Chapter 21

JAZZPOV

The feel of her in my arms was amazing. I just enjoyed the feel of her for a moment. I could only imagine what it would be like to be able to hold her like this forever and for her to truly be mine. There was nothing on this world that I wanted more. I knew that if that was what I wanted I would have to go about it the right way. I knew after all that she had said that I needed to say something too.

" Bella I don't know what to say to make you feel better and help you understand what is going on. Because I am just as confused as you are. There are just so many emotions going on inside of me. Emotions that I myself don't understand. You make me feel things that I have never felt before and you make me want things that I have no right to have. You make me question so many things about myself. Everyday you bring out so many things about myself. Things that I had lost long ago.

I feel like for so many years I have been trapped. Essentially held prisoner by what other people expected of me. Or just what they saw in me. Everyone has always looked at me like they were always expecting the worse to out of me. No one has ever really had faith in me. Faith that I could be more than what I used to be. You are the first person to look at me and see good inside of me. For so long I only thought of myself as a monster. Always defined by my past. Unable to escape defining myself by my past. But when I look at you. I don't see the monster. I see the good that you see. Which has made me rethink all kinds of things about myself. I had lost so much of myself tring to be what everyone expected me to be. You don't have those kind of expectations of me. You just let me be me and that is something that I lost along time ago. Its like my past was my prison. While you are my freedom and hopefully my future. I just don't want to loose you.

BPOV

I laid my head on Jaspers chest and enjoyed what little closeness I had with him. I knew it would inevitably have to end. Even while I was in the comfort of his arms. I couldn't help but be a little frightened by what he was thinking. He had yet to say anything since my last emotional yammering. I was beginning to wonder if he was going to say anything at all. He took me by surprise when he finally spoke. What he said completely blew me away. I had no idea how much he really disliked himself. It made me sad to think that was how he had lived his whole life. All the thing that anyone had ever held against him. Always believing that he was forever what he was at his worst. Always seeing himself for what he hated. It hurt me to know that's all he ever believed he could be.

It was hard for me to understand because that was no where near what I saw in him. I guess that's why he said I only saw the good in him. The thought that I had been able to help him in such a profound way. Almost brought tears to my eyes. For so long I was wondering if I was helping him at all because I knew how much he was helping me. Though the best part of the speech was when he said I was his future. That melted my heart because I truly wanted to be his future. It meant so much to me that he trusted me enough to bear his heart and soul to me. I knew he deserved the same from me.

" Jasper, first of all I want you to know that no matter what you are an amazing person and you are perfect just how you are. Anyone who says different apparently doesn't really know you. Anyone who did could see that you have the biggest heart in the world. I consider myself lucky to have been given the chance to know you. You have helped me in ways no one else could have. You helped me pick up the broken pieces of my life. When I thought there was no way I could. You helped me see that what I once thought was a fairy tale was nothing more than a illusion. When I was with Edward I always felt so inferior and that no matter what I did I would never be enough for him. Then by being nothing more than yourself you showed me how it should be. With you I don't have to worry about being anything more than me. You have saved me from a life that wasn't worth the effort I put into it. But most of all you saved me from myself. A week ago if you had told we would end like we are now. I would have thought you were crazy. Its still hard to believe that in just a few days. I have went from a life I thought was perfect. To being so utterly shattered that I was sure I would fall apart. All to end up in place that is so much more than I have ever dreamed. For the past couple of days I have been fighting my feelings because there was no way I should be feeling them. I just don't think I can fight them anymore and I don't want to. I am tried of pretending their not there. I am beyond sick of worring what you will think. I just cant do it anymore. Truthfully I care you far more than I thought I could care for anyone. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that its not right for so many reasons. I don't think my heart really cares what I think. All the reasons in the world wont change anything. There is no denying the way I feel every time we touch or how I can see my whole world in your eyes. That there is no pace that feels more right than in your arms. I have never felt safer than when you hold me. Weather you like it or not you have stolen my heart. A heart that is no longer broken because its found its way home. I no longer have the desire to hide it. You have somehow become my whole world and if that scares you . I am sorry but it's the truth" I said my words rushed but there meaning was the same.

JAZPOV

I couldn't believe the things that Bella had said and how she felt. That was something I dreamed of but never expected to hear. I understood it so well because I felt those things too.

" I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. Not because you care so much. Its because I care that much too. It took all of one day with you. For me to realize how absolutely wonderful you are and from the moment I did. All I wanted to do is keep you safe. To do anything in the world to make you happy. To spend my life protecting you from anyone who wished you harm. You have shown me a truer, deeper way of caring. So much more than anything I have ever known. You my dear have become my everything. I would have never expected to find what I feel for you. In just days you have given me what I have spent my whole existence searching for. I don't want to have to fight it anymore. I want to enjoy it now that I have found it." I said. Pouring my heart into every word.

I couldn't believe how things had changed. Who would have thought that everything I ever needed would be found in one Bella Swan. After everything was said we just held each other. Finally giving in to what we had been fighting. After all the pain we had been through. We somehow ended up with more than we could dream. Hours past and the night was getting cold.

" I think we should head home" I said.

" Okay " was her reply.

We stood up but weren't yet willing to each other go. We stood there for a while before Bella said "Let me try something".

Wondering what she had in mind. I looked down at her smiling face. As she slide her hands around my neck. I had to fight the urge to panic because I knew then what she was going to do. I didn't give into the fear. Instead I leaned down and met her awaiting lips. The feeling of it was unreal. It was like sparks, electricity and fireworks all at once. All the fears I might have had disappeared. Because at that moment there was only her and I and was nothing to be afraid of.

BPOV

Who would have thought that the beat night of my life would be in the mountains. Miles away from anywhere. But none of that mattered because when our lips finally met. The whole world vanished. There was only him and I. In that moment all the pain I had been carrying disappeared.. None of that mattered anymore I had found all that I needed.

Authors Note Hope you all like this one. Once again thanks to all of you for the reviews and such. You guys are awesome.