IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE:

After last week's debacle in the comments section of AO3, I have decided to take a step back from writing and updating this story. And I expect people to respect that decision and not to pressure me into posting another chapter until I have dealt with my issues. I've been battling with depression for four years now. I've had highs (2012-2013) and lows (2011, 2014-present) and as of right now, I've reached a very low point in my life. This story is currently a major source of my anxiety and I need to step away from it. Please respect that. Today I started my first round of medication that I've neglected for the past two years in hopes of getting better and being able to get my life back under control.

Now, I don't like it when people are pushy with me. It just makes me want to do something less. So the more of those types of reviews I get, the less I'll want to come back to this story in the future. If y'all want me to come back, if y'all want me to continue writing and updating and posting, please respect my need for some distance from it for the time being. Let me see how my meds work out these next few weeks. Let me see if they even out my moods and bring back just a tiny bit of the confidence I've lost these past two years. Let me heal. That's all I ask.

Chapter 21

"We really need to talk about what just happened," Felicity quietly said as she and Oliver walked side by side down the long, cold corridor that led from the parking garage into the main hospital building. It was empty aside from the two of them, and the footfalls echoed through the windowless hallway. His hand was wrapped around her, holding on tight as they walked side by side.

"I know," Oliver replied, giving her fingers a light squeeze as he gazed down at her with a heart-melting smile. "Later."

"Why not now?" Felicity asked, glaring up at him. This was one important conversation they absolutely needed to have because it would change the entire course of their contract. If Oliver was even entertaining the thought of leaving Sara for her, Felicity needed to know. She couldn't even begin to fathom living with a burden that large.

"Because we're out in public and I don't want anyone to hear what we're talking about," he answered as they reached the lobby. Felicity pursed her lips but didn't add anything more. She couldn't argue with his logic.

An elevator ride ten floors up took them to ICU and Barry's room, which had suddenly become a little more crowded than normal. Felicity spotted someone standing beside his bed just before reaching for the knob. A woman about her height with flawless dark skin and pretty brown eyes took a seat in the chair beside him and wrapped her hand around his.

"Who's she?" Oliver softly asked as he watched the scene unfold. He had known about Barry and the fact that he worked as a bartender in the lower level of Verdant. Felicity hadn't been able to stop babbling about him the previous day while they waited for him to be brought to his room.

"I don't know," she replied, "But I intend to find out. The only people Barry knows from Starling are me, Helena, and a few of the other people from the club. And he's told me he doesn't have very many school friends either. She must be someone from Central City, though, because that's where he's originally from."

"You want me to go and ask?" Oliver said as he let go of her hand and began making his way toward the door.

Felicity grabbed his forearm, quickly pulling him back and saying, "No, I've got it. I'm a little less intimidating than you." His sour-face made her smile as she raised herself up on the tips of her toes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips after seeing that the hallway was empty. That calmed Oliver down considerably as he relaxed beneath her touch. "I'll be right back," she assured him before stepping away.

"Oh, Barry," she heard the woman whisper from the threshold of the door. "Why you?"

Felicity gently knocked on the metal door frame, grabbing the woman's attention almost immediately. They stared at each other, pale blue eyes meeting chocolate brown. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but who are you?" Felicity asked as politely as she could. The woman turned and gave her a surprised look. "Ugh, I apologize. That sounded a bit harsh, I know, but it's just that Barry doesn't have a lot of friends, and I know pretty much all of them myself, so seeing someone I don't know kinda makes me a little paranoid considering what happened to him."

The woman stood up from the chair, her hand slipping out of Barry's as she turned to Felicity. "I understand," she said, giving her a warm smile and extending her hand. "I'm Iris… Iris West. I just got in from Central City."

Iris West. The name sounded familiar. Then it clicked. "You're Barry's best friend, right?" Felicity asked, gripping her hand and giving it a gentle shake.

"Yep, that's me," Iris nodded.

"It sucks that we're meeting under these circumstances," Felicity said, "but it's really nice to finally meet you."

"Not to be rude or anything, but you are…?" Iris asked, pausing for a moment.

"Felicity… Felicity Smoak," she introduced herself.

"You're Felicity," Iris said with a smile. "Barry's mentioned you a few times. Said you were some computer genius or something that helped him when he dropped his phone a few months ago."

"That would be me," Felicity replied. "Certified computer genius."

They stood awkwardly for a few moments, assessing each other. Felicity could see the tired look in the brunette's eyes and the way she seemed to slump forward, as if the weight of her friend's injuries was heaped on her shoulders. She knew that feeling all too well considering it was her fault that Barry was in this mess in the first place.

"So, um, how much do you know about what happened to him?" Iris asked as she turned to her friend, her hand falling on the bed beside his foot. "I saw the story on the news last night and rushed over on the first train out without even telling my dad. Do the police have any leads on who might have attacked him? Are they even looking into it?"

"They're doing everything they can," Felicity assured her. "Det. Lance, he's my… friend's dad, and he personally told me he would take care of this himself, so don't worry. He's doing everything in his power to find the person responsible for doing this to Barry. I'm half tempted to go out and canvas the area myself if I could, but the Glades aren't exactly the safest place for a girl to be walking around by herself, ya know? Besides, I don't think my friends would be too happy if I even tried, so I'm just going to let the police do what they're good at."

"That's good to know," Iris replied with a wavering smile. "I haven't seen Barry in months. I was actually planning on coming down here for his birthday as a surprise, but I guess that won't be happening now. I just… can't believe someone would do this to him. He's such a sweet guy. Besides, if it was an attempted robbery, he would have just given the guy his wallet, no qualms about it. Barry knows not to risk his life for something as small as a few dollars in his pocket."

Felicity's stomach churned after hearing the way Iris described her friend. Barry really was a gentle soul, someone who would give the shirt off his back to anyone in need. "I can't help but feel responsible for what happened," she admitted. "Barry came out to help me with something that night and now I'm wishing I had just gone over to his place instead." Felicity could feel the tears welling in her eyes and half expected Iris to lash out at her for what she said.

Instead, the other woman wrapped her arms around Felicity's shoulders and held her tight. "It's not your fault anymore than it is his," Iris said. "The person who did this to him, he's the one at fault, so don't blame yourself. It'll just make you feel worse."

"Thank you," Felicity mumbled before pulling away from her embrace. "God, I can't believe I'm turning into such a mess. I've barely just met you and I'm already crying on your shoulder. I'm sorry."

"Oh, no! Don't worry about it," Iris replied as her hand rubbed up and down Felicity's arm. "Being a reporter, I've had my fair share of people I don't know crying on my shoulder. You're not the first and you certainly won't be the last."

The sound of a soft cough startled them both as they turned toward the door to see Oliver standing there, his shoulder pressed against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Oh, my god! I'm so sorry!" Felicity yelped as she practically ran over to him and grabbed his forearm, pulling him toward Iris. "Oliver, this is Barry's friend from Central City, Iris West. Iris, this is…"

"Oliver Queen," the brunette breathed, her chocolate brown eyes immediately going wide as saucers as she stared at him, star struck and speechless. "It is such a pleasure to meet you," she continued, the smile on her face lighting up as she extended her hand.

Oliver politely shook it all the while standing as close to Felicity as physically possible. "Nice to meet you too, Iris," he replied before wrapping an arm around Felicity's waist and leaning down to whisper into her ear. "Be careful of what you say, please," he murmured then stood up straight once more.

She glared up at him, her face stern as her eyes bore into his for a moment as if to say, 'You think I don't know that?' He relaxed his arm, his hand sliding from her hip to the small of her back and staying there as a moment of awkward silence passed between them.

"So, do you know Barry, too?" Iris asked.

"I know of him, but I don't know him personally," Oliver honestly replied. "Felicity was supposed to introduce us at some point, but she never got the chance." It was a diplomatic answer, one full of thinly veiled lies that only she could see, but Felicity didn't say another word. She understood why he wanted to hide as much from Iris as possible. Being a reporter, she had the potential to expose them, and that was the last thing he wanted. So until he could assess how much of a threat she posed, they'd stick to the "We're just friends and coworkers" story and lie through his teeth.

Lying… It seemed to be the theme that week, Felicity thought as her face fell slightly and she pulled away from Oliver just enough that he noticed. He followed, his body remaining close to hers, keeping her within reach as if he was trying to protect. To a certain extent, he was, and she appreciated him for being so concerned for her welfare, but at that moment, all Felicity wanted was a friend, someone who understood the pressure she was under and could make her feel better.

She could see that in Iris, in the way she held herself, arms wrapped around her body, protecting herself from the people around her. She was hurting, too, and it was hard for her to keep up the front she put on for everyone. So Felicity pulled away from Oliver and made her way to Iris, her hand falling on her forearm as she said, "Would you like to go grab a cup of coffee? You look like you could use one. Oliver can stay here and watch Barry for a little while. Right, Oliver?"

Felicity shot him a look, her eyes conveying her need to comfort the fragile creature beside her. He sighed and nodded. "Go," Oliver said. "But keep your phone on just in case I need to get a hold of you. And don't forget, we have that dinner meeting this evening."

"I know," Felicity replied as she rolled her eyes at him. "Don't worry. We'll only be gone for a little while." Then she linked her arm around Iris's and led her out of the room.

"So, are you two…?" Iris began to ask before Felicity cut her off.

"No! No, we are most definitely not together," she answered, feeling her gut churn. When had she become so good at blatantly lying to people? Keeping secrets was one thing, but lying… It was something Felicity didn't like doing. But the words continued to spill from her mouth as she added, "Oliver's just the overprotective best friend type. Besides, he's my boss and it's against company policy to fraternize with coworkers."

The lies felt like acid on her tongue the more she spoke. And Felicity hated herself for it. After last night's god awful punishment for simply keeping a secret, she just wanted to tell the truth, but she understood the danger it posed. The last thing she wanted was the press getting wind of her relationship with Oliver and Sara. One scare had already been more than enough. She couldn't risk another one.

"Ah, I see," Iris replied. "So, please tell me we're going to get some real coffee and not that sludge they serve out of the vending machines," she quickly changed the subject.

"Oh, god, that stuff is pretty awful! I had some yesterday and nearly spit it out. No, we are going for a real cup of coffee down the street. There's a Starbucks about a block away."

"Good, because I love good coffee. I used to work at Jitters, which is this great little coffee shop back home, and the coffee there is spectacular."

"Iris," Felicity said as she tugged the woman against her side with a smile, "I think you and I are going to be great friends."

Together, they walked out of the hospital and down the street to where Felicity remembered the coffee shop being. They chit-chatted about the small things like how Starling City compared to Central City (Starling was much darker and foreboding), what it was like growing up there (quiet and peaceful), and what her parents did for a living (her mother had died and her father was a detective for the Central City PD).

It wasn't until they were standing in line that the topic of Iris's job came into question. "So, you're a reporter?" Felicity asked as they waited behind at least ten other people in the jam packed cafe. "What do you report on?"

"Current events, mostly, but sometimes I'll do some science related stories. That's when I'd call Barry and ask him to explain things to me. He's good at that, you know, explaining the science stuff that's far beyond my scope of knowledge. And he always answers when I call," Iris explained with a small smile and a faraway look.

"You two are close, aren't you?"

"Yeah, we pretty much grew up together." Iris paused for a moment, glancing around the coffee shop as if she didn't feel comfortable talking with so many people around. But she continued, saying, "After his mother's murder, Barry came to stay with us. My dad practically adopted him and raised him as his own. They used to spend weekends doing science experiments together. It was cute until Barry almost blew up the garage."

Felicity chuckled. She could almost see a twelve-year-old Barry Allen doing experiments in his foster family's garage. Her smile faded when Iris continued.

"I knew he would go into forensic science well before he did. His mother's murder and his father's trial… They had a really big impact on him. Barry just wasn't the same after it happened, but he was more determined. He still believes his dad is innocent even though there was overwhelming evidence against him. He kept saying he saw who did it, that it was a man in a skull mask, but nobody believed him."

"Did you believe him?" Felicity asked.

"Truthfully, I didn't know what to believe until after I became a reporter and I started to do some digging," Iris answered. "Apparently there were a lot of conflicting reports about what happened. All the neighbors said they heard something, but none of them could exactly tell any of the responding officers what it was, and then there was the blood evidence. Even my dad, who was working on the case at the time, didn't know about it until I discovered it a week ago. I was going to surprise Barry with this new evidence when I came up for his birthday since it's still being processed."

Felicity's head dropped. "Wow," she said. "This makes me feel even worse now."

"It's not like you could have known this would happen," Iris reiterated her earlier statement from the hospital room.

"But here's the thing," Felicity replied, knowing full well that what she was about to tell Iris could possibly get her into trouble with Oliver and Sara, but she just didn't care. Iris was proving to be an ally. There was nothing about her that remotely screamed danger, so Felicity just went for it. "I'm being stalked by someone I don't know. The reason I was talking to Barry the other night was because I needed his help figuring out who this person is. They've left me several creepy gifts on my doorstep and every single time it's happened, Barry was nice enough to help me out."

"Oh, my god!" Iris replied, the shock and horror evident on her face. "What exactly was Barry helping you with?"

"The latest gift was a necklace. I gave it to Barry so he could see if there was any DNA on it, but apparently the thief who beat him up took it and now I'm at a loss for what to do. My friends are all scared out of their minds for me, and all I can think about is what I could have done differently to prevent all this from happening," Felicity admitted as they stepped up to the front of the line.

"I want to help you," Iris offered after they put in their coffee order and paid for both their drinks even though Felicity protested.

"I can't ask that of you," the blonde replied. "I don't want to get anyone else involved. The police have already taken over the investigation."

"Hello! Detective's daughter! I know my way around a police station and I'm pretty sure I can get my dad to pull a few strings, too."

"Iris, it's too much. Really," Felicity insisted. "Det. Lance is doing everything he can, and considering his daughter is my friend, I'm pretty sure my stalker and Barry's attacker are at the top of his to-do list."

"If you need anything, please let me know," Iris replied as they grabbed their coffees and began making their way back to the hospital. "I mean it," she sincerely added, stopping them both as she took hold of Felicity's forearm and turned her around. "You've been good to Barry, good for Barry, and I just want to return the favor."

It gave Felicity pause, seeing the sincerity etched in the other woman's face. Iris West was as genuine as they came, and she couldn't help the watery smile that crawled onto her lips. "Okay," she finally agreed with a nod.

They spent the rest of the walk back to the hospital quietly sipping their respective coffees, and when they reached the hallway that led to Barry's room, Felicity spotted Oliver pacing the tiled floor, his phone pressed to his ear and a scowl present on his face. Her immediate reaction was to stride up to him and place a comforting hand against his forearm where it swung at his side, his fingers rubbing together in a telltale sign of frustration and exasperation. He looked down at her, his eyes still dark and his jaw clenched.

"Yeah, alright…" he said to the caller on the other line. "Just fucking deal with it. I'm done playing games with this guy. Add another fifty thousand to the contract per year and make it the final offer. I'm not going to negotiate anything more until he proves his worth. If he doesn't like it, then we'll find someone else." And with that, Oliver ended the call, slipping his phone back into the pocket of his dark green hoodie before focusing his attention on the woman standing in front of him.

"Everything okay?" Felicity asked as she gazed up at him.

"Yeah," he replied. "Palmer's being an ass about his contract. He keeps trying to negotiate a bigger salary, but I'm not exactly willing to pay up until he proves he's worth it. I don't really care how many magazines he's been in or how many degrees he has or how many grants he's earned."

"I trust your judgment," Felicity said as she squeezed his forearm, feeling the muscles tense before relaxing. "Although it makes me curious why I'm so special whereas he's not."

Oliver smiled down at her, a smile that only seemed to come out when she was around, and answered, "That's because you are. You've proved to me that you're capable of everything I need you to be, and that's why I've spared no expense when it comes to you. It's because you're worth it."

She couldn't help herself. A wide, warm smile lit up her face as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a short, chaste kiss to his lips. Felicity knew she was tempting fate by kissing him, but at that moment, she didn't care. It seemed as if Oliver had put his heart on his sleeve just for her, and honestly, it made her feel special knowing she had proved herself worthy of her position in his company and his life.

"Thank you," Felicity whispered before pulling away.

A clearing throat from behind them startled the pair apart. They jumped back from each other, the guilt written all over their faces as they both turned to see Iris standing at the door to Barry's room with her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes narrowed. "Not together, huh?" she asked, glaring at both of them.

"We're not…" Oliver started before Felicity placed a hand on his arm.

"Look, this is really new for us and we're trying to keep it a secret," she admitted because it was the truth. Technically, they were together, even if it was due to the contract, and they were trying to keep it a secret. Besides, being honest with Iris now would do them well in the long run.

This time it was Oliver who shot her a look, but Felicity simply nodded her head, letting him know it was okay, that she trusted Iris. "We'd really appreciate it if you kept this between us. We've already been through a lot and Oliver likes his privacy. He's not the person he used to be."

Iris dropped her glare and immediately softened her gaze. "I understand," she said. "Being a reporter, I can see why you wouldn't want to tell me. But just so you know, I'm not a gossip columnist. I care more about world events than people's love lives, so your secret's safe with me."

"Thank you, Iris," Felicity replied. "That means a lot to us."

"You're welcome," Iris said. "But that's not the reason I came out here. I found something on the table next to Barry's bed that I think you need to see."

Together, the three of them entered the room and Felicity's eyes immediately zeroed in on the large manilla envelope with her name on it in the same delicately terrifying script as the "gifts" her stalker had sent her. "Oliver," she said, her voice wavering as she grabbed his arm. He followed her as she stepped closer, grabbing hold of her hand as she reached out with a shaky fingers to take the envelope.

Just picking it up told her exactly what she'd find inside. The telltale rattling made her skin grow cold as her heart began to pound in her chest. She looked up at Oliver and asked, "How long have you been out of the room?"

"No more than a few minutes," he answered. "I got the call from the lawyers and went outside to talk to them, that was it."

"Did you see anyone come or go down the hall?" Felicity sounded almost frantic as she continued her questioning.

"Just a few doctors and nurses, no one sus...pic...ous…" She could see his mind working, replaying whatever details he'd missed during his phone call. Then Oliver grabbed the envelope from her and ripped it open. Out spilled the necklace Felicity thought she'd lost along with a small folded sheet of paper. He opened it and read the note, his jaw tightening to the point where she could see it start to tick.

"What is it?" Felicity asked as she held his hand tighter. Oliver shoved the note toward her.

Felicity's hands began to shake as she read what the big block letters said:

I think you lost something. I found it for you. It wasn't easy because he put up a fight when I tried to take it back, but you have it now. Don't lose it again.

XOXO

Your Secret Admirer