I rewrote and restructured this particular chapter multiple time. It's quite intricate and I hope you'll like the result. As always thank you for your comments, especially since I can't reply to the guest ones in person. Please know that I greatly appreciate your kind words, and they motivate me a great deal! :)

Also this has nothing to do with writing, but I'm still in chock from the election results, like wow, I would have never expected it :(

I'll stop rambling now, so please go ahead and enjoy this chapter :)

(disclaimer: I own nothing)

21.

„A daisy, my dear. Isn't it beautiful." Kenna dangled the delicate flower in front of Anne's face, eliciting a wave of excited giggles from the baby's mouth.

Her daughter was squealing with joy, reaching out with her short hands and tried to grab the flower with her small fists, all the while kicking against Mary. Kenna's mouth was wide open, a bright grin in her eyes as she kept the white petaled flower just out of the baby's reach.

„She is so precious." Kenna gushed and Mary nodded her head in accordance.

Her lips were turned upwards in a content smile as well. Yes, Anne was the most precious thing and her love for her daughter was so pure and all encompassing. She could feel a surge of warmth enter her chest whenever her eyes would fall Anne's golden face, her blue eyes sparkling with joy. She would sometimes cry at night, of course all children did. But other than those rare outbursts she was always happy and content. Such a perfect baby, her perfect daughter and now that she was finally here in her arms, Mary couldn't even phantom how she had ever lived without her.

She had never imagines that a love for another person could bring her such joy and happiness, but Anne hat made her wiser. Until her, she had only ever loved one person as deeply and truly and all that that love had gotten her were misery and pain. It had destroyed a part of her, had made her heart cold and her dark eyes deprived of all joy. But that had changed, she had never dared to hope that the frozen part of her heart would ever warm up again, but it had. No matter how dire things looked, she could alway rely on the sweet child safely tugged in her arms to bring a true smile to her face.

Maybe it wasn't truly fair or right to say that her love for him had brought her nothing but hurt and misery. Yes, her heart had broken and there had been moments where the black nothingness of death had seemed like the better option, but after all their love had brought her this. All the strain and effort had been worth it, and if she had to choose she would do it all over again, a live without her daughter seemingly impossible now. She was the only part of him she had still left, a part that brought her joy and happiness, a part that had made her trust in love again.

It wasn't the same as loving him, it would never be, but it was good enough. And after all she had done, all the hurt she had caused the people around her, she hadn't thought she would be even deserving of this small piece of heaven. For now, just this one moment, her life was perfect, all her fears and worries far away.

The summer air was pleasantly warm around them and the grass so soft and pillowy. Mary had alway loved being outside, the fresh air and all the too often overlooked beauty around them. The birds were singing sweet songs in the lush green trees above their heads, and the fountain happily spewed a fine mist of water in the surrounding air. There were barely any clouds in the gloriously blue sky today and the sun's long finger warmed their skin.

Normally she had always preferred darker tones and colours when it came to her gowns and dresses but today was different. She felt so free and younger again, more like the innocent girl that had arrived from the convent almost a year ago. She thought it only befitting to chose a lighter garment today, a cream coloured bodice with soft rosy skirts and delicate golden embellishments around her collarbones and waist. She still enjoyed the freedom of dresses without the usual tight corsets, as her body was still not fully recovered from the birth and needed room to properly heal.

She felt beautiful today, a rare state for her normally always troubled and self conscious mind. She would enjoy it as long as it lasted, she silently promised herself.

„I wish it was always as warm and sunny in France." Kenna sighed, her eyes wide and dreamy.

„Yes, well it's still warmer than in Scotland, mind you." Mary chuckled lightly in response.

„I know, but still, it must be heavenly to live in the south. All the fresh fruit and the warm sea, good wine and looser etiquette." she gushed, her hand now absentmindedly twisting the flower between her fingers.

„Well, you can always find yourself a young and handsome southern lord to marry." she teased her friend.

Kenna returned her wicked smile with a smirk herself, laughing. It felt so incredibly good to have her friend back, to spend hours gossiping and gushing about dresses and new jewelry. They were just two young girls, not a care or worry in their pretty heads besides the questions which dress to choose for the next dance or dinner.

„I'am glad you're your old self again. I have missed you, Mary." Kenna picked a few more of the small white flowers around them, collecting them in her hand.

„I'm not sure if I'll ever bee my old self again, but I'm happy today. That is all that counts." she smiled, gently rocking the child in her lap.

It was true, she would most likely never find her way back to her old and carefree self again, too much had happened, too much tragedy had passed since then. But she was grateful for any moments without the constant worry and fear in the back of her mind, since they never lasted long. She was painfully aware that her present happy state wouldn't last either, it never did. Soon, maybe tomorrow, maybe in the next hour, her usual worries would return and she would once more be plagued by guilt and the uncertainty of her situation. But for now, all that was far away.

Kenna smiled at her, she probably knew too well how fragile her Queen's bonheur was. She started intertwining the thin stems of the daisies, combing them into a long chain.

In her lap, Anne was reaching out her arms again, her mouth forming a small o as her sparkling eyes caught a glimpse of a butterfly, gliding through the air around them.

„It's a butterfly, Anne." Mary pointed at the graceful insect. „It looks just like a flying flower, so many colours and shades."

Anne excitedly bobbed her head out, now both arms extended towards the butterfly. A small scream of joy escaped her tiny mouth, bits of spit flying in all directions.

„Shh shh, don't scare it away." Mary gently calmed her daughter excited arms, forcing her too still her sudden movements.

Anne obliged, letting her head fall back against her mothers chest, her eyes growing big with astonishment, as the small animal slowed and landed on her mothers extended finger. The butterfly flapped its wings one last time for balance, before folding them together, it's legs holding onto Mary's finger. The sensation tingled her hand and she dared not breath for fear of scaring the beautiful creature away. It was so graceful, the way it's tiny wings curved and the rich blue colour bled into a soft yellow at the bottom, ornamented with thin black lines.

Anne couldn't bare it any longer, letting loose another loud giggle and in turn sent the butterfly flying off Mary's finger in seconds. The animal turned in circles before shooting skywards and disappearing behind them.

Anne kicked her little feet, trying to turn in her mother's lap, and her laugh turned into a disappointed cry as the animal disappeared from her view. In hopes to calm the child's temper, Kenna extended a hand and placed a freshly plucked daisy in Anne's lap. Mary turned, angling her torso in the opposite direction to allow her daughter, who was now clutching the delicate flower, to look after the butterfly that had now settled on a gras holm a few feet away. Anne shook her hands and waved the flower at the butterfly. She was hitting Mary's arms and she could see the effort reddening her sweet puffy face.

„It's okay Anne, it's still here. See." she smiled, pointing at the colorful insect before them.

She contemplated moving, to get closer to the animal that fascinated the child in her lap so intently. But before she could even finish the thought, the butterfly suddenly shot away again. It had darted up in the sky escaping the steps approaching them.

An angry cry left Anne's puckered lips and her small brows furrowed with frustration. She threw the daisy after the animal, the disappointed red in her chubby face.

Before Mary could even think of a way to calm the angry child in her lap, a shadow darkened the grass around them. The person squatted before them, picking up the daisy, Anne had so viciously tossed away. She instinctively looked up and their eyes met for a brief moment, and her heart seemed to freeze in her chest in surprise.

Thankfully her friend reacted quicker beside her. Kenna instantly let go of the unfinished flower crown in her hands, rising at once to face the intruder, and block Mary from his view.

„You shouldn't be here." her voices suddenly sounded cold and hard as she looked at him challenging.

Mary, froze, suddenly grasping her daughter tighter in her arms as she instantly recognized the man before them. All the joy and carefreeness was gone at once as the familiar uncomfortable tight feeling in her chest returned. She could sense her heart beat quickening in her chest and a sudden feeling of panic set in. She couldn't move, her muscles were locked in place, unwilling to oblige any of her commands.

„You can't be seen here. Please, just leave." Kenna's tone grew louder, more insistent.

„I don't care." she could sense him move closer, as her head was still directed towards the grass unable to meet his eyes.

Only when she could feel Anne rebelling against her tight grasp, her little fists hitting her stomach, her body finally reacted. She shot up, clutching the baby against her chest, as to shield her from his view. The panic won over and she stumbled back a few steps.

It had been foolish, to bring her daughter out her in the open, of course he would take advantage. She couldn't allow him to see her, he wasn't stupid and would figure it out. She couldn't let him, if he knew, if he realized what she had been hiding from him, from them, all this time, it would surely anger him. There was no telling how he would react and she wouldn't put Anne in that danger. It was infidelity, treason against her husband and country and she would loose her head if it became public knowledge. No, no, she had to get away from him.

„Mary, please talk to me." He took another step towards her, ignoring the fear glimmering in her eyes.

He looked like his old self again, his soft hair combed and the stubble around his mouth was gone, leaving only smooth skin. His complexion looked healthy again and his eyes weren't reddened from tears, unlike that last time she had seen him so close, when he had hovered above her. It scared her even more, the way he looked like nothing had changed, so put together, the desperation and pleading gone from his crystal blue eyes.

It evoked so many emotions of all the things she longed to forget but could never quite let go. The way his eyes weren't looking at her with disappointment but with such a familiar warmth and adoration. He looked just like she remembered him, his charming old self. The golden curls glistening in the warm sun and the way he wore his shirt loose, not fully tied up in the front, only partially covered by his usual black doublet. He was truly handsome, and made her remember how she had fallen in love with him in the first place, they had been in the gardens back then as well. He was smiling at her, his eyes kind in an effort to calm her fear filled heart.

But she couldn't take it, it was all too much. The memories were too painful in her head and she continued stumbling backwards, but had to stop when she nearly tripped over the long seam of her own dress. She pressed the child against her chest, as Anne had started to cry again, screaming in her ears.

Kenna was right behind Francis and her eyes were determined, like a loyal dog protecting it's owner as she glared at him.

„She doesn't want you here." her tone was challenging him and her words lines with fire as she positioned herself between him and Mary, her arms placed on her hips.

But he didn't listen, seemingly indifferent to her words and simply pushed past her, his eyes still intently focused on Mary.

„Then she can tell me that herself." his voice sounded so calm and he didn't even look at Kenna, who just glared at him with incredulousness eyes, muttering something under her breath.

„Mary, I am not angry, just please say something." he reached his arm out towards her, his eyes now pleading with hers.

She didn't answer, she couldn't. Even if she had wanted too, the words were stuck in her throat and she simply continued to stare at him, the sight of his blazing blue eyes blurring any coherent thought.

„I don't care that you're married to my brother, I don't care that Anne isn't my child …" he carried on but the rest of his words were lost to her.

Now that he said it, that he had actually spoken her name out loud, she could feel a distinct jolt in her heart. ‚Anne', it was the name he had chosen for their child, never knowing that it actually carried that name now. She had nearly forgotten that conversation they had had in bed one night, months ago, arguing over child names. For some inexplicable reason she had instantly known her daughter's name, the moment the midwife had asked her. Now that she contemplated it, it seemed cruel and right at the same time. He must have probably thought her monstrous for giving the child, he didn't know to be his, the name he had chosen. When in truth, it was a way to give Anne a piece of her father, a way to compensate for the endless lies.

The child halted it's screaming in her arms as his words filled the air around them. Mary could feel her small body twisting against her chest, trying to turn towards the origin of the voice.

It shot through her like a sharp arrow, knocking all the air out of her lungs. She had been so lost in the memories, but he didn't know what he was saying. He was so oblivious as to his words' meaning. He would care, he would care that she was his daughter too and that she was keeping his child from him. He was open with her, he had always been honest, had never hid anything from her. But she had lied to him for months again and again, was still lying to him in this moment, her baby's blue eyes the undeniable proof.

She could feel her facade crumbling again as her body wanted nothing more than to accept his outstretched hand, to tell him that she too loved him and that it would all be okay. But it wouldn't, it wouldn't all be okay, she had made sure of that with the choices she had taken.

„Please stop." she could feel the hot tears in her eyes as her lips formed the words „I want you to leave, Francis."

He halted his advances and stared at her for a moment, unsure how to react. But when the pain and tears in her eyes registered in his mind, his mouth fell slightly open and his blue eyes grew sad. Anne started crying again, her skin bright red and her face contorted as if she too, could feel her parents' misery. She could see him swallow hard, forcing himself to mask the hurt and disappointment her words had caused him but his strong and charming facade was crumbling as well, only revealing glimpses of the broken heart beneath. He nodded his head before turning on his heals, without another look back.

Only when he had safely disappeared back inside the castle, she allowed herself to breath again and the effort made her mind dizzy. She could feel a tingling sensation in her stomach and tried to hide the sobs, now shaking her torso.

It was all one big mess, and she was clueless as to how to make things right again. The whole situation was too much and she was merely a helpless marionette, hopelessly exposed to destiny's cruel course.

„Mary, it's okay. He's gone now." Kenna was at her side again, gently stroking her arm in an effort to calm her. „I apologize, I should have never allowed him to get so close. I will be more careful next time, I promise." she looked at Mary with guilty eyes.

She just shook her eyes, this wasn't Kenna's fault and she wouldn't let her friend feel responsible for her own sinful actions.

„Should I take Anne, I can call for the wet nurse if you want." she offered her hands to take the wailing child from her Queen's arms.

But Mary refused, only holding onto Anne even tighter. She wasn't sure how to react, but the one thing she knew for sure, was that she couldn't let her daughter go now, she was the only safe thing in her world.

„Come" Kenna guided her back to their blanked, where the unfinished flower crown was still laying forgotten and gently helped her sit down again. „Does he scare you?"

Mary managed to shake her head. In some ways she was afraid what his actions might cost them both, if she let him get too close, but he didn't directly scare her. The panic that had overtaken her body just moment ago was not cause by any danger on his side but the sheer fear that he could find out.

„You must know he loves you. He would never hurt you or Anne." Kenna's hands were fidgeting with the daisy chain again.

„Of course, but …" how could she explain that there were things she couldn't tell him, couldn't share with even her closest friend?

„I know you feel like you have no one to trust. But please don't keep it all to yourself. You can tell me, I swear I wont share your words with anyone, you know I wouldn't." she was knotting together the two ends of the chain, finishing the flower crown.

She wiped the tear stains from her cheeks, slowly collecting herself again. Anne had mercifully stilled her crying in her arms and was now contently hustled against her chest, her tiny fist clutching the soft material of her dress.

„I can't. I know you won't understand, but there are things I can't say out loud. It would be too dangerous." she sounded pathetic and her excuses weak.

Kenna let out a sigh, clearly disappointed by her friend lack of trust. But she put on a brave smile and carefully arranged the daisies in a circle.

Mary's eyes followed her friends hands, and the memories the images sparked in her mind made her smile. She could hear laughter, the happy giggles of children rolling in the soft gras. He had always collected the flowers and had placed them into her lap with a proud smile on his young face. Then he would have patiently waited for her to finish braiding the flowers together and his eyes had shun with joy when she had placed the finished crown on his unruly curls, mirroring the one already on her own darker hair.

He had been the King and she his Queen in theses day, ruling over the bushes and flowers in their small kingdom between the paths of the gardens.

She smiled, and Kenna was visibly relieved to see her friend's mind at ease again.

„Her you go, little princess." she carefully placed the small circle of flowers on Anne's soft head, who opened her sleepy eyes.

Just like her father, she thought, and pressed a sweet kiss on her daughter's still rosy cheek.

Thank you so much for reading! Please, if you likes this chapter, comment and favorite :)