Renesmee & Jacob: Glowing Horizon

Chapter 20: Message

We followed Alice's decision, and went to Alaska. It wasn't surprising to find the Denali house empty, but it was still eerie and discomforting nonetheless.

At least I wasn't alone. I had Jacob with me, and I was able to avoid the cold air every night by cuddling into Jake's warm side. Plus, I talked to Alice almost every day on the phone. Sometimes for hours. It was such a relief to know that she was safe – that some part of my family was intact. I called Rose and Emmett too, every once in a while, but Alice could comfort me in ways no one else could. She would distract me by talking about clothes and numerous other things that kept my mind busy.

Overall, we were doing okay. Not perfect, but okay. I knew Jake was having a tough time dealing with the fact that two wolves were gone, and not knowing who they were. I also knew that part of him didn't want to know. We were frightened of the truth, afraid that it would tear apart our family forever.

Sometimes Jacob and I fought, fought over stupid things. We were both tense, waiting for any news. Some days were harder than others. One night in particular struck my memory.

I found Jacob staring intently at the engagement ring on my finger that night, which started the argument.

"Why are you staring at my ring?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. I knew what he would say next, but I didn't want to hear it. It felt like we'd had this argument a lot lately.

"Just wondering if I should've given it to you at all."

I flinched as if his words had burned me.

"What are you talking about? What's that supposed to mean?"

His voice got louder. "What are we going to do, Ness? Just let our lives…stop? How long is that ring going to sit there on your finger collecting dust?"

I gritted my teeth. "I already told you, Jake. I just can't. I can't go and get married without my dad walking me down the aisle. Without my mom being in the front row. Without Carlisle and Esme being there. It would still be the best day of my life, but it'd be like someone stained the memory. It wouldn't be right. Stop bringing this up. Please." I said sharply, turning away from him.

He jerked my arm, pulling me around so that I had to look at him.

"Look, Ness. I love them, too. It's not just you. But don't you…don't you think they would have wanted us to move on with our lives?" He asked.

I couldn't believe him. It was like he was giving up.

"Stop talking like they're already dead!" I screamed at him, and then I had locked myself in the bathroom for the next two hours.

He had begged me to come out over and over, and had apologized plenty of times too, but I ignored him. Not because I was angry, but because I was sad. Part of me was asking myself if he was right. I started to cry, and his pleading got worse, more urgent. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. He didn't try to break down the door, even though I knew he wanted to.

Finally, I knew I couldn't just sit there on the floor crying anymore. I felt pathetic, but I had needed it at the time.

I unlocked the door and opened it slowly.

I had found Jake sitting on the other side, his fist resting on the door from knocking on it so many times. As soon as he saw me, he hopped up, beginning to apologize again.

I put a finger to his lips, and he stopped talking. And then I was in his arms, and his lips found mine.

That was how most of our arguments ended. We would kiss with enough passion to set the house on fire, and then I would fall asleep in his arms.

Most of the time I found myself thanking my lucky stars for Jake. I had no idea how I'd survive without him. I wouldn't.

Not all days were like that, though. We went hunting a lot, mostly just to waste time. Or we would stay in the house and watch TV. Or I would call Alice. Anything we did was a distraction, a way to waste time.

One day, I couldn't stop thinking about them. I couldn't stop seeing their faces. Carlisle. Esme. My mom. My dad. The wolfpack. Each face flashed past my eyelids, and no matter what distraction I tried, I couldn't ignore them. Not today.

Jacob and I sat on the sofa, watching TV, and I flinched when I saw a girl on the screen who had long, mahogany brown hair like my mom's. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned off the TV, and Jake looked at me questioningly.

"I can't stop thinking of them. Everywhere I look, I see them." I covered my face with my hands.

Jake scooted closer to me on the sofa, and put his arm around me. The electric feel of his touch on my skin gave me a sudden idea. I knew, suddenly, what distraction would work.

"Jacob", I whispered, and I knew right then that he needed me just as much as I needed him. Our thoughts were in perfect synch.

It only took half a second for our lips to mold together. My right hand locked into his hair, pulling him closer. He pressed one of his hands to my back, tightening his grip.

Neither of us stopped, or pulled away. My breathing became labored, as did his, and I moved just an inch away for just a second to catch my breath. He whispered my name, and leaned down to touch his lips to my throat.

And then I pulled his face back to mine. I began to sweat, the heat of his body pressing down on mine. Frantically, and without really noticing, I pulled my sweater over my head, leaving me in my camisole. Somehow Jacob's shirt was off, too.

I gasped as he pulled me tighter against him. All that I could feel and see was Jacob, all around me. I knew, in that moment, that I could survive anything as long as Jacob was here, here in my arms.

I let him hear my thoughts as my skin touched his. I love you, Jake. Forever.

He groaned in response, pressing his lips to mine with unyielding force. I opened my mouth, and our tongues were about to collide when suddenly –

Ring! Ring! Ring!

My cell phone buzzed on the table. At first we didn't stop, but then I sighed. Maybe it was Alice. Maybe something had happened. I sat up on the couch, reaching for my phone. It was a text? I hadn't gotten any text messages in a long time. Usually Alice just called.

I flipped my phone open, and gasped when I saw it, unbelieving.

"What? What happened? Ness?" Jacob asked, panicked. I ignored him – I couldn't speak. I was still staring at the message:

I thought we agreed to no kissing when I'm within a twenty-mile radius?

The phone slipped from my fingers, falling to the floor.