G'day, Pa. Pur, and I are gonna go and fix that fence northbound of here." The old man's face lit up.

"Thank ya, Red. I'd do it myself but I'm getting too old to do jack." Papa said. The man pointed to two stalls with identical brown Australian Brumbys. "Mack and Cole are already saddled up. Take 'em there." Red opened the gate of one stall and walked in by the horse. He grabbed the reins and led it out.

"You've ridden before, right Pur?" Purple nodded.

"You taught me the first time I came here with you."

"Right. That was also the same day we got lost on the trails, didn't we?" Red smirked. He put the toe of his boot in the stirrup and hoisted himself up, mounting the horse. Purple got the other horse out and did the same.

"Leslie's not gonna like seeing you on a horse. She told you no vigorous activities." Purple said.

"My mom started to ride again just four days after birthing Zee. I think I'm good." Red countered. "Besides, it's not like my horse is goin' to buck." Purple shrugged.

"You can never know." The two commanded their horses to canter. They led their horses out to a dirt pathway and headed north, up the dirt, utility road to the problem area. As they rode, Purple looked about him fascinated. "Still can't believe your family owns all this land. It's like this place they own is a whole other town." He was right. Every family in the extended family owned a large house up the dirt road they were cantering on. Ten houses, fifteen different types of barns, and many vast pastures with all sorts of animals. "I heard that you guys used to have to go all cowboy on these cattle and actually heard them with your horses to transport them from here to the downtown area."

"We still do that sometimes." Red said. "This farm is not just a farm. It kind of doubles as a tourist attraction. This ranch gets over a million visitors a year from all over. It's five bucks per adult head, two bucks per child. They visit because we mostly do things the old fashion way despite the fact that we're multimillionaires and can afford to do it the easy way. But noooo, nana has to keep the tradition. It's Nana's way or the highway. Nana knows best-"

"It's sounds like you have a bit of a grudge against her." Purple pointed out. Red let out a breath of frustration.

"It's not that I have a grudge. She's the owner of the ranch after all. It's just that . . . she's been noticeably stricter since her daughter, my mother, died. Call it bitterness." Purple nodded, understandingly. Red pointed. "There. I see the break in the fence." Purple followed to where Red was pointing at with his eyes. Both top and lower wires of the fence were busted open and hanging loose. Surprisingly, there were still cows in the pasture. Red wondered why no one moved them to a different field. Red slid off the horse and opened the satchel bag on the saddle. He pulled out new wire for the fence. "Kay Pur. I need you to go to that corner post over there and turn off the fence while I put the new wire in."

"Okay," Purple got off his horse and went over to where Red instructed him to. He lifted the panel of the grey control box. "Which switch is it?" He called to Red. His friend groaned.

"The one that says, 'Power'." Purple narrowed his eyes.

"Oh, duh." He flipped the red switch off. "It's off!" Red immediately started to fix the fence. Purple went back to looking at the buttons and knobs on the panel. "Amps," He whispered to himself when his eyes noticed the knob labeled that. A meter below the knob read point zero fifteen amps. Purple twisted the knob to the left then to the right making the number of amps go up and down. Eventually the number got stuck on point zero twenty amps. Purple cocked a brow when the twist wouldn't move anymore. He shrugged it off then looked back at his friend. "You almost done?" Red grunted in response.

"Shit!" He cussed. "Cut myself on this barb."

"Don't do that. You'll hurt yourself." Red glared at Purple who grinned at him in return.

"No shit, dumbass." Purple put his hands up defensively.

"Whoa. Rude boy, here."

"Shut up." Red pulled the wire. The newly repaired fence now ready to do it's job. The old wire was at Red's feet. "Alright, turn 'er on." Purple flipped the switch on the box. As soon as he did he could here Red cry out in pain. Purple snapped his head in the direction of his brother.

"Fuck! Fuck! Help me!" Red shouted. He then suddenly went down, falling onto the electric fence pulsing with many amps. Purple ran over to him. As he got closer he noticed that the old wire was getting tangled around Red. It was touching the new one which gave him the first shock.

"God!" Purple squeaked. He grabbed Red's shirt then grunted when he felt a brutal shock. He looked at Red's face. His eyes shut tightly.

"G-get m-me out of h-here! Auuugh! Fuck!" Purple braced himself and took hold of both Red's arms and pulled him away from the fence getting shocked at the same time. Once Red was away from danger, Purple looked at his hands. They were tingling. Nothing major at all. Red on the other hand.

"Oh, fuck man!" Purple knelt by Red to examine his injuries. The wire burned through his clothes revealing burnt, bleeding skin. Lines of where the wire was streaked across Red's legs where the wire was wrapped around him. From his ankles up to his thighs. He even had a burn mark on his hands where he was holding the wire.

"God damn it!" Red cursed. "Why is the amplification up so high?" Purple's eyes widened and bit his lip.

"Uh . . . I don't know. Forever a mystery." Purple said with a spooky tone. Red moaned in pain. Purple offered a hand to help him up which he took gratefully. "Dude, your pants are ruined."

"Yeah I can see that. Don't tell Leslie what happened, okay? Her motherly instincts will kick in and she'll feel the need to baby and scold me."

"She's gonna find out anyway." Purple said. "She always does." Red sorely got on the horse again along with Purple and the two rode back to the stables, putting the horses back into their stalls. Red walked with Purple to their temporary home. Red opened the door Zee was standing in the foyer going out. When she saw her limping older brother she gasped.

"Red, what happened?" Red shushed her but it was too late. In the room over, nana and Leslie came to the scene to see what Zee was talking about. Leslie gasped when she saw her husband in his current state. His nana just rolled her eyes.

"Oh, this is just like when you were a child and you got your ass electrocuted on the fence by sitting on it like a dummy! C'mon dju. Let's get you cleaned up." His nana took his hand and led them to the den and laid him down on the couch. Leslie knelt beside the sofa looking at Red's wounds when his nana went to get a bowl of water and a towel.

"Oh, my poor baby, what happened?" She asked as she inspected his burnt hands.

"I don't even know." Red mumbled. Leslie pulled up his shirt to look for any more injury. Lucky there was none.

"Look at your legs! Your legs are burned too!" Nana came back with the water and towel. Leslie took it from her then knelt by him again. Leslie soaked the towel in the cold water then rung it out before pressing it to a wound on Red's thigh. He gasped.

"Don't! That hurts!" He slapped the white towel away.

"Red, don't be stupid! It needs to be cleaned!" Leslie dabbed his burns again. Red winced. His nana leaned over him, her eyes zeroing in on his chest where his button up shirt was unbuttoned and exposing his skin.

"Is that a tattoo?" She asked. Red looked at her and pulled his shirt together to hide it.

"Noooo." He drawled, pretending to be innocent. Nana ripped open the shirt to look again. Red pouted when her face grew irritated.

"Not only did you get a tattoo, but you lied to me too. Christ, dju, will you never grow up?"

"I'm sorry nana-"

"You better be. I thought now that you're married and have a child now you'd be more tame but nope, you're still reckless and mischievous as you were when you were a child." His nana scolded. "I'm gonna go look at that fence you just repaired. See if it's good enough."

"It should be, nana." Red grunted, sitting up. His grandma turned and left he home leaving him to his wife.

"Reckless child? She seems so nonchalant." Leslie said.

"Well as you know, I was always getting in trouble at school and around the ranch. My nana always referred to me as the troublemaker. My other cousins were such angels." Leslie chuckled.

"I'm assuming you spent most your childhood being punished." Red nodded.

"By either my teachers or my parents." Red smiled. "I remember a time, I was walking home from school with my bud, Lard Narr, when I saw one of my teachers drive by. Without really thinking I flipped him off."

"What? Why would you do that?" Leslie laughed.

"I don't know! It was just one of those unwarranted gestures. I don't know why I did it to this day." Red said. "Anyway, so the teacher saw that and he pulled off to the side of the road and got out of his car. At that point Lard Narr started cracking up and running away saying, 'You screwed up bad this time, mate!' and left me to face the wrath of my teacher on my own! What a jerk!"

"What did your teacher do?"

"He swatted my hand with a ruler he keep around then drove me home and told my parents."

"Wow. That was back in the day when corporal punishment wasn't banned from schools yet, huh?" Red shook his head.

"Nope. I always seemed to go home from school with bruises induced by my teachers." Red said. Leslie gave him an amused smile and went back to cleaning his abrasions and burns.

"I must say, seeing you now I would have never of guessed that you were a prick as a child."

"Hah, yeah."

"Were you popular?" Leslie asked. Red shrugged.

"Depends on your definition of 'popular'. If you mean well known in the school then, yes. I was after all, the only Irken that went to that school. My cousins were either home schooled or went to public school. I went to a very strict magnet school. Kanunurra Magnet School. I went there the longest because I was exceptionally good at science, the arts, and sports."

"You went to other schools too?" Leslie questioned.

"Throughout my entire schooling career I've been expelled four times." Red stated with a smirk. "I still remember of all those times. My parents sent me to bootcamp for a few months after my third expulsion. I was suspended thirty times, got around one hundred detentions and some form of corporal punishment every single day."

"Damn, Hun. When did you finally start learning your lessons?"

". . . I noticed an dramatic increase in good behavior from me as soon as my mom was diagnosed with cancer. That shit'll change ya." Red said.

"What kind of things would you do in class that for you in trouble?"

"Talk back, be cocky, instigate fights, be vulgar, drinking and smoking during class, doing donuts in the parking lot, swear, make rude gestures, vandalize, I'd talk all the time, not do my work, hit on girls. Got caught making out with several girls before and during classes . . . I was kind of a jack ass too. I'd pick on the people below me on the 'food chain', as you'd call it."

"I bet everyone hated you."

"Some did, most agreed and tagged along with my misconducts." Red said.

"Jesus, I hope our daughter inherits my good behavior." Leslie prayed. Red laughed.

"I will never send her to public school so you don't have to worry about that. She'll be home schooled." Red sat up.

"I have a question." Leslie said.

"Mm?"

"What does 'dju' mean? Your grandma keeps calling you that." Red smirked.

"It's the Irken-Aboriginal word grandparents use to describe their offspring's offspring. It means 'naughty boy'. The variant is 'naughty girl' or 'dja' in Irkenirakee, our tribes official dialect." Red said.

"Ah. Now it all makes sense. I thought it was an insult."

"It's not far from being an insult." Leslie poured some peroxide on the burns. Red clamped his jaw shut.

"Stings doesn't it? That's what you get for being stupid."

"This wasn't even my fault." Red said. "I didn't see the wire tangled around my legs."

"Your fault for failing to see that." Leslie grinned when she saw Red pout. She kissed his cheek. "I'm just kidding. You're not stupid. You're advanced." Red chuckled as she quoted the show.

"Damn right I am."

June 7, 2001

ZIM peaked in the closet of his brother's room where he grew up in. Nothing inside it besides a plastic box and a few old magazines. Curious, the exploring ZIM walked into the big closet to see what was in the box. He knelt by the steel thing and opened the lid. Peering inside he saw a bunch of organized papers and documents all in folders. ZIM browsed through the material until he saw something eye catching. A folder simply labeled, 'pictures'. ZIM pulled the folder out and opened it. Inside there were envelops. He took the first envelop he saw and opened it pulling out the glossy pictures inside. His eyes widened.

He never saw a picture of his brother when he was younger until now. On the back of the first picture he saw was Red's handwriting. It said, '1979'. ZIM flipped it back over and looked at the picture again. Red was ten in this shot. And he and ZIM looked almost exactly alike. What really shocked ZIM was to see just how short Red was when he was young. He had to be at least three foot tall. Red was next to a Vortian that ZIM knew as Lard Nar. A man he met at Red's wedding. They were the same height in the picture and they were in front of what looks to be a giant straw bale, smiling widely. Red with his signature 'dorky smile' that he uses to annoy people. Lard Nar with a nicer smile.

ZIM grinned. Red was going to hang out with Lard Nar today. Red often spoke of all the good times they've had together. They'd surf and wrangle all the time. But their most favorite pastime was hunting kangaroos and dear. Those pests often ate their crop. ZIM looked at all the pictures. A lot of Red and his sisters when they were younger having fun and goofing off. Pictures of Red in sports, lacrosse, water polo, bull riding, soccer, cricket, and . . . basketball. ZIM scoffed.

"I knew it!" ZIM hissed to himself. "He tells me he never played, but he did . . . I knew it." ZIM looked through the box again and pulled out a document. It was laminated and looked important so he was careful with it. ZIM inspected it thoroughly. It took him awhile to realize that it was a birth certificate. ZIM looked at the name and didn't recognize it except the last and part of the middle name. The name read, Kelly Eliasetto MaCale.

"What are you doing in here-" The owner of the voice started then gasped. ZIM turned around to see Red. The man briskly walked over to ZIM and snatched the paper from his hands. "What are you doing with this? This is confidential stuff!"

"It's a birth certificate, Red." ZIM rolled his eyes, standing up and reaching for the paper again. "It had a girl's name on it. I don't know who she is though but she has our last name . . . Only the weird thing about it is that they capitalized the 'C'." Red's cheeks burned a bright pink. "Who is she? A cousin of ours? A sister I never knew we had? An aunt?" Red's eyes narrowed at the boy, lips pursed tightly not very amused. ZIM was suddenly struck with realization. "Oooh . . ." The boy smiled evilly. "I see." ZIM walked past Red to leave the closet. "Sooo tell me, Kelly, does Leslie know your real name?"

"ZIM, that's not even my real name anymore. I got it legally changed when I was six-"

"It's your birth name though, and you can never change that." ZIM winked. Red sighed, exasperatedly, pressing his palm to his face.

"Listen here, lofty. I'm extremely embarrassed of that name, okay? So please don't go around telling people-" ZIM bolted out of the room, yelling as he did.

"Leslie! Guess what?" Red gasped then darted after ZIM.

"Zeiden! Don't you dare!" Red chased the boy down the steps and into the kitchen where his wife was talking to Red's cousin, Dural and his wife. Red was about to scream at ZIM, but ZIM already got Leslie's attention. Red jumped ZIM and picked the boy up. Slamming his hand over ZIM's mouth and quickly retreating into the living room. All the while, confused gazes were fixed upon the two crazy brothers.

"Red . . . What are you doing?" Leslie asked, following Red into the living room. ZIM was yelling something from underneath Red's hand.

"Nothing!" Red snapped. "Don't worry about it- Guh! You animal!" Red screeched when he felt ZIM's sharp canine teeth bite the flesh on his hand hard. As soon as ZIM's mouth was free, ZIM started speaking a mile a minute to get the words out before Red shut him up again.

"I was looking through his closet and I found a box with a bunch of documents and papers and pictures and stuff in it, all from Red's childhood and such! I found this birth certificate with an unfamiliar first name in it, and do you know what it said? I'll tell ya! It said, Kelly Eliasetto MaCale! That's my last name only the 'C' was capitalized for reasons unknown, but that's not the funny part! The funny part is Kelly used to be Red's name! Isn't that hilarious? What a dork!" ZIM laughed uproariously. Red growled then pushed ZIM brutally from behind. He was sent sprawling to the floor, still laughing, unfazed by the rude gesture. Red's cheeks grew pink again. Leslie just stared at him, awestruck.

"Kelly . . . Eliasetto?" She repeated the name. Red frowned, deeply, wanting to run before she too, made fun of him. "That used to be your name?"

"Well . . . my middle name still is Eliasetto . . . I just don't like how Italian it sounds so I shortened it." Red admitted. Leslie snorted then laughed with ZIM.

"My God! That is so cute!" Leslie chirped, cupping her husband's face and kissing him between the eyes. "Why didn't you keep that name? It's adorable!"

"Because his parents kept calling him Red." Dural said joining the group. Dural smirked at the distressed Red. "He looked like our great papa Red. A Jewish man who migrated from Damietta, Egypt because at that time, Egypt's government was shutting down all the synagogues. So for religious freedom he traveled to Port Elizabeth, South Africa then sailed across the sea settling here and helped our aboriginal great nana start up this boomin' business ranch. He was a great man and Red is proud to be named after him . . . That is, of course, after his parents changed his legal name."

"Thanks for the family history lesson." Red mumbled. "But that story doesn't matter because ZIM here couldn't just keep his damn mouth shut on what my original name was." Leslie cooed.

"Aww, don't be so sour." She pinched his cheek. "I think it's precious. Kelly is a unisex name. Mine is too." Red shook his head.

"ZIM what were you doing looking through my things anyway?" ZIM shrugged.

"Bored and wanted to explore a bit- Hey! Why was the 'C' in our surname capital?" Red plopped down on a seat in the room.

"It's always capital. We just never wrote it like that. Too lazy and too forgetful to capitalize it, I guess. Quite frankly, our family could care less on what we do with that 'C'." A knock came from the front door. "Go answer that, Dural?" The older cousin ruffled Red's antenna and went to get the door. Red brushed back his antenna as Leslie sat in his lap.

"I think I may just call you Kelly from now on." She teased.

"Please don't." Red whined. "Not even Tenn and Zee know about that name. If they find out then they'd give me a hard time too."

"Oh honey, I think it's Peder you have to worry about if you're concerned about having a hard time with the mocking of your name." Red shook his head.

"It's not my name." Red yelped when his head was suddenly tugged back by his antenna. He moaned in pain at the pounding hurt that now emitted from his hearing receptors. He pushed Leslie off and jumped up to face the fight instigator. "You jackass."

"Cool it, Red. You're always such a hot head." Lard Nar said.

"You mean, Kelly." ZIM corrected. The Vortian gave Red a sly grin.

"They found out about Kelly?" He asked, chuckling. Red punched his friend hard in the arm. "Ouch! Keep hitting me! I'll impale you with my horns!"

"Keep harassing me! I'll sic my little brother on you!" Red retorted. Lard Nar looked from Red to ZIM sitting on the floor.

"What's he gonna do?" The Vortian challenged. Red rolled his eyes.

"Git 'em, ZIM." The boy beamed running up to Lard Nar and embracing the tall man, talking as he did.

"This is Red's subtle way of saying he doesn't like you anymore so you should leave before you get annoyed! Chances are you're already annoyed that I'm hugging you without permission! That's called sexual harassment! I'm sexually harassing you! How does that make you feel? I could be put on the sex offenders list if you report me! But you wouldn't do that because at any possible chance, I know you'd sexually harass me too because I'm so damn sexy! C'mon! Admit it! You have a crush on a little Irken boy! Aww! What would yo' mama say? That's gross! You should be ashamed of yourself for pedophilia and unrequited affection, you rapist! Leave me now! Leave and tell your mama you like little boys and that you're going to leave your wife and go after the vulnerable thirteen year old Jewish boys!" Lard Nar didn't know what to say. He looked at Red pleadingly.

"Please . . . Make it stop." Red shook his head.

"This is what you get for your assholery."

Later

"Right then. Whoever wins this competition must buy lunch for us all." Red said. Lard Nar just smirked, confident in himself.

"Okay. Who's going to judge this surfing competition then?"

"ZIM and my sisters." Red waxed his board down as he spoke. "You can go first. Then I'll go. I'm a little rusty because I haven't surfed in a long time being pregnant and all."

"Mm. That's you're excuse." Lard Nar quipped.

"You try being pregnant once! It sucks!" Red snapped.

"Only Vortian women get pregnant, mate." Red didn't say anything. He just glared at his friend.

"Don't worry," Red finally said. "You'll look like you are in five to ten years from the way you drink beer." Lard Nar scowled at the subtle joke. Then without another word, he picked up his board and went to the edge of the water and started out to sea to catch a wave. Red watched him as he went out.

"There's a lot of cyclops waves out there." ZIM pointed out. "You sure it's safe to surf?"

"Zeiden, I rode a cyclops and even a huge pipeline before. I think I'll be fine."

"Yes but . . . cyclops are dangerous-"

"Just relax. Both Lard Nar and I will be fine. Now watch him. You're supposed to be judging."

"You yelled at me for surfing a cyclo-"

"Sush and watch him!" Red told ZIM. ZIM frowned, turning his attention back to Red's Vortian friend. Lard Nar was already out to where the waves at started to break. The Irkens on shore judged as Lard Nar stood up in his board and shred his wave. Doing impressive moves all the way and even managing to ride a wave like it was a half pipe.

"He's good." ZIM said. "But I could beat him any day."

"The point is for me to beat him ZIM. Not you." Red said, picking up his board and wading out to sea as Lard Nar came in.

"Good luck." The Vortian said to his friend as the passed each other.

"Sweetie, I don't need luck." Red teased, winking at his childhood friend.

...

"Okay, since my siblings suck at judging, we're going to do another competition." Red said.

"They don't suck at judging, Red. You're just ill tempered because you lost." Lard Nar said. ZIM only nodded. Purple was beside ZIM also agreeing. The rest of the family kept their distance sitting on bleachers outside of the caged in dirt arena at Red's family's ranch.

"Shut it. So this next one is one I'll surely not loose." Red said snootily. "Wrangling. Whoever wrangles their calf the fastest wins this round-"

"Hold it!" Red started at the call. He looked back to the bleachers where his family sat. Leslie was the one who spoke.

"Here's the deal, this is the last competition of the day. If Lard Nar wins, Red will buy lunch. If Red wins then it ends in a tie and ZIM gets to decide your fates if there is no victor in the end." ZIM beamed.

"Awesome!" ZIM squeaked. Red narrowed his eyes.

"Fine." Red grumbled. "We won't be tracking milliseconds for the wrangling." Red warned his friend. He walked to the pen where his calf and horse was. "When I give you my mark, open the gate and let the timer begin." Red hoped over the gate and mounted his horse, preparing his lasso. Red got ready for what was next. He gave Purple a curt nod. That was his sign to swing open the gate and let the calf run amuck the arena. Red made a kissing sound, digging his stirrups into the horses side, as he leaned forward. The horse immediately bolted after the calf. Red got his lasso and swung it over his head as the horse approached the calf. He threw the lasso's loop and it landed perfectly around the calf's neck. "Whoa!" The horse stopped abruptly, the rope pulling and the calf falling back from it's restraint. Red jumped off the horse as fast as he could and started to tie up the downed calf's limbs. Once the knots were secure, he stood up and lifted his felt cowboy hat off his head, waving it a bit to signal he was done. Tenn looked at the time.

"Fifteen seconds!" She told him. Red smirked. Lard Nar looked defeated already.

"What's the matter? Just get it done under fifteen seconds. That's all you have to do."

"Whatever, mate." Lard Nar walked over to the gate and mounted the other horse there. In the mean time Red cut the calf he roped free. He then climbed the gate and sat on top of it to watch the Vortian go through his run. The Irken laughed when his friend wasn't even able to lasso the calf. Red grinned. He had won. Leslie tsked from the bleachers.

"Such a shame." She said standing with the rest of the girls. "We're going home as ZIM decides what you two have to do."

"What? What do you mean? I won! We didn't tie." Red said. Leslie turned to him.

"You tied the competitions. Lard Nar won surfing, you won roping." Leslie said. She then pointed to ZIM. The boy looked like he already had an evil scheme in mind for the two men. "Good luck with whatever he gives you." Red bit his lip, warily eyeing his little brother.

"Whatever it is, ZIM . . . you better hope you can out run me."

...

Lard Nar covered himself up as best as he could, Red merely had his arms crossed and was glaring daggers at ZIM. The boy was cracking up.

"Oh my God! Leslie has to see this!" ZIM cried. Purple had an amused smile.

"You look good in her panties, Red." The other older Irken quipped. Red shifted his glare toward Purple.

"Shut. The fuck. Up." He hissed. Red couldn't believe it. Forced to put on a pair of his wife's bright pink, lacy lingerie and run around town wearing nothing but. Lard Nar was at least lucky to get to run around in stained tighty whities that they found at a thrift shop. "I'm not getting out of the truck." Red mumbled.

"You have to. You can't break a deal, mate!" ZIM urged him. "Leslie and the girls just showed up." ZIM pointed across the parking lot where they were in front of the town's library to Leslie's car. The girls got out and waited for the boys to emerge next. Red sighed exasperatedly.

"We're going to get arrested." Red whimpered. Lard Nar said nothing. A thick blush plastered his face. "Let's just get this over with." Red opened the door and slid out. He started flushing too when he saw the girls kneel over laughing. Leslie especially was amused. They were at a relatively deserted part of town for now, but soon they'd be walking down Main Street in nothing but under garbs. Red just hoped he didn't run into any family members while there. They wouldn't be too impressed. Red shuddered and without a word, started his walk around town. Lard Nar beside him.

"Dude, this is like the time when we were in high school and you got suspended for streaking across the school yard." Lard Nar said. Red frowned.

"I was dumb then . . . and now apparently." Red mumbled. "I was lucky not to be put on the sex offenders list for that."

"We'll be lucky if we don't get put on the sex offenders list for this." The two ducked down into an ally way and made their way to the other end of the ally. Everyone else followed behind them, watching as they were about to run down the streets of the busy streets of downtown Kununurra.

"You ready for this?" Red looked at his friend. Lard Nar nodded. Then, at the same time, the two buddies bolted from the ally way and ran down the busy side walks, grabbing the attention of the public as they did so. Red's family watched laughing all the while, being sure to get the whole ordeal on tape. Red smiled big, waving his arms wildly, acting shameless. Lard Nar was a bit more timid but nonetheless followed his friend's lead. Mother's gave them disgusted looks, covering their children's eyes as they ran about. The elderly just shook their heads at, 'today's generation'. And the teenagers hanging around pointed and laughed uproariously. Red shuddered at all the attention but continued to skip merrily down the street and sidewalk. Occasionally he'd do a stunt, jumping on a bus stop bench the flipping off it, swinging from decorative city tree branches and twirling about. Leslie and ZIM made sure to follow a short distance behind to watch. ZIM had his Imp out getting it all on video.

"Better run fast, Red! You're approaching city hall!" ZIM warned. Red groaned. He already saw a police officer standing outside the hall, leaning against the building. Lard Nar stopped dead in his tracks right in front of Red. The Irken went crashing right into his back.

"Why'd you stop?" Red asked. Lard Nar pointed to the cop.

"Isn't that Charity?" Red squinted in the sunlight to inspect the cop better from fifty feet away.

"Oh my God, it is."

"Who?" Leslie asked, still hanging back so people wouldn't think that she's with them.

"My ex girlfriend." Red grumbled. Lard Nar grinned.

"Mate . . . I dare you to hug her." Red scowled.

"What? No! Especially not like this!" Red snapped.

"Do it! I dared you, you gotta do it!" Lard Nar pushed Red toward the woman cop. Red stood frozen. He then sighed. He already embarrassed himself to the point his dignity would be forever dented. One little hug wouldn't make much of a difference. Red took off in a run, going straight towards the women. She was looking away when he got to her and threw his arms around her. The woman screamed, being caught off guard. Her elbow went flying back, catching Red right in the abdomen. She then turned around, pulling out her gun, aiming it then pulling the trigger. An electric shock coursed through Red's body. He yelped, crumpling to the concrete ground, shaking from the shock. Drool flowing from his mouth. He coughed, trying to choke out words but nothing but spit came out.

"Jesus!" The cop said, releasing the trigger. She knelt down beside the downed Irken and pulled out the electric conducting end from his chest where it hit him. Red laid twitching on the path. "Red, what the hell?" The officer yelled. Everyone rushed to the scene. ZIM and Leslie kneeling beside Red to check if he was alright. "What was he trying to do?" She asked, looking at Lard Nar. Her wide eyes drooped when he saw him. "Oooh. I see. You put him up to this, didn't you?" The Vortian smiled, sheepishly. The officer rolled her eyes, squatting by Red's side. "Still the dumbass I used to love, eh?" Red moaned in response. Leslie gawked at her.

"You shot my husband!" She exclaimed. The cop raised a brow.

"You married him?" She asked. "Damn, I never though he'd settle down enough for a wife." Leslie looked back down to Red. He was still shaking. "Uhh . . . I always knew he was a wildcard but . . . do you mind telling me why he was running around town wearing ladies underwear?"

"Well . . . You know what? You don't want to know." Leslie said, patting her groaning husband's head. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" Red opened his eyes, tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Snn, mmm, shheee huuurrrt meee." Red whined. "Th-this is the seconnnd sh-shock th-this week." Leslie shook her head.

"Yeah. You're fine." She helped him sit up straight. His being vibrated uncontrollably. He covered himself up as best as he could, now embarrassed beyond comprehension. "You two dated?"

"Yup. For a few months. That's usually how long any of his relationships last." She said. "Name's Charity, by the way. It's nice to see that Red has finally stuck with one woman . . . Unless of course he's cheating on you like he did me." She added bitterly. "Kinda feels good pulling my taser on him." Leslie couldn't help but chuckle.

"He cheated on you?"

"Yeah . . . with two other women." Charity shook her head. "He was the infamous player in our high school. Never went without a girlfriend. I was surprised that he kept his virginity up until his wedding night . . . right?" Leslie nodded. "You're lucky I didn't pepper spray you, Red."

"You tased me!" Red moaned from his sitting position on the ground.

"It's for self defense and to get idiots like you to behave." Charity said. Leslie smirked.

"Where can I buy one of those tasers?"

Later

Red was still jittery from the intense shock earlier. He sat in his chair at the restaurant -now fully clothed- shaking. His wife beside him soothing him as best as she could, running her hand up and down his back. What made matters worse, Leslie invited his ex to go out with them for lunch. Apparently Leslie was highly interested in how Red used to date when he was younger. It made him uncomfortable. His wife conversing with one of his exes. As far as Red was concerned, Charity was one of his worst breakups. When they did split, Red made a mental note to never ever cheat on another woman ever again . . . ever.

"That's when he told Mr. Ericson, 'You smell like a dirty twat'. Oh my God! You should've seen the look on Ericson's face when Red said that! Oh lord, Red's ass never felt the same after the smacking our teacher gave him . . . That was before we went out. I don't know why I agreed to after all his misdemeanors." Leslie laughed with Charity. Red sat sourly as his ex proceeded to tell yet another story about Red's high school life. "Ahh, yes. Red was infamous in our high school. He only stayed for about a year until he got expelled for . . . What did you get expelled for again, Red?" The Irken bowed his head looking at his lap.

"Kissing the principal." Red mumbled. Leslie gave Red and inquiring look.

"You kissed her?" She asked to be sure she heard correctly.

"I kiss him." Red corrected. "And I only did it because he said that I was kissing up to him! Then I said, 'No, this is kissing up to you!' and I gave him a nice kiss . . . on the lips. I meant well by it."

"Red you hated that man so much. You kissed him because you wanted to embarrass him . . . and you succeeded." Charity pointed out.

"What? So you just kissed people you didn't like?" Leslie asked. Red just scowled again. He turned his attention to ZIM sitting on his other side.

"I'm annoyed." Red mumbled.

"I'm enjoying your humiliation." ZIM said, happily. His eyes glued to Charity. "Damn, she's pretty. Do you have a thing for girls with reddish-brown hair and blue eyes because you dated a lot of girls with those features. Leslie and Charity included." Red cocked a brow.

"How many exes of mine have you met?" Red asked, lifting his coffee cup to his lips for a drink.

"Tenn showed me another on of your exes when you were running around downtown. She was at a shoppé. Red-brown hair and blue eyes, like I said. Tenn said that her name was Adelaide." Red choked in his coffee, dropping the mug on the table, spilling the contents everywhere in the process. ZIM looked shocked at Red's sudden fright.

"Sh-she didn't see me, right?" Red asked. ZIM rolled his eyes.

"Well of course she saw you. Everyone saw you running around downtown in just your wife's underwear. When you got tased, that created a big commotion. A lot of laughter too . . . Wait. Why do you care if your ex saw you or not?" Red got closer to ZIM's face, hissing at the younger Irken.

"Adelaide was a psychopath! We dated for about a month and the whole time I felt uncomfortable with her. She was and still is obsessed. I had to change my phone number because she kept calling. I caught her peaking through my window late at night when I was trying to sleep. Oh, oh! And once she walked into the bathing room when I was showering and just sat on the vanity until I came out!" Red shuddered. "If she saw me, she's probably stalking me right now." ZIM's eyes went wide, shifting left and right. He then pointed his thumb behind Red in an awkward manner.

"Umm . . ." ZIM gulped. Red looked behind him to see where ZIM was indicating. The man's jaw nearly dropped when he saw his ex sitting alone a few tables down, staring at him. Red made eye contact with the girl. Not wanting to be rude, he smiled sheepishly at her and gave her a slight wave. The woman beamed at this, jumping up from her table and coming over to where he was. Red turned around and started to pray silently.

"Oh Yahweh, deliver me from evil. God . . . What did I do to deserve this?"

"I think you may be over exaggerating. She doesn't seem that-"

"Reddy-kins!" Red nearly jumped through the roof when he felt two hands clamp done one both of his shoulders. This caught everyone's attention at the table. Leslie tilted her head curiously. Charity smirked at Red's ongoing misfortune.

"Adelaide! Haven't seen you in awhile." She said, then turned to Leslie to fill her in on why Red was shaking with terror by this girl. Red cleared his throat when he heard Lard Nar snicker to himself.

"Hey, Addy. It's nice to see you again." Red lied. "How long has it been? Twenty years?" The new woman chuckled.

"It hasn't been that long. I've been counting the days since we last seen each other. It's been fifteen and a half years since you left to live in Alice Springs!" The outgoing lady pulled up a chair alongside Red. "We have a lot to catch up on, Reddy. Over a decade of not seeing each other!" Red frowned. Then an idea sprung in his head. He then pulled Leslie, on his other side, closer to him to drop a subtle hint. "You've become famous on Irk, I hear! That's exciting! And you're on a show here on earth with your adorable little brother." ZIM looked up from the opposite side of the table, wondering why he was brought up in their conversation. "And . . . Heh heh . . . I heard you got married too. And have a kid?" Adelaide's face twisted in a angry way, but a fake smile still plastered her features.

"Right! Have you met my wife?" Leslie smiled warmly at Adelaide.

"Hello, there." She said, politely. Adelaide didn't say anything.

"No, I haven't met Leslie Strud. Or your daughter Sapphira either." Red furrowed a brow.

"How do you know their names?" Red asked. Adelaide looked at him funny.

"Reddy, I know everything about you and your family." She said, smiling even wider. It was creeping Red out to great extents. Red turned his head so it was pressed up against the side of Leslie's head.

"This is why I broke up with her."

That Night

"Never thought I'd meet two of your exes."

"Mmhmm."

"In the same day too."

"Mmhmm."

"And one of them tased you! Ya must've screw up real bad with her."

"Mmhmm."

"And the other is a total nutcase! Hah! She made my day!"

"Mmhmm."

"Ugh. You're not much of a conversation tonight."

"Mmhmm."

". . . Is that Adelaide peaking through our window?" Red sat straight up from his bed yelping.

"Augh! Where? Where is she?" Red looked around with bewilderment when he saw nothing. He glared at his wife who looked amused. "Les, that's not funny! That gal literally gave me nightmares for weeks after we broke up!" Leslie just cooed at his edgy state, running a hand down his shoulders to his lower back and keeping it there as he buried his face into his hands. "Today was an awful day. I almost got arrested! . . . Again. Faced public humiliation. I lost a surfing contest . . . and to Lard Nar! Of all people!" Red collapsed back down to his mattress. "And now, my front teeth hurt for no reason at all." Leslie laid next to him, resting her head on his bare chest and stroking his smooth skin with her hand.

"Aww, baby. You just need to sleep it off."

"I feel like Charity thinks I haven't grown up at all since I left this town."

"Why do you care what she thinks? You two obviously don't care for each other very much anymore . . . Especially since you cheated on her." Leslie said, not sounding very impressed at all. Red groaned.

"That was a one time thing. I felt awful after it."

"You better have. I can't believe how lousy of a boyfriend you were to all the girls you dated. How many more do you think I'll meet while I'm here?" Red covered his face with his hands.

"With my luck, all of them."

"How many is all of them?"

"I lost count after my twentieth girlfriend." Leslie pursed her lips, sitting up in their bed. She looked down at her husband. Red gazed at her. "What?"

"It's a miracle that you didn't loose your virginity up until we got married." Red grinned.

"Staying abstinent was something I could always be proud of." A shrill cry of a smeet rang in their ears. Red groaned, sitting up. "I'll get her." He said as he pulled himself out of bed. He climbed the stairs then walked down the hall until he got to the room where ZIM and his smeet shared. Red flicked on the lights, not surprised in the least to see that ZIM was sleeping through the wailing of the infant. Red walked over to the crib and picked up his daughter in his arms, cradling her up to him.

"What are you doing in here?" Red looked back, seeing ZIM rubbing his eyes.

"She's crying, deaf one." ZIM just grunted and got out of his bed, trudging from the room and down the hall for whatever reason. Red turned his attention back to Sapphira. Her little hands reaching up to his face. "Shh, child. Your daddy's here." Red whispered, planting a sweet kiss on her head. Red closed his eyes when he felt arms encircle his waist and a hand lean on his shoulder. His wife's voice serenaded his antenna.

"You have grown up since you left, Red."

---

Hey! What's the date this chapter was published? Hmm. March 27 . . . Gasp! You guys! Guess what? IT'S RED'S BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RED! YOU'D BE TURNING 44 THIS YEAR! . . . How exciting.

Long and eventful is two good words to describe this chapter. Let's see, what all happened. Hmmm, Well, ZIM died for thirty seconds and was clinically (still probably is) depressed in the aftermath. Red has his smeet! Daughter Sapphira! Everyone welkom her. (yaaay) They meet up with their extended family in Kununurra, Western Australia. (Yes. It's a real place.) Lard Nar finally gets a speaking role! We also discover Red was a total playa, unbeknownst to Leslie. . . . and he looks good in his wife's panties, apparently! Purple is forever silly. Dib is a caring friend and tries his hardest to please everyone. Gaz seems to never be mentioned, shame on me. And we all learned that Kelly is a pretty name for a boy. :P Oh, and what was with that whole, 'Let's get married' thing, Tak? You being for real? Guess we'll find out.

Thumbs up for Red getting an electrical shock twice within the same week! Whoo! He's on a role! Can we break that record now?

Question Time!

Who do you want to see more of in this story? Canon character wise, because, like I said, I hate OCs.

Fun Fact!

I have a lot of behind the scenes stories brewing in my mind right now. So updates may take longer now than necessary. But I promise, when I do upload these new stories, I almost guarantee satisfaction from my readers . . . hopefully.

Long live Purple and his disability to look at another grown man's crotch! (Odd note to end on. But I'm pleased with how long this chapter is.)

Mikki Warner Loves You!