Chapter 21

Seven Months Later….

Livvie loved to come here; this had been her "place" for the past five months. After her therapy sessions and classes she would come out here to sit and think with Pixie. At first it had been to get away from the people at the center, not it was to reflect and think. It gave her an inner peace, sitting on the cliffs looking out at the ocean. The name "Sunset Cliffs" was the perfect name for this place, the views and ambiance absolutely perfection in the beauty and peace it gave her.

She brought the letters that she received on a regular from home, Charming. Laughing over the group letters that Juice sent that always had notes from the other guys (smudged and scribbled) and his own stories. She felt encouragement from the letters and cards that Tara sent from her and Jax. Gemma's weekly cards and letters always expressed her and Clay's belief in Olivia's strength and intelligence.

Folding this week's letters and placing them back in the large envelope she kept them in and putting in back in her backpack. She thought about the one person that she had not heard from, the one that she wanted to hear from the most, Happy. There had been nothing from him, other than the first week. A box had arrived and inside it were the three SAMCRO shirts of his that she always had taken from him and slept him. The small note with them had said "These always looked better on you than me. Hap"

Livvie missed him, she missed the way that at night they would just lay in bed together. They way that they did not even need to talk, just laying together, the feeling of just being with him that made her safe and loved.

But that last fight, the one that had wrecked them both still range in her mind. Livvie understood now that back then she had not thought herself worthy of anyone's love or care for her. What she had gone thru had made her think that being hurt and suffering pain was that all she was worth.

Being here and participating in treatment had changed all of that. She knew that what had happened to her was not something that she had deserved or wanted. That nothing was wrong with her, which had wanted to be abused or hurt. The process of healing her mind and spirit had been hard and at times seemed almost unbearable. But she had eventually gotten to a good place with herself and had even found a way to forgive those that had hurt her. Remembering that session and the way that she had almost last it all made her shudder.

"Forgiving someone does not mean that you accept or approve of what they have done to you." Tamara explained to me, her voice gentle and full of compassion. "It is letting go of the control that their actions have over you now."

Tamara was the therapist that had helped her the most. Tamara had been abused her entire life until she was in her late teens by her Mother's boyfriend. Tamara was in her late thirties now and was helping others that had gone thru what she had.

Tomorrow Livvie would be graduating from the program; she had successfully met all of her goals. She had requested that her family come and witness her graduation and testimony. The only thing instruction that she had given them was that they could not wear the Reapers at the ceremony, due to the fact that she had never disclosed that her family was actually and ENTIRE MC of outlaw bikers.

She had written Jax and Tara of her plans for after graduation, knowing that she was going to need their help and support when she announced the plans to her Aunt and Uncle. Livvie was going to stay with Jax and Tara and take online classes for her basic college courses and work part time at St. Thomas as an Administrative Assistance.

She knew that Gemma had wanted to her to fully come back to the MC world, working in the office at the garage. Especially since Gemma had been in a car accident a few months before, but Livvie wanted something outside of that world. She loved that her family was the MC but a part of her needed to find something outside of that for her own. She was not Gemma who entire life was being an Old Lady, Livvie was more like Tara, who wanted to be an Old Lady but had a calling outside of that life.

Looking out at the ocean and the way the blue of it blended in the horizon with the blue of the sky she tried to imagine how Happy would react to seeing her. She hoped that he would give her the chance to explain and apologize for how she had treated him and give her a second chance. But she knew that she had no absolutes on having that ability with him. Happy had taken care of her, protected her, and even killed for her and all she had done was attack and treat him like shit. He had made her feel alive when she had been dead inside. She had only confided in Tara about her feelings on him and the response she had got was cryptic at best. Tara had not come out and said but from what had been said Happy had been on Runs almost constantly and she knew that at each clubhouse there was always a Sweetbutt to welcome a Son, especially one of Happy's status and reputation. But the way their last encounter had gone, in her mind she highly doubted that he even considered them anything. Livvie still could not get the look in his eyes when he grabbed her, the combination of anger and hurt. The memory of that lingered in her memory. Looking into his brown eyes, that were almost black with his feelings, she knew that she had overstepped the boundaries of what he would take from her.

Getting up and placing Pixie on the ground, so that they could walk back down the Cliffside to the centers campus. Livvie tried not to dwell on the past, because one thing that she had learned was that the past was something that you could not change. She moved slowly, taking in the sights of her retreat one last time. The way that the ocean breeze was cool as it blew across her skin, the smell tingled with salt from the ocean water. The way the Pacific seemed to glitter like a jewel, the way that the seagull called out in the distance, the feeling of the rock as she walked down the path, she wanted to remember everything.

Walking quickly thru the gates that separated the path entrance to the beachside cliffs and the campus, Livvie heard someone calling her name.

Looking up she noticed that Tamara was moving across the courtyard area, almost running. But what froze her in place was the sight of Jax and Chibs following behind Tamara.

The small petite blond woman was holding her facial expression calm, but the hitch in her tone told Livvie that something was wrong. "We have been looking for you!"

"I was on the cliffs where I go every day." Livvie told her. "What's happening?"

"We need to get you and go back to Charming, immediately." Jax told her, his voice full of authority and urgency.

Shaking her head because she did not understand, "We have the ceremony tomorrow, and everyone will be there then." Livvie said, confused.

"Plans have changed." Jax told her, his eyes cutting over to Tamara. Livvie understood at that moment, something had happened that could not be said in front of someone on the outside. "Sack and Juice are already packing and grabbing your stuff. I need you to change clothes and take Pixie to them."

"Okay." Livvie said nodding; she heard the need of her to hurry was clear from the look from Chibs and Jax's voice.

Turning to face Tamara, she smiled softly at the woman that had helped her. "Thank you for everything. You helped more than you can ever fathom or imagine. I will contact you soon. This is my family and I have to go."

Tamara pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. "Remember sweetheart that you are powerful and worthy of love and kindness. Don't let anyone treat you less than that."

Livvie smiled at the kind words and then turned back to Jax. She quickly made her way across the courtyard to the entrance of her building, with both men on her heels. They passed Sack coming down with a couple of boxes.

"I packed your laptop and books already." Juice told her the moment that they walked inside her small studio apartment. "We grabbed the suitcases that were already packed."

"I just need to change and throw a few things in a bag and we can go." Livvie told him, as she bent down and placed Pixie in the pink carrier.

"You are going on the bike with me. We are leaving with Chibs and some of the Nomads. The van is leaving with Sack driving, escorted by Juice, Hap, and Tig." Jax told her. "I need you to pull up your hair, so that the helmet covers it. There is a shirt and jacket on the bed I need you to put on."

"Why is this happening?" Livvie asked him. She tried to cover the shock of knowing that Happy was here.

"We are going into lockdown immediately, things are bad in Charming. The SONS have been attacked repeatedly by a white power group. Our women have been targeted and attacked. Juice hacked one of their computers and found pictures of you here on it. We can't risk you, I need you to hurry. I don't like that we are traveling at night with you."

Livvie nodded and hurried over the bed she grabbed the clothes that he told her about and a pair of her jeans that were there also. She went into the bathroom and changed into the jeans, white Teller-Morrow garage shirt and the zip up Reaper hoodie. What surprised her was the calm appearance of her reflection in the mirror as she brushed her hair up in a simply bun. She understood the situation and was maintaining her emotions, a positive from before.

Walking out the bathroom, she was surprised that Juice had a duffle bag open and ready for her to deposit the clothes she just took off into.

"Here put these on." Jax said handing her sunglasses over.

"Be careful." She told Juice and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"See ya in a few hours." Juice smiled at her, his eyes warm and soft brown like she remembered.

Jax took her hand and they walked out quickly with Chibs right behind. Things must be bad in Charming if they were on such high alert here with her. They quickly went down the flight of stairs and into the lobby.

That was when she saw him, her Happy. She was leaned against the receptionist's desk with a dark haired woman that was dressed like Livvie. The only difference was that the other woman's hair was cut short.

"She rode with me, so that when I left it would not be too noticeable that you were with me and not with the van entourage." Jax explained softly to her. "We need a decoy."

But Livvie did not respond her eyes locked with Happy's. She could not find the words to speak as Jax moved her over to the woman and him.

"Here Hon." The woman smiled at her and handed over a helmet.

Livvie accepted it and placed it on her head. She was fumbling with the straps when she suddenly felt his hands on her own. She looked up slowly.

"You never put this shit on right." He smiled down at her and fastened the straps securely.

"Thanks, Hap." She whispered, her vocal cords still seemed to have a hard time working since laying her eyes on him.

"Keep her safe." Happy turned his head and told Jax.

Then suddenly she was being pulled across the lobby and out the door. She wanted to jerk away from Jax and run back to Happy. She wanted to throw herself in his arms and beg for forgiveness and a second chance.

But with all the tension in each of the men, she needed to not react in her pervious ways from the past. She had to show them that she had changed and was not the broken, damaged, selfish hellcat from before.

Within a few minutes she was on the back of Jax's bike and on the road. Her heart with all of the ones left behind in the convoy that would appear to have her in it, and placing them in more danger.